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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
( k% y# ~" }! f4 O* b; q( \be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
) e) e( A1 @4 O2 J% Zthe other possibility. Q Q/ w# d, N c! g1 w
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English' d7 S. a( r, s2 g
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
7 n+ L2 u |" m: Z' C; O, E) t# Bplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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# k0 c3 I* l+ gIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
( x) x$ j0 X& a4 n/ v3 k# G \the sivil servants jump with joy.
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up* z- q$ B& v( j6 K" _! }
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the9 ^; t1 g) }! s/ V* s4 l& g
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
2 S: a% `* k# y8 j% B+ @: D( Y, N% _$ Ifotograf 20% shorter.
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" P7 p0 q# Q: b- [$ }. [In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to. c3 q( n& k6 p8 N2 {* B- f
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.! k7 e3 s4 z6 `( j
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
# K; R' E' ` b$ H2 ^+ C5 O8 jben a deterent to akurate speling., R0 d- b' ?3 ~
2 I# v" `2 l0 c$ a4 C3 @- JAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
8 L4 G& ~( x. D3 g! m2 a3 Y8 Ndisgrasful and it should go away.
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
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" m+ ?6 o" y# b* Q0 hDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and7 K: h# L" h0 P2 O% |
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu5 j6 m+ @- d" F' Q7 V6 R
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
1 {) a( ^3 h n' J+ \: L6 EUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze( ?8 e ~# l4 P: ?: ?/ e4 I A
forst plas.
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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