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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
) g! O; _% Q$ T# T+ j3 \be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
, ]( c+ g9 b1 a d; j1 Jthe other possibility.
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5 d9 ~5 N( p; d V/ SAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English8 y$ A+ r9 c+ n4 h* L: E
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
- c- u# k: @: dplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish"." Q+ n4 u4 ]/ m6 [5 t
) Y# p6 d" b8 nIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
- }* D' I5 r, i* }the sivil servants jump with joy.
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0 N; T( {$ Q3 J" j0 A1 qThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
7 W1 n5 A. S! E* \! w& z8 gkonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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" O' t$ a ^& Z, S' K. w# a& r+ D' wThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
; Q) u; M5 Q& C3 ttroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like% D/ m4 l; J1 g0 \, C# m* j" v
fotograf 20% shorter.
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to7 [" f; Y6 g. x& z, T- n
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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) T+ A& t9 ?6 ^# [7 ]Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always/ l. X! a0 a1 \/ v
ben a deterent to akurate speling.4 x6 k- ?$ G7 J( ~" ]5 k3 j
7 k3 @% ?9 _1 e+ @& `1 T eAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is& _1 _% y( |4 G6 B3 E" ^3 W
disgrasful and it should go away.2 B, H2 [, d9 C8 E) i# j' K
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
! w# u7 e! Z Q: u"z" and "w" with "v". U& j0 C) a: ~3 E# O
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and6 {# r# R) S. ~9 y# t) @3 d( x2 y
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.' q; G" h$ E- B$ p
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu# d; ~ e. f+ ^8 Z( i0 T
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.$ {# C* p. _4 H6 e
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
6 r6 x; Q: S* e* Q6 \+ c. U0 @. K7 nforst plas.; c6 z' d* X% ]( L$ A2 r
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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