Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


; Q, A- l7 l0 qJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
7 w1 C/ l8 b; }3 X$ @/ W/ K9 j& jand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
3 k5 p! a( ?! @1 iand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
: B: Y) d" C+ n! V8 X0 z$ _, }' iExtensive courier duties also required.

* `) O4 F: E9 }4 t1 iRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
1 s5 j+ y: c( Z* v1 w" x/ RMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
# |# E" u+ }. r/ |4 l" h8 z) _Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
  d: X' z5 N# R! }3 OAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
' c# J/ H( S0 s5 B; yin case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
3 e( ^: y, k4 z/ {/ _5 n6 O4 P6 w) EMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
7 c# P) P; |  T* fMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
2 W. Q2 C. d' X  Q. @2 ZMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
% I6 |# E; g! r9 ean embarrassment the next.
; o1 O+ F/ U% |9 j6 PMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
! A7 [* d  k- C9 w& t8 J# whalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
% G2 N- \- U1 y( q7 ]9 ^Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
! O- j6 x& u2 l! C+ F( pjanitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
3 |  @' {' `! R+ U2 ^without complaining,constantly retraining and
0 q2 W0 n. c( M- }( N) Z0 x0 Oupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
- `, \7 s" V  M8 ycan ultimately surpass you.


PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
- F4 ~: y$ P$ \4 w/ T- Zof the assumption that college will help them
2 c" P) q! Z9 R" i! X4 Gbecome financially independent.
6 ?' C: h1 l8 W% B4 y+ GWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
! P: g% f# A4 V- [$ Pyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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$ g6 O. S4 m& S7 NBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
$ `! ]. E. b* q! Cno stock options are offered,
* X$ ]+ l  |9 J& Z( }this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
- `1 q/ c4 Q% K, V' P. n) }
unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

' A5 M1 D3 f' F% A& M9 X/ @) v' Kfor life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
, H) }* x3 f, E3 ]" p% G  ?" Oletting them know they are appreciated
( N- _. z1 J3 R$ xfor the fabulous job they do...
  U0 I2 X- S8 Dor forward with love
3 I0 g. t5 ^2 r# d0 u; q+ |' N: Vto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

5 h: X, ~4 w8 Z1 b0 F9 E3 c

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.