 鲜花( 634)  鸡蛋( 5)
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Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!, m' C( g T# V$ b
请注意，以下序号都是1不是误写4 }( }. ~ K" c' g5 U; u
" x$ L; w4 K$ n0 C; l7 Y1. Men ARE NOT mind readers. ?& z3 a8 w ]% L
1，男人不是你肚子里的蛔虫
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1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
. e8 z ]9 ]9 [9 _/ Ndown.3 W, j4 u0 O4 h. q- g8 Z- C
We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about
$ d; p0 W" w9 P3 q$ j% eyou
5 J" f5 e% |. z3 ?! `leaving it down.
' M+ N0 g9 t3 T( n: L. _; A# D1，学会使用马桶盖，你是个大姑娘了，马桶盖要是翻起来了，你就放下去。我们需要盖子翻起来，你们需要放下去，你们什么时候听骨哦我们抱怨你们把马桶盖放下去？: R. G. N6 T! w! A- s' C
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1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.. G0 ~5 F$ p% {7 ?/ T4 o; t
Let it be.) {+ U( k( ^0 Y5 o. _
1，周日的体育，无论它像满月还是潮汐，随他去. y9 x0 B3 l0 F7 S# v4 D, E) o
/ `" |1 [5 y6 y+ T; H1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it
+ E6 I9 H7 W5 [4 @- N& Dthat way.
% [ b; A% ~1 d& r+ U" Z1，购物不是体育。不，也别指望我们能那么想！
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1. Crying is blackmail.
( |5 K2 b& f! X. n/ o5 v% a7 f# c1，哭泣是敲诈( h9 W8 r2 H" b& H% B
# `2 T: w1 K- C0 e, }& W# n- f! y5 F1. Ask for what you want.+ P4 C" u) y& C5 c8 S
Let us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!
% X: Y/ G& j8 U3 ?Strong hints do not work!
# J! @+ h: T, L- B! j: @* sObvious hints do not work!% n# M6 z- u: U6 J: P/ h
Just say it!/ k) T! m! I5 Y) R6 y2 O
1，你想要什么就说( r9 H7 L9 m2 s, I) u
我们再说得清楚点，小暗示不管用，强烈按时不管用，明显的暗示也不管用！想干吗你明说！
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! E% O- G9 g( f, J9 N/ U1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every & @" d9 T F8 n1 q6 U. ?
question.
/ W" v1 o4 ], { v& P+ ?1, yes 和no 是回答问题的绝好答案。 （意思是，丈夫仅仅说是，不是，妻子不满意）
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7 h( d S1 i* P+ a; A" P u1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's- y" z6 z- p# I/ N; h3 G
what we do.3 v- _0 ~; g& J( ~% u! ]
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.. W$ }$ |" r6 U
1，如果你有麻烦，可以来找我们帮助解决，可是不要仅仅为了获取同情，那是你们女朋友的责任。
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1 i& p* Y: A5 R9 @1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
d1 _3 }# ]+ x, [, g8 T1，你要是头疼了17个月，那你应该看医生去4 B9 {# x( @! C* J* T
# u' [" b0 ~9 J/ |: w; M1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
/ O6 _; k3 G( nIn fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days., R& P6 q2 Q7 \- c; ^8 i
我们6个月前说的话在争吵中不许再提及，事实上，我们说的话7天后就作废了. M) R; x/ v6 ?
1 m/ d! t6 o, _ ~( m( C0 ]1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us6 i% o4 n* ]+ F
to act like soap opera guys., j& E" e; v+ Z3 i6 H" ^; F0 ^
1，如果你不能穿的像个维多利亚的秘密（性感品牌）的女孩子们，那么也别指望我们行为象肥皂剧里面的男明星们' M: S- C* C c: e+ p
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1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
9 R* J4 `0 A3 ?, l1，你要是觉得你胖，那你八成就胖，别问我们9 }# u* ?& M/ S& P
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1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways
! \2 T# S+ i" F! _makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one./ E% V8 R5 Z7 V0 F+ S9 Q/ l) L& Z
1 如果我们说的话可以被理解成两种意思，而其中一种意思令你们伤心或者愤怒，那么我们本来是另一种意思。
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（谁有工夫继续一下，谢谢）
* g' v: J) C1 L! w9 I2 i- E) `1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it
- d* F o# F- ^7 R5 c1 p Hdone. Not both.0 s& ?4 [0 k9 f3 e% X4 y1 V
If you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself.& @4 b* ^4 z" Q6 n
3 x4 L! z) }$ D1 U# ^; f5 A1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during( j# _1 T+ b4 U9 r2 F' c: ~
commercials.$ P$ h2 p- F3 Q5 [& d7 o3 |
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1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.5 j$ D, o5 p( b
! C1 ~3 O0 O1 _, D( y' M1 f1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.$ ~, K7 ^' u% Z. [
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit./ i0 W A$ u0 F3 v' ]: ~
We have no idea what mauve is.* ~- p$ \7 X! Q8 F7 e
7 y x% Q' Y# m% ]1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.
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1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like2 c! q, Y% Y5 _- w6 m. Q7 Y
nothing's wrong.8 a* b- Y; {$ v- H' P' X1 E" Y
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.. X+ Y9 ]% C7 C3 g) u1 U* p
9 G! m0 h6 k5 @# H1 o4 _6 A1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer j# V8 G6 O5 s" N
you don't want to hear.
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) z* |* H* {- U) F: r4 Q# P1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is( c/ t0 x% O! h
fine...Really.
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1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to4 N4 C/ H- A$ a8 z$ ?
discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.
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1. You have enough clothes.
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1 Z2 }) B1 t# j# \0 a- A3 P# I1. You have too many shoes.
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1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!) F$ _1 C. u1 c) Q' v; n
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1. Thank you for reading this.
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* i- M0 ^$ ?% `% ?+ q; v$ cYes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;9 C* E: ?( E( Z+ {( k
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
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" p7 |5 X5 F* n% vPass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.
; i- g5 T; n" _6 h% \& X3 XPass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2005-11-11 13:05
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发表于 2005-11-11 13:06
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发表于 2005-11-11 16:47
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