 鲜花( 3)  鸡蛋( 0)
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9 E& l9 ~$ l2 VMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma , G3 Q# M: @" [" ~1 d8 }
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
" t0 s# D9 u6 G5 \, J& v# ]Long term, team players needed for challenging,# H- j* u5 z' W$ }4 G3 U. L
- |1 m o+ a* ?: Q, g9 r. fpermanent work in an often chaotic environment. ) ~/ }$ B' u( j
Candidates must possess excellent communication ; }8 D, I/ ?2 x7 n/ i/ L
and organizational skills and be willing to work . n0 T/ j( G$ C6 t; W3 L- H
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends 1 i4 f7 y; y# D6 `
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
) ^8 I! O2 S: l q+ J, z, `7 HSome overnight travel required, including trips to # W3 `* M/ `* Z/ L4 o1 R
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
5 t, d8 Z0 f1 k) p2 {/ ~endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
7 n4 k, }5 G& B+ U9 D8 uTravel expenses not reimbursed.
9 c" n5 S( ~+ O. GExtensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
; d1 a8 H$ f9 M" Y; g4 I- I8 wThe rest of your life. ; s/ V; D& g; o- E
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, ( P( w) H8 C2 W
until someone needs $5.
% v' S# C+ Q7 p7 KMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. . e! [& S2 U% d$ ^/ c& r9 i7 S" {
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule ( G! h6 M# F" p6 \; a
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
* \( Y! `* w% c8 w; a l& ~) G0 z6 iin case, this time, the screams from # o# D6 Q; H6 [3 e4 r
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. % s; V; H- z+ K
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
! X- t3 F# H$ O9 x1 rsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
+ Z: a. ^; j: {$ o& f" a$ kand stuck zippers. 0 h, \8 i9 F. g: B/ L
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
7 N$ U7 I4 p J6 ^coordinate production of multiple homework projects. / J- k% b5 ?' A( a0 r+ ~/ W3 B0 P
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
; k" h# Q9 r9 }; U; LMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute, 7 j& r- M' [5 a$ u S4 @! p1 v2 J
an embarrassment the next. % m" H; \) ?( F1 x
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a 7 t4 p* [% l% ]5 }
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
, B d- c7 O7 _1 F# W, LMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
3 {2 @5 ?& d" w: LMust assume final, complete accountability for
# d) q! @* b* zthe quality of the end product.
F$ n. M7 X6 V1 d5 V8 H" e* PResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and ) c/ N1 a. N0 C$ g; a
janitorial work throughout the facility. 9 C3 Y) f% X: a
) u1 w& j' G' W$ z0 ?( r" @POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:7 V& w9 n; x9 R
None. 4 _8 P" @# ^8 O/ u3 i
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
# ?" U5 D5 R0 F! P7 S( Y& mwithout complaining,constantly retraining and * d/ T+ }* X# z# P# L
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
' a1 e( q/ G3 g% scan ultimately surpass you.% T8 N, q# s& g! P: w/ c
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
% i+ e/ H( N) Y; y: m1 j# L, sNone required, unfortunately.
( J& e( b, K% v3 u# a; i1 wOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis. 6 ^" P& B8 ]. Y! j% [4 e: R- @
( T8 s. J/ e2 {1 u/ fWAGES AND COMPENSATION: ( F6 G* m4 k8 d+ b2 E( Y. l1 N
Get this! You pay them!
6 `6 G% I, x8 n% \! oOffering frequent raises and bonuses. ( `5 q ^# n. ]/ T. Y* r; q! Y; g
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because ! y& f/ U5 O9 v
of the assumption that college will help them - C u5 f% I4 Q) s5 T/ y8 Y ]
become financially independent. 1 _9 W+ P1 @3 [) X) u& e
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
: ]1 j4 m4 k- i$ c( @6 Q; I# M, lThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that & j# Y/ a4 E- G' @1 w
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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0 _ h3 t7 V0 X* \0 Q, RBENEFITS:
/ q ~! I8 _/ l8 G( ]While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension, 1 [0 o/ B% z j1 ]$ j3 F
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and 9 Q9 [0 L8 `" @* E) }/ q' R
no stock options are offered,/ {, z: q! I6 Z
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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( a9 J# X ?; o U( g A" J# Rfor life if you play your cards right.
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8 j1 J7 p _) B! U7 w** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **# |* ^2 ]% v0 ^! u
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
6 O @: Z9 K; k5 S' pletting them know they are appreciated ; |# M1 ^ L4 d/ [+ Q3 C4 p
for the fabulous job they do... ! i. O! R" H3 F; D1 j+ ^
or forward with love
4 y9 r. V$ w; k! O7 j/ a) l7 cto anyone thinking of applying for the job.5 Z" x6 p* a0 t* g4 A* T7 `
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47
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显身卡
发表于 2009-4-25 07:19
