 鲜花( 634)  鸡蛋( 5)
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Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!# }, B b9 u/ l) h" b# M: }) G( X
请注意，以下序号都是1不是误写' n- \. E8 Z, O! H# j
$ A, @3 S! @5 d* Q1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.
b3 z0 s* d# V3 @1，男人不是你肚子里的蛔虫
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6 c0 J: N: S @7 T! ?8 r1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
" B/ ?$ g, K6 c4 F7 Tdown.
! o( }/ `/ ?; x w% U2 qWe need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about
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; {4 m) E, Y0 Q7 aleaving it down.
" h6 f/ M- I7 q: Y8 k1，学会使用马桶盖，你是个大姑娘了，马桶盖要是翻起来了，你就放下去。我们需要盖子翻起来，你们需要放下去，你们什么时候听骨哦我们抱怨你们把马桶盖放下去？' E/ M, |% a3 W2 d" |
% q; d9 S+ k! m; a" H* l8 a+ Y1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
a" d* p. \4 T: Z7 eLet it be.& X% n& h& B2 ^# ^5 v
1，周日的体育，无论它像满月还是潮汐，随他去
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1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it
% |2 ~: `: O2 b$ h2 Nthat way.
7 U [ U3 G' z) G0 ]1，购物不是体育。不，也别指望我们能那么想！/ [' s6 j0 @0 e! L- x2 \" J" ]
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1. Crying is blackmail.
4 e( d, @8 ]5 z& e" Z0 @1，哭泣是敲诈0 y: m' K: }5 P5 M N
+ p6 ]0 ?% }* g" t1 W% k6 \, Z1. Ask for what you want.
8 g4 J+ B% I/ J; J( kLet us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!3 D5 u* I6 p. h: L- t7 x! w/ k4 m
Strong hints do not work!, K9 R$ x- d5 `
Obvious hints do not work!
5 i2 S% c1 B- U ]Just say it!
0 Y! `- v& B2 i/ |1，你想要什么就说
5 e% g5 g2 A2 ?% K- p2 G" O- H我们再说得清楚点，小暗示不管用，强烈按时不管用，明显的暗示也不管用！想干吗你明说！* S$ s6 E& Z$ e0 J" a! O
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1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every 1 O! j+ a: z: e: s' G0 C
question.
+ N+ f3 X% o$ r8 h9 ^5 d1, yes 和no 是回答问题的绝好答案。 （意思是，丈夫仅仅说是，不是，妻子不满意）
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' n V7 z* k# L. l- I1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's
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Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.4 w7 ]/ V' P3 V3 _8 e; \/ \! n
1，如果你有麻烦，可以来找我们帮助解决，可是不要仅仅为了获取同情，那是你们女朋友的责任。
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1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
# c. r" ^! r1 B, k$ X" a1，你要是头疼了17个月，那你应该看医生去
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- I: X, w. |- U# a1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
" P5 N1 P; n! \1 l/ c6 U# ]) TIn fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
$ h1 s8 p. F9 R3 s我们6个月前说的话在争吵中不许再提及，事实上，我们说的话7天后就作废了
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1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us
4 p2 G i1 u4 a8 Qto act like soap opera guys.
+ F3 ^7 A) |0 }2 o6 a4 I1，如果你不能穿的像个维多利亚的秘密（性感品牌）的女孩子们，那么也别指望我们行为象肥皂剧里面的男明星们
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1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. T9 `4 p: ?" y4 Y4 \) p
1，你要是觉得你胖，那你八成就胖，别问我们
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$ {- \* k: {! O1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways: ~& d# O, M" i: c) h( g5 c
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one./ {, r: X! M, E- r) G
1 如果我们说的话可以被理解成两种意思，而其中一种意思令你们伤心或者愤怒，那么我们本来是另一种意思。8 N( X7 t6 D$ _3 R* v0 I q/ u7 _
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（谁有工夫继续一下，谢谢）, }! O& s9 j* y' P& ]1 H3 h) {
1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it
" E2 U9 W5 t2 {! ~5 T! t: j1 Odone. Not both.
, q, b# [: Y# F0 w1 jIf you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself.1 K U& m: L2 M7 `( P- I
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1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during
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- D* S. Z+ u, x6 B$ E" _1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.. i/ R( e4 A, P9 _& ]
% W( K5 q9 R: X/ n" Y; ]" H1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.8 p! y" y7 W# I3 e" t- x
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
& D) O2 |& q0 L/ z: zWe have no idea what mauve is.
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1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.
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1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like
# P! M, q U9 p# f% \+ [$ p4 n, Enothing's wrong., B |2 j* f9 k) E" g+ b2 x
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. M7 x/ s' K7 R0 |& i9 T& z% ?
* q/ o; D" W5 G$ O1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer
2 g! ~9 @& D# J W( P- s% `, d0 Zyou don't want to hear.
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1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is0 X, k% O6 H1 ?: t- T+ h/ a: E
fine...Really.: L0 g+ [' V: Q- O- v3 {5 G+ y
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1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
' F2 M/ Y- |6 e3 K3 E0 I% rdiscuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.4 D& R) N5 c2 U- p& C7 Q, H
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1. You have enough clothes.: n9 Z( H8 L# X- f9 u* t
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1. You have too many shoes./ h! y. A8 [5 c/ S! x
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1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!" X$ H- L2 J+ J+ i% s
( b' N9 ^7 u4 I8 j6 Q3 K) I6 J1. Thank you for reading this.
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Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
7 q% _1 ]* Y/ x7 \8 n: ^But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
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Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.
6 X' D8 J2 D9 l. n$ }Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2005-11-11 13:05
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发表于 2005-11-11 13:06
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发表于 2005-11-11 16:47
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