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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA9 i+ ^# c, v* D! F' p
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1. Bring your own house.
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and! ^+ H6 `' P+ I
hospital.
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder9 T% q" r w; L! @; b# E
capital of Canada .
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .4 G) W, I6 F3 _) R$ R
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
5 @, T7 m6 y% jcapital of Canada .4 G! l9 P/ U, e0 I6 T/ ?( M
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is" ^3 l; c9 d7 C2 N7 w& x! G: G
$8.00/hour.
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money' t1 ]8 G" ]- M; a, K, C
on a 15 year holiday ?7 V( j4 n! P. P- K- z, s) U
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas- b# U3 g$ e' w3 G# p, C
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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( y, \2 f; t$ c9 A6 P: ~/ C9 s/ C10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
- S1 v1 s' {8 U/ ]$ j1 shere sick.
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
% @" u) ~! X6 C6 f! Y5 j. ^' \years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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0 K8 X& W1 M9 k2 [! x; { THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".( ~& }! c) N8 l7 `3 l8 J& G8 I2 S
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
" ~) _2 K9 N) Y& [+ Kis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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5 Y8 ~ @0 X7 z# |5 b# L' q3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its; W+ V* `- c7 \4 c! I7 Y6 ]
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
, p' N' `' H& E' V( Y) `/ vmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
3 r5 H: P w9 V& Pgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell% x7 P& x% [6 X: |' M1 W' J- ^
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.+ t `* N5 d; g1 n0 k" p' ?
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,, i5 Q3 T- P% L% }
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that& t' ?! U& i3 e+ \0 F* ?, h
can get you shot.
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
1 B1 F7 S$ c' `% j$ X1 J/ xbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next) X' \% L' P! d+ a
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
8 o7 L# y6 [ s" ?# m- t* A+ {- ymore construction starts everyday.
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
5 v. F/ h& o% Mdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
# O) U [) N" L$ Ssquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.8 ]! K3 r) U, I6 s+ C
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all2 [9 H" c; n% Z5 w/ Q/ \
the same road.
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# R3 a, _" r4 D5 q; j% S! [" U9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
9 q7 w; {& l9 t8 X5 W) `shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally) V& h/ b9 t R0 M/ A
activated."
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
4 G5 j2 n* \0 F" _/ wzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off". L- I% o1 j& ~: F! O( M# x! g: e/ T7 Z
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.+ B" _- `* g; u, T. F
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
0 o& R1 V3 c, O. z" i' x3 ilined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and, t* g1 I' F ?$ M- L
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is+ x" r- \- i2 @2 f* `. ]1 C
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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