送给要来或者打算要来EDMONTON，ALBERTA的朋友

acsm6

NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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' s) Z' M1 v8 p8 J 1. Bring your own house.
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
5 W; [$ @( ~: U# F) g# e8 U& `  C5 V" Khospital.

3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
capital of Canada .

4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .

5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
' E, T/ @) E" V2 G2 n7 k1 F3 wcapital of Canada .

6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
$8.00/hour.

  E2 s9 K3 J+ I) `, |: N 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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5 G+ E5 ^9 a: |- M9 O; e& i 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
on a 15 year holiday ?

9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
. ^7 ]' l1 a. m6 `6 x7 e9 Vprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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- |2 c# S9 {, f: z* ]) Q10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
4 p0 e0 W7 {" a4 There sick.

11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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& {5 b' C5 Y$ c1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".

  N- T7 w5 q7 N# Y& {9 ]% e% o2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
* P% g3 g% F# h/ ?/ A% P. C4 His from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
6 i; p$ D, L9 [0 h- u  [9 ]phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.

4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
can get you shot.
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; n* u; u4 F; k2 J- C4 I6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
) F+ p) A! v/ }day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
  o$ Z$ B, n* b/ I2 V( \3 U; ]  Xmore construction starts everyday.
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  7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
9 W1 n  @+ T- Ydeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
4 B& |- f* J4 Q! L3 y% i3 Y- qsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.

8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
; S, R9 x6 E* u5 o. y, E% \the same road.
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: `2 b' P; V( I6 }9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
  g: H& j1 ~, j: ]0 ^7 W, gshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
- Z) i0 g* s# }/ ~/ ]activated."
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0 p* v% U& J4 w* D2 v& x+ _. m10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
. _7 Y3 a$ F3 D; l# `zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.

3 u; d  N% w4 l11     . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
( V# U' Q/ \! z, Jlined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
) u3 Y# a8 _7 Y3 X: r' a8 Q' uvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw.

大头熊

; w' {/ N! H* X, I# {有点夸张。不过还是佩服生活在这的人，大部分人都活下来了。

kaleli

又是一个挨砖的帖子。

人生几何

紫光

西红柿酸

HOAH

朋友坐在一起聊天的时候，最怕有人带来公厕的味道，弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
# B6 w' }7 E6 T5 A& _9 c' v$ H满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜，其实大多数都一生一无所成，能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了，什么都屈才。
$ l$ s1 t0 d5 i有一个人，他骂了自己所在单位一辈子，由于长期持有一种心情，一种哀怨的表情，脸色都是土灰色的了，可就是没见他作出什么成就，已没有离开他的破单位，却大大煞了周围人生活的风景。

April

来自多伦多的朋友 忽悠 其他朋友 来爱民屯说 :

此地钱多, 人傻, 速来
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[ 本帖最后由 April 于 2007-10-11 22:12 编辑 ]

pacibridge

原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
  d3 B7 w( `7 M( ?3 R* w2 U朋友坐在一起聊天的时候，最怕有人带来公厕的味道，弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
- t' n% m3 L6 u1 n满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜，其实大多数都一生一无所成，能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了，什么都屈才。
...

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说事，谈话题，别攻击人。什么素质？整个一厕所。

上酸菜

是原创吗？楼主太有才了，佩服啊！！

宁宁宝宝

HOAH

原帖由 pacibridge 于 2007-10-11 22:20 发表

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说事，谈话题，别攻击人。什么素质？整个一厕所。

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' R- v- @! a9 P2 z+ v! o这么刺痛你了吗？

我可指的是极少数人，如果你不是，就别往自己身上想。

大头熊

原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候，最怕有人带来公厕的味道，弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
. V; o* v5 V+ \3 |; O满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜，其实大多数都一生一无所成，能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了，什么都屈才。
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你这样不太好吧！每个人都有抱怨的权力。对待不合理的现象大家都齐声颂扬，好象不是民主自由的加拿大的特点。
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再次申明我的观点，Edmonton是全世界最好的城市。

Yang123

埃德蒙顿, 是一个盛产冠军的城市! 能在埃德蒙顿扎根发展的人, 都是强者中的强者!

MyFairy

Please mark ZT when 分享 other people's 原创. Thanks.

lalah

就是一还“有点才”的调侃嘛。有些人干吗那么serious啊

兔宝宝

以前见过,这好像是西门莎菲大学的人写的(不敢肯定).不光EDMONTON,还有别的省,市.只是调侃.