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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?
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Let's face it4 U3 j. c6 o2 L* O( V
English is a stupid language.$ y& |) G c6 S( \& q2 e
There is no egg in the eggplant
2 k3 f' Z0 }) Y$ |No ham in the hamburger
9 X: i% N( a# Y! k: zAnd neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
) ~- ^6 c( k5 z0 Y$ b, oEnglish muffins were not invented in England
4 r6 G$ m: m! q- b) q9 e$ ZFrench fries were not invented in France.
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We sometimes take English for granted
1 B' S5 T! I3 L% E3 ?But if we examine its paradoxes we find that
: W! {; [( d7 H& W4 N1 VQuicksand takes you down slowly. A H, {0 ]$ d9 K4 c# y
Boxing rings are square, [ i. Y2 N6 i8 {- J# L" `
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. : B- U% ]5 z" m4 O2 O
2 g" c0 o% i/ S5 `* nIf writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
4 G' L" C" e" z$ fIf the plural of tooth is teeth' O) j+ f+ z3 c5 L! V$ ]
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
, ~2 b3 Z5 X2 w% ^" `If the teacher taught,
`5 v8 E+ L( t* Q, U7 O, f2 D! HWhy didn't the preacher praught.1 m* C' Z( `2 m6 ~( F; s8 X6 o$ R
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If a vegetarian eats vegetables
; N- G. q# i" E3 `# M( C5 P6 {What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
; y- q% \+ k$ I5 `Why do people recite at a play+ N/ Z1 |6 \1 w+ m, b
Yet play at a recital?
. F& |* g. }' }% o- BPark on driveways and
D' p1 n* G) m- iDrive on parkways
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You have to marvel at the unique lunacy* ]8 Q1 k4 [5 ^6 p5 \: u) A+ ~ S# I
Of a language where a house can burn up as! r X5 q! X7 I" H( X$ e
It burns down
) Z2 _; r2 P* Z1 X- p) N& UAnd in which you fill in a form
- d' O! @! |/ S+ I1 w, G" oBy filling it out( h( o" o: g, p$ R3 a% `9 H" |
And a bell is only heard once it goes!( W: T4 b- M5 n9 [! o1 ]- L- R$ {- j' D
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English was invented by people, not computers% b5 l/ ~! O+ @8 F8 s; k$ \% Z' i
And it reflects the creativity of the human race0 Z3 A4 r6 D+ w3 P8 W/ q& _5 H
(Which of course isn't a race at all)6 j) B( `+ w' U) i: g, E; D
8 H( x/ N' L- o3 E5 f, TThat is why. E# {2 Y8 O. \2 o
When the stars are out they are visible, N: u* w( M C, s
But when the lights are out they are invisible! \. o9 ^* p0 P) u$ H9 T5 f9 H: W# ?$ v
And why it is that when I wind up my watch
; v. N$ F# i5 F& CIt starts
: l4 J3 V1 w6 t$ NBut when I wind up this observation,: Z7 B ?& t$ m4 c
It ends. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2008-11-17 16:24
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发表于 2008-11-17 18:40
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