 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.# X5 d( C0 m8 L9 P" W. J
' p' v- a" ~0 l+ KI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.- m; X$ ]& J! [0 _# f
* X# j5 w8 @5 P; t& y# E; n, D! e, k' MI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
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Q$ L5 P# S; ZI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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& D4 q+ N9 a0 v0 x6 R- d"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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+ M2 C+ U1 R& V) x: A1 M, h# m5 OI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?' w$ J9 c$ J) D7 I9 n; B
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And the second one was:. _( g9 J; P: m
6 [; x2 ]% W0 D$ I"What's the 2nd Amendment?"( M' ^ ]5 Z* {2 M# K- @7 ]$ s$ ]( s
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?0 R/ J% N: f5 b; i8 }
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"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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' D o! @& r; y1 ]1 g0 I/ r8 {I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?% I8 N, V1 x- k# x# O
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I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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3 g7 u' _3 F* w7 wI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
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- q, m3 }/ j" N# S' u" uSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"7 m' ?% t3 Q( E* P3 N5 A
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Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”) Q% [* z7 s& ?: v' U3 K" x! N
0 k$ ^" W+ i3 I1 C! U6 vThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.% |5 _" O' e- \2 W9 y2 P
e9 h8 g& d. R7 wThank you very much!
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9 W" }3 I$ x, XImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:1 a9 O$ Z! ^" b1 ?
+ g( \4 @ }/ w2 H; f" N* R7 u1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.+ g, k: R6 N- K [+ [
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.; |6 E/ b9 z! K2 |
. D$ A! U. v+ {: A; {! j# I( y"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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* ^" e+ V5 ?$ |6 A' r9 K3 O+ wJoe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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6 p% L" o8 s {+ [% VRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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5 ?6 l: [% i* BThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-5-5 20:01
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发表于 2009-5-5 21:39
