Crazy English! Zt

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! P8 p- l6 j7 ^( ?Crazy English!
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/ H5 N! O+ Z$ l/ ~; PWe'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes; But the plural of ox became oxen not oxes.
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One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese, Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.
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You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice; Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.

& t8 |6 v; g6 j- s3 hIf the plural of man is always called men, Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?

% v1 g9 u8 X$ c% \3 a7 k; E3 `  b; sIf I spoke of my foot and show you my feet, And I give you a boot, would a pair be a beet?

If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth, Why shouldn't the plural of booths be called beet?
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Then one may be that, and three would be those, Yet hat in the plural would never be hose, and the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
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/ S4 S2 S/ T- w# y: ]We speak of a brother and also of brethren, But though we say mother, we never say methren.
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% G: u3 b# k( J; `Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him, But imagine the feminine, she, shis and shim.

Let's face it, English is a crazy language!
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" }" X4 J' a6 \3 c3 {There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in a hamburger; Neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England.
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; O6 v+ \: G% D6 N: G5 P# I$ YAnd why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, Grocers done groce and hammers don't hamm?
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Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends, but not one amend?

% J. F* x3 {, @If you have a bunch of odds & ends, And get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
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: d8 k* p0 B4 C$ yIf teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?
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If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?
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' C' Y; W+ W' CShip by truck and send cargo by ship?
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9 r; J) N( r3 o. e- r' G  QHave noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your
+ ~( N: l: o9 _# Y6 v5 NHouse burns down; in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on!
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Sometimes, I think all the folks who grew up speaking English Should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane