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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
6 \% Y% Z0 @+ K; `% [1 Rbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was4 u; K1 U8 D/ E2 `; O4 W
the other possibility.5 b% d. ^* T9 a" B
6 u7 t$ u/ N4 ^. a+ D: {5 {As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
4 k9 M- X. N# X. |- u' Rspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in1 C) g: }2 P1 x* p
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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& S' U* M: ?/ ?6 s' |! Q& XIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
; [6 L* R8 `+ X" ethe sivil servants jump with joy.: h* X# Y/ i% i5 W
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
: \* _8 W; x8 Q; Ikonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter., T+ `8 z' E9 p- J8 h
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* q- r" u1 c6 A- a7 d- L) L3 ~* OThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the! e+ L1 }. x) G& w B3 \
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like/ V9 I8 H5 z- V
fotograf 20% shorter.5 A) B; c1 T( s5 G3 s- b& P4 A
9 [" A; v- o% a; _+ p
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to6 }( n* A$ E; P0 A: H1 Q0 h6 F" f
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.3 @/ O! M) u1 O% m, g: ? E) S* d$ ^) z* b: t
6 H. {& P" g6 m8 f( o1 `& Q% oGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always& t, v. U% G( B; ]$ L4 y- K
ben a deterent to akurate speling.
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
# O& R% c# R8 Y/ B' C7 Sdisgrasful and it should go away.
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with4 j/ y+ W/ V7 D) K( M' E
"z" and "w" with "v".) r7 M5 q6 n: ^
' M1 q: C& F1 O0 m' PDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and$ k* t, I" p. j2 y
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.- @; s6 ]9 r3 A4 ?# c6 u! _
3 m( F. b9 b; o- |% j2 BZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu% t7 F/ O, C' R4 m8 n8 _
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.5 {! C7 r# e! P- X: [7 f9 h# u h
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze5 s& N- J! S, }: e" B( y" v2 E' ?1 G
forst plas.
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3 x6 |0 H. O" X+ l2 }If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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