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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
7 B1 \/ N& Q2 v5 K! Z% M. {4 n# {be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was& Q; C4 L" l4 {# J+ z' S
the other possibility.5 Q. l" e8 T/ @2 m' ~: N
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English4 ?$ Y8 }. F: x6 m' J
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
' o, V+ z8 K2 I6 W3 a' ~5 Z6 hplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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; i2 @; q/ Z% C6 RIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make. |# \7 j8 ~5 L/ L- y
the sivil servants jump with joy.
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
7 y/ e1 K# P6 s6 Z7 x3 Okonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter./ d9 z. U; Q5 |9 F
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
# W. U% Y) F% mtroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like0 Z5 H1 z5 R9 V9 u3 T \ D. D
fotograf 20% shorter.# [" Q1 s' |) ]' o- u# d
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to# I0 R+ P; b+ {9 f0 S* b" j
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
" B8 O2 W& `1 x& N- uben a deterent to akurate speling.
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5 P& m$ ^* G& \- p6 fAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is' ~# t9 T* s: |& z3 I
disgrasful and it should go away.$ a' y c/ S" l% W5 s! g Y
8 c9 Z% O4 F, Y9 Q9 C7 }By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
1 {+ m8 c6 R; S4 z"z" and "w" with "v".. ^' ~. M) O5 z: f3 }; K% d
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
3 p3 _: D; d) c `) g, G- E, Iafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.' U9 M: g: ]7 F
- Z4 X5 q* u5 }) z. R$ rZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu% u, v: l6 R O! c& m2 v: H' i& I
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.# h, Y5 P" W& D4 L; u, T( P7 j" m
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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