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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
! e6 J+ g$ z4 F& \be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
7 e# B0 H: s4 h E7 pthe other possibility.
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6 i6 w o% S$ _6 kAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
& Y3 I( g0 _: \- A: Z" `4 @spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in$ k8 }. v$ }! D1 F- @
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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, v7 H& M0 ?% oIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
6 m& y4 o' M( o3 Y1 u3 ?6 o# Jthe sivil servants jump with joy.
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up/ t+ ?/ e3 U5 v8 z
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the( N4 x2 T# j. y0 g0 O
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
- X x8 `' Q6 J, Z8 I/ ffotograf 20% shorter.6 V' V: c& ]8 {8 E$ o
) H6 d7 Q5 j) J5 VIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to) J1 I9 ?! M) J2 a4 M9 ^
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.' a& f5 r" x! Z6 M5 m
. |6 M# l6 k+ M* T e* FGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always" J7 ^) \5 E5 e
ben a deterent to akurate speling.9 I0 g) y) }. Z P4 X+ \% }
" }/ c% a1 a( R+ F5 _1 B+ x' Z8 qAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is: }/ n, T2 U! b% ?7 G& q
disgrasful and it should go away.- P3 [8 }5 K0 q
% m8 U- a1 n) a( }$ OBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
! I+ r% w- L1 d* ?7 d6 K8 F. i$ b"z" and "w" with "v".( `* C1 R2 V7 ]" @1 ?0 D% g
- h- j9 q: o& @9 VDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and; S7 i. b8 e' M" N3 u1 J+ M
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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) N' i' L, c' i+ X- k% G9 C) nZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
7 }' V5 [7 r, T0 R3 K: Munderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru. G' J- }' V$ L/ L- i" G4 V
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze; ?: d% T$ s, J& b
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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