 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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9 d3 S& Y% T5 t; B. h2 sI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.0 m9 I( F! c0 ]9 x) c
! ]! Y! O2 E% i7 ]/ AI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
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" x. k+ @7 A1 I6 k2 I+ t) u. d9 `I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:) @" ]! t5 c- c5 M+ u2 e# x
! w! v/ f3 I. N# C+ f" x"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"4 \5 a6 V5 G' C7 g W
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?; m/ k. _5 _( j
! f2 W( D6 {! r3 j0 @- t9 n4 TAnd the second one was:
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- w8 V* G. b6 M& _2 b"What's the 2nd Amendment?"3 C' w6 ~2 W& p1 n% ]" J5 t3 x; z
; U* w, t7 x1 \/ \( T1 \. O, x/ yI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?" b: Q T" }, ~0 j/ O5 }
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"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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6 \5 s' E) ]9 F4 J( S+ `I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!" G( B1 F' u! i* W1 g
' V" d- b: [) {, h# u& QI just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."
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So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?". s2 p- p2 C7 H' ]: }/ o- a
8 }# H E4 Q7 D2 `9 ANow I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.0 c8 I4 ~2 q M3 m" ]2 Q+ [7 |
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Thank you very much!
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Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:0 C! u/ f o) O- S; A7 C7 c
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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& ^/ L! `0 k4 Y# ~: ?: O" r" X"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.2 C8 Y$ \ _7 S1 D% }% J
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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