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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
7 _ Y) m' y. G0 K3 Abe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
+ C/ f: V7 O, F b5 Vthe other possibility.
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English" |; V9 s& J6 E& E6 o7 \+ R" f/ T
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in2 e7 }* l W' N, W/ \
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".1 J9 B, ]0 u' O+ v
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
( a* n8 V/ I! h. d: I0 q! c1 Rthe sivil servants jump with joy.
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# H) H4 T% \3 s. Q% j- P+ tThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up# A7 }9 U9 }9 t, m3 ~
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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% e) j9 S4 T2 E" DThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the* Z( @; Z( B3 u& u/ i
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like- s: @2 f; m: N9 `1 U+ J
fotograf 20% shorter.- I6 R- [4 X) X4 {5 ?
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
! t0 K( Q2 s( V- I9 B( Preach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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' ]) h) R! r" {, T# u8 CGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
$ c$ ~/ W, v5 J# `7 P- M( _ben a deterent to akurate speling. v3 Z1 \* s6 b! w
! J9 X" K6 ]: W# W( wAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
5 n ~0 f; T) L; y3 N8 ^* U odisgrasful and it should go away.
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3 t. n+ T, q4 y0 q, RBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with. O" m# w0 c x* P
"z" and "w" with "v"./ S+ S" s l4 j
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
+ U6 a8 i; @, G! S* i0 q2 Bafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.+ B) g; ?& T W v7 J
% r' f4 b# h1 ^% d' F+ aZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu; x3 H: `& g# Z/ e3 v5 o" _
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.) o, v/ ?, ?* x6 P
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze) j7 |! _+ E8 j8 x, n9 `# e7 C
forst plas.
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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