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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
. K+ b! U. k: f$ P7 Ibe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was. ?. d7 J6 I3 j( Q" @' a7 [
the other possibility.3 p5 r2 V5 Y2 n- I
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
2 C& z- T0 O0 N0 L! o( ?% nspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in5 P% ?+ m& p' T0 i6 q9 V2 b4 c
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make/ S( e& X% `0 q6 O- z
the sivil servants jump with joy.
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+ d4 h0 s7 [, d6 G) f- G$ FThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
; l, N( u4 }. p5 }" X# D, W& X) gkonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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0 S$ m8 i0 B9 y; J5 T; [$ u5 ZThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the4 k9 ~) W0 F. t2 A
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like. S# ]! H6 C5 x1 I. D& q1 g. f
fotograf 20% shorter.
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/ D% l4 {! z4 q. \/ jIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to9 k5 O0 p, y- F) ]9 O9 R }' y
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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- E' F' p9 S& i2 n, H! CGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
7 n0 N2 J) R7 _ben a deterent to akurate speling.! I# |) e6 A( ^# a* C% B l( x
% n+ n" S2 p, [* ]7 u& ?Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
, K; Z2 J5 K. Tdisgrasful and it should go away.; |$ a0 l! R6 {7 y8 C U O. P
% i h+ H8 Q! g/ XBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
5 {1 f. I% M/ R7 _* }) R"z" and "w" with "v".; e5 P8 p' P% b7 M7 h3 _. b
- r6 s+ _8 m! L' J/ V* M0 O: NDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and- o$ X1 P" k, k& M- o- c- j# M
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.% O" X$ ]5 E: j
' N( O, h# s& O5 j: k* C7 wZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
8 c5 G0 i5 c6 }2 A" {' e8 aunderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
5 z5 s& s6 ~4 H4 X& V8 F' PUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
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" c: B5 L& P$ {1 f8 oIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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