埃德蒙顿华人社区-Edmonton China

 找回密码
 注册
查看: 4361|回复: 3

weekend happyness

[复制链接]
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-8-22 20:40 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new * z; N: t6 g  I+ o
BMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a 1 k* T6 h* ~# P
Broni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window
4 u9 G# U4 M  V6 w8 x* [7 j2 sand asked the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your 5 b3 w& t( K, I# {$ I8 k
flock, will you give me one?"- Z. k5 J& W! W1 Z# ~
. y2 r- r8 \2 z9 {9 o
The shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his
9 y/ x: M: T$ l' N1 F/ N" \  ]peacefully-grazing flock and calmly answered, "Sure."+ p7 H! r+ {- B

! B# E0 y0 n# x; m( S- @The yuppie parked his car, whipped out his IBM ThinkPad and connected it to a " a0 Q* t/ ]2 H7 u: O$ a4 ]
cell phone, then he surfed to a NASA page on the internet where he called up a 5 T2 R8 `. J9 C- t
GPS satellite navigation system, scanned the area, and then opened up a database
: J2 U0 r2 L) a5 m3 s; m+ dand an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas. He sent an email on his   _  {6 ]4 Z% J3 b( q
Blackberry and, after a few minutes, received a response. Finally, he prints out 0 y1 C# v5 x. e) ]
a 130 page report on his miniaturized printer then turns to the shepherd and # L- R5 ]5 h5 P; ^) @
says,"You have exactly 1586 sheep"./ y. Q; H: n' W- n) \

6 p2 }+ i) ^5 Y! P) x8 c/ Y"That is correct; take one of the sheep" said the shepherd. ; k3 ?6 v- Q; J3 R; b
7 J  C; i3 ~- U* |
He watches the young man select one of the animals and bundle it into his - H5 D! ?7 Y  W
car.
% L: f9 y  F  f" r# |% U7 Y
) }0 K; p% U7 H0 X; E+ rThen the shepherd says: "If I can tell you exactly what your business 3 v- E$ I1 Z: |1 X$ ?; V
is, will you give me back my animal?"& Z, }0 P$ y- R6 W) F

1 y. c( H- G# D  L5 C) z; _"OK, why not" answered the young man.
2 O3 u9 F6 p# n# x+ N. p0 Q3 E& Q' R9 U+ `, m( T) L
"Clearly, you are a consultant" said the shepherd. # s. y+ W8 _4 ?4 S5 N; v

5 E1 H4 c- ^# S"That's correct" says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"
" v% M9 Y, n) b5 W) S
" j$ ^0 f: a$ H5 q"No guessing required" answers the shepherd. "You turned up here although 9 F' k! H1 E  s8 d9 Y( U3 Q
nobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a 2 b9 u2 u! C. c
question I never asked, and you don't know crap about my business.... Now give ! c" F& y: n! |5 A6 {5 y$ b
me back my dog".
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:41 | 显示全部楼层
a woman walks into a supermarket, and notices a male customer whose zipper is
7 l/ J# u9 B: ^. G$ ^# A+ _undone. The woman kindly says" excuse me sir,but your barracks doors are open". 3 a5 X; l5 F2 ?5 g, {% `' t
Not having a clue what the woman was talking about he continued shopping. A few
+ E# a% y3 [  rmoments later another customer approached the man and explained that his zipper 1 t4 \1 `1 y# }! r4 d6 e) e  l5 a
was undone. The man zipped up and continued his shopping. At the checkout he ran 0 x, t( q+ H; A8 a# a
into the woman who originally informed him of his zipper.He decides to play into
7 F' q3 d; p( n1 vher unusual comment; "excuse me maam, when you noticed my barracks door was 3 j& c' T" c, }
open, did you happen to see a soldier standing at full attention?" The woman
, ]- P4 A* F: b6 _8 Presponded by saying " no, all i saw was a disabled vet sitting on two duffle ; L* M0 W3 G0 h' N, I6 f/ X$ A; y
bags"
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:42 | 显示全部楼层
Three couples were married and stayed at the same hotel for their honeymoons, 9 ~% n& B2 }1 e3 [" }. m: s
where they were all taken care of by Dave the Bellboy.
4 J+ A- z8 g! r) ?, X+ x$ }5 Y+ J
: t+ x3 e' s8 HThe first man married a nurse. 0 r  }9 H; V' q3 X# D6 u

, E7 g) X5 {* C, U& Y8 IDave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "What a lucky guy.
: E2 q9 h, Z- _3 M. {- U1 MNurses are known to be hot to trot".
6 ~0 c* {* j$ D+ ?# M& A
8 G1 r" n, e( y. _! oThe second man married a telephone operator. $ s- Y' H! N% g4 m0 s

