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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
* S( v- p |* H* Sbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
5 l5 q7 l B; G) j0 rthe other possibility.9 f0 N3 p) ~' {- ]" K, q( B$ z
" F, _: g/ j/ _: [( UAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
+ X7 o" C0 d$ h2 s: h1 @4 [1 sspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in2 r+ V& t0 q& ]' H# R5 w
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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2 P, p1 Q, t$ b; L8 AIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make$ U. q) t0 I, e8 O
the sivil servants jump with joy.. T+ ^! v1 j( d- G8 T" J# ^
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
' ^; }1 U9 u+ c6 ~! x. Vkonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the4 R' q; [( S: K- R9 W
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like2 L8 I1 A6 g b4 \. w& l& ?/ Z
fotograf 20% shorter.# J- F0 J/ e+ A* R# U
/ S( F$ z7 K: ~+ n: n3 I0 zIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
/ v, ]" `# b3 X: [8 S7 Areach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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" l( c2 _ [7 ^/ n. N7 F2 GGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
4 G* ^0 I% P H, A- M3 o5 [3 n8 pben a deterent to akurate speling.
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& k( P! s& s% I% S/ u9 p- M1 DAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is% `* Q% S" D" R' }) b
disgrasful and it should go away.
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% o) Z7 ?/ d# A4 d$ T+ uBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
% Y% ^, _, s' u- @- g" ?"z" and "w" with "v".9 b' M5 a4 X: x7 q" B! `3 K- C+ U
: N' C& a" X6 b6 ]: Z1 cDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
: a6 A; I) G8 q* H+ Nafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.' W* ~( W5 H& T; A, A, m0 H5 O
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu7 X" i2 ^% ^" e# b0 D, q" c5 `
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
7 E. M" T9 t* |! t$ p7 I1 ?Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze6 g B2 m$ D1 H$ F
forst plas.
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) Z2 |9 c; I5 _1 r% d! EIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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