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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will0 r. I$ L: t# [
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was! Y$ v) K* R* d9 x# U3 }
the other possibility.
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English; f6 l% n3 Z( O& U5 M2 F
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in* M( {" I4 e5 o8 g) x
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".6 V: [. h& @ O, G- O# |6 K9 V
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
( J3 D& O- Y% e, M, sthe sivil servants jump with joy.1 j7 y7 l* \; q! E4 D4 f" N8 u
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
/ [' ? w. ?$ `1 dkonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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3 R3 X, e g) ], z( X* D% q8 G, l9 }There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the+ p7 c/ c+ Q2 P
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
( }( K3 u: T" q& yfotograf 20% shorter.
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% a! p8 I2 K" qIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to0 l- U: v( Z( G s8 [
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.# C: b1 _- a. g! [3 C8 }
n1 \$ s, \# D8 kGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always: }7 l: Y$ Z( D: \" a
ben a deterent to akurate speling.% I: H) E Y1 r
7 i& J( Z) g% u0 o- s9 B% u6 uAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is# ?3 W! j5 [+ k: y3 {
disgrasful and it should go away.
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' M2 w. j" ?4 Z* C' `$ NBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with. c' v1 F z, \6 T( p' g; U5 r+ f
"z" and "w" with "v".- @2 Q& u' V2 ?- N0 E" h' N N
9 n6 K+ A/ ]. O9 O( ?) L8 K* zDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
, `# ]' O' @3 k* cafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.4 \2 ]& a9 A7 G9 S2 w
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
. G) x2 W2 |# p* n6 w/ H) Nunderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.5 E2 I% h) M1 }; C$ A: w( X
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
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( l2 R F8 W4 u; ?% P4 HIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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