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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will% e- c, T& h& }% C+ j! J
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was+ g; J4 A# \" R3 @5 @* Q
the other possibility.5 k0 _5 V' s3 r ~ U0 S
( D. X) f+ ]! Q& c: o+ bAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
8 t: U* @* Z3 T, K7 j$ d9 v* m6 D; Hspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in' a; J7 s% s9 g- f
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish"." J# ]# m* m# r$ D
. f- H7 }; M1 M/ RIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make- i4 H% u$ y& s: f+ J- t
the sivil servants jump with joy.
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( U! ]$ T' k; Z, y2 Q; g+ CThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up) J5 R& R4 t7 Z3 p# e( G$ D
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.$ V9 S* f. i+ `
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
( {1 i4 k( r$ p, s% x" Ptroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
G/ s# \4 W4 _7 W, I' }4 N0 `fotograf 20% shorter.% a. N0 d. V9 k8 z7 T
3 s+ v! o' v5 D; i+ PIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
1 ]; ~! }4 u- E0 y; ^reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.! W" p7 n; A6 T2 `
9 o+ B; l0 q( |' W( }Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always7 }, p) W5 \/ E* E6 X( Z$ Z
ben a deterent to akurate speling.! a) o" q( D L* q& h C- N+ p( j
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is4 S3 a3 w A& O5 N
disgrasful and it should go away.
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
4 ?; l4 }0 A4 d2 G* [/ d"z" and "w" with "v".. X) t0 U- S. ?$ Z
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and9 p) M: U H [/ ?" W; c+ X
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.* b$ n% A) U: S1 `' L3 s3 C
* K% ~/ Y# {1 A4 d" g# S) `9 xZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu. C5 z/ A' d: j* j3 M5 y$ c( v. F
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
. Y# Q8 X* O- h( R( e5 L* L" sUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
4 f7 C3 J5 o' O; I0 Y+ X& d4 \) bforst plas.8 G" K& N" H* B$ T* Q
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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