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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
$ H$ [: L( ]* w x2 `be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was6 u+ |% }4 U" ~% B
the other possibility.
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English- u) L. v% U$ {' s9 l
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
( L. m m/ G- {- o2 z& gplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".9 Q2 }4 Y6 C! Q* {
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
- s8 V/ G2 u4 ?7 L, N! {' H( nthe sivil servants jump with joy.
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; h' A8 i2 V$ g1 C! [/ dThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up& V, E9 f2 q- a$ V
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. ]( \1 z9 p1 L, P. r- n
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7 f* M9 G2 p% h0 bThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the1 Y0 W7 a; x; p) |' Y
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
. ]) u6 A, \! v3 Q; t( Mfotograf 20% shorter.3 `8 u2 C- d* E( p; f5 I0 K2 |
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
/ ` T+ G9 {# n4 `" f# Q" Q0 a' ^reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always8 A' e% u2 u/ _9 B
ben a deterent to akurate speling.1 ^+ x4 p6 Z: \5 v$ k# _
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
9 c+ z# q, q' T! y4 D+ q9 z) q- Zdisgrasful and it should go away." [; @7 a& q% d' S, \# l$ r7 ~# x K
" g$ g% b8 y# y: L8 i# R* QBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with/ Y L1 u- B& P
"z" and "w" with "v".
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5 q' I# U7 T: }2 @5 m4 ^4 jDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
! R# U# k# a4 M: D m' n7 ~after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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& Q) I( i. l+ @2 y1 `# l" j8 A! R+ hZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
0 @* v+ b5 V& D# _9 uunderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.& C4 G0 e. R, D3 y s6 i
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
7 f2 h! R/ I) O; zforst plas.
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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