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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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/ I% [- W0 P8 B: S2 D( N 1. Bring your own house.5 } l; y' f8 h) }; _) C3 ?
# I/ m5 H p9 D5 G# U 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
- a; x" X& T, Yhospital.
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6 M& e3 V# V: X 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder+ [, t9 \8 \% U9 ~4 A4 C0 ?
capital of Canada .
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: R/ z& d' E! p 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .7 ]- y' I4 z/ V& `$ w/ s
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug- [% v/ Q' m8 D0 T$ d
capital of Canada .
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`# @6 I# Y( [: {1 M( H 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is& q+ Q. p5 r9 W$ N% ^4 C; d
$8.00/hour.% `3 r2 g+ x: U
: F! i. N* W; |$ W2 e$ r+ ?0 b 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas; B/ x7 S6 W# d. ^
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)0 E0 T# V& ]( X4 j! j
2 j8 r- F8 W. ~( M10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
" O' `& O, z( H4 {: A5 C( Ihere sick.
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 122 c! `& X& R6 c: n. Y
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.4 D& ]* J& b$ m1 v
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :, _* d8 J7 P, N: U* r# t
! S) i q/ y) L; V/ o7 C1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".4 V( q/ t$ B$ I7 b* Q( l3 B
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour0 s) c+ ?: X* u& F% l1 A1 T! e
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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: L% o! J2 l+ ]: i. t' L9 `3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its7 B3 D' h9 H8 B- B! Q% t
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
/ ?% M% n0 a! K3 D4 umuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
; i1 b+ s1 N. m" `4 y% rgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
2 x9 O9 T2 F$ P# dphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.) F4 H* y% W8 X3 {- W! Y# [
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
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0 v; F) ^* ]' o P5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour6 j/ H' ~) E% O/ j$ k3 Q' L
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next2 B% V3 O% N7 j3 X6 ^- ?2 z
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
7 w' W, o% O% k [- N5 Umore construction starts everyday.
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,. T* K% P; { ~: H" U: H
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,, ^0 n" h$ t3 A/ o
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all" \3 ~7 q% X4 D2 m: J" T: Y
the same road.! N ~% z0 Q8 r1 h" V
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the; d Y( ]& j) P* k; i7 b# E
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally+ w7 U( ^2 }) q1 w
activated."# K# P. M5 l: |
+ P& r/ F+ N& w4 y9 M10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km" n. R0 x* C" s6 k
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"' N8 _/ R& p0 R3 }5 u7 }
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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2 I) X h0 B# c$ e4 Y8 R5 L11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur& a9 b) H7 R" v' Y# R2 m
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and+ A7 `+ R1 m$ `' X% k- X
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is" D& L3 {2 ?" `( x+ w! J, m# g
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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