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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
6 D7 L: O6 l8 `4 nbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
; r1 m) m8 Z& P+ X7 _6 Gthe other possibility.3 y9 C7 ?+ S) ?) ~8 e& ]- ~
0 ] `/ [/ {# Z( r& H9 J, P) rAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
; k; C' |8 U- H7 @2 }spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in0 G! C4 G. A; Q1 ~7 c6 h o
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make8 W- R8 R5 Z, H5 ^8 P- ?. u
the sivil servants jump with joy.! d3 f/ c2 \9 E* t
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up+ X3 B$ y% E: [; G( v0 c$ ^; D
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.) j% l0 z' q/ [4 M/ ^ z
G, |/ c. f4 d# S1 Z/ i
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
5 }' E) c, o! S/ v4 q% X* D1 Ttroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like: z* b2 B: }* G. r) M
fotograf 20% shorter.7 t1 K, k p H2 i* h
# b( L( M% G, |, U: P$ d) s! V$ ]In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to# o2 b4 f1 | R8 p" D5 ]9 U6 Z
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible." X- Q9 Y; Q) E+ e9 h" _
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
) x. K, g4 c+ s! H' eben a deterent to akurate speling.* E: B7 j5 G- `7 d. t7 U! E- g
& s4 ~8 Y8 E1 ~$ ^! Y& ]4 SAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is% c5 b! S" H8 V. I
disgrasful and it should go away.
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( s) C. t' G5 D; C6 j4 ] wBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with) L& n# T, D1 d. ^
"z" and "w" with "v".9 u3 Q+ D- w; i" ?$ A
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
& R! m t1 H: T7 v8 K( C6 y Fafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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$ T ]3 i, u1 K6 |# o- vZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu9 v* t/ q: T+ }* O
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.9 I( J! p; G# l' n( o2 v, ?" U
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
1 q' [5 F' L7 Wforst plas.0 Y, n$ ~4 J2 s- d+ B, A6 Y. o
# e9 b3 s6 f& b" W# eIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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