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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will/ I" N ]/ z" o7 E' u
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was% k$ Z H4 X/ b8 m( C7 C
the other possibility.
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7 e7 {6 b8 }4 N( F) dAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
: N# O3 [5 i# G& Hspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in' S: @. X% u" \, x$ i% g
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
h$ g: K* k- Z# [8 Sthe sivil servants jump with joy. K$ G! s( }8 m" U( q/ ^: D
: J# B8 h$ i* DThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
/ ~. C/ w5 I( ~' Mkonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter./ P3 K) f9 C+ v) |8 h
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" s! e8 c# X& y& n' M! nThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
# q" C& B6 W) ]3 ^2 [troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like, x Z/ w/ x- M' M x8 E4 i
fotograf 20% shorter.
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
" h; F4 R6 l3 E9 Xreach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.9 F( V5 s. A l7 P6 o
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always' |( Q. W) [8 F# p
ben a deterent to akurate speling.+ L `2 d# a0 A! c9 B7 ^2 ]
) n2 H6 l% z* K* q" i/ ? ]Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
U3 M4 d! X2 [& T( Wdisgrasful and it should go away.
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& |" ]8 r! Q, k) hBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with: r# b% S$ S0 L+ w3 n
"z" and "w" with "v".+ x. \5 z7 k" R
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and5 A |: M7 J# |, b
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.& A8 z; m2 v6 B0 Q4 J8 Z. h s7 Z
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu& t& L9 y* i6 L* y
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
' i9 C) g" W: x" D9 v0 ^, L, t% SUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze8 r. J Z9 K& i9 q
forst plas.. s, g1 Q( L6 n) d P1 X( z
1 R! T& b0 r _( S7 cIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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