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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will/ X' w; W" k! P, r
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
$ G0 O5 c9 E* U9 w# V( d% Xthe other possibility.
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% o0 i& p8 s1 \( Z b# YAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English8 J) t3 y" T6 S$ M4 Z+ t' B
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
* j9 \, h% }. n) `0 eplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".! L) O$ D" `* Y( ]3 ?; S- T: Q
' N0 n f M5 r9 n8 [In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
6 ~& u/ H, P" X$ ?2 X9 l: vthe sivil servants jump with joy.# |+ l. z7 H: e5 v
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
6 Y4 e5 ]! s! |$ Lkonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
4 ?3 _4 K% `# T6 p T+ F' j: h$ _# q1 W$ M/ t2 R; r! b4 Q0 t
9 u/ `4 B5 u. a* C+ |6 _% X2 F g- QThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the! `7 w. _/ L! f0 x% V: j) \
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
8 t' r, ]4 u. s2 {" Afotograf 20% shorter.
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
9 r) `# Q: Y' B5 P4 t9 breach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.2 ~: s, j& S4 x. B8 Z
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always/ T: k& G& P+ d8 q, s8 x# F
ben a deterent to akurate speling.9 K1 P# I" d8 \% N6 b* ]- f
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
6 W% [1 T0 F2 f6 edisgrasful and it should go away.$ K" z$ \/ O P! b7 @: g
" Q! r3 q) T- `$ L/ Z( l. HBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
& ^) a1 `7 k' b, z- x, q( |8 w4 o"z" and "w" with "v".
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* s3 Z( J4 z; v- p' E" u6 Y* PDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and" @' W/ C3 n8 `: k* [6 u" y
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.) K/ _4 ^2 ]1 i8 c5 f5 B! v ~
/ Z: r- d/ K0 h8 SZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu& ^9 K! H8 a0 c- w" `, i
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
0 y# i9 d" G3 c- E4 EUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
7 B7 ]- q1 s& @# z8 x* }forst plas.! l5 C- a% s8 U9 C( d" ]
4 Q5 Q1 G8 K5 ]) M) U3 VIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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