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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
0 y9 O- z- H2 r$ K5 {5 Jbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was$ \1 u& Y& C* H# ^, G; P
the other possibility.
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English8 K K/ W7 s' U* L. V1 ~1 [ ^
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
; u7 ~5 g$ {/ B. M) fplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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0 [# O9 Z/ k2 e, F" XIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make# `( A" ?0 R2 z
the sivil servants jump with joy.4 Z% S& x& }4 s8 N
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up/ P$ M6 o2 u, E+ U( g
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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' \) J' n9 O, u" p; {0 N2 H/ i+ KThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the+ i2 c& E. h9 }7 H: w
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
' z* w9 x; S+ ~, yfotograf 20% shorter.; G0 W" g6 ? I0 \/ d. o; ?
0 A- |' I9 i0 C0 ?In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to6 J- q& p9 b/ [ F
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.2 k- f# f) Y7 B4 i
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always4 S7 R* y% H# I: J. V
ben a deterent to akurate speling.: y1 G, N9 m7 }. r
0 I- q1 R1 L% {5 ?' pAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
0 h4 @; u/ ^% y, n2 ^disgrasful and it should go away.
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. Y9 ?+ s( w3 K( s5 {7 Y; }- XBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
0 A* I. h8 F/ ~' C) |! H"z" and "w" with "v".% g$ _. }6 g, j+ ]0 v" Z8 n, J
5 J1 K v! N# d: M- }1 O Z+ N" R0 nDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and0 Z: c6 ] v% u5 z) E3 I9 h2 _2 b
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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% G) o. v6 c- U7 c- CZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
; p* Q% A- q0 M( w: x; l/ Gunderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
6 S, X% Y% [, {, D, d! rUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
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. q, k/ c3 v H {- r( j. oIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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