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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN BRITISH COLUMBIA
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! h1 f. [( i, ^2 L* p# z1. Vancouver: 1.5 million people and two bridges. You do the math.
% A9 `0 L& j/ N7 Q* H4 d2. Your $400,000 Vancouver home is just 5 hours from downtown.
% h# Q+ x+ e" |- C/ y3. You can throw a rock and hit three Starbucks locations.
/ u* a% s; V: @+ |4. There's always some sort of deforestation protest going on. V& u) l' ^2 F P7 \. ?3 h
5. Weed
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ALBERTA 9 f: {" v4 U8 X ^; ^& v
; r7 v1 w+ S5 b2 \/ }# Z4 \1. Big rock between you and B.C.
, [* C! B2 w: v5 C9 \2. Ottawa who? A5 `" o. H8 q& ^2 V! [
3. Tax is 6% instead of approximately 20% as it is for the rest of the country.
) F" j% e' p3 _! m' E' r4 |4 A& h2 v4. You can exploit almost any natural resource you can think of. ( ]% e* J c1 L3 C% W L4 i# ~
5. You live in the only province that could actually afford to be its own country.
E1 m2 E* s6 F* Z/ Z3 D6. The Americans below you are all in anti-government militia groups.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN SASKATCHEWAN 3 u9 E! Q8 I5 u# T( t9 M
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1. You never run out of wheat. - c. ]. S- o6 s8 W" U; O5 z
2. Your province is really easy to draw. ! e4 i! y9 P8 Y- z% H' R
3. You can watch the dog run away from home for hours.
) |+ V/ v% M+ p5 P% |% W% K1 |4. People will assume you live on a farm. . D A3 Q1 A5 V; H( w2 Y& \7 l' K; J
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN MANITOBA 8 D4 M8 G, v5 d
$ z. F) V# \' J! u1. You wake up one morning to find that you suddenly have a beachfront property. ( h" Z5 `2 O9 `$ a
2. Hundreds of huge, horribly frigid lakes. L' I4 E$ M+ F* A' K- P
3. Nothing compares to a wicked Winnipeg winter.
* M+ ^% x; }/ Z; Q3 J4. You can be an Easterner or a Westerner depending on your mood.
) X* r" `% n' E* ]5. You can pass the time watching trucks and barns float by. & C' R# X8 K* u: q
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ONTARIO
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# Q- o. y' z0 [. Z1. You live in the centre of the universe.
% n& @& h1 U4 c2. Your $400,000 Toronto home is actually a dump. , u+ n1 h c( o* N7 p6 j: @ @/ f
3. You and you alone decide who will win the federal election.
0 p6 s/ ?+ T' y1 ]$ _* B5 r1 \% k7 H& L4. The only province with hard-core American-style crime. / M0 {# \1 R& z, s' _
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN QUEBEC
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( C/ g& i1 j7 T# g. c, c1 n1. Racism is socially acceptable 0 e& @- S9 _$ Z/ q/ x, K, O
2. You can take bets with your friends on which English neighbour will move out next. - u" n2 j' i0 {9 G/ O
3. Other provinces basically bribe you to stay in Canada. , a8 p" h1 M* U: }
4. You can blame all your problems on the "Anglo *) g! ~& W! b% O0 W; k
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK " ]5 R0 ^$ P8 }- f2 F
" O& ^. \: b3 H, N) E7 Q' ^# {& e1. One way or another, the government gets 98% of your income. # A" C0 C( Y# H* r: @
2. You're poor, but not as poor as the Newfies. : F# l0 D( }4 k; k
3. No one ever blames anything on New Brunswick
/ p( I. T! V% V4 g; `/ I# P4. Everybody has a grandfather who runs a lighthouse. + ^; {: P# c6 H. j# C. [0 ?
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0 A7 U# E* p' b8 V9 Q+ y- @TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NOVA SCOTIA
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1. Everyone can play the fiddle. The ones who can't, think they can. 4 Q' A4 [, V! \! a* d+ e% V
2. You can pretend to have Scottish heritage as an excuse to get drunk and wear a kilt. % w' Y1 R/ B, d! J$ h8 r& c* z0 x Z
3. You are the only reason Anne Murray makes money. ! K) R1 I1 W3 D3 U+ ]4 i x
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' d ]0 }* j7 @1 b! Q9 a9 F. GTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN PRINCE EDWARD ISLAND
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1. Even though more people live on Vancouver Island, you still got the big, new bridge. 5 W/ e7 \- N# s8 j
2. You can walk across the province in half an hour.
* F7 P" S* N+ O( p ~! @3. You can drive across the province in two minutes. 0 Z7 S0 P1 w, l: H3 T# S) H
4. Everyone has been an extra on "Road to Avonlea."
2 J I+ A+ G" J( _/ ?0 L5. This is where all those tiny, red potatoes come from. - g% d4 G3 i, [ b6 m; n: `
6. You can confuse ships by turning your porch lights on and off at night. / g) } }; A% ~5 c' E. T
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEWFOUNDLAND
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% j7 k0 g6 {+ z1. If Quebec separates, you will float off to sea. i: E/ v5 E: \1 \6 P; g( G
2. If you do something stupid, you have a built-in excuse.
( ]$ I. N* k# Q. Y+ F6 ^3. The workday is about two hours long.
+ B B7 j9 v, l4 y, ?* o* k4. It is socially acceptable to wear your hip waders to your wedding |
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