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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
# n- H E8 x: ?0 lbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
: l" U& |, v$ V' ~* S* Zthe other possibility.
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
2 ^- Y2 [- D p0 }spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
0 B0 T* e! V4 S; Y* A/ W8 G, Kplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
" V3 u2 K b( S2 I7 g8 Cthe sivil servants jump with joy.
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
" S8 Y$ v8 l; tkonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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: y2 {+ m% M7 d! E* TThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
5 | e! b2 X& r5 S5 H( Dtroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like0 _- s D* T; H. `7 D. x- r0 ]: [9 Y, c
fotograf 20% shorter.7 h8 {) [' L. R$ o& E! R
- Z6 h* z" b/ E, Q- rIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to" O) z$ a Q1 e Y
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.9 P/ [9 E3 [) [: N
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always% p; f0 _" m+ R& f; f1 s
ben a deterent to akurate speling.% d. _) l; Y8 V$ z. F. Y# M, O! f
# G( d5 G b# m2 e2 k, Q8 T) {# IAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is0 m4 w$ |& i- e( D3 b0 a8 e
disgrasful and it should go away.& e9 ]$ \1 A e# O6 Q
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with. h7 }' y4 D, L' p& _" r; L
"z" and "w" with "v"." w- k" [ } Y H) R k" M
7 }2 T P9 z: x% cDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and! B# d4 h9 C: f
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.( ?9 D& @2 C: i; P3 V% G
* G& y; Y3 r: \, A- v4 cZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu: f/ Z- X7 ]! r+ g* ?
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
1 W# k0 B( M$ ~% X V2 TUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
/ L: K. x6 J8 ^4 o* e0 I' \1 jforst plas.
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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