 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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2 T: f6 o$ M9 G; N+ @I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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9 f) ^! x- \/ U; i1 M+ H& r3 SI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
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5 R9 x8 e( W% }6 u( P" e" ^& [( SI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:0 _* \0 g/ F+ r) h, C
4 v% G" f5 f# t' l# B. [& L- ~# a"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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And the second one was:" z: g8 U1 D% r# B: Y
4 ?8 M) _ t' {; p4 u& L"What's the 2nd Amendment?"/ m: `, l# j. H5 ^! s
$ I4 U, `5 V9 ~' oI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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"What is Roe vs. Wade?"/ y$ w$ R3 }% H* j; \$ ]" D
$ q3 X4 N' t' z; NI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
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; H* G( P/ h2 T$ ^$ `7 D9 }So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"8 q! y) @0 G6 m O6 P( S
W1 g- i E8 g2 e/ f2 f. @Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”) [2 Y6 N. Y; I% h4 Z1 l" Q
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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Thank you very much!
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Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:, Q% d \' C" i3 H+ H0 {+ c
- I: Y* ?5 E4 r+ o1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill. C/ n: q0 X8 {9 i: r: f) y
- m1 l: Q$ I7 d) A+ L3 x. @; P2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".# ~" \8 |, z# f2 z/ s6 q( }
1 C. n1 u: f6 z/ rRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.5 y a9 L6 w$ x+ a! |7 |6 ~: ~
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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