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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
) s- v; ~1 x) O" y8 \6 `8 y0 f& fbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was I+ F9 n3 [5 T. I: e. ^% L
the other possibility.9 V0 X) W0 q. L- y* T5 A0 i( b4 I
' [: F* {: d* M" z: {As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
3 a7 a M5 O- O, I+ g8 Dspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
6 l' \; k* {. P( |' M* W! P0 Wplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".) ?% }. [$ b6 r, l8 e3 f
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
/ D4 |! \$ _; C- s9 Q4 C$ e& O1 x$ q) @the sivil servants jump with joy.% r" B/ G- e( P4 u
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up8 b- C8 y3 l4 n% J
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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; |$ T# j+ z i- O1 AThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
8 `* C7 h. a9 u, T; M6 c1 \% ~troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
( a6 P& {8 a3 V% o3 kfotograf 20% shorter.3 w3 [5 z8 ?2 S2 y& w' | |
( Z7 u" O% {) V$ UIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to1 j) U) w* G/ E1 t
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always( c% G O5 `0 D( H3 G
ben a deterent to akurate speling.: y: p; n' s0 l" W4 ^; q
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
/ Q/ |1 X. U3 L E7 Ldisgrasful and it should go away.
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with: {3 `, |$ s5 n: }% m; m
"z" and "w" with "v".
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) _$ T$ l* l" C! jDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
" R! w1 J: w8 N. W, z; y: p* G7 yafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
3 Y: F4 `7 u( ?+ C4 wunderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.1 Y% S0 k$ p; N& |$ ]6 s; h% z
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
& `2 O, |1 o/ k& Mforst plas.
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- a4 [6 X* ?& }7 {If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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