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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
1 F# h2 @0 G: k) N( Q( Cbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
# ^0 T. `( y! `4 H+ Fthe other possibility.
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- U; ?8 ]$ J+ J2 h; {As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English& W( Z0 l. i' M% n
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in$ }" O: k- Z1 r
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".0 `' @% R0 g3 v% R+ U
* R' _. j+ C8 t: ~+ [" jIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
. x% X) a# X5 O- Uthe sivil servants jump with joy.
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
( I- a, z' H& x$ g/ }7 Qkonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.. I5 l/ ?+ s/ `8 U1 w/ |
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, J8 F7 L4 Y4 Z* v \: jThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
2 d7 ?( ~3 c) Y( s. |+ g3 Htroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
; s1 C9 }1 J0 y/ {- T- _fotograf 20% shorter.+ ?7 z' T4 `/ l4 u* H( Y6 q: ]6 ]9 }
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
! A' M7 r) m4 E' M+ ?+ v# jreach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.& \/ [. V. U5 m% J) K8 K# `
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always6 ~( h4 `: T' x+ h" @
ben a deterent to akurate speling.; L, Y- c! C. u e& y/ O j: X
. r4 O2 i6 v$ R% r+ x2 OAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is9 C1 ^ \2 s3 F0 c
disgrasful and it should go away.
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
' W+ @% O! s( g/ D6 b: n- I"z" and "w" with "v".. u' x( B0 |* v) P# V
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and/ P l( f' R5 X) T: f/ D: V0 }+ k) B
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl., z* P/ f8 |: T3 r5 s$ N
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu; i5 X2 g8 h, @" I1 D: [
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
* l+ `7 E" L7 ]' ?& v7 y( BUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
& q' R5 ^ t; R l/ E, O# G! D- eforst plas.9 [' u: c1 R1 f: F3 m$ k
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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