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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
9 J: K: N' |* e# u+ {) d wbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was) D( x# E' ?* W% G' x, O- N" n6 D! m8 x" K
the other possibility.' P' s. S# `) Z$ P) j
& F# t+ [$ {. X4 {$ F5 X2 LAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English0 _- K: g- M$ l
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in, s; e7 g7 G% e6 |
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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+ A- U8 c9 ]% ~% UIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
' l6 p; i1 |9 R3 ithe sivil servants jump with joy.9 S7 b' \- E6 T/ j, g" ?
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up& j# K- |' c* B2 s5 ]% B) n
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter./ [- ^2 |4 t5 E
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
! d- H. s. B1 R" k7 v1 M2 Ctroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like3 T y+ x! F' {5 d. C
fotograf 20% shorter.
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
) F0 N7 t/ @5 ?* Hreach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always+ i0 L1 x, \; m* S
ben a deterent to akurate speling.8 H L3 |0 J$ e5 X% A( C4 s
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is( D* p& V) y6 m1 x U
disgrasful and it should go away.
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
" v! |% u4 x. s6 j0 @( r"z" and "w" with "v".
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u4 D6 k- Z$ g4 b: XDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and* m6 g4 o: n. m
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.8 r+ N0 H: |9 o3 d
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
2 Z0 A' I8 [2 h" nunderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
( a( i8 N* i0 j3 BUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
. b( C; e# F! |: ^" Aforst plas.
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8 J3 z; m3 _% p8 ?1 v* y. vIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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