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Newfie Joke

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发表于 2008-10-31 10:58 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
A lawyer and a Newfie are sitting next to each other on a
3 u4 W3 y& q, r/ o* |- C6 J" l2 Wlong flight. The lawyer is thinking that newfies are so dumb* T2 K9 c. N, s2 R0 _$ L
that he could get over on them easy...So the lawyer asks if3 H  `! S  g5 Q& }: B
the newfie would like to play a fun game. 1 X, o1 j1 j' |" x2 U
  
# H* ?, M  d, G. l( [  w2 D The newfie is tired and just wants to take a nap, so
# P4 e: X- u  ? he politely declines and tries to catch a few winks. The2 m& K& z& ?) l4 j. z4 ]- @
lawyer persists, and says that the game is a lot of fun. I( _. N/ I1 t: {
ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer,
6 b5 a& M* |, w0 Oyou pay me only $5.   Q, T, a  d! |  @9 {2 S, N( c
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You ask me one, and if I don't know the answer, I
7 q$ ]# N7 q  h! P, R5 N will pay you $500.
4 k* `6 f( a  Y: q5 l6 @2 z7 L' {
5 x2 a' Y. {4 I. h; j This catches the newfie's attention and to keep, R6 n# l# p3 T
the lawyer quiet, he agrees to play the game.
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The lawyer asks the first question. 'What's- X9 ]6 R3 W9 H# Q% L, v# }
the distance from The Earth to the Moon?'
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The newfie doesn't say a word, reaches in his
. B0 p1 D# k' o7 X# `9 h; vpocket pulls out a five-dollar bill, and hands it to the% V4 Q  }% Q6 N' U9 n
lawyer. " t. Y% l  a  A

4 a# l% k7 x* a; v  {Now, it's the newfie's turn.
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He asks the lawyer, 'What goes up a hill with6 P9 p5 `) D0 F7 O
three legs, and comes down with four?'
, `3 l8 [9 h3 o) R
4 h/ g' r9 ?/ v% m, L0 _" zThe lawyer uses his laptop and searches all# E- g0 K5 G' J
references he could find on the Net. He sends e-mails to all
6 q+ P: d0 h. g3 Q: ]' Z" lthe smart friends he knows, all to no avail. After one hour
! d- @$ [+ \- z: G. [2 L% Lof searching he finally gives up. He wakes up the newfie and! o# j4 S5 I; o8 q4 V" `8 R
hands him $500. The newfie pockets the $500 and goes right
9 Y! Z( e2 O' I( h# X) f- lback to sleep. ' z3 |# ^  V/ d" S5 X
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The lawyer is going nuts not knowing the answer. He1 Z# [# G: ^; r2 ?0 L
wakes the newfie up and asks,
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'Well, so what goes up a hill with three legs and5 J) k2 V. t; o5 g, v
comes down with four?'
/ z0 {$ x) u+ x% J- n# A0 J5 j5 O* U; |& I$ G1 J/ N
The newfie reaches in his pocket, hands the lawyer $5
! Q8 ^1 j3 u' {6 _+ M/ Qand goes back to sleep.1 |' S9 |2 S% f! p! ?6 U" _

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鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2008-10-31 13:41 | 显示全部楼层
So funny!- ]1 K! r, n6 P- V) h% P+ D% [

( @$ H/ e) F' g7 e$ }: ~! A) ^Lawyers are not that smart as we suppose, eh?
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发表于 2008-10-31 20:17 | 显示全部楼层
so nice
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发表于 2008-11-2 08:50 | 显示全部楼层

Penis Study

老杨团队 追求完美
>>  Several years ago, Great Britain funded a study to determine why the
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' \0 w; |1 X, l1 J( O/ r$ t>>head of a man's penis is larger than the shaft. The study took two
, V' `6 P" S) u>>years and cost over $180,000. The results concluded that the reason
2 b* H6 l, C7 P4 Y. @>>the head of a man's penis is larger than the shaft is to provide the
: }0 K3 }6 B6 e6 E. E7 p" n  P>>man with more pleasure during sex. After the results were published,
# }2 I8 E% t, f1 R8 r>>the French declared that the British were wrong and decided to conduct* U/ T  ]% Z5 H0 y* Y
+ P$ D* s: g. B& J7 \' r
>>their own study of the same subject.  After three years of research
& G+ u" l# o7 l" x. G>>and a cost in excess of $250,000, they concluded that the head of a
0 s! n% r( O+ g8 h" I# w>>man's penis is larger than the shaft to provide the woman with more
# W. r8 I' L. q) F>>sexual pleasure. When the results of the French study were released,
  j4 f+ `' f' j8 C4 }3 z$ |>>Newfoundland decided  to conduct its own study. So, after nearly three1 C8 V2 X0 |9 x6 Y, h& b' S

/ q$ {# I  x0 f* g6 M% I, H7 p>>weeks of intensive research and a cost of around $75, the Newfie's ' B" C; x. }5 h5 z7 u! m( K2 ?
>>study was complete. They came to the conclusion that the reason the % x, v! H% b& d& W
>>head of a man's penis is larger than the shaft is to prevent his hand 2 t; z4 Q8 _' z% k- R
>>from flying off and hitting him in the forehead
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发表于 2008-11-13 15:32 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2008-11-13 16:33 | 显示全部楼层
Great
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发表于 2008-11-17 21:36 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
newfie是什么意思?小声的问一句。
鲜花(1539) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 07:33 | 显示全部楼层
加拿大人管纽芬兰省(newfoundland)的人叫newfie.
鲜花(1539) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 07:38 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 秋染红叶 于 2008-10-31 10:58 发表
( C  d  B, D0 ^4 j5 |) e: rA lawyer and a Newfie are sitting next to each other on a( Z) f9 K( Q: U( m0 i1 L
long flight. The lawyer is thinking that newfies are so dumb
+ u7 [+ t0 Q+ c1 a1 Wthat he could get over on them easy...So the lawyer asks if
/ n/ v" t4 x/ l# x6 k5 T% F; ?the newfie would l ...

