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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
8 w+ y& f) d9 y+ j% ]& |& O6 ?be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was# T% b' V5 U: a1 {5 K. u
the other possibility.' E2 ^0 V3 t1 P5 y
$ W2 w \; g% }3 d) M. w0 r! s% J* GAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
3 {' |4 ]$ q1 M+ K6 `& r T. uspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in+ f! g( P. n% {6 o
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".( H- D/ M' u. N
* @8 F" }& ~- |$ Q+ j+ KIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make$ l# P1 I& U, p8 l1 d
the sivil servants jump with joy.
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up9 L4 ~5 i) y k- m6 d! h
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.+ k6 W% B3 r. H
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
! v6 a: ?3 @0 }- g+ Wtroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like, O' G5 V% Q. M0 z
fotograf 20% shorter.
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, e7 \6 d# @+ ^) r% i- R: v vIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
; f8 D2 ~" u; {/ r- Z3 treach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.8 j5 t, y( j8 u- V- h- N3 J" }
4 N5 W$ x4 w$ @' B" g- s# W3 FGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always3 ~% T3 |/ V' w, Z, i9 d
ben a deterent to akurate speling.
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
) T1 F! L) a" X" R3 |disgrasful and it should go away.3 o( D a$ {& \: I2 h
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with3 @: k6 M3 g! {8 D6 u9 t& e9 B/ r
"z" and "w" with "v".5 W `- v! J( c/ U1 Q4 B
& R! W3 A5 ?5 y8 P1 BDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and8 y* u/ K. O% H- T& W4 I* ]" T
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.8 g* v, d$ P: ~" @2 t) {
. w, s/ X5 c( x+ m. I; t U9 h; O4 `Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
* k2 o3 e x, M2 D5 G7 cunderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.# ~& J% G: G2 m
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze# j- h% j% K; `3 r) ^: w- L
forst plas.1 _% [/ w- F1 C4 l! |
( W5 G6 E4 U' J1 a4 V& e. {# A ~If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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