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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will q# J9 P! p! J& s9 P9 t
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English Q% }7 V2 c1 C% V
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
- `8 v# X0 Z% @0 j" Z0 Wplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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% ^; x3 V* B$ b* EIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
) y. ?' P, z5 ~the sivil servants jump with joy.
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5 ^1 c) o/ y3 L, U4 {The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up* l, S! N! ~/ c% @" s
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the& ?4 [2 O; l: A3 X I6 E$ k' ^
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
* p9 f2 |1 b! _0 K2 a+ E9 bfotograf 20% shorter.
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; v2 G/ P. }, ?In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
! f+ @6 k6 ^& ?1 K7 i( N! @; ]# b; @' ureach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.: O' p2 p/ s' w& Y9 X& p0 y# d
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
* ~. ]5 E6 A" p _; n5 Y, s0 pben a deterent to akurate speling.
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
0 M; a \$ c! _disgrasful and it should go away.+ F: P0 `, Z. Z( A
! M! ]0 Y8 s) s- @! j9 IBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
( B6 ]5 K3 x' ^"z" and "w" with "v"." Z' T M, M8 I9 y2 @
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and: h1 h3 f5 ^& T. Z/ Q9 p
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl. k4 _" E* N Y9 G5 G
+ a+ ?. y0 j3 h( ]Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
5 w1 F F, P) U) t! X- uunderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.+ F- C5 H" r4 Z4 c- |
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze4 x3 ^0 G) b0 D3 Q% x$ ~
forst plas.) W, @. l6 S; F
! J) p; O( f- OIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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