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呼应海尼尼:一个男人的心声

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鲜花(634) 鸡蛋(5)
发表于 2005-11-11 13:05 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!! y; @+ i% N4 k# y% E8 s* G, R
请注意,以下序号都是1不是误写: M& K2 I4 e" o7 z. X
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1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.' {; }' L$ H& u' T, N+ ?# s) E1 M
1,男人不是你肚子里的蛔虫
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1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
4 R0 a& E. F5 ~) I, m) rdown., O, O5 A- r2 d, c- c
We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about 8 c) ]7 C; [* E+ s. X$ N+ f
you
2 y& R/ I- p2 \9 g' E3 i( I% sleaving it down.- c3 q: W) x4 b) i, \
1,学会使用马桶盖,你是个大姑娘了,马桶盖要是翻起来了,你就放下去。我们需要盖子翻起来,你们需要放下去,你们什么时候听骨哦我们抱怨你们把马桶盖放下去?. h( m0 N+ H  @  g# u3 e" F5 j
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1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.2 i* f6 X0 K. ?
Let it be.
, \; r4 |% d" o2 B, s+ v- }1,周日的体育,无论它像满月还是潮汐,随他去; U* R. f& i) V1 b5 Z0 c1 G, G

+ P" G0 g) K3 l4 Z2 T1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it
" N7 T  A) X) o7 n6 K/ c4 hthat way.
& u7 W1 M6 k, Y+ X) z, T, b- [* z1,购物不是体育。不,也别指望我们能那么想!
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  E& k) w( @/ x. P" U1. Crying is blackmail.( p* K8 w& G- f$ j! B/ ]
1,哭泣是敲诈
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1 ~/ N! Y" F  A) d1. Ask for what you want.' ~0 `% r* H, t' N- z
Let us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!' k9 q: H4 a  t: R- |
Strong hints do not work!/ Y5 Q! R% g! I: R. p
Obvious hints do not work!
) ^2 q* l9 T  |5 f( {0 d3 I3 \Just say it!/ N- P- p/ p4 }, Z
1,你想要什么就说3 k/ F: a6 q, h8 U: w
我们再说得清楚点,小暗示不管用,强烈按时不管用,明显的暗示也不管用!想干吗你明说!
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1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every ' y7 A6 G9 h" B! o* {/ G  T
question.
0 L2 G7 a' L; Q0 [/ ~5 z1, yes 和no 是回答问题的绝好答案。 (意思是,丈夫仅仅说是,不是,妻子不满意)- t! r" e7 x& `/ ?2 z, A& f1 x4 s- U

! w* E8 z6 ?3 P& f3 M0 m1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it.  That's
, W* V: B* A* I  V% e- _what we do.
6 O0 W7 f7 m; K2 U) h) `Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.5 J5 w0 B7 l) _# u, g2 `- L& }0 ^
1,如果你有麻烦,可以来找我们帮助解决,可是不要仅仅为了获取同情,那是你们女朋友的责任。. e0 [2 h) p( @" L$ O$ h* z/ s3 _3 U
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1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem.  See a doctor.
9 _/ U+ h/ z5 r- e) Y: y! X! z1,你要是头疼了17个月,那你应该看医生去5 T& C$ p5 t& U; e4 n" T

9 F/ @+ e) D7 g5 {* E1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
3 J+ V) t5 q/ S4 aIn fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
$ y! ]  r- k2 y1 E/ Z& s我们6个月前说的话在争吵中不许再提及,事实上,我们说的话7天后就作废了
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3 }; @8 g! i0 j9 B# f1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us, |6 z2 E! q" p: m, w# M4 f- ?
to act like soap opera guys.
# |. S8 g1 y9 Z9 m' L1,如果你不能穿的像个维多利亚的秘密(性感品牌)的女孩子们,那么也别指望我们行为象肥皂剧里面的男明星们; |; P5 \- Y. d
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1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
  W% F- V& g8 L8 Y6 ^1,你要是觉得你胖,那你八成就胖,别问我们# n& S4 S9 h; M+ m

) j4 F! G, {/ [; s2 \1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways
+ S$ o& D3 `! C$ wmakes you sad or angry, we meant  the other one.
2 _9 B3 A+ N) T0 M1 H2 e" y! G1 如果我们说的话可以被理解成两种意思,而其中一种意思令你们伤心或者愤怒,那么我们本来是另一种意思。4 a& r& E% I% C. }! E
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(谁有工夫继续一下,谢谢)
& \1 ~: Y7 s% Z: L$ {1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it
- `  D, A/ B( J% c! A1 |( Vdone. Not both.
' ~5 C1 C% G1 z5 Q. }If you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself.
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; J9 B% Y9 D2 V/ w2 r: t9 q1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during$ e- t6 }. T: R! t
commercials." X" d+ m; \) Y, o' ?: h! I) C

: {" M6 u+ R# X1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we., \5 z1 W) M5 H9 X0 z- ?
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1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
) Y9 Y9 f/ W- N) RPeach, for example, is a fruit, not   A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit., ]4 P2 Y5 v2 X
We have no idea what mauve is.
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1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.' \+ O& K! _0 \& T; Z

