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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
# K1 s0 h1 F, ^3 d; Jbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was+ [ ]7 U5 {' Q6 T0 W# D; H
the other possibility.
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. {& T: p0 y% g9 r. |: l/ iAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English( k2 N) m: V7 V! h
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in* n J7 C- ?. h0 ^8 q: s8 \7 q9 |# D
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".6 g8 `, J3 M3 n# T/ R# Z( k2 V
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
' d2 D9 d5 t& I8 sthe sivil servants jump with joy.* b2 N% q: O& t; }
! a6 o3 w8 d' H @! H5 |! iThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up p4 f% F' }* L# A; T& ] m
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.% T) _' r( R: b- t, S8 n, @% Z3 _
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* u7 p! D4 [; q$ p1 ?, d- } U: k( X6 PThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
" a+ n" b& ~ c$ g; r' c7 ftroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
( q) l( X2 w3 j2 l6 n8 d9 ifotograf 20% shorter.
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to$ y" x9 |! L+ q0 O% h1 }
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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3 q3 v( D+ _ q3 {; n5 K8 WGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always. W6 p! K+ `: i M1 x& A. ~6 T
ben a deterent to akurate speling.4 s l0 c! X) E# A' V. g
" \1 H5 A/ P3 NAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
( v! E3 s0 ]3 @' M; pdisgrasful and it should go away.+ v$ F1 J9 G$ E' P& y+ J# O. |9 O
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with. b- a& { L. W5 u1 ^
"z" and "w" with "v".$ U- a/ M" k, u9 I" d! q
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and( \ ^9 \" |+ P
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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1 r# p7 O! T+ d0 i, x& \Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
$ n U4 E5 J, V0 ~: l5 r; g" j( u( G0 Bunderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.. g; t, d& s. g
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
+ Q8 B* T1 \8 ]: L% X4 m# f# eforst plas.% I) K8 s6 Y3 W( U/ O7 T5 r% ?/ o
5 t! b$ |$ z. J3 p" kIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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