In the garden of my heart

Dawson

听《All I want to do...》有感，涂鸦了这首小诗。见笑，见笑！

In the garden of my heart
You planted a tree
From sunset til dawn
Through darkness to light
5 X. \- c: i4 w0 ]3 h) ]& cNourished with my soul
Devoured my sorrow by thee

In the memory of my life
$ Z" _2 M4 g* x; fYou planted a dream
" S% }& o7 Y; u2 e( J7 e1 ?/ pShould the sky fall down on me
May promises fade in the sea
! @" ]/ M! {5 ?+ DSewing back every broken pieces
Bursting the love out of me
$ H: t$ G# e$ R5 d/ T8 C
[mu]http://penguin.spss.sd59.bc.ca/~mqiu/images/without.mp3[/mu]

云山水月

原帖由 Dawson 于 2006-6-25 01:05 发表
8 ^% t& E( V+ X  G$ m* q听《All I want to do...》有感，涂鸦了这首小诗。见笑，见笑！

4 `4 U# z: F( H' j$ N% LIn the garden of my heart
You planted a tree
5 U# @+ f' o7 H; IFrom sunset til dawn
Through darkness to light
# c/ \  j2 X  b, v' r2 U+ m& \8 g. oNourished with my soul
6 T, k( }( \0 P- o0 e/ _. RDevoured my so ...

3 {4 `* ]. ?3 b4 L. y8 ]; z# c
眼没花哈。。。第一首本版的英文诗吧？
. v( V  ^  _. `7 ]! P" j1 B! t  w
写得真好。

加精加精！

Greatwall

哥们儿，你没喝多吧？没事就过来烧烟啊！

九月

汗！居然有２单词不认识。：（

Justing

原帖由 云山水月 于 2006-6-25 01:08 发表
眼没花哈。。。第一首本版的英文诗吧？
7 b7 \1 Q/ ^  W写得真好。
加精加精！

我曾在本版也发过一首英文诗

五月

如果能谱上曲, 夕阳西下，在海天相接的海边, 轻抚吉他浅唱, 定是首动人的心曲。

微澜

原帖由 五月 于 2006-6-25 05:31 发表
如果能谱上曲, 夕阳西下，在海天相接的海边, 轻抚吉他浅唱, 定是首动人的心曲。

五月JJ这个意境，想想实在是罗曼蒂克，不过在爱屯，海天相接是没有了，只有在湖畔雪山了：）

朱顺顺

Should the sky fall down on me--- leave out "down", as is  no good here.

" ^* z. P6 s: q3 ZSewing back every broken pieces--- every broken piece, or all broken pieces.

Dawson

原帖由 红岫添乱 于 2006-6-29 11:06 发表
- {. c9 b1 F) U" UShould the sky fall down on me--- leave out "down", as is  no good here.
2 U3 [! w' @4 y* t9 c# n( N' N1 m
Sewing back every broken pieces--- every broken piece, or all broken pieces.

Thanks for your insightful comment, however I have to disagree with what you said.
6 H( D1 }# p- r7 P) U
1) Sky falls down on sb. is a very common phrase or idom that's been used in a lot of occasions, meaning end of the world. For example, it was used in Savage Garden's song "truly deeply madly".
5 {* [0 f3 ^0 H
) Y" x! r* J. k7 |2 ~9 v2) Every broken pieces, hmmm, again broken pieces is a phrase, I know grammar wise it looks awkard, but that "S" at the end puts a nice rythem to the poem.

月光宝盒

红岫添乱 这喜滋滋的头像虽很农民，但很喜气！很有乐在其中的意境啊！

FCUK

thee 和you, 好像没有同时用的吧。
* O; H5 T; ?0 p5 k2 p) R  P9 }
Shall I compare thee to a Summer's day?

五月

原帖由 FCUK 于 2006-7-2 10:50 发表
, e+ b1 W/ V) f. V4 ?' N% a* rthee 和you, 好像没有同时用的吧。

Shall I compare thee to a Summer's day?

诗歌, 重在意境和语感, 没有那么严格教条的语法要求吧.

Dawson

原帖由 FCUK 于 2006-7-2 10:50 发表
: b0 Q" b1 I( @9 y! F" sthee 和you, 好像没有同时用的吧。
/ I. v, k4 p7 N) U9 h# n1 k7 _& P% ?
Shall I compare thee to a Summer's day?

2 Z( y& l( k( x4 B
% n8 g/ h$ j- }& U; p有啊，有很多经典的例子。
4 y1 O8 l; F% j/ _. H; N
比如Sharon A. Bryington那首著名的《While Waiting For Thee》

Don't weep at my grave
For I am not there,
/ y' D. V# J* H1 S& W2 d5 n7 H0 yI've a date with a butterfly
To dance on the air.
2 z0 {4 ^7 s3 S; I; |: Z% y2 g  w: IIf I'm missed, find a flower,
0 d5 ]4 r0 h  G% [1 Y" R) jI'll be there too,
Sniffing it's fragrance
4 _0 t1 c' Z7 |" VRight next to you.
; N, ^* t$ [; `7 w8 ~
Don't be sad
% b5 {* W8 q. h8 \( l( ZWhen you remember me,
For I'm singing in the sunshine,
Wild and free,
+ |' |; M/ x7 ~1 G, T3 u5 Y' l; TFlirting with the lighting,
Playing tag with the wind,
7 @$ W4 G. d1 ^% V/ Q9 Q7 LChasing the thunder
, e5 `. A% m  W3 W  BTime and again,
Soaring with the eagle,
2 X7 V' k$ ]$ m" OSwimming in the sea,
! R% W1 x+ M. EEnjoying all of nature
9 i) t9 x4 f: c; X9 S) e) PWhile I'm waiting for thee.