Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


% |. z4 D' i) _8 B* {JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

% e" b, D& M) L8 q$ u. Zpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
! _  s% w5 s+ C" r7 o$ y2 @Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
* \8 h% t0 M8 B0 S( bvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
6 \" Q, S: Y- F" q+ o3 v% [primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
& s/ V% p  _8 @Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
4 c) [( Z! ^+ LThe rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
" w. B1 q$ [( l* nuntil someone needs $5.
/ {) |9 I2 \$ x7 U, h0 K0 CMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
  ?' g" P8 S  {and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
; \7 @# L9 u! U3 L! ~in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
; R& l6 o! A8 z) B* o" S# cMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
! b* C% w6 h; g0 W# `/ S& f+ T6 S4 q# esuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
1 k' A3 U3 O2 q! [% W4 vMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
5 W7 u6 p& g% dMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
) B3 N# J+ H" ~5 P" u6 dan embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
# r3 D3 i. T  i9 vMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
" _2 h- x% b( e* A# ~! eResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
8 X. W' T: o) G
3 b3 O3 k3 W1 A, vPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
0 @& v9 d' M6 p( N' BNone.
& ^6 n: {, e$ D0 b# NYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
9 S' X; X* C7 q1 `without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
; }' z: T9 b9 v( s6 U. r0 Y

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
+ u: U7 o/ X: X" b5 nNone required, unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
, X% c, l$ H  T+ U2 R# L# M2 n* xa balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
$ W# y) K  a+ Fof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
& m. i* J3 t3 Y( C. ^When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
9 |# K; n1 H2 _, h* Y$ h4 ~you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
* ?( R# U. E# \' [0 ^no stock options are offered,
" A% Y, X$ v6 r7 J' s6 zthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
5 {: {# ]. v, ?. c
for life if you play your cards right.



; B( P4 J) J/ o5 ~
6 y2 r* X& F, I) X9 K6 i2 [, X9 x** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

4 d% m9 P- l/ Z* f
( w: t# N6 V0 Y1 y9 l. J/ y' {
: F6 ]$ K. @- Y( M: EForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
' |( p: H; U% U( N& Y! |for the fabulous job they do...
- Z- V% o  Q! U- H; N6 B, u+ Vor forward with love
8 w  f5 ^4 s# f3 J) v: r5 c4 S% Cto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
! C0 @) b1 l: p) u% T
1 m% n& x" |! Y$ h+ Y. ]

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.