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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will: _! A' |" m* c* a, P
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was$ n$ i8 o0 C0 M( p$ |
the other possibility.
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
* X# ]! w& }7 Q espelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
) u5 E; x; Z% B* H9 Rplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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0 L ^" k( l6 [9 GIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
1 t) x0 B+ w! P& Vthe sivil servants jump with joy.
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up$ X; `; E. t s3 g! C
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.5 d6 G, F; }8 h* c& k
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the$ c; J6 _8 `: k* A3 r" Q" y' `
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
6 Q0 Y: J: `8 S: M$ ufotograf 20% shorter.
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- X3 m# ?4 X# H0 c; ~In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
1 B) Z4 C) i8 B- ]reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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" L3 H- E9 H6 o6 j( ]- I s' {Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
3 g( r4 Q" s2 W/ ]ben a deterent to akurate speling.7 w( Y( t& s( w
2 r0 u* M% s4 K$ g) O1 b k0 hAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
7 p( r/ A; Y7 B; C3 x2 {( d( T" zdisgrasful and it should go away.* o: o- m3 l$ J; K9 F
7 G0 E' w' `7 j$ z& J" X8 J; ~: @By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with: c* f4 h' L \& }7 w- _& v
"z" and "w" with "v". G% n7 K, W$ f* `) k6 w- ?
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
8 I- X4 H) z: i, R5 ]$ h, [; o8 gafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl. W2 ]8 i! k/ b. }+ f% Y
Z( Q. J5 D4 y% W0 @, H" jZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu' {* O7 B& I0 C* R! C( y. o
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.' ]6 R, r- i* X8 s2 H+ n
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
' [; j! b- z4 L& V$ x2 C! I3 ?& kforst plas.
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2 m7 I' d k; aIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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