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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
5 i+ Y2 E1 h1 x* b: Bbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was. M$ B b8 e$ `9 F) i+ s
the other possibility.
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
" n/ m' Y! l! x7 X' ^spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
2 Z1 z5 N2 F. m/ k0 R5 K, k4 Kplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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7 B1 o& i) x; e- v2 k5 i5 s6 xIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make" y6 o( @4 W1 S' r! g5 R4 ]* l) e
the sivil servants jump with joy.6 ~/ N6 ^* ?7 j
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up" p4 i X% r% E* C4 y, t
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.! Q4 J1 c" v A& \8 A; x
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# }3 o8 R5 U$ M. ]2 N7 \There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the) _$ }# _! } Z, V; \
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like% B# i* O: {: X, ^ q( w
fotograf 20% shorter.8 q$ V: t* {5 N+ q
$ O. D/ V3 M& J; j. h7 x: ^ n# JIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to2 L7 X) X, G) a% Z% P
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
+ [1 c& u/ |! i- t: ~2 i4 @- Xben a deterent to akurate speling.1 c) G3 ~( v/ _1 o; ]( [+ t
8 n; r$ c6 }# `6 BAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
) R9 z$ q ^, \9 [disgrasful and it should go away.
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with2 N) K/ P! q. q6 I1 I8 J2 [
"z" and "w" with "v".' i% v( h! T+ X: I2 _& W
9 a( g/ P! y5 Z9 r( J: `" uDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and7 }( N) k" a* S6 V: u; [3 ?
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu4 L2 M5 T/ v/ q& r4 @
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
4 v9 o/ h/ V/ I/ x- @( x( ~0 _Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze6 ]4 S6 q9 {* Y. @9 T
forst plas.
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9 U3 B8 B5 i% d/ v6 [If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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