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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
- X# p$ w& d1 ~# B* k6 g5 Ube the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
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: h# K0 U* V2 `. `2 |As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English. ^8 \/ ?/ Q, c/ c8 ?
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
9 t5 h# ^" o1 j) J Y/ _plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".7 [! P/ t1 g8 n8 U R7 a% c/ M
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make2 ~; o" v+ n w, U. y- d
the sivil servants jump with joy.
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
4 O. }! V( A# Qkonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
( H+ |5 V$ Y. _' x1 n! j* vtroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
$ K) L4 a5 ? j( pfotograf 20% shorter.
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0 i9 z# z" S: f& I8 z5 m3 u0 V( tIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
2 x: ~- O6 k/ |reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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) r2 @! r2 b* |Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
* H+ b$ U# ?; v7 E' ?4 hben a deterent to akurate speling.
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6 _$ v U5 y& IAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
; l: t" w. a7 Y* O7 l5 }3 \disgrasful and it should go away.' @1 N$ B M0 }' {* N! Q" S+ n
. I, c( M1 h. T3 E' IBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
: X8 q# m, ?; E6 c; g& O! B"z" and "w" with "v".
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3 w; m. d q" s, M$ W/ A5 lDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
. j3 w: N$ Q4 cafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.& s* l' f4 ?3 ?8 a+ @4 Q
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu& k7 k, \$ p! c9 @ {
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru." r- h1 ]* ?. y* V I+ @5 n# U
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
) R$ r! g$ e5 _# x! |- Eforst plas.% L% L# P9 D f2 O" m( Q
( r' G2 i, J; Y% ~* JIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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