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Tiger s Holiday Poem
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Twas the night of Thanksgiving and out of the house
4 |6 x! P/ l. ]" m& x* Q; w, |' M7 T8 HTiger Woods came a flyin', chased by his spouse.: D2 ~ ^& \* n0 a* @
She wielded a nine iron and wasn't too merry,+ W, I0 L4 E4 }+ J3 L
Cause a bimbo’s phone number was in his Blackberry.
3 U- n: b, H1 [& {6 DHe’d been cheatin' on Elin, and the story progressed.
+ f3 ^ a6 M* w WWoman after woman stepped up and confessed.1 j$ ~( J: R F8 f4 N
He’d been cheatin’ with Holly, and Jaimee, and Cori,
% d8 W4 {4 [; h( f3 WWith Joselyn, and Kalika. The world had the story.) G% C z1 [# o" B5 ]/ k7 x8 F
From the top of the Tour to the basement of blues, B+ K9 N6 l/ ?% s6 d7 l* v, k
Tiger’s sad sordid tale was all over the news.
; F4 K! X: u5 a1 r7 a6 s* oWith hostesses, waitresses, he had lots of sex,
, \; n. s; e$ X% f, e/ FWhen not in their pants, he was sendin' them texts.
( B; I9 ?9 }/ W) W* O! VDespite all his cryin’ and beggin' and pleadin',
$ s7 [+ P, _4 u8 G* i7 |1 zTiger’s wife went investin' -- a new home in Sweden .' C3 G' X/ w8 O
And I heard her exclaim from her white Escalade,
7 G- N, V5 o8 k"If you’re gettin' laid then I’m gettin' paid."
7 k0 ?% ]: Q/ Z! e3 ^& Z2 _0 VShe’s not pouting, in fact, she is of jolly good cheer,* _0 X) ]5 B% d7 O" m
Her prenup made Christmas come early this year. |
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