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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will4 ]# h q4 T0 d5 a* Y: L! y* ]" _
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
# z6 Z b ^, g. m$ q( K% e2 A3 v- athe other possibility.% a8 U4 U \# K+ O
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English% q. d% i4 b0 @4 P# |, \
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in4 W2 S( O" y/ K0 r
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".! G0 W- r5 K+ ?( l
: H: [" D: S% o- l3 `# ~5 EIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make; n; S3 h* I. H* {
the sivil servants jump with joy.
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- I7 f" F2 t6 ]. A1 d5 T- BThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up- g1 i( `, c+ L! y' R7 D) r
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
$ U& P5 c# j0 d0 a$ B- x& u; otroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
6 O+ g0 p9 E% |fotograf 20% shorter.
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
7 Q, C; A$ s. z: Wreach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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6 N1 h# z" e" B3 B( O/ pGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always, A! J* L7 E3 H8 w+ b
ben a deterent to akurate speling.' E5 F! ~0 P3 M9 x
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
* I8 b+ O" n, @) |$ jdisgrasful and it should go away.
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with6 v5 ^/ s, M- _7 [" t: g! |" G' x2 Z
"z" and "w" with "v".
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) u* w1 o3 Y: D6 SDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
$ z4 V* N5 z6 f* L8 U* I ~after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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3 o- r. U. w2 d4 |Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
" }, F9 Y' q8 B& A" Bunderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
+ V2 c4 j3 B; d* TUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze d3 j+ B1 ]- T+ ]( d
forst plas.1 M. G+ i; Z+ ]# W6 u
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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