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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
. C9 k. A' O+ f9 _. q# `be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was- p6 ]: i' ?) ]/ j! v+ S7 z
the other possibility.' b8 m' ]. Y9 G3 S* c6 E( A* @3 H
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English3 a3 s+ t6 V+ v
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in6 j1 g" K) {+ K2 e! ?2 ~% e) g
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".% @2 l) C" K2 k5 y! A0 V; D3 d
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
5 v Z$ j8 d8 M. U1 D2 u" cthe sivil servants jump with joy.
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5 f$ p/ F4 b6 s. F) c+ M8 \; xThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
* ] f* P2 D* V* t+ q6 \- h+ J$ z+ M/ qkonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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" E7 p' {' S3 j* ^; u9 CThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the+ i) Q9 c5 ^! x# M) t- [
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like5 J& W' \" O; F% h$ B# n/ T& H
fotograf 20% shorter.
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to" U& w) D6 ~% f6 v: f S8 a
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
" ?4 `. y: L9 q. e$ u/ |) {ben a deterent to akurate speling.
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is% g9 d+ E* t+ r* j- h/ H5 U
disgrasful and it should go away.
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with9 Z2 ~5 u% n3 o( z# x
"z" and "w" with "v".; D4 a! Z) X! K5 O. B7 o. N
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and2 F9 o& j) |% k2 w: H
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.& d! ^7 U5 l2 B: H
/ u4 O! | I3 w4 x! uZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu( l" f/ B& V# v; [* b% G
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.( }+ \" m) g' ]# j+ j* |
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
1 h+ N; Q4 J; @+ ~/ k% wforst plas.
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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