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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will! {! j4 d5 o' u1 o
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was, F/ A0 e5 r0 {0 r! G: T2 d
the other possibility.
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English& [1 u9 f: z6 ~
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
9 e8 s0 G" A. ^6 ?3 y9 ] V" n3 ?2 Iplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".8 X- s9 Z+ E( a2 H6 k9 y
* R8 j" F3 a; q0 p) Q( HIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make" \* Y% k: f/ g: n
the sivil servants jump with joy.! J8 `% L T1 [
! h4 Z( t2 D7 i- o/ f1 AThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up3 ]; E# a1 Z4 [" e
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.% l0 B0 ]+ P; M" A @8 N
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* Z4 }) k7 z f3 @, M; p7 T8 HThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the& }; J/ F5 H8 H0 B
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
0 M: c, N; N9 D% N! |* g) Lfotograf 20% shorter.
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to; ~3 M' K' J1 q
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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- K) H ]) Z: D$ w7 E- V. b, SGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
( |- w+ u) ~ q e) ^$ P+ Wben a deterent to akurate speling.+ a; f+ i" \' ~6 c
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
]6 c( A5 K0 U+ l" g; ]. ldisgrasful and it should go away.6 p O' X( ]- G' g0 S# @
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
* ^$ }' F# Y! I; j& u- o"z" and "w" with "v".( d! I; ]/ F2 S% W
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
a7 Q. L1 A6 tafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu# x, Q1 Z: v9 g" D+ T& C) e
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.+ `" N3 s3 N; k2 a8 w
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
' C5 u2 `7 ]6 b" B2 L/ q) {( bforst plas.
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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