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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
& f( I" v- k) ^be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was& d# q2 U. e! _ H
the other possibility.
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English, z( Q0 \. S/ G- H2 z9 G. `% ]
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
, E5 Z* O- r1 S/ X0 ~plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".' v7 D- [ H+ Z8 H. S; C& n: _
# U- B! ]0 D# \In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make- U) ~: {! X. c& Q2 r
the sivil servants jump with joy. c2 k: Q) ?( |+ b$ N' B, c$ s
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
. Q6 K* c# i( v- y5 l. Akonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. j9 m# F4 h" o2 V" r/ k/ o8 n
- Z- k3 q$ l6 W$ q5 ~. S* |
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
/ k! T( d; i0 V4 qtroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
/ k9 _4 k d# hfotograf 20% shorter.7 j) r$ {# v) o Z) @
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
# @+ L5 t$ z& |reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.8 ~' X3 N/ ^/ }8 C% a7 L
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
# t) I9 }! v0 Dben a deterent to akurate speling.
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is4 R1 ]1 a% X. p
disgrasful and it should go away.- ]# W) M( f' [
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with6 M' m+ \8 g8 h& j$ Z- f5 l
"z" and "w" with "v".
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* u7 O; i- S, d) t' _$ x0 TDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
! V1 W0 X2 u+ W5 tafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu8 N6 [; y4 z" Q2 R2 ?( ^( G
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru., G+ c$ ?1 f5 c4 Z; d' u' j
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
1 y+ n# G0 p Q8 D) | Q) A( i* {) Bforst plas.3 _( j+ {- S% p) r+ ^7 V1 r
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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