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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
y! X6 H, {. l1 abe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
: Z( }- G1 L" z, V9 P2 g' R" y: i5 Q2 hthe other possibility.
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) _1 Q) L# L% |As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English$ H& p, k5 E- B4 c2 G a# t
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
3 d3 |2 M5 G& w3 y8 |plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".; g8 m! ~; B& z9 E+ {! K
! n8 N L3 @* m& w4 ZIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make6 I% O1 z/ n& A( \
the sivil servants jump with joy.
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
7 @' G$ F/ y2 K+ O% u) P$ y d- Xkonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter./ K% ^" _' P: }' c) [3 A
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, D) r8 A& I6 S5 F; X4 }There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
W# w- i: ^' X+ Y8 c! Utroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
8 ^, v! D' ?2 p. ~9 Pfotograf 20% shorter." g& i" @6 L T5 l. J" J
1 u- b+ d: J# [: `2 T" U8 c: tIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
! I0 P2 e& y8 s& w. O. k; K8 O/ preach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.- Q E3 j* W6 m6 v: G# \
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
5 r J: r5 R! i' b. Iben a deterent to akurate speling.; x6 ] m1 ?( e0 N5 x. n& g/ |
2 D/ x9 y& q7 k( ]4 }, QAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is- w' t5 i4 U. M9 i
disgrasful and it should go away.' |& R4 L% G6 b+ z
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with8 Y0 u" ?3 n- `- v
"z" and "w" with "v".
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
% c; M% K# q f0 z2 i8 v) Hafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.# W/ D( Y5 f; F L2 Q% \
, S' v5 B, K' cZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
8 o* K, T4 Y9 m' _) Q4 Tunderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.2 z# x4 q5 K5 ?' P
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
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& J% o T; |9 qIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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