埃德蒙顿华人社区-Edmonton China

 找回密码
 注册
查看: 5504|回复: 20

Newfie Joke

[复制链接]
鲜花(1) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-10-31 10:58 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
A lawyer and a Newfie are sitting next to each other on a2 x  |: |2 I! F+ ^% A
long flight. The lawyer is thinking that newfies are so dumb
5 f3 Z  e$ G* I8 W+ Z9 ?that he could get over on them easy...So the lawyer asks if0 u6 n/ F: K3 v0 U' p" r
the newfie would like to play a fun game.
- Y4 E; j9 X; L7 }# S  , i$ H8 ?8 y* ^
The newfie is tired and just wants to take a nap, so8 m0 J' z9 W2 o" M6 Q" Z! Z
he politely declines and tries to catch a few winks. The
. H! O: ^. B0 {7 } lawyer persists, and says that the game is a lot of fun. I( |3 ~' O& j% ~( x; K
ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer,' S) l7 }# U+ m
you pay me only $5. 6 r9 o! \' i, ^: s& x

0 ^2 a; @* {! _, ]( H You ask me one, and if I don't know the answer, I
( y- S1 V- t$ S  b+ [% Q: b will pay you $500. % {7 D- J0 k" Q( w. r
$ `. S, q, V$ ^/ r9 z
This catches the newfie's attention and to keep
- p# ^" J2 n$ g; Lthe lawyer quiet, he agrees to play the game.
3 R' A* M. a+ ?0 `$ M  |7 K
- B9 W5 y' N$ A. _' r* r- {- k5 GThe lawyer asks the first question. 'What's
) X' l$ U! _6 r1 s8 Hthe distance from The Earth to the Moon?'
# M8 I, I( c6 T* x* Z5 F. @* Z( M& C
The newfie doesn't say a word, reaches in his
3 ^9 y  `1 S4 X# i3 dpocket pulls out a five-dollar bill, and hands it to the+ J- b. H1 S" B( M/ Q9 P% `8 E- \; x
lawyer. 9 k9 g: [+ g% b# a. d
$ }7 @; W" s7 L8 ^
Now, it's the newfie's turn.: n' n  e: F7 t9 O( ^3 U
, A! ~. c3 r; b# h. j6 |/ T" k! T
He asks the lawyer, 'What goes up a hill with2 U8 Y8 h# j; b
three legs, and comes down with four?'
9 m# q+ U3 a% G
. T( x4 @5 _* H. k4 h' I: Q+ `The lawyer uses his laptop and searches all
+ W: J; K6 r3 `! T5 s0 treferences he could find on the Net. He sends e-mails to all: e5 n$ s4 h! `
the smart friends he knows, all to no avail. After one hour4 F8 |, O  w- j+ t, k; r
of searching he finally gives up. He wakes up the newfie and
7 J$ b3 H, e6 z8 ehands him $500. The newfie pockets the $500 and goes right" {6 r# H5 }7 C8 w
back to sleep.
5 k2 @# U* }; m: U2 }: ^7 y4 h% ^! {
; m. s& |2 K) K5 DThe lawyer is going nuts not knowing the answer. He
- Y9 V' }6 {/ l& k" v6 L: z" R, Hwakes the newfie up and asks,
, P# K$ m3 {1 g" G. p5 m0 }, N
5 j" j+ s% {5 B. q'Well, so what goes up a hill with three legs and- L; n* z  g; E1 h; M1 p) Z
comes down with four?'
/ S% e. a+ L- @8 w; |/ s4 V% A: p
The newfie reaches in his pocket, hands the lawyer $5
6 a9 }2 J0 n2 j- Mand goes back to sleep.
: {9 P; b! W3 G$ Y" W1 W$ b" {" p! J& a8 a8 R
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2008-10-31 13:41 | 显示全部楼层
So funny!: c. Z- C. C0 N+ W3 O
# b5 D/ ^- P& X/ b7 k! z  L5 j1 H3 M
Lawyers are not that smart as we suppose, eh?
鲜花(1) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-10-31 20:17 | 显示全部楼层
so nice
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-2 08:50 | 显示全部楼层

