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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
* k" r' h7 \( @be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was, O8 y$ f6 {% Z: v+ W
the other possibility.1 ^! b, A; ^% ?, M0 N) d& y g
! F% Y" v, a/ t" K' D" e3 KAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
) X. l( Z% z H( X) t; ^, [5 gspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in0 f" V2 X* b! z* k4 J
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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3 c3 U; y3 v" \: g2 w* G$ K6 [In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make2 j+ P0 c% _+ t, X5 Y4 n4 P3 L; ^2 x
the sivil servants jump with joy.% V7 x) i. l5 f+ L
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
' H/ M) q- [% X6 Zkonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.! K5 e. p/ j r: U. L, T9 D8 ?
8 x4 X3 ]" j d o' q/ h! h2 F: W" J0 R; F: m4 Z
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the* E: Z" U1 N6 l. A' ]3 @
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like4 R+ f4 r1 a9 L
fotograf 20% shorter.( d3 F1 I; R9 j
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
5 M" |! t! ~- I2 g8 Q0 Freach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible., a' P: f' j7 r
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always# S+ Y! a/ @% L) i2 n' } T# O
ben a deterent to akurate speling.
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
7 W+ \8 \3 f5 w1 jdisgrasful and it should go away.
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7 E7 G! `+ T' i5 yBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
. M& N" j9 {1 r"z" and "w" with "v".
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0 r0 \: g3 q4 Q# [; B# l0 JDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
! ^$ |4 f4 k- k, {: cafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.3 |1 M$ C) I5 y
+ e' U: \& d1 f( S" F, J0 s6 mZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu; O+ S; |! o! n
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.9 Q+ N( S' u% H% r+ B
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze3 i4 U# ~: Y0 z6 X% Z0 C) t. W
forst plas.
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# m: `0 [2 n: r& jIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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