Crazy English! Zt

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+ q# M: y# y6 t% |Crazy English!

1 r. S5 }. Z  K% N0 M, L% mWe'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes; But the plural of ox became oxen not oxes.

+ \6 M: r3 t" e' ]* C: bOne fowl is a goose, but two are called geese, Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.
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% m& Z( e3 {3 D( N+ l0 p2 d" GYou may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice; Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.
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; g+ [* V6 w: J) R% i. D7 CIf the plural of man is always called men, Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?

If I spoke of my foot and show you my feet, And I give you a boot, would a pair be a beet?
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& b$ h% `0 }3 i8 I, AIf one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth, Why shouldn't the plural of booths be called beet?
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Then one may be that, and three would be those, Yet hat in the plural would never be hose, and the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
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1 M9 m' @5 p! e% d2 X, NWe speak of a brother and also of brethren, But though we say mother, we never say methren.
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0 I9 O6 S0 z3 b/ b) A* y: l' PThen the masculine pronouns are he, his and him, But imagine the feminine, she, shis and shim.
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& D$ m1 ?5 l0 V1 d6 G8 ~Let's face it, English is a crazy language!

There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in a hamburger; Neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England.

! ]! \9 s# c7 Q: ?. |5 B2 L: f+ P$ `And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, Grocers done groce and hammers don't hamm?

" `* x6 O4 x9 u/ `/ D( ]$ w4 NDoesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends, but not one amend?

If you have a bunch of odds & ends, And get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
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If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?
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: ~8 I( F+ Y: k1 N( I# N1 kIf a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?
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Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?
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, x. T3 `, m5 s. U/ X: b, C. a+ |Have noses that run and feet that smell?
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How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your
( i8 k# X3 H! Z5 PHouse burns down; in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on!

Sometimes, I think all the folks who grew up speaking English Should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane