Just For A Laugh : LITTLE TONY'S REASONING LESSON

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LITTLE TONY'S REASONING LESSON
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. p3 Z9 k3 f6 }/ ^. g6 i5 r. g> > > >A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence
8 Y+ y, _( F  m; U$ N4 u> > > >and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on
; T& S+ c" [* P8 d> > > >little TONY.
* c" F& O; x$ q. p$ f* i> > > >He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot."
> > > >The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your
>thinking."
/ ]8 X0 ^" P  J6 L> > > >Then little TONY says, "I have a question for YOU. There are 3 women
( O8 m' c1 L; H3 g  W9 q> > > >sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the
! q4 `3 D8 C/ G) @/ D> > > >sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the
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> > > >top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice
; Q# U+ {( m& [* r, S9 K9 @; C>cream.
6 a. n: l3 f5 q( h1 Z' ^> > > >Which one is married?"
> > > >The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, "Well, I suppose the
> > > >one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."
- q. Q! e3 J) S9 T. o* g9 j- o: B5 A> > > >To which Little TONY replied, "The correct answer is 'the one with
> > > >the wedding ring on', but I like your thinking."
# O& U0 e* k8 z2 o% ~3 H# y> > > >
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> > > >
> > > >LITTLE TONY ON MATH
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0 W9 M. H% ?9 _3 @- ~7 R3 ^> > > >Little TONY returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.
> > > >"Why?" asks the father.
9 Y- ]+ v5 t0 @0 X7 g! @, [2 P6 s> > > >"The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3', I said '6'," replies TONY.
> > > >"But that's right!" says his dad.
> > > >"Yeah, but then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?' "
> > > >"What's the 法克ing difference?" asks the father.
> > > >"That's what I said!"
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> > > >LITTLE TONY ON ENGLISH
> > > >
> > > >Little TONY goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are
> > > >going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an
6 L" p- {9 `/ P) K/ m; p> > > >example of a multi-syllable word?"
> > > >TONY says "Masturbate."
+ z+ Y$ p/ Z  q# Y- P6 M> > > >Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, little TONY, that's a mouthful."
> > > >Little TONY says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."
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> > > >
$ j- f0 Y7 Z: R  V& \> > > >LITTLE TONY ON GRAMMAR
> > > >
> > > >Little TONY was sitting in class one day. All of a sudden, he needed
> > > >to go to the bathroom. He yelled out, "Miss Jones, I need to take a
8 T" ^; g( M. i0 J2 b; Z> > > >piss!!"
9 V/ E( D/ Z: k: K& D8 u7 E> > > >The teacher replied, "Now, TONY, that is NOT the proper word to use
3 N% O1 p6 {) V> > > >in this situation. The correct word you want to use is 'urinate'.
* z- t3 W( I1 ?, S" p> > > >Please use the word 'urinate' in a sentence correctly, and I will
> > > >allow
5 a8 O- I) A% [" z> > > >you to go."
> > > >Little TONY, thinks for a bit, and then says, "You're an eight, but
  s8 W0 D( P; M  @) ]> > > >if you had bigger tits, you'd be a TEN!"
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# O) ~) a2 p$ F% W" S7 p> > > >LITTLE TONY ON GRAMMAR
> > > >
, M# c/ t3 u' T8 _( c> > > >One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a
7 l# u: W2 |& n2 ]5 j6 j7 J4 X> > > >show of hands from those who could use the! Word "beautiful" in the
> > > >same sentence twice.
> > > >First, she called on little Suzy, who responded with, "My father
> > > >bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it."
> > > >"Very good, Suzy," replied the teacher. She then called on little
; `% s6 i$ j& X: C& r2 t: F. e> > > >Michael. "My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out
' q/ f' A* W, _> > > >beautifully."
> > > >She said, "Excellent, Michael!" Then the teacher reluctantly
. }: m" p- g; H  n2 e$ X5 ?> > > >called on little TONY.
5 D" }6 Q- M: G1 `; u+ f" n) _5 [> > > >"Last night at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she
> > > >was pregnant, and he said 'Beautiful, just 法克ing beautiful!"
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> > > >
> > > >LITTLE TONY ON GETTING OLDER
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% J3 ]9 H8 C0 l" h; p7 C% R> > > >Little TONY was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar
/ @1 p9 n& O. U  |> > > >after another. After the 6th one a man on the bench across from him
> > > >said, "Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It
! P# D+ [8 ?+ ^6 ]. y+ u) Z  m> > > >will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat."
" B: Y$ ]! H  o9 n> > > >Little TONY replied, "My grandfather lived to be 107 years old."
> > > >The man asked, "Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?"
> > > >Little TONY answered, "No, he minded his own 法克ing business