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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will- M1 b- Y" j, u$ x
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
* v" G& r M* S" wthe other possibility.
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English+ O2 e: p1 f) O# m
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in3 P/ D1 i) f& v1 t/ }' w, b
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish". [7 Y/ ]% F8 t) B
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
' ]) Y1 @, P) E9 _: x% @the sivil servants jump with joy.$ n- `0 g j% \# B+ k4 y4 E" Y
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up: f u& }% I- K, m$ o4 C0 L! J
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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% f; v. x& {" [; \% uThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
' F M; V( w9 l% ctroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like5 t1 A* G! M, ]. q+ S$ {% o+ ~* Q/ m
fotograf 20% shorter.
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* L8 V! B2 m, ]" G) w. a9 v# jIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to$ P, y/ \" A9 b& u
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.* d) P% ~: a' Y$ H* _
/ q5 M, B$ K4 _+ { gGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always% o( Z4 s+ l5 x" M [& k% k
ben a deterent to akurate speling.
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8 v. Q& x- q+ X+ n) TAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
7 [& i( W' s* t, |* M3 pdisgrasful and it should go away.
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$ _! Q$ d" O* v0 {By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with4 l6 `2 n; [: m9 D+ S. t
"z" and "w" with "v".3 g1 X7 l8 U3 A& r$ j3 l
3 r+ Z H$ A( L9 f0 r( MDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and% E" ^& Y+ S! v. U' t) V
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.( W1 b7 r. F0 x! l, Y- a$ h
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
# f% J M& r% N1 r+ Iunderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.$ q9 k2 a2 g$ J6 c/ L
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze5 T9 r) A2 E% [; m/ y& l# T! P- p6 X
forst plas." o/ ?4 h: ?# j- U! j
2 q3 L; u4 u: w8 HIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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