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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN BRITISH COLUMBIA
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1. Vancouver: 1.5 million people and two bridges. You do the math.
9 {2 w+ k0 G6 ~, T0 ?2. Your $400,000 Vancouver home is just 5 hours from downtown. ; _, }% o. T) Y" c; y! a
3. You can throw a rock and hit three Starbucks locations. 1 p; t; Q+ W) M0 s& c
4. There's always some sort of deforestation protest going on.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ALBERTA
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1. Big rock between you and B.C.
! A: \: `1 ? f' b# b2. Ottawa who?
$ j/ X4 w) x7 S" f/ ^$ f3. Tax is 6% instead of approximately 20% as it is for the rest of the country.
! A+ y6 I4 G5 N2 s+ `4. You can exploit almost any natural resource you can think of. ) A& j) [# R3 F9 s( d7 U. t$ b- ~
5. You live in the only province that could actually afford to be its own country. : X8 i) x1 d% d
6. The Americans below you are all in anti-government militia groups.
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* D/ k1 v. g) F7 X" a" DTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN SASKATCHEWAN + H8 P6 h6 K+ \* n) p
5 B7 ]) P# w0 Y8 s" x. l$ j1. You never run out of wheat. & O, v$ I7 j G, Z4 C
2. Your province is really easy to draw.
/ h: F3 p' H) V3. You can watch the dog run away from home for hours. ; Z& ]" F9 Y* `) b" z
4. People will assume you live on a farm.
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$ @6 X7 I$ C9 R2 @; r" E; d9 HTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN MANITOBA 8 x7 K9 [% c" y0 \
+ q5 S, V. M/ c1. You wake up one morning to find that you suddenly have a beachfront property.
( K# a9 \, Y+ R/ {! f7 S2. Hundreds of huge, horribly frigid lakes.
9 V! T) O6 g5 E" \3. Nothing compares to a wicked Winnipeg winter. ]+ V0 V. o7 w+ l8 P' R# U& f
4. You can be an Easterner or a Westerner depending on your mood.
1 d N$ m# a- C" ?" A5. You can pass the time watching trucks and barns float by. 0 Z& A; C5 O5 ^% z: W2 V% y
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" [! x* F6 i- F$ ^& L! QTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ONTARIO 3 h+ a4 D/ |3 L3 o3 \- w
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1. You live in the centre of the universe. 7 B8 J$ w7 X8 X& J8 f
2. Your $400,000 Toronto home is actually a dump. " \5 K- }! r2 j' @3 l3 k) O
3. You and you alone decide who will win the federal election. ( p6 L' l+ U' W4 [
4. The only province with hard-core American-style crime.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN QUEBEC 4 o) n* N h# N$ o/ w' w
7 U5 o7 e" O4 I4 M: F1. Racism is socially acceptable
3 }7 M/ `, {, f4 G" B+ K2. You can take bets with your friends on which English neighbour will move out next. ) a* x, r# l9 v' e- c
3. Other provinces basically bribe you to stay in Canada. ! E& p3 w! t7 b3 g
4. You can blame all your problems on the "Anglo *2 a, x; o+ ?: h: p& @
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK - }9 h' W; v! L N$ o" U+ _
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK
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1. One way or another, the government gets 98% of your income.
6 f: g$ k6 G: }. w2. You're poor, but not as poor as the Newfies. $ c) O) g7 ~. f7 v
3. No one ever blames anything on New Brunswick " @+ [) d: n T
4. Everybody has a grandfather who runs a lighthouse. / k6 p8 |+ q9 l" _
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1 ]8 j+ [; ]% q: D3 ^2 s S. JTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NOVA SCOTIA ' T3 T9 G7 w' U8 c5 b
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1. Everyone can play the fiddle. The ones who can't, think they can.
- e0 N# L1 T: P0 X2 z5 h5 w W2. You can pretend to have Scottish heritage as an excuse to get drunk and wear a kilt.
4 m* K9 h# R2 h, y3. You are the only reason Anne Murray makes money.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN PRINCE EDWARD ISLAND
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3 M; s$ {, x1 z$ y; X* I4 Z1. Even though more people live on Vancouver Island, you still got the big, new bridge.
# O3 d8 x2 a* c( Z! C2. You can walk across the province in half an hour.
: a/ G5 \. o* G n3. You can drive across the province in two minutes.
$ R3 N+ @/ I; M; W: |4. Everyone has been an extra on "Road to Avonlea." 2 Z5 X2 g9 f1 i# _. |" S" q8 b
5. This is where all those tiny, red potatoes come from. " Q* Q$ b" M4 W* {# G
6. You can confuse ships by turning your porch lights on and off at night.
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# Q( `! K' M+ s$ A* e& A7 \TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEWFOUNDLAND
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& W2 t5 ]5 S, d1. If Quebec separates, you will float off to sea.
7 f7 @, `' j6 N' H2 x M7 @5 Q2. If you do something stupid, you have a built-in excuse. 1 y8 B+ h& n; }" {( @& H
3. The workday is about two hours long.
, w0 ~- i0 G/ {; u5 `) ~6 f4. It is socially acceptable to wear your hip waders to your wedding |
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