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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will. h) Z1 w0 g5 V) I B" d
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
# Y9 z9 h& o2 ?" z: l6 L( ^the other possibility.
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% J* ~( h1 W% R" Y' p2 YAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
2 l( r# s- p/ h+ Q$ Qspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
- ^' R0 [, o0 k7 X9 lplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".$ t m( I+ w# S: l- G, t8 Y
0 A) f" q, z+ K. z* o) c- b3 lIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
- F; |$ H9 ]$ _1 Y7 W$ ]9 S) Bthe sivil servants jump with joy.4 P1 i( H/ n% q* Q/ ~& F' n
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up- O/ [) A1 `4 Q
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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- x* Z1 _9 B! W2 k3 P" L. W0 y: f4 lThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the9 e. L& t D) t! k/ Y- c# C0 c
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
0 O. a# A6 \0 S* V( J9 P/ bfotograf 20% shorter.
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9 S2 I# D$ {- T6 W( ]In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to0 U8 D; _3 `4 Z0 @/ F* `0 Y
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.$ \8 ], N+ O) O3 U# {
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always, p* {- j: e# F: \5 c% e9 w- l
ben a deterent to akurate speling.
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
8 G1 y% r# {! I2 j* qdisgrasful and it should go away.
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! D O/ ^1 K# F( jBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with9 [0 q2 K5 v) e5 r. \
"z" and "w" with "v".4 s R' E- E/ g, ]- u) R
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
$ p7 f5 V/ w$ n1 mafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
- o7 h7 h9 q) M- }understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru./ {8 _3 f8 g: R! C" H: c! q
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze: ?6 r& {& a- W) \" T0 C z+ b
forst plas.
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+ {8 v( ~9 G" J1 ?: _' [If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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