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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
3 Z7 D! a8 s3 \be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
# ~$ V* t, p0 F3 E! Y+ t* {the other possibility.
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
g) }: j8 d- W0 [( s/ n! Qspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
& M+ f6 ~) _# [. b1 e* o& \plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".( m9 r) |: l1 d: \" I: P
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
7 y, f. ?, c; U% Tthe sivil servants jump with joy.
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7 S2 M! L3 J r6 y! C% ]The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up9 q& |) m6 Q7 T8 q1 d& _
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.( p* C M8 {1 {) x! {
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3 Y0 D3 [& C7 S2 |+ n+ aThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
4 A; s- B9 W9 | Y! F: C' b% [troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
5 C8 A9 C% u Cfotograf 20% shorter.7 J0 |4 s o4 R* |0 L
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
7 i' P2 H" Y/ ]% J ]3 Z# U# F+ Qreach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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% K" _) N4 Y& w# |Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
$ ^, U; N+ A* P+ n1 f% f. Yben a deterent to akurate speling.9 ` c3 b: h' E
7 K6 ?3 R# l3 p$ m* QAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
% d) l. B8 ]0 P( mdisgrasful and it should go away.( C4 ^# J$ {6 s6 Q
: d7 V# ?3 m' |By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
v0 F2 Z8 h4 [% B: h2 Q"z" and "w" with "v".
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and. w! m; S3 Y7 s! F
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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1 q% H4 C0 p! Y# R6 \4 nZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
2 U8 V6 T* P1 W( ^5 Funderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.8 ?, b- T2 k8 I; ]
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze* Z) g" f+ [$ o# K+ i
forst plas.
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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