Crazy English! Zt

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Crazy English!
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We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes; But the plural of ox became oxen not oxes.
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One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese, Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.
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3 u. Q9 p  H. j/ I; u, j7 DYou may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice; Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.

& L; ~3 q& @9 w% JIf the plural of man is always called men, Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?
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If I spoke of my foot and show you my feet, And I give you a boot, would a pair be a beet?

If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth, Why shouldn't the plural of booths be called beet?
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  `$ l* s3 V8 l% ZThen one may be that, and three would be those, Yet hat in the plural would never be hose, and the plural of cat is cats, not cose.

( w/ B% v) ^" j8 y5 wWe speak of a brother and also of brethren, But though we say mother, we never say methren.

( v, C/ U% \+ PThen the masculine pronouns are he, his and him, But imagine the feminine, she, shis and shim.

Let's face it, English is a crazy language!
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' o. s8 u1 \9 dThere is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in a hamburger; Neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, Grocers done groce and hammers don't hamm?
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Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends, but not one amend?
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If you have a bunch of odds & ends, And get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?
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If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
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In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?

# \" B# |# I/ B9 I& yShip by truck and send cargo by ship?
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+ \6 Y: U4 t0 p/ _Have noses that run and feet that smell?

6 W8 X- L, Z- g, }/ D' DHow can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?
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% S/ s9 Q; X, N! `% a" dYou have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your
House burns down; in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on!

: ~! R) ]+ X6 \# h; \2 W3 jSometimes, I think all the folks who grew up speaking English Should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane