 鲜花( 634)  鸡蛋( 5)
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Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
0 p" R4 `3 M% i7 d) _请注意，以下序号都是1不是误写+ f: ~) O) A8 ~5 [& V i
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1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.
9 s4 u0 T6 S1 g& b1，男人不是你肚子里的蛔虫. [" ]* b, @ z! @
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1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
. l- Q# z3 Y# jdown.
8 [4 |: L. Z% o. M" OWe need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about ' H/ V! s& z. H, f& Y) X
you
. s2 J. m, d3 W: A z. }6 v! yleaving it down.
8 Z% o: h: c4 s% \5 H% s9 H6 |$ y. I1，学会使用马桶盖，你是个大姑娘了，马桶盖要是翻起来了，你就放下去。我们需要盖子翻起来，你们需要放下去，你们什么时候听骨哦我们抱怨你们把马桶盖放下去？* _7 m9 U k2 F" `9 q8 s# o- P
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1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides." v4 _& s" l$ i7 k$ W
Let it be.1 d$ F" y/ ?: u; u0 B
1，周日的体育，无论它像满月还是潮汐，随他去8 l/ f/ \' K2 S
! N V% B, K& `1 U+ C( G0 K) p. |$ L1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it
, [/ t9 K J$ ~" g+ pthat way.
4 m1 X6 C2 v: l1，购物不是体育。不，也别指望我们能那么想！" E( `; {7 M+ p
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1. Crying is blackmail.& b! |& Y# N: g3 q! Y }; T
1，哭泣是敲诈
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1. Ask for what you want.
! y& ?+ [% \) S" c" XLet us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!; X7 o" F+ \; _+ m* W5 J2 c; {
Strong hints do not work!
1 x2 ]5 E& ^' ]+ d( @4 o, @Obvious hints do not work!! K% O, \6 S) d D
Just say it!
. ?& f6 ?- n' o0 q2 T+ Q7 S" Y1，你想要什么就说' b5 n6 I# J, u
我们再说得清楚点，小暗示不管用，强烈按时不管用，明显的暗示也不管用！想干吗你明说！
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1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every
9 Z {# h j4 C' z( o9 l) fquestion.2 @7 ~. z- m! K1 w r' J
1, yes 和no 是回答问题的绝好答案。 （意思是，丈夫仅仅说是，不是，妻子不满意）
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. H6 _+ c2 L) F" S0 f1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's1 C$ U2 Q) J8 f' Z/ _/ Q6 u- }
what we do.6 k* @. d9 b8 Z9 o/ y7 K% ?: w. L
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
# m3 W1 o" l3 L2 ]* V; `- ?& R( L1，如果你有麻烦，可以来找我们帮助解决，可是不要仅仅为了获取同情，那是你们女朋友的责任。
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1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.6 H* F$ {8 |. r5 _' w6 K: z& n
1，你要是头疼了17个月，那你应该看医生去
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! ] h4 \7 _6 o$ D* E# |1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.3 z2 S' R$ H$ k# P
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
! h9 X6 X2 ^: c$ a我们6个月前说的话在争吵中不许再提及，事实上，我们说的话7天后就作废了7 a7 I! E% {" d+ M
' f# X1 R! Y3 x( o) ] ]1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us
" Q" o" ~ j% r1 u8 a' q* lto act like soap opera guys.
/ M1 \# z2 i: a4 W, I1，如果你不能穿的像个维多利亚的秘密（性感品牌）的女孩子们，那么也别指望我们行为象肥皂剧里面的男明星们3 D& x+ ~9 H* y& \4 M
# u* ?- e/ r% `- i4 ?1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
% X9 U4 f, J: o+ _4 A \- ~1，你要是觉得你胖，那你八成就胖，别问我们
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8 B' \1 J4 v9 x) g0 h1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways
- S7 o* `; b, g) g) S$ Q0 Rmakes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
: }% _( M% v) T2 o& ^) A1 如果我们说的话可以被理解成两种意思，而其中一种意思令你们伤心或者愤怒，那么我们本来是另一种意思。) t/ H" g9 U4 c
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（谁有工夫继续一下，谢谢）
. a! g3 l4 L9 [5 U1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it
1 l' x/ f$ E; ?. k0 |8 j6 d" ^, q+ ]done. Not both.
1 F% K; U" z0 h* J4 g5 p0 k* qIf you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself.
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1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during& a8 O7 T, o5 a) x" u& h2 L
commercials.
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1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
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1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
; g& [8 d4 ]) H0 h, ^5 E& bPeach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
1 x! q6 U8 u2 Q sWe have no idea what mauve is.
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; c& f7 ~' {8 V j; P1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.
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1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like
* e: G" s K: u7 s3 M" Gnothing's wrong.
+ }/ O g" s2 l" ]- B. M2 aWe know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
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1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer' k$ T) r3 i6 E' @5 t5 {
you don't want to hear.- ~* Y9 L: x" R) f
0 O2 x) M" z# ~# v+ S1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is
( ^* `$ O/ O2 o5 n) c- e% R* r: mfine...Really.
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' r( u& o9 U+ [+ j1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to( l9 y6 `0 l7 m2 W
discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.. `/ `3 N; ^1 C- R! O7 ~
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1. You have enough clothes.
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# {% I" Y# F" H& A$ n8 F" N( E; L) J; J1. You have too many shoes.9 ^3 t8 S+ |7 w3 A: B
1 N* W( ^7 r5 s9 m. w% @1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!" C8 L; J9 ?8 @( b
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1. Thank you for reading this.
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4 a- [# v0 L3 e0 }# OYes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
8 K; h# j) d" fBut did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.5 \1 v/ e/ j: L0 D( k2 [2 r/ }
% m/ d! l9 @7 H' x. fPass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.1 b6 V! }3 [5 [! c& A+ z
Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2005-11-11 13:05
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发表于 2005-11-11 13:06
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发表于 2005-11-11 16:47
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