Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


' v1 m$ u7 J$ z, J7 g, Q" m4 kJOB DESCRIPTION:
4 C5 o1 o* c+ a- h! R/ \Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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$ Z, \+ T  r& q6 P" npermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
* A7 E6 @# Z( \and organizational skills and be willing to work
" z- }1 N5 O. O! t& X3 wvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
8 _2 W) X: \/ `& H! Wand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
+ N. ?2 T/ `* N! A: Pendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
% O0 f1 i' m# b8 I0 }7 HTravel expenses not reimbursed.
6 `4 G3 B& n% {* G4 U$ c3 \Extensive courier duties also required.
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0 i- q) M" G! R( y! nRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
1 |7 V/ ^; B# m' ]Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
; Z2 l; k" c) z, C0 aand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
+ d6 Y1 }% z# E' ~3 B! Tthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
- J: V* k$ {0 W9 QMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
  ^2 x" u8 }0 B3 |: Dsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
5 S8 d' x0 i$ w" gMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
2 H  W$ m# o) N. q" ^2 dMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
7 S8 o* e& F9 q: s8 [/ }/ fhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
2 l0 b- G$ Q/ Z& p6 v: ?Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
# Q+ s# C- e1 BMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
+ t% e0 N3 c/ b% w2 jNone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
3 [& ^! {4 A" @# {6 f, qwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.

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3 k$ y' z: V  X7 y4 G, t2 GPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
1 T. P( m- j* t/ l+ L+ {% iNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
' a6 s+ s) H6 j5 bOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
  E& y* X0 {/ k# ]8 e/ iof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
1 Z0 {6 C! k- cThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
  p$ Z$ Y. \7 b7 _0 Eyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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2 y, I5 `# f9 z2 o, y) m9 ]+ FBENEFITS:
. l) i% T4 u: M  i& N" iWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
$ w6 m# T/ I& g+ @+ S" G
+ A5 x) z# P6 z2 Junconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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7 `. \6 P2 J( R; A. [for life if you play your cards right.
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4 K0 i' r1 ^; H** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
1 H+ J& P, Z& [$ jfor the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.