 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.+ r' Q# E0 g; B8 T8 m( |
8 F( T; I1 D6 N; P
I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.+ }: K6 v# q; d7 Q
( c5 ^- l0 E9 V/ |$ kI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
% Y) V* X K0 @0 Y/ b" k: z% Z% k' k& v, X
I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
; {9 A2 B9 d7 B9 X' `; D) R, l$ P! s0 K
"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"! l4 k! [# r# T
+ ?8 O. ~. Z# P: }+ N8 M
I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
9 _( K5 i7 d1 x9 D6 b" X' J
/ T6 z, {5 Q: ~) jAnd the second one was:3 X2 a3 Q8 D( ^. |; T* `
; x- `! G# E ?4 [, w"What's the 2nd Amendment?"/ t1 ~9 d+ c8 j: w) u* z
2 S' [+ \( q% r& D' s: o
I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
* c/ `; A4 Z. C9 v. b$ U/ K; H7 n9 j7 H& l/ f2 ^/ r9 G: y# L
"What is Roe vs. Wade?"2 L1 J3 N# I, r0 c& n
! F- m' h# A4 } M# i/ Y% ^6 HI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
" u, b- E0 O0 d. P- K3 R2 e, D4 r8 u7 e) a$ V" P, j2 W
I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
2 `; _% b1 S2 N. G7 Z
5 M- z1 I) t9 g& hI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen." b7 p) A# r3 R7 C" X
2 R* K2 r0 {" bSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
. N( K5 ^0 F9 b9 c, C* l
8 \2 u6 ~# B9 G1 g% i4 `, Z" INow I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
+ p- G4 V8 A% }' ~) F% F9 O$ p6 ?! s; w }' x3 _3 ]
This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
/ m" Y1 H( ~6 ^! ~" h1 E$ e6 |! t6 I# ~0 `! c" ?6 h
Thank you very much!
+ z& [" j6 r; i1 u% B) z7 e S8 m" M* P; j& U" A
==========================
# E3 y% a! l! N, p7 p' o# J4 ?
4 B/ ]4 X: @4 L r, o3 q3 }( sImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:! i3 |7 L+ d9 X& u' ^ ~
+ Q3 \# p+ f& Q5 L- e1 {
1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
6 m Z' b* V/ I; G+ T) H1 t
* ~# A( G# @8 L& p3 i( l4 n2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
0 E0 U% Y3 i: x r' \: \1 M& ?0 D# p: N
0 ~ O& y1 g+ u$ M2 h/ w"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
( A2 e; L! t' L' ?, B# x) J
1 I5 D! M+ D: Q. bJoe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".) h9 C( t& N/ E4 |
1 F+ a% s' V/ U& `" q3 \ PRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
$ M* e a; _& ^/ i$ M/ ?) a$ y" Q3 m( w, X& d
The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
|