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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
7 v! K' _: S" a" @$ Cbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
* ^7 g% n; C$ d: R4 [' sthe other possibility.! L& z c. g0 K8 d' M$ [
: U1 B& ~2 g* v5 D% |- q1 r/ l) aAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
% K1 }) P6 O G8 z k4 Gspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in# G+ b$ p: G! j+ \. b
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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5 J# G1 ]+ L( }4 kIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
; g* R9 w, \9 Ythe sivil servants jump with joy.1 T/ J( Z) n/ i* I8 a
6 s$ N5 O9 n* J7 r) ~5 c2 }. AThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
+ }* J( j; x' } |/ _konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
( `1 m1 u% L+ d v% _+ V" c( ]. ntroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like# ~. K/ \: b2 R7 B7 }
fotograf 20% shorter.
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, d9 ?8 q$ }& M l# c, w; JIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to4 G+ u2 s0 P& ^* _4 P
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible., q) j0 d. Q; `" w
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
8 `( r* W; Z4 @. |ben a deterent to akurate speling.
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is5 l; t0 E; P$ }5 R
disgrasful and it should go away.
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( U8 F. \( Y( J/ PBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with" q; ]2 u6 X7 D3 F1 o
"z" and "w" with "v".
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. o. ^4 O0 A# F! m2 e0 ^8 TDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
) j$ r3 u8 ~" Lafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.0 i! x' h- v8 ?$ @9 u, P
+ b6 Z! F, W' z& k: X3 y6 H( x
Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
( b; N9 a$ c) I8 k; ~understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
4 J* `, |& _, j# wUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze* p8 p6 f$ M& @& N! m
forst plas.) N* J3 E6 R% @6 c8 R# ]4 g3 Z+ S
9 P# [3 J4 X: H: E" O: e0 c* hIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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