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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will5 c9 V. ]& [' r- M9 }( h9 q! G4 ~
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
8 f) l3 ?1 T! R5 tthe other possibility.) P2 {9 W; y6 c7 Y, G; O0 D2 E# S+ e
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
( H, d: `* Q1 {spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in: p7 O# k$ p. d; ~9 W3 [' b
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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$ k& C5 G. F* k) K7 S k2 G& |In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
2 A8 ~; p& U+ J. L! C. U- Lthe sivil servants jump with joy.
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. |7 E9 {, c7 S: W. |The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
5 n" n& ^* M& N, H2 C: P# z( lkonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.: \3 ?0 ?' o6 ` y u9 z. Z8 l4 w
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% p1 l( B7 r @ Y7 c" P9 k- SThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
! d9 Q1 X3 u. S: s7 Y! X. A) r, W2 Etroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like' N% V* z8 f7 b7 V7 Q" ^
fotograf 20% shorter.
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1 m" v3 A" ?. Y6 Y! c! qIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
6 B4 `- ~' i* V/ \8 s$ n! D, g4 Dreach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.5 E: d+ f6 `9 a% o0 }0 G% D
/ E R$ o p3 x- DGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
7 H& x( R4 {6 [# `) b3 U) U+ }ben a deterent to akurate speling.
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+ O9 O0 }8 |* [% w. G* E y9 xAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is0 J$ e, x3 L! L1 b3 D
disgrasful and it should go away.
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
+ F- ]- K8 t8 H/ i' z* M8 C* s"z" and "w" with "v".
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
! B& j5 \. L% B% s. E S( u7 safter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl. h( M5 r, |( U9 |, r, N3 O
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
9 Z; R! L3 E4 z* d6 ounderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
' G9 C( M* f+ v3 Z9 CUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze! j) l/ S4 }* A( s9 {5 P0 R
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5 b3 Q0 }+ _* o% mIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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