 鲜花( 634)  鸡蛋( 5)
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Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!, k' L* w* h( F' J9 _0 a4 @
请注意，以下序号都是1不是误写( H! p2 W+ }, C- u6 }" A- M8 @2 W
* `; g# ^9 w9 L1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.; X9 A6 P8 `. c3 v. D
1，男人不是你肚子里的蛔虫: S- H0 K0 f! } h
; K$ Z$ t" i1 X- \7 o1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
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We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about % [, t: H3 {: E
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leaving it down.
+ k# S3 T" i5 j3 X1，学会使用马桶盖，你是个大姑娘了，马桶盖要是翻起来了，你就放下去。我们需要盖子翻起来，你们需要放下去，你们什么时候听骨哦我们抱怨你们把马桶盖放下去？
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' m2 t& ]* ~# O' v6 l/ K1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
8 ~! q' \9 n/ n) \" E+ w; eLet it be.
* O6 ]8 z4 A/ K: T7 S1，周日的体育，无论它像满月还是潮汐，随他去4 D+ h- a$ W1 P- C+ w" c
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1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it: B: l6 C! ?7 c
that way.
& W9 r9 n- e: [. f1，购物不是体育。不，也别指望我们能那么想！
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1. Crying is blackmail.# _- @* T* R R4 D
1，哭泣是敲诈
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1. Ask for what you want.6 K5 `% [3 `3 ], z: ?
Let us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!) B- J8 f0 g& r- A4 [
Strong hints do not work!
: g; m4 ?9 a0 pObvious hints do not work!
- |) ]- U9 y8 f# S! r: }Just say it!3 ?6 J0 d4 K1 V0 L
1，你想要什么就说
, i5 s0 S# D, o' j/ y: s我们再说得清楚点，小暗示不管用，强烈按时不管用，明显的暗示也不管用！想干吗你明说！$ W3 x, Y8 S7 o; }7 x& _4 U; m
3 w4 c8 h; S( w, F7 j9 G4 @1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every % y6 G# O% \$ m6 ]" l' |
question.
. O. V G( c3 u) }& ?% v1, yes 和no 是回答问题的绝好答案。 （意思是，丈夫仅仅说是，不是，妻子不满意）
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1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's" C: q: M [. M \
what we do.
4 T5 R V+ C1 M1 ^; P& {. uSympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
: B2 r+ S& Y. d. q |: i1，如果你有麻烦，可以来找我们帮助解决，可是不要仅仅为了获取同情，那是你们女朋友的责任。
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4 s6 V6 ~+ t) W! K' M1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
' \, U P# U; Y% X' U( z1，你要是头疼了17个月，那你应该看医生去+ A( V/ E& R9 s7 B
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1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.3 \. f3 S% x% H" v/ y( V
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.: t! l- c$ n$ n
我们6个月前说的话在争吵中不许再提及，事实上，我们说的话7天后就作废了
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1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us$ c- _ S7 k; a+ w6 R. x
to act like soap opera guys.
# s g7 k% j+ P. R1，如果你不能穿的像个维多利亚的秘密（性感品牌）的女孩子们，那么也别指望我们行为象肥皂剧里面的男明星们
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F6 J" ^. h, {4 T3 v1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
* Q& \8 \: g, H5 y4 s4 R0 y: t1，你要是觉得你胖，那你八成就胖，别问我们
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$ v! W- U2 q% u: @1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways
4 J' H4 U* H$ i/ J) Q& |% F7 f4 pmakes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.) e o( t0 |$ c1 y9 T
1 如果我们说的话可以被理解成两种意思，而其中一种意思令你们伤心或者愤怒，那么我们本来是另一种意思。
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9 R) h7 i5 r; D（谁有工夫继续一下，谢谢）
4 T/ h* d9 @) q6 y$ u% x1 {5 d6 Q+ a1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it Z8 Q5 Q# _ V; X( o: D" t* |
done. Not both.4 g( x3 p* ]3 V# M% W" Z8 i
If you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself.. d, {$ {+ o# X' {4 E" \$ K, x2 z
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1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during
: ?8 I/ g/ k) U* `commercials.
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1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.. Q- o2 M" _7 q0 s
; J% U* X" _$ q1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
% ?5 U8 p3 _$ M; `" L1 }% GPeach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
) u8 ~0 T8 d2 T! g0 s; K( G# e4 e" yWe have no idea what mauve is.
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! m. Y) E# d/ J6 A# F/ q1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.
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% d: M& c L- l& x1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like0 [$ \" C7 i& A' _
nothing's wrong.
. `& H2 S% z5 l, Z1 `4 D. T9 RWe know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.% y5 M8 ?2 ~0 [& B/ ^; Q! G
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1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer
+ ?3 L8 Z# h+ _: qyou don't want to hear.
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1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is2 h$ P3 F, W3 F- q" o$ M6 g
fine...Really.
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4 H7 a5 M6 s/ R/ T* z, ^1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to0 w3 P }* I) G; P; ~
discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.* s: k/ m) ?8 p3 M9 a# C% [
; ^0 ~, @/ l+ d+ i. o8 ^& j1. You have enough clothes.
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1. You have too many shoes.' d+ s( N0 j4 b! G
+ L3 w1 p4 u$ i! t4 z5 C3 S1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
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1. Thank you for reading this.2 m8 n" }" O( N g( I
9 N9 j' N( [$ e2 KYes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
9 F2 t% ?& q0 L FBut did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
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9 F, p ~" ]7 L; \% s3 F6 qPass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.
- p/ c6 k- T* W; i5 jPass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2005-11-11 13:05
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发表于 2005-11-11 13:06
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发表于 2005-11-11 16:47
