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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
$ d+ F9 |" J( Y: |5 @3 L' \be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
- \5 p+ o* B1 O8 o! O' h- i% H, qthe other possibility.$ Q. c% h' f8 |
3 t3 U% W5 |' T0 BAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
0 ~3 {* |7 B6 f, m J' O1 b8 Lspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
$ B! J( S# r# ~4 Dplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
" w$ P/ f6 \ rthe sivil servants jump with joy.
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
- {" ~4 V5 e- d `konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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9 f( u2 @, x/ \. l6 q( U2 @, l4 x5 h- [8 c/ s% I( ?6 {
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
, K5 g' K3 J# X9 ^, {( I; ftroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like% W ^* O4 r8 Q0 q& i1 }
fotograf 20% shorter.$ @: L4 O6 m( a$ H& n
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to. j; \. c v5 _7 {
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.) T" | O8 J* T. D5 o5 |
# Y2 `0 m1 W& G2 f0 m4 E/ P, tGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
- u& E- a& _/ F% e$ @5 Wben a deterent to akurate speling.9 |0 ~/ _$ V& [/ x7 A% \
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
2 d- U; f3 ^! U% m# qdisgrasful and it should go away./ d9 z8 s) c! O# v/ p& x# H X, ^
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
0 _% b, |1 ~1 ~4 N* O"z" and "w" with "v".- M+ d5 w' Q9 J( s/ b7 I- q5 Z( g& ~7 |
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and4 n& h" {8 V B* C
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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4 x5 y9 F" p& g2 h. I k: xZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
, W2 c8 F) W% g& r- bunderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
1 h: ~. X/ `! H1 C+ ^9 e1 z8 l- u1 IUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
6 L9 Z" Q# _/ cforst plas.
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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