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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
3 \% w, z& L, {( O# N/ |' \be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was* t6 F* t9 j4 C1 ]- J) S3 X5 |/ ?
the other possibility.
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English# C6 }% f& U( v/ a" z) D
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
5 L2 R# C) L' k/ l. pplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".5 r0 ~* V" s" r3 t: d, D
1 v- J9 Z8 ]% P- v. j. A9 TIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
% t7 o" \ r1 N8 A3 [/ h3 Y0 uthe sivil servants jump with joy.
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
c, f" s$ r1 X5 Kkonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the- P* c; Q! p/ `) `5 o+ r
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like4 s9 l0 ~2 M* \9 ^- Y$ F# b6 P
fotograf 20% shorter.& B/ Q7 I1 b# o0 M {$ @
( w9 {( K5 u0 _6 AIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
% y' T" s) h* T- Y. N" Ureach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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) S3 @1 w& M! F# l3 mGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always3 R% Q1 p+ V" F" u% g" f }
ben a deterent to akurate speling.* w: S+ _: y/ I5 G# u
: Y- n6 Q8 t1 {8 q% R% e6 }' j, PAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is; Z" v8 S/ A5 S- G4 P, F! U
disgrasful and it should go away.
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with/ l+ _. L: l7 f, L8 G0 n
"z" and "w" with "v".9 [0 \7 X) @& ]/ u5 d" N+ V+ ^: \0 j1 Y
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
- V3 I6 R P$ D& C7 B# }after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu, Q3 `9 u. E" P q1 W" ~' F! Y
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.( n2 |4 q# H. j9 h# ]
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
" ]. d3 c+ n2 J. S+ lforst plas., o% O/ {7 I" R3 V% }1 c) d% U/ |
1 W: w; d6 `4 s5 yIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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