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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN BRITISH COLUMBIA5 V, L: p! ]. q
% l& y% D" u( j1. Vancouver: 1.5 million people and two bridges. You do the math. 8 ]2 e( {5 d- E8 {" P$ a( \4 t
2. Your $400,000 Vancouver home is just 5 hours from downtown.
) J% ?$ s/ r- V3. You can throw a rock and hit three Starbucks locations.
2 Y- ]4 C% l4 ^9 M. ~4. There's always some sort of deforestation protest going on. * K e7 y; S P! p
5. Weed
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ALBERTA - |8 S: e: R! X$ a: [6 u
" [& o, V& T% U, W- X1. Big rock between you and B.C.
' l8 T% j/ D: c8 C2. Ottawa who?
: e7 \* U' S9 Y! i8 j6 q3. Tax is 6% instead of approximately 20% as it is for the rest of the country. ; ? S {# R3 G9 `, @) w/ F
4. You can exploit almost any natural resource you can think of.
8 d0 S2 ]1 |/ \0 L' J5. You live in the only province that could actually afford to be its own country. + u! M- R, ]- T+ }, _" g
6. The Americans below you are all in anti-government militia groups. 9 j) L5 k% G6 H
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+ I4 Y7 y, a% |TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN SASKATCHEWAN
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$ ]0 u6 L S$ @4 Q1. You never run out of wheat.
# f! r1 A" g& X2. Your province is really easy to draw. ! C t5 E" h# y1 A
3. You can watch the dog run away from home for hours.
" J) z8 k# X% ?3 R K& }& c& |4. People will assume you live on a farm.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN MANITOBA
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3 k: u2 q1 N0 b7 s/ z1. You wake up one morning to find that you suddenly have a beachfront property.
! }' q, h& j' o- [) j2. Hundreds of huge, horribly frigid lakes.
$ H9 j( R9 K0 u L3 `3. Nothing compares to a wicked Winnipeg winter. 3 X% Q/ y: i, n! o
4. You can be an Easterner or a Westerner depending on your mood. # ~+ j* q0 t7 h+ v
5. You can pass the time watching trucks and barns float by.
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" G1 J) E; z2 U1 }TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ONTARIO 1 F$ V J5 A% l; c& K( e
9 y) t+ K. f5 f1. You live in the centre of the universe. ' ]! O- f# i% f N, {
2. Your $400,000 Toronto home is actually a dump.
* R& j' r/ }. t3. You and you alone decide who will win the federal election. ( B. o* m/ g) Q/ U; Y+ P+ J
4. The only province with hard-core American-style crime.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN QUEBEC
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& ^$ Q, ?# A0 i( h1. Racism is socially acceptable
! ?4 N" G1 }) i: i9 v t/ g. E; M5 F2. You can take bets with your friends on which English neighbour will move out next.
! d( d/ ^' Z- J5 c# `0 O8 A3. Other provinces basically bribe you to stay in Canada.
_' t' s# K8 y# r0 ]4. You can blame all your problems on the "Anglo *" B/ w+ B1 K3 B, G
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK
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: {& D% T: Y. J: l/ aTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK ( V$ \2 Y x& a& ?3 G
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1. One way or another, the government gets 98% of your income. 3 V1 Z) v4 `" e
2. You're poor, but not as poor as the Newfies. , l% q# F% R1 Q I
3. No one ever blames anything on New Brunswick
! f, p, E/ z. V8 I4. Everybody has a grandfather who runs a lighthouse. 0 J6 {# h H8 T: U2 v8 X4 \4 c
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8 p* ?7 R. ~5 K8 m* g" vTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NOVA SCOTIA
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3 o8 w' V" M! K. R: c9 I1. Everyone can play the fiddle. The ones who can't, think they can.
/ i% p6 U/ J* x/ O9 E" O2. You can pretend to have Scottish heritage as an excuse to get drunk and wear a kilt. ; g v5 H, ~5 }0 k
3. You are the only reason Anne Murray makes money.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN PRINCE EDWARD ISLAND $ g/ P) ?2 ^( f) V1 ^7 Q, S% i# |, c; N
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1. Even though more people live on Vancouver Island, you still got the big, new bridge. # |) g% ~- q$ L: E1 c* N
2. You can walk across the province in half an hour. ; @# [* s) {* i6 h* E
3. You can drive across the province in two minutes. # A `! X# R. o/ p; Z3 R( U/ P
4. Everyone has been an extra on "Road to Avonlea."
9 k0 d0 ~ S: d7 Y/ ]5. This is where all those tiny, red potatoes come from. : `& ^# y( N5 Y6 N! l& S" `) N D1 {
6. You can confuse ships by turning your porch lights on and off at night.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEWFOUNDLAND " {$ x( c u' ?( G& r. }( G7 B
" K4 {! q' X. t& S3 B1. If Quebec separates, you will float off to sea.
1 V' J4 R# |" w$ q/ j& N; U2. If you do something stupid, you have a built-in excuse. 9 |; U9 Q) @5 o- ^" o# R3 y( n+ C) a
3. The workday is about two hours long.
% Q- ~0 ?/ }6 _- o4. It is socially acceptable to wear your hip waders to your wedding |
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