Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
3 \! d) d* n" @) yMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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6 [5 }, I- ?+ l! v6 C: n+ V  f8 X6 XJOB DESCRIPTION:
) e! U  V( y2 tLong term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
' {# a# i, G% I1 N* Vand organizational skills and be willing to work
3 Z% m- J4 j' Bvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
4 V6 C6 S9 H( Oand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
# F- S- J4 N& K9 N3 j; ^+ _$ nendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
5 Q/ b% z: b2 R- o3 L( u5 w5 uTravel expenses not reimbursed.
0 ^3 T1 n: `' KExtensive courier duties also required.

! y0 v- R; u' n% \8 F) |' ^% R" vRESPONSIBILITIES:
5 M& s# _: r- @  N2 U- SThe rest of your life.
4 D3 Y+ f- u4 B! o# cMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
6 N) d9 o- I, juntil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
+ e9 j3 q9 F1 \( l9 ~1 iand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
7 W$ B4 T$ ~* |3 g3 |9 ^in case, this time, the screams from
9 G9 J  w, v) j2 _1 Hthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
4 t* R6 ~% \( _such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
0 K* `% ?3 ^; |' O/ F4 r6 L6 Ccoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
$ n" \4 V6 P2 m2 vMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
' ~& z3 J  L1 q' Z) MMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
, a$ w: f1 K8 X  Qjanitorial work  throughout the facility.
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
4 B# n7 z  [7 ]9 C& h7 F) B5 a- Fupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.


- [) z9 |+ d6 C5 z9 R# ?PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
  w& Y' K8 H; g! ~1 kOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
# Q) z, k' r* rGet this! You pay them!
) {8 X/ S" R/ pOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
& ]2 H6 r- t. m& ]  l  z& q; @$ X" ?become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
: ~1 h9 S/ Q$ i& Z" ?9 n/ i3 p4 zWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
8 h; e- h/ x5 Y1 o* A+ Y3 ?no stock options are offered,
" m# l5 q3 u1 p3 ?  u; Othis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
$ m9 B+ W/ s' d5 F& s/ _5 X
unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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3 F) V. o; b/ T- [1 p- ~' G0 Wfor life if you play your cards right.


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6 p; `& N8 W3 j: e** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
  ^/ |: @" D8 z; Vletting them know they are appreciated
; j5 \4 ]/ K" ~! k* G8 R" h6 rfor the fabulous job they do...
1 ~" ?5 c( O1 V. u; ]2 @9 q3 ]or forward with love
4 T$ o+ F5 _2 @3 g& k& D- Bto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.