$ Y9 u; n3 N( Z6 Y/ {; {1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like
" H3 s# [" P- onothing's wrong.
+ N8 B" y; ~* Y8 A+ }8 ~- [We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.4 h  {: _; X8 b# O  L' S; h
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1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer- |5 S- {; _3 \
you don't want to hear.% K/ i9 X. j6 }* U* ^2 z( s

( U5 w6 Z, O6 L& x) a2 ]/ l$ y' s1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is; V2 K# V* k, o
fine...Really.
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1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
; r' O  D" h& z. Odiscuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.  x# A# K5 i$ p# ~" o! U+ ~2 B' Q, q& B3 X

6 o+ K( j+ Q1 r1. You have enough clothes.! F, l: \% J. V8 w1 y
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1. You have too many shoes.2 |  ]; D2 v0 n" M0 v

! M+ U0 O' `+ m  w- P/ R6 |% N  b1. I am in shape.  Round IS a shape!8 o0 i0 m: B4 C) Y

+ P3 M- h4 W6 `! f: @& @  v# c# R: n1. Thank you for reading this.1 Y: t' K2 C( h, A6 ?
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Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;& F, s9 G) u/ F
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
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Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.
! s' A- x7 W! Q% r, f" F) DPass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 13:06 | 显示全部楼层
funny
鲜花(6) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 15:10 | 显示全部楼层
试试哈。
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- z+ E% n8 q! B2 X1.You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want itdone. Not both.If you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself.你或者让我们去做事情或者告诉我们你想怎么做,但是千万别同时要求我们。你如果知道怎么样做最好,那么自己个儿做吧。+ u% o  _) A  c6 v& \

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5 R* i8 E) r, b* @  t1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say duringcommercials.不管什么时候,能不能把你必须要说的话留到广告时间说?
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1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
8 _& N8 R, k6 V) b1 T$ b我们和克里斯托福。哥伦布一样不需要指导!
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1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.Peach, for example, is a fruit, not   A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.We have no idea what mauve is.( `9 ]0 q9 ^! y% _/ `1 s
所有的男人只认识16种颜色,就像没有背景的窗户(这个很生硬,不知道什么意思)。桃子就是种水果而不是什么见鬼的桃色,同理南瓜也就是种水果。我们更不知道浅紫色是什么鬼东西。& I$ o$ N5 ~) ?3 G
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1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.
) w+ k5 Z. Y' O! K7 [如果痒了就挠挠,我们就爱做实事。
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1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act likenothing's wrong.We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
  E4 A# g0 B0 ^如果我们问发生什么事了?你说没事,那就没事啊。我们知道你们在撒谎,可是那根本不值得讨论。( D$ q/ r# W: [$ p- b( G; o

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1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answeryou don't want to hear.% {, N9 p! w  o) t) z$ q
如果你一定要问一个你不想知道答案的问题,那么就别指望能听到你想要听的答案。
鲜花(634) 鸡蛋(5)
 楼主| 发表于 2005-11-11 15:26 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
Originally posted by 海妮妮 at 2005-11-11 04:10 PM:
) g: b, S& h0 v9 b( ]' }ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.Peach, for example, is a fruit, not   A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.We have no idea what mauve is.5 r9 f) M: g" p' ~  \
所有的男人只认识16种颜色,就像没有背景的窗户(这个很生硬,不知道什么意思)。桃子就是种水果而不是什么见鬼的桃色,同理南瓜也就是种水果。我们更不知道浅紫色是什么鬼东西。
# H3 Z' w+ N$ n$ A9 c: T

8 T+ W% D: s: ?* @这里的windows是指微软的窗口平台,default setting就是大家什么不设的普通颜色设置7 k' H, Y+ a) T: a  e; w6 q
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还是海尼尼心眼好,办实事!
大型搬家
鲜花(6) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 15:26 | 显示全部楼层
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Isfine...Really." L# n' K$ j8 S& r5 k/ w% U: c9 k3 ^
如果我们要去哪里,你无论穿什么都绝对很好。。。真的不骗你( k/ d1 s6 C4 E3 \% i. m+ v

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1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared todiscuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.
! q1 Y1 ]3 U$ Q- Z! h% h% i不要问我们在关心什么,除非你已经可以讨论诸如棒球、橄榄球或高尔夫等话题。, S6 K2 ^/ F+ K7 J7 X( @  r
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1. You have enough clothes.6 L) z4 H+ ]; E$ a( c
你的衣服足够多了
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2 F+ W4 @% f) a1. You have too many shoes.
, `: e7 W/ p5 b6 Y. F你的鞋子也太多了吧
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3 P# N" W8 J3 Y1. I am in shape.  Round IS a shape!
4 @: n& p" {0 l4 U! H, n我很有型啊,你能说球型不是一种型吗?/ `' Y- X0 X( o* C0 ?! i: D* _8 `& s
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1. Thank you for reading this.
" _9 s" i  f; ^# n' [多谢你能看完这个) ~3 C2 d' m- c8 H. E: O

: ?7 R8 p4 g- N; J7 u: iYes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
  Z6 C7 w: w$ y0 S$ E我知道今晚我得睡沙发了,但你知道吗,男人们一点儿都不会介意这个的,不就是野营嘛。
鲜花(6) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 15:28 | 显示全部楼层
Originally posted by 三思 at 2005-11-11 04:26 PM:& y% B8 \# @# J) I) g" t
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这里的windows是指微软的窗口平台,default setting就是大家什么不设的普通颜色设置
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还是海尼尼心眼好,办实事!

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% O; [7 v' w9 ^6 b% i* P; P3 x1 n- u应该说还是海妮妮心眼实,办好事。嘿嘿
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* n5 g  W( W: S玩玩,献丑了哈
鲜花(634) 鸡蛋(5)
 楼主| 发表于 2005-11-11 15:35 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
最后一句真绝阿
鲜花(1394) 鸡蛋(16)
发表于 2005-11-11 16:47 | 显示全部楼层
Originally posted by 海妮妮 at 2005-11-11 03:26 PM:
+ B5 F( x; \) V1. You have enough clothes.
6 T& L( g8 _0 |: X- ^- y你的衣服足够多了
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1. You have too many shoes.
: N* x$ v8 R% T9 h6 q3 O你的鞋子也太多了吧
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这两句话我经常对LD说,但是她说NO。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 17:26 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
鲜花(634) 鸡蛋(5)
 楼主| 发表于 2005-11-11 17:38 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say duringcommercials.不管什么时候,能不能把你必须要说的话留到广告时间说?
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----这句话我劳工常说,我就。。。。忍了。尤其看《幸存者〉的时候,电话都不接。但是观看期间他可以跟我说话,不许我说
鲜花(10) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 20:39 | 显示全部楼层
1. Ask for what you want.1 X3 Q8 S3 u: f! x
Let us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!
  g, Q. Y  v2 G, V* o2 K/ ZStrong hints do not work!
) F( w' Y6 C6 A$ z/ {! |" ^Obvious hints do not work!
4 L' F) O* L: U6 i" B. U5 ~6 FJust say it!
& ?6 j: p; u* b# S1,你想要什么就说" `* q2 K0 h* }) x. u9 @
我们再说得清楚点,小暗示不管用,强烈按时不管用,明显的暗示也不管用!想干吗你明说!
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% S. C! x, H6 e关于这一条,我老公只认准了一条hint,只要我在晚上洗了澡,头发湿淋淋的下楼和他说话,他就坚决认为我是在暗示他炒饭了!
鲜花(6) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-11 21:29 | 显示全部楼层
Originally posted by 蓝海 at 2005-11-11 09:39 PM:, n+ o. K# y7 C. W. d5 C* Y
1. Ask for what you want.5 M0 E# Z- V0 L% I9 {) p) ~5 u  A
Let us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!
2 j' U* M/ e3 {$ x% K: ~" IStrong hints do not work!
' r! q% p7 J6 g- pObvious hints do not work!
+ z. X! B6 E8 z2 gJust say it!
5 N" i1 K( l- L" I( S1 U" v. x1,你想要什么就说
+ w! X$ H6 r* I我们再说得清楚点,小暗示不管 ...

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/ F+ A* A; G: d7 t& Y( ?( p# W* c瓦赛
鲜花(86) 鸡蛋(3)
发表于 2005-11-14 00:49 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
被呼应的那部分在哪?还没看过瘾哪!要不,哪位给个连接????
鲜花(6) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-14 09:33 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
Originally posted by 今天闲着 at 2005-11-14 01:49 AM:- F% ]) ]+ D. ?1 i
被呼应的那部分在哪?还没看过瘾哪!要不,哪位给个连接????

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咳,就是偶转贴的那个“老婆的心得”,在这儿0 _% G' u' B; j; S; c0 H9 z, u

  o- S8 _$ `6 S/ B( G" |: W, J- q  _http://web.edmontonchina.cn/viewthread.php?tid=33628&fpage=1
鲜花(86) 鸡蛋(3)
发表于 2005-11-14 15:59 | 显示全部楼层
Originally posted by 海妮妮 at 2005-11-14 09:33:/ E. R; B0 D* b9 W4 A

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8 K% K! O* F1 d% K3 _8 N  E$ T咳,就是偶转贴的那个“老婆的心得”,在这儿
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http://web.edmontonchina.cn/viewthread.php?tid=33628&fpage=1
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这个早看了,想起11来现在还笑得受不了了!以后有机会一定要试一下。4 H6 Q+ I  s- X5 l  S

* c! T6 y7 ?0 |% W/ I还想问问你的体会呢!
鲜花(6) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2005-11-14 16:21 | 显示全部楼层
Originally posted by 今天闲着 at 2005-11-14 04:59 PM:1 a4 p# F( s! f0 E

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) w2 D' E' M7 a. D这个早看了,想起11来现在还笑得受不了了!以后有机会一定要试一下。
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还想问问你的体会呢!
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! e( A; m" P* M+ J9 z( y9 G体会?' l$ }) {9 ^9 v: o/ b5 C( f
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