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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will4 ^$ ~0 T s: [) s- M
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
# z0 K& H6 v" E& ~8 `( Y" s" othe other possibility.
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English* o& c3 `, F+ K
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
8 M7 o( t$ [. ?; Oplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".& i9 U6 K- X$ G- L0 s
/ S9 G- g8 @& Q/ l5 \7 ?( hIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
# C1 z/ v3 E2 v8 X; A: r6 mthe sivil servants jump with joy.: t* t* u: T4 }1 B& P
# q" I) `5 f9 l8 f4 v" ZThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
, e( e1 B2 b* qkonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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8 R( ?# n0 C. |" w0 z; L+ v2 DThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
( t l0 w1 D7 u: d; x% J) `4 dtroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
" K& Q# s/ d2 F0 e0 N7 x; ] [3 kfotograf 20% shorter." C2 R2 A( \/ N5 I! U) H' L0 q7 Y& [
# Q; o3 W) b0 ^" y2 jIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to6 P g6 D! U8 H6 t# x
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.* y. K5 \/ l% n% c/ c& c
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always) v# _% l2 q# S1 E1 b
ben a deterent to akurate speling.
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( b6 O$ b1 t KAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
4 W( N( X$ ^0 Gdisgrasful and it should go away.7 v( G$ X, f9 ]/ \6 g' U( m
0 C- h* v, F0 h2 D3 XBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with* Y# Y& p: q+ h4 K% ?0 M7 s
"z" and "w" with "v".
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5 n; m! O. K; y6 P2 s1 GDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
j# z+ }# n5 y* v, Cafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.3 X$ k, i+ l6 A. w8 W
' C) i: }, S' M. DZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
$ w) I( C8 r0 |) N" C7 m, _understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
5 |# K1 g2 q$ N7 B8 C- ~5 BUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
6 }+ z8 y, `! d" P) f; t; Sforst plas.
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. I) X8 T4 i- r! W9 G" i0 EIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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