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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
]# H2 \; d6 x# H1 P0 Z' C6 _be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
! h/ {; D' s# `7 F0 R# Ythe other possibility.
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English2 U6 ^- \8 H7 t2 K5 l& u
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
1 K( h7 v: `$ ~* Iplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".& L" [# e9 I/ v9 ]8 h; H! ?
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make+ J( O% ^% Y# k3 T6 m8 V1 s! A8 u2 D
the sivil servants jump with joy.3 |6 J- \( J4 Q7 U0 \$ m
& \! N [1 d. b- @' V! GThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
# o; }" `* r$ D2 ]' O& mkonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
5 }6 p) e' w- c2 k l! otroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
# \8 m4 _& ~# R$ y7 D7 pfotograf 20% shorter.! k6 u* G* [- G* z, m% e k
v" B9 u M0 f/ Z! n9 vIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
# w& X* C- ?4 d# t% H6 q/ x: z2 d6 Freach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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1 O8 u- U$ b. }Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
2 b2 W2 O/ `. N% {$ Uben a deterent to akurate speling.
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is4 ]9 {0 f; `2 s; D5 [1 u
disgrasful and it should go away.
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
+ B" J2 Y/ s4 F6 d7 N"z" and "w" with "v".# o( j, r9 m7 }
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
4 ~. C! `* o/ o* h& O& h1 `after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.; A2 [7 F) w. Q( X, L( m- Z
) E/ ^: }+ M ^9 Y; X) qZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
' ]! q9 _$ U2 j0 Y" K7 A1 Y; `understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
! M' O/ ]- r7 i" ]' S T$ U! uUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
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$ O0 D; ]; `. _# YIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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