 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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/ U6 R# A& Q$ ^9 ~I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
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3 s3 o4 v- C4 L& \: VI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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( s5 Y/ b j+ F0 k( K3 K"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"9 c* ]8 E; K2 j! H$ l
5 f; g, g" i0 [I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?: }3 z, n8 N/ T# Y' O% m
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And the second one was:
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"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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2 T1 O- X& M! ]I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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"What is Roe vs. Wade?"! |. u; X- l5 ~+ P
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I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States? V2 c$ J' D( d/ m, S4 Z" K
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I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."+ a* u9 l2 B5 ^" A: e5 g, K
D/ Z/ C$ z g+ p! y5 t% SSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
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Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”" R/ b, b+ o3 J, L, o" F* ?5 o
& i$ m- R9 J$ B+ Y: \7 UThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.4 j5 n7 U! x5 C" h* }. ~
" U5 L) t* H7 }% LThank you very much!
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( G5 l) l/ f8 q) n+ s- _. EImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:0 e+ ~( P! \$ H0 X: ^+ t- i
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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5 u9 o6 I3 r @9 h% _+ s/ H2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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6 a" \1 R- A4 N A3 F# ["Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.7 I1 P. s# q- _
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".3 c8 U7 ]3 h, Q: Q d* [( D
/ q0 J' z2 V9 x/ N8 y$ M; zRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-5-5 20:01
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发表于 2009-5-5 21:39
