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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
% r! t+ y g k' w9 d! I0 nbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
, J1 |7 ^2 m, J8 F5 W/ uthe other possibility.% n- k l3 R v5 }& Q E! h
+ a) k. \1 B1 XAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English$ r; {; m% m, J7 n
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
2 O3 C( s' h$ g+ l8 Qplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make3 h K0 G3 I$ a$ v# ?% {
the sivil servants jump with joy.
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: ~7 W5 Z2 S$ ?2 [+ NThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up# j. l& ~& J6 d7 f7 t1 o& Z* l
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.6 Y2 D& M4 v( K' I, |7 a
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# @4 X9 Y( p1 T: Y; R# c) aThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the W0 d6 s! B7 Q4 J
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like, {- m' Z6 Y! b6 r5 S
fotograf 20% shorter./ X. ^# Y* i' X7 Y7 v9 H
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to0 I3 V, \! V) D
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.. v* L) T! s8 a n3 r/ X
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always* q$ Q! \$ h# @" y8 {$ W% ~* ~
ben a deterent to akurate speling.5 {6 @! `0 k6 V1 [, G! z
! t% T9 S0 K9 }; VAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
# \. Y7 ]* h7 J8 Ldisgrasful and it should go away.) d# e" U) I! h% ]4 p
. i: z- j) H' {0 B/ fBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with9 b3 Q1 Z+ M" j, Y# Z- I- A
"z" and "w" with "v".
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3 k' S) t: ]0 S% o8 yDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
! B& }9 d* P" [. Lafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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" X) ?6 A Y- M+ [. Y6 UZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
3 y4 O5 c1 _; z/ Iunderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru." m0 @2 F# M2 f& `
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze0 _! u' }: B$ x0 a8 a* ]! W
forst plas.
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- t, x% I$ t/ j- ~/ c ~- Y' vIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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