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Newfie Joke

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鲜花(1) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-10-31 10:58 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
A lawyer and a Newfie are sitting next to each other on a1 }9 w1 Y- b5 r$ J0 L
long flight. The lawyer is thinking that newfies are so dumb
+ G2 a  J- H$ L3 e! c6 ]9 c' H8 zthat he could get over on them easy...So the lawyer asks if: v  E8 e' q* Y/ Y7 p
the newfie would like to play a fun game.
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The newfie is tired and just wants to take a nap, so
1 \$ a5 q* U4 u3 ^ he politely declines and tries to catch a few winks. The' k( E3 K( ^3 M, u9 B
lawyer persists, and says that the game is a lot of fun. I- g; j% z- s* H" Z
ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer,! C% d4 o1 w9 y! U# s/ L$ Q8 G1 M
you pay me only $5. 3 S; f6 a, h) i( R5 l" ], D

( ^0 x7 w/ k$ x You ask me one, and if I don't know the answer, I
0 G" ]' v$ x. N) U7 T1 l5 g; K will pay you $500.
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This catches the newfie's attention and to keep/ {. N0 O$ B2 q! \
the lawyer quiet, he agrees to play the game.
2 K" H$ m0 {* H! Z- z0 c; x- P, |
The lawyer asks the first question. 'What's2 y5 S( @3 o/ R7 p5 ]
the distance from The Earth to the Moon?' - O  \  u/ b; q2 c5 p

& m: D& n* D9 }The newfie doesn't say a word, reaches in his; h3 i1 O# g1 s5 O2 N# ~% m
pocket pulls out a five-dollar bill, and hands it to the" x5 P( x2 I% J: T* U3 h  E$ T
lawyer. : p( J* I: I4 f" u/ n

4 O8 l* E0 x" n, T- ], v9 CNow, it's the newfie's turn./ ~2 ]  p4 \% k

" x1 N: F% J; `( fHe asks the lawyer, 'What goes up a hill with
; U1 Q  ^' W$ l: dthree legs, and comes down with four?' # N' L3 G5 n, R

" X% {! u& ^3 ^) |The lawyer uses his laptop and searches all
* V1 u$ S6 J6 r% p; c0 freferences he could find on the Net. He sends e-mails to all
+ I+ J3 i4 F5 @7 g0 M' cthe smart friends he knows, all to no avail. After one hour
- ]# J# `3 \2 c$ uof searching he finally gives up. He wakes up the newfie and
$ ^6 f( |- c5 s5 m+ M0 D5 dhands him $500. The newfie pockets the $500 and goes right
" d% ?# z! T' r- E: x+ Z& D- Aback to sleep.
/ d) L% S. X3 X: I. S3 b
9 c8 D1 e: O7 [* iThe lawyer is going nuts not knowing the answer. He
2 \- l2 h4 B- A+ o+ mwakes the newfie up and asks,
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'Well, so what goes up a hill with three legs and
( F1 N; Z$ @" ]+ n3 r3 }" h' c4 [comes down with four?' # g& b7 ^: Y+ p- _' |1 n- ~
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The newfie reaches in his pocket, hands the lawyer $55 h, s% ]$ u+ @# U0 J& v
and goes back to sleep.) N4 u: L. R/ L" O* A

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鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2008-10-31 13:41 | 显示全部楼层
So funny!
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# n  s4 v+ J) h& h/ m1 vLawyers are not that smart as we suppose, eh?
鲜花(1) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-10-31 20:17 | 显示全部楼层
so nice
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发表于 2008-11-2 08:50 | 显示全部楼层

Penis Study

老杨团队 追求完美
>>  Several years ago, Great Britain funded a study to determine why the- V, Z2 ^* `% w3 B) k

4 k2 k+ }! t$ R" Y/ F" X% O>>head of a man's penis is larger than the shaft. The study took two ( P* d* N# O( M% s  e2 F& c1 D
>>years and cost over $180,000. The results concluded that the reason
' @4 l) ]1 s- d" m1 m1 J>>the head of a man's penis is larger than the shaft is to provide the ! v% F! i4 b: O% I
>>man with more pleasure during sex. After the results were published, & U6 \. r: j3 j# W0 g
>>the French declared that the British were wrong and decided to conduct1 y$ r* c5 J. l" T
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>>their own study of the same subject.  After three years of research : N+ r8 O2 X; |1 _5 `# k2 H4 ~  N, E
>>and a cost in excess of $250,000, they concluded that the head of a 1 C, c7 t4 C& J5 h, r! D+ X; z
>>man's penis is larger than the shaft to provide the woman with more
, u! J, \+ P8 }- L>>sexual pleasure. When the results of the French study were released,
& f( C5 A) @8 [4 [& M$ A>>Newfoundland decided  to conduct its own study. So, after nearly three
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6 I+ G( K- j; v4 w$ O' ]0 I>>weeks of intensive research and a cost of around $75, the Newfie's
% D0 t* Q9 a1 D: w>>study was complete. They came to the conclusion that the reason the
% B- m+ p  L- c; n>>head of a man's penis is larger than the shaft is to prevent his hand + ]' e4 r3 Z; n0 e% N
>>from flying off and hitting him in the forehead
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发表于 2008-11-13 15:32 | 显示全部楼层
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-13 16:33 | 显示全部楼层
Great
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发表于 2008-11-17 21:36 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
newfie是什么意思?小声的问一句。
鲜花(1539) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 07:33 | 显示全部楼层
加拿大人管纽芬兰省(newfoundland)的人叫newfie.
鲜花(1539) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 07:38 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
原帖由 秋染红叶 于 2008-10-31 10:58 发表
" Y: K6 \8 r' ~& w: z5 C% gA lawyer and a Newfie are sitting next to each other on a
7 V) n9 K2 E0 u3 d. Elong flight. The lawyer is thinking that newfies are so dumb
6 U) P3 a) B6 y, [! P! ]that he could get over on them easy...So the lawyer asks if! H+ [. n0 \; Q
the newfie would l ...

