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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
& c) w& r% i0 |% h7 T2 c$ ]be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was( W# V% }1 ~5 v- f; z
the other possibility.: y# d7 R) p- R9 A5 J9 L
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English1 {, r6 z" W$ n& ? k+ o! i5 x" h; v
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
. [. n: a# x4 L- S+ j2 kplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make T3 X4 E: G( v+ D8 c4 U
the sivil servants jump with joy.
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4 ?4 ^4 U5 I# D' y+ I7 r+ \The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
/ B% R2 V% W" I% C1 w& t0 N! tkonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.8 k* Y t7 R& a; r/ D
g+ {" v& U& f$ v1 |% F, p0 w& A
, W6 i* d& Q4 v: [% hThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the0 e0 A! L1 T- K2 K2 v
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like( S# L! k$ G4 X5 x: T
fotograf 20% shorter.
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to9 M7 D3 q: j7 z6 L' ~
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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$ l/ `3 F# _+ {1 TGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always1 o+ q3 L! W) N3 d( w
ben a deterent to akurate speling.
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
- u$ F, o* D) y# b9 {+ Rdisgrasful and it should go away.1 m# r$ C) s( b. M; {: u6 U& A6 ?
' G8 Q# V. v( T; \By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
( M8 E4 Z$ H+ x2 v* e. B+ \"z" and "w" with "v".
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and J6 o+ {1 i5 _. q" E
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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0 |# P% J, Q+ }+ \Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu9 E7 O; d3 n7 @3 ]. q
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru. l. y0 A8 w3 Q( }( U7 B3 A
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
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5 O7 }; \+ `% JIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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