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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON:
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: 'ED-MIN-TIN'.
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2 F, M% m* A4 Y) O+ Q$ t/ }( {& w2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 a.m. to noon. The evening rush$ r0 h, ^9 ^( m$ ` g7 L
hour is from noon to 8:00 p.m. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday
. t- V* K: \2 u- j4 c. umorning.
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/ M( T5 G! o& Y3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph. On the QE2,/ V! `: x# q3 l' Q( g) d8 U
you are expected to match the speed of the airplanes coming in for a% `/ U$ O) ~4 L
landing at the airport. Anything less is considered 'Wussy'.; P( B0 ]. S' W1 u) u! {& r
! C. I+ b$ M% s, k1 J4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
; ^. m7 Y- z4 pown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest/ ~7 c* i2 E: p( Q' j' v v
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
! X" [ c( d9 igo second. However, in Southwest Edmonton, SUV-driving, cell
) x D: E3 [. W( Q7 y1 V# o7 D: _phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.9 z8 q. \1 Y: \% X/ t
' U3 O' K6 C8 \& q8 S# g9 g+ a5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended, P( W6 X- q7 S# {2 `* q
cussed out, and possibly shot.( m$ Z# g. h B$ k4 L3 H
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6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can
: _5 p/ J- A! R$ _0 U; }) l% H% L( Bget you shot.
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7. Exception to Rule #6: If you are the 4th car back from a light that ~: m6 l- D; T& M d% f& W
has turned green, you must honk your horn to alert the vehicle first at
; ` W6 s* y9 c2 p7 \* ~5 w# gthe intersection that the light has changed. Vehicle 2 & 3 won't shoot
. c1 v, X: O& ^ S. `9 W0 R9 J* `3 oyou as they are too busy trying to figure out how to ram the first
5 P8 t8 @$ F% k+ |8 h @vehicle through the intersection.& a" l) u5 m* E o# T) d
2 m" q6 W9 }+ e* D: v! ^8. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton. Detour* G3 g' @1 c: S
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next* w2 _0 ~9 Q# A1 K& ?! Z0 G( i
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and6 |4 D* G6 m# H% Q
more construction starts everyday.7 N1 P( s" R7 n) K, t# d
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9. Watch carefully for road hazards such as skunks, dogs, cats, f" M2 c+ n9 K7 {
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,' x5 q0 s1 _& p8 B% m& C
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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10. Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are the same
3 i6 ^! T% B7 xroad. In the same manner, Whyte Avenue, Sherwood Park Freeway and Wye9 [% R# N! U4 K8 o& f' k1 g
Road are the same road; Wayne Gretzky Drive, 75 Street and" k8 y' ]1 I9 E
66 Street are also the same road; got it?
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11. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
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Activated.'
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: `' @- u, ~- t. j12. If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km zone,+ r6 }$ W |1 B0 n. d* X' \' I) Z3 n; T
you are considered a road hazard and will be 'flipped off'
+ S4 g4 T3 v1 Vaccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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13. For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
# h5 M; i8 b e5 V' d! Plined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and" q" V. G, R8 \9 r" S9 b
blankets in the vehicle. |
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发表于 2010-2-16 12:01
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发表于 2010-2-16 22:55
