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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will7 `+ G* p2 \2 j5 p
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
7 n$ Q3 s8 }% S( J3 othe other possibility.
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& X( A8 x4 }* Z) ^+ C, X* L$ R# QAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
& i5 M- }* X4 B* [1 n+ Rspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in$ w i) v$ m. F! E6 Q# R
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish"." V) W4 q4 c# P! z
1 K$ w- S( w+ bIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
/ }) p( H- H7 v6 X* b* Kthe sivil servants jump with joy., ~- N4 }2 U) ~- S* [( e% C( p# b* |
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up" O* M6 V- \; `; X& ^, X
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.7 }, f* K! q# f T2 H
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( _. I0 P* d/ u, E) ]$ VThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
, M* @) c9 I( utroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like' }1 O5 c: t! }# P3 E! m& J
fotograf 20% shorter.& n2 ~9 A8 d& d: Z! l
; }7 {6 Q5 z% T4 @7 x" M) L9 o3 CIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to7 b4 j2 }' k0 l
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.8 K" ?1 Y6 E4 Q2 z* W
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always. M" V# ]( c+ X5 M8 I- V2 f
ben a deterent to akurate speling.5 A2 c% v) b5 t5 K4 {$ e8 E# Q
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
# b( ^! ?: x! V Y/ @disgrasful and it should go away.
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with$ n9 S! T2 U, f/ d6 e
"z" and "w" with "v".
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
9 |0 [3 ^1 q, l6 x+ ~- B [! X% Bafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.% R) ^7 x& d- ?" _, }
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu& p; Z' K/ t2 l
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.# e5 O( i0 j; c
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze3 D/ Y3 H7 T1 u( p- m! n
forst plas.0 f8 N9 X% v/ \1 R8 t y L
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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