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In the garden of my heart

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发表于 2006-6-25 01:05 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
听《All I want to do...》有感,涂鸦了这首小诗。见笑,见笑!$ e, @+ ^9 Y0 N& I* D! o
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In the garden of my heart* a  C* V/ x0 m+ J( u; T
You planted a tree' J2 V9 h/ y$ q0 B
From sunset til dawn% C5 |" m2 K" F+ O# w  ?
Through darkness to light( j# r  W1 Y; |# u
Nourished with my soul4 Q( j' a7 X4 X- L
Devoured my sorrow by thee
3 F- N2 O  I, ?! R
1 K6 P" G3 D! X, mIn the memory of my life
0 e- a. G. Z, J7 P, XYou planted a dream4 |5 _8 i- I- _2 A' ?8 m
Should the sky fall down on me; [% i' l* L$ ~3 o% g, V
May promises fade in the sea' \5 s4 K1 O: s; W& ^
Sewing back every broken pieces% J& L9 X0 P6 p/ [9 l$ h
Bursting the love out of me
% v8 c7 d/ c- a5 z" R, }7 `- U0 B$ c  s( l
[mu]http://penguin.spss.sd59.bc.ca/~mqiu/images/without.mp3[/mu]
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发表于 2006-6-25 01:08 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 Dawson 于 2006-6-25 01:05 发表
1 f1 R2 Y6 m- W0 H, |$ ?听《All I want to do...》有感,涂鸦了这首小诗。见笑,见笑!
$ h. D) X$ P5 v/ d, a" S
7 m) \% H2 J3 W0 [( ~) T. nIn the garden of my heart! h# {; s* Y' j8 {% r3 f
You planted a tree
4 h8 h( N) S; bFrom sunset til dawn
% v1 J$ s9 c. S7 E$ I6 ~Through darkness to light$ N8 c# b8 ]5 \% p" D0 ^/ j; B( t
Nourished with my soul
' b4 @& U2 `/ ~( @! \$ p- oDevoured my so ...

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" ?2 l; [  b4 j* F6 _眼没花哈。。。第一首本版的英文诗吧?; I  D: U0 p4 S7 A

/ H+ W! V' f' u1 F2 \- W2 {写得真好。/ X$ X5 A9 Y0 w) `3 G. `. q$ W
1 e3 i2 H; }; l& }& }
加精加精!
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发表于 2006-6-25 01:20 | 显示全部楼层
哥们儿,你没喝多吧?没事就过来烧烟啊!
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发表于 2006-6-25 01:26 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
汗!居然有2单词不认识。:(
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发表于 2006-6-25 03:41 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 云山水月 于 2006-6-25 01:08 发表0 f& C2 M, m. p' K
眼没花哈。。。第一首本版的英文诗吧?$ d4 N& s7 n, _7 S
写得真好。
  T7 @: c; S& ]5 V加精加精!
  b4 P. V' R) q/ _" e
我曾在本版也发过一首英文诗
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发表于 2006-6-25 05:31 | 显示全部楼层
如果能谱上曲, 夕阳西下,在海天相接的海边, 轻抚吉他浅唱, 定是首动人的心曲。
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发表于 2006-6-29 09:57 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
原帖由 五月 于 2006-6-25 05:31 发表
# t6 N' k- ?- C  h* m: n如果能谱上曲, 夕阳西下,在海天相接的海边, 轻抚吉他浅唱, 定是首动人的心曲。
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五月JJ这个意境,想想实在是罗曼蒂克,不过在爱屯,海天相接是没有了,只有在湖畔雪山了:)
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发表于 2006-6-29 11:06 | 显示全部楼层
Should the sky fall down on me--- leave out "down", as is  no good here.2 `- R' \' s2 M6 c! q* B

