 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.1 u9 v I4 m5 F. k, O
- x9 }$ n. w+ P$ U( i; ^9 a7 Q& m3 ?I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you./ _3 w* ]% ^* n, J9 b
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I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
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. l* s `5 o# Q+ W7 H# b9 hI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"* z1 r; D& x D# W& B! M
6 N& l0 H6 A' X% H( GI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?( B, q# j8 f0 m; D D) z, ~
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And the second one was:: {) C, D/ N) t% z& E2 k
+ A; i- |: v& ^9 x+ O! B1 V( h9 b"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?8 b2 a* ^8 C* [7 ^& M
r1 d$ G$ E: y+ I/ ^"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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) L# t Z/ i, f: F1 [) g2 PI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!. s3 p6 K' _* ?9 D( @7 s# ^
1 {, p; p( L# ]) kI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."3 b; \' p7 z) ]+ I8 f* T
5 C( ^7 n' Y6 @7 Y' iSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"+ u S1 _5 v4 H& p6 P4 w8 S4 Z
. n( j+ L4 Z$ O3 _Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”9 _2 W" g4 T8 C3 v4 M9 u
8 m: u$ Y: Q# p: dThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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Thank you very much!6 d6 c/ Z/ a- y6 H: }
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- R1 V# Z* N* |; a& wImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.8 U# [( S6 S) c4 m% F5 h9 w5 o# B
$ {6 V4 j" {- Z# H+ |7 l) R2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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& h% h9 r6 o) n3 b& B) }"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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$ G" a: x& p B. n3 P7 V4 k! DJoe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".3 l7 l% R) K" V) w
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Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-5-5 20:01
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发表于 2009-5-5 21:39
