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Newfie Joke

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鲜花(1) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-10-31 10:58 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
A lawyer and a Newfie are sitting next to each other on a! a, G; `! ~7 v2 w7 e. D& T
long flight. The lawyer is thinking that newfies are so dumb
* s9 r4 b2 n: t4 `that he could get over on them easy...So the lawyer asks if
! W, {2 z9 `& v% K2 I1 Nthe newfie would like to play a fun game.
/ Y: }9 ^! e, N  
0 X7 x5 D1 V! C5 Q6 m' Y The newfie is tired and just wants to take a nap, so% {; o# R: r+ q# d
he politely declines and tries to catch a few winks. The
5 R& ]+ ?, G% m7 i5 v2 K2 S  E lawyer persists, and says that the game is a lot of fun. I4 ^% m3 S' V. C5 g
ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer,( z; t, D: e/ z0 Z
you pay me only $5.
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You ask me one, and if I don't know the answer, I
. ~7 c& B/ M! ?1 p' [. p; r% F9 J will pay you $500. 6 G6 g! t' O2 z$ F1 C
8 V' [9 ^' U. r+ `# F
This catches the newfie's attention and to keep
% R4 T" k4 B- f' K  i6 _* y3 N: xthe lawyer quiet, he agrees to play the game. 1 Y2 @7 r' p% M4 q5 A: g
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The lawyer asks the first question. 'What's( f' @6 o9 P  z/ U3 ]/ F7 V. J1 D
the distance from The Earth to the Moon?' 9 F) A  K$ N/ F1 h; B- |: n) \0 J
6 W, V' B2 j: L4 x$ f0 }0 m3 f" U
The newfie doesn't say a word, reaches in his
) d7 H3 q2 g3 E- s* L, ]- \" Rpocket pulls out a five-dollar bill, and hands it to the$ O8 p+ G, g) o+ A6 i. E! @
lawyer. ( j6 ]; Z  g8 S1 H! H& N4 c; z
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Now, it's the newfie's turn.0 i3 y: h3 n7 x

$ q8 a: R! `$ V0 {; NHe asks the lawyer, 'What goes up a hill with
& I, {9 P7 m4 Q  b+ j9 rthree legs, and comes down with four?' 1 O/ o6 Y6 @2 N5 V8 @  S8 A' b
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The lawyer uses his laptop and searches all& Q) `- t+ p" I+ n; j$ o
references he could find on the Net. He sends e-mails to all0 e! _+ W% }- M2 m" W3 G( [
the smart friends he knows, all to no avail. After one hour: L5 r1 B" n3 _  L; }! Z
of searching he finally gives up. He wakes up the newfie and* v* b3 T* y+ c- A  V  Q
hands him $500. The newfie pockets the $500 and goes right
  Q6 j4 a# R; f. \! E. z4 Bback to sleep.
# K5 X: l% J  Z6 E% `9 m7 C4 B+ T
7 Q3 Y; ]2 k. }3 p: t2 o! \The lawyer is going nuts not knowing the answer. He
' l7 n4 J+ f  M, I( X" `1 Zwakes the newfie up and asks,
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'Well, so what goes up a hill with three legs and7 C2 m" n5 _9 m, o; F! W) z9 ]
comes down with four?'
: T0 r& _& C, ?$ \7 \6 _
/ G- x7 k+ c# m+ h6 R8 FThe newfie reaches in his pocket, hands the lawyer $5( `- d) @8 v: c
and goes back to sleep." a( P9 p2 z/ ~2 h6 L$ y
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鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2008-10-31 13:41 | 显示全部楼层
So funny!
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) g. P/ L$ P( B4 n9 O: lLawyers are not that smart as we suppose, eh?
鲜花(1) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-10-31 20:17 | 显示全部楼层
so nice
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发表于 2008-11-2 08:50 | 显示全部楼层

Penis Study

老杨团队 追求完美
>>  Several years ago, Great Britain funded a study to determine why the
: [" Z/ q3 G2 W
3 i- f/ @. v$ T- y4 K>>head of a man's penis is larger than the shaft. The study took two
- T3 n* N- V/ o' {>>years and cost over $180,000. The results concluded that the reason
0 V- Z4 v/ y; }3 V>>the head of a man's penis is larger than the shaft is to provide the 5 S+ S! [. `2 ?; ^  ?, D4 X5 j' Y$ j
>>man with more pleasure during sex. After the results were published, ' D' E1 Z- G( n
>>the French declared that the British were wrong and decided to conduct
% e) Q; m6 W! U2 Q. H
& f, f1 A9 ?8 N5 @. L. g>>their own study of the same subject.  After three years of research
8 B* ^: y& f4 c+ j1 E- ?: m6 k, s>>and a cost in excess of $250,000, they concluded that the head of a
6 C) Y) z7 q, B7 e) I>>man's penis is larger than the shaft to provide the woman with more
5 {& h- D8 s8 x( H% f5 Q>>sexual pleasure. When the results of the French study were released, % m. G+ |3 o( k% c6 U! G8 r
>>Newfoundland decided  to conduct its own study. So, after nearly three
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5 c+ U% B- Z3 w1 W' f' r- w>>weeks of intensive research and a cost of around $75, the Newfie's . u. B$ }/ x4 a; \
>>study was complete. They came to the conclusion that the reason the
, S/ j' A9 G4 y% I- V>>head of a man's penis is larger than the shaft is to prevent his hand - Q5 O3 J- X9 t: W+ p* L
>>from flying off and hitting him in the forehead
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发表于 2008-11-13 15:32 | 显示全部楼层
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-13 16:33 | 显示全部楼层
Great
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-17 21:36 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
newfie是什么意思?小声的问一句。
鲜花(1539) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 07:33 | 显示全部楼层
加拿大人管纽芬兰省(newfoundland)的人叫newfie.
鲜花(1539) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 07:38 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
原帖由 秋染红叶 于 2008-10-31 10:58 发表
  }, J0 y: O) \  w2 E) i8 NA lawyer and a Newfie are sitting next to each other on a; e8 T0 Q$ T# A/ P, K
long flight. The lawyer is thinking that newfies are so dumb
5 x& [# h( {" N8 n) a" v) X/ |that he could get over on them easy...So the lawyer asks if# t: a4 ^3 l, A3 a7 {: v) q: k7 E
the newfie would l ...

