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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
4 R6 a8 J, t* m0 E0 e4 f. K0 f' jbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was; `- |/ N' `3 Q9 f
the other possibility.
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English6 n% D! v% c0 B/ |/ @6 g- s
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
~3 `4 S3 K3 I7 L& Z L' V5 Cplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish"./ w9 M& @: H2 n
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
1 N4 J8 ?1 D8 R8 j5 i: [the sivil servants jump with joy.: `- Z' O% |& _- O1 C
/ d0 H- `$ P& s2 P) fThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up7 a' T$ a/ z6 r
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.' d1 I8 u7 q0 m' L) ~! E
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7 y3 W) Q3 j( y2 X. Z. c( Y5 _There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the$ ^: c) N( |- N& x) i; f' a; d
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like8 O3 \7 W* ~# ?
fotograf 20% shorter.1 I" F; Y' H4 ~- h1 T3 Q0 c
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to& Z' a. X8 I% D, l1 H& Q1 |$ e
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.* ~% j# C( P2 M+ C
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always7 Z$ ^0 ]% K: f- z
ben a deterent to akurate speling.
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is+ h& E5 b3 o" q
disgrasful and it should go away.4 a- c6 V9 I/ W$ p
9 Q5 `3 C3 e8 G, @& QBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with u4 z5 w0 ?" R+ @: l' k0 [1 h0 {8 A
"z" and "w" with "v".1 H3 ?, B0 Z" t% n( E9 Q2 B
1 R3 Q0 F) T$ O% I% {During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and) ^9 d# L3 h( w; J( K4 f
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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9 S6 q2 ^& {6 j1 R( A j3 m; r; UZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu! U# z# D4 I1 M& F; K
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.1 {5 h. S. |4 o& M( S
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze% q/ _) }4 x1 Z
forst plas." y& r3 \4 D0 r+ G
; T$ T6 r' l6 |# bIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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