In the garden of my heart

Dawson

听《All I want to do...》有感，涂鸦了这首小诗。见笑，见笑！

& w. }, y+ @4 J! ]In the garden of my heart
+ ]& i3 {$ k7 B; FYou planted a tree
' V9 H6 q9 `8 h$ s2 U% fFrom sunset til dawn
0 Q' W8 b$ @" l" Z+ M0 vThrough darkness to light
Nourished with my soul
Devoured my sorrow by thee

& ]5 ?9 r5 U. |. R& N7 e" lIn the memory of my life
2 B$ }0 m2 G+ w5 GYou planted a dream
9 ]) T; k; p3 U5 `; bShould the sky fall down on me
May promises fade in the sea
Sewing back every broken pieces
6 {5 e4 |1 i+ m! C7 @" Z. _* QBursting the love out of me

[mu]http://penguin.spss.sd59.bc.ca/~mqiu/images/without.mp3[/mu]

云山水月

原帖由 Dawson 于 2006-6-25 01:05 发表
- @( \7 Q' W$ d3 j6 p$ s' ?+ ]9 W听《All I want to do...》有感，涂鸦了这首小诗。见笑，见笑！

8 m6 E( d/ P. ~0 w/ y6 [' q7 `In the garden of my heart
5 z% o+ A1 X! x+ w! p' HYou planted a tree
From sunset til dawn
Through darkness to light
Nourished with my soul
Devoured my so ...

: q/ }6 v7 f' `5 s
眼没花哈。。。第一首本版的英文诗吧？
% c2 |* f( T6 ?5 J6 |5 s) i7 R
7 x2 g4 ?* n& z% z) b! t! t写得真好。

加精加精！

Greatwall

哥们儿，你没喝多吧？没事就过来烧烟啊！

九月

汗！居然有２单词不认识。：（

Justing

原帖由 云山水月 于 2006-6-25 01:08 发表
眼没花哈。。。第一首本版的英文诗吧？
$ b3 }' M) i8 h; u) ?8 N写得真好。
6 M" s, ~3 W, r; P加精加精！

# m- x& m0 p- c- @( e1 e2 Q我曾在本版也发过一首英文诗

五月

如果能谱上曲, 夕阳西下，在海天相接的海边, 轻抚吉他浅唱, 定是首动人的心曲。

微澜

原帖由 五月 于 2006-6-25 05:31 发表
6 N0 k0 R- b; K& I# {+ y" a* ?如果能谱上曲, 夕阳西下，在海天相接的海边, 轻抚吉他浅唱, 定是首动人的心曲。

! e% I/ x' U$ b. g) h* Q9 R五月JJ这个意境，想想实在是罗曼蒂克，不过在爱屯，海天相接是没有了，只有在湖畔雪山了：）

朱顺顺

Should the sky fall down on me--- leave out "down", as is  no good here.

Sewing back every broken pieces--- every broken piece, or all broken pieces.

Dawson

原帖由 红岫添乱 于 2006-6-29 11:06 发表
9 |+ Y7 s4 l8 E# o$ e2 dShould the sky fall down on me--- leave out "down", as is  no good here.
+ A( Z& Q; t; y
& I$ K  B9 D4 z+ H# p) L& aSewing back every broken pieces--- every broken piece, or all broken pieces.

  F3 n7 E0 ], x( }' ~9 j
Thanks for your insightful comment, however I have to disagree with what you said.

+ A& l0 j2 N( u0 B5 h/ Z1) Sky falls down on sb. is a very common phrase or idom that's been used in a lot of occasions, meaning end of the world. For example, it was used in Savage Garden's song "truly deeply madly".

2) Every broken pieces, hmmm, again broken pieces is a phrase, I know grammar wise it looks awkard, but that "S" at the end puts a nice rythem to the poem.

月光宝盒

红岫添乱 这喜滋滋的头像虽很农民，但很喜气！很有乐在其中的意境啊！

FCUK

thee 和you, 好像没有同时用的吧。
) R/ Z$ @3 k! }( b. m8 w- I& O, j
/ u) b/ I/ s# ~# OShall I compare thee to a Summer's day?

五月

原帖由 FCUK 于 2006-7-2 10:50 发表
1 H4 V0 d* m8 p6 u8 W3 n; hthee 和you, 好像没有同时用的吧。

, k  |& E$ Y5 v0 `# X% `Shall I compare thee to a Summer's day?

' R! S( @0 M# ^4 F, n诗歌, 重在意境和语感, 没有那么严格教条的语法要求吧.

Dawson

原帖由 FCUK 于 2006-7-2 10:50 发表
1 d) H: h: Y. E  n0 X5 y5 D0 _thee 和you, 好像没有同时用的吧。

Shall I compare thee to a Summer's day?

有啊，有很多经典的例子。

! R8 u; w1 q3 Y$ x* \+ P. ?比如Sharon A. Bryington那首著名的《While Waiting For Thee》
  u8 e; O" G* D- ~$ p1 P' ^
' Y+ R+ N, u1 {9 t- h! p7 XDon't weep at my grave
For I am not there,
I've a date with a butterfly
To dance on the air.
If I'm missed, find a flower,
I'll be there too,
Sniffing it's fragrance
Right next to you.
" ?/ A" t/ k9 m9 ^
' X! b4 A5 a9 j4 o; uDon't be sad
When you remember me,
For I'm singing in the sunshine,
Wild and free,
( h$ ^) d  I7 D3 `& m4 E5 {, fFlirting with the lighting,
Playing tag with the wind,
Chasing the thunder
: T6 D( l) S* X. }7 E% j2 U) U0 pTime and again,
Soaring with the eagle,
Swimming in the sea,
Enjoying all of nature
While I'm waiting for thee.