 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
|
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : ' l* w4 k+ h' J
4 | d. f. E7 n4 ]1 d, ?
* c' i, B$ G" L% |4 K--------------------------------------------------------------------------------8 G8 n; u0 g$ s
; b, [* w* @3 ~+ U
1 _8 o5 o: _ L5 v7 i
1 c7 F5 p3 v, j+ m3 M% L$ DTake off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.6 }, I# Y- g) f0 _. c! T
# Y/ ~" R* Z, d
Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. , O3 T+ U: [7 z0 t/ \% D1 T& r M
+ y# _ r; E d% qIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
' V/ u( _+ r' Y# T9 d
6 S V1 f% y' w0 ?1 dLook at your womanly physique in the mirror -- P* o+ u$ M( ~8 v. `, x
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
% o- t d, |! Y' W
& D/ ?3 m5 ]: q: `8 x4 I% i: vGet in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
! a+ y" y: Q g
5 t: ]6 s: O$ X+ ~2 s. f' E! ?Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. # t, I6 }: f: g/ d: s# k
# e1 F4 I1 m% e# w( _, h4 ?0 T
Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
6 A+ x6 r* C/ _8 R
1 [+ c) T5 x) B& ^Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
# Q: _8 {8 V& x9 {$ p$ a
& c9 g' p- _- o, `* nWash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. 3 B: X# {0 e9 X( L) U: r* {9 j
) j/ {8 |5 r" L8 X. b) l& F. K+ K
Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
# B6 s4 r. C- }' ?$ H. Y% y8 f* Q# I2 _3 m8 A
Rinse conditioner off hair.: B- Q3 a7 L9 B0 w
' y8 ?' |* W# v; S' q% [Shave armpits and legs.
$ B4 Y4 U" W* T/ c& Z; o2 S$ K g3 [; W. C6 h* j/ e( D' E4 c
Turn off shower.0 d" D+ a l9 x1 E( h/ l9 ?
+ `( o. ?0 d/ z- L* O9 i
Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
- U1 f2 g B9 `3 ~8 J' n, x } P+ `* {& U$ W6 H# j) |+ j
Spray mold spots with Tilex. / ~6 R* x2 O- d# C& O8 Z
9 _0 I" c* [1 l* p
Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
3 c# X7 z. |5 Q- C; Z% H5 V/ h: ]9 Q/ ~( s# h1 f6 b
Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. % b/ t( J# y+ O2 ~5 z1 y: j
9 e6 P8 C8 z' S. x1 w/ m
Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. 7 p m. Z1 X, {! Q3 m; p
: @" e* i2 o7 _' s( q- kIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
, f( n4 R F5 ?5 j0 e) I; q% V( Q ?$ ?! l1 A
7 f: A# }! b. T7 Q0 N
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
/ M, v( F! p" J0 J) J( l0 |. i; T2 }
Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
" A! b$ i# ^* }7 Y9 B2 B9 h3 ^! ~6 \- u' G |
Walk naked to the bathroom.4 b3 i) \: Q; n/ i5 F' i
3 k8 z' h* X* yIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
% g z/ B2 I- S$ P, C( y8 s# y3 a
! r/ X" p9 P/ bLook at your manly physique in the mirror. 7 a, y6 N3 a" s' D
+ c, |; { l: L, V) V" r @Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
2 @# E# A4 W" v& J+ e4 @3 b" P
, Q$ S# o+ E& y% q# J; B. t0 HGet in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits. & w6 y' A+ k0 r, R% ~
/ u8 c6 b0 Z1 q: d# ~* ^
Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
$ O4 b; L& e) p4 \: V+ I6 ~* x8 X" f4 K3 R& U
Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. 2 u6 W8 t9 |& {# H$ w& k1 Q2 i
/ I* b7 C( C- z* l+ O1 G+ l
Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
# V' N/ W! y9 [7 P1 M7 w/ }0 u) V3 b& }3 f! _) a) k
Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. P* `8 |8 T* n+ l! t
' s4 ?3 V. W+ x
Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. 5 w* Y+ @8 o; \! x2 W& I8 y: q0 N" ]. X
! Q# S5 M' c9 jPee.
/ n$ v8 M# E2 ~5 x8 L) ~+ O% E9 r( w
8 {8 ?( W9 T7 @+ m: F# e/ r9 BRinse off and get out of shower. 4 Q& o. }: s( H. d
- k/ y Z x8 O& @
Partially dry off.8 ~8 m. g7 @: N4 w
0 u( O- O! A$ m% E6 N z
Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. ) a2 z" p1 ^5 p( v9 l' D1 a
, N' S C' C( b$ N w& W" HAdmire wiener size in mirror again.
6 F0 a$ `' ]( Y' ^# Y. P/ L/ ?3 ?+ u$ h4 o0 }; Q2 n' n' Q% p
Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
6 s: O( S4 }( Q7 _( c# ]* T$ i6 w2 e: h7 a4 u+ \
Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. , X$ [4 Z" E' P6 E5 s8 _
/ X* b+ ?" F- ^ [" JThrow wet towel on bed.
8 C5 Y! t) s) A& e) @
8 |5 ?, t( ?5 \% FIf there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
|