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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
( N- q7 J* M: s: F9 P W7 W. Wbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
; M G2 Z8 B$ ?/ Bthe other possibility.
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English9 C$ v' ]" b- c, ^( i, w2 y
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in# S3 l9 i: q! `# {% K
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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+ z; |7 s, l: TIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make: F5 z2 I% g! p% m
the sivil servants jump with joy.4 f. V+ |5 T; a
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up- i/ u% S2 [$ C2 [0 Y4 i2 `# e* D
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.0 z) H/ C( i4 H
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, w" a3 i/ N6 _1 W, r4 [There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the* m2 M/ `$ ~6 E; g
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
2 u& B$ u. z: j5 n. {/ W% u- Pfotograf 20% shorter.* q1 u6 ~( E# Z
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to) j$ U/ O \# c" ~- N
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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# y+ d+ m3 f. }5 `2 y8 P; EGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
( E! w1 X( e |. Uben a deterent to akurate speling.; W5 F" o/ g0 i3 o3 V
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
6 Y3 `5 f6 A3 j5 |disgrasful and it should go away.& ~1 V9 X# N9 f! Q& ^
9 y/ X0 \; ^- \3 q% \ W* rBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with% {* Y, b- B% ~9 u# c) r2 {
"z" and "w" with "v".7 e" h: c7 U+ ]- F# G
1 M% A4 ? X7 |) m: s2 }! fDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and: g+ j$ W k6 |( m# O5 L
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.$ j+ o% r$ p9 E- \3 h5 H4 a! z+ q' B
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
1 A2 q6 |- V3 g' b1 V& lunderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.6 T& m5 v: k5 c, j! p% s0 m
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze- k) ^# G% o0 R5 w
forst plas.! m9 I% e: f( d5 T: _2 q
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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