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CEO -- Chief Embezzlement Officer.
5 X1 }4 O$ {& Z: g ~# iCFO -- Corporate Fraud Officer.
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! v' V9 Y6 C$ t! D7 _BULL MARKET -- A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.
3 v! }/ {5 A4 w% }+ aBEAR MARKET -- A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex. , T$ T+ r# e/ b. \
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VALUE INVESTING -- The art of buying low and selling lower. ' m* R% d1 U$ W
1 u3 Y4 ^+ P, Q: rP/E RATIO -- The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.
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& y2 B s% F# z- u; t1 hBROKER -- What my broker has made me.
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" D9 [; V0 h7 Z4 _0 D+ _9 _0 KSTANDARD & POOR -- Your life in a nutshell. F+ A: o& X( {5 ]1 |" O& B- X+ f
" Y% ]$ ~8 o. X4 B% G7 ySTOCK ANALYST -- Idiot who just downgraded your stock.
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$ \( J# V6 \6 q% m" ?' FSTOCK SPLIT -- When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves. * R7 ^; U' q$ m) n2 c2 {
# t- y4 w- a* P, MFINANCIAL PLANNER -- A guy whose phone has been disconnected.
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1 o _! J" c% w6 r# eMARKET CORRECTION -- The day after you buy stocks.
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$ D% J3 Q8 s/ a T0 i& P) [CASH FLOW -- The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.
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YAHOO -- What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share. 8 a! I$ n' z9 \/ |- G! f7 X
6 l" t$ t3 l" Y9 |6 Q4 }& z( AWINDOWS 2000 -- What you jump out of when you're the sucker who bought Yahoo @ $240 per share.
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INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR -- Past year investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse.
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5 X1 n2 R9 U% H4 n% x# ^; xPROFIT -- an archaic word no longer in use.
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0 s1 b$ n- o7 w" KIf you had purchased $1,000 of Delta Air Lines stock one year ago, you would have $49 left., v: _: K" s9 B2 b8 _: c" s U; ~
With Fannie Mae, you would have $2.50 left of the original $1,000.* r5 T, `' y X6 ]
With AIG, you would have less than $15 left.
- q4 R% W$ A# U+ IBut, if you had purchased $1,000 worth of beer one year ago, drunk all of the beer, then turned in the cans for the aluminum recycling REFUND, you would have $214 cash.
5 ]6 n3 Z8 g5 A' aBased on the above, the best current investment advice is to drink heavily and recycle.
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What is the difference between a Wall Street Stockbroker and a pigeon?
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A pigeon can still make a deposit on a Mercedes.
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Politicians and diapers have one thing in common... 7 Y1 Z; S/ T% V3 X
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...they should both be changed regularly and for the same reason. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2008-11-22 15:26
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