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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
" T9 p0 S% c) v7 @4 F+ i7 e' }be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
' @3 G& c, b+ S: A. r1 X" vthe other possibility.& ?; V9 K+ `/ I$ U8 ^( c' o# c
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
* k' H! X M& h8 X' m5 }+ T7 aspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
' q$ l8 w) _) U3 s0 B, ]' Qplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".' }) ^8 D$ z0 ]+ U# c4 V
. E1 o5 v$ I7 q( KIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
8 X$ t) y& g0 Y l$ W4 gthe sivil servants jump with joy.
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up" E& K! J% V. A2 P0 r
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter., D* o. O6 O9 q) H
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. I( ^( `2 O" D3 s, ]% W0 t5 aThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the" a' L$ U1 H) u4 p
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
- [ b; Y7 ^) Z! k5 vfotograf 20% shorter.% ^0 d% E( O( G( e
* v1 y b* M1 cIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
& c1 r1 w$ t, Q( S0 h* C% lreach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always% m$ O) [1 C; x) [6 w0 q" g: n
ben a deterent to akurate speling.. e! S; F6 k4 f- L/ Z# c1 V
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is+ s7 X0 ]+ O7 N4 ]$ C' `
disgrasful and it should go away.
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1 s, W! S- d( }8 J' U$ XBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
6 u: i1 N( r, g E" A"z" and "w" with "v".
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
8 Y$ D: ]/ F) P) R1 B4 B1 N: p5 ?after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.8 A8 ~% E! I" d* {6 b" Y
, p! T3 |/ X, k% ~Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu1 _& d$ c" f( E5 J+ a. u
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
1 J) g/ @) u2 z3 C6 cUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze4 T% v# \$ n, J! y
forst plas.2 k- h) q3 e8 j
+ P! d2 ^5 [" s1 M' v' {If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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