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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
3 ~! j& u& F1 D! H. nbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
& c9 n O8 ?% y+ }. V# kthe other possibility.
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" o- S! h; O$ w' jAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English3 r2 K3 P7 m4 M, s
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in4 h" Z) M5 H, W/ W
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".4 \. t- |7 u! ~" M
, P+ z9 w3 Z5 v' Z5 D/ `' Q! ~In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make, F! N7 G( _6 b" Y$ I4 d
the sivil servants jump with joy./ z# M5 c7 j! \
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up7 c4 g% s" H8 V6 ?& c+ u6 T
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
+ }7 ?9 p. V& X5 ytroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
: \5 X9 _8 o$ n5 kfotograf 20% shorter.
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7 I4 r, B4 I! H2 C5 E$ d1 bIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
( N; [ A6 f8 V% @- B% S3 R2 areach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.; b# a4 ~+ {' a# z5 \/ `3 [
, F L$ m) I' u: V0 AGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always* q9 o( }" t: t% h( n# g, S
ben a deterent to akurate speling.
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3 t2 Q5 n0 t" z6 l: G( K& EAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
0 q" ]) N3 O" ^disgrasful and it should go away.2 ]& I) u5 b7 ^& r9 @
7 c5 b s: c7 hBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
- R J. n, [7 {. S7 U/ G4 d& I"z" and "w" with "v".4 g! v# n; |! |' R ]/ }" _
4 t$ I/ Y# K9 F! R& [+ S# hDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
+ s3 @9 T6 U4 O0 C9 w* r2 Cafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.; C/ A" d1 B3 f6 C7 G) a5 S+ |& w
. s! w- w5 q1 G: ^+ k* eZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu3 X( _+ m7 K6 u& e
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
( p9 U4 b& K8 h' U3 c+ LUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze& p4 e) |8 T2 o* k+ u5 c! y
forst plas.
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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