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http://www.centurioncounsel.com/ ... Counselor_Q1-03.pdf
3 ?9 n( e- B7 A8 C z: ^‘TIME-TRAVELER’ BUSTED FOR INSIDER TRADING) X5 r& D m+ ]3 |7 d
Wednesday March 19, 2003 By CHAD KULTGEN5 C+ ^# n4 Y: F- O
NEW YORK — Federal investigators have arrested an enigmatic Wall Street wiz on insider-trading
; `- o9 X, O$ Y5 jcharges — and incredibly, he claims to be a time-traveler from the year 2256!
1 h- Q4 h& e/ [( z7 wSources at the Security and Exchange Commission confirm that 44-year-old Andrew Carlssin offered the
+ p) H) }4 e4 u. zbizarre explanation for his uncanny success in the stock market after being led off in handcuffs on January
% F' q( h1 i+ c28.
) p m, G( N! c- Q”We don’t believe this guy’s story — he’s either a lunatic or a pathological liar,” says an SEC insider.% {% [ f8 R0 d3 R$ A4 a$ ?
”But the fact is, with an initial investment of only $800, in two weeks’ time he had a portfolio valued at over" d J" F/ t0 F8 U' H7 y; g4 J
$350 million. Every trade he made capitalized on unexpected business developments, which simply can’t be/ H8 D8 c, ] l' h! T6 w
pure luck.
2 H* P+ h+ c0 ^. w7 Q”The only way he could pull it off is with illegal inside information. He’s going to sit in a jail cell on Rikers
- V6 ~8 T3 Z6 T+ W% _# I9 eIsland until he agrees to give up his sources.”
; o0 i" m' ~+ @The past year of nose-diving stock prices has left most investors crying in their beer. So when Carlssin1 p$ i6 f9 i9 ]# u4 ~, e
made a flurry of 126 high-risk trades and came out the winner every time, it raised the eyebrows of Wall$ ~; \$ X" K8 D4 ?- J4 ?
Street watchdogs.
% P) I8 n \3 ]# i" b”If a company’s stock rose due to a merger or technological breakthrough that was supposed to be secret,
; g& I) m0 }4 \) X' [2 AMr. Carlssin somehow knew about it in advance,” says the SEC source close to the hush-hush, ongoing- L& {- I: D5 g$ A
investigation.
4 X0 F4 N% o+ ?0 H S# J& S) ~) |When investigators hauled Carlssin in for questioning, they got more than they bargained for: A mindboggling
) T: S9 W8 G/ ^# h8 `four-hour confession.
, m T- ?/ K. O" O2 FCarlssin declared that he had traveled back in time from over 200 years in the future, when it is common% A: O2 G W: ~9 M4 s
knowledge that our era experienced one of the worst stock plunges in history. Yet anyone armed with5 j+ |+ W% ~# @$ |0 K
knowledge of the handful of stocks destined to go through the roof could make a fortune.5 d$ q9 k6 a' j! Q$ u) P. ~4 ]
”It was just too tempting to resist,” Carlssin allegedly said in his videotaped confession. “I had planned to
4 n6 e+ y0 j- n" K. @* i2 h! V q7 @' Xmake it look natural, you know, lose a little here and there so it doesn’t look too perfect. But I just got caught
_! W2 @4 [4 v+ Ain the moment.”. g! w& d/ Y; v. _0 x
In a bid for leniency, Carlssin has reportedly offered to divulge “historical facts” such as the whereabouts of; {" ?! \$ p% L/ F! H% }
Osama Bin Laden and a cure for AIDS.2 l& l3 I, P8 V# O- l
All he wants is to be allowed to return to the future in his “time craft.”
5 \; ~* X; Z$ t! n) H3 k, g; mHowever, he refuses to reveal the location of the machine or discuss how it works, supposedly out of fear0 N \5 s9 J* a% k% s
the technology could “fall into the wrong hands.” |
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