Just For A Laugh : LITTLE TONY'S REASONING LESSON

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LITTLE TONY'S REASONING LESSON
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' I$ ]3 |' y3 p1 r  N/ }5 r4 f! o> > > >A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence
, a8 g" d+ P3 l; x' A* `- U> > > >and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on
- v8 ~" E# P+ Y3 S" `0 _2 L> > > >little TONY.
. h( N1 @) E) ^> > > >He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot."
) e. h1 C; l) B/ d# P* J> > > >The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your
  r9 v# Y1 p4 E& d1 H: J>thinking."
> > > >Then little TONY says, "I have a question for YOU. There are 3 women
> > > >sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the
" z7 ?, |7 H9 v$ h" h5 ?; u> > > >sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the
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> > > >top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice
>cream.
> > > >Which one is married?"
> > > >The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, "Well, I suppose the
> > > >one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."
7 a& J: F6 b3 }) H$ I> > > >To which Little TONY replied, "The correct answer is 'the one with
> > > >the wedding ring on', but I like your thinking."
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) o! B- C! {& ~) Y" E( z  N> > > >LITTLE TONY ON MATH
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: C$ K) W1 x8 p! K! k4 o0 D> > > >Little TONY returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.
> > > >"Why?" asks the father.
: R5 B4 D- e# T2 {> > > >"The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3', I said '6'," replies TONY.
7 z- L3 O* A7 B& M# q> > > >"But that's right!" says his dad.
> > > >"Yeah, but then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?' "
: Q% C4 V9 e+ I. y. d6 T0 }> > > >"What's the 法克ing difference?" asks the father.
> > > >"That's what I said!"
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> > > >
9 R6 s3 ?/ r1 \; r* `& l, U$ q> > > >LITTLE TONY ON ENGLISH
> > > >
! J! f; u- D9 r1 W> > > >Little TONY goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are
* Y. I, D6 `4 |$ B2 E- ?> > > >going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an
> > > >example of a multi-syllable word?"
> > > >TONY says "Masturbate."
4 O, ?2 |5 N/ X% s; I, e> > > >Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, little TONY, that's a mouthful."
> > > >Little TONY says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."
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4 q# K7 @  S4 J, p6 Y% c$ y5 g8 h% T1 |> > > >LITTLE TONY ON GRAMMAR
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> > > >Little TONY was sitting in class one day. All of a sudden, he needed
> > > >to go to the bathroom. He yelled out, "Miss Jones, I need to take a
, e3 l3 u5 A! {% ^3 g- a> > > >piss!!"
: f3 m, l8 f8 h9 ^0 o> > > >The teacher replied, "Now, TONY, that is NOT the proper word to use
* S: v/ Z5 |' Z2 N/ b> > > >in this situation. The correct word you want to use is 'urinate'.
> > > >Please use the word 'urinate' in a sentence correctly, and I will
0 y# M# o& D, {" N% g" `+ b> > > >allow
> > > >you to go."
  d6 j: i4 Q' \/ h> > > >Little TONY, thinks for a bit, and then says, "You're an eight, but
; A, m. \; J0 i$ v8 A8 @> > > >if you had bigger tits, you'd be a TEN!"
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4 u6 _: U; Y' r( o% P> > > >LITTLE TONY ON GRAMMAR
> > > >
> > > >One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a
> > > >show of hands from those who could use the! Word "beautiful" in the
> > > >same sentence twice.
> > > >First, she called on little Suzy, who responded with, "My father
> > > >bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it."
> > > >"Very good, Suzy," replied the teacher. She then called on little
> > > >Michael. "My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out
2 ]& t9 L8 M6 k, L> > > >beautifully."
> > > >She said, "Excellent, Michael!" Then the teacher reluctantly
* D0 t; p9 G2 ?> > > >called on little TONY.
: k/ {  ~- a3 F- c: d, b> > > >"Last night at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she
# ^) m) D% X8 d& E; f> > > >was pregnant, and he said 'Beautiful, just 法克ing beautiful!"
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. L$ ~; q& j2 x4 b+ C> > > >LITTLE TONY ON GETTING OLDER
> > > >
> > > >Little TONY was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar
0 \! t* d2 f9 Z' a8 r+ U: T% V0 J6 K> > > >after another. After the 6th one a man on the bench across from him
; Q& X! N; s$ K( p. w* G$ L5 L> > > >said, "Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It
> > > >will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat."
> > > >Little TONY replied, "My grandfather lived to be 107 years old."
> > > >The man asked, "Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?"
) v+ v( r! q* X- P; |! [> > > >Little TONY answered, "No, he minded his own 法克ing business