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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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1. Bring your own house.$ _6 k% V" j: c$ w$ S! `& t
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
( z! a3 n; Z! Q7 a4 n2 R& t5 Rcapital of Canada .- R, Q( S0 y9 N6 A9 w* i1 V
0 x; D& T' I7 S* i1 | 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug0 G1 L$ ^0 r3 i2 i# S9 ?* ]8 }7 s
capital of Canada .
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# R/ u, R" A% F& J1 \. h 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is+ Y* a A F% W& v0 ^. h' \0 Y# J( |
$8.00/hour.
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, s* C; J7 b+ O5 ~3 T: i# \5 L 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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4 ^6 S/ l. K8 ^% t" t( e* ]1 V 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money% z ^3 B: s* V0 m1 I$ T/ R7 I
on a 15 year holiday ?
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas0 d1 B/ m6 ]) n( C' ]' D4 E
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage): F9 Q. G0 H f' i! ]
/ h7 p+ s/ t& x3 u10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
' s6 e! E( w$ N! ^here sick.
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
% u+ F9 T: I5 u4 Nyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.4 r% }9 W0 T h1 p
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# J- B- n2 w1 G1 `2 L THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :) M+ O# x8 o: B8 v, q |
, K* H, {% s: g1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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% f+ l' W) h7 ~! {- w1 D$ F2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
|* b' M! W% m @ his from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning." B3 L+ v! s2 {& D. T& j
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
e- v! B) L1 I# y: F4 h9 z' jown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
& l0 z* S# U* X# E. D8 Cmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires* @+ X) e6 M q2 a- d) _8 `2 v
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell s# x. F3 i- S% W
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,, o3 [/ g$ T( ^! m0 r5 f. N
cussed out, and possibly shot.4 w& u2 j/ y5 p' D. O* m
; a& w4 w3 @* b( U5 q5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
$ |* \* Q# S) L5 {: i9 \can get you shot.. y) }, a/ C4 }4 Q$ A0 P# j, r
$ c+ f% A( t6 W; [6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
) r5 v9 z' N! w) Sbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next- J9 ^( C% z$ B/ V, y& C+ _
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and2 k3 {$ q' P" V( g2 u
more construction starts everyday.
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,5 H- J) q. X' A5 C
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
$ `" g, j) ^# n! Qsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.6 D8 f; s6 ]* M
, A- T3 a# t0 s! q* x7 |, W& |8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
/ e. Q) {: D8 ?the same road.9 R5 R, @+ M& F }
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the+ c: |7 p. Q4 r7 b, \* r6 C1 V/ M
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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, R/ |( S/ F, |# e# M' ^10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
& m$ z+ Q0 M& w# Lzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
: W" c$ ^! F4 J) U9 \" Saccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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`0 n& `8 P+ ~5 K11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur2 `" `- d) G, ]3 h# C0 o
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
) a( H$ E% a7 Mblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
! d& g+ e; R/ Z- ]virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
