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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON:7 ~1 c" S# m7 W1 x W% T
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: 'ED-MIN-TIN'.5 m a+ y o O! u% O0 S, I
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 a.m. to noon. The evening rush
$ \$ z- q) S9 Z# vhour is from noon to 8:00 p.m. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday" l% e; [, y0 ~! e% j$ q1 H/ `
morning.0 o" g3 Y% G; g. X- w
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3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph. On the QE2,$ l( e( Q! a b2 ^
you are expected to match the speed of the airplanes coming in for a
, Q1 h' F9 F+ k; Xlanding at the airport. Anything less is considered 'Wussy'.
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4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its5 P" p: H0 T5 A" z
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest3 F6 z, z) @. l
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
7 E4 U# I, c+ _" R7 W$ {0 l6 G" v; g- s8 igo second. However, in Southwest Edmonton, SUV-driving, cell0 r3 O8 o9 x/ E9 V
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.* s8 w( O; Z, [% M+ A
0 Y+ U: ]5 S& S& t3 O% J3 V5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,! k1 W1 P+ D ?! S& b; a
cussed out, and possibly shot.+ s9 ?2 ]. b3 l
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6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can% R& t) u& [, f$ w) q9 w1 c; t+ x
get you shot.; U5 v8 t& N) R- G
/ c, U; r0 B1 t% Q8 X* B7. Exception to Rule #6: If you are the 4th car back from a light that9 S) v# k" h, m! [! P
has turned green, you must honk your horn to alert the vehicle first at0 V, w1 i. D, `8 Q" t! Z' y# r( |; z( \
the intersection that the light has changed. Vehicle 2 & 3 won't shoot
0 {4 f2 a( q ^you as they are too busy trying to figure out how to ram the first7 w! r& v/ v' f$ x
vehicle through the intersection.
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8. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton. Detour
7 S" B$ o, g- K& {* u- H' G$ G/ ?+ vbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
V+ W& z/ l6 iday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and/ J5 `0 R/ C( V
more construction starts everyday.
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6 m2 ]% W) m) A E/ o9. Watch carefully for road hazards such as skunks, dogs, cats,$ G1 H, y9 Y; ~! F* ~( L& I/ b
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,4 r$ K% \2 ]$ M8 x
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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- g2 \3 d7 M% o* ^+ B6 q- F2 N0 N10. Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are the same" n1 K9 E' O/ `/ C
road. In the same manner, Whyte Avenue, Sherwood Park Freeway and Wye
* m- [. s( Z+ `. B4 X- fRoad are the same road; Wayne Gretzky Drive, 75 Street and$ z7 C1 s' @5 l/ L* u/ ~$ Y8 v# f2 A
66 Street are also the same road; got it?& [) q% E$ i# f: |" u) _ _- _
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11. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the3 k# Y, [2 y5 I) A! J1 @
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been 'accidentally
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12. If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km zone,2 L: N" i3 x7 h6 Y4 [) x
you are considered a road hazard and will be 'flipped off'- F& @. w V' F8 }
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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13. For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur7 u5 H) }5 U) O/ I' A
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and) Y. i1 f0 \# w9 i7 N- T3 a h
blankets in the vehicle. |
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发表于 2010-2-16 12:01
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发表于 2010-2-16 22:55
