 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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6 f7 ?4 d& R# L( X II'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you. R: p4 Y7 M" y& L) b
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I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
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| ~9 n6 V! [I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:; A% p a" q! Y7 f" z
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"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"+ _6 H* c$ m4 `# o* c% C
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?# p( @/ C1 U+ j2 [4 M% \6 u7 h
9 n- w% B$ h1 N1 |3 vAnd the second one was:
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+ p! s, r* |; f6 x; E"What's the 2nd Amendment?"4 J p" A5 E$ p) t" [( u; I& P
6 ~; N; Y0 @: F" {) dI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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7 o+ @) s. @' M* N& Y"What is Roe vs. Wade?"1 z3 y& q5 G& r, |
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I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!% J' G% `0 R2 O6 _2 S# |
: f& j; r! @3 cI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
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So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"1 o* s3 }! O: E4 ?
- P$ y! A4 f/ @/ zNow I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”( `% q- C7 w! a9 y+ ?
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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: w0 j2 m+ G/ P# F4 p' Z' o1 o8 tThank you very much!
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Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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* K/ `9 |* _" r G1 O( f; P2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.. [: e2 O* X5 X3 s- b# Y) M, d, s. {
. p$ R. a( q7 Q5 V"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.9 Z* S1 S q: A' Q2 p
6 ?! z/ O' U( z, X' \7 W5 ]+ E6 xJoe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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$ y% v1 u& n9 x3 I! O9 X0 ERoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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