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Shejing's random sick joke #2

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鲜花(499) 鸡蛋(10)
发表于 2010-11-19 12:52 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
A businessman was getting ready to go on a long business trip. He knew1 `  u+ m) @; x: c
his wife would have a hard time being faithful while he was gone so he
" f& @+ u# G. u$ |, f. m3 Xdecided to go to a sex shop to find something to entertain her.  As he4 M% E- H# H7 [& Z/ s& I- Z# y
browsed through all the different toys the old man behind the counter asked
" M. O8 q1 n7 k0 _; Jif he needed help.  He explained his situation and the old man said, "Well,* g. I5 W; V: S: o
I don't really know of anything that will keep her occupied for weeks,
" Y+ `7 z% T$ C' I7 s1 y( E/ jexcept... ahhh... never mind."
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    "Except what?" the man asked.
- S1 j2 b* S  ]- H* \    "Nothing, nothing."; h8 ?2 c4 U: x, |5 S
    "C'mon, tell me!"
8 u; r% \9 e0 X9 [; H    "Well, there is VooDoo Dick."
# `' W# y7 n* L( \! G4 {3 X    "What's VooDoo Dick?" the man replied.3 ^, I  l9 t, |8 G0 L9 G
    "It can't be described" said the old man, "it can only be witnessed."* l# I; T" j# {& t% ?$ }
So the old man reached under the counter, and pulled out an old wooden box, ( {" c7 n" i8 t  G. C$ @9 Y
carved with strange symbols. He opened it, and there lay a very1 I; k9 C* D$ ~6 L! F
ordinary-looking black dildo.
7 Q8 G% _. U( P    The businessman laughed, and said, "That's it?"
# t7 Y9 e( c" F+ W! Z% a) K3 q7 r
6 r  C5 @% T( @  b- b) ^0 |& {0 w    The old man replied, "But you haven't seen what it'll do yet."  The old  S. a5 A/ d& v" [7 n
man pointed to a door across the room and said, "VooDoo Dick, the door."# s5 `& T) o, n3 H
VooDoo Dick rose out of its box, darted over to the door, and started
; h( N' s  M4 M% @screwing the keyhole.  The whole door shook with the vibrations, and a crack 6 q- o9 ~" [% M! d5 w
developed down the middle.  Before the door could break, the old man said,$ V2 V/ E; ]* N; ~# |
"VooDoo Dick, get back in your box!"   VooDoo dick stopped, floated back to
- a7 r( e) }) l  }the box and lay there, quiet once again.. S" x8 O% K& T9 g0 Q. O9 d1 u

# F, s2 R, s+ ]! m) ]$ q    "I'll take it!" said the businessman.  The old man resisted, saying it
6 c$ P0 u- |4 v. b) Owasn't for sale, but he finally surrendered to $1000 in cash.  The guy took. g" s4 }& `" w* o& {
it home to his wife, told her it was a special dildo and that to use it, all
4 }$ g; c# `1 A9 hshe had to do was say "VooDoo Dick, my pussy."  He left for his trip
0 V, w) {7 T  e  u8 z9 @satisfied that things would be fine while he was gone.' ~! P- M: L! I3 n( v9 F+ W  I
( M, C. ]. p3 c! _' ^& q; l! s
    After he'd been gone for a week, the wife was unbearably horny. She" Y# [# W$ o0 l% P+ q' h
thought of several people who would willingly satisfy her, but then she$ c' U  c7 }6 e6 f& C3 e4 R, O: E
remembered VooDoo Dick.  She got it out laid down on the bed and said,
4 W2 U+ _1 z7 K; n. C"VooDoo Dick, my pussy!"    The VooDoo Dick shot to her crotch.  It was
9 [. ~7 K6 j- I; _3 [$ ?5 Q! xgreat, like nothing she'd ever experienced before.  After three orgasms, she
; H# x6 `9 x. D$ W6 j& R5 gdecided she'd had enough, and tried to stop it, but she couldn't, her9 ]0 d+ B7 v8 w' O8 I7 E7 H
husband had forgot to tell her how to stop it!
# Z* W2 W. J6 J1 ^! W2 T4 U3 f3 p9 e: q" e) r; F8 `; s. i, N, F
    She decided to go to the hospital to see if they could help.  She tried
# _( U( e: `! f  C% i! r$ Oto get dressed as best as she could with a skirt and a top, but VooDoo Dick- D: |6 Y/ l; d% g" A
just wouldn't stop and she had yet another orgasm, weakening her knees.: B' _' l2 ]( F6 \% E2 u; d% D8 v
- e9 x6 |( Q8 C
    Finally she got her clothes on, made it to the car and started to drive
  d5 M, t" J( X7 `' n# D( ^) _/ A- E( cto the hospital.  On the way, another orgasm made her swerve into oncoming
( z0 t0 v0 D# z& ttraffic, then back to her side of the road, narrowly missing a car.  Next' O4 z) ]* X) n" p) W
thing she knew there was a police car behind her with it's blue lights
2 T5 I% Q6 U6 G/ a0 ?5 v( Cflashing. The police officer asked for her license, and wanted to know how3 e0 B* h& s, H! N9 A0 P6 y
much she'd had to drink.    Gasping and twitching, she explained that she' J$ Q3 h$ p) x4 x6 P8 {* Y2 O5 d' @
hadn't been drinking and tried to explain the problem of VooDoo Dick.
+ h& C9 k: \2 k) l) Y  M& Q# a& x: G# A0 S& k# a% V
    The officer looked at her for a second, and then said, "Yeah, right7 N3 Z' a0 f0 I) C9 u- C
lady, VooDoo Dick, my ass!"
理袁律师事务所
鲜花(151) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2010-11-19 13:20 | 显示全部楼层
pfft pfft
大型搬家
鲜花(75) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2010-11-19 15:36 | 显示全部楼层
I like how Shejing tells jokes from personal experiences
鲜花(12) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2010-11-20 16:52 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
笑了~顶~
鲜花(4) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2010-11-20 17:15 | 显示全部楼层
lol...
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2010-11-20 23:08 | 显示全部楼层
无语,楼主从哪里听来的这么多成人笑话?
鲜花(128) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2011-5-23 18:39 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
ding...
鲜花(1348) 鸡蛋(5)
发表于 2011-5-24 11:01 | 显示全部楼层
笑了
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2011-6-3 20:43 | 显示全部楼层
顶吧,憋不住也笑了
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2011-10-23 14:32 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
千斤顶
大型搬家
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