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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA L0 c8 z' t. P& O+ ~
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4 S2 m# |$ S. T6 C 1. Bring your own house.
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and1 `3 L4 X. I7 W: @3 V
hospital.
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder, W) p2 U0 I: V+ X4 s
capital of Canada .
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4 w0 ^0 S8 Q3 E 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
7 R# K# c e5 [7 d0 tcapital of Canada ./ q+ k" M) H# D
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
+ r' I* G# n" n2 |7 s5 Z6 f: t$8.00/hour.
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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- F% H4 H& s8 t) ^: q9 m% @ 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
: y% ? v' f1 B3 c/ L0 bon a 15 year holiday ?: S1 K$ J: O: V7 f& |7 K
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas, y: i) T% z1 y+ b; i
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)4 d* ?$ [, _) O! H1 }
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
. e- s/ A2 n l& c9 K2 ayears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone., u3 [; u X) ?( ?4 a3 n9 V
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".6 [5 v7 N! l! Z9 h# y
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour6 y3 V. b( P3 J- k! U3 A7 O
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.4 v6 H2 J$ Y$ u& I( n4 Y( d+ ~
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its6 R; v, k/ X' C( W
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
" e9 q) @* s9 A: ?/ P4 Xmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires/ G3 I f, G4 M* `( h' T' X
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell. _1 Q! U8 }, U" U& H
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.+ i4 o2 C* {2 F( p( u6 f1 n
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
$ r) Y, o H# ^1 F2 ^cussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
9 Z5 J) b* \) G& z: |9 ycan get you shot.
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, y! H% f. n" A* x) y4 q1 y6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
2 ?- a3 B, h# s+ P. ]4 o3 [barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
2 U' H. G: }6 \( ~( k. I1 Fday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and- X: Q% e- o$ b( R
more construction starts everyday.' a4 G& P, m R7 i, b
) r- C+ a5 |% V! j. m 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
: T6 ~" o' U" E9 z7 F1 r! A4 ddeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage, F# F: G$ G2 V% Y5 |8 L& o
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.6 d# @( O5 O- H: h& F5 T: Y
- w" O- H9 g# S4 s. \8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all$ X! A5 E# I, W0 Z% C' z
the same road.0 Y# i6 G6 \! k/ j0 ^
T8 U9 n5 f: b; F4 x9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the, Y8 J0 R7 @' n- x' @! \# r
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally$ z6 }! c3 I6 k+ d+ G# \- |
activated.", y4 ?( q, n: B: \' `
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km( c8 p K7 ^9 f2 E1 Y
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
4 v, W5 j" E! G8 Maccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur& Y2 k/ t- z/ {
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and' o* {1 {) m7 R. d3 ?" B2 ~8 i
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
* e/ `; |0 r! E* s( H/ q& uvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
