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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
) s+ \2 A. i% _be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
- i/ N+ x6 Y* [+ _! Zthe other possibility.; ^- l( Y+ v7 {# f8 p/ L7 v x( |
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
: t2 }2 c- } }: O& M# ospelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in) F$ i+ q# A0 S5 S3 Q' ?5 t% [0 E
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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: W) j& a6 d1 ], N b# _. A& s; NIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
4 R* d) {6 j. k* Q1 wthe sivil servants jump with joy.
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9 @3 L4 o, I. F% ], V7 wThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up m! Z" ^6 J# F' ^5 a
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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9 t% [$ p& f7 Z, i' q; z# [2 GThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the8 T1 T) O) Y! D; M W
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
6 ~7 ]3 {: F8 afotograf 20% shorter.
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to$ L# f2 m- K' h% v3 _$ S
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible./ [$ ^ z/ \& B* r3 m
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always1 p, U) F {0 ]( h9 \7 y
ben a deterent to akurate speling.
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is- S) w( M: A- {# j* z
disgrasful and it should go away.
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( t" t- Y& G+ m: S' a4 c/ k: fBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with# L. t F9 y( [5 G" _; {
"z" and "w" with "v".
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and: \) N% ~2 t' G6 h6 e
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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7 }9 s- L( I& T; g M1 NZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
2 k0 u5 e/ M/ i; r4 h. Eunderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.9 ^5 \4 W1 r4 N
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
; g0 w( F, b9 c) I# a5 |5 |% ~forst plas.
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2 z; B1 A) N2 x- q- ?' EIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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