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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
- j$ k: B. i( x" mbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was5 ^, C% ~: ~) `" \! M! U2 `: f
the other possibility.
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English- B- r( d9 a( W- b$ v$ c/ R' D$ E
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
* x( M7 e1 F) J7 Bplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make4 v: ]4 g$ N5 d+ {! I$ u4 G X
the sivil servants jump with joy.
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/ u4 ?9 F) p0 N% eThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up4 G3 L( W1 w8 w. ?! O: Q
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.( o% ], c; ~4 I! C) `
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the# F" k q5 e& }% l' u
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
2 ]$ j( ~) [& x, Q$ _! Y5 sfotograf 20% shorter.
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
, N6 ^0 d/ Q7 E) Treach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always* ?: j9 n! i% P0 [
ben a deterent to akurate speling.; z, {. W; S0 P! Y( g
8 [& k, R2 D; h# G' QAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is* E1 R0 w- f9 y0 ~1 n N
disgrasful and it should go away.9 O0 j* S4 ?/ o+ f* [: h
( H, K$ }( F& b. n( ?1 q7 wBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
; B. ~' Q; q1 x"z" and "w" with "v".
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
- W( m3 c1 V% |7 q/ P0 bafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.$ S: C3 h6 U4 T7 E" G; j
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu! m; o6 z% H/ M' n
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
, b, I( g6 e$ w( L8 [" P0 ]Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
: v( b8 B0 Y: G0 E0 c6 d: M hforst plas.
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, `1 L5 V/ b6 r) u, v5 x3 K& ^If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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