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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will2 \# e- b1 \ F0 s4 @4 n2 W
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
# b) b4 r7 N/ ]the other possibility.0 a% H/ u- r% D* }
6 Y4 u) a6 T4 HAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
' X2 A! H# x4 U+ q) h6 Tspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
" @) x8 t3 h1 O- iplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".: N' x1 U5 X/ N( {
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
. L, w5 |. ~, @- r- E1 Y. Fthe sivil servants jump with joy.7 Q2 K. e# j+ l3 J
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
& P1 z# {& g- e0 Ikonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.( ?- f9 x T- R
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the4 M( e/ ~$ l1 [ R5 @; ^' B
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like" r/ }+ N3 Y; m* b) B' R
fotograf 20% shorter." e% @1 }7 z- o: S; v9 d
8 N) ?$ j. T4 U ~In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to$ C& V) ^/ D @, C, L$ ?9 x! V
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.1 q5 ? g: h1 S7 S/ x+ e6 N/ J! p
3 G! w& T+ b" t6 eGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always: ^/ I7 v; Q& a. K$ i
ben a deterent to akurate speling.+ ^/ B# |" f- @5 F' S
/ d1 w8 Q9 |0 R" m: a3 {" G! @# cAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
7 w* F9 O; x$ D* K& y: vdisgrasful and it should go away.+ x* b) e" G8 o% W- K
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with2 a# J; G8 b- g4 g
"z" and "w" with "v".* `. M6 w5 u/ j* X8 j! g$ G6 t7 P
6 j! |" I# w' C( Y, Z3 aDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
0 d, n0 [4 i3 M1 j! Jafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.+ F1 l) i6 f1 R
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
" h, Q- a; `0 Q5 V! J, q( ]9 a5 wunderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
' v+ f9 s8 `4 g; u$ Z2 Y5 DUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
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G% i5 i* k; Q; k8 qIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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