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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will/ e: m Z( M7 D r6 v( e$ F* M
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
% _8 s5 `( L* t/ e1 zthe other possibility.- X6 j# o) c7 [) i' F. I' { y2 X) N
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
7 ~, j# c/ r& m* Dspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
6 l |) `- _; d5 b0 x$ aplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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) e& i) W9 t- Q( ZIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make+ s/ z/ `8 W$ H; L. a p# a3 E
the sivil servants jump with joy.
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
6 c- N8 [+ s7 ukonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.2 c) |" I# d: c2 q- B5 J! M: K
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9 y D& A+ a$ d }3 l9 \3 vThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the4 I4 z; i9 ?1 m) c
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
5 _3 _* X7 u3 `' ]7 Ufotograf 20% shorter., [: V, g' y- T9 e( w, Y
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
3 k9 g5 N W/ }9 l) `reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.% q5 m' P8 L. m: [! h0 [( p
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always& H+ ~# |* D" E2 G4 F1 T+ \
ben a deterent to akurate speling.( E8 q0 e2 A! _+ `2 `7 {7 G
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is7 M+ R; X, u. ?3 q* \5 d" ]
disgrasful and it should go away.: V! }& n0 S. f4 N
F" g5 A! x8 Q; X1 R) S, f: ?By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with, h1 L( K% T# `. C
"z" and "w" with "v".8 W3 u* t. m, J
6 i$ y4 M, s W; b! F+ ]5 P" _0 SDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
* v4 E- \( f/ H. j F; W3 safter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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& a- g4 E: \6 r; xZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu* e9 s- o, z L$ M$ I
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.( W$ g( o: p) d. _0 P" m/ S7 E
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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