# P& J' F. w1 o: Z$ m1 j6 u: f/ J2 i' l: a# V- p

( ]$ k0 M4 r% B9 ?% l' L9 v% T好像以前听过这个脑筋急转弯问题:
" P/ L6 O. ^  u  W6 h9 Q. j- i; l“什么东西三只脚上山,四只脚下山“,
" _$ I7 _* O6 E: G好像答案是”人“,三只脚上山,是人拄着一根拐杖上山,然后,下山的时候,手脚并用滚下来。
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发表于 2008-11-20 08:56 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
原帖由 眉心眉飞 于 2008-11-20 07:33 发表 $ M  J' |  k( K/ Z2 r
加拿大人管纽芬兰省(newfoundland)的人叫newfie.
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真博学,偶像啊。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 08:56 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 眉心眉飞 于 2008-11-20 07:38 发表 . \: @" z" j" c5 i% f8 ~1 W+ f- f

7 a2 m2 n+ r( g2 p$ l  x
2 F# B9 S" \- f8 S& T9 o4 r: |8 R( c% k  y# f# ?) y5 L
好像以前听过这个脑筋急转弯问题:6 H5 Z6 l# N4 |" X/ _
“什么东西三只脚上山,四只脚下山“,
" a0 P) T/ T% {好像答案是”人“,三只脚上山,是人拄着一根拐杖上山,然后,下山的时候,手脚并用滚下来。
9 ]$ y) p. K) m4 e  d) |3 p; e- J
真聪明,偶像啊
鲜花(1539) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 12:33 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 Irish 于 2008-11-20 08:56 发表
# D$ U" I7 {9 Q; t* n2 X' [; D
( ^" s6 s1 H( M! n真聪明,偶像啊

" @7 M' ?8 @- }: v- l; E6 a4 @3 ?$ r. y: S& X9 b" B0 H
全盘接受一下。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 13:38 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
原帖由 眉心眉飞 于 2008-11-20 12:33 发表 5 K; p/ W, J  F$ s

% I3 _7 a, h+ f) |3 H" W( I/ l
1 }8 R: Z' R- @( \+ T+ O+ y* W全盘接受一下。

+ S1 H; A# q4 j真虚怀若谷,偶像啊
鲜花(1539) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 14:17 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
原帖由 Irish 于 2008-11-20 13:38 发表 / A! @) t! W- n6 \! s  b$ k

$ y* N6 `/ u6 n+ H/ R( z真虚怀若谷,偶像啊

5 S8 l% u2 [, |# N) X. Q( h& X5 `; n

! y# ^1 _/ T: X' ^& x别把我往坏路上领啊。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 14:25 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 眉心眉飞 于 2008-11-20 14:17 发表 / G; a& j3 ^/ N: @& v5 m

- U( m& v) G* S- ~6 ?+ }) t/ l3 l1 d& m" M, v# r
' r! S: L8 o" e- B0 I
别把我往坏路上领啊。
- X/ T5 u2 p9 t, L
你已经在路上了
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发表于 2008-11-20 23:56 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 眉心眉飞 于 2008-11-20 07:33 发表 1 `2 G/ m( F( o+ e2 ^; j+ I" L
加拿大人管纽芬兰省(newfoundland)的人叫newfie.
  i; T1 r9 f; \; b- d/ X
多谢了,我查字典都没有查出来,后来在网上搜,搜出这个意思来,觉得不可信,原来真是这个意思。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 23:57 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
原帖由 Irish 于 2008-11-20 08:56 发表 ' j+ I8 Q4 Q1 L- @
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真博学,偶像啊。

+ R! x. a# c" V: v- J大学教授哦,能不剥削?
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发表于 2008-11-21 11:21 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 蓝色闪蝶 于 2008-11-20 23:57 发表
- }& V7 Q  I% B" X' [( ^
1 t) _7 _9 @1 w8 ~大学教授哦,能不剥削?
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她是大学教瘦?# o( c9 d. V; R' _0 E& f
大学教胖还差不多
0 O, D4 {4 K6 Y) y) G她是NIBBLER(刚学来的,我同事居然说我也是
鲜花(1539) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-21 12:41 | 显示全部楼层
紧张的四下张望,你谁呀?貌似身边被安插了特务了。
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发表于 2008-11-21 13:21 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
原帖由 眉心眉飞 于 2008-11-21 12:41 发表
0 {# ~8 F9 q" ^. B2 Y紧张的四下张望,你谁呀?貌似身边被安插了特务了。

& c5 }$ w7 J+ Z) H& f说话真不动听 ,那叫卧底,无间道。
鲜花(1) 鸡蛋(0)
 楼主| 发表于 2008-11-21 21:21 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 眉心眉飞 于 2008-11-21 12:41 发表
5 G' f2 K& R2 L, O( n7 G9 l紧张的四下张望,你谁呀?貌似身边被安插了特务了。

: ]/ Z3 ^. V& B# E' P7 w- u3 |' G1 h/ j+ d7 k6 i8 z; q  \* D
哈哈,你们在这开小会呢
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