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weekend happyness

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发表于 2008-8-22 20:40 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new
: W* G1 u# Z  N+ i' O$ YBMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a   b9 K8 a7 R, |  j& t- |
Broni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window
/ d. j) k4 }  ^# F7 Kand asked the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your
# [: [. D1 H1 j1 Gflock, will you give me one?"
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) H4 a5 M6 U. H/ {4 s' E, _2 `" G1 GThe shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his
$ C5 z% I3 A# p1 d3 F9 \peacefully-grazing flock and calmly answered, "Sure."" L% g  ]0 g( K" a  ~0 h0 b' d

  v3 i1 h( z4 ~3 \- ], dThe yuppie parked his car, whipped out his IBM ThinkPad and connected it to a ) L. M" Q1 A" N0 R2 b
cell phone, then he surfed to a NASA page on the internet where he called up a
* [% B9 h. k1 @- ~GPS satellite navigation system, scanned the area, and then opened up a database
  h6 U/ @; l2 x+ z, n" J% Nand an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas. He sent an email on his
) D% L. q5 s% ^# o6 g% s1 `Blackberry and, after a few minutes, received a response. Finally, he prints out ; Q7 |3 B4 `( }
a 130 page report on his miniaturized printer then turns to the shepherd and
# j* j% |  z3 l2 y9 T* k/ I8 e- R0 Tsays,"You have exactly 1586 sheep".8 i7 J4 \- K3 O: j8 a
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"That is correct; take one of the sheep" said the shepherd. # V- m& I% j: \1 z* w. b, n$ M! q
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He watches the young man select one of the animals and bundle it into his
$ n9 G* ]: R# |) X# t. B! ?( Ecar.7 F5 u' a+ \) G+ Y6 n
) ?8 [6 {5 g: L! a4 _# ]
Then the shepherd says: "If I can tell you exactly what your business
& O/ g$ v- ^' s7 |is, will you give me back my animal?"
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"OK, why not" answered the young man.
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- Q8 N  [9 F7 F9 }4 c"Clearly, you are a consultant" said the shepherd.
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"That's correct" says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"& |2 p% o2 @! s4 Q% Z

6 \' _  |# J% w1 N& S8 i"No guessing required" answers the shepherd. "You turned up here although 8 }2 ~3 L" f) ^; L, q
nobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a
$ ~  D9 q1 B2 u  m( \question I never asked, and you don't know crap about my business.... Now give 0 O# o! Y1 S2 R
me back my dog".
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:41 | 显示全部楼层
a woman walks into a supermarket, and notices a male customer whose zipper is
# M2 P5 ~3 o: d3 ?* Fundone. The woman kindly says" excuse me sir,but your barracks doors are open". 1 @# I' ^0 w% f0 D3 u# G: ~7 i
Not having a clue what the woman was talking about he continued shopping. A few 0 U; P. Y( ]" ?3 Z+ z: l
moments later another customer approached the man and explained that his zipper
9 P- `1 u: g8 @5 X& o  Zwas undone. The man zipped up and continued his shopping. At the checkout he ran
( m) l5 P) J- ~$ S/ f: R& ]6 Q  ^into the woman who originally informed him of his zipper.He decides to play into ) _9 ^" g! q) u+ Y( k# V+ u0 f  s/ k
her unusual comment; "excuse me maam, when you noticed my barracks door was
- ~6 y. G( d) q, T( s3 t/ Topen, did you happen to see a soldier standing at full attention?" The woman 1 r  G/ N$ R$ x0 |; S$ V, s, s
responded by saying " no, all i saw was a disabled vet sitting on two duffle
, _. ~; f( `% o7 P4 n2 Bbags"
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:42 | 显示全部楼层
Three couples were married and stayed at the same hotel for their honeymoons,
+ h4 ?5 Z3 E) l8 I, a+ |- A$ l+ Ewhere they were all taken care of by Dave the Bellboy.
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The first man married a nurse. , L& y( c% l: F5 v  t$ a1 V
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Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "What a lucky guy. 0 q. K0 R. h5 ]
Nurses are known to be hot to trot".
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The second man married a telephone operator.
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Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself,?Wow, he's a lucky one. : ?, S! f. e1 t7 M' o6 D
Telephone operators have sexy voices and once you pop that top
: s# _$ @3 c4 U3 j' {button...A-bomb.?
$ ^% L% r; d3 Q& [+ c1 E
6 \2 z" v3 r  v- k; C* W$ j7 B& OThe third man married a school teacher. 9 _+ e# f8 t5 g  \' A5 V: t" H
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Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "Poor guy, she's pretty
+ o3 C" R  v0 I/ Z6 lbut teachers are just too frigid".: f' f% I% c. m