3 l- }# l2 s/ |0 v& h8 l4 {Sewing back every broken pieces--- every broken piece, or all broken pieces.
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 楼主| 发表于 2006-6-29 18:23 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
原帖由 红岫添乱 于 2006-6-29 11:06 发表
2 O4 o4 n2 W2 S7 G, W8 n, o1 @Should the sky fall down on me--- leave out "down", as is  no good here.
  ?+ Z0 ^8 `$ t  a
2 N5 A3 }- O: q. v9 c( ]' KSewing back every broken pieces--- every broken piece, or all broken pieces.
5 A7 W& O6 [: P* m3 ]
3 q& L! n7 c! D& e) c! G3 b9 ?
Thanks for your insightful comment, however I have to disagree with what you said.+ O! @0 ^$ J2 O/ a( G7 \  t' J
5 s- a& V: S9 F
1) Sky falls down on sb. is a very common phrase or idom that's been used in a lot of occasions, meaning end of the world. For example, it was used in Savage Garden's song "truly deeply madly".
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2) Every broken pieces, hmmm, again broken pieces is a phrase, I know grammar wise it looks awkard, but that "S" at the end puts a nice rythem to the poem.
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发表于 2006-6-30 01:17 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
红岫添乱 这喜滋滋的头像虽很农民,但很喜气!很有乐在其中的意境啊!
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发表于 2006-7-2 10:50 | 显示全部楼层
thee 和you, 好像没有同时用的吧。
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Shall I compare thee to a Summer's day?
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发表于 2006-7-2 13:50 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 FCUK 于 2006-7-2 10:50 发表# J- T* s9 h( ~: S3 e
thee 和you, 好像没有同时用的吧。. G5 s  ]$ `! a; v8 m
& V/ S) Y9 {% v1 m' h
Shall I compare thee to a Summer's day?
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$ L* N# Y6 F3 z  u+ m6 h% q
诗歌, 重在意境和语感, 没有那么严格教条的语法要求吧.
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 楼主| 发表于 2006-7-2 13:56 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
原帖由 FCUK 于 2006-7-2 10:50 发表
4 w- @3 I8 X! q$ Ethee 和you, 好像没有同时用的吧。2 R: {; s3 E5 y5 G
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Shall I compare thee to a Summer's day?

% x, J1 z  Q) Y* K: Q$ L, Y8 n' {( j4 ?) X  M- q! Z9 ^
有啊,有很多经典的例子。
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比如Sharon A. Bryington那首著名的《While Waiting For Thee》2 }& w9 W/ q$ V" f+ H0 |; W

5 M4 R/ U7 N% ]4 ^( M, _3 T4 rDon't weep at my grave5 X% ^- l" U8 Y0 I
For I am not there,$ M9 p$ ^; i0 E! S4 A6 o) Z5 M9 ^+ _
I've a date with a butterfly5 X# o$ W& d; n5 ^  u
To dance on the air.
. C4 ^  Y+ C' O' x6 {If I'm missed, find a flower,  U1 ^, I/ c# U5 J- O7 F6 @  T& J
I'll be there too,- e" k' H# ]! Y% r$ Q/ Q( G: i
Sniffing it's fragrance
- r7 h! N) t: D8 X; ?0 U( h( i# cRight next to you.
1 n2 \. U6 o# L7 {3 N$ P- k7 m, P4 b
Don't be sad7 O2 |8 d! {/ H
When you remember me,
9 N6 F& y; I/ FFor I'm singing in the sunshine,
) _9 ?  x8 j6 P9 }Wild and free,
) }4 w, X7 ?( ]" F7 JFlirting with the lighting,) W* X7 A1 I9 n' ^* e4 Q5 ^6 H
Playing tag with the wind,& `4 f4 Z; ^$ ?& s7 s+ G
Chasing the thunder
. o; t# }" m  \+ ETime and again,
, T1 \0 z4 Z2 tSoaring with the eagle,, k* Q" K  q) f2 A' j5 q
Swimming in the sea,& ?; y7 i0 F! i7 k& ^3 {2 G1 X
Enjoying all of nature, Q5 ^2 e/ I/ s1 i& s: D
While I'm waiting for thee.
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