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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will# H$ h- H! R) c0 e
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
3 ]$ b! K' o+ g' @the other possibility.
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English7 {& ]0 \7 d0 N# {2 n# x% P6 }
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
! A; B/ @) A0 f: K. y8 hplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".4 m8 t5 r9 J) Y: C
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
0 @! U. t* r, L! }0 Q8 f4 H1 o$ E; Tthe sivil servants jump with joy.+ e0 w2 q3 K9 ]' Z9 l( s* q# F2 K- E
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up+ @7 P7 ^: b! d" y$ x6 Y0 G
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.0 m/ M% Q* W; _5 m7 f$ s! r `3 P
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$ u1 H! ^3 c1 U. ~There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
3 s( c3 Y; Z: r( M1 p4 X0 m& stroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
3 R* g2 p. O) ofotograf 20% shorter.% s7 S9 t; W4 W
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
$ o, x6 g" W1 q5 P( W( [reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
7 q/ ]# c% \9 Y5 c; g* xben a deterent to akurate speling.) X6 b6 V( e$ {7 q
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
; V$ |3 u4 Z8 @! L; x/ Mdisgrasful and it should go away.
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
+ c1 i# B3 M3 f4 l! u# i b( c"z" and "w" with "v".
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and8 y$ k! G$ B. _ C+ R2 Q/ T
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl. q+ Y4 P# i4 {: _
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu# _# n x- X1 }+ G& R1 t
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
4 S0 y; l7 s% ^7 ]- F! K) CUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze4 m8 X, ` p* T( K* }0 l* F3 s3 M4 j
forst plas.& P- B j' |- u$ E8 Z
2 L" c% Y6 u& Q' NIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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