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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
' c' C b2 e' vbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
& P9 }1 l U+ ~+ [7 `the other possibility.
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0 a: B9 U# l) T4 c, ^As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English9 c/ v9 A& y6 \8 H- Y; t
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in) A' ]. f% A* q# t# g l5 t
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish". T. t: n, s1 _1 j# K: |) I6 w
8 S; K0 O1 W) F9 X0 [% NIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
- f3 Y3 K( U2 o h) x% W2 A- D. B1 {! @the sivil servants jump with joy.
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
) F: h( b! y5 e( Jkonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
6 f- ^- X) l5 D' P1 L( B7 Ftroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
( n- A# n$ X5 _7 _fotograf 20% shorter.( F5 e5 x: i8 D
$ i. d* t# f; g7 [In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
_! `7 Z: l$ q) o1 Y3 v9 E- Areach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always: K$ y5 o( [4 l- L1 D, f( C
ben a deterent to akurate speling.
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
; A9 K5 K. O9 P" kdisgrasful and it should go away.9 d1 _ v* l! e0 P6 t' f
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
: D. @, s4 O; p5 n* r" Z5 N; _"z" and "w" with "v".
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
2 h% q, b5 @2 L+ Yafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.2 n- L A( S& N3 y
0 O( r" ^3 {# ]& p( SZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu7 a6 `, d/ v$ A ]/ u3 c- N( Q
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
" S6 ]7 H' d. [Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze: m# k M( J. }1 P/ n9 O
forst plas.
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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