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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
1 E- t/ o. W. W1 @* ~be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was* E+ {6 {& Q5 }, [8 p
the other possibility.6 w T5 i* J; Y& w ~# K: g+ S4 f: f
% Y5 E2 l# @3 \3 t1 `5 hAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
$ I1 }! m2 }% C& @1 ]spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in6 B$ f, Q" M% X% r# O2 O0 C
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make" u5 s! b1 M; u) a! _
the sivil servants jump with joy.
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' x |: y7 t( z# XThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
9 ]& f) U5 }6 {5 r$ b Okonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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1 ~) r2 a8 y8 ^There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the( L9 D2 I8 f* ?; A
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like( s# W: l6 K/ z M
fotograf 20% shorter.! i+ r9 G# D' j1 P4 K6 g) d
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to* j, H2 }; C, d9 \" J' |, h% m
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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9 u! N- X. ~1 i! p! BGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always' B6 M9 @2 s' I# Y! v+ w
ben a deterent to akurate speling.7 x' Q! X* _* u* h
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
- K# k, \5 \3 fdisgrasful and it should go away.
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
f' t. A. c2 _& p* d( @8 ]"z" and "w" with "v"./ t7 E6 e% }0 Q
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
! l1 M- c$ l0 ?9 }( Lafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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1 C4 y# ^, A' Z# K4 IZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
; _5 y6 y% \+ n/ [9 t qunderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.6 n9 s4 C8 v7 X( y' a W/ p
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
2 F7 R$ @( J2 o" v1 W2 mforst plas.
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7 B/ f, D# W/ DIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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