Never Say to a Cop:

OliveOil

NEVER SAY TO A COP:
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2 ?% |5 R( {; D; y$ g8 @2 y1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer. (OK in Texas)
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2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.

  ^) z' K" X4 O  N3. Aren't you the guy from the Village People?

5 L0 ]5 v( i! S) C' H- s4. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!

; x; f3 a4 L( O4 D1 a) k: o3 J: ~5. Are You Andy or Barney?

7 d; s0 T) d1 R, m6 `6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.
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7. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?
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3 |, r* u; ~: h) X8. I pay your salary!

" P* [5 }9 N+ w( m9. Gee, Office r! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!

8 M2 Y/ J& ?8 p+ F& \1 Y( K10. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.

11. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around. That's how far ahead of me they are.
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12. When the Officer says "Gee .Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with, "Gee, Officer your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"