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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will& d" [) B" z, [1 B: h+ Q$ Y
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was: U! p7 v! f, n) f' J; y5 Q5 H
the other possibility.1 S4 I5 h, S% w( `+ g) F/ a
, ]8 _" G- f }. J# M5 R+ ~$ S" hAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
! Q6 F3 H; T- Fspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in, o% r* |) P, b
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".' L6 D: v6 e0 N& Z* G
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
. w3 f7 G! f! Y9 w$ W. B0 `the sivil servants jump with joy.
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' Z Y. _% p( m5 WThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up! s" T& d4 p; ~! z8 F+ [& L
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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0 _2 ~1 b/ A4 o. sThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
" F: G( _5 o$ ]1 itroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
- W3 f' G7 S8 Z% H$ T) hfotograf 20% shorter.' T% j3 h- }, ?% t! a
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
5 K! R) M* E: I h* treach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.6 h: F8 w, R% c; k# h. I6 d
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
: ?3 |% F+ Y1 D1 }. v8 Cben a deterent to akurate speling.. H; d) K! r. j" f1 F
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
4 p" J( H# x6 h, y5 S/ u0 [% kdisgrasful and it should go away.6 e; ?' A' @0 o
% z" R# t! d/ b- v. ]1 Q2 ~- c7 ]; ^By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with! e# o# k" t. J
"z" and "w" with "v".
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and- u5 z0 @9 M$ c
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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$ \1 }1 P2 v% KZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
4 F+ Z( k9 Q) L$ C& ]. G4 h: zunderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.+ G. g9 }9 f6 M1 l! V: f5 U+ x. y
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze, f/ R) A8 Z ?9 I
forst plas.! P9 h/ s1 R) F. i4 D
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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