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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will2 K, ]) z; N) Z3 A/ J4 M* X
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was3 U' J% }7 S& _" Y2 l; f6 x' h% C
the other possibility.
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: P: @4 _# |1 `# EAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English; g9 x' s; u3 Y' q9 o. f- u
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in# c( U5 T# y% c9 B
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".5 I& h. p. \% h$ b6 i1 F% L% a
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make( z0 `5 v1 h! \6 u
the sivil servants jump with joy.
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
. {3 v5 p6 z' Z$ [; H4 b* h5 Ykonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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) W9 \3 R- P* G, QThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the7 k b% X) e2 n
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
% }% W* b# k" {' i& y4 ~5 ~2 c1 Zfotograf 20% shorter.
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
; s" n5 w, d7 ?! w0 s8 z( |reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.' `4 j4 v+ h, i3 H
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
1 r( l# u6 E& F( I; K8 aben a deterent to akurate speling.4 ?1 \; z8 D5 D$ }, M
* _( F7 e7 N) |2 t* a# j1 D$ tAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is- S' t( A: W/ X7 g1 M. U& j
disgrasful and it should go away.+ T$ \0 j) v! `" t# g2 N
; C; _. r# x5 _By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with; ~7 F- S2 J* K
"z" and "w" with "v".
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
- ~3 B$ r: T/ x" S i8 }2 Zafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl./ i3 W1 F; ~ [" C" f
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
% q7 B' g# d$ h& wunderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
; R# B6 m0 F9 {. k4 cUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
3 x$ l/ W' D2 Q/ l& q$ dforst plas.7 c8 S. _( {, @& t+ \
+ t h; X# ~( C9 C' v1 k% XIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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