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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
. O; J3 v% H+ Q+ {& S9 ?be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was1 h( X1 D/ {0 p
the other possibility.
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( n& m, h7 x7 u% O/ W! i7 l% vAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English' A h& u- Z8 E- u3 o3 ]4 C5 E1 i
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in4 @ \* q2 Q# \+ N9 t1 J
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".7 q! Y7 T& }7 [% G# I
: B y+ e0 h: q; }- LIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
0 e% T1 M9 ?: R) M" R5 ?the sivil servants jump with joy.
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) }5 I d2 {# P5 K% Z* BThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
% X7 U Z( d3 G7 `konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.( k) w) V+ L4 E
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- m- e2 s2 h* c! LThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the$ w# d" S; S, a- F
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
; k" m2 t* x4 h8 U; Zfotograf 20% shorter.
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3 b5 K h- D- R6 Q6 l7 q- r5 qIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
, l5 F' N0 W( @/ s" Lreach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible./ }9 r% w% i) E( x* C7 _
2 |# A1 k% W. r$ @2 k9 WGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always: h: c% I# K$ T' B+ W. G E
ben a deterent to akurate speling.5 J' Y9 R0 e8 v& A8 R
9 v F) H9 Y: f" cAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
; Q6 ]& o8 k$ V+ kdisgrasful and it should go away.
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0 k2 f% M/ s3 d4 h+ _. M; {- sBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
& U8 ^" z0 s* l# m6 h"z" and "w" with "v".
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/ L! H& w& F* EDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and! H5 r& b8 m* u/ m- a5 h; z
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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' M/ q8 J& H1 O2 L# u; oZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
( h; Z6 p) Z$ z( kunderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.; s# @7 V0 b3 C, s; e1 N
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze. Y/ e$ _. y6 ~( U3 h: z
forst plas.
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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