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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
8 h) k+ S& @7 S9 z7 |) j5 Jbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was- e0 v5 [3 ^! [
the other possibility.+ h: W: k% s0 E0 C+ s9 [) h
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English/ R. X( J, x& {9 w. W9 c7 G9 M
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in: K- r! q0 g3 l m' G% a
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".* u' M- S7 Z5 B, n3 A3 h! I5 U
- u0 M; P3 J9 Z( A/ S$ x3 qIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make0 t4 x9 o2 W& @3 t
the sivil servants jump with joy.
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$ \* o* s& u$ B: @9 xThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
1 E: s7 p7 J+ j( z2 y. Ykonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the5 L( q- |) I3 C& W
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
! M0 ]5 k, \# j4 s5 ufotograf 20% shorter.
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' B+ d, L( B. P3 d( \: tIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to& X I4 _4 x6 t* v$ L
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.) Y) H6 @, R; K9 k- |( V
' s6 }, @* x, v5 S7 B- w; X, ~Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
2 {- y+ b! v$ e( [6 hben a deterent to akurate speling.
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T7 r" X0 C3 @ E8 hAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is9 C# ~, d8 b! F3 }# n* P
disgrasful and it should go away.2 i( S- v( o; P5 R. [/ ]$ w3 S
2 E0 L& x4 U1 {/ |! L5 |By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with; J4 |# j. w/ W+ A% L, e
"z" and "w" with "v".0 s2 M$ t" X0 V& W7 g$ S
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
" A2 E0 m' V$ Yafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.1 o7 D& x* J# h1 j! ]6 K* X
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
' A' p- n( u) O/ \' ?, s8 i5 d+ Tunderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
* z" Z! w& M3 p) P1 O. pUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
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# ?- ?3 C5 `( ?! q* T* tIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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