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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
/ x+ r( W1 h' ]/ C9 ^be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was' q+ M% x+ o# X$ m$ H5 n4 p/ ]
the other possibility.6 U" e9 `+ P3 K; v" I0 d! l
/ a& _! B# C0 D6 H% o7 C y& x8 O; a- v, S) vAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
$ X2 c/ X; @, z) o _, _spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in1 M- { o' _* D
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".3 ]& H( F& i3 i" Y
8 r$ P$ I3 h1 T8 bIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make, a" L% J L6 \" \; \# C
the sivil servants jump with joy.
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
: E# O4 O) Z2 u5 d: m0 x* ukonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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1 p2 a$ Z" B' I8 V' y' EThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the! O) e3 e( z# N+ q
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
; [7 d: c w. w$ Efotograf 20% shorter.
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to' e# h! v1 Y9 A# X' r5 |1 R& w; @
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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0 H. @# U# j2 C) O$ V4 g s( RGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always! x) Q+ H3 n9 j4 N6 H
ben a deterent to akurate speling.
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
/ x# m7 E8 E' Y( o* `7 B) W+ E! qdisgrasful and it should go away.) G n2 i' J8 H% x" W
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with" G; G" o4 Z: _, P- u( w
"z" and "w" with "v".8 ^% E2 G0 r j5 z( g
2 ~8 c" b; t: v% D& a; N) K# oDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and5 H0 B( P& \' v: L; |
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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" ^0 @$ c9 J: W* FZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu* m. |* G; H! c2 ]" P
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
' P% T8 m6 @5 S: V' F7 rUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze4 u1 j- D2 b( V/ ~# [
forst plas.6 k! W+ e0 W9 K- Z2 m- `! U
) V6 C _$ l' S, M: k8 ~4 X) aIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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