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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will* d* S7 W# J" O$ s
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was0 ` d) {8 j4 d/ P+ p" g5 s
the other possibility.
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2 P5 e) ?0 z, c& y5 U) e3 ?! I! q" Q1 eAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English6 k; N' S0 A6 o& f& H; x8 Q
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
0 [, U3 X) E. d! bplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".5 Y1 a: w! u# V, f; A' k
% ? ]- O5 B; x% h3 l1 L7 S$ d. Q4 PIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make+ S$ M4 T5 b$ `' x. U
the sivil servants jump with joy.0 I( ]4 c: S- q: t( P0 b
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up" W* [+ C. b' [* Z% g. u9 W1 [
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.$ _3 T5 o [( t
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0 l/ {! E" `* O p$ b/ h% uThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
2 Z$ f/ B' w9 G; [troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like4 p; C8 s W0 p$ X
fotograf 20% shorter.+ G; Z4 m6 S$ K1 x* _/ N
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to4 S" [, q! N, D3 T6 r0 w) b. A( D
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.( k) H; {+ O8 W2 p
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always( k- f7 y3 Q! z% h. k, I' S; a
ben a deterent to akurate speling.5 i. ~3 n( ?6 \
9 y6 T7 Q" m2 P5 A+ K# ]Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
" [% r* B5 k4 H" k: G+ @disgrasful and it should go away.
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+ a$ C( X* ^- ^" e) r: [9 ?By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with/ n7 N; B& l2 J' L" t! P
"z" and "w" with "v".
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+ k3 s9 ~) q8 s/ Q2 YDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
, h% e; V& J+ K/ F' V! P# Wafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.! X2 @( X; ~" V5 O, N
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu6 G0 |5 r% V' e- m3 z+ e
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
. i8 f N" M/ f5 [Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
3 N* Q- E& j3 |4 q& Nforst plas.% Y; U# V9 |# P. `
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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