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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
q, D' i7 Z; G* P/ _1 t& z* @be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
9 x. {/ A% w6 H) [the other possibility.& N4 N8 P& S! l, H! c' P% r
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English6 h/ U) P7 L, a/ b/ j
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in. H8 L8 x, N$ r" z6 o( e- ~- m
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".3 e& |" {) M" F' p& g5 g
5 k3 I3 P' E! e+ _In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make) o* j/ I! k& w& _9 ^
the sivil servants jump with joy.# d3 W. h9 Q& J% q: n' ^9 q
1 _7 O1 P6 v. E0 W* WThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up" n9 a8 R; ~* d2 N
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.0 \/ @+ R. i* f) H# h+ j% u; h
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* T1 g) u! [9 g" |( V( HThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
K! F) t0 ^4 e; G6 O# }( B" Ztroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like4 r- y( e) ~2 [" T. _/ G( k
fotograf 20% shorter.
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" `, P/ r. k+ O. xIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to6 ^4 {5 h0 p. J( X
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.& z! b' k* y1 z
B4 Y* r1 |& w2 y: @: ~Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
/ L5 P5 t& e8 l' _; i9 cben a deterent to akurate speling.
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1 k9 r% ^# x+ JAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is) s8 J9 X3 F2 b0 z
disgrasful and it should go away.' ~9 |4 m' j3 s6 Y/ E1 b
! {$ }+ r. h& J, |. r& VBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
( F. ~& Y+ V' Y6 e- T+ y"z" and "w" with "v".3 ]& }' B" d3 T" V: M6 w
) t5 a+ b! r1 Y) z. R% jDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and2 i3 A+ b# q( A0 f8 J* X- N% }, C/ y3 v
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.% c) p8 {9 i. s0 x: V ]
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
$ ?4 y2 S3 b" Q6 e8 ]- Y% lunderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.6 E( B6 t8 Z0 L' u4 C
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze4 H1 S% ]! m8 d+ u
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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