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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
9 g6 Z: a& |: q4 {7 Nbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was0 e, P( M) @" N& K0 X' [
the other possibility.2 {* u& M- s% [- f
, P! z$ t( B- b& w4 H% \As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English [' @% I0 {& p; u: K
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in! s, Y' g6 g) D: k
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".$ ^% o% Q0 u4 T) M5 T% G2 N
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
* G% k! m, i3 m1 Y" M6 @the sivil servants jump with joy.$ j, T. Q, d* [: K
P# s) x* _+ P+ P$ P% K4 SThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up$ U+ j* J" r! ?: i% ~! \9 d
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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5 @4 g1 |9 B. S$ j, KThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
; h- c& [) r! Y ^+ C7 [troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
3 z2 Q5 \3 d7 y& f( Lfotograf 20% shorter.
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" H) c1 h1 ?! `* H: D$ iIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to5 u5 o* I) K+ C% M
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.7 ^* O$ ~1 Z- t1 W! {
( i* q8 U9 I) O- b7 }1 \Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
: w. R j) Z8 y5 Iben a deterent to akurate speling.
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is; S7 ]. J- F. M/ U1 ~! x) `
disgrasful and it should go away.
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" W5 `) F+ r8 ?5 E; p& s) `/ YBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with8 h9 g0 Z, R5 t- J3 P1 p- l
"z" and "w" with "v".0 U. k5 Y) k. w) W, H
" Y5 h& o+ ~( D4 n) aDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
& r; i6 M& K+ T5 _. safter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu* ^0 h d3 E* G+ i
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.. h; I8 A- G' O( f6 l' C5 U2 y1 t
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze! R4 h' z; I+ m( ~8 S2 B }( N
forst plas.3 @; O: R/ O* a! U8 c& V; S
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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