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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?7 d( Q. N3 l7 ?7 e1 ]
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Let's face it/ e) O. A8 i. i5 @
English is a stupid language.
3 d3 S; G8 a6 v& L5 y$ hThere is no egg in the eggplant, u2 h' n% {/ L# b
No ham in the hamburger
, r3 Z. Q0 L6 aAnd neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.: F; N' ~/ d! q5 z- n! d, v
English muffins were not invented in England
0 X: r1 Z. T3 c/ ~) fFrench fries were not invented in France./ g5 ]+ d7 t- Q) j6 s J' V
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We sometimes take English for granted
2 H" h0 I* G( a% \But if we examine its paradoxes we find that- w" k' R& `; y, N& R! e
Quicksand takes you down slowly1 @$ K8 v8 ]/ _& @
Boxing rings are square8 Z9 X3 O: }+ v8 c8 X' v. d- n
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. 2 r+ I# R0 l0 Z/ b
8 P7 B8 C) ~: U! r4 A" mIf writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
- U" X5 r. y& |" FIf the plural of tooth is teeth
4 P- H& B- E9 x. H6 \Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth1 `2 h; A/ y G' ~) V
If the teacher taught,1 Z6 e" b, x( M' L! B4 k5 z, K% j
Why didn't the preacher praught.! ~$ ]; H6 \) U. t' _1 ` \7 i
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If a vegetarian eats vegetables) c. m4 h9 N( o/ ^) n; W
What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
! n* C8 t7 ]) BWhy do people recite at a play
- x! S2 l- `5 D v( p% fYet play at a recital?
5 B5 t2 w8 k" P( n, i' E: }) S% BPark on driveways and
/ Q1 A0 h3 D2 [6 z+ l( L; h D( [( qDrive on parkways
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You have to marvel at the unique lunacy( ^; x2 C% d- h8 ?+ z- S
Of a language where a house can burn up as
w% k; } w' |4 S( wIt burns down
& G, [( i% ^: k9 Z+ C F' NAnd in which you fill in a form
0 D& A# `5 x3 k: A2 TBy filling it out! h5 r4 a4 ^5 s/ S* }
And a bell is only heard once it goes!
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Z+ r0 z: f! w ]# j/ T OEnglish was invented by people, not computers- R6 a% F. Q8 @9 N7 o' y- j
And it reflects the creativity of the human race
5 z" j3 @9 D& R' q* l5 l! p0 @4 O0 a9 F(Which of course isn't a race at all), W& [* i# V0 _7 C4 K5 a% R
' i/ c# L, L8 S3 KThat is why
6 G W% F Q7 g8 f" Y2 b2 aWhen the stars are out they are visible
+ Z+ z ]9 ~4 x5 H3 T, ]- M7 lBut when the lights are out they are invisible
0 h2 |3 `$ q! o! v& \- v/ LAnd why it is that when I wind up my watch0 _2 w# K9 I% T9 k0 h4 ^% Y
It starts( J7 @; T4 T8 F; ^. Z( }( R& ]
But when I wind up this observation,7 M- t9 N& Z1 J8 Q0 C2 x7 i; \; H& b
It ends. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2008-11-17 16:24
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发表于 2008-11-17 18:40
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