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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will A. [' g1 B T7 Q7 `+ ~
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was$ f- z4 a+ `" Q; f
the other possibility.# X. @: j" ?0 [5 U. {8 O
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English* c4 T9 o1 c0 n4 ]1 I
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in! S9 j. \1 V5 b6 T
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make' M8 R. l! z) C3 Q, H
the sivil servants jump with joy.
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
4 n2 k3 K4 d3 n% {0 C9 Qkonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.4 N; I) e! [% F+ P0 }8 p& U
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) ^, Z* l& `# C% V0 cThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
$ u- n. d# M/ U4 n, Etroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
% W& a, }" k- Mfotograf 20% shorter.5 t7 w$ }- u/ I" a' {
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to6 j( J( K/ z$ Y! ?* n2 x
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.9 n! i; R! o o4 Q4 S7 H
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always. d1 u- A& j* h* V
ben a deterent to akurate speling.5 A% N- H4 ]* {8 T6 i- q0 }, v
8 O8 B6 d1 e: @0 g' {2 r! m6 tAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is$ L: h3 z# j0 T& b
disgrasful and it should go away.
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5 X3 e% F8 m% x0 c# wBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
* f! }# z0 s$ N"z" and "w" with "v".
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% D, @3 V$ j9 i/ q* M/ fDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and# N6 A. m- d( h. L+ m/ m4 v0 u
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu" W1 Z* Z1 }2 @/ M+ _ h
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.7 Z4 r7 S; T& `: s N
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
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H1 r$ B# ?+ a$ r3 Z' I H& AIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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