9 D$ O5 @7 m6 G
) r1 }* D( c4 z( p  @# M6 Z/ j& ?& e2 n2 H3 W0 e
好像以前听过这个脑筋急转弯问题:
& w  ]. j2 e$ h3 C$ L( D“什么东西三只脚上山,四只脚下山“,( L! S  f" s7 K: l" `; v: P
好像答案是”人“,三只脚上山,是人拄着一根拐杖上山,然后,下山的时候,手脚并用滚下来。
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发表于 2008-11-20 08:56 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
原帖由 眉心眉飞 于 2008-11-20 07:33 发表 8 ~1 T: C( t% b
加拿大人管纽芬兰省(newfoundland)的人叫newfie.
9 J0 m0 h* t, ?
真博学,偶像啊。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 08:56 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 眉心眉飞 于 2008-11-20 07:38 发表 # n* i: S" b* Q; j3 V9 d

5 y4 u! J0 W, s+ }% a: ?& ?9 P
' s/ V* ^) h" x; D+ c, d  m3 c) \' b9 r/ y
好像以前听过这个脑筋急转弯问题:
' E0 p. K1 E1 H; i/ g0 }“什么东西三只脚上山,四只脚下山“,4 M- }6 I9 k; L% w& L- ?  ?
好像答案是”人“,三只脚上山,是人拄着一根拐杖上山,然后,下山的时候,手脚并用滚下来。
3 p) ^" F$ x$ H7 n
真聪明,偶像啊
鲜花(1539) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 12:33 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 Irish 于 2008-11-20 08:56 发表 4 B0 l: O0 }0 W9 ]! l9 b1 B

. q3 `' y8 Y: a4 h1 Z真聪明,偶像啊
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全盘接受一下。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 13:38 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
原帖由 眉心眉飞 于 2008-11-20 12:33 发表 ( W: |9 f% J6 m1 z2 P7 s

; v/ C1 d+ M  u3 T2 w4 t" `0 d5 J% r! U& O9 @* Q
全盘接受一下。

/ y" i6 ^8 _$ y8 t7 J0 M! B) v- l" J! W真虚怀若谷,偶像啊
鲜花(1539) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 14:17 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
原帖由 Irish 于 2008-11-20 13:38 发表
- a) K/ y4 x2 W
; i) `, ~! `. w8 Y5 U真虚怀若谷,偶像啊
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2 N1 \4 r4 Z8 Z, m
: Q$ f* o  v3 x0 A8 U
别把我往坏路上领啊。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 14:25 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 眉心眉飞 于 2008-11-20 14:17 发表
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: Y  q# B5 H8 Q6 C% W( l' x- n" U# V+ [0 ~. W

. M6 v  ]  Z4 a$ s3 S别把我往坏路上领啊。
0 ~6 K0 F: z9 K9 p+ ]) O+ Y
你已经在路上了
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发表于 2008-11-20 23:56 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 眉心眉飞 于 2008-11-20 07:33 发表 8 D( t! D4 J. k
加拿大人管纽芬兰省(newfoundland)的人叫newfie.
2 }7 [2 O6 [+ D/ x1 f
多谢了,我查字典都没有查出来,后来在网上搜,搜出这个意思来,觉得不可信,原来真是这个意思。
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发表于 2008-11-20 23:57 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
原帖由 Irish 于 2008-11-20 08:56 发表 $ X7 c+ U3 l6 ]

! r8 v/ h5 V6 ]( o真博学,偶像啊。
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大学教授哦,能不剥削?
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发表于 2008-11-21 11:21 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 蓝色闪蝶 于 2008-11-20 23:57 发表
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大学教授哦,能不剥削?
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她是大学教瘦?3 n" R/ \! J$ U$ @2 b" Z; K1 V$ z  V! F
大学教胖还差不多 ' v# }# e0 j* D
她是NIBBLER(刚学来的,我同事居然说我也是
鲜花(1539) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-21 12:41 | 显示全部楼层
紧张的四下张望,你谁呀?貌似身边被安插了特务了。
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发表于 2008-11-21 13:21 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
原帖由 眉心眉飞 于 2008-11-21 12:41 发表
5 ^( f' v2 a: F% c, |$ ?# i紧张的四下张望,你谁呀?貌似身边被安插了特务了。

, h2 C( [4 _$ r6 k说话真不动听 ,那叫卧底,无间道。
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-11-21 21:21 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 眉心眉飞 于 2008-11-21 12:41 发表 9 `- l7 l0 `$ p6 i! f: \, H
紧张的四下张望,你谁呀?貌似身边被安插了特务了。
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1 _& |' U: w7 g: g- m1 Q哈哈,你们在这开小会呢
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