我尊贵的邻居(11)

Justing · 发表于 2011-1-2 16:30

本帖最后由 Justing 于 2011-1-2 16:34 编辑

井忘川

我尊贵的邻居
是我们小区  几十户
唯一的元老
一住三十多年

邻居八十多了  却身轻如燕
白发红颜  不见皱纹
开车铲雪  挖土栽花
似不识  岁月为何物

头顶英国文学硕士的光环
邻居气宇轩昂
如同女面朱熔基
邻居的字
则遒劲似  老树裹枯藤

邻居酷喜中国文化
说她属土龙
其笛声也悠扬
那是从隔壁传来的
唯一的声响
那不知名的曲调
反复颂扬着  生命的壮美与灿烂

Justing · 发表于 2011-1-2 17:13

这首哪天有空好好翻译一下，写张贺卡送过去，顺便取取经。回帖备忘。

张玉 · 发表于 2011-1-2 17:26

老人是宝啊

Justing · 发表于 2011-1-2 20:03

身轻如燕与不见皱纹位置互换

Justing · 发表于 2011-1-2 22:11

本帖最后由 Justing 于 2011-1-2 22:30 编辑

英文版，欢迎指正：

Living here for more than thirty years,
my prestigous neighbour
is the only first owner of the unit properties
in our community ---
tens of townhouse condos.

Neighbour is more than eighty years old,
magically, without wrinkles into your eyes.
She has white hairs and red faces.
Her light-footed movement
is just like a flying swallow.

She shovels the snow on her door lane
before driving her own car;
she digs her back yard
to plant flowers ---
as if she did not know what years mean.

With the glory of the Master's Degree in English literature,
neighbour has a dignified appearance ---
as if she were the female twin of Chinese Premier Rongji Zhu.
Neighbour's handwriting
is so vigorous as to be the old trees
interwined by dry vines.

Neighbour loves Chinese culture deeply.
She said she belongs to the Earth Dragon.
Well, her fluting is very melodious ---
that is the sole sound going into my ears
from the next side of my wall;
the unknown tune is extolling
the magnificence and brilliance of the life,
again and again.

Justing · 发表于 2011-1-2 22:52

本帖最后由 Justing 于 2011-1-2 23:13 编辑

土龙，1928年，与朱熔基同年，具体到月份，邻居也只比朱熔基小1个多月。

Justing · 发表于 2011-1-2 23:55

本帖最后由 Justing 于 2011-1-3 00:01 编辑

身轻如燕与不见皱纹位置互换) J5 P6 U) H' g
Justing 发表于 2011-1-2 20:03

从音韵角度考虑，还是不换为宜。我写新诗，仿照古诗平仄的要求，比较注意语句缓（相当于平声）急（相当于仄声）的交错搭配，这是我的独到之处。
另外，翻译改动一处：
Her light-footed movement
is just like a flying swallow.
修改为：
Her light-footed movement
is just like a swallow flying.

hm86888 · 发表于 2011-1-4 23:35

6# Justing

真的是太像朱镕基了！

Justing · 发表于 2011-1-4 23:38

本帖最后由 Justing 于 2011-1-4 23:40 编辑

6# Justing : ^+ a3 y& g6 k9 F* V
真的是太像朱镕基了！+ V6 e% a. G9 r! d( M
hm86888 发表于 2011-1-4 23:35

我贴的就是朱熔基啊，邻居还不敢照。这个镕字我词库里居然没有。

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