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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
4 j+ q' u) w3 gbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
7 R. e8 v, ]* R" c# Ithe other possibility.
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
/ v4 o0 L b& l0 J# ?. ospelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
% a5 d( M1 R7 }plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".+ B+ ^, W) \9 v7 z) ^
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
6 g% T7 g3 [5 A+ p$ ?4 Ethe sivil servants jump with joy.: f3 q+ }0 R/ }$ y% U
3 O: C" [- |$ QThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up8 K0 M1 z$ c! Y5 ?" X2 O
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.: L, D, P: o9 u8 W. \- n
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
1 q. K/ u2 ~6 k$ ztroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like" ^2 k6 Y$ v9 i- |
fotograf 20% shorter.2 E4 J/ D z# G x$ y* e$ S
8 R2 u( _6 _0 Z- ^8 {In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to8 e, W) C3 U" w) k$ p" T
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always; Y2 X0 \, T* Q* j g2 } P
ben a deterent to akurate speling.3 R$ w9 A5 {" ]7 F) W, \' B, Z" \
5 c) f7 Y) l3 ~Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
( Q! k; g+ j# ^3 s2 D4 x0 z& n/ Tdisgrasful and it should go away.
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with: W; }, @5 d3 m4 {1 L
"z" and "w" with "v".' R2 M d; [8 R
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
9 f. y; ~/ p0 v5 R/ y/ Xafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.' F3 J6 J0 v+ Q3 Q
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
" I) h$ A- g4 m, k) U1 K1 `understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.$ {: l, {. w6 \+ p u
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze( T! l- N& W+ `; Y9 @; P- u1 n
forst plas. b6 q, y6 t: r: y7 V* b2 ?8 Q8 q
6 o3 L$ v5 I7 AIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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