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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
. z P+ Y, |4 {. R4 gbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was( w# s/ c& d4 U% G7 H w2 @
the other possibility.3 L9 K" W- s+ F; o2 W p
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
; y) i% D' g7 G: @3 @# K+ W9 Q% hspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in: }$ t% J7 E' ^ Z7 w
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make/ |- i4 _1 \% j9 L& g& i; R
the sivil servants jump with joy.
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4 I4 c9 h8 J5 D4 VThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up% b: m5 V8 p# t7 w
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.7 @5 y! j: U: B$ c0 k
( B- Z/ C$ D: e& f) Z
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the" K# s. N7 E- U6 Q. j [& F& q9 Q& j
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like% U' g* j8 k- U! M
fotograf 20% shorter.) \8 y% [$ v5 g$ q2 J" G# `3 L
Q2 E! N |. w @" f+ rIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
; R/ Z: a- } m: l7 F5 Dreach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
% n2 ~3 f% Y: r7 ]ben a deterent to akurate speling.
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
! f9 K. I9 D* K# u) T' o3 |disgrasful and it should go away.* ^) y+ I# c; R$ g2 R
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
% [6 m) b# I( G* k! U+ Z d# S+ p! a1 {; k"z" and "w" with "v".# u- o' R" [! @/ n ]6 ]* r: x0 }
$ ?: Y( E( v3 h n0 W9 n5 f1 S5 A! tDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and2 i( E% ^: A! K
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.% j( d/ m( Q0 a' c) [
; p) Z* j! B7 H4 O* A- YZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu9 X; `2 d3 x t& r Z- D
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
' R" y( G, V& _, bUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze& Z4 \/ A4 a# \/ e3 m; F
forst plas.) t: T; Y$ v I) j6 F4 }; O5 G
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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