 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.* ~; n7 Z, L/ v, n8 c
8 l- L+ J& L/ k/ d
I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
" }, n. ~3 p$ b& S" }) d8 x4 z: _! D- Q
I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.6 r. j# i3 R2 d/ ` Y- ]
( ?6 A$ G( D) R' ~- \8 ]3 U9 E8 p
I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:7 o* G% [0 i) {) x
- I* k" `9 L: S"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"1 A. R" {0 ]; W* i% V$ _& `
. n' |% L- K, Y$ B& V5 K: s8 WI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
- c/ o% \/ z* N& m" ^. [# p" c1 ~2 v& Q% W
And the second one was:3 Z! C1 _" [; K% B6 U4 Y3 L, L
& ]0 p* G B5 R+ t, e( w* z o: N
"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
9 f, t, U/ L8 Q# `4 S7 F- `) ?5 Y$ Q0 R: q
I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?) u8 n6 E" f8 t6 T" d# T
" y# y2 @2 R1 l) ~' d"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
1 S" m) u$ H* t7 F' z' K5 H* i6 x% ~# C6 K
I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
6 W8 N% C& Z ]- ]7 t- ?0 E2 \! X: ]3 l. b7 ^6 G$ P+ K- b
I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
( R% M1 O% x4 W) T$ i% |
: n- o4 I; ~. d7 ^+ YI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."5 S, z/ J& _; @1 c( t7 i5 N
0 J8 ?- o' `; K1 y& C: w+ i
So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"* @, y2 U2 O/ Q8 C* T* e: T
; {* d" }1 ~! ~6 T5 d
Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
# j# h& n) @ v
8 b! U1 t: ]5 h; lThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
0 H" l' |! N2 H
4 t8 |( ~8 u2 E( A1 HThank you very much!+ z9 ^( o6 j q6 {
! E$ H/ ~: B1 Q" e
==========================1 u# E* I; B* z, E- H% ?8 Q
) ^7 [0 z+ u/ b; E' bImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
8 J5 |2 l2 d0 q' f. T& {
! t- y+ k7 s4 x" r0 Y( T9 h* o* T1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.+ z4 M# j( Z, E* ?+ @$ Y; j
3 L; I8 _' a% s' l3 n% ^; K2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.+ Z. M! @0 @$ ~# |( p0 b& k
) p7 P! Y( c2 q! M
"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion." Z0 V( C4 ~4 N$ E( p; `7 ]5 m
* ~' O2 l5 `! g. R! X
Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".( C3 u* U; p! e- v! W/ q9 M
3 h/ k; X: M. _Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.6 I+ v8 j' M( W- k3 Y
- K7 x- H: `* zThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
|