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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will9 ^! I ?+ C% H/ x9 Z
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
' l; I) Y) r+ P" pthe other possibility.+ K! ^$ W& w: }: c. [
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
4 d; R" Q( V7 fspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in+ C; |- j+ W9 a, i6 X1 @. n
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".& l- V, c* d% d3 q; a
% |5 F3 L+ D! y. mIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make* h \. l/ I0 k! v2 w7 v
the sivil servants jump with joy.
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4 b7 q2 R/ o5 f8 x% x6 j `The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up' o4 n1 g' r- F) i5 W
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
, x' |2 h0 b" z7 w+ D1 B7 ytroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like9 N8 G2 f" i1 x, T2 x
fotograf 20% shorter.6 s1 K; t5 P0 x, R' S
% s( R' ^% y" F7 d: c
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
; Y3 O; x% o1 S, ~4 g4 }5 [8 greach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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8 R6 }4 f% `# ?; K# E( }6 i) ?4 i! vGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always+ E9 \/ c% p8 ]1 U6 \7 Z1 ^& X Q
ben a deterent to akurate speling.
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is" F8 D" c, @ h# c, G$ x
disgrasful and it should go away.$ x3 D c: h' w; L8 f
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with. @9 u2 Y3 E" }5 D; g3 G" O/ g' D* s
"z" and "w" with "v".
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7 O9 m |, {- W+ fDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and0 Q N3 c( C4 ]9 r$ |! ~6 W4 ?
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.( m5 }* c; B. `" G+ }+ l
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
, L: X' I; z+ n" H9 n4 r# `- Lunderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.3 w4 D7 m, C) z# U
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze: ]. t4 @7 V/ G- c+ r9 }
forst plas.
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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