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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
) e+ {. q: d2 Jbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was4 a' `1 f# w* Z5 i
the other possibility. l% P# y5 M8 S* O" f. s* W
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English" @: L3 e0 I. }! q9 ^+ c
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
1 z' f2 h: R u6 J3 @plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".5 @/ i# v1 V; d
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
8 g0 ^$ T+ Z& c+ \9 w; ^2 @the sivil servants jump with joy.( Z" q2 i- e! f- D3 l( D
4 N" }; Z/ t. v# ]The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
/ J1 D4 x( r# e) akonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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a+ I9 p( F7 |3 a9 ~1 h7 K
6 T6 {1 g2 J4 v1 q" e4 n0 F1 S- o' iThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the( P- E8 T& T' `% y9 l2 x
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
8 J+ c1 y- ]5 M) hfotograf 20% shorter.
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
! b0 T) p% h5 z5 t, Q2 oreach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.0 x) l9 I1 O: o* o! [1 K) }
' ]3 j: J0 M% G9 j/ G3 fGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always* d4 { M9 K- l5 v! U% J* L" \
ben a deterent to akurate speling./ j4 f. S/ D- c8 I2 _
: x! |; b, d9 ^9 f. e2 n) F' a8 HAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is: b4 v! y' M' G# e, W
disgrasful and it should go away.
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" w. \7 R% P+ D9 b1 GBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with* d1 z \" W6 M/ n! b' `; i
"z" and "w" with "v".
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and( {! L1 k( l1 |% b5 R
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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$ F7 P! |0 S2 LZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
+ G0 T& s0 ?! C% ]understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.2 c* e" M0 b- A* B% f
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze2 Q, B1 E3 x ]7 R: L; `
forst plas.3 u$ c- Q3 o, H9 ^; s5 H
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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