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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
% ~1 @% x. f+ C2 ~: T3 j. u Q7 ube the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
; l/ {* [' R: ~( s2 rthe other possibility.
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English6 b2 O c$ X7 g! C f
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
/ h" E: U1 z- I* m+ eplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make& ?: C9 {/ |# R, B
the sivil servants jump with joy.! g3 Z- H1 m1 Q5 ^0 l7 _4 |
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up' E3 U$ H1 m6 e3 U! x' l
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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7 w; h! V# h F2 ?% n; WThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the+ ^3 t6 m( x* X
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like/ b- Z4 n, U. v/ a( f$ ~8 [) b
fotograf 20% shorter.
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
$ ?6 n( s- m/ d; Mreach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.9 v0 f, `8 i% u2 I
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
4 c2 |: X) y" A. u5 _- Vben a deterent to akurate speling.
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
" |4 O# r5 t2 n: Adisgrasful and it should go away.
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with* d$ H6 e. m3 N! }, h6 q7 n( R0 ]
"z" and "w" with "v".
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! C- k# c5 X7 ?9 V" g$ Z# rDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
1 Z0 ^3 A1 X6 E$ @after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
1 J9 `- G4 ]' m; B) X( h4 ]understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
9 {% p3 \ _! N LUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
4 F; e5 N2 Z& u8 D, H: G, nforst plas.
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1 h& x6 `$ K6 B; EIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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