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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
; \% N0 a4 |: w, A6 m/ q/ O! C: D2 [; Bbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was: P K$ r1 E( w; ?5 @
the other possibility.! B) h. k* q! Y
x: C" X% }% y3 RAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English8 Z, Z& u, F2 E+ z- s
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in* W- f) ]9 ?# J3 L2 L# T; s5 [) w6 b
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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% h: L8 ?/ T6 ]3 h7 w% n3 e% bIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
9 y" c; @3 V- f& S4 R- }; @the sivil servants jump with joy.. D) ]- B: u3 P9 q
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
+ E2 L+ v/ E5 r. V3 q* S4 akonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.( G3 \; l2 d, r' S
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7 a" L w' z* _: Q% l; L& }There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
. r D& N$ O8 j; S( [) ?troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
) U: R2 l$ {9 z- mfotograf 20% shorter.
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8 t6 b! L0 O# B2 [$ ^1 b$ v. v/ ]In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
! @0 u# O5 C; K. ]% f. Areach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.$ k* i+ N0 t& ^9 A+ R$ S
3 j: h A( b/ DGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always2 X+ d; P* ~0 D
ben a deterent to akurate speling.
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- |! X- A9 y$ P6 s2 k! z' p2 V: SAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is& e' V, M* g( u9 r, G7 O
disgrasful and it should go away.
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
& t) ^1 r" I) Y2 _( d* K# t+ ?"z" and "w" with "v".
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and# ^4 L% N9 H- {- r
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.7 P( Q, K/ @" c9 v3 A6 o, ]
f. f- H- c$ I% L- c
Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu! ?" Q) Q3 @- X2 x9 T/ v N7 K
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.3 f% @* p5 p% T! p
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze* @. `5 t: y# f8 ?+ S# B
forst plas., r& d3 h/ |$ k; S, ]( s' u7 l- w
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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