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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will: e8 V1 h" P& W. x/ W, s9 f- [
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was# `# k$ [5 q# q1 e% C
the other possibility. z6 q7 _; D( v4 C
" s; e9 [& H% K* C1 i ZAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
5 [% J# E( }+ H5 e+ n1 @spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in% q, ?$ q, E8 }* ?" y
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".0 I( C# Y0 G, O- t f
% L& K' M" ]% gIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make" [; |1 E8 m7 |- ~& x i, K
the sivil servants jump with joy.
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& @+ B# c1 Z6 s. \ x$ s' r9 [The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
# v" S) N, F; I+ J6 r; [ p0 kkonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.$ u- n; {( y2 w4 j t3 @2 ]' `
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- ?" C x4 T3 b1 A( o5 LThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the6 g" Y2 J+ G8 a1 R; |* w4 U
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
7 f% I1 i3 ~) V, i, \9 o$ ^fotograf 20% shorter.
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- l* @. F# l' S3 g" sIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
. ?) F/ B4 ?& n- b" hreach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible./ |0 Q. U( v( A, H. v( o* l
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always) y6 t0 e0 d) S( X" s
ben a deterent to akurate speling.
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is7 C! e' t% \6 }5 {: i% f( n
disgrasful and it should go away.5 |2 L9 ?# H1 T6 j7 t& Q+ _1 m& X
# ^, ]# ]8 r% n/ P0 s c$ wBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with' p. v' {' b# N! b$ Y7 K3 ?
"z" and "w" with "v".( k) ]8 A7 h8 S+ B3 ?
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and$ G, [. W9 g& ]
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.! u7 H) A$ D& y
( T4 _ v6 [! ^ YZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
: n/ ~9 J' c; h# @understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.2 F% `) K3 L5 u; q
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
: r+ K* R* j/ E0 eforst plas.
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( f w3 W2 E% a/ P1 e2 HIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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