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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
) g4 [- F/ U' vbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
6 G5 j$ s2 }9 mthe other possibility.
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" r! y1 f7 v) J) |$ ^- L" d1 v* u5 uAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English: W: T, e" Y k/ {
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in* Z% G- g l" b* I& h1 R! a" X
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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) i& n# H' H! ?$ \/ |* wIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
- d2 \- b% @! F) @: Ythe sivil servants jump with joy.
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
8 M1 w7 j q% W" Kkonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
5 {) O, b. n8 y K1 `6 ptroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like" ~ X7 j7 Q8 U$ \
fotograf 20% shorter., h$ f: b4 z2 ]2 g
' @) b5 M; Q9 A* M) s' ~, t5 `. _In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to# W s8 l2 s9 p2 S8 O) P
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always, S" U, o; k6 `! D/ H
ben a deterent to akurate speling.$ V0 G; d$ g8 Z/ g) J' q
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
+ j0 f* ~: n7 H+ W: idisgrasful and it should go away.
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/ {8 E3 I" a% ]By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with5 L& B! A( }& d; O8 C9 r+ W( H0 M
"z" and "w" with "v".
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7 o7 {6 R% L7 j* i3 F7 {During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and- }+ b s+ t) [2 A3 E: L+ a+ K
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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! {3 O" O6 b0 p1 E. j/ JZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu1 H* X; O# u v' ?* X
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.! B! m' \. z; g7 F
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
0 @) x! F' t* ?6 X4 J# J- B$ Lforst plas.
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9 G9 h/ f+ S1 Q6 ~, CIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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