Penis Study

老杨团队 追求完美
>>  Several years ago, Great Britain funded a study to determine why the
, n8 c8 o- e' R8 }+ h  _
$ j0 u7 W( f* ~$ y: ]- d7 h" z, D>>head of a man's penis is larger than the shaft. The study took two % |. W  l3 ~4 b2 Q8 l
>>years and cost over $180,000. The results concluded that the reason
& `2 `6 w2 M7 e/ q9 Q>>the head of a man's penis is larger than the shaft is to provide the   `0 g' b$ @! j, w# j
>>man with more pleasure during sex. After the results were published, 1 a1 `2 a6 A+ \# r8 N7 F
>>the French declared that the British were wrong and decided to conduct, K* b* x! a1 L% l1 T: E
$ o9 K1 k2 F* F+ Q, j- Q
>>their own study of the same subject.  After three years of research # o, j% J4 E# B) _, j+ ?  A
>>and a cost in excess of $250,000, they concluded that the head of a
' t, G) U2 N( Z7 _+ c>>man's penis is larger than the shaft to provide the woman with more 1 {* m. L2 \/ ~2 b7 K+ W8 ~0 T9 \
>>sexual pleasure. When the results of the French study were released,
$ x% C+ c/ V6 g' y0 R% L' ]>>Newfoundland decided  to conduct its own study. So, after nearly three
/ t3 H* g, I6 o# X& B1 M) |$ Z
+ o. }! d4 f% Q4 h>>weeks of intensive research and a cost of around $75, the Newfie's
: S7 a7 T0 n3 l5 y>>study was complete. They came to the conclusion that the reason the
  j' F# j% J. M>>head of a man's penis is larger than the shaft is to prevent his hand 1 p9 K. I( P) S' q. a
>>from flying off and hitting him in the forehead
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-13 15:32 | 显示全部楼层
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-13 16:33 | 显示全部楼层
Great
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-17 21:36 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
newfie是什么意思?小声的问一句。
鲜花(1539) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 07:33 | 显示全部楼层
加拿大人管纽芬兰省(newfoundland)的人叫newfie.
理袁律师事务所
鲜花(1539) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 07:38 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
原帖由 秋染红叶 于 2008-10-31 10:58 发表 7 a) M: w8 S" `
A lawyer and a Newfie are sitting next to each other on a
/ K) @3 h2 ~" u' w$ \2 v) C' mlong flight. The lawyer is thinking that newfies are so dumb
9 v( M5 a5 u% e; Othat he could get over on them easy...So the lawyer asks if: d# m+ Z9 G' F3 F
the newfie would l ...

" q$ Z# G! Y! n# A8 }
3 A7 E1 w& j" ^7 g
6 L  z. d6 y0 {- [" D好像以前听过这个脑筋急转弯问题:
/ |0 d0 r9 }' Q+ f“什么东西三只脚上山,四只脚下山“,7 }9 a( ~3 M' S
好像答案是”人“,三只脚上山,是人拄着一根拐杖上山,然后,下山的时候,手脚并用滚下来。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 08:56 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
原帖由 眉心眉飞 于 2008-11-20 07:33 发表
. P8 j5 ~4 ^' W+ L! y加拿大人管纽芬兰省(newfoundland)的人叫newfie.
/ H9 O/ t3 I, m' v( p/ j+ \
真博学,偶像啊。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 08:56 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 眉心眉飞 于 2008-11-20 07:38 发表 % p  i) n" d; m5 G' K/ F

) o; J5 J# b" B4 S2 z8 Z$ X
* j3 B. [9 t1 E+ A# g2 [% j% E; P
% w9 Z( R4 W9 L好像以前听过这个脑筋急转弯问题:
4 Q* C2 _3 A6 c“什么东西三只脚上山,四只脚下山“,
, z! Q2 }) p, C; _5 ^7 J, s好像答案是”人“,三只脚上山,是人拄着一根拐杖上山,然后,下山的时候,手脚并用滚下来。

