Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
* s. e; o: ]0 `$ [Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
0 c9 J/ a. ~: R  s

JOB DESCRIPTION:
+ }/ }  k* p+ FLong term, team players needed for challenging,
  q8 y+ f9 l! w# y- F& ~7 d
* _; X4 x  R, U9 f  ?; s2 D% B; V9 jpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
- _1 D' |7 R4 p3 R9 OCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
- ?8 R& R2 [# f9 j8 P( svariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
9 a7 H! C7 p3 V7 @primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

) t$ ~& a2 H+ e% o* s7 ]" @& h& B1 dRESPONSIBILITIES:
6 a7 q& H/ v9 B4 oThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
* U$ D( T9 N5 T5 Guntil someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
$ ^6 I  n5 ~2 {' wAlso, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
3 e6 _, \9 [5 j" b7 y1 gin case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
- b, b. X0 J  E! csuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
) H- l' V- P( j0 }* uand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
1 M0 e. C+ I; [1 rcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
! P0 f2 H: F/ a& }Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
/ j* q6 t# {6 s0 I& R9 Gan embarrassment the next.
/ i5 y/ Q9 ~' f3 l, A/ \! iMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
" Y( F: c- k, N% [half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
9 J3 S$ r$ p+ w6 I$ Y2 x" nMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
8 m0 S. |) k+ x$ h  z0 n& ~3 Othe quality of the end product.
" e0 }3 C6 t+ M1 t# RResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
# S$ u2 [! G* O, ?1 LYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.


PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
8 S' d8 \7 z9 eOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

2 L4 B: H: J/ O* `" s+ q5 LWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
' S2 K% S) z1 ]9 m& GOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
+ G3 L1 c% {) r) e) Oa balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
* K  V" n9 O8 T1 Rbecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
8 Q! m9 p: U4 A5 \1 Y4 YThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
; S+ R+ m; J2 x, E% f& V) P- Xyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
+ {  U  l8 F# g/ i3 ]6 A$ e1 W
BENEFITS:
0 [+ U$ W( h+ c( \While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
9 `7 Y  ]5 V% @1 a5 E6 hno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
* O/ S5 o0 o" w& D3 fthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

$ D' y' G- X( R& \. W+ `8 ^" c0 Qfor life if you play your cards right.
% H; y+ E9 g% p/ l
) e$ E0 H; W1 ]% o3 q


** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

7 w3 G' `) Y; Q/ L: c$ I) x
# U9 j' g, M- Y2 D
Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
  G. m3 K# o  Wfor the fabulous job they do...
- r6 j( L) L7 ^5 [2 U6 U  v# Gor forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.