我尊贵的邻居(11)

Justing

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5 Q- ]2 b: [# ?$ E% }. |1 E井忘川
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' V+ Q/ l, r* A我尊贵的邻居
是我们小区  几十户
0 t  r' u. M: G7 V$ I) J' {唯一的元老
一住三十多年
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; g3 U! U1 |! L' b# F/ G2 r邻居八十多了  却身轻如燕
+ Q+ c5 ^- |/ o8 {3 E4 i, {白发红颜  不见皱纹
开车铲雪  挖土栽花
8 C1 X! l1 o) s) G似不识  岁月为何物

- m2 n$ B6 O# o% g" X0 K3 y' a8 Y4 o头顶英国文学硕士的光环
邻居气宇轩昂
3 O) m: Y4 X$ g5 K/ J$ P如同女面朱熔基
邻居的字
' }: }9 D6 J- m. ~$ f- A则遒劲似  老树裹枯藤

& J8 p6 i, Y! B8 H2 ^( X邻居酷喜中国文化
# n. J( `2 P/ G" y7 t说她属土龙
, T8 _0 u$ E/ T) i* s) e* Y7 p其笛声也悠扬
那是从隔壁传来的
唯一的声响
% t8 j4 o( T6 |4 F7 a; p那不知名的曲调
反复颂扬着  生命的壮美与灿烂

Justing

这首哪天有空好好翻译一下，写张贺卡送过去，顺便取取经。回帖备忘。

张玉

老人是宝啊

Justing

身轻如燕 与 不见皱纹 位置互换

Justing

英文版，欢迎指正：

4 D$ y, @7 ~3 F' WLiving here for more than thirty years,
my prestigous neighbour
is the only first owner of the unit properties
in our community ---
tens of townhouse condos.

  c1 Z: b6 n% `9 rNeighbour is more than eighty years old,
- I1 I6 s9 a7 {7 D9 Kmagically, without wrinkles into your eyes.
& Q7 A6 Y) d, {( y. BShe has white hairs and red faces.
1 {+ P$ s. F7 k: F  M) w8 H+ gHer light-footed movement
9 Q9 R. K! N* Z5 zis just like a flying swallow.
0 _- x/ h! B* w! X2 O7 I
5 ]9 A3 l7 w9 [# K4 OShe shovels the snow on her door lane
9 H7 e( G" r$ P7 z; r; f3 E1 obefore driving her own car;
- y+ `/ q, i7 F  e/ K( N: eshe digs her back yard
to plant flowers ---
as if she did not know what years mean.

" }* F- M) c' Z9 q& S$ S8 kWith the glory of the Master's Degree in English literature,
neighbour has a dignified appearance ---
* J9 R& ~; V( F4 a1 C9 F* r4 K; R" Jas if she were the female twin of Chinese Premier Rongji Zhu.
2 G) H2 b; ~3 r" ]4 ^Neighbour's handwriting
0 x  J) |8 y% b( Q* E2 eis so vigorous as to be the old trees
interwined by dry vines.

Neighbour loves Chinese culture deeply.
She said she belongs to the Earth Dragon.
0 e2 R) M$ L/ Y( pWell, her fluting is very melodious ---
3 }+ {$ U) K/ jthat is the sole sound going into my ears
# l, w: v: u2 c! _. n1 }from the next side of my wall;
the unknown tune is extolling
the magnificence and brilliance of the life,
again and again.

Justing

: ]2 M: L6 x5 b" W0 j
5 W* Y4 t2 I1 o! z+ Z* V土龙，1928年，与朱熔基同年，具体到月份，邻居也只比朱熔基小1个多月。

Justing

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身轻如燕 与 不见皱纹 位置互换
Justing 发表于 2011-1-2 20:03

从音韵角度考虑，还是不换为宜。我写新诗，仿照古诗平仄的要求，比较注意语句缓（相当于平声）急（相当于仄声）的交错搭配，这是我的独到之处。
另外，翻译改动一处：
Her light-footed movement
' y" K% R' r5 [. Bis just like a flying swallow.
' W0 }  K& F- f, f3 }修改为：
* ]6 L$ o' A, w, O, r) |Her light-footed movement
6 Q- \  z5 D* e8 {is just like a swallow flying.

hm86888

6# Justing
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+ J1 o" A5 {! Y% z  ]真的是太像朱镕基了！

Justing

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6# Justing
真的是太像朱镕基了！
hm86888 发表于 2011-1-4 23:35

1 v$ j; }+ C6 N4 q5 o6 P我贴的就是朱熔基啊，邻居还不敢照。这个 镕 字我词库里居然没有。