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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will# ]) \' b% o) q8 H5 L# c% D
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
# z4 F& ~! U9 q& z* rthe other possibility.& h+ G& W e9 Y( Q
) U( z9 @% l3 S7 J$ N5 `5 kAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
7 u1 I9 P( I8 J. m8 |- t3 |7 Aspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
* M5 o, h0 Q/ o9 v5 l' o( {plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".$ b# T% T1 w8 _" T" @2 l7 ^
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make% z$ M7 n) ^: ^! v2 U
the sivil servants jump with joy.* M. n' K8 v6 \- Z* W( R6 _
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
& F+ Y& C+ B. y) Q' S$ k; |4 fkonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.4 ~4 G0 k4 T& u5 J+ X C7 j" _
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: w7 U0 d m; B# gThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
6 S ^8 a7 P7 d8 o6 ^% _& vtroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like( }7 H; Q# b9 A2 {$ M/ A/ A
fotograf 20% shorter.
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7 ?. u8 ^: b' W5 T( qIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to0 L' S- M$ d% B1 d
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.' [ q% D* h) n- J% n; ?
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always9 C( A5 X n, q/ R
ben a deterent to akurate speling., ~8 m4 N$ G5 M
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
6 d$ K2 W7 n+ M4 e0 I adisgrasful and it should go away.
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with3 {9 c7 @& ^3 H5 Z4 v
"z" and "w" with "v".
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7 J- b6 Z8 ]: a9 }5 xDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and; ~: b7 e9 M0 l8 s, d& Q+ {9 n9 J
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.. B9 r4 C6 a% R5 M
1 E8 \8 r4 P- T$ r! ` ~& fZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
; V$ U3 P( ~* K3 z( iunderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
" w6 p! G& M. y, B3 A2 s9 ^1 sUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze/ ?" O. V: N& X5 V
forst plas.' I" L$ I! H; k8 U
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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