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Tiger s Holiday Poem
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Twas the night of Thanksgiving and out of the house% \! V1 N: u' P8 T4 J$ s( m; @3 X
Tiger Woods came a flyin', chased by his spouse.
6 y6 \, Z2 C) D% V& OShe wielded a nine iron and wasn't too merry,
: y" i; U* D8 J4 j8 l: _8 }Cause a bimbo’s phone number was in his Blackberry.- |7 S4 ]; g* Z0 b& s
He’d been cheatin' on Elin, and the story progressed.
$ N- I% x% a- f( i: k; ]% n% bWoman after woman stepped up and confessed.( u8 z) {! i2 ]
He’d been cheatin’ with Holly, and Jaimee, and Cori,3 Y9 M* w& A8 r. p/ v
With Joselyn, and Kalika. The world had the story.
% t( ~$ w/ M. y' t( t) o$ t# uFrom the top of the Tour to the basement of blues,# w8 c4 | C& Y A: V4 ]! G5 V7 b
Tiger’s sad sordid tale was all over the news.
! j/ z2 J$ m% r$ E) eWith hostesses, waitresses, he had lots of sex,
9 z7 u! j/ G& v4 m6 \' v- YWhen not in their pants, he was sendin' them texts.4 T2 `! x3 o5 G
Despite all his cryin’ and beggin' and pleadin',& _* l! M. c7 t- P# c7 W& t; b
Tiger’s wife went investin' -- a new home in Sweden .
& g. ?9 a; F- t" @And I heard her exclaim from her white Escalade,/ \+ S' f5 R1 E! U4 s' o1 G
"If you’re gettin' laid then I’m gettin' paid."
) y( C3 ^ C8 i* M& _3 r" ]She’s not pouting, in fact, she is of jolly good cheer,9 \' z& C: w; J+ A$ [* W" r
Her prenup made Christmas come early this year. |
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