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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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, J& B! c X2 M6 J" G 1. Bring your own house.4 Z B' d7 J: I2 \+ y( }
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder X+ O6 _6 C( `9 Z! g4 E
capital of Canada .
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8 V5 y+ I8 n; \: F! O( f: y 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada . e+ ]& A7 l% k' W, F
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug9 b% Y( J+ b1 `+ C/ W! J
capital of Canada .
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1 L3 p4 N" U- e9 j& G5 }, d 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is, X" g1 o/ l( |" ]2 u: f5 ~" o H( P
$8.00/hour.) L% f: d5 o+ ?9 Z) k9 k! S: z7 H
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
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) Q8 x& [+ p3 N! W% Q 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
$ C* O( _6 L- @: u; \prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come$ Y: H0 r! j9 Y6 p
here sick.
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 120 L4 R" B( D* F' K6 o% e9 A
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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: y/ G% J9 ~, V- p0 c4 [2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
5 s! y6 v' p, p" Eis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.4 `# \3 G$ o8 w |8 e' j$ {/ y
/ c/ Z+ V+ @3 `6 ^, P3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
. i9 }5 e) U" a5 J# `; x' Oown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest( v) `/ v" s) U' _8 A( Q
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires- P: L4 s: {5 D( }7 x) ?- l8 f/ B
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
" O. X. A7 W" q+ P' k: aphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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+ B+ f3 k" i. I. l; ?4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended, U8 y% _6 c4 H7 {* R( w: T9 o% @
cussed out, and possibly shot.$ a6 Z2 ], b8 F9 e- B
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
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6 ~ Y; f& o7 n0 ^6 P2 H6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour; f6 R m* n+ z8 b$ J
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next: j4 p) v% x. s; _! N
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and: S& O3 R* _' K6 I% l: {: T- M3 E
more construction starts everyday.0 v& @" @$ U# C2 g4 M
0 |0 |$ _3 X# X 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
/ ^( l5 b- G5 S7 M# V% G) Xdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
0 k/ c# @! ?0 f$ J+ Nsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.. \9 U( x4 U1 e6 H) e& R! X
. k: m0 o" J$ R1 e z3 ?$ [8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all- S3 l- T2 {5 s9 M$ n, p; r7 g
the same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the- ]: m; P) H' i: c, [& }+ C
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally" B: C+ d$ n# p4 D! Y" U0 d
activated."
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
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accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot./ H# i1 u+ C# X
( k! s. [* M' I& l11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
- n& \; N1 E; y) \6 n, ]( v) dlined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
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" p! O; Z( ?$ Z- Q+ Cvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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