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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
& ]& U! k. T) Z ]! ube the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was% e* E. e" k9 a* Q3 Y6 Z
the other possibility.
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
6 W8 s1 ~0 ~- v# y5 ]8 n7 h& mspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in5 ?# C/ d H$ S7 V# q5 H8 C0 c
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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* L$ M+ r# E3 `1 E0 uIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make: q. B& `4 m8 Y* H8 `
the sivil servants jump with joy.9 d' Y' D. T5 ~2 a$ ~, B
- I2 ~+ C5 P( ^1 U3 pThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up" v$ |7 `5 C8 ]
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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N. _; h, Y5 L% s3 rThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
7 m; v2 A$ m. u; Jtroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like; l& D0 `8 W. v7 _
fotograf 20% shorter.
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. `5 C2 j% m( ~4 `1 E6 }' M: ^In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to/ Y8 A# [: @ K& \/ p
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.& E; f m7 ^1 N0 w! x9 P! q7 p
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always' f4 Z$ {; ]) z3 i8 ?
ben a deterent to akurate speling.
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
7 C0 i& O8 F: d# ~disgrasful and it should go away./ y( M N& x/ G* _0 c. G$ i8 e
8 l; M9 P% u d# BBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
+ @! l. u+ c% X/ h! w4 b8 N"z" and "w" with "v".
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and) F4 l3 ?. X7 k' R. |( [
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.2 g$ f7 t# Q8 ?
* q/ q7 R+ h; m+ A# Y( P3 xZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
7 p) [! o8 u9 b1 {understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
9 l# O2 q9 G0 K1 pUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze# Z; b% u( p0 Z/ Y9 C: x
forst plas.
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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