 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.& V2 u: m9 M* b& P6 c3 h
! v3 N5 h! Y! K' k0 p6 X5 M
I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
2 I! p( C0 ~! `
' \2 g6 g% d* CI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.& t/ U1 m" L: ~! a* n! i
9 N( W; A! h1 m2 U& V8 V: sI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
$ G5 V- {. V: A X Z
- N) e3 ~% H6 x0 }6 l"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
W* G! O2 j' t; K
% c- p0 Y F; mI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
( E( A* W4 ]% ^1 U+ s( H: w: ^1 M# u8 S
And the second one was:* [) F* S3 x% I8 N
8 d f; [6 a+ n m' q. B
"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
+ F( e4 I, Q" F3 @
# P! j/ c. [, vI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?$ W6 F* ^, G! \" k1 x0 Q( k( c
" z5 f9 H9 ^7 I2 ^5 j+ }( ]
"What is Roe vs. Wade?": x- E3 ^# B% f- z
# ]( o4 R# ?' S* tI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
% y, |# Q2 D' C8 {
* \0 l. {/ z @2 h* S( {I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
$ V0 f1 h5 h6 l3 a f
! [3 I5 u/ K _9 l* PI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."6 m" J: @: o7 s" `
) g; H8 ?6 @- U! Z4 JSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?") W; u3 V# G, o! `1 |) _7 R- Z. q
/ y" Z3 Y2 e) x! q
Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
7 C( L2 ]2 ~7 y$ k1 z9 `: U9 E
; g; Z) k1 ?! aThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
" }( x" T: } X+ a) U6 |: b8 l6 Q$ d# ?7 j5 _
Thank you very much!
9 @/ M- ]7 p/ y W( V) s1 E4 V% M
o8 ~* q7 b3 y& Q- J+ E1 M==========================
3 z: [7 F/ b1 p9 O
8 W" C# Y) T7 ], bImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:2 W, l1 Z( j; C* s
1 Y& m% i1 Q, t; Z) F- L8 ~6 @& s1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.& T% r" S) f: y, r
: e1 B6 a) c% X" S, X2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.; l+ Q/ o( U+ l1 n/ V, u h' j# e! e
9 Z2 y& ~0 ^. L; o6 w/ f
"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion., u: ~3 E: z, D, \2 l8 p! G
, r- u' T% A4 K$ }+ s4 C3 @& TJoe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".( M- p5 A8 N0 C9 l. }
; w8 Q) r2 {! `2 ~$ }
Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
n g2 f) M7 T( g$ A
1 e; W% Q2 C/ X+ B# ~+ ~The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
|