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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will) H5 L, |- d" Z4 p! ^8 _2 P
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was5 k1 @5 o! o* ~
the other possibility.
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English7 E, {2 G2 G1 i; `; N
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in% ^1 U% v5 Y {3 G% t( O5 w3 j
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make4 Y" L# a0 U$ Q0 [8 L9 v O
the sivil servants jump with joy.2 O* `4 P: z( o
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
: Z+ i! F4 f; r. l1 O( R; X( V9 zkonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the$ N7 x: Z% w3 z/ n1 ^: p' i2 D% [
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like$ k h" A0 c# i) ?
fotograf 20% shorter.
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
2 g4 J( F! F- P) yreach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
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, ?$ Z0 o! x) [2 uAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
- s; `; w3 H D1 tdisgrasful and it should go away./ l* l' H d! F
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with, g( w7 M6 o9 X; K
"z" and "w" with "v".
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2 c5 n! Z. Y8 s+ f2 ~During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and) G1 [5 H- r( g V0 J5 `5 x
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.* V" {+ {( N) [. q9 X7 c
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
" L- W- o6 w: W2 L* ?3 runderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.& h% A5 |8 ]# W# H0 b f9 U5 E; N
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
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- C' _& r: n4 H) k. xIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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