Never Say to a Cop:

OliveOil

NEVER SAY TO A COP:
% ?1 h$ p' j8 H7 N; X1 z
1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer. (OK in Texas)
4 V' X/ O4 i* I2 h1 ]
2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
' k! n/ \) ~  b4 @. k2 p$ W
% W. w% ?+ ^! M: X4 ]( \2 n% m! V! n3. Aren't you the guy from the Village People?

+ Q  S' M7 m6 M" C2 k% {! l4. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!
( `' i+ F& R* H! K6 D
- D6 ]! ~6 T' h" J2 L: N5. Are You Andy or Barney?

) Y$ w1 \  ~# T0 Q$ n/ q6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.
0 k  w) {0 ?0 q& u5 s: A
7. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?
9 _6 i( A8 b' q/ i5 Q7 @- K( y
0 a7 J, X* V, H1 O3 }; g8 i, Q9 e8. I pay your salary!

* @1 }2 z# k, z! D9. Gee, Office r! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!
+ @. \5 T# z* F$ s# x( K% l# B. `7 M7 E
% F4 o* Q/ l* X' W10. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.

11. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around. That's how far ahead of me they are.
0 A+ g8 s# r# `2 P9 [9 t8 ]
. d" k2 ]) k4 c4 Y! w12. When the Officer says "Gee .Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with, "Gee, Officer your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"