Crazy English! Zt

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Crazy English!
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9 W7 B, [, R( P1 b7 e3 pWe'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes; But the plural of ox became oxen not oxes.
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One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese, Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.

You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice; Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.

8 B5 n$ T; w! vIf the plural of man is always called men, Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?

6 {( F, H/ H( U5 ]If I spoke of my foot and show you my feet, And I give you a boot, would a pair be a beet?
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If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth, Why shouldn't the plural of booths be called beet?
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Then one may be that, and three would be those, Yet hat in the plural would never be hose, and the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
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/ N2 h7 u# e! N8 lWe speak of a brother and also of brethren, But though we say mother, we never say methren.
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( U6 V( Q1 N. h% ^5 e0 m5 o) x0 mThen the masculine pronouns are he, his and him, But imagine the feminine, she, shis and shim.
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  \* W$ C! S% [Let's face it, English is a crazy language!

There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in a hamburger; Neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England.
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And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, Grocers done groce and hammers don't hamm?

4 k, O6 l7 }: O  p! e4 G; O' hDoesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends, but not one amend?

If you have a bunch of odds & ends, And get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
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If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?

If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
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In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?
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/ b& I$ h( p5 F0 }Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?
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Have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?
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& F/ y9 j) z; B8 m& ^/ C* zYou have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your
House burns down; in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on!

1 n8 W6 J, ?* |/ Q# R5 X5 A1 zSometimes, I think all the folks who grew up speaking English Should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane