 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
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Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
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% `4 ?. } A$ z3 XWalk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. / B; t8 p* z- C
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.4 A( a1 o" o% U' O8 l, R
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- 3 i5 f% J8 u! W5 Z, y1 L5 u
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.* k$ H. R* V& y4 f
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
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! U) E3 G1 T3 m' d, x; PWash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean. {% s, A+ a# \" ?3 L1 e$ ?
+ ?, X% w7 q0 G+ qCondition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..6 U. d, U& c3 l* E! y5 J
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. / P7 C# M, Q5 A; t) [: ]
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Rinse conditioner off hair.8 H, D/ F; Y; T& h& e# Z5 o9 `
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Shave armpits and legs.
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P8 S, M! [) r, r6 m& g* XTurn off shower.
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Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.$ X$ K- ?/ n( L( B
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Spray mold spots with Tilex.
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/ J/ L5 \9 Z# P1 c4 g- d6 V JGet out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
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Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. + Q2 y$ b6 M# K2 G6 |2 C" Q
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
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7 s3 ]6 B: ~5 P% x- LIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. 1 ~4 Y- ]& |4 G/ D* S$ o
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& ?$ T6 x0 L- b5 THOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: , k' Z7 q2 {- _% s
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Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. 4 ]% N) ]1 ^( I6 z
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Walk naked to the bathroom.6 q# l! a) J$ g* I! @0 T. |
8 _2 s$ c3 n1 s' W' C- iIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. % T/ {1 K7 c3 \% @2 B; N7 a
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Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
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' j. U2 I0 n( F2 `# yAdmire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. ) P( P/ `5 A* L; _
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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- v1 e2 t6 W p. B# {Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
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( r# W) p3 [$ n$ r# R0 G6 BFart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. ; u/ k6 |8 H0 l* q
- h8 I' M, l' t/ @Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. 9 G4 I3 [; h- Z
! G, Z" W2 _8 @! D& u% ~Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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3 z5 T9 x5 }! F+ F. B( ?Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
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Pee.
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E; G7 ?; U2 ?- ~" K$ BRinse off and get out of shower.
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6 q# z: P( U& E; {/ f+ f5 q4 b aPartially dry off.8 @. \/ v) ]& [* u0 }; u/ Q. B8 E
0 F/ ?8 X- o( o, S; x' K }3 m6 GFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
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Admire wiener size in mirror again. 3 h# A5 N) ]! l1 c3 _, \3 b9 j
* X3 \% I- t, KLeave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. % e& `9 z9 _- {9 G
1 n7 C9 D; \- m' _4 LThrow wet towel on bed. 0 A, c- ]$ K! U* E5 t
5 n& a, m8 {+ ?$ f& ]# aIf there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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