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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will' H! x. g1 }& ^: g% Z% l
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was" o) Z: w/ c1 i! u* X' e
the other possibility.1 F1 t+ b c4 _+ V8 Z! D
z3 N& y, B6 e9 v$ b' wAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English" P% R' P, l( o& h- T9 J
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
: S, `- N6 k4 Q7 l* xplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make6 K, ]; `. q7 @
the sivil servants jump with joy.
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up8 T2 ^5 m9 q! |1 {, t
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.6 _0 N9 _& | G
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7 g- ]3 i1 x8 [' S1 nThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the* t# H0 \% q- h: E# c; S" B
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
7 Y) `: b( F' N2 p2 \0 l) F% pfotograf 20% shorter.: Z8 ?7 `) x' {3 v! W( r
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to: E/ F9 ^6 N3 Y' r0 c' r4 N
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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' c9 u& C3 o; A9 L B' Y) PGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
2 M; [+ l2 r y9 n6 eben a deterent to akurate speling.
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is. d: m8 e/ ^" C8 A1 r3 Z
disgrasful and it should go away.. i3 h& ~+ S/ l" K2 w2 a1 ~+ O
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
/ k" H8 I4 u5 c8 }. ]; ~ ["z" and "w" with "v".. j7 c+ i3 Q/ v) E T0 e
! q1 G" K3 a+ m/ X4 YDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and/ ]7 Y1 m" \, H- h6 I
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.8 S, x. i* G- P b+ g8 ]$ k6 R% ]
' W& `' r' U5 D+ qZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
2 G5 ?" @( e9 [9 _+ u: Zunderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.( ~3 T' z1 q' ?6 B8 z3 D8 q3 Q* z' I
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
# s+ u* q8 M$ x1 ]* o7 C6 ?forst plas.
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8 v3 P2 v& s0 M# P4 VIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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