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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
8 m+ a3 n" u6 [4 l2 D9 mbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
3 J/ ^7 R# e, f$ ^/ wthe other possibility.
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. S% Z0 @5 s# Q! ^4 _As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
! s8 a6 H: g! ] e0 |% w4 Yspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
) Y6 ^6 \- M9 l1 t* t5 nplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make" \% ^. q! k4 q- b" v7 }$ U2 B
the sivil servants jump with joy.5 }( [9 _$ W0 q, N2 Y" w! _
9 s+ J+ M) x9 ^# ?) \1 bThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up* C, f& }' L' z8 l& r2 R+ l& n
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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0 J. Y& k5 D) w) }4 B7 lThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
2 A: k# _" a$ ?; W7 d) ztroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like4 }9 t& m* o* s* k$ h* q4 Q
fotograf 20% shorter.6 _: }, j: Z7 \) L
- ?0 [7 k: o9 m" R! {4 g1 e% FIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to$ h. x4 L% R1 E' E( i- Z% L
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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$ \) \+ e& h+ C/ Y4 G$ JGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always% r& d8 D/ G* M, F7 ?3 }* i
ben a deterent to akurate speling.
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% v! S; \+ t! s( W: g# ~Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
0 f5 ]7 H& B9 \& Gdisgrasful and it should go away." s+ X* x0 U1 Q7 ?/ g
. J$ b- | F _2 xBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with- W2 l3 z% \2 y- k/ j; O
"z" and "w" with "v".% A6 }. C/ D6 |
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
( A" R. I" p. m: u2 T9 Safter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
* Q# B, W2 H3 {7 f5 |understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
; `1 Q# |3 M# Q" P [4 Y& k; Q4 eUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze3 x o# G3 H, ^1 l/ b
forst plas.
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( Q4 g% L* h9 G, iIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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