Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
3 q. k: r: m$ F2 B& g- VDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


+ X2 G* ^: M) h, V) r" PJOB DESCRIPTION:
0 J' E% H( P) M; OLong term, team players needed for challenging,
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+ b5 t  _( a7 v9 f. z/ B+ q% Ypermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
! O1 V* q: a5 Q+ X2 R9 U7 TCandidates must possess excellent communication
" Y+ \, @+ X; Z5 @3 S( U* D" ?" |4 ?and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
7 o& X/ v/ ?6 v; oand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
) J) |! t" G5 p, a) Y1 kprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
" N1 u  D' H3 c+ f, Y+ nTravel expenses not reimbursed.
$ H& c2 y8 H" E6 S; j: Q" {5 {Extensive courier duties also required.
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  W: [5 r7 ]5 X6 `# S# u$ _! x/ HRESPONSIBILITIES:
+ J: y4 p. e$ L: Z" Q9 X! sThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
; y4 e' R% f0 S; l% g1 S$ duntil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
: T& a2 e2 q" h# {Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
8 d. l  J/ J: [- V& C$ pin case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
! }/ R1 ?* B0 n& R, M3 z4 hMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
4 ?/ |1 h0 A3 U, o) ]$ P6 R7 ysuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
" R( W+ e1 f& ^- j: rand stuck zippers.
3 q+ _  m& u: z% m0 MMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
& Y- \, N9 V; e/ l, u6 K( k' `Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
, @7 K: u+ |6 ian embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
0 X* e, m9 R" n) Y, [/ cMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
: b' T9 a. p! k# kResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

. M" G# l& O5 S. O7 `1 g. OPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
! ]. \& `: e1 R% j6 gwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
1 b/ G+ U( T0 q% ]1 ~, i# ]updating your skills, so that those in your charge
6 k- |- B' a: j! Scan ultimately surpass you.
# @7 p* X. U* W/ v* ?( ]
: V0 O) b- N; B( F* l
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
+ _5 {; Y$ u6 H! b# z( ~! H8 ]None required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
; s3 a" ~/ r4 `, X* A, [* Pa balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
" ^/ i) H* A) d; P* [of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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' J* _/ f# `& i) J, @BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
; x& P$ d' o2 x1 C% `$ w. |! V2 Hno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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& I" f$ T8 y: T5 u, @unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
) r6 A+ {  T) \) R
for life if you play your cards right.



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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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8 F, R6 G2 a! N6 C) QForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
0 Y% z2 q* D9 r1 Rletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
. U- f3 i7 K) a7 `3 Lor forward with love
. A5 y; R$ Z& c9 v; @+ C! O  Oto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.