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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will$ B& q/ f$ l/ X' V0 ~
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
& F6 ?" z" T# q/ Ithe other possibility.
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; `: J+ I& w+ oAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English4 K, v9 v k" |$ y$ L
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
( ?& D; x8 n6 ^/ fplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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: u0 Z5 `& m* N& O: vIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
( @$ w$ R9 b: N1 g( |6 bthe sivil servants jump with joy.
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
5 I. X m9 g1 d; ukonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.; y# z5 z- _$ g, K/ ~6 `
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
$ Z" h, E9 K, |& ztroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
5 j3 o) m T* W- W- r& efotograf 20% shorter.# N+ j+ T- q8 F
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
- `! b L. I9 I2 N( h# s0 Y. l) d6 Yreach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.8 \4 h7 e. `4 Y9 O! G! p
* Q9 D# q; k1 D3 y& Y4 QGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always% c* n2 a$ f/ S9 Z# B9 Y+ H; r
ben a deterent to akurate speling.
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- v, \; N( c2 M6 uAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is! N; O& V+ v9 s8 d5 l0 n
disgrasful and it should go away.
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with! N1 M$ m& {9 k' n
"z" and "w" with "v".
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and" U1 z* {" @4 `/ z& }6 B4 s! _
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu+ U6 X- P! S& p2 M
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.% ~* H& x/ R# K2 m( X/ J9 o( X: |+ }% L
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze4 x! Q3 W0 t2 m' y
forst plas. L2 l& ^8 H) p7 W
1 _- C; w% N' K) _, ~& F: }If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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