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Newfie Joke

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鲜花(1) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-10-31 10:58 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
A lawyer and a Newfie are sitting next to each other on a
  q6 b2 L( Z7 d# ]% {long flight. The lawyer is thinking that newfies are so dumb
2 {- S  ]0 A3 e1 p" lthat he could get over on them easy...So the lawyer asks if
: n% |8 M0 {6 m1 q/ @, f$ Cthe newfie would like to play a fun game.
$ b. R, Q: F, Y  
; O( _" j  t2 Q' E" Q7 Q The newfie is tired and just wants to take a nap, so1 _  k1 U& q4 ^9 Q  D% Z! F0 b: M2 i/ x
he politely declines and tries to catch a few winks. The
2 Y1 g1 [1 j+ w4 B# O lawyer persists, and says that the game is a lot of fun. I! W' ~% I# N3 Q7 b3 R
ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer,2 L- G1 X& X: T9 A3 h; s" I% d
you pay me only $5.
. y1 ?/ k- |- W6 D; a( E
8 j+ P4 L9 H0 ^# b$ f( o2 H You ask me one, and if I don't know the answer, I
2 {" t1 D( e1 ^ will pay you $500.
0 q8 v' l: }7 m2 q2 Y & U) X& C% i+ ]7 B
This catches the newfie's attention and to keep
% N; {4 r, b: \: \! q( Tthe lawyer quiet, he agrees to play the game.
# r/ V( b# t/ G9 W
8 A7 k4 y6 D( F5 KThe lawyer asks the first question. 'What's
- R& @4 h/ @$ Q7 Q( o1 N& s  ethe distance from The Earth to the Moon?'
% K7 Z. O2 a$ |! Z8 `
8 O  k$ m, E" YThe newfie doesn't say a word, reaches in his
2 g+ a  b) G7 ~3 t0 i) Z$ ?4 Qpocket pulls out a five-dollar bill, and hands it to the5 }/ h! v, I& o% [% o
lawyer.
* L) z% W# K( E5 K( i2 c5 j2 F
: w6 E/ U/ N) K9 WNow, it's the newfie's turn.
3 ?$ g3 u" Z( ~( t" W% U; ?3 R
$ i- P& s  s' cHe asks the lawyer, 'What goes up a hill with
1 P2 M! C+ B+ Q: ]three legs, and comes down with four?'
0 [  Z& A& L6 p6 V' i
3 c( k+ n' R& f, V$ f7 jThe lawyer uses his laptop and searches all
! }8 i# O' S9 z& creferences he could find on the Net. He sends e-mails to all
7 V' w/ Z5 u% a8 |! [  Zthe smart friends he knows, all to no avail. After one hour; Q& U0 @3 i6 J! p3 ^8 {
of searching he finally gives up. He wakes up the newfie and% S" d0 N2 O) \% H! h2 h
hands him $500. The newfie pockets the $500 and goes right
( W2 Y: y8 ?$ k0 G% S; d1 Pback to sleep.
( e5 Y  w0 v) }/ E
/ l! n) |* x  `$ q9 x8 X$ M! `4 gThe lawyer is going nuts not knowing the answer. He
* C4 C; }$ \6 _$ c, M5 Vwakes the newfie up and asks, 3 n& E6 ?: }" F: v% q8 X

2 c$ X2 ~6 T# N, x- ~'Well, so what goes up a hill with three legs and) R- K# m/ \  `# b2 P
comes down with four?'
: g8 J2 d9 o8 X! k1 K) B9 z: l1 l: c& t. h# p$ J% ^
The newfie reaches in his pocket, hands the lawyer $5
0 i5 ~& a7 y& D$ J& ]) n0 Hand goes back to sleep.: K( P7 V4 d! d8 H6 u5 P
" H8 @* D+ `  w% d/ f
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2008-10-31 13:41 | 显示全部楼层
So funny!% d  G* X/ P2 A5 t
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Lawyers are not that smart as we suppose, eh?
鲜花(1) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-10-31 20:17 | 显示全部楼层
so nice
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-2 08:50 | 显示全部楼层

