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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
" f6 i0 P3 r: _7 B7 R) f* t D) _be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was5 L' C/ F* B' d8 k v
the other possibility.* N6 |8 N0 x: A, J4 K, r
, P, ^2 E( {, W' ~9 SAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English. K# x: c+ B* @( B6 K" D0 Z8 d
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
% G0 t' A$ d+ ~2 i/ H) \' ?3 U' Bplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
2 t4 O+ ~. v7 [3 I3 @the sivil servants jump with joy.
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
' l8 K1 a8 V% Xkonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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2 x/ h% H+ e' y- c1 }( X+ A( mThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the) k+ y" z, D9 Z% y
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like/ h" U$ Y1 C$ P! D
fotograf 20% shorter.0 J3 O/ n9 i9 [3 a X
9 ]6 b+ ?6 U: Q) a2 ]3 _$ {In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
* h2 o. I" k5 u& x" \reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
/ U8 K) d& x& Y& a4 ?" Bben a deterent to akurate speling.
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: Z7 Q0 w) J0 X+ Z. @9 @Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is1 X* m; c6 u. X9 |1 p A
disgrasful and it should go away.
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
- Z1 |( |: H, }0 Y. S"z" and "w" with "v".9 p- E4 S4 R. ^8 I6 ]. b
' v! X5 Y5 V: x* M. |During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and$ Q) X; M1 ]( }, h: V. p7 W
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.% N E+ r+ ?( {8 ^ L
% E0 |" o+ g5 s- S+ R' yZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu/ Y; }3 p( `5 w/ S
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
1 o8 T' e- p% Y3 z) y. jUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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