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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
- Q' o$ F' }. p: i# G6 R' G( e6 rbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
7 A% _; b. U+ @8 jthe other possibility.7 r( L/ [1 A O; k g, W% u8 W
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
' j( r v. p" pspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in. E6 E" C+ y' e1 L' @6 B$ o4 D" |5 q
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".4 Z+ V Q. g2 V4 K6 W( @
) c% @) ~; r% _$ ~" X3 A1 B- ?In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make8 B. j8 T: i8 p1 X
the sivil servants jump with joy.; Y2 A7 J: W' u( R
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up+ \- T$ ^4 R6 _7 B" Q3 i. e; Y9 X& R
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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) F3 v9 U4 g2 G6 R! j- g2 uThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
/ `' x; g. Q6 Q/ f; R: L, xtroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like( K# y. s3 h7 o0 n
fotograf 20% shorter.
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% e2 Z0 L) E. R9 |5 d4 {: g) ]In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to$ J7 P- Q- n; r& y: |% ]1 V- ~# ?
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible./ G& ~& N) @" [4 X6 |0 h) ^ D
$ s& x. I- Y6 F4 OGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always9 e; H& V* r L) `; u3 q& d
ben a deterent to akurate speling.
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& j1 I" B c( wAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is8 z9 Q- l2 G# i/ F: H+ H
disgrasful and it should go away.
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with+ }+ M6 z* A" u& l7 d; O+ d. r
"z" and "w" with "v"., k S- \) l& n7 t0 V+ ?% g- Q3 Z
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
( ~( }+ T; @: m9 ~- v0 c7 Rafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.8 }* h/ }) f4 N x% X
9 P! E: {5 |# e" r$ a- `Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu; e& k d9 W7 o5 v) S4 |
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
' z. w+ s( ? y: S! v6 i, s% nUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze& n8 ?+ [9 j; v6 L. |* C) `
forst plas.: L; n# `2 t, d$ |/ e# a3 g6 o# h+ I
& p, V# ^+ D/ j, ~1 X( \( ^If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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