 鲜花( 634)  鸡蛋( 5)
|
Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
' Y4 l$ D. m8 \请注意，以下序号都是1不是误写# j# Z4 m3 W1 Q3 l' d8 z
8 p1 J" D8 b1 Z1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.# B+ }0 e( F' U8 s! k0 U
1，男人不是你肚子里的蛔虫0 J) X0 p9 V; u9 E
" @% ~# X+ I6 @$ ~7 ^6 h9 P1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it+ X( o1 S5 X$ h& H
down.- J( ~5 v+ L, U* Z% \$ h
We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about
5 e5 K; d6 Z5 iyou
) d. j5 m/ h7 }- ~1 `( g P& |leaving it down.4 ]9 w3 ~; X. m
1，学会使用马桶盖，你是个大姑娘了，马桶盖要是翻起来了，你就放下去。我们需要盖子翻起来，你们需要放下去，你们什么时候听骨哦我们抱怨你们把马桶盖放下去？+ F" a5 R* ?3 L. H
/ F- v) L; a& e, ?' ]
1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.' k! B: v/ Y3 Q& H& n) h/ ^
Let it be.
. h l' \) w; _ |0 n: y& M' h: c1，周日的体育，无论它像满月还是潮汐，随他去0 Q% C6 D; W6 H( ?$ ~( _1 ]) F6 D) w
. K5 W3 E- `' w/ L1 d
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it% s9 H0 C# S, w; b& X
that way.
+ j6 D0 ~+ f! _2 E- S1，购物不是体育。不，也别指望我们能那么想！* v3 s1 V6 ~4 w# o* J5 M: `+ v
- B8 ^& B) }+ ^: p0 f
1. Crying is blackmail.
5 W5 w; Q' R& d! W1 T1，哭泣是敲诈* |7 Q; s. L8 @+ o( z2 Q! }2 K8 w
* q9 Z% ^8 c7 y0 i5 I4 k1. Ask for what you want.5 V4 D: R. g0 u0 {5 q, N% B
Let us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!# @) e( O# B f$ y3 `5 `3 `+ d
Strong hints do not work!
4 V* n' z9 l& M! G9 Z5 N9 ?$ i, lObvious hints do not work!6 z) r6 \4 U: {: f2 ^+ m
Just say it!8 Q0 u/ h& E& \3 G
1，你想要什么就说
) Q# ^ v* X, c. \4 ^我们再说得清楚点，小暗示不管用，强烈按时不管用，明显的暗示也不管用！想干吗你明说！& [( t0 [2 F, q
8 M7 j1 u' ]8 `$ S
1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every " E" P! \7 M, `) \4 C( R d+ z
question.2 n. [. ? V/ f, P* P
1, yes 和no 是回答问题的绝好答案。 （意思是，丈夫仅仅说是，不是，妻子不满意）) x( s* n! G, }. S2 k* P5 S
+ \4 P: ^2 Q% a1 u& ]$ J) `$ }
1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's, C9 r- b- [4 d
what we do.
z& W7 I) D) ]- F4 \' i$ }* uSympathy is what your girlfriends are for.! S% I$ g. ] o Q+ z
1，如果你有麻烦，可以来找我们帮助解决，可是不要仅仅为了获取同情，那是你们女朋友的责任。
' k4 K/ e6 [" _8 V; b3 k0 Q, P) Q
; a# T4 x7 G) o% F6 V% A1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.) U1 i- c. s* r$ _( n
1，你要是头疼了17个月，那你应该看医生去) \- L; o! W8 U- d* z
& {) O3 Z9 _7 f" J
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.. c. u8 G/ @& B% [# W! {
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
" y( t8 G- F$ \" W( D; G我们6个月前说的话在争吵中不许再提及，事实上，我们说的话7天后就作废了
/ M9 A/ E& Z+ b3 b+ I8 |# H- E4 ^
8 u% D* g: j( y1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us
' U* o; \: q1 M& ~* z) Ato act like soap opera guys.& j1 n7 k& I$ U, c$ U0 G: h) f# ]9 c
1，如果你不能穿的像个维多利亚的秘密（性感品牌）的女孩子们，那么也别指望我们行为象肥皂剧里面的男明星们# g& [# I( \; K+ d/ M( d
" z; t2 p. f# h& w9 V, ]1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
) l6 F8 |8 p, q0 z2 G1，你要是觉得你胖，那你八成就胖，别问我们$ l8 s$ e7 F% j& K" ?
