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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
5 s0 @7 r% H5 T" ube the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
0 z. g+ }0 j9 t1 |4 a0 gthe other possibility.
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( U3 b8 a( \0 FAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English2 q$ E/ \( a! Q6 O! Z7 K
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
2 S9 ^7 E% W- H8 u' |+ Hplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".3 p; d# [/ _' D4 o
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make- D( J Q/ h' I( f! e# T8 ]
the sivil servants jump with joy.6 a& b" U5 h/ A3 k) L
% v7 I+ J& T9 \$ t. R6 hThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up" ?+ o( v( _, ]9 m- s# c
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.5 S" S# O# N, }# U) K, I
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
% Z5 p$ P' r8 gtroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like+ g o% F$ |: J% X6 `
fotograf 20% shorter.% S8 x+ K" q+ G: k
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
4 g, ]) S- o' D2 u1 qreach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
% U8 ?; {, [% W, n0 P7 P! Xben a deterent to akurate speling.: n, p3 E# \9 q6 n! O7 ?
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is) \( @* v9 f, P+ N, w
disgrasful and it should go away.
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
% v! o6 ~' q+ J* P/ |, |"z" and "w" with "v".( v& v* N) {1 F* P
( H y2 H: {+ {4 E6 @% g7 f$ s& vDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and, b# ]3 c' O& h% O9 U
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.9 C) y' [& f. i. H8 e
" g2 y0 t1 E" z! G! G$ M% mZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
; k% W" X7 m- Z% w& J; x! H- h' f8 ?3 dunderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.7 ^' r: r2 C' r
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
$ b" \. H# h6 y* o$ iforst plas.9 v0 z" i ^4 @0 c! }" y+ A
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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