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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will& v; C* t( A* i" B2 S5 L
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
& C+ t, N- o8 {$ @ V: Dthe other possibility.4 u, V0 Z7 x, v
- H8 k! f. G7 M, L+ | [) D' LAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English" J0 }4 `! g% b# ]- G
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in& r: j2 e1 o* G3 ~7 `8 V
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make: U* S, ^6 U3 {, U+ b
the sivil servants jump with joy.$ }2 a7 z% a# I
$ A$ T/ Q: I- I0 U7 YThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up* ^. Z Q6 A; A: V
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.6 q/ L% z1 \8 c' R; O
, T n2 G% w5 q& u6 X! d" L! R7 G0 n4 D t+ v3 l5 f
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the+ N. c2 V) `6 E" s+ ?
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like9 s7 [/ e# `- Y, i& Q1 \0 M
fotograf 20% shorter.+ U7 P) Z/ j4 T5 i# z k9 P
, ~% A, F4 l+ E! W8 i) @' M+ }# qIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to( f8 E6 y( c" z
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
/ @5 J& I, [. @ben a deterent to akurate speling.
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2 v; [7 {3 J; i+ f( ?8 |, EAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is9 l- o. w3 {: K/ C! e$ Q
disgrasful and it should go away.
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
k. b3 `1 f C, e ~0 N"z" and "w" with "v".: @9 a! Q& @2 j d/ i
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and& d b# D- ]$ o6 a' F- m$ [) a& M/ W
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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; }0 q4 c; e5 {Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu5 Y' G% K( D% @6 k1 G# R
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
" R! g+ x! j$ @Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze% p1 [+ G# E# p* U
forst plas.
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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