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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
! A8 n, G8 d$ l4 M: r! ?: F4 Gbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
! R" ^' e, D9 @6 ithe other possibility.& Y$ X9 X$ j: `7 S1 g5 Q3 a
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
$ p* Y9 r6 \6 c" xspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in0 z( h: m" \0 k. D- N" f* e: l7 j
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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* U! T S9 }! i yIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
j5 K/ u9 }4 k% Gthe sivil servants jump with joy.3 V' s3 j7 ^9 w) T* U9 f( G
) Y( C+ D& K1 K& h* Q- G% JThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up! `0 {& H; ]$ |
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.1 ^1 z% X/ B) r8 r4 ?
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
5 u" J; ^5 O' S9 ^8 g% d& Utroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
/ ?' f( j2 A" W3 A+ Z4 `- w nfotograf 20% shorter.
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
: v0 H) _, _" n& T8 dreach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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* C8 V# w/ Q: [3 ^$ x# s& uGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
; u- x8 U7 d9 V I, y5 U$ o) `4 Kben a deterent to akurate speling.
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: }. d1 y0 B" AAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is5 s" p4 I' t/ o: w/ j5 U; a4 ~
disgrasful and it should go away., H$ V) Y8 |- C0 e) ~
% d8 q3 c5 {& X* m) N0 V5 lBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
# L$ h; X, A3 c$ g3 I4 v# b"z" and "w" with "v".
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
0 R# A* ?: A; M6 q; U% F6 _2 Kafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.0 G$ t! O) R7 t' {
& }( [# V- E A4 [0 _Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
" G( J( p: y0 k# z( e) Y9 w! O- Iunderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
# O0 d8 h/ f% o! V. ~Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
- ^( ] Z" u! a7 S+ z$ k3 ~forst plas.1 W3 t1 l( d$ S1 J. q, l
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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