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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
1 `9 V% T4 Q j( O! f9 lbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
! {- A3 p4 }" v1 M$ f- r5 J2 kthe other possibility.' v0 t8 k* r% g/ H) ?$ s
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English! Y# r5 H$ u" x7 L8 i3 f+ ?, k
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in, M1 Q" g% J$ M. i; |0 N1 e) P
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
2 x6 }7 k# c |$ K& r4 Q8 f3 p7 V Sthe sivil servants jump with joy.
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2 C. m! B3 O# m0 I3 XThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
9 ]; d& P% G% A6 Pkonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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( j/ N- ?$ g2 C" ^0 k! y9 gThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
1 a# e o9 b+ P% ttroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like9 U& S/ F8 M" {
fotograf 20% shorter./ [& `9 Z- W# x& u J6 @
$ r: `! \! N1 Z5 z0 F2 BIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to. j( u3 I8 l% Z- p" w/ q3 G0 f
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.0 B- E- S2 I% a% @
6 c J# M4 u3 C/ L& ?3 {Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
% f5 R( G: h. Q+ a4 N( _3 k* {ben a deterent to akurate speling.
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) I. F6 W) v$ |Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
4 `, z3 v3 i9 Q6 r- R- Y( s0 e" W% x9 qdisgrasful and it should go away.
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7 B( Z5 e& D2 n) x5 h+ _4 W( zBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
; F- |! L0 W) m8 [9 V"z" and "w" with "v".
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. K7 @, |: M$ d9 j( j& ZDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and" c; J7 n. L* `! e
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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7 G, i9 K* Y) W# c% E/ cZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu3 H+ |& s/ J" A& R
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
8 D- P& N$ L4 g5 F7 zUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze1 Q9 g2 A# e5 p; q6 F1 J- o
forst plas.* C3 q& ~- o4 R" F! `
6 }: D+ Q% r# c" g7 Y; E2 PIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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