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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will, B1 _, G% z) ~: z, B" ?/ w
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
+ Z3 B' f* k! [3 s Dthe other possibility.7 g R. R+ |6 E" E9 i
" m% {+ O0 r4 z$ `! J' x; r3 B ~3 CAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English' H, I% \& F4 f; ~% A# ]
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in. O6 q5 K' T1 H/ @. A
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".! l; s7 C+ i$ W+ F- E
3 ^) y0 g7 s2 I$ K+ W5 |In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
/ ]* A/ ]& N& k& qthe sivil servants jump with joy.8 j* g# N/ o( G3 K! `
+ ~# \) F- A1 sThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up) i" H$ W' }* b+ M
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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9 `4 y8 I6 {& i9 A* b" b( FThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
: b1 [5 A# K; w# l3 ]+ I ~troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like0 Q$ e' Z; Z3 Z& W; j& I
fotograf 20% shorter.) f* _! U3 q3 ^ T0 c7 }
9 q0 j3 w; \5 _3 n1 ~8 H6 [9 p( ZIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
$ c$ }5 k" v& \) dreach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always2 R0 p+ w L' `0 c1 D1 {: k
ben a deterent to akurate speling.2 r* ^3 @3 G. U: h4 ?4 l0 N# O5 C
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
" [7 ]# E3 {7 c4 Wdisgrasful and it should go away.
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with _9 ?9 c! X2 U; p
"z" and "w" with "v".
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
1 C! a: {* L) T4 t" I& _+ wafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu, S/ l1 ~# F& f* u
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
; {+ n3 g5 r IUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze) [* ^/ l) m2 Y7 e# j5 X- q9 X* w
forst plas.6 x6 h& J7 j8 X$ M; [8 ^; m$ Q
& y7 X5 v2 E2 k6 M) i) tIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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