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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
" {5 T- s: |& ?- K7 N) Ube the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
% C9 F; n$ }3 q0 W6 Athe other possibility.& h6 Q9 W3 q+ y3 S* ^
" |% k# d" n' Q) p; w& KAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
. ]8 C i4 X# L: b2 v( Espelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in8 Z+ L5 C) t( ^1 G( e# V
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".5 v }, ^ T& z- }+ `
; Y9 y5 s6 [% E' w7 H2 g SIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make8 W" I" b: P' Z |5 x% g
the sivil servants jump with joy.
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4 V2 d# R4 n2 G6 `4 H9 `# fThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
O i4 |9 K4 Ukonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
! N6 I* P! y, Q, h2 etroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like! R* H# t7 {, H* Z X4 Z9 e
fotograf 20% shorter.
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4 O! a9 f3 \* M# ?( Z- BIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to* a' C. h( r/ `0 B
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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- ^+ b6 }" y' v, G# n8 i! F) i( UGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
0 b/ \' F& F6 H0 w2 \6 ] c, |ben a deterent to akurate speling.
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is% E! Q% q( c; ]0 M u
disgrasful and it should go away.
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with h e! M5 h8 a, z0 g* B l8 _
"z" and "w" with "v".
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3 l4 @; G! b7 @1 ODuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and, R0 G! ^. ]( B
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu( d5 I j8 F' W# h' m. e8 H
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru. g# r, C% X* |" A/ N* t
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
) h' K$ ]0 o/ u$ J' Y2 I. ?forst plas.
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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