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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
& k u. h# I' T+ Sbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
; H% b+ ?, E$ Y4 E' Pthe other possibility.! `; j1 ]+ g1 J/ A: U0 M
8 f. p+ C7 j* V8 r: |! kAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English% { h* V) }0 W
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
9 ^0 g( x' g q- G3 Y: r2 c* ]plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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8 F0 Z% R# X# u+ D% c4 a4 ZIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make2 P7 _( r! M/ f5 F4 V3 n6 \
the sivil servants jump with joy.0 c: G$ ?; R2 ^
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
: O5 e, W1 E+ q: ?; _8 Xkonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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, ~ d6 ?: q0 j jThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
; O7 Y7 m" Q @/ j0 H. p- a7 mtroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
! r/ n3 Z$ Y! H5 mfotograf 20% shorter.
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, L8 f5 s& x0 R$ v Q M$ iIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
& V Y% V7 h0 q$ e( N2 freach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.3 _# }7 w3 s2 J# f0 G
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always' ]3 P$ L; ]! d C- h! F
ben a deterent to akurate speling.5 E) e) y7 O3 k, M: R
( d, \; ~% |$ k* u, P% oAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is {& p" P" J4 j
disgrasful and it should go away.
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
7 ~0 ]0 e, d% Q" B. r& w"z" and "w" with "v".2 W2 e9 d- X- T5 }* n# e
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
6 F/ r H& j0 [1 _, o3 J: W, Vafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.3 [( d/ ~- p0 Q: S5 v, L
0 G" U: W9 \1 g/ Q( `/ dZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
* M* [& A6 u7 l. gunderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
$ @3 i# \ o0 v' W9 i1 dUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze0 I9 g8 C2 i* p* a- H& R. [
forst plas.
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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