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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will& V/ P8 J. m+ ^
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
9 w7 n7 \$ G# ~. ^the other possibility.
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English# d/ W; L5 s* z& { B
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in9 P( S9 z0 G5 E
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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u6 k( i$ k M: {In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make+ ]0 e9 Z3 x: k( ?4 n8 `! t; R
the sivil servants jump with joy.
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+ g6 b) h { K; i6 K$ pThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up* \- M- D& H9 v$ ?3 N
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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2 o! u+ o* n: f3 A/ H. `; xThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
3 T( l j2 ?% htroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
& U: ^" H5 l' ]" W# `$ tfotograf 20% shorter.
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4 O& I5 W6 O$ v4 u/ CIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
3 H a/ p/ B" N$ d, {reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always; a/ I% u" c) Q/ r z
ben a deterent to akurate speling.
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is. ?0 M: t7 W* p$ h
disgrasful and it should go away.0 m/ q7 Y5 Y+ [6 W
* S% M$ n3 t+ w* v4 V+ s5 \By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with, I" v a0 e) J9 c
"z" and "w" with "v".& @: ~ q, L" p6 ]2 |
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
( o6 A: G7 b" {! T6 R9 Wafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.* k0 ?2 p, k1 t; u: L+ p" R* W
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu3 l; @: b# N" L9 X6 r) t* K
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.) M# C. t" R6 x9 v4 k! ? _3 X
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze6 }. v2 |8 _3 j, P; G
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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