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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will) R" f9 Z7 g) j. H; V
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
* s/ P! ]9 S$ o9 P% K& Cthe other possibility.
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8 K4 ~& \: q) Q0 a. b, h$ A9 ?; R) lAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English7 X- ?% y5 i8 F( F/ U6 L, E5 s
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in' j/ a/ }* z. ~9 P' P
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make; M l& U5 X$ r) L% B% w; R7 e2 d
the sivil servants jump with joy.
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7 n& G* T. h8 z) }, u9 i2 W/ WThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
* M$ C0 {: w$ V* @' J$ o$ Skonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
& P# h9 I' f/ [1 Y3 H$ Ctroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like1 c2 f/ T5 Z L1 C3 b
fotograf 20% shorter.
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to9 H0 L/ ?/ \ q7 \7 `, F
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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2 o- y6 C7 s2 z4 uGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always' J" ]' g5 R' Z) }4 M
ben a deterent to akurate speling.
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5 o6 Y# e+ J' o$ n8 ] [- IAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is; x$ @+ x6 t7 `* N. Q5 V- h5 u- v6 Q
disgrasful and it should go away.
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$ Q7 U8 a* Y( y7 [- X4 A4 g2 yBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with5 e" [# \2 @$ D$ @0 ]* ~6 @" c) G
"z" and "w" with "v".4 b: }/ u3 f/ m- w2 S/ L
4 W5 l9 L! Z- `4 L- s$ `5 EDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and8 q- K$ {$ L" n$ s9 ]
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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. A$ l/ H. \; X5 s% w" E! ^Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu$ A7 ~, f1 K. j- I$ H# V
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
2 p. b; B# z% }- G0 Y( YUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
3 D' p! }& D& K' G1 d8 y& jforst plas.
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$ e- j. \. Q" A+ ]6 vIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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