2 ~- d7 F' t8 i) m5 S' bThe next morning, Dave reported to work at 5:30 in the morning. He expected
" O1 I& @% Y. N7 k5 A2 jonly the teacher's husband to call for breakfast any minute and the other two 0 j6 k$ F5 T( }3 ^: W
would call much later in the day.) G" j: W7 P! ^4 E/ }# J/ B: l
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At 6:00 a.m. the phone rang. It was the nurse's husband wanting breakfast. The 8 L" t! k$ J0 \# P
nurse's husband opened the door and Dave stepped back in shock. The man's " A( c7 D" a7 X+ ?6 j
pajamas were still pressed and his hair nicely combed. $ ~# s: Y7 D3 c: H8 K: |

7 A$ v. Q+ L' c8 T$ eDave asked, "What happened sir? You married a nurse.
5 S  X+ n3 _* r! X2 l+ K& H- r; r
; c5 n5 \  q, x2 d: KThe man sourly replies, "Son, don't ever marry a nurse. All I heard last night
6 a9 D) R# a9 Q* R& x. iwas her nagging voice saying, 揧ou抮e not sanitary, and you抮e not sanitary."5 T+ Y6 h: }( p6 J( ^
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At 6:30 a.m., the phone rang again.
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9 k* ^" W+ u2 W& N% oThe telephone operator's husband called for breakfast. Dave brought it as fast + n8 h3 f! X. V, V+ W
as possible hoping for the best. The man opened the door and Dave stepped back 9 n" [3 D( a$ b, a4 }6 f0 p
in shock. The man's hair and pajamas were properly combed and pressed.
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Dave asked," What happened? Telephone operators are supposed to be as sexy as ! E4 w/ e" O2 }+ q6 ]
their voices." 6 B- v' l0 Z0 J8 L3 ]6 J
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The man sourly replies "Son, don't ever marry a telephone operator. All I
7 j( ]/ X3 X$ Y- Rheard last night was her nasal voice saying, "You're three minutes are up, your
+ w$ |9 t- v* y6 [" X: j) dthree minutes are up."
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Dave went back down to the desk, just knowing the teacher抯 husband would be + v) K; V0 U) @
calling any minute.7 q, O3 e0 G% r3 \

# n, D4 q# D8 c! t3 WFinally at 4:30 p.m., the teacher's husband called for breakfast.( M  U  {* `& ~4 c2 N5 W0 W( U# W
  I: L5 l. I2 G
Dave can't believe it but quickly took the breakfast to the couple抯 room. The ) D, \2 r8 \2 [
man opened the door and Dave took a step back in shock. The man was wearing only
" P# F0 ]6 B* ]8 J+ Yhis boxers, his hair was a mess, and he had scratch marks on his chest, arms and   r( P7 n/ G& P
legs.) x5 W  d' T2 L/ V! i4 p9 F2 F

( Y% q1 O3 u- I( e. k: U* HJoe fearing the worst asked 揥hat happened to you? Did you have a 6 Q5 i( ~: ^4 M: l/ w2 N8 S: |: ^
fight?"
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The man smiled and happily replied, "No. Son, when you marry, be sure to marry $ ]- t& z& d1 V& R' W
a school teacher. All I heard last night was her sexy smooth voice saying "We
( m0 |% `3 ]- b4 A( P1 eare going to do this over and over, until we get right."
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发表于 2008-8-22 22:12 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
good job! thanks for sharing
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