) [) i0 J# M$ p5 P1 m) m" ]Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself,?Wow, he's a lucky one. + c7 P3 B7 n$ ?) v& `  n
Telephone operators have sexy voices and once you pop that top * J) t' R8 e  q& k
button...A-bomb.?
' R6 E8 j9 |5 |; X
& ^* d, ^/ W! i, g) W% ]The third man married a school teacher.
) P  w0 ~3 ?2 F4 U4 z1 B5 ?4 Y% }1 F9 u! x& t- }* a4 Z
Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "Poor guy, she's pretty
- |# }8 _! d3 ?2 vbut teachers are just too frigid".% j, D) ^: I; k$ ^$ m: N

6 v5 Z0 @1 g+ NThe next morning, Dave reported to work at 5:30 in the morning. He expected
' d# L: t* r/ @/ C% J' d! _only the teacher's husband to call for breakfast any minute and the other two
7 G% e0 O2 f5 ~6 P" qwould call much later in the day.
* @) _5 K! g8 M! y; h" u# f2 r- H3 {" y* e0 V0 K
At 6:00 a.m. the phone rang. It was the nurse's husband wanting breakfast. The + M& B: ?) d1 k8 l2 S
nurse's husband opened the door and Dave stepped back in shock. The man's
" B8 a; `2 m0 s; \5 E$ tpajamas were still pressed and his hair nicely combed.
* n0 g* l! ~* X% H4 H. _4 B( I# j1 X6 {: X1 D& R
Dave asked, "What happened sir? You married a nurse.6 ?  S1 d, _/ g7 U: }
. e7 x; r, E  w: N( B9 }2 T
The man sourly replies, "Son, don't ever marry a nurse. All I heard last night
; d/ h5 F7 i! Q3 {5 L5 B: Dwas her nagging voice saying, 揧ou抮e not sanitary, and you抮e not sanitary."
& z6 b4 U4 W$ j! @9 `+ ^6 x: x
! M0 _$ S, F" cAt 6:30 a.m., the phone rang again.
3 k7 c  V! `1 R( `- C8 b' {
0 K- L! n' w" |0 y+ PThe telephone operator's husband called for breakfast. Dave brought it as fast 8 K# v& }  `$ L+ D$ W+ P
as possible hoping for the best. The man opened the door and Dave stepped back
% S% T2 W% [, |6 W. _in shock. The man's hair and pajamas were properly combed and pressed.5 ]8 ^7 R8 K& \! W

7 U- m0 Z9 W; Q( }. rDave asked," What happened? Telephone operators are supposed to be as sexy as
8 }/ p' p! C$ @( \2 y* r3 h. ltheir voices."
) i! i+ L% x; M& _7 c, @: Y
0 g' ~7 B! h4 L; W2 q5 I3 b2 k1 K0 eThe man sourly replies "Son, don't ever marry a telephone operator. All I
* G/ y# u* \9 Q) i! F0 Fheard last night was her nasal voice saying, "You're three minutes are up, your
) @& H& F) |6 \) `three minutes are up."
, J1 c* T1 j3 o% C+ R; y* G2 U0 {& Z+ v9 u( R9 h$ ~+ s
Dave went back down to the desk, just knowing the teacher抯 husband would be " F( a0 z" A: O$ k  C
calling any minute.
" E9 B4 e. ~& b; \4 ^$ _2 I) P' W( Y6 Q* k( c" V
Finally at 4:30 p.m., the teacher's husband called for breakfast.% d! V# o9 C- x1 v

" L, }0 z" g2 _* K$ J5 x3 I% R* g8 ~Dave can't believe it but quickly took the breakfast to the couple抯 room. The
+ L# V3 J6 b8 @; aman opened the door and Dave took a step back in shock. The man was wearing only
5 A0 V& T; n' q3 }8 uhis boxers, his hair was a mess, and he had scratch marks on his chest, arms and 2 I4 \8 x# x; Y, U/ N$ l
legs.
- C) p8 g$ m, T: j
) J9 M0 C/ q( z0 K! `3 u5 n2 lJoe fearing the worst asked 揥hat happened to you? Did you have a 1 {: [: _+ u2 q5 l% J! V1 @0 i* W/ T
fight?" 9 n. Z/ g3 v# Z1 M

4 h+ ?: K: r- J7 s1 IThe man smiled and happily replied, "No. Son, when you marry, be sure to marry 1 s0 h& t( z" J% c! g
a school teacher. All I heard last night was her sexy smooth voice saying "We
  G: Z$ A1 |8 r$ u0 Q+ H" o1 mare going to do this over and over, until we get right."
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2008-8-22 22:12 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
good job! thanks for sharing
您需要登录后才可以回帖 登录 | 注册

本版积分规则

联系我们|小黑屋|手机版|Archiver|埃德蒙顿中文网

GMT-7, 2025-5-30 08:34 , Processed in 0.140449 second(s), 12 queries , Gzip On, APC On.

Powered by Discuz! X3.4

Copyright © 2001-2021, Tencent Cloud.

快速回复 返回顶部 返回列表