Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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, m( L3 g, H! ?+ k2 ]3 eJOB DESCRIPTION:
; e7 o6 w! d9 |) a. H5 R; f# f9 n+ \Long term, team players needed for challenging,

& k3 J9 K% {- Ppermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
% i( v& v: X4 @7 p( f- y! nCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
( I3 u; C' W$ i9 Fendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
3 W* Z/ }  g. D5 [Extensive courier duties also required.

/ U& @$ T% S4 F; N4 P* cRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
9 D. p. }, T* Q, Q' T; T* TMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
4 Z1 g1 n+ F# J+ [until someone needs $5.
! f; \5 A/ a0 B% [5 [Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
7 L! A- O( X( S) r& P$ W, s4 w# pAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
1 W! M( x1 A5 _: A4 G* A' Eand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
+ F5 ^  l/ t# z& ?7 x* l* b- |5 m0 lin case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
( n+ H& K) O1 z/ k- Vsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
, Z, e' p6 f7 R; T# Nand stuck zippers.
, D9 d: l2 ?2 a! ^* a2 BMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
7 ?' T9 ]& A5 i& C4 m* h4 scoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
% E9 p# N; H# B3 S  ]# XMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
( J3 Z7 u5 E8 x8 Z) Z/ pMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
$ m- g6 F+ W" Q7 O3 Ian embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
& }8 b' F; o4 K) t4 ahalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
1 Q2 K' [/ M- a" lMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
+ R$ m2 x8 o/ w9 A: f8 m3 V5 W& F" rthe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
  g  H  e9 e  v. bjanitorial work  throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
9 n4 E* t7 U, X; P# H4 jNone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
  N. A$ c& G5 \" w4 u( a- C* rupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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% z$ P  E: t1 S9 r, v0 I1 K% JPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
" J3 p) K- t2 Z* R9 PNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
3 I) B2 B8 Q) O4 k' dOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
/ w* ~( o) D8 Z  {3 Z2 ^a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
' [0 {! M, K+ u  OWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
; E: i( c, H0 t7 V9 UThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
) S: p* a; w' C, l+ @. Gno stock options are offered,
+ N6 U  D: D+ ^6 hthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

, S- f- H% ?' w5 C* Z8 |, ~$ lfor life if you play your cards right.
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3 \" V; z0 d. X2 Y$ _2 R** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **



/ x4 }+ N( S# g7 YForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
- J" I8 O, y, c; z) I3 qletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
3 l* g. M' u' s0 N5 ]or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.