 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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5 N- R5 M1 B" d, H$ R6 [5 A DI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.$ Y$ Y3 q8 w; H% g2 ~9 V
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:- m. V0 D5 L' e/ B
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"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?& y: r/ c5 c9 h- R/ o/ q3 c/ m, e; q
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And the second one was:
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"What's the 2nd Amendment?"+ c/ Q, |+ ^$ A9 w
, u, w D, K, A$ X4 Q/ }0 o8 GI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?* C. T5 k0 d5 j8 y/ V
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"What is Roe vs. Wade?"5 y5 V' X( O, d! _: h; @/ P
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I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!; ?; i; s8 t$ j X. O9 f' e
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."4 D2 A# E8 ?6 m1 q8 O) H
6 Z8 @! [$ M r- s; s! XSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
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+ }) y& j5 W" Q: j+ P# ~ \Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”+ x0 A% W" V! f* y3 }+ n1 `
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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) Q1 X# l1 V# d# X9 ?. gThank you very much!) \7 O( V; w3 \
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Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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1 J! R; n' P- h) b8 S% T: o1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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" q+ W) \0 f6 v6 e- m% F" k5 d"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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2 G0 _; `5 f* ?0 h! xJoe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.( A# ^9 H2 @# m V" R* y
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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