 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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) y$ A! a, d7 @" U" g; l0 LI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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2 J9 r. _/ o0 ^ E/ fI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.. [$ L9 V% t1 R" m
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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7 W8 o: l( Y* K+ o"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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. p" B- U7 k- yAnd the second one was:
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B5 w" }; S, w' a1 U+ z) W# i"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?0 v* F1 ?' H) a& {
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"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?# B0 P# I/ Q, z1 o* x
' `6 P$ ~% i7 v" N1 fI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
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2 K% D5 N, u0 C/ k2 OSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
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4 W5 T* |3 L3 J) E6 u. A9 ~1 rNow I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.: V" d1 Z# X! _3 {3 N2 I1 I
4 {6 _. _6 {- }! Z9 G6 x2 F( \5 vThank you very much!
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% Q2 ` a; n5 W* s( `' ]$ iImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.1 q" |/ v5 ?$ Y; S! C- q
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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$ A: j1 @/ a2 E6 A1 }Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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& G$ s+ R9 b {# m2 C. PThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-5-5 20:01
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发表于 2009-5-5 21:39
