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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?- {% N7 @/ q: }1 L
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Let's face it
" Q* F9 @; H0 P, E/ s, zEnglish is a stupid language.
2 j7 g4 L- r2 k, ~( \There is no egg in the eggplant4 u4 T: ]9 V: `9 w, d3 X9 R! [ n
No ham in the hamburger
1 X) A' o- H+ [1 |; EAnd neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
' v: G- K2 W6 |9 HEnglish muffins were not invented in England
! F# d% t& Z# s; ?. G( LFrench fries were not invented in France.
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/ y* m4 ~3 ]& y, b9 `: W& F6 ^& fWe sometimes take English for granted
: ~: H0 b, u) V' ]But if we examine its paradoxes we find that* o* j' R' D8 y; ~1 L
Quicksand takes you down slowly1 |# o% n6 n3 N3 Y! t" i8 p
Boxing rings are square5 a# E- C: k i( @6 _2 ]) X
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
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If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
! L8 A* A" `. A' U* w5 h; ZIf the plural of tooth is teeth" ]* r! f( f) U/ Z8 L5 j# P0 k$ G8 L
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth4 m% u/ I1 N2 V% I6 I& O
If the teacher taught,# w8 u% n0 C' V6 w q8 f/ f5 y
Why didn't the preacher praught./ L; X' A' }# ?
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If a vegetarian eats vegetables! j$ V) P+ ^3 F, O& q
What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
# @" @0 T& C+ h1 ?$ ^! M6 zWhy do people recite at a play
: n2 k8 n% @$ x2 n9 T: \Yet play at a recital?
. R! x+ R3 l, u. M4 ]' i. _Park on driveways and e* m6 ?$ h' b$ b8 |/ r$ b
Drive on parkways
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0 b$ H" {8 G4 x4 k% gYou have to marvel at the unique lunacy
, F+ R/ ]0 Y# W! `) ?. K7 _& eOf a language where a house can burn up as. _+ l: v! z6 X$ _% m1 B$ l. k
It burns down* `3 c' W# t/ K* j6 q. ~% n
And in which you fill in a form / G) i) ^& D2 w R% N1 H
By filling it out' u# L3 L! y5 E" k
And a bell is only heard once it goes!
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English was invented by people, not computers
v; d/ u8 ?( K1 j/ O' m: QAnd it reflects the creativity of the human race, Y% l" M" `# Z9 F+ e% \
(Which of course isn't a race at all)
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. L1 q& M/ q0 ?. iThat is why
! C, ?) G" E2 n ^' T' bWhen the stars are out they are visible2 S& E0 |7 G+ f# C; X1 W- |
But when the lights are out they are invisible8 C: E f9 n4 E+ J5 y
And why it is that when I wind up my watch
* h1 v$ A# _( K* h' u" yIt starts
4 f. Y+ F0 Q! x. W3 t) }" ~* KBut when I wind up this observation,
( P: o9 X( q; A" AIt ends. |
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发表于 2008-11-17 16:24
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发表于 2008-11-17 18:40
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