2 }9 r5 `( \1 H2 h; f: @  i6 P# w4 U

/ {' S( a' e/ n9 m. `) [( ~: ^好像以前听过这个脑筋急转弯问题:
  U: ?0 Z6 X7 \0 |“什么东西三只脚上山,四只脚下山“,
* `5 D( r$ D# ^/ d好像答案是”人“,三只脚上山,是人拄着一根拐杖上山,然后,下山的时候,手脚并用滚下来。
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发表于 2008-11-20 08:56 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
原帖由 眉心眉飞 于 2008-11-20 07:33 发表 4 L$ a7 V; O* b4 m+ Y! Q
加拿大人管纽芬兰省(newfoundland)的人叫newfie.

' U; {* ?9 b) c& o. V5 k7 t真博学,偶像啊。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 08:56 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 眉心眉飞 于 2008-11-20 07:38 发表
" X5 w/ g2 ]1 E
. Q4 n; M, G7 f+ k; y6 ^/ G+ B, E

' G$ o0 k* ?9 F" ]3 o' b好像以前听过这个脑筋急转弯问题:
' Z: {0 G7 U' P, z0 D“什么东西三只脚上山,四只脚下山“,
3 g3 l% E5 Q( ^( g. n- u好像答案是”人“,三只脚上山,是人拄着一根拐杖上山,然后,下山的时候,手脚并用滚下来。

, R! a+ m/ o. `+ t: e( s" q3 Q真聪明,偶像啊
鲜花(1539) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 12:33 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 Irish 于 2008-11-20 08:56 发表 0 x- l7 E; W4 ~7 B: g$ s

) `5 m+ z0 }8 a) U真聪明,偶像啊
* u, K0 ]; }0 I6 @9 C1 u

2 \1 x6 ~; p* `! x6 v! u! |全盘接受一下。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 13:38 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
原帖由 眉心眉飞 于 2008-11-20 12:33 发表 5 Z. O  S: S* J$ _& K
% T3 C" A( N& P& y6 O( P4 T4 m

4 |. Y4 W/ ?: A- N( ]全盘接受一下。
0 ]; m) A( a% P1 l& u) f! Z
真虚怀若谷,偶像啊
鲜花(1539) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 14:17 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
原帖由 Irish 于 2008-11-20 13:38 发表
: v' k' ^+ c* u1 M, J7 d9 D0 C$ W6 A  ^6 G
真虚怀若谷,偶像啊
, g/ e2 y/ s  Q: l9 V- J, J% S3 F$ m

: K6 w! T0 J, E' }, J9 V' |. l! y, L) V& p5 V/ M
别把我往坏路上领啊。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 14:25 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 眉心眉飞 于 2008-11-20 14:17 发表
1 N' }- @' a/ H/ g1 m2 K$ q3 h" g4 J* H  \2 C6 B0 v1 X( C

- Y9 D2 z) m* U* F' W5 g1 H: O* h/ C$ }5 y" E
别把我往坏路上领啊。
' ^. e! M* K& ^! m$ A  p
你已经在路上了
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发表于 2008-11-20 23:56 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 眉心眉飞 于 2008-11-20 07:33 发表
7 J3 ~# t( A3 a; z1 J; F; n- c加拿大人管纽芬兰省(newfoundland)的人叫newfie.
7 ?$ Z9 `/ P. ]: I5 g! ?5 ]
多谢了,我查字典都没有查出来,后来在网上搜,搜出这个意思来,觉得不可信,原来真是这个意思。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 23:57 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
原帖由 Irish 于 2008-11-20 08:56 发表
$ I- }3 _" U( ^
# l) X. R' N' B% i真博学,偶像啊。

% z$ ?- n, [& m4 U2 T: @  X3 q: k大学教授哦,能不剥削?
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-21 11:21 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 蓝色闪蝶 于 2008-11-20 23:57 发表 + W# _: F4 k4 [" }- O4 c+ J
  m' y& q& M3 {4 @' V
大学教授哦,能不剥削?

+ Q! O* p( Q8 D9 l& Q3 q, B她是大学教瘦?
$ S6 y- i9 r. J0 x/ t% |3 o* }大学教胖还差不多
/ b( b+ p( M: B她是NIBBLER(刚学来的,我同事居然说我也是
大型搬家
鲜花(1539) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-21 12:41 | 显示全部楼层
紧张的四下张望,你谁呀?貌似身边被安插了特务了。
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发表于 2008-11-21 13:21 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
原帖由 眉心眉飞 于 2008-11-21 12:41 发表
/ u' R" x' C  b5 k6 ~" f紧张的四下张望,你谁呀?貌似身边被安插了特务了。

5 |" F3 L) o4 r说话真不动听 ,那叫卧底,无间道。
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-11-21 21:21 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 眉心眉飞 于 2008-11-21 12:41 发表
; k' ?+ v7 @# Y3 ?) D- B, {: u2 V紧张的四下张望,你谁呀?貌似身边被安插了特务了。

8 x2 J0 p$ f% |
% ^; A. d& J$ x* J, M- V* w7 I哈哈,你们在这开小会呢
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