Just For A Laugh : LITTLE TONY'S REASONING LESSON

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LITTLE TONY'S REASONING LESSON
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+ \! x2 A0 ?* ?2 q* [4 a% ~3 j* s9 W> > > >A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence
> > > >and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on
> > > >little TONY.
> > > >He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot."
> > > >The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your
: K: S# u& R' |>thinking."
> > > >Then little TONY says, "I have a question for YOU. There are 3 women
7 K" d0 [$ W8 `- Y4 z> > > >sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the
/ V6 P2 r; _' ~: Q$ l- w> > > >sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the
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> > > >top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice
7 t5 q. c( @7 q* I) T. ~! B- r# A+ X>cream.
> > > >Which one is married?"
> > > >The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, "Well, I suppose the
' U' W  G7 A, r1 t5 L: h> > > >one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."
% G! }" A! Q* A> > > >To which Little TONY replied, "The correct answer is 'the one with
. Z9 u+ Q' E0 \. w$ }# B> > > >the wedding ring on', but I like your thinking."
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> > > >LITTLE TONY ON MATH
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5 w4 v0 `+ y( R% L4 }> > > >Little TONY returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.
, W8 O# `& T, T" R" A, B> > > >"Why?" asks the father.
$ Z9 o. I; m; X% d6 @> > > >"The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3', I said '6'," replies TONY.
) G+ r3 h& m" @4 P7 ~> > > >"But that's right!" says his dad.
> > > >"Yeah, but then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?' "
3 j/ f9 m( u+ E: g2 N8 U# x' B7 |> > > >"What's the 法克ing difference?" asks the father.
6 z8 T3 x2 Z1 f+ C; w$ x> > > >"That's what I said!"
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> > > >LITTLE TONY ON ENGLISH
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> > > >Little TONY goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are
> > > >going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an
7 S' [" ^6 B/ |* F9 ?( g> > > >example of a multi-syllable word?"
  [. ^% p3 f1 X- p& o5 r> > > >TONY says "Masturbate."
; c6 p8 Q* l4 b/ l" ~8 j( s$ o> > > >Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, little TONY, that's a mouthful."
9 H: c, k) o& c1 n4 U$ L* U> > > >Little TONY says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."
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7 M- z$ c4 a2 Y> > > >LITTLE TONY ON GRAMMAR
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* M' }' L6 d+ J4 p% O> > > >Little TONY was sitting in class one day. All of a sudden, he needed
2 _8 u( {7 z- V! m& e5 P> > > >to go to the bathroom. He yelled out, "Miss Jones, I need to take a
4 T  x, B' h& b- _. @: o  I% l> > > >piss!!"
> > > >The teacher replied, "Now, TONY, that is NOT the proper word to use
> > > >in this situation. The correct word you want to use is 'urinate'.
- c# ~$ L8 n+ f3 W% q> > > >Please use the word 'urinate' in a sentence correctly, and I will
7 L, T9 P" ]! l& ?+ r> > > >allow
> > > >you to go."
7 w# @3 u5 l( h1 W, g9 J# i> > > >Little TONY, thinks for a bit, and then says, "You're an eight, but
> > > >if you had bigger tits, you'd be a TEN!"
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> > > >LITTLE TONY ON GRAMMAR
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> > > >One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a
> > > >show of hands from those who could use the! Word "beautiful" in the
) @5 ^3 U& l3 ^* G* ]4 E> > > >same sentence twice.
  X5 G) y3 [5 C, k$ h$ N& o8 R( q> > > >First, she called on little Suzy, who responded with, "My father
" B- f% Y, N# q: J3 t> > > >bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it."
> > > >"Very good, Suzy," replied the teacher. She then called on little
> > > >Michael. "My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out
0 s+ E$ u: p8 b> > > >beautifully."
> > > >She said, "Excellent, Michael!" Then the teacher reluctantly
# Q# D8 c* P* L( J3 D- l& e# |> > > >called on little TONY.
0 ?7 W/ c  t' F! I: J8 r% c> > > >"Last night at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she
> > > >was pregnant, and he said 'Beautiful, just 法克ing beautiful!"
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> > > >LITTLE TONY ON GETTING OLDER
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  V+ V5 d# g  n" _> > > >Little TONY was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar
8 N/ O2 ~4 X' c( q# |> > > >after another. After the 6th one a man on the bench across from him
& L* b4 m# ^4 z> > > >said, "Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It
& e! F# U" ^' I4 {; p9 J. b> > > >will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat."
> > > >Little TONY replied, "My grandfather lived to be 107 years old."
> > > >The man asked, "Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?"
: H' r, \9 g2 _> > > >Little TONY answered, "No, he minded his own 法克ing business