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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will: f* @) c* ~# w' q
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was. F( t$ t. J& e8 q) T' Q9 K0 N
the other possibility.
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
4 v) O6 ]. J8 ^$ n3 Fspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
/ v; l$ k$ r5 k! a2 Y/ m: Oplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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* L, ~# P7 X5 _" }9 eIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
" k) ]: V ?+ H/ A. W! U& Bthe sivil servants jump with joy. p& u, | }: a0 C" Q t
8 [) C$ g, F4 \" y- |The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
& A9 r' q$ `8 U1 {konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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( e4 d K6 m! b UThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
. B4 N6 U2 X( C) x: ztroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
4 d1 g" u- b3 Q9 \5 Vfotograf 20% shorter.' ^. l+ W2 Z; e6 o
* U0 e. A- F' t( _In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
; s7 C) O6 p+ m' a( k3 U. ireach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.' ?+ B1 h: s$ i) @/ _
, W: Z/ N8 y0 l6 X! ^Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always% I4 ~2 Z, W7 w. Y$ h5 A# z- X
ben a deterent to akurate speling.
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
& p7 \+ ~! P. `4 I4 {disgrasful and it should go away." C0 B2 Z* ?# K( m0 g e7 W+ d9 _
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
( `$ i: c% Y; \, I+ V/ F"z" and "w" with "v".
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
T2 `+ n% Q# r& l( C$ F& }after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu2 C3 w% J& T' t* u9 H: Y; \
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.# ^9 }7 ~/ m. o9 I- B
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
; c- D$ G {# Z, T( l' d4 Mforst plas.
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8 j+ `! Y0 C& t% A5 RIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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