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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will/ ~: Y8 M _- W2 R. j) p2 V
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
, i0 O4 o5 k/ [) Rthe other possibility.
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
$ Q8 x5 }- s: c8 a" x4 sspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in# c7 f5 y4 R) m! ?" ?
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
: m8 C, X5 z9 X6 l$ r- @4 d) rthe sivil servants jump with joy.% f/ Z, R! P0 @3 Q1 ?* @* s+ f
! G; E8 p" o/ m$ TThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
+ W7 Z( p% Z9 U2 Y7 H1 U5 n! pkonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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3 y/ K- y0 U! L* z/ N0 MThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
& E7 Y/ F5 t0 @; `' v$ Ktroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like2 l- u r0 H2 @( W
fotograf 20% shorter.* K# z1 K' {9 e' f
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
( v7 B- S8 Z- x f4 Kreach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.+ U* h s9 `" z0 m) J
* \2 _# s4 ]/ X; t2 cGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always' _$ `' r: s1 `
ben a deterent to akurate speling.2 {) s" A/ a) e
. u% S" w: X e& d2 p7 |/ i5 DAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is; |0 W5 g5 T x- q* i2 o- Q* \( t
disgrasful and it should go away.( k! {; P0 O f8 @4 m* v
- ^, ?" Q9 U4 ~" w2 J# S; ?) GBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
; Z) R8 ~ H. q7 A"z" and "w" with "v".6 W. t2 I6 D _
- n" [, K2 l/ B% W% eDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and( S; {9 j. X! d7 L0 I( }
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.( ]3 E$ z4 v% W' r, N9 F0 b& J& C
" i2 d" h7 O6 _8 f- GZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
' H) C5 f( T0 h, Yunderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
* y7 V' I7 \& I# {$ dUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze+ {8 p7 b; |5 [. `6 i/ Q, Z
forst plas.2 A+ A) b. ^& ?* t
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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