Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
- K  s* C) c: Z& A# mDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


JOB DESCRIPTION:
  y! q5 I0 B1 |Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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/ c# c$ G; v% K4 Rpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
" A$ j, A. Q! ACandidates must possess excellent communication
2 |+ ?) P8 O3 m3 O# X) P& vand organizational skills and be willing to work
7 c2 b( b" A  B8 \. g- rvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
8 Z0 l6 @' ]2 x! h# F4 A" Uand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
/ G" ^2 _! C# T5 i5 M" @6 Lprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
; O2 k$ H+ i( s$ @. ^endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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' b7 Z; q+ K- ~' s2 t" d* SRESPONSIBILITIES:
! d' o6 p$ e3 H: Z8 w7 C. EThe rest of your life.
0 U) f4 y. O, l9 H2 dMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
- s, {8 J: r6 E. I2 Funtil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
9 u: U& e6 ]) P' v7 _& Bthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
1 a% \8 \) z; E# ]% p  S# z7 l7 z3 _Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
, [! s6 E! R1 [8 msuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
0 @. A2 B, f7 F( A+ Nand stuck zippers.
2 r, c6 I  z- Q  _Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
- J6 S  f0 t/ a% K9 n- Z- ]coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
" v  `. B  H$ X. V; PMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
/ a/ J7 F7 S9 P& ~Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
5 e# d: V4 H% {( t+ TMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
3 A3 f, }' t: r# r3 G  mthe quality of the end product.
0 n/ X) c2 E( r9 N  dResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

% Y/ i) Z5 ?, x6 l8 M# `9 XPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
$ }" w3 B: w  f7 B( j0 ^: V" Ocan ultimately surpass you.
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8 N, c, S5 l7 |$ }  T' w+ j$ v/ X* JPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
+ Y, ?) [6 b) e3 z$ }4 mNone required, unfortunately.
/ f0 K) p6 P$ v4 m; u5 C9 WOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
2 }2 I+ M$ g' p: X) Z) qOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
0 E! [; p9 ]' I5 f; ~( Q  `# f; E4 O+ ga balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
( @) L- n! I: W+ v) \+ m8 qof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
/ v8 {  w- _* u0 }9 P8 @+ _; gyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
6 o  u" H9 t+ A" Jthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
2 a! v' ^) P" e. g! [5 T7 N* Z
unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
( o; @1 d0 y, e/ D* Q: F, j+ I$ D/ b
) F: f% Y5 M& @: R6 y4 Cfor life if you play your cards right.

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" K( _% Y9 K4 `5 j! ~6 ]** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
% }! v6 X- s, k2 f1 c* \8 p0 {for the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.