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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
$ p1 l! x. A9 U7 Z$ O Y4 Zbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
% T+ b% j* W/ I- J4 R0 Bthe other possibility.
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English' r" A/ F$ e5 u0 W
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
& L7 o& L. m" r8 y% _* Cplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".* y) j9 h% w7 ~+ b& d
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
! b9 K5 p6 ^. Y$ Vthe sivil servants jump with joy.
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2 s$ _$ f3 V! ^' G- u8 L* ~+ N# Q8 j+ HThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up* y3 h& ~5 i* y G9 s
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
8 {0 k4 c! b; Jtroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like+ E$ [5 \6 a% S# h" y
fotograf 20% shorter.
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* z, }, {( k6 L4 F7 tIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to4 P/ V, i8 N3 Y$ I, x d3 J
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.7 k+ K3 U# Q1 H5 J' v3 t' j
; V1 u$ v N; Q( N' N- u3 TGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always+ d+ b) U5 C7 N L
ben a deterent to akurate speling.9 P; t( q( P& G# [) M, h; ]) P
( J0 l3 r' S' mAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
0 g3 A, q m5 T3 idisgrasful and it should go away.# C7 I# K5 L/ k9 z u9 J: s# f
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with0 t4 m* d0 w/ M7 D! H2 p; Z
"z" and "w" with "v"." w7 l! A0 } y5 P t x8 L
9 [( k! p P. @5 g+ `& {, {" I/ zDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
- O/ |% c: B: }4 k; bafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.% ~2 E- g' q7 }! A( |; y# [: q2 S
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
& \( L, t J& J: w, kunderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.3 e$ o: b9 T. X3 f) _1 {8 ]: ]
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
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. I8 G- Y7 A6 ~1 w1 oIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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