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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
* j, H3 e# U# z! Ibe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
6 H6 A X# R/ t; zthe other possibility.8 ~8 @# p5 a$ x6 t6 \+ ~
; h6 P3 x! C6 ?0 m( LAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English ]) Q3 d/ K( ~: g; |" @
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
; _0 e; Q: U; k- G( l: q+ h* Y( Z0 X2 @plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".2 n. c% P7 ]' o
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
/ |: C" Q3 c- y6 |the sivil servants jump with joy.
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up1 |# `/ H& W6 Y* C- A! o# V( i' P3 q
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.- d9 r! ?& ?: z% r+ e. c% L2 g
# E' M: L0 N: |% }9 S" S/ ^6 ^3 z9 I5 Y/ D5 B/ D; f7 ~
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
9 S4 ^3 v" N! r Z/ Qtroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
+ B) |& Q3 ?$ `4 g$ A2 pfotograf 20% shorter.- v! m. N2 G0 B: F6 t7 u P+ S
& `$ o; F5 q9 C
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
2 e$ t" u6 _; ~5 Y8 ~+ yreach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
% H7 O" l* `4 ~8 Q. Bben a deterent to akurate speling.9 h, h: T3 G/ o3 y
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
% P2 S) a3 w) Qdisgrasful and it should go away.* l9 r+ i3 E. n& M+ Y
* [: P) }( P, i6 c% H5 R) mBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
$ f: ^6 k1 F' }5 X"z" and "w" with "v".! B' x, i5 [* b- |) }
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
3 ^: x9 y- \' ~8 M, _9 vafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
$ ~) }1 M, w( |4 | Xunderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
' f3 j: D$ z- d/ F' VUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
9 |+ l; N7 g3 I! Pforst plas.% w9 v# D$ n& C9 b
$ u5 a. j* M1 ]3 V+ RIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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