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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
7 n" L4 _3 E' h5 c# sbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was% w- X+ C3 q4 {4 o/ Z& T
the other possibility.& ~' n! S, ]2 i) l6 U: T E+ |
. z; j" J6 `& i7 U) l- gAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
' S+ U( R0 t* T. C Gspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in# J* o# K# m9 v
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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/ R) [, A4 G5 i8 r F* iIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make7 c1 G8 u9 T# M: h9 u1 u$ J
the sivil servants jump with joy.
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1 h7 X. q: c, K$ w& k9 H! j3 o& VThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
5 W2 `/ h3 @# D4 bkonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.5 e3 q- Q! n g& O& X
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
8 {* A M3 t! D D6 e4 o3 ltroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
# s4 u X: f3 z1 i: \% X% cfotograf 20% shorter.
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, q- N& J* u. L' h3 f/ `! ^: U1 T! wIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
4 _: f; n# m$ C' \/ mreach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
' f% D% x/ T6 h! l! p2 E& N/ R' K/ |ben a deterent to akurate speling.
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is9 s! C$ Z! S/ i
disgrasful and it should go away.
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
+ R- S1 {) F5 Y3 W" E4 m' C2 }2 X8 B$ e"z" and "w" with "v".
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/ i( e4 B* k" k7 GDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
& ?1 ]) X3 G t- f( U# fafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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% F' z9 l! C5 U3 f6 c' ?Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu% D7 g: R% s+ [
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
3 }2 B6 L; _0 |! D6 v) {+ V0 eUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze% @& c- t6 g' {$ x5 U/ f0 E) v% v
forst plas.
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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