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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
- R& L. U) I4 d" B% {, C% b8 S- Ybe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was w$ ~9 u2 p' s3 Y& C {
the other possibility.
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# B& ^! Y0 k/ y0 D8 X. Z/ M$ X, [; z! [0 WAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
, a* c7 Z5 c2 D1 d9 Pspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
# x' E- Q( W8 y8 Z+ t' Yplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".+ z+ p6 F4 U! o2 v% A6 R7 y% @0 p
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
& o( P1 d- @( tthe sivil servants jump with joy.
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3 a. W) H1 ] iThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
2 {, v: i9 ]* W9 ] dkonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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& y k6 C' z4 ^3 X L0 f4 `: mThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
: d) ?& h/ a N6 A& rtroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
/ e- R: E9 q$ P: ?$ n! w2 rfotograf 20% shorter. S" C- n. k4 W& a: }% S! `1 T
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to1 @! [0 T3 v; `4 u3 M
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always4 F | N' F. |0 ?+ ?& B: r+ ?
ben a deterent to akurate speling.
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+ {' g- |5 P2 J% E9 J* R( r; a& B% hAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is, t$ H& D2 j6 H! K5 `2 C7 L6 p
disgrasful and it should go away.
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( q2 Y" S" j! T9 L UBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with, o- B; y" @, B0 r; R7 A( `
"z" and "w" with "v".
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and$ {, }( b5 Z) u$ F8 d& s
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.$ g8 h, P5 V& j/ \) K8 s2 S
$ L3 P( V1 |3 z+ o# X0 u6 NZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu" Z' H9 ~4 e O5 c: k8 P
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
- l( a; E# B: m1 o1 y# qUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
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. f0 M/ x! F" s3 Z4 a6 C, b& bIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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