Penis Study

老杨团队 追求完美
>>  Several years ago, Great Britain funded a study to determine why the  Z$ j4 B2 A( g

4 I+ F4 `! j% Y  f" ], G>>head of a man's penis is larger than the shaft. The study took two
/ X$ d6 \5 F+ j5 C6 v. x>>years and cost over $180,000. The results concluded that the reason - Q$ X/ M5 C' n& ]7 G9 R
>>the head of a man's penis is larger than the shaft is to provide the 2 }  @& @% @6 B1 a7 p3 y, R
>>man with more pleasure during sex. After the results were published, 9 n/ t  _9 s. w, D% j9 A' J6 S+ b
>>the French declared that the British were wrong and decided to conduct
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  a5 e. H$ K1 n- A# y' |>>their own study of the same subject.  After three years of research ! O3 z, S( a9 i
>>and a cost in excess of $250,000, they concluded that the head of a
  ~4 _( m8 ?( W5 r* @: E0 c$ J0 H>>man's penis is larger than the shaft to provide the woman with more 0 f: j; W! d, M1 O- \8 M: J: j
>>sexual pleasure. When the results of the French study were released,
# [1 y+ [, C; a, n>>Newfoundland decided  to conduct its own study. So, after nearly three
7 W- {( c$ F7 X, s2 E7 I# f; b- F+ N
>>weeks of intensive research and a cost of around $75, the Newfie's : P: `, x- s/ G  p* Z2 W
>>study was complete. They came to the conclusion that the reason the
; ^! ?9 z' [0 R>>head of a man's penis is larger than the shaft is to prevent his hand ; ]9 y* ^  W& l: t- n
>>from flying off and hitting him in the forehead
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-13 15:32 | 显示全部楼层
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-13 16:33 | 显示全部楼层
Great
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-17 21:36 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
newfie是什么意思?小声的问一句。
鲜花(1539) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 07:33 | 显示全部楼层
加拿大人管纽芬兰省(newfoundland)的人叫newfie.
鲜花(1539) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 07:38 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 秋染红叶 于 2008-10-31 10:58 发表
) Z2 z- U0 {/ P& V# O- u, G  bA lawyer and a Newfie are sitting next to each other on a
7 \/ x2 v. i( C2 J( a+ Z4 Xlong flight. The lawyer is thinking that newfies are so dumb" ^2 T. `4 S4 _3 }
that he could get over on them easy...So the lawyer asks if
8 ]! m9 T9 `) N0 ^) p& `! B" Hthe newfie would l ...
# [0 D8 S1 @+ h5 Y0 W! U: U

# L( C4 X+ t; i  R$ h: a3 P% R* Z
好像以前听过这个脑筋急转弯问题:
" r9 Q* X+ S. U7 I4 B“什么东西三只脚上山,四只脚下山“,
- B' W. V8 e0 Z- X+ Z好像答案是”人“,三只脚上山,是人拄着一根拐杖上山,然后,下山的时候,手脚并用滚下来。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 08:56 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
原帖由 眉心眉飞 于 2008-11-20 07:33 发表 ' |) `2 F9 I& S4 O. o7 E
加拿大人管纽芬兰省(newfoundland)的人叫newfie.
7 J, a1 i/ D) y5 U' ?3 B
真博学,偶像啊。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 08:56 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 眉心眉飞 于 2008-11-20 07:38 发表 . l2 L( Z7 G" a; l- [8 c; h
; n. c; `9 ~1 U$ h4 s6 B

* k4 Z. F/ G5 H* T2 j4 x
( n( O5 B2 E% B好像以前听过这个脑筋急转弯问题:
! O& @3 |& L6 e+ y“什么东西三只脚上山,四只脚下山“,0 G3 I+ z: h( n% {! A
好像答案是”人“,三只脚上山,是人拄着一根拐杖上山,然后,下山的时候,手脚并用滚下来。

