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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
) l+ E# B! u0 p+ Z5 p) tbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
3 d. b+ z5 u( u6 }the other possibility.
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: l7 B; E% g# c3 ^, y, n. vAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English' R% h% A) a3 e; B, \6 V. ]
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in5 t/ Q0 B# X3 d2 a' l% v9 j# K( j
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".: ~8 m0 t ]% r; x+ J( j& Z5 y
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make4 V2 F& l4 G" ]) l
the sivil servants jump with joy.
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
7 h6 T5 s o. V& i: f3 g" `konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.# w6 q+ M; W4 C
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the7 }* w. z5 ^0 J" T5 X/ p# b
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like& p8 m, r. B: g- ^! G) p- P
fotograf 20% shorter.
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& J- |' s0 h; H% j, s3 P4 _3 _; qIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to/ ^' ]8 _2 Y4 }% l4 C+ p; E5 v
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always- X8 X+ k& ~- n( z" h1 Z7 u
ben a deterent to akurate speling.. ]8 L9 d z8 H; \1 b
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
7 a- V; y. H M& D/ ldisgrasful and it should go away.
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
& j4 @ n- A2 \* k4 R"z" and "w" with "v".
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; U4 S9 f% Y0 ^" n" cDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and% K& [' q8 j- E( Q4 p* N: o" k& q
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.2 K0 V+ g5 v6 C
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
% P1 ~7 E. m. v; p2 d( Tunderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.+ c0 t+ G7 D+ o& f
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze" _* Z, y3 g3 [
forst plas.
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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