In the garden of my heart

Dawson

听《All I want to do...》有感，涂鸦了这首小诗。见笑，见笑！

In the garden of my heart
7 u' m7 n; H4 i  a0 N% r7 R" Z6 GYou planted a tree
From sunset til dawn
Through darkness to light
/ _6 I& d+ N5 M2 h1 `Nourished with my soul
Devoured my sorrow by thee

; |! P5 R6 ^; k7 rIn the memory of my life
You planted a dream
2 O1 o9 c3 v+ }, \  Z) l; ZShould the sky fall down on me
May promises fade in the sea
Sewing back every broken pieces
Bursting the love out of me
: _7 X' b! G+ t4 |$ C; e% O
[mu]http://penguin.spss.sd59.bc.ca/~mqiu/images/without.mp3[/mu]

云山水月

原帖由 Dawson 于 2006-6-25 01:05 发表
# S$ K  \  O8 K8 D) Q4 |$ O听《All I want to do...》有感，涂鸦了这首小诗。见笑，见笑！

In the garden of my heart
You planted a tree
From sunset til dawn
Through darkness to light
Nourished with my soul
! R. w+ C4 y$ p. u! R" e5 nDevoured my so ...

, r7 F( U/ Y$ _5 X4 Q  A
眼没花哈。。。第一首本版的英文诗吧？

. n. ^1 s8 _" ~  \( S7 e写得真好。
  K6 X; |8 ?( Y  v6 L+ V8 d/ T
0 {' W8 z; R' l! j6 I加精加精！

Greatwall

哥们儿，你没喝多吧？没事就过来烧烟啊！

九月

汗！居然有２单词不认识。：（

Justing

原帖由 云山水月 于 2006-6-25 01:08 发表
. C( N. w! `! w眼没花哈。。。第一首本版的英文诗吧？
写得真好。
& S0 b6 A2 k/ j3 b加精加精！

# o3 D8 Y. P+ u2 o) X我曾在本版也发过一首英文诗

五月

如果能谱上曲, 夕阳西下，在海天相接的海边, 轻抚吉他浅唱, 定是首动人的心曲。

微澜

原帖由 五月 于 2006-6-25 05:31 发表
如果能谱上曲, 夕阳西下，在海天相接的海边, 轻抚吉他浅唱, 定是首动人的心曲。

五月JJ这个意境，想想实在是罗曼蒂克，不过在爱屯，海天相接是没有了，只有在湖畔雪山了：）

朱顺顺

Should the sky fall down on me--- leave out "down", as is  no good here.

. O: B! x9 W0 [3 a% W; ^: ^Sewing back every broken pieces--- every broken piece, or all broken pieces.

Dawson

原帖由 红岫添乱 于 2006-6-29 11:06 发表
- z& M2 I- n6 W: P& P( ^8 gShould the sky fall down on me--- leave out "down", as is  no good here.
9 _5 m/ Z, d, F+ X1 Z5 u9 h7 ]
Sewing back every broken pieces--- every broken piece, or all broken pieces.

+ F- q7 m* o+ h  X% G8 K: c, c* `; c
Thanks for your insightful comment, however I have to disagree with what you said.
6 x. Z. k. G% f  x& g
1) Sky falls down on sb. is a very common phrase or idom that's been used in a lot of occasions, meaning end of the world. For example, it was used in Savage Garden's song "truly deeply madly".

2) Every broken pieces, hmmm, again broken pieces is a phrase, I know grammar wise it looks awkard, but that "S" at the end puts a nice rythem to the poem.

月光宝盒

红岫添乱 这喜滋滋的头像虽很农民，但很喜气！很有乐在其中的意境啊！

FCUK

thee 和you, 好像没有同时用的吧。

Shall I compare thee to a Summer's day?

五月

原帖由 FCUK 于 2006-7-2 10:50 发表
+ o6 z1 [  Q. K1 S: m) ~: \thee 和you, 好像没有同时用的吧。
" d; b/ G- m4 j6 q; I
. n- V% m2 T, {5 i0 CShall I compare thee to a Summer's day?

4 T+ B! [4 I1 ~" I+ j诗歌, 重在意境和语感, 没有那么严格教条的语法要求吧.

Dawson

原帖由 FCUK 于 2006-7-2 10:50 发表
% Y) b" w* n9 I: n7 j+ d  \$ qthee 和you, 好像没有同时用的吧。
7 J! ^3 S% O' L0 g9 j1 h- D7 t
" v6 t" H3 d/ g5 B2 @Shall I compare thee to a Summer's day?

5 d! l) \2 H" B6 L  A* I" Z
有啊，有很多经典的例子。
& X/ p3 [$ l2 _3 m+ N) ^6 {
比如Sharon A. Bryington那首著名的《While Waiting For Thee》
" T+ N. j9 ]2 J* o7 M5 J& t
- r4 X* F# c" QDon't weep at my grave
0 ~- C$ t% N3 D; j( Y; t/ r1 X+ T% _For I am not there,
I've a date with a butterfly
) Q# ~; l' u; q- n/ s) x9 lTo dance on the air.
If I'm missed, find a flower,
I'll be there too,
Sniffing it's fragrance
Right next to you.

Don't be sad
/ g, {# ]- \6 ]6 t, V& B3 OWhen you remember me,
For I'm singing in the sunshine,
0 g8 z5 v+ U! _9 q& K, }& pWild and free,
Flirting with the lighting,
Playing tag with the wind,
Chasing the thunder
Time and again,
/ G* L: v8 `, z. D* \( v1 D1 ASoaring with the eagle,
3 @2 N+ w" ?: j# P1 {! I1 PSwimming in the sea,
0 \& u1 E' o2 s, n* E$ J( oEnjoying all of nature
# K4 u: l) @/ E/ i  oWhile I'm waiting for thee.