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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
: x4 K& l8 u" |: |! t/ L9 a' ~# }be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was2 O- Z/ w' m9 E! d
the other possibility.$ f$ v0 Q4 D1 A1 h* H- }
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
( f' Q4 H0 M! A: w1 Jspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
( h1 q# r; A% vplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".4 W: u- i# x( i0 C, e# `; ~
6 F; i( c) p# I; s( g! EIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
: g0 y% E" D4 [* O2 z- l O9 H" Ethe sivil servants jump with joy.
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
$ b. s# w$ G1 [4 A" r1 Z$ f' Ikonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.9 H% j1 C5 O7 y
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" |. a s3 N. X7 h6 g) R! LThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the, ?. x! D1 E+ T4 l, M; O- C
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like$ a, P- X O& u0 N2 u( O" w
fotograf 20% shorter. V- ]% F! e1 W5 U) U P
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to4 g# h) {" K, V% H: ?3 ^7 h
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.4 E7 M0 L3 h6 Q" l9 o
% S! N6 L' {) K; Z8 C uGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always3 w6 d5 t' L H# B; T% R) c
ben a deterent to akurate speling.
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
! i5 {+ G3 N% i/ q1 ndisgrasful and it should go away.
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5 B9 O+ a/ f/ }/ Z( pBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
+ W; W5 r B7 n" h4 b3 l' E"z" and "w" with "v".
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7 L+ J+ Z0 P' {) Q+ o/ TDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and5 x8 @) \& G+ }: G8 _- F) Z
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.! q+ \4 v$ d8 G3 Q* j6 g, G
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
6 x4 L# ?0 M3 r Y3 @0 ~understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
; s8 P4 F% h; p( `' QUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze) m2 j1 R v9 o' d, ?% [5 \7 s
forst plas.
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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