 鲜花( 152)  鸡蛋( 1)
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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?
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2 C, i ] r' G2 q3 Z/ ^Let's face it6 y& N+ H& R, A/ W2 t& b0 x
English is a stupid language.* a2 y' B& v1 U
There is no egg in the eggplant
) ~. o- U- P0 Y* o& fNo ham in the hamburger
2 o) |, n2 H; T8 S3 r$ V* M- Z/ N& GAnd neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
+ ~6 [6 ~7 k1 I- G& \4 \English muffins were not invented in England$ g; Q2 ~0 W0 ^: @5 V4 L. f
French fries were not invented in France.
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9 o2 C5 s( e6 B5 q6 l1 EWe sometimes take English for granted( z0 D! S% ]9 ~
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that
* o4 \. S: g/ Z: r. a" r5 cQuicksand takes you down slowly
/ {, h$ J- n N7 W2 m& ~" H' ~Boxing rings are square* L0 o& Z K k! g1 A+ {7 X- h3 g
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. & o! ?( N- _- t+ `. T3 k
+ N! o+ u" A+ [ x3 {7 jIf writers write, how come fingers don't fing.% W# p* C+ X o1 |5 \* i& i
If the plural of tooth is teeth# J! i, U+ F" m
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth- h6 _9 F8 V6 h% `% ?
If the teacher taught,
G2 j* a% @. O, O+ i4 S7 n0 {& }Why didn't the preacher praught.
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$ M. V5 r4 S6 J* j: d. ZIf a vegetarian eats vegetables
2 |% N/ }+ f" ?8 e- \( [2 qWhat the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
5 f. [# [+ ]2 U, V2 J7 ]2 ?9 [Why do people recite at a play8 P5 r# P; c8 n* ~) K$ D
Yet play at a recital?
2 r0 K, H( P( H' b. ]Park on driveways and9 l4 E3 {0 B: x$ M7 h
Drive on parkways- d# F: o: R$ u6 e
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You have to marvel at the unique lunacy$ Q! G! [; `* S0 V4 A, D" M1 O
Of a language where a house can burn up as
: v; e; Y6 r; c" f: QIt burns down
# f; y: `! p" V3 T/ S7 v6 a+ WAnd in which you fill in a form
3 I R/ f" r, L0 y4 D% aBy filling it out
- h; q! M+ ]' h1 y# eAnd a bell is only heard once it goes!2 U% Z+ ^ w. y, p* l
4 Q% {6 H7 Z2 g; GEnglish was invented by people, not computers |* ]2 S$ _- A4 W& {
And it reflects the creativity of the human race- R T$ C- [4 S; ` Z `( M
(Which of course isn't a race at all)
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That is why
7 t7 ] O. D( Z/ aWhen the stars are out they are visible; }4 _; q; w7 H# S
But when the lights are out they are invisible7 i7 [ C \# H. C; u
And why it is that when I wind up my watch6 O- a- e2 @, L6 D8 J
It starts n( ], K8 J& e
But when I wind up this observation,
: O2 f8 d0 z% [It ends. |
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