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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA2 d$ }: P( r" H% Z; Q
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! r; s1 V, p2 J$ h/ i 1. Bring your own house.
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/ U3 V, K+ \* k; U- o$ s" l 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
, W- }4 P$ T+ e) E6 F) _/ [hospital./ N1 y, [+ J; P8 w7 c, b# b
- Q K T: c1 ?! K5 f+ x& w/ o 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
3 e; H1 q; Q. N% Ecapital of Canada .7 s8 o0 m, q* q/ n a5 {
3 I3 a) P' A* Y) h 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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% K+ n/ U1 S! j8 S* i 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
/ v7 t$ I, n. o. m6 M( Z/ Tcapital of Canada .
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is7 Q) k; q8 Q7 _8 g* ~3 y. }. ^1 M
$8.00/hour.2 A: f+ p& _) S, _) N8 i
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.1 r* P {' O* P% Q- K
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money* L2 P; o7 n) y! h
on a 15 year holiday ?
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas8 p# u3 r* a0 K: Y& m3 e
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)8 D# u1 V6 A+ B- |
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
& ~! ~+ x0 d! W0 _! `4 l, s* Qhere sick.
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) p: T+ p( K( N5 b( O: F# A& g& `11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12# A: V( Z! y+ s* O7 U
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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4 C* B' u: b8 _- o2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
& y7 M4 h3 |% p# K+ u7 Zis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.; I: Z3 K% o# j3 F$ J
- s% O' _* P& l1 x4 p5 N3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
6 t" N( ]4 ~4 y: F' Nown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
' ~4 z& @4 h& U0 d* `3 xmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires5 `8 Z9 x2 \! \( y# y+ q. I
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
: P" y+ e( i5 m3 I: v( Ophone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
* P# b3 V' K& _cussed out, and possibly shot.7 H& ^4 _! Q" S3 o2 [; Z* X) C$ V
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
, X$ T' g7 ]: s0 fcan get you shot.8 C+ {. P H9 U) _, w, k
3 t, Z* ]6 E: o, @6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour" @1 u7 e: o2 a/ k$ m+ e
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next8 Y% c; l4 W; L! a: F! J
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and o+ v" G; P& S' N
more construction starts everyday.2 r& i2 q! E8 q2 ?+ i
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
* k8 J5 g4 K$ J- S# sdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
# B3 E. l! X6 E& ~% Tsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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: ]/ A6 ^ x1 _$ r) r8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all# @0 @% \0 b* j/ g( O4 e5 G
the same road.- r$ G1 ]) A9 S0 S- @/ t. {/ B/ k. Y
+ [6 d$ {5 o/ o, A9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
3 b. p6 ] k# ?3 e+ y& p) Oshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally* v8 ]% r4 ~$ O8 X
activated."
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
$ w S" g+ P+ u7 S9 L8 ezone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"# W* x; |9 m6 ] l* }
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.6 l7 i) W+ {* F' v
' @5 x! o- j. m# b; I* l0 _+ ^; U( G- p11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur4 U$ T, r# p$ R6 g% \
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and) H2 C+ z5 k3 F+ j
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is; @+ T+ R2 c2 @8 y
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
