 鲜花( 634)  鸡蛋( 5)
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Originally posted by shuishijie at 2005-6-24 12:15 PM:
* B( D; y$ f2 P% zi sense a little tension here . R: o: e& ]* n
sorry, i didn't mean you by 'you' which is a general reference.
" q) L# G0 M% Tback to our discussion, you are absolutely right.% Q: `0 d! Z; j
if she/he 有那金刚钻, ie. intelligence and self-control, then she/he 就能揽这瓷器活儿." I6 B3 }& Q3 k1 c. q! P
Furthermore, if she/he cheated and is able to hide it for the rest of her/his life, then she/he has to bear with the guilty for the rest of her/his life.
( I' V- K, p# `, z% U2 |; xIf both cheated and can face it very well, then both of them will be worried if the other will cheat again.; m7 W0 G9 B9 u `- R
If both are not worried about the other cheating, then is this a marriage you want?0 U( I s% D% A7 i L& y0 M1 q0 }1 M
Not mean you here 6 ^3 Q, V9 N. T, _
' l2 @/ Z! y' t1 P! }7 D没有没有,没有任何敌意, 随便聊天。
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其实我只是说一种可能性,并没有道德评价,或者人身安插。6 m5 z. b' ^ r0 k" L
" r3 E e9 u) t0 v O" z: S你后面的三种情形,不同的人,不同的情商,不同的原则,处理情况也不同,有的一样可以花好月圆,有的则是一团乱麻。所以我说的“金刚钻“的比喻,是说没有大家都搞定的本事(搞定情人老婆劳工和自己),就别冒险。6 L" _$ O L. [; ?5 h5 r
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比如前几天看到杂志里谈到“处理婚外恋“说得好,向你的伴侣坦白之前,先想一想,如果你只是想摆脱guilty感觉,那么向伴侣坦白,等于把自己的负担转移给你的伴侣而已,对你的婚姻毫无好处,那么不如跟心理医生讲述。除非这次婚外行为有性疾病的可能,你需要带你的伴侣去就医。所以还是说呢, if you can not take the heat, get out of the kitchen.
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我本人对夫妻远距离生存,各找临时情人,是持理解通融的态度的。我并不羡慕那些多年分离还守身如玉的夫妻。当然我也崇尚夫妻的忠诚,所以我更希望的是常相厮守。 |
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