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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will! p+ C* w% r6 A, e; \" ~
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was7 e% l, _6 q8 O* ~
the other possibility.
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7 C) L: _% W9 k3 h8 Z, BAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English4 h% B6 a1 p% @# e9 z
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
6 c9 X2 [1 ?7 ? k3 @+ {plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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9 x" n3 {& P1 W' Q' ^) v1 hIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make& w5 r( ^, y! C: H! ~
the sivil servants jump with joy.3 ]* [. ^% d0 m U2 Q6 N
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up) o" K$ k: ?) T8 T9 t* x1 s
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.9 _8 }: a3 o( x' Z
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s0 W5 j# o6 z% cThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
- j8 `" ~% h+ h* f4 a" Rtroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
/ C8 {3 h% s# ^% q+ S- hfotograf 20% shorter., m* S7 {+ b7 i8 G l2 M) F
6 O% O, P, P( @& @* A- u$ TIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
. U& |. @% ^5 {8 O- j( T3 x1 E' J0 xreach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always9 e: z. g, ^8 [' ?1 H
ben a deterent to akurate speling.& v* A6 r, |/ |, k2 |) N
' w( U ]$ X0 R6 c& zAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
0 m# ?0 J% z5 i8 a6 ldisgrasful and it should go away.* c) ^2 r+ r1 S" j# q3 m" a
6 _ X; \( L( T4 N H8 N3 l) X1 CBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
" r3 w' w) F B7 t# m* D7 D* s"z" and "w" with "v".' j# F$ W& z& r1 b0 C" ]
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
+ m( H7 [3 l1 o5 zafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.6 d8 x' h9 N5 }. T, h
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
. | v- }% L/ ~1 ]0 t3 C9 Qunderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
5 v' Y0 ?- f; t! e, aUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
/ `4 a" u, a) K$ z8 [forst plas.
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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