 鲜花( 634)  鸡蛋( 5)
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Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
" a% _- P2 @ [. ]2 s请注意，以下序号都是1不是误写# T; z+ j; c! d& V# N. V
) B) _. V( B O t4 w1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.9 f% O9 B7 E+ H: _
1，男人不是你肚子里的蛔虫4 j% }- |# q& K% k6 ~3 y
% ~. E5 G& s! r% a, y" n' Z1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it8 r9 J* u8 f+ r0 S' z( j
down.4 Y7 i0 C2 c# F) |( w( j
We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about : J6 K% ]* o, W2 E* b: H3 s9 S
you" S5 h0 @0 P+ L+ J: A
leaving it down.( r9 t. g' g/ a! g9 }/ _/ a; \& I# O
1，学会使用马桶盖，你是个大姑娘了，马桶盖要是翻起来了，你就放下去。我们需要盖子翻起来，你们需要放下去，你们什么时候听骨哦我们抱怨你们把马桶盖放下去？1 |4 B2 b' G, u9 W8 m
" }8 y+ }6 T/ X* A v5 X3 y. o1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
. S* s, l, D0 O6 S- nLet it be.
& c- E) m9 x7 A. P1，周日的体育，无论它像满月还是潮汐，随他去* |- B9 ?8 C) Y, X. {# H" D* ]
" y/ o1 ~' _/ o- v6 K0 ^7 `1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it$ q* H# d7 b Z7 v0 T
that way.
1 \( c. m5 a) [0 R( T* N1，购物不是体育。不，也别指望我们能那么想！; {* w8 u/ P. `% b& z& [" ~
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1. Crying is blackmail.' F P" y. k. t" G/ a( f
1，哭泣是敲诈
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) v. s; T: U+ l6 @# L8 O1. Ask for what you want.2 Q# a: f/ o/ w% v/ k$ }
Let us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!
# _% J& R# ^- U8 E, ^! }- [. RStrong hints do not work!' M5 q$ P( D# E2 z0 n
Obvious hints do not work!/ U d. C7 g l7 L5 q( d" l/ N- ?5 ~
Just say it!* q n* L+ }$ g1 ~
1，你想要什么就说! w; { X3 \& Z i& x! Q
我们再说得清楚点，小暗示不管用，强烈按时不管用，明显的暗示也不管用！想干吗你明说！
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, z/ q( i }* B6 g; [ e4 I1 W1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every
7 E& r4 B% X( ?. w: n2 Iquestion.: ~* x# Z$ O/ ^; V
1, yes 和no 是回答问题的绝好答案。 （意思是，丈夫仅仅说是，不是，妻子不满意）
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) q; V1 U% a+ _! `7 T1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's
. b. i2 f! p2 C: _& xwhat we do.
8 {" h1 U4 s/ g l( s/ n F+ oSympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
9 H. C7 x4 c# Y2 V3 s1，如果你有麻烦，可以来找我们帮助解决，可是不要仅仅为了获取同情，那是你们女朋友的责任。' {0 n8 r6 q5 j9 z2 K1 O, p
* F( F; E7 z/ u$ c J9 k' w1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor." q/ ^, n% ^* X' Y' M' ~
1，你要是头疼了17个月，那你应该看医生去
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1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
4 g" h) u3 E0 m- a4 r- M# ^In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.& Y. T! |: A; r$ F! U
我们6个月前说的话在争吵中不许再提及，事实上，我们说的话7天后就作废了 _( T U2 h0 C3 {0 [" R
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1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us
: [/ r& W: m( z& O2 `' Wto act like soap opera guys. p% ?( ]" @1 k$ c
1，如果你不能穿的像个维多利亚的秘密（性感品牌）的女孩子们，那么也别指望我们行为象肥皂剧里面的男明星们/ s; M4 R* N5 i7 K1 g8 c$ Q
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1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.3 [& j2 ?& `% F2 b0 {) ~) L
1，你要是觉得你胖，那你八成就胖，别问我们
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1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways4 _& W5 L) H+ T
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.5 ]5 \. V9 H/ @7 d
1 如果我们说的话可以被理解成两种意思，而其中一种意思令你们伤心或者愤怒，那么我们本来是另一种意思。
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（谁有工夫继续一下，谢谢）+ a" E: y# Y$ B+ B8 o
1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it
) }' w1 P8 S; p# h% u* l4 v- Sdone. Not both.- G0 e% T& M/ h4 F: d" b
If you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself.
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9 ^$ T# o8 p, `: W; P/ v8 s# `6 D1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during
" N* F [0 n; G( }0 f8 d jcommercials.
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1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
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$ c, }1 W2 l& ~5 ~: O: [7 q% E6 K& o1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.8 |3 d6 [( |5 K
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
/ [* @8 K7 C) B- D. |We have no idea what mauve is.
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1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.
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1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like7 v) o: M3 ~6 H& |$ g. g
nothing's wrong.
9 i$ a! v% x5 z2 B/ JWe know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.* C, l+ M R/ J3 T- U v
! X4 W$ i V$ ~7 V1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer
5 ?3 ]4 m! h( X1 ~. r, w3 R3 U+ Gyou don't want to hear.3 B2 W6 l' a9 x
! B2 }( p$ f5 A1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is
' P' E1 A2 S( A# \- nfine...Really.% C" m n5 f# Y5 N& w4 `8 N& f) X
" y& y% l3 o) [* v z+ x1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to* u* s f" G+ e4 L8 B# E4 f" D' U: a# t
discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.
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- G. T$ F+ D2 m. K8 I! k# R1. You have enough clothes.
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8 [, k% r/ n3 F, s1. You have too many shoes.) p/ r) w) _$ h. s! R4 g' ?
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1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!/ ~! N- q2 ~* U
# p4 P. d$ W( ~6 l8 A) e2 Q1. Thank you for reading this.
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9 m6 X7 B9 r( ?( g& y7 |. bYes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
5 \1 e% R3 ] MBut did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
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5 A |9 ]% S1 |2 ?( z+ APass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.
( I) {5 A: M+ S. MPass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2005-11-11 13:05
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发表于 2005-11-11 13:06
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发表于 2005-11-11 16:47
