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Shejing's random sick joke #2

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鲜花(499) 鸡蛋(10)
发表于 2010-11-19 12:52 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
A businessman was getting ready to go on a long business trip. He knew9 w- I& N- U2 u7 j1 i
his wife would have a hard time being faithful while he was gone so he- l1 @5 b# W) o8 F- P8 t& y
decided to go to a sex shop to find something to entertain her.  As he
0 U; ~' t0 {4 v+ Mbrowsed through all the different toys the old man behind the counter asked
( j5 |6 _# O+ \. k, X9 Eif he needed help.  He explained his situation and the old man said, "Well,# d0 N* O" t) `1 s% R0 K% C' w
I don't really know of anything that will keep her occupied for weeks,
0 i) V1 W+ M* i, n; qexcept... ahhh... never mind."& ^! D3 G( A* q0 d' w+ J/ H
+ q' V# a! d' V# @& q! W
    "Except what?" the man asked.. N& V# Y2 x2 T) C) d- L
    "Nothing, nothing."
/ c5 L- M3 C& C' s    "C'mon, tell me!"4 s8 u1 t: t% U$ d  S. g; A
    "Well, there is VooDoo Dick."
  i% c( m$ h& I3 l2 A, y! |    "What's VooDoo Dick?" the man replied.7 _( h. S1 d) N
    "It can't be described" said the old man, "it can only be witnessed."
9 Z# h7 [9 F, ` So the old man reached under the counter, and pulled out an old wooden box,
0 n" r  ~6 v: i0 jcarved with strange symbols. He opened it, and there lay a very
% ?; u1 ^# a( `  T9 r; o8 B: n6 f! kordinary-looking black dildo.
9 V( m$ G& e) Q$ Y1 k( w    The businessman laughed, and said, "That's it?"# m2 f5 ]$ l9 l) _  @; Z2 C, b

5 N9 H8 G2 [" D" W) L    The old man replied, "But you haven't seen what it'll do yet."  The old, Q) ]: B8 Q' i
man pointed to a door across the room and said, "VooDoo Dick, the door."
* H9 k& C" V; d1 J: b; G8 O VooDoo Dick rose out of its box, darted over to the door, and started3 f0 [  t1 S9 n) Y
screwing the keyhole.  The whole door shook with the vibrations, and a crack
7 e3 b: z0 ?1 c7 }7 }6 W0 C" Pdeveloped down the middle.  Before the door could break, the old man said,
* r! e) n: J( r  M0 {* }"VooDoo Dick, get back in your box!"   VooDoo dick stopped, floated back to. R2 |8 x) G. p) G8 j( }% M! j& `
the box and lay there, quiet once again., U0 J1 y- T0 |2 G1 R/ U: ~2 y
* B( d7 X& A7 {, p
    "I'll take it!" said the businessman.  The old man resisted, saying it
4 |) K1 V4 L2 ewasn't for sale, but he finally surrendered to $1000 in cash.  The guy took
3 ?9 P% q* @5 y% \* }# Eit home to his wife, told her it was a special dildo and that to use it, all
- P! |: o- F3 }) Lshe had to do was say "VooDoo Dick, my pussy."  He left for his trip* ^7 }1 L7 q2 }& a, Q" _- Z
satisfied that things would be fine while he was gone.) r2 C: m% E* N  y

( \: p9 l! d. u. t! l; v    After he'd been gone for a week, the wife was unbearably horny. She
3 Y" _+ Q  _/ `) g0 qthought of several people who would willingly satisfy her, but then she
. p# Z! x6 V, Uremembered VooDoo Dick.  She got it out laid down on the bed and said,
- K/ v. c0 y) {( t"VooDoo Dick, my pussy!"    The VooDoo Dick shot to her crotch.  It was# W# O1 ]+ N9 C- D1 J' U: S
great, like nothing she'd ever experienced before.  After three orgasms, she
  m8 s) g5 ~$ y3 d2 c. `decided she'd had enough, and tried to stop it, but she couldn't, her6 V2 H" A2 R* p
husband had forgot to tell her how to stop it!$ h5 n  U6 a+ l1 h$ f' e9 Z
2 k% N$ q9 f7 q# T, i5 v
    She decided to go to the hospital to see if they could help.  She tried, I1 @  ^9 h* N' t
to get dressed as best as she could with a skirt and a top, but VooDoo Dick
" U0 `; }$ A" d3 Z1 b; djust wouldn't stop and she had yet another orgasm, weakening her knees.5 b4 F% n* M8 B6 X5 B
( c" |) @. L; f5 T# V. [
    Finally she got her clothes on, made it to the car and started to drive
' _5 j. Y& f# Lto the hospital.  On the way, another orgasm made her swerve into oncoming& }1 U1 r/ I$ N7 G+ z" u: o
traffic, then back to her side of the road, narrowly missing a car.  Next' Y% q( n& {  b6 C) b, |% R! o* f6 o
thing she knew there was a police car behind her with it's blue lights
# z/ d, G7 }- n* Dflashing. The police officer asked for her license, and wanted to know how
8 @( V7 z9 p# g: a9 Pmuch she'd had to drink.    Gasping and twitching, she explained that she+ C2 e3 E% d. c+ Q! ~% B  l
hadn't been drinking and tried to explain the problem of VooDoo Dick.) U/ W2 D7 ^2 [; x

# A+ j6 Y9 k% z/ z9 s    The officer looked at her for a second, and then said, "Yeah, right
# B; C0 ?7 n( g& ilady, VooDoo Dick, my ass!"
鲜花(151) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2010-11-19 13:20 | 显示全部楼层
pfft pfft
鲜花(75) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2010-11-19 15:36 | 显示全部楼层
I like how Shejing tells jokes from personal experiences
鲜花(12) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2010-11-20 16:52 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
笑了~顶~
鲜花(4) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2010-11-20 17:15 | 显示全部楼层
lol...
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2010-11-20 23:08 | 显示全部楼层
无语,楼主从哪里听来的这么多成人笑话?
鲜花(128) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2011-5-23 18:39 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
ding...
鲜花(1348) 鸡蛋(5)
发表于 2011-5-24 11:01 | 显示全部楼层
笑了
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2011-6-3 20:43 | 显示全部楼层
顶吧,憋不住也笑了
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2011-10-23 14:32 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
千斤顶
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