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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will z* b3 q$ U5 [) E, q6 n; N0 ^
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was! }% r$ ?% i& }1 t: u4 o( T
the other possibility.% J$ g. f/ Q; y6 j% r ^( [+ S
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English6 I% e/ Q7 g& R, x3 e
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
& {% f2 e4 E* v* |3 Eplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".4 \; A3 f5 O& u( I! D3 _/ r
0 u+ b3 o4 ], M' |" V) k5 Q' _* @8 iIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
6 }) {4 f0 n. c9 U$ N- s# fthe sivil servants jump with joy.
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
" \% O: u; r# K6 _" ckonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.& ?7 p' b$ M6 n U4 R
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, D/ Y" j1 j! T }: n; Q) }: ~There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the1 J# X& V8 P0 z3 a* f! @ Q- M
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like( }4 D$ r( Z- J7 p, ^ v0 E
fotograf 20% shorter.
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6 P9 ~8 M8 B8 m/ X) A: |8 i- DIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
+ a4 L! G6 p$ F+ t- `7 xreach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always3 C1 b1 M) ^, g' ~: }7 Z
ben a deterent to akurate speling.
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
' c% @) n3 L$ g& u qdisgrasful and it should go away.3 B+ p0 I, B9 w6 C2 h- i
' t8 o: e/ r! sBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
/ m( ?$ q( M7 i9 z. S* @" {% W"z" and "w" with "v".0 _3 _+ O! i; o
# I1 P" ?# R0 hDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and) [, J; ]: P- u! o( D
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.! [8 X/ u1 s h9 F
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
1 Z$ g, r" L5 Y' S. y/ munderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
, w6 l8 P1 E0 { ]. L/ d# w$ bUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze7 Q" f/ S8 t( {0 J( Y! k
forst plas.
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) P+ j& E% { p5 b$ F) CIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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