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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
) B- y; F; W& K1 ]' j8 Cbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was P2 g+ t k0 w% x
the other possibility.1 Z# d; J6 \4 H3 q
* g2 H9 L9 @! \, F2 j& s7 x3 LAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
6 h( T" n- H$ {spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
1 E1 u/ M, D; a8 h1 uplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".! g2 G' k" M" H$ F/ l9 r) H
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make8 C! [" t/ e' ^5 F9 n6 ~" n* K
the sivil servants jump with joy.
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. Q( x' {+ z' ]& \" ]( p8 OThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up s9 L5 [! g7 J8 `5 ]3 {0 x
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.) L( \, U8 [6 k2 d3 [- U
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the* p; y E) k2 k' J
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like6 |' \: M7 k4 c
fotograf 20% shorter.
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& B1 y" s: f! u( x7 }+ JIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to m, v2 O$ b) R
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
% W: j) C: D6 K3 @- p9 R# rben a deterent to akurate speling.
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: }+ m: t6 |# K! I! `3 hAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
; `" w$ q0 \& V6 O3 B+ Ldisgrasful and it should go away.$ d, _2 Y/ v4 X- |" N
: Q9 }2 Y# \6 p8 g/ u5 q% d% K7 UBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with; i" E) O$ d; v) \ Z2 l* v% q4 T
"z" and "w" with "v".
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8 z8 `5 d3 p T7 A; T6 BDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
, Q2 a) Q6 x$ t$ t# @- o: Wafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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* x3 B5 v# ^1 F/ z. t) N9 N9 J, k) fZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu7 X& o; P% k' g8 _- ~
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
3 F a5 |$ ?" H; N# w2 sUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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