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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN BRITISH COLUMBIA6 z: ?" m; K# R! p
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1. Vancouver: 1.5 million people and two bridges. You do the math.
* ^- \8 c* \. l: D o2. Your $400,000 Vancouver home is just 5 hours from downtown.
" _$ Y: ]2 ~1 |: y3. You can throw a rock and hit three Starbucks locations. + ^( ?: x. _ k4 g3 H; I1 }; @
4. There's always some sort of deforestation protest going on.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ALBERTA
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1. Big rock between you and B.C.
, n0 ?* J+ y R& p/ L2. Ottawa who?
6 E6 o, U! o; Q2 c3. Tax is 6% instead of approximately 20% as it is for the rest of the country.
- }: }) b7 ?) R) A1 H8 U( l4. You can exploit almost any natural resource you can think of.
5 A9 N; }5 F, H( m4 m) i; r8 y7 a5. You live in the only province that could actually afford to be its own country.
1 Q w! H4 p: k6. The Americans below you are all in anti-government militia groups.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN SASKATCHEWAN
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1. You never run out of wheat.
& j( p* I* B0 }6 f4 `8 X/ ^2. Your province is really easy to draw.
1 U; A+ E8 j* |3. You can watch the dog run away from home for hours.
+ G# I" K4 X5 @; Y" M" Q4. People will assume you live on a farm.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN MANITOBA
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1. You wake up one morning to find that you suddenly have a beachfront property.
: A$ D z# a. m2. Hundreds of huge, horribly frigid lakes. * |' Q' G% g) V6 }- D. U. q& j
3. Nothing compares to a wicked Winnipeg winter. 8 K r/ f9 K# p5 `% d8 s8 p
4. You can be an Easterner or a Westerner depending on your mood.
" g. ~6 n' C- G/ t1 G; {' p5. You can pass the time watching trucks and barns float by.
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! x' j! N( ]# u3 fTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ONTARIO
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% ^) a5 X7 j& O; C) P% y1. You live in the centre of the universe. & i( E, G& s( r9 c
2. Your $400,000 Toronto home is actually a dump.
# e) I" \( d! x, \. @3. You and you alone decide who will win the federal election.
) }6 Z9 W) s, o+ L4 ~4 w6 ?4. The only province with hard-core American-style crime.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN QUEBEC 8 g2 S/ O+ ~7 ?, [
, j R% X Y( ~1. Racism is socially acceptable % `% `5 s. s- r; y
2. You can take bets with your friends on which English neighbour will move out next.
: o$ {, H2 y) c7 c3. Other provinces basically bribe you to stay in Canada. . ^6 G1 T( D9 q. j5 c: }
4. You can blame all your problems on the "Anglo *4 I. g- p1 V6 G9 b
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK $ _# ]- G$ ? b& r/ z- ^
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK
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1. One way or another, the government gets 98% of your income.
( K1 o& I) E6 L5 _8 J! V* P2. You're poor, but not as poor as the Newfies.
. G7 g/ F: O* u( _1 w4 ?' x3. No one ever blames anything on New Brunswick
4 Z! S0 u! O! y9 h! U5 a6 n4. Everybody has a grandfather who runs a lighthouse.
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+ ^, }3 \. U! A% |; _" f5 {TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NOVA SCOTIA
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1. Everyone can play the fiddle. The ones who can't, think they can. . l) M% }0 T% U
2. You can pretend to have Scottish heritage as an excuse to get drunk and wear a kilt. + E u8 u% H! b# G% D2 {
3. You are the only reason Anne Murray makes money.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN PRINCE EDWARD ISLAND , ]4 m! m3 G# I1 k1 M( }
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1. Even though more people live on Vancouver Island, you still got the big, new bridge.
1 F' j+ V6 d% b* _2. You can walk across the province in half an hour.
* x* b3 Q. v( X; c) ?$ }3. You can drive across the province in two minutes. 3 P6 Y' b! m- n% y5 V& `. X
4. Everyone has been an extra on "Road to Avonlea." 0 s( u" C$ R/ m
5. This is where all those tiny, red potatoes come from. / `2 K; |8 w% U5 T: B+ X
6. You can confuse ships by turning your porch lights on and off at night. + V8 e3 S' L4 x) o0 m4 a
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEWFOUNDLAND
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1. If Quebec separates, you will float off to sea.
" Y4 y) J/ J" q% s1 U. C+ b' }2. If you do something stupid, you have a built-in excuse.
% V5 D# d! v. l# P8 l: r, i# K3. The workday is about two hours long. 7 B+ X# c) h* |& l/ p( J
4. It is socially acceptable to wear your hip waders to your wedding |
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