Just For A Laugh : LITTLE TONY'S REASONING LESSON

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LITTLE TONY'S REASONING LESSON
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> > > >A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence
> > > >and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on
> > > >little TONY.
> > > >He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot."
> > > >The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your
>thinking."
6 e8 N# x9 }. _) O> > > >Then little TONY says, "I have a question for YOU. There are 3 women
> > > >sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the
* {, j5 J, T0 n' \> > > >sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the
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> > > >top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice
>cream.
> > > >Which one is married?"
+ q' ~" e. x1 f- ^1 S> > > >The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, "Well, I suppose the
> > > >one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."
> > > >To which Little TONY replied, "The correct answer is 'the one with
) \2 D6 I# T: B6 g1 _> > > >the wedding ring on', but I like your thinking."
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5 z1 q- E9 }. D3 a% e/ k> > > >LITTLE TONY ON MATH
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( U8 \: Z; u/ Q5 q; j0 d7 @> > > >Little TONY returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.
# x3 N- [/ {% Q; e6 T> > > >"Why?" asks the father.
, r* f: L, ~; C8 n> > > >"The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3', I said '6'," replies TONY.
% m  G! m' Q/ x+ h, O0 j> > > >"But that's right!" says his dad.
> > > >"Yeah, but then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?' "
> > > >"What's the 法克ing difference?" asks the father.
/ K* k  }% H: X1 {> > > >"That's what I said!"
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> > > >LITTLE TONY ON ENGLISH
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: r$ H. h, k& `, E0 X1 Q> > > >Little TONY goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are
> > > >going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an
> > > >example of a multi-syllable word?"
> > > >TONY says "Masturbate."
> > > >Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, little TONY, that's a mouthful."
> > > >Little TONY says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."
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> > > >
5 p- B2 |9 s  r> > > >LITTLE TONY ON GRAMMAR
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) N, S0 h$ P7 C& n, s! }" T$ `* A> > > >Little TONY was sitting in class one day. All of a sudden, he needed
0 e& o7 n1 G! P- m9 D: S> > > >to go to the bathroom. He yelled out, "Miss Jones, I need to take a
> > > >piss!!"
. Z% y5 t% @, v> > > >The teacher replied, "Now, TONY, that is NOT the proper word to use
4 Y7 A9 H/ _! \2 ?* n, c, K> > > >in this situation. The correct word you want to use is 'urinate'.
> > > >Please use the word 'urinate' in a sentence correctly, and I will
> > > >allow
> > > >you to go."
2 }& v  g  U! N2 M/ c3 A9 [; j2 q> > > >Little TONY, thinks for a bit, and then says, "You're an eight, but
> > > >if you had bigger tits, you'd be a TEN!"
> > > >
> > > >
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> > > >LITTLE TONY ON GRAMMAR
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> > > >One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a
> > > >show of hands from those who could use the! Word "beautiful" in the
6 u6 `1 Y" r( `- T' g! a+ U. U2 @) m> > > >same sentence twice.
> > > >First, she called on little Suzy, who responded with, "My father
> > > >bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it."
' W& q5 [0 K3 V3 E> > > >"Very good, Suzy," replied the teacher. She then called on little
  T" F6 k3 M% r% G; [' p; e" Z' Q> > > >Michael. "My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out
> > > >beautifully."
* m# U/ f9 m8 q" S> > > >She said, "Excellent, Michael!" Then the teacher reluctantly
8 K% w% p# p# @& y> > > >called on little TONY.
( Y/ |2 ~: y9 |' y" ~, b) z( f> > > >"Last night at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she
" Q; K) H7 {! b; y( X1 o> > > >was pregnant, and he said 'Beautiful, just 法克ing beautiful!"
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" }% X+ ^  Y3 K9 h& k2 i7 C# G' g6 N> > > >LITTLE TONY ON GETTING OLDER
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5 H/ j4 N1 }! k  @6 n" Y> > > >Little TONY was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar
. C: ^: D6 B) y> > > >after another. After the 6th one a man on the bench across from him
. p) c. g  _2 F. H, i> > > >said, "Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It
> > > >will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat."
> > > >Little TONY replied, "My grandfather lived to be 107 years old."
/ E$ g+ }: r8 o, N! I7 B" a> > > >The man asked, "Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?"
8 ^7 M- ?" Q/ X, l% o1 X" w0 A> > > >Little TONY answered, "No, he minded his own 法克ing business