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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
6 A8 @. k; @; }+ ^% tbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was$ f% r/ ]& s$ x5 w0 Q9 Q/ E: M7 w
the other possibility.5 C# ^( @( Q: N% x. ?
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English3 Q6 M, r, E) w+ T3 l
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in! [2 O" G V; w% h# J8 ^
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
! u1 R9 _' A+ D2 v othe sivil servants jump with joy.
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up- S8 d+ w$ |8 N# w% C/ z
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the ^6 Z2 |/ |1 {4 E& \- f; N% W
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
/ u. r z) L& \/ Z; rfotograf 20% shorter.' X' F6 B) ^) g( [ y- O z2 S
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to$ s8 ]; f# b! l# T6 n) d/ l
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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8 B" J3 e. B! X; sGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always" S+ r& m3 V/ g: S9 Y
ben a deterent to akurate speling.
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is+ u) U5 q# x8 E
disgrasful and it should go away.9 y* a, D- F1 l4 B. V _
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
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" j7 E& o8 a' b/ qDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and& g6 O* F1 a- _ }3 @
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.2 T$ x8 o% E+ A/ _
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu3 c5 r( `9 P( Q
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
5 y8 f% h9 d$ b$ ~Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze X5 |6 l" l( a& P o
forst plas.4 g6 q- m8 z( F+ Q$ {
: ^- Z9 x& [' A/ E4 RIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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