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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN BRITISH COLUMBIA
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1. Vancouver: 1.5 million people and two bridges. You do the math.
; j0 `) u3 A: ]0 N2 I8 D3 D2. Your $400,000 Vancouver home is just 5 hours from downtown. 2 d- e0 A! G5 X; G
3. You can throw a rock and hit three Starbucks locations.
" ^9 t" y. I L5 b! n% }4. There's always some sort of deforestation protest going on. , b7 q. O3 c: n) u
5. Weed
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* f- z5 h- b i4 {% g3 ETOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ALBERTA
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0 \6 Q. }5 K! E5 e# v. g3 {1. Big rock between you and B.C. : |$ V" P+ {- [2 K% @0 q" G
2. Ottawa who?$ h& N5 I7 s8 U- U
3. Tax is 6% instead of approximately 20% as it is for the rest of the country.
% k1 e% {3 W; b0 X0 S, `) l4. You can exploit almost any natural resource you can think of. F' d" v* O# n+ U1 R( K0 `
5. You live in the only province that could actually afford to be its own country. 3 `7 L9 Y; N+ @2 k: R9 ]+ A- E
6. The Americans below you are all in anti-government militia groups.
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$ i3 h8 r X* g& PTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN SASKATCHEWAN
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1. You never run out of wheat.
8 x+ V. n" L% a; S6 ]3 r2. Your province is really easy to draw.
; e! U* s. D8 f4 U9 l7 X' X3. You can watch the dog run away from home for hours. ! Y- e& e. t! m7 s% L
4. People will assume you live on a farm. " @ I- q( {& C) c! j
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN MANITOBA # ]: _, B4 f2 q. @
0 p# b+ X0 C& F3 G/ s7 i# B1. You wake up one morning to find that you suddenly have a beachfront property. , Y% u" [. j9 d9 }* x5 {' P4 Z. v
2. Hundreds of huge, horribly frigid lakes.
( L$ N: J2 U3 B9 I3. Nothing compares to a wicked Winnipeg winter.
1 h/ h9 C/ E/ q- t6 ~; r+ _9 u4 }% t4. You can be an Easterner or a Westerner depending on your mood. # s" D1 T3 u; s' }, `
5. You can pass the time watching trucks and barns float by.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ONTARIO + O: K u7 \ G: J0 w h; L( m
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1. You live in the centre of the universe.
4 N( q! L# C$ K# P# m, \' O0 L2. Your $400,000 Toronto home is actually a dump. % Z9 c/ F/ p7 I5 ~3 m* P) b
3. You and you alone decide who will win the federal election. $ A" c* e6 Y5 y% E9 F
4. The only province with hard-core American-style crime.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN QUEBEC
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1. Racism is socially acceptable
7 ]0 D. C$ D1 d k) i4 _) H4 y( l0 \2. You can take bets with your friends on which English neighbour will move out next. 1 J; t/ W+ e) x4 ?8 m1 I
3. Other provinces basically bribe you to stay in Canada. * h+ }0 Y6 _# p+ X3 k
4. You can blame all your problems on the "Anglo *1 c5 j. b0 D; `7 u
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK 5 T. G! p( v+ p3 T/ J0 V* y
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK 6 {; {0 T: T1 ]/ r, C9 E2 I2 G
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1. One way or another, the government gets 98% of your income. ! w) r6 T. k" i- J
2. You're poor, but not as poor as the Newfies.
- p1 F' S4 q/ | ~3 T# @3. No one ever blames anything on New Brunswick 3 X- J3 a$ R0 \7 J' t
4. Everybody has a grandfather who runs a lighthouse. 3 O5 o O- b7 p. ?+ r+ c: m5 L9 q& ]
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NOVA SCOTIA
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1. Everyone can play the fiddle. The ones who can't, think they can. / `9 K2 [- ~4 y
2. You can pretend to have Scottish heritage as an excuse to get drunk and wear a kilt. ) b) o" b- o8 Y% v
3. You are the only reason Anne Murray makes money.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN PRINCE EDWARD ISLAND
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1. Even though more people live on Vancouver Island, you still got the big, new bridge. ( B7 r' E; U/ l; U& C( z3 m
2. You can walk across the province in half an hour. ' k% s7 Q: F5 }5 n
3. You can drive across the province in two minutes. " o4 h( p+ G1 ^7 u. M
4. Everyone has been an extra on "Road to Avonlea." 8 C1 S; L3 N) W
5. This is where all those tiny, red potatoes come from.
! J% D/ _9 p4 h6. You can confuse ships by turning your porch lights on and off at night. " w2 Y$ B0 p2 [/ j$ D" s4 _ P I+ t
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEWFOUNDLAND ! C" I7 \- p5 g+ r
$ q7 E1 V1 D3 i' H: Y" K3 }1. If Quebec separates, you will float off to sea. , u0 y. x/ B; b, G# Y+ H
2. If you do something stupid, you have a built-in excuse. 4 \: V, f# p# _2 j) l/ L9 i5 Z
3. The workday is about two hours long. ; W1 Q% H4 ?. K5 t! b% I# @* m$ @
4. It is socially acceptable to wear your hip waders to your wedding |
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