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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will& r6 _; x9 L) N# ^# ^1 o5 S- R/ M% B
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
0 V1 _: E) l- J+ @& x sthe other possibility.
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{; a N/ V) l% |) IAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
! ?$ K. a; U s" P; Qspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in, R: o: [) X# [* l
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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! a) ~% O( R" ?% C( @In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
% s, ~9 u7 ?, G9 I8 S% Uthe sivil servants jump with joy.
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up/ m' n" P& O9 B8 k6 L6 n+ H" v2 N
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.1 q1 j$ }) U" ] a. @! v
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( ^' ^! h. T k, U8 C+ P4 n7 X3 UThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the/ X+ a& f2 o' I0 R: P9 R
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like& }' p" _" x! @- e/ g/ E* U
fotograf 20% shorter.
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
% A5 E, ]) r# M+ J1 X* n6 C% `0 t! r4 {reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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a% \& o4 i1 P! u4 g( `Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always. }8 W0 C7 ~6 H: Y6 y
ben a deterent to akurate speling./ V7 I x: ^$ ]/ A9 t
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
c* u- J2 s$ A r% P* f9 P# edisgrasful and it should go away.( q* y* U9 e; g1 C
5 t- a/ V5 r" f: vBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with( X7 L$ n& I/ M, z
"z" and "w" with "v".
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* I; _2 n) s @7 |During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and# E4 y# u; j! ?5 M/ m$ V8 i/ Q" G4 c
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl., p6 K5 T9 v" c2 f$ E) B" q
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu2 H' s) q& _2 o# |/ O7 B% K
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
5 I: T, x. n. fUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze/ a$ {& p( X3 V7 j0 ^" N8 O S
forst plas.
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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