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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will+ w1 r! q. ^" P- m
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was5 e5 B" b9 z( ~2 z
the other possibility.& I6 Z9 s* s6 x5 }$ ^" E9 o ?
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
( s; r2 f5 z8 v" E5 B- ?) n5 dspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
+ c4 H" b& [6 j+ ]- i* n Oplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".1 ]4 U8 Q1 R o) ]
' o+ a) [5 [/ E8 L+ gIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
, n1 p4 ^8 @, i( C/ J0 y$ ?the sivil servants jump with joy.
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
$ n) I$ ]) g- w" O, }& A) i. ?0 Dkonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
9 Y d& }) t& G9 s7 Ztroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
- G, R( Q, ]+ D! |' g7 o8 Afotograf 20% shorter.
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2 s. B, k5 y a. W5 _6 @* H. }3 e! M: P iIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
n/ C( {1 y3 r8 {reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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* B7 J" v8 a. MGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
; m4 D5 S% q! G2 A) V: u' Sben a deterent to akurate speling." k8 l1 n6 s4 `. d
) J" Z) ^: u Q& \* J# oAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is3 ?6 `4 @# ?! \8 J
disgrasful and it should go away.0 i# ]' n. O4 R a" l, R
9 R+ p; t* `! JBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with Q8 j% Q. U1 |, Y# w( d* v" t" V
"z" and "w" with "v".
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
' Z: \4 b# J0 y, W% Gafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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0 o) w5 M; Z2 z) L! ?1 iZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu) T& c3 Z& T2 Z9 v& Z" L
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.! n& U4 p, I5 g4 E
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze9 J8 p' R. X! u
forst plas.( s0 h ^2 A5 ?+ @
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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