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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
+ \, u: X% g4 p; F' t& Nbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
/ o5 d0 s, T! L3 t% v/ r" _the other possibility.
" O c) K9 v5 h8 Y8 B9 c$ r3 C% r: p3 f5 _' U5 o+ Y
As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
" C8 z) a8 @; p$ ~; kspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
+ o6 Q9 @2 n: l) A" Cplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".: r# x, q0 L% q+ u i
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
& W( K B! {9 M) K% `5 c" cthe sivil servants jump with joy.+ x5 C# O- Q" l. a
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up5 Z8 ~5 f4 ?/ w
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
8 E9 I3 h4 p$ K+ V) w% T# K' D& Y+ m' D D. g$ p3 J, V z
p$ V& z: S. Y/ i- L! [0 e9 I4 v7 c- F
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
6 w9 N8 e3 }9 mtroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
; Q* C1 l# m2 E6 ~1 ^' pfotograf 20% shorter.
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to c: L$ R/ H0 ~0 Y2 V) U
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
. m6 }3 n# q8 h4 d; {7 z/ p5 b- e. \0 b: y% A1 b$ m
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always$ m5 a5 `- a) ]( y% q6 {4 \
ben a deterent to akurate speling.+ Y ]% I4 v3 S( ^* p3 x
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
" s" g6 t! s. T' t9 Qdisgrasful and it should go away.. [* g1 I4 N7 C3 ]! }; r6 [1 Q
1 \* m0 _/ w' M! \% w& jBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
/ f6 e' I) ]& v"z" and "w" with "v".
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3 @7 }& S6 u; U6 z- L% ZDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
; l% ~. o" F# o, ~: m# g& Q" q4 dafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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: T8 E+ r- s( V) s+ rZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
9 f6 E( N! E- X: ?understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.$ C5 I. i% A1 }6 N+ B
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
2 Z; n0 \$ B9 ~; j$ M/ s, Cforst plas.
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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