 鲜花( 634)  鸡蛋( 5)
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Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!! y; @+ i% N4 k# y% E8 s* G, R
请注意,以下序号都是1不是误写: M& K2 I4 e" o7 z. X
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1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.' {; }' L$ H& u' T, N+ ?# s) E1 M
1,男人不是你肚子里的蛔虫
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1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
4 R0 a& E. F5 ~) I, m) rdown., O, O5 A- r2 d, c- c
We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about 8 c) ]7 C; [* E+ s. X$ N+ f
you
2 y& R/ I- p2 \9 g' E3 i( I% sleaving it down.- c3 q: W) x4 b) i, \
1,学会使用马桶盖,你是个大姑娘了,马桶盖要是翻起来了,你就放下去。我们需要盖子翻起来,你们需要放下去,你们什么时候听骨哦我们抱怨你们把马桶盖放下去?. h( m0 N+ H @ g# u3 e" F5 j
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1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.2 i* f6 X0 K. ?
Let it be.
, \; r4 |% d" o2 B, s+ v- }1,周日的体育,无论它像满月还是潮汐,随他去; U* R. f& i) V1 b5 Z0 c1 G, G
+ P" G0 g) K3 l4 Z2 T1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it
" N7 T A) X) o7 n6 K/ c4 hthat way.
& u7 W1 M6 k, Y+ X) z, T, b- [* z1,购物不是体育。不,也别指望我们能那么想!
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E& k) w( @/ x. P" U1. Crying is blackmail.( p* K8 w& G- f$ j! B/ ]
1,哭泣是敲诈
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1 ~/ N! Y" F A) d1. Ask for what you want.' ~0 `% r* H, t' N- z
Let us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!' k9 q: H4 a t: R- |
Strong hints do not work!/ Y5 Q! R% g! I: R. p
Obvious hints do not work!
) ^2 q* l9 T |5 f( {0 d3 I3 \Just say it!/ N- P- p/ p4 }, Z
1,你想要什么就说3 k/ F: a6 q, h8 U: w
我们再说得清楚点,小暗示不管用,强烈按时不管用,明显的暗示也不管用!想干吗你明说!
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1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every ' y7 A6 G9 h" B! o* {/ G T
question.
0 L2 G7 a' L; Q0 [/ ~5 z1, yes 和no 是回答问题的绝好答案。 (意思是,丈夫仅仅说是,不是,妻子不满意)- t! r" e7 x& `/ ?2 z, A& f1 x4 s- U
! w* E8 z6 ?3 P& f3 M0 m1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's
, W* V: B* A* I V% e- _what we do.
6 O0 W7 f7 m; K2 U) h) `Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.5 J5 w0 B7 l) _# u, g2 `- L& }0 ^
1,如果你有麻烦,可以来找我们帮助解决,可是不要仅仅为了获取同情,那是你们女朋友的责任。. e0 [2 h) p( @" L$ O$ h* z/ s3 _3 U
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1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
9 _/ U+ h/ z5 r- e) Y: y! X! z1,你要是头疼了17个月,那你应该看医生去5 T& C$ p5 t& U; e4 n" T
9 F/ @+ e) D7 g5 {* E1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
3 J+ V) t5 q/ S4 aIn fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
$ y! ] r- k2 y1 E/ Z& s我们6个月前说的话在争吵中不许再提及,事实上,我们说的话7天后就作废了
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3 }; @8 g! i0 j9 B# f1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us, |6 z2 E! q" p: m, w# M4 f- ?
to act like soap opera guys.
# |. S8 g1 y9 Z9 m' L1,如果你不能穿的像个维多利亚的秘密(性感品牌)的女孩子们,那么也别指望我们行为象肥皂剧里面的男明星们; |; P5 \- Y. d
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1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
W% F- V& g8 L8 Y6 ^1,你要是觉得你胖,那你八成就胖,别问我们# n& S4 S9 h; M+ m
) j4 F! G, {/ [; s2 \1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways
+ S$ o& D3 `! C$ wmakes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
2 _9 B3 A+ N) T0 M1 H2 e" y! G1 如果我们说的话可以被理解成两种意思,而其中一种意思令你们伤心或者愤怒,那么我们本来是另一种意思。4 a& r& E% I% C. }! E
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(谁有工夫继续一下,谢谢)
& \1 ~: Y7 s% Z: L$ {1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it
- ` D, A/ B( J% c! A1 |( Vdone. Not both.
' ~5 C1 C% G1 z5 Q. }If you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself.
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; J9 B% Y9 D2 V/ w2 r: t9 q1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during$ e- t6 }. T: R! t
commercials." X" d+ m; \) Y, o' ?: h! I) C
: {" M6 u+ R# X1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we., \5 z1 W) M5 H9 X0 z- ?
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1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
) Y9 Y9 f/ W- N) RPeach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit., ]4 P2 Y5 v2 X
We have no idea what mauve is.
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1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.' \+ O& K! _0 \& T; Z
$ Y9 u; n3 N( Z6 Y/ {; {1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like
" H3 s# [" P- onothing's wrong.
+ N8 B" y; ~* Y8 A+ }8 ~- [We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.4 h {: _; X8 b# O L' S; h
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1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer- |5 S- {; _3 \
you don't want to hear.% K/ i9 X. j6 }* U* ^2 z( s
( U5 w6 Z, O6 L& x) a2 ]/ l$ y' s1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is; V2 K# V* k, o
fine...Really.
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1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
; r' O D" h& z. Odiscuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf. x# A# K5 i$ p# ~" o! U+ ~2 B' Q, q& B3 X
6 o+ K( j+ Q1 r1. You have enough clothes.! F, l: \% J. V8 w1 y
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1. You have too many shoes.2 | ]; D2 v0 n" M0 v
! M+ U0 O' `+ m w- P/ R6 |% N b1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!8 o0 i0 m: B4 C) Y
+ P3 M- h4 W6 `! f: @& @ v# c# R: n1. Thank you for reading this.1 Y: t' K2 C( h, A6 ?
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Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;& F, s9 G) u/ F
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
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Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.
! s' A- x7 W! Q% r, f" F) DPass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh |
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