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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will- J9 ~0 K) G$ l4 Q. _$ ]
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was0 [) i' X4 A( V, F0 A6 D
the other possibility.
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( }7 i: v J; mAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English i; |" T" F! {+ {0 e& l% \- o
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
2 Y. a4 k* }" L( F1 i2 g1 Cplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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7 P: t' {* V+ `' }6 RIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
( W, t$ r7 K2 d \$ ?4 E: K! rthe sivil servants jump with joy.
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
& f; Y, ~/ R- E9 L9 Vkonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. S. G+ W( C$ P( A+ M# E) S0 Q
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the+ s0 W) O* K. g
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like7 @5 c8 `$ g, P0 f7 r; y3 D
fotograf 20% shorter.
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
2 Q/ M% i! b- A0 X6 q ]! [' S2 vreach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
6 y# x# v9 h0 j- y, M7 Bben a deterent to akurate speling.
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2 x; ?- _( L3 P, _) Q3 R; X& y3 xAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is# ^7 F( K5 Z- A7 F
disgrasful and it should go away.
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
+ o. @; v) C+ B3 E- [8 E"z" and "w" with "v".
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
2 X1 _- E5 h& D/ qafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.5 `- M# \2 U3 G0 b& y6 M& o5 I+ U4 p
7 e2 C& T. C& n6 Z. T; s" ^# ?% Q8 XZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
' ^7 x; t$ ^9 Ounderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.; b$ ^% z: L" Y" q& k0 x
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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