Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
$ x- ~; ~0 n- o4 e- `& O0 M2 ?* lMom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


JOB DESCRIPTION:
. _- W. m& s( |# ]: ALong term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
. A- [& u' \0 `1 o- eand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
( U. ], C/ @: b, j5 xSome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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8 M% h/ b; P0 G+ T. DRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
" e2 G0 b! h. I" wMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
9 d$ b3 o/ I* V: D) E' v: Guntil someone needs $5.
0 M: _  o$ y8 X- r9 }$ p8 nMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
  l  }" Q" G' n4 x1 O' D; M9 nand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
6 N6 t8 r+ v) Q  {4 qin case, this time, the screams from
1 ?$ M0 E, O9 j; p9 Othe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
7 C0 o( `  M4 g8 qMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
7 n! N# m& ^& R! Kand stuck zippers.
( e* y6 G/ `* P7 N6 Y1 EMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
  N, Y& [$ J/ h3 ]" N% ohalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
* Z" d( ?8 f) y  Q: R0 B* Q* K" Q; mMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
6 u' k+ ?& A6 t* T5 h; M8 vjanitorial work  throughout the facility.
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1 l/ {* T3 [- m& B# |POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
- U6 ]7 Q2 X3 G7 r( VYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
% M, M+ b! b! V8 F/ [3 x9 uwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
5 t* u- R; ~4 U- c1 ^. v1 {& A7 Fcan ultimately surpass you.
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; }5 f3 s$ @( y" CPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
/ W1 ~% L: ^9 b% u2 I7 I1 Q& DNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
/ T- a- l' L  f' G/ J3 }a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
% l6 @7 o& G& u, Zof the assumption that college will help them
7 n# P' n& ?6 p  v  _become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
8 V. w/ ?, v" C( P# pThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

3 y7 }* T/ F3 q3 YBENEFITS:
: n. T6 y: o; C, M9 i& wWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
+ v* O3 S8 I: zno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
& g. C( z) S  D" G& |/ ethis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.



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" H- y9 k1 p( A3 T6 N** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **


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$ G* ]- ]. n$ jForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
1 t4 h/ a0 A% j9 E" m! cor forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.