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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA/ u4 k4 N3 F2 e; m: E4 B' c1 L' \
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1. Bring your own house.
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7 Q. N0 Y$ I4 n 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
& E. Z" X+ H$ F7 Chospital.
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$ m2 R3 B& g" L1 j( e' a 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
# ^" D2 S8 X" q# `# n8 J% wcapital of Canada .
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada . M. E3 d! `) b. N( a% o( u8 \2 P, N$ O
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug: i1 Q( l5 _2 F4 p" d* \; k7 E
capital of Canada .
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
4 m/ W, m4 M' w7 u% g$8.00/hour.' N5 x3 m! m* j4 A; J% T: m! `8 ?8 k
& {2 ^! O/ _% A/ g8 `3 j 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.# W, Y4 p! ]! \, y
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money$ a- }; @& x7 s4 C
on a 15 year holiday ?8 H4 ~! M4 Q# b8 \0 o' }# R
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
4 {/ n( }- z j j9 p0 v% D3 }prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
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4 S, U- n; g/ S; m: \4 \11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 122 d) a, m& J" F, I
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.1 e$ ]! j# I& w7 ]! S( K
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :' r2 L4 C, U. i' w& ~
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN "., Y: x3 Y" a) C7 c0 J: R+ ]
# v {7 \. m9 O1 G2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour' Y( E4 n4 ~ M" E7 k- h
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
) S3 }4 A( h2 ]: e9 c0 j; y, |own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest. \ W( e: ?, Q+ u, z, D9 q
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires( w2 S) v! ~9 x6 q( u& B3 J
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
5 p3 O. m5 [9 B9 b' [$ ^5 pphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way./ ~2 a; G4 o1 c" H. N2 H
/ G( Z+ @, W1 ]4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
* E+ j9 j0 p. S, zcussed out, and possibly shot.
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+ [( F. t1 |- B6 \5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
0 K# N5 w0 C, ~' ^can get you shot.9 v: L3 C4 i! @4 a+ G
: f( ^: z% _1 D' D6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour. _9 K1 S' s/ O
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
* K3 a* R7 }6 J, Mday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and$ h9 ?! k2 P( p" G
more construction starts everyday.
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
1 d, Q$ g' U f8 |- xdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,6 c- B1 E; `% u. e
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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" B# U! O4 }' x; P# J+ s8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all. Y$ H, O" \% ]9 u f
the same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the ]+ p/ e, H9 F+ b# [3 A
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km- {+ {' i. O& s: t a4 d
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"- e) T& J+ [' X- s) W6 ]
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
M* y/ ~! T" K- klined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
; ]( S/ d, l. N1 L: s/ ~9 O9 N) |blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
/ q0 m7 Q( w- x5 @+ O+ ?/ }; Ivirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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