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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA9 k: _4 x; H" \; ?; K, Q0 i
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5 V }2 M5 P$ h+ d 1. Bring your own house.% C/ K# U0 z3 {! U( k
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and4 }" x, n/ W x) Z- w+ Z9 J
hospital.5 s. K) Y1 _6 W ^# Y
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder; B5 ~# y$ |3 U
capital of Canada . E3 a' W) ?5 f8 ]: c9 J
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .' M3 z W* {8 C8 Q# r. J/ Z
/ e- @1 q$ [4 j4 j 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
" ]' I# H* l4 q+ H2 A1 l' n% Mcapital of Canada .
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
: j& s" Y6 V) v/ e$8.00/hour.1 f1 S' K m1 m. W4 Y
2 x3 n* D7 B- U. L/ T 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.$ |7 Q3 N/ W8 ]
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money( E& v$ [0 l7 k/ A3 A# N* {
on a 15 year holiday ?( U4 a: _( }* q, l( E7 K6 \' U
1 o- \! W7 z9 Q; Q6 Y5 p8 u6 e* o 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas6 n! p8 H- w9 [6 c1 N
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come' L% v- U H- z. Z
here sick.' a7 M: {( E2 i( k
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12+ D5 j. O {3 L5 i
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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M4 d7 W1 g$ L% G8 X( c THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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8 s+ D1 [) ~- \8 Z: `: X( _7 ?: [1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
( l8 l& E$ t& y8 }2 ~2 r/ R+ L: sis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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0 B; J$ e% T& n3 }' t3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its# Z; h8 t. `, }! l8 c7 i
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
( E1 ~: w6 h3 |4 t. Pmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
( m, |% v. Z5 f* ygo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
- l- f# s( O) |5 rphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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+ ?6 J y5 ?8 {7 p' |/ W( K4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
$ x. e' W7 m1 G0 |$ N1 U1 scussed out, and possibly shot., b' G$ E, L. }# k2 |4 ?
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
: U1 j* x0 W) A+ Y+ acan get you shot.
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8 ^" R6 {- z( E: N4 b! f6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
8 g1 a: }, b8 w ]7 {4 i/ kbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next. i& ?# X F6 [* g2 p
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
% S- _7 D: \- [! m5 ?+ Amore construction starts everyday./ i/ F+ I& U! H
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
3 H, I% K! A) M8 @2 ?deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
. H( t. J& K- |, r* O5 f; V9 asquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.# e+ E1 w: O# X/ Z+ b
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all/ N8 d7 T7 j0 y
the same road.
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5 m$ O. F( [3 ^9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the; _$ m5 Q+ _2 [$ h; U8 v( a$ W
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally. b/ F1 r* K( c
activated."/ A' f+ I$ n8 _% T
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km0 o+ t) k$ P2 b d
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off") c4 f* j& [8 T6 n5 Q
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
7 ?. [& G) d/ Slined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and6 Y! R0 Q, \5 H0 }/ N* m
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
. e1 j* D+ V/ K8 @virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
