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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
) v. r' [4 c) obe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was& `/ Q' H$ ?: {5 X. Z' b
the other possibility.% | K% U% C/ o" F4 v3 j/ u! v H
% `1 T- [- p, l/ PAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English! |$ F" b6 l4 i; C$ ~
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in: |1 m8 e. L7 h3 t9 w' M* k
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".; w8 @! C9 d! t- o" B9 m, t
e) V9 t: O) k0 g* U" wIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
- K( D+ y9 N5 c3 bthe sivil servants jump with joy.
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2 q: l! C1 m( _3 U5 aThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
! K) O, ]& [: ~3 j/ M6 r) O: R& Mkonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
" l: |: H7 O' T, Y# z. M) H3 Q) Vtroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like5 ?$ x" I$ X+ i6 T
fotograf 20% shorter.
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$ x7 E5 o! m+ O/ x- O3 f- QIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
& @; w; Z5 S6 z" h, d$ Areach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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^; b9 f; {" ^2 aGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always5 M" l' T" V# Y, U
ben a deterent to akurate speling.
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# D* b% G- a' `$ J+ BAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
+ S7 N/ R/ C9 i& z3 k8 kdisgrasful and it should go away.4 z7 z; L% F! }& G- O& `7 e
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
( v+ y/ Y4 h: @6 o. l/ x"z" and "w" with "v".
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and- Y# l7 x( p+ x; z/ |) |6 E
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.) ~! f) o7 u3 P1 P# w: {
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu% ^- U4 A9 X: ]9 Z8 E
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.- R5 A0 ~( r' q( u1 d
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
: y J* T6 ]6 Aforst plas.
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, M1 X7 [/ P9 A `/ ? qIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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