 鲜花( 634)  鸡蛋( 5)
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Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
* g* l# e" E3 i! K" g6 s+ _( M请注意,以下序号都是1不是误写
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% o' F9 j7 E, I& H$ X) ^. V1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.+ E6 B1 V, u# T: k! a' @
1,男人不是你肚子里的蛔虫6 {: W/ i U5 V# {5 F0 R
& Y5 T) H8 D* L F+ t% R8 P1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
5 d+ e4 ]2 h$ xdown./ e, f# B( W$ p
We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about
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leaving it down.$ l; |( a: c! p4 k9 d2 q+ A
1,学会使用马桶盖,你是个大姑娘了,马桶盖要是翻起来了,你就放下去。我们需要盖子翻起来,你们需要放下去,你们什么时候听骨哦我们抱怨你们把马桶盖放下去?
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1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
- u: E, @" c3 x; |4 c$ c; P* ]$ ~2 bLet it be.
3 b) V8 C, t) m1,周日的体育,无论它像满月还是潮汐,随他去
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7 X$ t9 S% c+ Z1 b1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it
' P& V4 B* t( N/ t& f6 H# xthat way.
( A8 x# n6 W7 S# H4 x4 a2 W1,购物不是体育。不,也别指望我们能那么想!. n ?, L5 g+ c) M% s, m) e( ^: @
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1. Crying is blackmail.
" G2 m$ P! c% a+ t% z' l& Z% g6 w' W1,哭泣是敲诈
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1. Ask for what you want.
6 T. h! D }" E8 ]8 d8 PLet us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!# H4 h. E& T/ y+ s
Strong hints do not work!
) @) e9 @9 X% ^/ _$ iObvious hints do not work!
2 y7 s1 O7 O' h$ `8 b4 nJust say it!+ F! N" Z; x4 _; f) z0 {9 }8 t
1,你想要什么就说1 @8 g" u* O+ W( j
我们再说得清楚点,小暗示不管用,强烈按时不管用,明显的暗示也不管用!想干吗你明说!: ?( g* H$ V. d: {" a/ F! g
" f& [. }4 U q1 l7 @1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every
* }/ C( a0 }& C3 |. f, r- Nquestion.
& o% g9 @. X, m3 a6 Z1, yes 和no 是回答问题的绝好答案。 (意思是,丈夫仅仅说是,不是,妻子不满意)
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/ I- _4 Q" E* M( u2 U1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's0 A1 W1 c) e0 _/ q
what we do.- Y o' B; e; n# F7 h. l
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
; A8 G, @( N/ U1,如果你有麻烦,可以来找我们帮助解决,可是不要仅仅为了获取同情,那是你们女朋友的责任。
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- k4 L; R6 A% n7 d2 z1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor., |% V8 W7 [2 M1 b1 h' Q7 }9 E
1,你要是头疼了17个月,那你应该看医生去3 X. j3 K3 u9 a, m: n* e- ^
0 I' o t9 P: ^, C# K1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
( o% L6 R- Y$ {- dIn fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
5 ^7 Q3 W2 X- h9 ^; S我们6个月前说的话在争吵中不许再提及,事实上,我们说的话7天后就作废了
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1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us5 L! R& b9 N7 H
to act like soap opera guys.( @/ i) M1 u- p4 f2 E
1,如果你不能穿的像个维多利亚的秘密(性感品牌)的女孩子们,那么也别指望我们行为象肥皂剧里面的男明星们! v. x4 V9 B$ O. x' R2 x
* b2 C% O" U! `* h$ g1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
h# X* K% f* ` M% z& ]9 c1,你要是觉得你胖,那你八成就胖,别问我们
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& O. h2 f( V0 ]8 k6 u1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways
8 X7 Y0 c0 F* t7 e; ^; z0 E3 mmakes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
7 O9 ]3 `, }5 F1 如果我们说的话可以被理解成两种意思,而其中一种意思令你们伤心或者愤怒,那么我们本来是另一种意思。) j& ~& b* S: q" D
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(谁有工夫继续一下,谢谢)/ ~ [; ^. _" v9 s4 Y5 k3 s% O
1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it. ~- }9 O2 ~ t, t% s
done. Not both.
9 J) e7 v0 j! n2 E+ f/ EIf you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself.
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1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during/ M+ D* }5 f8 h/ J8 a* c1 k
commercials.
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" ]7 D9 I4 {0 u1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.. W v1 I: L$ R9 i
: w9 S& H [* u1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.9 M: i" b6 v8 [9 b/ X" e
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
/ G! \4 [ |; I* F, d0 x2 d# h* j& WWe have no idea what mauve is.4 s# R- d; n" v$ _2 N' i" r+ p
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1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.
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7 a# U+ _1 P( A* x$ `1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like, _& d. N u1 Q+ O
nothing's wrong.$ B r0 h/ @* z, g
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.* ?* l' S6 K. y2 T
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1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer6 d Q9 a$ J1 b6 P4 I1 y9 o
you don't want to hear./ N) W q( W0 Y% H& T. ?
: b' }8 \; _, h+ I1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is$ y) l" e2 w/ T+ A
fine...Really.
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1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to. {7 ~7 q: F5 V* b! I
discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf. A# D6 j& o5 s% ~/ t
0 S. C" U& O, M4 |1. You have enough clothes.
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* T% [# z2 O5 E ~( M- T7 @1. You have too many shoes.; A5 ?" ~/ L: K) @; }7 W
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1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
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1. Thank you for reading this.
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) Z( c5 m. C/ g( M" Y" y5 x2 x" p8 ~Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
! x. f% g+ a: @- ?But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
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Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.
. w2 F$ m2 J8 ?- ~# FPass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh |
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