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Shejing's random sick joke #2

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鲜花(499) 鸡蛋(10)
发表于 2010-11-19 12:52 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
A businessman was getting ready to go on a long business trip. He knew; s7 Z& P& `1 Q5 t
his wife would have a hard time being faithful while he was gone so he
7 h+ ]) e6 q' G( ~( Gdecided to go to a sex shop to find something to entertain her.  As he$ x$ F5 m2 @2 M  ]- a
browsed through all the different toys the old man behind the counter asked
/ A) s+ p8 n% k% pif he needed help.  He explained his situation and the old man said, "Well," }0 q0 L# W' L( B% |
I don't really know of anything that will keep her occupied for weeks,
2 t! q5 b0 |$ u6 z, D- o1 uexcept... ahhh... never mind."- ^( D$ B% H( k. \/ U
* l, K0 P% R- y. T/ S
    "Except what?" the man asked.# I. V2 T8 n5 n) e4 d% Z7 r
    "Nothing, nothing."
* U4 p8 H5 e" k  Y6 T    "C'mon, tell me!"
7 Q9 {) a1 h1 W/ x3 d* S3 r    "Well, there is VooDoo Dick."
4 A2 k/ P" b, Y* {/ N    "What's VooDoo Dick?" the man replied.
' \- J, x0 L3 I2 u    "It can't be described" said the old man, "it can only be witnessed."
: G3 \1 U8 g  r  ~ So the old man reached under the counter, and pulled out an old wooden box, $ Y9 T) P8 A& N/ `8 X- \) i' w
carved with strange symbols. He opened it, and there lay a very
& w9 n% d. |6 F/ K7 w6 pordinary-looking black dildo.
4 ?1 m% z, H# {) J* I    The businessman laughed, and said, "That's it?"
8 }5 S) Y- g7 L( y& A" Z. P- o! i6 M  M6 Z0 ^& `
    The old man replied, "But you haven't seen what it'll do yet."  The old3 \0 B9 c0 Y  m5 i* U/ N# t
man pointed to a door across the room and said, "VooDoo Dick, the door."
% X6 u6 [$ ^: u; b VooDoo Dick rose out of its box, darted over to the door, and started
. N  |2 X0 F7 N' f5 escrewing the keyhole.  The whole door shook with the vibrations, and a crack
1 T1 j; m6 u6 S) E6 o  edeveloped down the middle.  Before the door could break, the old man said,
$ g/ W: c4 S$ a# c8 A: R4 l"VooDoo Dick, get back in your box!"   VooDoo dick stopped, floated back to
6 U5 H, Q! t' {! ]the box and lay there, quiet once again.
; f( n2 V1 X% _' G+ H/ Y7 R$ e$ e3 [
/ e$ N) A+ q! i7 ~* X0 c/ p    "I'll take it!" said the businessman.  The old man resisted, saying it
# c  w% \) o. W/ ^wasn't for sale, but he finally surrendered to $1000 in cash.  The guy took+ ^7 T0 n) f% L. O  j( X
it home to his wife, told her it was a special dildo and that to use it, all ) `7 I% {; `+ X/ t- K1 E( y3 g
she had to do was say "VooDoo Dick, my pussy."  He left for his trip" M/ N9 ^  M0 A7 ]: [2 |- R
satisfied that things would be fine while he was gone.
# H: l2 C, t2 u$ v0 V. |4 `4 T' l$ k; M, K
    After he'd been gone for a week, the wife was unbearably horny. She5 h& c; }: \, s
thought of several people who would willingly satisfy her, but then she
0 i% i) D; F" E' k2 h9 uremembered VooDoo Dick.  She got it out laid down on the bed and said,; P$ S: X& b2 z" _
"VooDoo Dick, my pussy!"    The VooDoo Dick shot to her crotch.  It was4 O) F4 E& y9 G
great, like nothing she'd ever experienced before.  After three orgasms, she
1 Q  z- z$ g9 ?9 `- Qdecided she'd had enough, and tried to stop it, but she couldn't, her5 b8 j; q7 I+ R
husband had forgot to tell her how to stop it!1 v) {( X( v$ f0 b4 W5 X: v
! y0 H0 [" _: d1 w7 c6 ~4 K$ k
    She decided to go to the hospital to see if they could help.  She tried
! r/ D1 w4 x7 A, [3 P+ oto get dressed as best as she could with a skirt and a top, but VooDoo Dick
$ e6 E6 S$ `4 _6 Ejust wouldn't stop and she had yet another orgasm, weakening her knees.
, r  B4 O/ _3 J9 m% X* s  U4 I% Z% q' B. D
    Finally she got her clothes on, made it to the car and started to drive& u3 c9 J) ^( K3 V
to the hospital.  On the way, another orgasm made her swerve into oncoming
" V( A. L( P: ]1 G" j+ ytraffic, then back to her side of the road, narrowly missing a car.  Next
: W9 b8 d$ p. B7 xthing she knew there was a police car behind her with it's blue lights2 x; J, Q+ E# c) @# m8 F
flashing. The police officer asked for her license, and wanted to know how6 Q" s5 }: t2 u+ P. {  i+ J0 o
much she'd had to drink.    Gasping and twitching, she explained that she6 |9 Y" v- t0 D& h, O
hadn't been drinking and tried to explain the problem of VooDoo Dick.1 c4 O6 }1 P$ `! v5 e* S

; k) I4 `' x2 V. K3 W- z    The officer looked at her for a second, and then said, "Yeah, right6 ~7 L0 t& h0 @6 ^( T3 }
lady, VooDoo Dick, my ass!"
鲜花(151) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2010-11-19 13:20 | 显示全部楼层
pfft pfft
鲜花(75) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2010-11-19 15:36 | 显示全部楼层
I like how Shejing tells jokes from personal experiences
鲜花(12) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2010-11-20 16:52 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
笑了~顶~
鲜花(4) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2010-11-20 17:15 | 显示全部楼层
lol...
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2010-11-20 23:08 | 显示全部楼层
无语,楼主从哪里听来的这么多成人笑话?
鲜花(128) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2011-5-23 18:39 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
ding...
鲜花(1348) 鸡蛋(5)
发表于 2011-5-24 11:01 | 显示全部楼层
笑了
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2011-6-3 20:43 | 显示全部楼层
顶吧,憋不住也笑了
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2011-10-23 14:32 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
千斤顶
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