Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
; [) F0 H( M3 T2 R7 tDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
. ~/ P' r9 x* r" f0 V9 s

: N! J  h; _2 J; ?7 Z! {JOB DESCRIPTION:
$ ~8 I( n6 ~3 s& h1 X. @% jLong term, team players needed for challenging,
  r7 Q, J9 \4 v" a( j4 }
9 T( R2 x! P- ppermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
: ^2 ]  w9 a/ tCandidates must possess excellent communication
3 S' z: A6 y1 n" sand organizational skills and be willing to work
. S" A# ], E3 E6 X. {variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
* R7 M# T( \  G/ Z2 }primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
" y# u3 S! }, C0 u5 p% m, E! \, nTravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

3 w2 s! z8 I+ T1 J% E  z5 T, IRESPONSIBILITIES:
+ x% d8 d5 Q; P2 m- \7 RThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
: _) w* C- w: w; @  `Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
; ~, `! S; s- U# R4 h% b+ @; Fand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
2 D4 f% E, R/ h) A. j, ^* I/ GMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
$ d4 Z1 c8 w# G. [, r& T8 I6 R4 gsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
* I, s/ f8 q1 E6 I( p5 y" r/ Y: xand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
$ P/ D) I( x; T2 M+ R( tcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
" }1 `  A- x+ ^Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
; S3 k- v9 r1 a! t5 ]  oMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
6 K) j2 P% w" p3 |, S+ J# Ran embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
7 w1 f+ y9 g# f+ hMust assume final, complete accountability for
. w' T3 r' d4 R6 x/ X6 N: L2 Ethe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
& G* q8 k8 R* c' ejanitorial work  throughout the facility.
6 l$ C+ F: e5 |4 |  |" P
POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
+ B* {! T; p# P* L! e6 cNone.
, j( h, W- I) u% NYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
1 C5 h# @1 }5 b& Y! Z+ vupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
7 N  T3 _# `$ ?can ultimately surpass you.

; O) w5 o' C1 b& Z
, j3 r4 Z/ Y( X6 hPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
- B" s: G! b$ |  v( c- ]# F3 jOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
; O0 i; `. x+ l
WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
# b, m" _! N' Z  Ua balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
4 K8 v, ?8 i) x9 Q9 Bof the assumption that college will help them
  [2 H" ]3 U2 u+ A3 h. S  mbecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
8 g% y% Q0 ]7 I$ J% UThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
! `' v. T; S4 R: [, S0 A: O' uyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
- i& S/ [4 A7 r0 ^( G
BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
* z4 u" y) |) M* a# `no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
' @; ^5 w3 [. ?
for life if you play your cards right.
& ]! r7 V* d$ t. o* U

& v2 U% I* b/ \
: \# N2 X; g5 i% N2 r  r+ M+ U% x
** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **


, {6 {' i6 O/ _( `" E6 b
Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.