+ G4 i! T8 v) A# Q# q1 P" N) u
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways
8 Y7 Z) P& f4 D8 L' S, L5 gmakes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
7 @; t. R* l( ?( L& @8 B1 如果我们说的话可以被理解成两种意思，而其中一种意思令你们伤心或者愤怒，那么我们本来是另一种意思。
. X% C& t; F3 M! J* J9 \" U! w x2 F6 j
（谁有工夫继续一下，谢谢）+ |; }, d7 u8 k" J+ `( i
1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it: k$ _+ Q! a7 Q: o5 K1 C5 R
done. Not both.
* c( P7 `$ _% \7 j* h. uIf you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself.4 U# O( C/ Z% N# l- n
2 X- A' v' e5 i: L5 z" x6 v1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during( N: Z9 ? T/ v1 d
commercials.' T( ^$ ]9 p5 s; Z% @- W
3 n1 c) O7 E% p. n5 V4 F- U1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
3 I* j1 }2 S( n$ {$ i& j: K% ?, F! y0 F5 b. H6 A
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
* \6 T! L9 k' t# i$ hPeach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
. f+ Z: M5 q% c0 S, d' LWe have no idea what mauve is.8 f1 P% R+ k# Z5 A+ H
( s$ Z, h7 ?5 j- T* r. f/ z1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.
; L/ q3 t! [% |6 F7 X
9 X n) H* c( F# T% j1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like# C0 l6 ?, Y' `7 {" D. c
nothing's wrong.
5 G& C4 J1 A: u& i* oWe know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle., W" a/ k+ S' P' l$ d
) _2 r( T( Z5 O9 @1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer5 ~1 s* ?0 N- h: `4 r
you don't want to hear.& o/ y* w* k3 D. r# a/ y) \+ Y* Q: I
* K) k- O0 C1 \9 Q. J7 d3 h( ?1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is- N5 g6 A3 i* C J
fine...Really.
, k3 i6 Z: [: w: j( |2 {# g7 v
r/ Y8 e0 }0 k1 k4 E% C1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
$ F* X$ Z! A* S5 F/ L/ g0 bdiscuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.& T% F; F% R( `/ ?! Q% E
9 N) O1 F: {; ~$ [' i$ S* R6 j- ~$ f
1. You have enough clothes.$ P+ }% F2 j0 `0 T' s
1 _# G# Z9 Z0 X" x* M0 w1. You have too many shoes. D2 J! j! Y8 _) N: ~$ v# |# z
2 N0 c; Y) p0 {# O. a) b) _1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
, j- R5 s2 i' V/ h* @0 l# C2 Z8 c* ]! ^! S2 u+ C
1. Thank you for reading this.
) i; o6 n( b5 R) Y, N( E
- `; ~) K& [+ `6 [* S. j, gYes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;* ^7 \+ {1 V4 I" e7 F7 [
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.3 x8 j7 Q5 C' _; p' K' L% L
* ~4 w+ T% B ?6 k# R
Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.) q% X5 F3 W, ]$ @+ {: [
Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh |
|
狗仔卡
发表于 2005-11-11 13:05
提升卡
置顶卡
沉默卡
喧嚣卡
变色卡
显身卡
发表于 2005-11-11 13:06
楼主
发表于 2005-11-11 16:47
7 c4 ]; O/ O8 j, r