In the garden of my heart

Dawson

听《All I want to do...》有感，涂鸦了这首小诗。见笑，见笑！

In the garden of my heart
You planted a tree
From sunset til dawn
Through darkness to light
Nourished with my soul
Devoured my sorrow by thee
3 F- N2 O  I, ?! R
1 K6 P" G3 D! X, mIn the memory of my life
0 e- a. G. Z, J7 P, XYou planted a dream
Should the sky fall down on me
May promises fade in the sea
Sewing back every broken pieces
Bursting the love out of me
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[mu]http://penguin.spss.sd59.bc.ca/~mqiu/images/without.mp3[/mu]

云山水月

原帖由 Dawson 于 2006-6-25 01:05 发表
1 f1 R2 Y6 m- W0 H, |$ ?听《All I want to do...》有感，涂鸦了这首小诗。见笑，见笑！
$ h. D) X$ P5 v/ d, a" S
7 m) \% H2 J3 W0 [( ~) T. nIn the garden of my heart
You planted a tree
4 h8 h( N) S; bFrom sunset til dawn
% v1 J$ s9 c. S7 E$ I6 ~Through darkness to light
Nourished with my soul
' b4 @& U2 `/ ~( @! \$ p- oDevoured my so ...

/ ?0 A& g" C, Q$ u
" ?2 l; [  b4 j* F6 _眼没花哈。。。第一首本版的英文诗吧？

/ H+ W! V' f' u1 F2 \- W2 {写得真好。

加精加精！

Greatwall

哥们儿，你没喝多吧？没事就过来烧烟啊！

九月

汗！居然有２单词不认识。：（

Justing

原帖由 云山水月 于 2006-6-25 01:08 发表
眼没花哈。。。第一首本版的英文诗吧？
写得真好。
  T7 @: c; S& ]5 V加精加精！

我曾在本版也发过一首英文诗

五月

如果能谱上曲, 夕阳西下，在海天相接的海边, 轻抚吉他浅唱, 定是首动人的心曲。

微澜

原帖由 五月 于 2006-6-25 05:31 发表
# t6 N' k- ?- C  h* m: n如果能谱上曲, 夕阳西下，在海天相接的海边, 轻抚吉他浅唱, 定是首动人的心曲。

五月JJ这个意境，想想实在是罗曼蒂克，不过在爱屯，海天相接是没有了，只有在湖畔雪山了：）

朱顺顺

Should the sky fall down on me--- leave out "down", as is  no good here.

3 l- }# l2 s/ |0 v& h8 l4 {Sewing back every broken pieces--- every broken piece, or all broken pieces.

Dawson

原帖由 红岫添乱 于 2006-6-29 11:06 发表
2 O4 o4 n2 W2 S7 G, W8 n, o1 @Should the sky fall down on me--- leave out "down", as is  no good here.
  ?+ Z0 ^8 `$ t  a
2 N5 A3 }- O: q. v9 c( ]' KSewing back every broken pieces--- every broken piece, or all broken pieces.

Thanks for your insightful comment, however I have to disagree with what you said.

1) Sky falls down on sb. is a very common phrase or idom that's been used in a lot of occasions, meaning end of the world. For example, it was used in Savage Garden's song "truly deeply madly".
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2) Every broken pieces, hmmm, again broken pieces is a phrase, I know grammar wise it looks awkard, but that "S" at the end puts a nice rythem to the poem.

月光宝盒

红岫添乱 这喜滋滋的头像虽很农民，但很喜气！很有乐在其中的意境啊！

FCUK

thee 和you, 好像没有同时用的吧。
  A) m2 e+ j/ `' s/ e. b
Shall I compare thee to a Summer's day?

五月

原帖由 FCUK 于 2006-7-2 10:50 发表
thee 和you, 好像没有同时用的吧。

Shall I compare thee to a Summer's day?

诗歌, 重在意境和语感, 没有那么严格教条的语法要求吧.

Dawson

原帖由 FCUK 于 2006-7-2 10:50 发表
4 w- @3 I8 X! q$ Ethee 和you, 好像没有同时用的吧。

Shall I compare thee to a Summer's day?

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有啊，有很多经典的例子。
, i  a; F6 [) V
比如Sharon A. Bryington那首著名的《While Waiting For Thee》

5 M4 R/ U7 N% ]4 ^( M, _3 T4 rDon't weep at my grave
For I am not there,
I've a date with a butterfly
To dance on the air.
. C4 ^  Y+ C' O' x6 {If I'm missed, find a flower,
I'll be there too,
Sniffing it's fragrance
- r7 h! N) t: D8 X; ?0 U( h( i# cRight next to you.
1 n2 \. U6 o# L7 {
Don't be sad
When you remember me,
9 N6 F& y; I/ FFor I'm singing in the sunshine,
) _9 ?  x8 j6 P9 }Wild and free,
) }4 w, X7 ?( ]" F7 JFlirting with the lighting,
Playing tag with the wind,
Chasing the thunder
. o; t# }" m  \+ ETime and again,
, T1 \0 z4 Z2 tSoaring with the eagle,
Swimming in the sea,
Enjoying all of nature
While I'm waiting for thee.