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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
1 m" [4 B. V2 f" ]be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was0 T$ x6 `( k- T* G3 N. e! v
the other possibility. A8 n N% I5 i) W, u( \
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English2 K/ I' f+ `4 M7 x) _+ p; l4 \, _" q
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in N# a4 D$ t. z: C& K
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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( ]% {1 I' ^- T \- u, m eIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
+ L1 o* Z7 A% u! j$ u& J; c3 ~8 qthe sivil servants jump with joy.
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up1 P& a; G: K8 @2 m C/ r
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.1 j/ _+ t: P8 f, s9 M
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% t- a$ t0 H: a' L% e; Y2 NThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
7 N! r) z- I2 H0 r! Vtroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
0 ]& V1 n8 m6 a6 C% \fotograf 20% shorter./ Y' a- F& [3 L# U3 x# i$ t
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
7 a H8 P' q3 N& j5 v: ~+ {8 \reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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9 y7 B( Z, l8 R6 {; i+ d* rGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
# r% e6 X1 t* k# xben a deterent to akurate speling.
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1 Q% [- a9 W* F( _( qAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
/ S+ g. a/ l# H; a: ]7 Ydisgrasful and it should go away.
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' ]9 W( u ]2 h' VBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with9 B6 l! Z9 g6 [1 X7 ^/ ?
"z" and "w" with "v".8 C5 K$ q# l* b9 F. M
5 {7 `7 M }# S# R- rDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and6 K& X+ ]; v) F) j1 \
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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. C- X) J. I8 ]/ ?) ]! y7 \Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu* W1 `4 A5 R- c' e
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.9 f/ i$ w8 ?/ C- i
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze7 S: L7 R. E" z7 k" E1 k- ?; \6 \
forst plas.3 n* K, D3 x; ~/ ^7 M
- g: V9 }; k& Q0 VIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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