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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will3 R8 X6 ~) B: q
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was0 f* s5 J5 o- a: q0 U1 r
the other possibility.
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English/ f: P, ^- W/ C, k/ {# P& ]2 e$ a
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in9 u2 y8 C5 J; u7 ]# W: X. D* m, W$ X
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".& N ~/ K8 S- I7 e/ A* ~
, Z* u5 ~" w: Z' _8 qIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
9 C3 F" r/ v) W# V6 }% [. Jthe sivil servants jump with joy.2 w" r5 Z6 L0 P. i% A8 Q
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
# j. v7 Q9 u; Q0 {, U0 ikonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.; U- y4 h% x! y) s. K; S, j P9 c N
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6 X& e0 }! |' y( C! V8 Q" T5 k5 {There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the0 a6 h3 B) [) d1 @: Q) C! ]% w: W2 k
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
7 C5 z( O! g% d# f( a. k' q* d3 x4 wfotograf 20% shorter.# o8 b$ E$ o& ?' v! f
6 G6 F2 d4 ~; e0 V7 eIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to/ H* D! d6 ^+ M6 Q; b$ E+ ?
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always; |2 U/ j0 M- g$ A1 l [/ p; G' m
ben a deterent to akurate speling.. I# F+ V2 s* J: y3 a) |
9 F+ d+ ^" L R# s! ^Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
4 q3 y9 M l/ o! O6 Gdisgrasful and it should go away.
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6 G% y- r7 K. d" lBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with- P/ L+ }: h# [) O; e' n
"z" and "w" with "v".: {# ~4 _6 w) Q" z0 N0 K
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and0 i. r' p! I" f* |/ I% O: X
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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3 U$ l& f5 ~/ a; `; c- pZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
" } |4 O7 t* p* ~3 f7 i0 kunderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.! B& u) L8 _% M4 K0 A
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze2 c! |* [1 m2 s' h+ b
forst plas.
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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