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The Washington Post publishes a yearly contest in which readers are asked to invent alternate meanings for various words.
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The following were some of this year’s winning entries: ) b2 Y" X% s3 o+ l
- z1 ~% g7 w( u. M1. Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon. E8 f% _" o0 L' M
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2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have . {9 X2 _: A1 [! T' G# a5 U3 j9 `
6 W' X! w: _4 X& b$ h( M) E4 C' B3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
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4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk. % c5 Y/ q# z$ ]( B! a# o
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5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent 5 n8 j( r, ]5 r- S( ^
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6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightie. * L9 J7 \# h G% N: E, \; x( a
( I& p' w& }. I$ v1 {" |7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.
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) k/ {+ x0 Q' j8. Gargoyle (n.), an olive-flavoured mouthwash. ; h' j# E. r; L# N; J' M+ e2 ~ L
, |, A2 {* Z# p8 m3 }# X7 z& z1 h3 l9. Flatulence (n.) the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.
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10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline. - k, Z g8 C/ f- l9 D
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11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.
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- p1 Q/ n0 Y, m1 L12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified demeanour assumed by a proctologist immediately before he examines you. 0 h: k' O6 Z- w+ X* a: m
+ q; g; t' P4 H! e13. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish expressions.
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14. Circumvent (n.), the opening in the front of boxer shorts. 8 e% z! L9 B, c4 x$ P
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15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), The belief that, when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck there. / w& z- b8 W. n
9 c6 b) m; @$ L% F9 {( D16. Pokemon (n.), A Jamaican proctologist. |
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