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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
/ s0 m& L/ N5 e4 Fbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
1 X$ |0 f+ n7 l' w# \the other possibility.+ t! ] [( a. @
$ J8 i0 M. x* w. e9 @' b- `& ?As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English) j/ y* ~! J' p$ C6 Z4 M% Q7 O
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in- L) \* e1 c7 o K( i: j
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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; O" s% S/ j7 {In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
1 J$ o. ]: C) H/ f( e! M* athe sivil servants jump with joy.5 P. a( _0 z" }. D) n; q- |
; Z! K8 \3 o+ G) e# H3 U* {The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up, ~" X3 Q2 U# d; X
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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4 A/ F$ _! q B C. u. QThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the% K( o" f1 ~/ H' s; q% z0 g1 F
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like# w; V# M' v: C; m4 ]
fotograf 20% shorter.: | a0 I/ i7 p# D: f+ [) ~
# D5 v; m" L) M6 RIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
- R% j0 b9 a c" Q' c, L1 h& Breach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
0 N# u! T# e% Z! k* Iben a deterent to akurate speling.2 n, Z* t/ B' Z% \6 {
8 m0 {" w/ X; H2 o7 s& i9 ]Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is6 b+ q# `+ @, m' Y; v2 W' n: V9 I
disgrasful and it should go away.5 R ]' S, @( y( `5 v
- B* e) |. W% V5 O* c" j uBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with( x2 g0 ^. _9 {& R @/ f$ P5 L! r
"z" and "w" with "v".
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l( j; j( j1 q4 j0 vDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
: R+ m3 V7 v# U' x7 Qafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu7 l: a" L/ }; ^6 W/ q
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.2 r) T7 I3 o! r* V7 k
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze- _+ D- c5 _* i/ @8 q* u
forst plas.
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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