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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
8 }; ^7 B" d. a, ~2 s6 Ibe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
( p& x9 }# T7 `' N0 y% [; Dthe other possibility.
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% B) b& g7 A# |. GAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
4 e& k- _4 }0 [; m4 H- Hspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
" A$ ?+ h' P% Eplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
( u& `* Q2 P! _4 ~, Lthe sivil servants jump with joy.
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. u, Q8 C4 i% CThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
& Z0 o8 q& c" b. o+ P% u) rkonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.$ b/ t. a- f9 |' r+ {7 f7 d
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4 X1 \. N! A0 wThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the! x1 G! x( `& J! g6 `/ A) w" w
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
% H+ B: B3 U& y5 R: tfotograf 20% shorter.
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& |( W3 r! s0 U/ k) b* F$ {, i9 y' F8 \" ?In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to2 B3 e' U: i9 F
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.+ G: e9 h5 D9 C1 ^$ z: U9 b' h2 S: v
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
% o6 A/ H8 A. Y) y; X/ f! r, `2 P8 _% vben a deterent to akurate speling.
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is) u# [: w# n8 F( ~' r3 C7 \5 Z
disgrasful and it should go away.0 r, u7 D9 f; I1 i
: }# t! g6 [/ K- GBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
: P* w7 n" G( e+ H4 P- ?"z" and "w" with "v".
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
# Z7 q9 O! Y) _# V( uafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.+ Q; v4 k, B3 @! Q2 A
. O5 P- b7 D" L! x/ b, O2 xZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
% f$ X4 Y: @' kunderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
, Z! Z( C- S. K# ~Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
) H# m& f" w/ s. q8 n5 a2 c7 o( bforst plas.
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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