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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON:2 c: H! M1 O9 v! Q- _+ A9 Q
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: 'ED-MIN-TIN'., Z9 ?$ m. L [9 |0 [
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 a.m. to noon. The evening rush
! c* @7 v _3 B- C% E# ehour is from noon to 8:00 p.m. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday, [$ n9 L/ D3 C1 W/ t4 Z* j7 h
morning.
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3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph. On the QE2,
; Q/ v0 F/ m( {you are expected to match the speed of the airplanes coming in for a! N) j( S. Z( E, ?
landing at the airport. Anything less is considered 'Wussy'.
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~& Y. v% F# v. o4 m" n5 z) l4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its P$ U7 n3 k, E
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
( K, ?" C2 ?" @# q+ r- P1 @' ]6 Lmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires( _' r$ `3 @2 }3 u) w3 y
go second. However, in Southwest Edmonton, SUV-driving, cell
4 b* `* G# ^1 Z$ ~' Vphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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/ G8 o3 f' z0 d$ C! {# M5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
4 @! M' B* [/ n9 v- ]* J _cussed out, and possibly shot.
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; e8 l4 g6 c9 V" v8 Y# o y$ u6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can
, A) P, J1 t+ Z2 {get you shot.
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$ {$ @: X4 p# ] q' g2 N7. Exception to Rule #6: If you are the 4th car back from a light that# w7 r% Q% w# H2 {5 X
has turned green, you must honk your horn to alert the vehicle first at5 y; W5 Z. D9 n2 K
the intersection that the light has changed. Vehicle 2 & 3 won't shoot
: ]3 @; F7 `- d# R0 Z4 A2 y, tyou as they are too busy trying to figure out how to ram the first# E/ p3 N% W# z7 V$ c ~# |
vehicle through the intersection.
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8. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton. Detour& i8 L @* P$ t9 ~+ F
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
- f$ g' L3 c) W% G9 `day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
6 V* ^' @+ A2 W1 X5 ^& l+ kmore construction starts everyday.! x: s3 w* P8 V1 F3 n8 i/ w; s3 b
& o. j2 E9 R2 g% Q# D. M8 r2 U9 w9. Watch carefully for road hazards such as skunks, dogs, cats,
K" y1 d/ T; p' [: Edeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,. M: S: E0 u8 Q
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items. v) W6 F/ z" v" b3 `3 u( L
$ c) Y, w3 s% N& }7 m10. Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are the same" ?, p. l; m0 @' q+ L' v* f( q k9 k
road. In the same manner, Whyte Avenue, Sherwood Park Freeway and Wye
/ _! l, X' {2 C r% H$ A% fRoad are the same road; Wayne Gretzky Drive, 75 Street and5 B( ]6 Z) b9 N. A7 R6 z
66 Street are also the same road; got it?) j% a. T$ Q: ?+ l
( L& d* e( U- r( H; u: Q- ]( J% n3 T11. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
% T: |7 x) Z: hshoulder immediately to let them know it has been 'accidentally4 m; d7 _% l! m( g2 M T
Activated.', A* @# n4 m. b3 J. m( m' M
% O7 z9 }# D' x) r0 S- ^& |# X12. If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km zone,! `. O: U: R- _" E; @8 E% w
you are considered a road hazard and will be 'flipped off'5 W4 ]4 ^3 [9 r' x7 B" d
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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! o) `% ] \9 {( c& i13. For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur& z0 E/ g, ~1 d# j& k! e1 [
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and8 P! d. m! v/ Y. _) y7 W2 _
blankets in the vehicle. |
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