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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will& H# y& m' h# I8 R% u; ?8 E
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was0 d- p! q4 L, H) W7 Q
the other possibility.
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" I( W7 `" X* f! Y i J: ~8 kAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
' k* z. S+ `1 Q) T5 @) Dspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in: i- f7 v( s1 m0 r
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".5 K( a8 f5 ~1 C* H
' ~0 Y2 A. g' Z6 L# L* F7 k2 }4 NIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
; Z- q. J5 [4 v# @" k* Dthe sivil servants jump with joy.
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up9 \8 [6 R5 B9 m3 K
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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9 K4 c. [1 a( D' J- c. m9 W- F6 U0 A4 F0 I) S/ I1 k+ Y0 v |
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
/ X& M6 X) S! k+ S9 ktroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
3 F& V( s( d6 D S0 D" afotograf 20% shorter.
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to7 k5 \) Q/ C& p; w# C
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible./ N& z' ]) Q$ \" p& @3 w! Y
: J h5 J9 J6 q+ @" tGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
- g ^; ~) e$ sben a deterent to akurate speling.' @( {! V: Y4 c$ ^
0 Q; L$ i9 t: BAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
: ^ }4 R. |9 @2 Kdisgrasful and it should go away.; I* ^$ O# t- x4 R3 D. R
) E8 W5 ^6 |2 MBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
5 l; |1 i5 E: \4 l6 Y"z" and "w" with "v".
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/ M8 j: i: I3 w7 Y# y. I1 ?During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
. Y; S- a b, |after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
0 T6 n+ d, c: w5 W% ~1 yunderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
1 m2 T& L4 S; j2 ~Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze( A* [$ d: M7 r- M
forst plas.5 U9 y# R' H; Q8 _
0 L# S: _4 w8 c/ D3 ~5 FIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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