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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
; k+ Z8 W3 P# h2 a- v7 n Kbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
1 T1 q q# J$ N( L8 V# Mthe other possibility.
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English& G0 p, b' U/ Z! m3 q( T
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in5 c1 ]% m: j0 ^6 ? ^3 m& j5 ^* \
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make2 l) N! [2 c. R t* Z# }* h
the sivil servants jump with joy." H6 E( V5 w9 _8 `7 r
* x/ j' R: z( mThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up v1 M$ Q2 N1 t( k3 i) f% R% `% ~
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter./ r- F# L3 [* m4 M* I; Z0 |" J
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the/ ~; u3 U h8 z+ i( p5 d
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
% v. r" R, R) j9 T( {fotograf 20% shorter.
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to" g) {7 {: {# w$ a* T1 u2 o& f: I
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always2 m' E |0 D9 a+ a9 J+ c
ben a deterent to akurate speling.$ A. f& ^ h8 _! L
! G% }) Z u- Y, C2 PAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
8 G' x* u7 d$ a" Q& V5 Gdisgrasful and it should go away.
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/ r0 p& z( t. v% ^" v; _By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with/ O4 O% v% X$ v* k5 Y
"z" and "w" with "v".6 z. `% x8 F% @8 z* f5 B3 w! n
3 H8 N/ \! F9 [6 o% [6 R: d) LDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and$ |! |+ \& L6 u1 a1 s7 V, w
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.& \) z7 U" M; W- i& X7 l' n
/ ?; {5 P1 S6 JZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
. O4 q2 V! r$ L$ e0 J& munderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
/ [; f: F5 ~' e/ B6 QUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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