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Newfie Joke

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发表于 2008-10-31 10:58 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
A lawyer and a Newfie are sitting next to each other on a
+ _2 ?" x% c+ Z# [; _! b0 ilong flight. The lawyer is thinking that newfies are so dumb
; N* Z, _. R7 e0 }that he could get over on them easy...So the lawyer asks if* z: F, Q6 N/ ^6 M; Z# P  p
the newfie would like to play a fun game. / p% z6 R( h6 j4 A
  
: Y) c! Y5 f" K; H The newfie is tired and just wants to take a nap, so
4 Z- y" O' o8 Y, c he politely declines and tries to catch a few winks. The
  E, J6 D' @  T. Z6 c lawyer persists, and says that the game is a lot of fun. I5 b: N8 ]% S% Q  o1 }
ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer,
( K% u- j! v) E3 h" m  Pyou pay me only $5.
8 f: V' `9 ^6 t1 q# f: X5 T+ J, l
: y3 L: I/ e' o; h1 V You ask me one, and if I don't know the answer, I
# F% A: J. ~+ A- j# X: O- d will pay you $500.
$ C- `6 i) ]3 N( L( I5 D
, j; l8 X; O$ m$ ?( h This catches the newfie's attention and to keep1 k7 j/ P$ X8 S- e: y* l4 F
the lawyer quiet, he agrees to play the game. ; k* T9 b% A% P  `: q/ ]) G8 V, `0 k
  k+ d. I) k3 U& Z7 k  q
The lawyer asks the first question. 'What's
* W  H, R, b" s+ vthe distance from The Earth to the Moon?' & V1 H7 B7 h6 h; k# _
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The newfie doesn't say a word, reaches in his
1 a; ^" e8 R1 t- epocket pulls out a five-dollar bill, and hands it to the
) ?6 d6 [: t2 |+ \lawyer.
8 I) `6 n" a. U( }" r3 A/ U9 q: C4 T# x; m  m3 H' b
Now, it's the newfie's turn.- N5 A' _1 }  B& i7 l/ i! I

6 n+ g' V- n! N5 K$ c/ e" nHe asks the lawyer, 'What goes up a hill with5 l2 H+ R# k  k1 a
three legs, and comes down with four?'
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( m, W4 \3 e/ ^1 ~# |, \8 SThe lawyer uses his laptop and searches all5 j8 K5 ^. s, K9 b7 t) ~! P
references he could find on the Net. He sends e-mails to all+ G' V# c' Z( i
the smart friends he knows, all to no avail. After one hour
4 ?6 a9 A+ S% ^7 O$ _, mof searching he finally gives up. He wakes up the newfie and
1 H( g$ B: m  j' U- ?% Z5 G6 Lhands him $500. The newfie pockets the $500 and goes right7 }( z- C& m. E! c4 [# k4 v4 T
back to sleep.
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$ ?: S  j) Z) \+ S0 U; ]The lawyer is going nuts not knowing the answer. He+ x* K8 `: G, s! a
wakes the newfie up and asks,
" D7 |" e( X/ v' p; [# w5 T, P# G
9 ]' U1 V8 w" `& R+ g& V. ~0 }% P'Well, so what goes up a hill with three legs and, w# D) ]0 O& I7 u
comes down with four?' 2 V& O5 u; V8 B5 c3 v- G3 @0 K
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The newfie reaches in his pocket, hands the lawyer $5
% e! h6 j' X! s$ Y1 I4 band goes back to sleep.
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鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2008-10-31 13:41 | 显示全部楼层
So funny!9 |* n- Z5 N6 R
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Lawyers are not that smart as we suppose, eh?
鲜花(1) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-10-31 20:17 | 显示全部楼层
so nice
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发表于 2008-11-2 08:50 | 显示全部楼层

Penis Study

老杨团队 追求完美
>>  Several years ago, Great Britain funded a study to determine why the
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7 Z& w+ f6 d  m) a>>head of a man's penis is larger than the shaft. The study took two ! {/ _8 V' B3 T( J( P- q2 E. Y* m
>>years and cost over $180,000. The results concluded that the reason
# O7 n! g0 R/ r6 q0 }# U; O>>the head of a man's penis is larger than the shaft is to provide the
/ ~9 m4 t) w+ |% S& P>>man with more pleasure during sex. After the results were published, ! c$ g2 c8 A4 X- }; H
>>the French declared that the British were wrong and decided to conduct( u; T& |3 u+ D6 _, n. W- J

9 d( b6 ?2 l" q+ R9 P8 V>>their own study of the same subject.  After three years of research
2 t% r# |( c% i' u1 F/ h>>and a cost in excess of $250,000, they concluded that the head of a
3 v( z7 e, L5 d2 J>>man's penis is larger than the shaft to provide the woman with more 0 {6 L0 z$ V" ~( a: k
>>sexual pleasure. When the results of the French study were released, ( L; X/ D( |& H1 T' m) Z
>>Newfoundland decided  to conduct its own study. So, after nearly three! {6 `5 U/ }. f) ?! |