3 e+ s% P& x- Z- a0 L0 O) g真聪明,偶像啊
鲜花(1539) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 12:33 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 Irish 于 2008-11-20 08:56 发表 . g  r& U$ ~: u4 D

% j. Q& ?  D5 V) G) U& w6 @真聪明,偶像啊

3 _+ z2 {& k! h8 @# z+ ?* ]2 S' ^8 V& X: c8 \, p9 L
全盘接受一下。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 13:38 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
原帖由 眉心眉飞 于 2008-11-20 12:33 发表 ( W" i! B9 ]6 M5 L
+ x0 j$ {" a/ c0 @

: {  Y9 u( \) J1 o3 R1 J# l% k* G全盘接受一下。
, ]# f8 K& ^- w  Q
真虚怀若谷,偶像啊
鲜花(1539) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 14:17 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
原帖由 Irish 于 2008-11-20 13:38 发表
$ n" y& v+ [2 C. B# |4 F9 ?  V1 w7 q- M4 J# E; D- k
真虚怀若谷,偶像啊
: S) |) z) G$ L9 W# k
3 Z9 I/ a+ o# x2 ?3 o; M

$ B1 z$ d; M, ?/ o别把我往坏路上领啊。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 14:25 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 眉心眉飞 于 2008-11-20 14:17 发表 $ X  ^* Q* g: P: o/ z7 v

9 V) w2 w% b1 g' g- z4 J7 L
! t; ^1 R% }* H* B) Y: ?0 [2 s
& o& K- Q4 o$ c& U* x别把我往坏路上领啊。
# }' g/ r+ i; _" F2 I
你已经在路上了
大型搬家
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 23:56 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 眉心眉飞 于 2008-11-20 07:33 发表 5 S; [5 ~! x) @( w, ?- J# ?1 j
加拿大人管纽芬兰省(newfoundland)的人叫newfie.

/ J- z* }' J; {多谢了,我查字典都没有查出来,后来在网上搜,搜出这个意思来,觉得不可信,原来真是这个意思。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 23:57 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
原帖由 Irish 于 2008-11-20 08:56 发表 + [. A0 n- y- `) p3 e

. o' S* e' e8 U  a' v真博学,偶像啊。
2 _+ V5 i# o) Y$ K; e2 C, @8 z
大学教授哦,能不剥削?
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-21 11:21 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 蓝色闪蝶 于 2008-11-20 23:57 发表 $ @" S* e" c$ T! L& ?1 U4 R

, @" g$ C9 k( ?  n0 n0 I, o大学教授哦,能不剥削?

+ H/ I* M4 c3 H) b5 x! v; V! L她是大学教瘦?
6 V* P; K* j/ A, q+ R6 i大学教胖还差不多 # y, A! @8 e' D% v- y% D7 j% {! z
她是NIBBLER(刚学来的,我同事居然说我也是
鲜花(1539) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-21 12:41 | 显示全部楼层
紧张的四下张望,你谁呀?貌似身边被安插了特务了。
大型搬家
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-21 13:21 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
原帖由 眉心眉飞 于 2008-11-21 12:41 发表
6 L6 r+ e/ C9 Y/ u! r3 e+ ]紧张的四下张望,你谁呀?貌似身边被安插了特务了。

% A5 M! Y( |% U" {- G说话真不动听 ,那叫卧底,无间道。
鲜花(1) 鸡蛋(0)
 楼主| 发表于 2008-11-21 21:21 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 眉心眉飞 于 2008-11-21 12:41 发表 # H. Z9 a4 g0 [- h
紧张的四下张望,你谁呀?貌似身边被安插了特务了。

7 H/ t2 D! k6 n; W9 V! u. Y) k8 B
哈哈,你们在这开小会呢
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