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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will- I- G$ ^# o( H! v2 p% ~: c+ Z
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was( h: z& ~" N8 A$ u- x( [
the other possibility., d7 O9 Y1 d% [8 j% }* ]5 Q
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
: E8 i' s% R' }5 c# r7 k7 `/ D) \, `spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
+ k4 c1 L" L: Z7 V& `& @$ qplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
0 o( D9 Q$ h# ]1 t& H" q8 Wthe sivil servants jump with joy.
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
: S" p4 k4 x; }( f3 Rkonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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8 \1 F4 U- g6 [3 J: V# s, M- V) _7 LThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
1 `' D( c* S4 j: ~; W: \troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
8 ^6 T7 H, ^0 y8 Ofotograf 20% shorter.
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: ~0 {4 E! R6 a6 J# h: ]6 t# vIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
! Y$ i; H3 a ]3 Y" @/ Ureach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.4 s. w& E3 J2 P
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always- i3 y# { z4 F; \# A4 C
ben a deterent to akurate speling.! {5 W! S7 d: ~" O' v
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is$ P# v( n7 I' `" N% T C0 a$ {6 B0 a
disgrasful and it should go away.: m0 B4 ?0 j9 c' c/ }0 G" U" d
: p) a! l2 {$ \* o1 KBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with- {7 K7 v8 O& u
"z" and "w" with "v".3 u& z0 }! X+ J% g2 ?4 l
3 f# y* I2 H2 R7 q4 U/ wDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and. r: w! q2 o5 x5 U1 L s
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.& b: \" B( x! b# G: \
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
4 v! N" ~0 O8 t) g% w0 B. Bunderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.9 ^/ n& @. x( v( E0 s5 t; `
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
5 U8 u- {/ ~1 g7 gforst plas.
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% U7 \( p4 ?3 B7 _$ GIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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