 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : . N+ a9 s3 b' k, i& K7 q( ]
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Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
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; q/ v; _9 q' z* X- p# ZWalk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas." G* @. l% _. y* |* z
6 H8 g) c: [. q. U J$ x3 P) h; J qLook at your womanly physique in the mirror -- ( H% C( e( i# Q* w- o
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.) O' o7 K9 z( o3 }* z" Z( n8 E
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
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9 d7 j% ?9 p) A- I" f3 J `4 ?4 CWash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.5 d. @- _1 ?% g- O
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. ' d" ]! W7 G1 |7 U, v% T
9 y! Z7 \; y6 j! C8 P G+ jWash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. ) X3 ~+ s. L `) w8 |# E5 H q) T
' p; C7 h. N z1 fRinse conditioner off hair.+ S* e! C) _) a" Z1 J
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Shave armpits and legs.
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Turn off shower.
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Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
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Spray mold spots with Tilex.
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Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
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( N# K. i* B9 J' V" K9 hWrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. 4 a' Z; d+ F# _" Y0 C
7 C1 L- S4 t) e& hIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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/ f h: u2 L' R K1 {, T, UHOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
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Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
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Walk naked to the bathroom.
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4 N5 T: J' W0 j4 V3 [3 ]4 f/ v( JIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
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Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
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$ C( M" b$ f# O# ?/ I/ XAdmire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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* n* x% Y, \ rBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
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Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. / o2 [7 ]: i8 w* a! Z. ?. p
0 _# D# v- C& Y; O M9 pSpend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. 7 A8 ^# {& I9 b* T# {7 x
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Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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( I8 ^, z, N {$ nWash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. ! v* V) @& k% A
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Pee. , K6 y2 ^3 J4 c: y. ^( f
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Rinse off and get out of shower.
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Partially dry off.: c. C1 o. J( |7 G7 Q6 l
8 \6 M6 [. @1 F! I8 s3 f1 }Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
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! P' S- e, O" v6 E* R6 N( wAdmire wiener size in mirror again.
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; Q- {# c0 ]: j& [Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. " L( n9 O# [3 x; g4 d6 [" _7 V
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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Throw wet towel on bed. # k2 v% W1 O, J, E
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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