: \( b, O% T# E+ n4 ]* a! T0 l$ l2 R>>weeks of intensive research and a cost of around $75, the Newfie's
' s1 Z) Z! D  Y3 f( x5 s8 I( r5 h>>study was complete. They came to the conclusion that the reason the
' o: W( n$ O: t9 t! |>>head of a man's penis is larger than the shaft is to prevent his hand
! C1 h' k( w( ^, N7 \. t>>from flying off and hitting him in the forehead
大型搬家
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-13 15:32 | 显示全部楼层
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-13 16:33 | 显示全部楼层
Great
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-17 21:36 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
newfie是什么意思?小声的问一句。
鲜花(1539) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 07:33 | 显示全部楼层
加拿大人管纽芬兰省(newfoundland)的人叫newfie.
鲜花(1539) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 07:38 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
原帖由 秋染红叶 于 2008-10-31 10:58 发表
3 P" H/ Y& D. y1 NA lawyer and a Newfie are sitting next to each other on a
5 G6 V) _1 _# z# E; E, E6 B) Vlong flight. The lawyer is thinking that newfies are so dumb" A( E1 {- c; k; O1 `8 ]+ W& s
that he could get over on them easy...So the lawyer asks if
7 }9 B$ v# x" A4 @* m7 J( B# cthe newfie would l ...

; u% X, f8 E% O; L2 K
: ^  z( f% t0 g& ~5 V7 c7 P# A' L2 z
好像以前听过这个脑筋急转弯问题:
; [4 W6 ^9 x: K! W8 u2 C# j“什么东西三只脚上山,四只脚下山“,
! P1 V$ z" S. h/ M! X好像答案是”人“,三只脚上山,是人拄着一根拐杖上山,然后,下山的时候,手脚并用滚下来。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 08:56 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
原帖由 眉心眉飞 于 2008-11-20 07:33 发表 * R( f+ h/ E$ d# E# j
加拿大人管纽芬兰省(newfoundland)的人叫newfie.
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真博学,偶像啊。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 08:56 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 眉心眉飞 于 2008-11-20 07:38 发表
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# S) \1 ~# c% c; c2 q/ G( G
- B. D0 w7 I+ {, S, a4 b
好像以前听过这个脑筋急转弯问题:
; t" e/ Q* \: l% T“什么东西三只脚上山,四只脚下山“,
5 d7 l4 r9 W1 j0 \% c2 f好像答案是”人“,三只脚上山,是人拄着一根拐杖上山,然后,下山的时候,手脚并用滚下来。
2 o* y- [- a3 `+ B
真聪明,偶像啊
鲜花(1539) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 12:33 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 Irish 于 2008-11-20 08:56 发表 ' Y/ }- v4 u, I1 a. G, I% o

( J& U$ J, o, F/ d- o7 C5 s3 g真聪明,偶像啊
; t4 w# c) G( ^9 y" L& ?

% K, w. Q8 a3 W- L2 L% ~4 L全盘接受一下。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 13:38 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
原帖由 眉心眉飞 于 2008-11-20 12:33 发表 % E, w0 g9 r# `5 W7 ~7 e

* j/ {: k4 V5 b  c1 P* [! i+ ^- ?6 J, e5 |3 j: _: |8 W5 [
全盘接受一下。

9 y" o2 _2 J0 i- Z2 w3 Z真虚怀若谷,偶像啊
鲜花(1539) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 14:17 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
原帖由 Irish 于 2008-11-20 13:38 发表 ) G0 s, f9 w% R& O) N/ I% o

/ X! @& U: _1 l1 E5 n真虚怀若谷,偶像啊

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别把我往坏路上领啊。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 14:25 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 眉心眉飞 于 2008-11-20 14:17 发表
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别把我往坏路上领啊。

  g3 c: U- @- `% j9 [$ k! B你已经在路上了
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 23:56 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 眉心眉飞 于 2008-11-20 07:33 发表
) }0 @9 M. t1 e. d9 ~0 F/ x加拿大人管纽芬兰省(newfoundland)的人叫newfie.
7 F" }4 b; M( F. I
多谢了,我查字典都没有查出来,后来在网上搜,搜出这个意思来,觉得不可信,原来真是这个意思。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 23:57 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
原帖由 Irish 于 2008-11-20 08:56 发表 ! J0 I3 _+ W# o( d: `
0 O2 h) m& W5 ~. z$ d" I
真博学,偶像啊。

: G% b+ Z) u- p# f& L! s% J) F大学教授哦,能不剥削?
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-21 11:21 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 蓝色闪蝶 于 2008-11-20 23:57 发表
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大学教授哦,能不剥削?
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她是大学教瘦?
' v( g; e: `5 I0 X# d7 I* S大学教胖还差不多
/ F3 P- P" e0 `6 r- q她是NIBBLER(刚学来的,我同事居然说我也是
鲜花(1539) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-21 12:41 | 显示全部楼层
紧张的四下张望,你谁呀?貌似身边被安插了特务了。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-21 13:21 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
原帖由 眉心眉飞 于 2008-11-21 12:41 发表 ' s* e& U' u6 F2 G+ U& Q( X
紧张的四下张望,你谁呀?貌似身边被安插了特务了。

' u6 h$ d# F; s% P, ?! D2 e+ M$ p说话真不动听 ,那叫卧底,无间道。
鲜花(1) 鸡蛋(0)
 楼主| 发表于 2008-11-21 21:21 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 眉心眉飞 于 2008-11-21 12:41 发表 1 w( z+ w: s; ~
紧张的四下张望,你谁呀?貌似身边被安插了特务了。
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哈哈,你们在这开小会呢
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