 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : ( f, {0 P9 N9 x* u1 s, w
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" b, ]3 X- Q+ j9 J8 t1 `Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
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* N h$ t- |# J2 J# @# L: }% @% N' _ [Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. ! ~ h2 V4 U F: A
7 `0 m8 z+ i9 ?If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror --
' ^& A) M# r* \6 t; emake mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
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, Z; W' P9 C% f. x' jGet in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. 9 M5 Y l/ ^! h1 z: y3 ^
0 b9 j6 [+ o" K' `* r. B: r8 W$ jWash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.6 J$ P6 @( i8 ` c0 ^
0 P' z* @7 N7 g% VCondition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
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) {+ g1 E/ U, r& r+ ?" ZWash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. ' K2 L* u( P( K/ z
3 l3 X! o+ a3 K3 | VWash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. ' C$ p% e: ]- i3 ]* ?& @* E
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Rinse conditioner off hair.
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Shave armpits and legs., y1 ]0 N- `( E, }7 \
: r- U2 u z0 z& H( JTurn off shower.* o3 W; P% c1 t9 Q& a
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Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.% M. b- ~: X K. j% s# B7 M
+ t% y X: ~" }6 s# ?Spray mold spots with Tilex. * `8 ^1 `, l( V" e [9 c
! Q+ _$ Y1 I: [# A# l/ \Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
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Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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0 a; N1 ^& i# i' N# L4 @# @Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. + l& n- ^$ _6 W2 U5 |: N0 R- {6 @
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: 7 X( {/ q8 U: h- O
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Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. : e3 ~ z& i$ l4 V
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Walk naked to the bathroom.9 v3 ]" d, u% t
( h: b8 F' P( s1 S6 b4 [If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
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Look at your manly physique in the mirror. 4 W+ b) O, U }* x! L- N
/ w: \" i# A2 E( c" L2 IAdmire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. 4 O! m u" h2 {3 ?% `7 C: w
1 U7 d* K2 c. s- r2 {2 g cGet in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. 2 n! x8 p+ Z1 L5 Z2 R; a7 M9 L
1 ]0 w5 [1 r1 k6 hFart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. 6 \ o% i$ G. N$ S
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Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. , g+ ]4 a6 F9 E* t7 K
6 u% A, R4 T& q/ d! ]. B. QWash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
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Pee.
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& c3 i; e0 x+ ?( a" T0 HRinse off and get out of shower. 8 j4 m; d( f$ n3 Y! A! X5 `
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Partially dry off.
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$ L$ K# V d9 k; E8 rFail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. ! i; m! t" n6 i% O- }, r/ D# J! S
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Admire wiener size in mirror again. ! ~ ~( d: t8 w. f
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. / u/ a; P. |2 K' H+ s" T
, A% e. q5 l5 b! m* nReturn to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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Throw wet towel on bed. * l. @" i5 D. o* h) O
( T( G% W' t3 b+ _+ c" w- gIf there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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