& p+ t7 H! w* @) F真聪明,偶像啊
鲜花(1539) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 12:33 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 Irish 于 2008-11-20 08:56 发表 4 X9 G& z$ B8 q
" {: e: o+ s9 w! r, k* y0 [/ K
真聪明,偶像啊

! `; ^  K% Q9 a; ?2 H8 v% m4 N  X* a* D
全盘接受一下。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 13:38 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
原帖由 眉心眉飞 于 2008-11-20 12:33 发表 ( N* s5 k; a" M% r. d& R, `
+ S2 C. M8 q; Q1 f% d& }' q
9 o# i- \( i2 @
全盘接受一下。

" \3 }3 n  w& L5 P真虚怀若谷,偶像啊
鲜花(1539) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 14:17 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
原帖由 Irish 于 2008-11-20 13:38 发表
& o, J. p" N6 g  g3 q/ W, M9 T1 B5 L, |4 i8 t, l; ^) G) k* Z: R$ @* E
真虚怀若谷,偶像啊

, u* z' X* Q5 B
3 ~  M/ q3 O* A) [6 r" m6 _! I6 R" @# p5 t' b* D6 P4 R. X
别把我往坏路上领啊。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 14:25 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 眉心眉飞 于 2008-11-20 14:17 发表 - {1 z( m7 \/ }/ ^
, S7 i( z6 W& c# e+ \6 c: g
+ j9 f$ _! u% @" V

7 H( Z. A3 y. ]5 D! d别把我往坏路上领啊。
! Y0 f: t8 u; A
你已经在路上了
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 23:56 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 眉心眉飞 于 2008-11-20 07:33 发表 7 r$ z( U. ?$ U0 }: I
加拿大人管纽芬兰省(newfoundland)的人叫newfie.

/ U5 F  Y. o/ v' q6 x  @多谢了,我查字典都没有查出来,后来在网上搜,搜出这个意思来,觉得不可信,原来真是这个意思。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 23:57 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
原帖由 Irish 于 2008-11-20 08:56 发表
2 a" S% g$ c& }. @2 f6 ^
1 X. q, Q" I) E# S1 E真博学,偶像啊。

3 R, I  c: {: v( O' W+ i5 b: C: ~' X大学教授哦,能不剥削?
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-21 11:21 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 蓝色闪蝶 于 2008-11-20 23:57 发表
& y# B5 R6 _  b* g, z4 Q! {+ `& K- B. v: X% d- n; G, f
大学教授哦,能不剥削?
( w5 L4 W+ J6 A. Q5 M+ m7 S* r( Z
她是大学教瘦?
3 R( s' M8 l7 q$ ]0 Y) ~大学教胖还差不多
/ o* a/ e7 w' P2 J. p她是NIBBLER(刚学来的,我同事居然说我也是
鲜花(1539) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-21 12:41 | 显示全部楼层
紧张的四下张望,你谁呀?貌似身边被安插了特务了。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-21 13:21 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
原帖由 眉心眉飞 于 2008-11-21 12:41 发表 2 p1 p- d0 K; U1 E  `0 ]
紧张的四下张望,你谁呀?貌似身边被安插了特务了。
: j: i" a/ Q/ v! j
说话真不动听 ,那叫卧底,无间道。
鲜花(1) 鸡蛋(0)
 楼主| 发表于 2008-11-21 21:21 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 眉心眉飞 于 2008-11-21 12:41 发表
2 d+ f5 N( H5 d8 |8 Y紧张的四下张望,你谁呀?貌似身边被安插了特务了。
" K- `# v5 J6 {' `/ t: G: ~' s
  I  ?5 {- U2 ]' m+ S
哈哈,你们在这开小会呢
大型搬家
您需要登录后才可以回帖 登录 | 注册

本版积分规则

联系我们|小黑屋|手机版|Archiver|埃德蒙顿中文网

GMT-7, 2026-6-5 23:46 , Processed in 0.183727 second(s), 27 queries , Gzip On, APC On.

Powered by Discuz! X3.4

Copyright © 2001-2021, Tencent Cloud.

快速回复 返回顶部 返回列表