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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will, h6 @$ p5 o: W
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was( H4 g% O6 O. Z2 i. K2 z4 u0 A; O
the other possibility.; F8 t9 o1 H9 k; }. h* n
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
% I T* A2 ~+ |8 |: Hspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in! W3 R4 S. g8 x- y1 v- K2 d
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make6 _- i9 U/ k! N- N3 |
the sivil servants jump with joy." p. h! U7 f# U0 Z# |" |
! t& D) A% k6 H: YThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
O1 S# `8 N7 ukonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.- K" T+ h }. C4 P! ~
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; N: B {4 V Y- V+ NThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
& i4 H, L, F- s( ?0 Y9 `% h. atroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
, k' s8 c0 |1 Z, g1 ?8 g. \: cfotograf 20% shorter., Y& }, c5 n, C# ]* Q8 @7 m+ Q
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to! \1 D1 Z8 A. f* h& \$ l: ^) t
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.# ?0 t) A* z: x i5 F
% A! V9 R! A# i* Q- jGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always" J5 G5 C+ J/ S' A: S
ben a deterent to akurate speling.
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- v0 {( Z* q+ x2 V# S3 rAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is q0 g: v' B' p4 H" M& i5 w
disgrasful and it should go away.
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
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9 q" |. x4 O, K6 z7 c4 B! ODuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
4 f! |+ d* f- M3 Q3 B) h2 qafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.( ^: V* v; k+ _0 r% W0 Y
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu p2 C( S/ T& q$ H4 L! Y
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.* d& A# i. z( \# n m! X9 y
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze" ~, Y4 L* o* m" L q: A- `
forst plas.
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# x* U( r: C* q: z7 \ ?1 w$ YIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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