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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
/ u' j. z1 b/ xbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was; A9 w2 _6 R. Q" X
the other possibility.' q2 a7 e# O T* J5 @4 S
% {3 m* J2 _8 [# w. T% k9 XAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English4 ^! X4 `) O7 A$ s- B! _- }
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
s5 o9 r; }8 _9 i) c7 Hplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".5 ~6 ]" p, b7 h; C& c8 N$ z
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
8 c- P& K8 I2 {the sivil servants jump with joy.
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6 |/ L& t4 t8 ]3 Q0 @9 g0 l( r; KThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
/ s& S' l- A1 Y6 \5 [* [konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.7 Y/ @8 y# k6 B) n3 d! O
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
; M3 m$ V6 c, ` Vtroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like2 E% t2 r9 B1 C1 O( W
fotograf 20% shorter.! r7 n5 w' P* q6 L" j
& g& `; T( P5 ~. V! ZIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to* x: e+ j8 e" k, s4 Q5 y, W; [9 D) \& r
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.0 k* e& ^2 @) Q! N$ l$ o
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always4 d1 Z. x$ k, j+ q9 G
ben a deterent to akurate speling.
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- k; ]; O5 m: q1 Y4 m" W1 e0 NAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
0 `1 t- B. p8 R, n' U# v4 \' udisgrasful and it should go away.9 U$ \4 s( _2 {: b4 k7 v( p
9 z6 \ U) @* J/ A9 A8 dBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with; [) L* ]% Z; R- Z
"z" and "w" with "v".$ \/ g g b+ F2 N: U
! E: ~# T$ Q0 K) M# D( K! BDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and$ @# }) C' u1 A3 ?$ e/ J9 p
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.& H9 k& R# N% r) v, I
; x) L8 d9 @3 J2 v9 }1 @Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
+ f- x6 B5 c$ c9 x: M$ uunderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.. X3 I& O4 u, w0 T9 w5 Z
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
: ~* I. s2 m; w0 `# l& Kforst plas.
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8 j, k2 L: M( @2 z$ zIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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