 鲜花( 310)  鸡蛋( 0)
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it's hilarious, but i didn't write it lol$ R- g2 s' b P
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Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/parents is/are taking their sweet time:
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1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.
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, n/ L+ I1 a1 D# L1 J2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
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3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.& V( `" E1 m6 j
) F# y% U) v0 |. B& [9 k4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens.
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/ {# Y4 }. x, L' Z5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
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6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area; K6 ^5 H5 c3 z/ |3 M. g
" ]% I# X2 b% c/ Q5 { i8 w8 L) ^9 V7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department.
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. C9 p% v( J. D% m" T/ b6 X3 l8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask3 x6 @7 C5 p; H7 B+ ]
'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'8 h, z' a% v; A, e& E* t8 A6 V& G
) ?- u! L& U$ R+ r" ~ X/ p/ {9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, & and pick your nose.' z: m; a+ P& M% {, P
7 X0 p; H+ j4 |* @! _10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.% \8 u7 z* h3 z( i
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11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.
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12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.; P J8 h2 N9 I, T% |; p
8 W. s. V$ H s: b' t13. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through, say PICK ME!
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W. k* K, }9 m/ ?' ^1 _14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!5 D' B/ g! H. r) |( g3 E3 ` A
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And; last, but not least!); v9 `9 ~' ^; `0 a% |- |
15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" |
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