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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will( F' e$ o7 z0 L9 X
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was. }0 J9 E' F% u2 z% I3 F
the other possibility.
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English7 Q4 V% W) T& o2 ~, b; t7 K- w! X
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in% v6 I, o+ Y- O: Z* D/ L4 g. Z5 I
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make0 l! h5 C4 I/ o# K
the sivil servants jump with joy.' M8 p- [# A; ]$ @- c6 u; g
/ X% k9 I' a4 C5 n8 F/ [5 UThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
0 [. N9 y; |; U* u3 Akonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the5 R# b) u0 H4 B5 e& R
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like& K. n' D# }0 g3 f! \; d
fotograf 20% shorter.( I3 Z$ J+ E! x; ^1 X* ^3 {
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
7 ? R; Z$ e/ G# C9 ]3 g/ Q. oreach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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2 O A+ {" d2 g0 h( i" TGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
$ N0 m$ @/ f& b5 V3 ~ben a deterent to akurate speling.
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
+ j! C: U% n* f! Qdisgrasful and it should go away.
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
6 ]5 j1 @" p$ H+ Y+ Q"z" and "w" with "v".
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Y, o; B+ @1 S- t1 x0 y2 t3 {9 W$ PDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
' v$ V! d; k, X. v# R( ^after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.9 L! E: g7 e+ g7 E8 J
) v8 y& r- y' {: T$ o1 L* bZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
6 @8 p/ K2 Z- Aunderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.' {' H& S$ ~' L% j
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze! ~! p- `1 Z% T# Z
forst plas.
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& E% Y3 `0 i0 l3 A6 U4 }5 JIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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