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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
3 t Y3 D) S' T$ Fbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
9 z4 l/ N& X, h3 L$ [; T Ythe other possibility." f8 ^: o$ }% m" Z$ i1 J7 t9 j, K. e
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
" o3 w1 g$ @! I. J. ]spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in& p7 C9 Q4 B' _+ k
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".; x: Q2 | d) W- C
) q/ B4 f8 r8 o p: A7 c5 tIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make u1 ]& |- ?5 [) |+ T- K
the sivil servants jump with joy.
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
$ U5 [% w4 T( k5 p7 h! y6 N) }konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the2 N) U) w2 X! S
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
* l9 Z# F6 f! c0 Bfotograf 20% shorter.: C8 ~% R) Z5 O* g2 K% C+ h, ]
8 a2 Q) j3 B, y% } E9 jIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
8 r- p" _4 _) v9 }reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.( s& Z0 i2 k9 e0 y
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
; Q' E9 |+ T) [# {( ^3 iben a deterent to akurate speling.
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" M8 O: x- G7 o/ rAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is5 T% I8 A5 E) t. F9 }. @& j
disgrasful and it should go away.! Q* b8 M1 ~& d$ R C
1 f- W" z. J( _By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with2 l9 O" h7 W) F2 [' C8 U( ]
"z" and "w" with "v".
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' T9 S: Y; l. I2 YDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
$ I0 e6 m' G: |& E$ h8 q; r4 A/ Wafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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1 q% G0 Q% m! n1 q6 k C4 CZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu( T7 Y W# g' V0 l/ [8 r* ~
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
% p$ l; R+ F- T7 n9 \$ c: zUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
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8 O& r2 q$ m/ F2 t4 BIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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