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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
0 H/ [/ r3 i3 Q& I h; E. Obe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
$ k0 j, M- f8 d) _2 Gthe other possibility.+ N3 Y! M- W5 Z: Y4 g
, R2 h$ n! j4 N Z' o+ |As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
# N: J: Q! C$ _) Aspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
$ R2 t) t0 L* j2 f1 Q) Bplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".3 b, K# E$ n, _9 @* K
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
6 D6 z e+ \! s, E athe sivil servants jump with joy.1 e0 z! p: q; j" k6 `
4 i5 a3 J" s$ g% RThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
* Z# u* E( c3 @4 Qkonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
9 y& e9 o- V! x8 ?* otroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like7 V, u1 n8 g: m( B, p; U; L2 S: k. l
fotograf 20% shorter.4 u& k. ]7 M7 T+ g' i
: @8 a I( J5 f- u- `& n7 LIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to7 h) O" c( _/ g/ ~% M$ g
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.* a3 j, ^" `2 a3 q5 |
4 q" O. v* k3 W; O3 yGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always7 L8 E/ s; Q% k; ^" g0 g7 \( W
ben a deterent to akurate speling.
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
' r t# x0 T1 R$ O3 Xdisgrasful and it should go away.6 M/ q* W; R. G0 X- f; L& ]: \$ `
3 F* J8 n4 T, K, c# _1 `( d8 c1 MBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
% z3 B) M5 M( t"z" and "w" with "v".! l* Q2 F. ?: O8 x3 o1 }
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
( b3 G% Q) A! X+ Lafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.5 c' k& D4 s* R/ B v4 E
) R9 H v: x* M) h; mZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu4 N$ b$ K9 a2 M b) {) D; Q
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.% g; v9 V9 W+ e1 ~* Z$ a
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze6 p3 _: S/ U y$ L- w
forst plas.# ~" o* n- N4 @# f- d
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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