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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
; h# ?7 c" q) [/ Obe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
# @6 z3 C( n% p m ythe other possibility.4 o! |* n& b% Z# _+ {
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English6 z" r) m2 T8 r6 v" h/ E+ G o
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
8 n+ \( R+ J# P% Z a' a, \# hplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".$ Y8 A# [/ _5 d3 T
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make% e+ g j8 O4 U7 P
the sivil servants jump with joy.
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
" \* z2 U S5 Akonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
& t7 a. K5 s, a+ Z! L5 Z/ c- {) }0 f' _- W
+ L: ^7 @" H# H( O" W
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the0 `+ G! [* q1 r4 Q e
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
2 a6 p: n1 O% t$ E" S# ~fotograf 20% shorter.1 u4 @0 B3 w) k8 A; ?
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to. p' E7 T8 X' E; L% V0 z1 j
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.5 B$ } p4 V& }: d/ f6 C, x! T
! A7 G7 B1 P5 i6 KGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
' R8 e0 B' _4 }4 x3 B5 eben a deterent to akurate speling.$ b4 m9 \" l; @' D) i
$ J7 g' Y- B E% b9 C1 F, CAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
( K+ l& y6 r' K. T. L" u7 Jdisgrasful and it should go away.
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with4 ~3 k% h' e K {6 ?
"z" and "w" with "v".
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8 l$ S* b6 B3 x2 ~' F0 ^During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
& h4 G" ]. d; o$ s1 v9 V( E: Iafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.- D4 Z; [9 U) d
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu# ?/ u& Q2 q8 |
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
: u2 w8 q# f$ a/ S: O# b- y" gUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
, ]+ b7 z9 O2 H% Sforst plas.
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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