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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
5 N" T/ P! w2 h( Q+ g( | kbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was0 k% w" q& b+ o4 o' _6 S) ]; B
the other possibility.
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! z1 p {( o, V& kAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
$ J+ n* O$ P' w2 ?& b) qspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in( l* Z- B: i. {2 G" \( H9 p9 U# B
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".0 w: ~- d$ P6 ^+ y5 f1 _; [
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
3 n, a$ ^7 k7 H+ g% ythe sivil servants jump with joy.
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8 d) v9 [( q. i. [, GThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up6 c* V- J' i* k3 w0 B: Q
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the) c- D* J9 W8 o% c, k. K2 G
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
9 r5 w* X* a6 afotograf 20% shorter.
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: o( f: P0 S! Q4 V6 Y) K/ xIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
5 r2 I2 c8 l Z! d! d2 i# t0 treach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
* h- [. O$ W7 [; B* C9 b. b$ Y+ q; yben a deterent to akurate speling.' I& D% c: n, E
9 A9 K9 b6 w& r3 k, m+ Y* d/ t& t; [Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is B7 X! {" m' y/ I, {9 l
disgrasful and it should go away.
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
$ Y/ ~/ s, s( ["z" and "w" with "v".
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and: I: m$ |) l r. m7 t4 X
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.) g5 V2 k! P t I( N6 b z1 z
$ F2 L0 ]; n( u IZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu! `- [9 Z0 P- B% O" i& Z4 q
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.! n2 {3 {' J6 a9 E/ f
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze3 U# o# k9 Q' o& D
forst plas.
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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