Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
% E" L' s3 I; J( b8 T7 c4 d/ o' rDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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# g2 X* h- H- o. b* M5 q" [  B# O" IJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
+ A$ q& ?+ K- n6 Y8 X; Q! L  I9 A4 JCandidates must possess excellent communication
7 ?1 f: g! z, ~  ?and organizational skills and be willing to work
3 \" W! V& {5 h/ R, @; F" @- nvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
( U. d8 y# ]/ W/ Sprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
) r& |% W1 b2 m  @; e) Kendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
  ^8 E; h/ l/ l" c' ^# r8 D3 ountil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
0 j# L; o+ Y) l( \% R: X/ TAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
0 f7 O: z$ K- {0 U" L2 W$ qand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
  b2 s2 {, h' ]- n% @in case, this time, the screams from
0 @  I: D5 g; [+ q: Fthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
7 B6 w! H7 z/ U/ Gsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
- f  |" A4 |) X% i- {9 lcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
$ R0 @% i" c( ^+ nMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
& ], b2 U! q7 L# r6 I% pan embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
- M1 h* h5 _  r; {6 j& Bhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
8 }1 W% |  F4 p" e( S' xthe quality of the end product.
: ?% h/ L0 ^/ Z- W; m( S5 dResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
5 U3 B! U7 r, ]- H, M$ P: \3 hNone.
" b+ b* w/ P* b1 \3 d7 gYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
1 B5 K: ]6 J5 Q4 I# Pwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
5 T* @; ^2 V* X: z( `, rupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
; Y% q; q) g- y+ h( TOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

3 o/ o2 T  z. S5 T+ F% aWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
% f1 V* t% Q! p9 p9 D$ ^1 {- UOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
& O6 S4 W( z4 z3 l2 k3 k' Da balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
2 @% @- p: R% q5 obecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
7 T$ A1 H! w  e. x- tThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
$ Q5 I- i9 c& Y2 @( Oyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
' ^. V5 Y) V, x5 j, J% a6 o
BENEFITS:
( K" M3 Q6 S9 {While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
" g' [, e2 K$ k- q; X' [7 W
unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
$ B! c4 ]  {1 |8 I5 r5 }. T
0 c& J" m" b9 ~; kfor life if you play your cards right.

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5 @# W: M4 X% `

( s5 K& @, P$ X. h- S4 C** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
: E+ N# }; M% c$ r. X+ G# ?for the fabulous job they do...
1 s: j* T4 G$ Z5 z9 ~! V" Ior forward with love
1 Q9 [+ Y$ u( ~1 h" fto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

# v' M* P5 d) \' F$ s+ E3 Q

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.