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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will$ ^2 W/ f, }0 a) } [
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was4 M& `3 q& I# R5 |# r+ L0 j I R
the other possibility.
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* l+ i6 x3 t* @; I) K- U' u: |: YAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
- f+ |+ P) c( b2 M& Xspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
$ F8 G v8 [$ B0 W% x5 K% splan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make) |$ h( m. {+ n4 N3 j7 c4 ]- f0 V
the sivil servants jump with joy.8 C7 a' ~+ P" { X% a+ L
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up7 z: o3 z' X) L
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.+ J. K" G) n; E! ~$ Y) M9 V: z. S# \
; j/ s* j+ A G) h& K% `9 `. v$ ]
J% K6 c. _& D/ v( e( K. d) ]
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the2 m) n* J7 K2 l: t4 [5 e, m9 c1 n
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
5 m! F; a8 W6 R4 K: B6 zfotograf 20% shorter.
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, @! p3 z% S) i! a( L8 JIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
) J5 ]# o. F6 l9 t ]3 Xreach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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, q9 N1 U- y! j) xGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always. u, i& K) {- i' p, A) d5 ^
ben a deterent to akurate speling.
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
% N' X( Q7 d# z, Q' j2 v7 gdisgrasful and it should go away.
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2 O9 L7 X6 X8 n0 y- U9 Z3 K- y! FBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
; G5 W ]: W0 ]5 `3 Z0 S n"z" and "w" with "v".' C; T* {7 ?' E+ E6 I" W/ ~! H
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and# W' T, S# }2 N* c0 Q' p
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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8 ?( m/ m1 P: ~9 y& o) kZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu7 h+ ^" {. D, Q- g
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.7 J6 v6 g/ T2 v+ D
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze2 b I+ p' X4 c9 o3 n
forst plas.5 A R t! Z: Y; R" o. B ~
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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