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weekend happyness

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发表于 2008-8-22 20:40 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new 9 O# G$ @. p4 A$ J$ ^4 m
BMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a / x4 `# U! w( x; ]2 M% V
Broni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window " l: ?8 X' W9 p! D$ k; X9 x
and asked the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your
- b  [3 N! e' c( M) S* w% {flock, will you give me one?") K2 f8 l% U0 @' d
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The shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his
0 h0 a7 E, ~! r, D& O' x  t; [peacefully-grazing flock and calmly answered, "Sure."
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The yuppie parked his car, whipped out his IBM ThinkPad and connected it to a
" Q- M' s! e: y0 `0 R# z' Rcell phone, then he surfed to a NASA page on the internet where he called up a / {- [! _0 l3 t4 U. |" C6 [# ?
GPS satellite navigation system, scanned the area, and then opened up a database
/ W3 L* _6 `2 ?& @% d( {and an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas. He sent an email on his
5 r! |# L$ o5 x! Y# e1 [, d1 n" NBlackberry and, after a few minutes, received a response. Finally, he prints out 6 G" U+ W( n  A( B) ~, D2 z$ w
a 130 page report on his miniaturized printer then turns to the shepherd and
3 l0 w( q7 G, ]. Usays,"You have exactly 1586 sheep".
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"That is correct; take one of the sheep" said the shepherd. 8 v8 c! m. J/ l# G
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He watches the young man select one of the animals and bundle it into his
( m" ?2 q6 a& xcar.
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Then the shepherd says: "If I can tell you exactly what your business
! p1 f- Z+ c' [is, will you give me back my animal?"7 Q( o% e# w1 d1 s4 {

; ^% Y% p* P7 ?) {$ y"OK, why not" answered the young man.
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"Clearly, you are a consultant" said the shepherd. & x5 v8 Z  p2 k2 a) a$ K4 f

' c4 n. X  L6 D1 F9 k"That's correct" says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"* }) g: |. s. [# F1 J2 d

7 o. V4 d# f. {, `"No guessing required" answers the shepherd. "You turned up here although
: N' o+ ~; Z' R# m" Jnobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a ' D5 m5 W' w9 v$ _
question I never asked, and you don't know crap about my business.... Now give 8 @1 A# @- y; F. c: U' E  D3 z
me back my dog".
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:41 | 显示全部楼层
a woman walks into a supermarket, and notices a male customer whose zipper is / [  s$ v. @9 C
undone. The woman kindly says" excuse me sir,but your barracks doors are open". * o' m/ d- Y" E" z* x0 d- H( A
Not having a clue what the woman was talking about he continued shopping. A few
9 @( C7 e" Z2 P; ~) Imoments later another customer approached the man and explained that his zipper
6 ~6 J% E* B8 x; n  c8 Y; p; twas undone. The man zipped up and continued his shopping. At the checkout he ran
; H$ x  ^/ M- x2 einto the woman who originally informed him of his zipper.He decides to play into
% n, `8 L! v# kher unusual comment; "excuse me maam, when you noticed my barracks door was
& a/ X2 V* F- Y  Z( q8 b" S* F- Lopen, did you happen to see a soldier standing at full attention?" The woman
1 S5 l4 e' s+ z9 I) J3 Gresponded by saying " no, all i saw was a disabled vet sitting on two duffle % x, J  y4 d9 _) Z
bags"
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:42 | 显示全部楼层
Three couples were married and stayed at the same hotel for their honeymoons, 4 U5 p6 W; Q9 [1 |+ F/ I1 Z
where they were all taken care of by Dave the Bellboy. . @5 i! {4 ~+ c4 R% M9 w( }
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The first man married a nurse. + j% F0 t1 h: u8 Y6 `8 ]$ r0 h

* f' P7 \# P; o9 ^Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "What a lucky guy.
+ a, V  a: f8 Z7 I  M. O  _Nurses are known to be hot to trot".  G( r7 X* p) h9 n- R# n

  F* b# [1 D& N% }9 uThe second man married a telephone operator.
9 |& w, M! O; A7 ~. _1 a$ `; e( N( L) S; F2 m2 ^+ \" `' l* z( ^
Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself,?Wow, he's a lucky one.
! y* @' |3 \, P+ NTelephone operators have sexy voices and once you pop that top 4 U  B; L2 Q* s% E+ ?
button...A-bomb.?
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The third man married a school teacher. 2 \# q2 A: K+ _8 K

4 S0 A! i& F) k% l; f; |; j( RDave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "Poor guy, she's pretty
' Y6 b/ \5 `7 U7 G* w. z: rbut teachers are just too frigid".+ I" c6 O1 d1 I8 I

5 F& c3 M- ^7 D/ x# g8 P) KThe next morning, Dave reported to work at 5:30 in the morning. He expected
5 J: b# ^& l0 j0 Tonly the teacher's husband to call for breakfast any minute and the other two
( n) Q* j; g' b, owould call much later in the day.
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. y6 u1 s4 [% xAt 6:00 a.m. the phone rang. It was the nurse's husband wanting breakfast. The
# P, g: G2 N" P' H/ G5 j2 cnurse's husband opened the door and Dave stepped back in shock. The man's
, v& z( I* S# o/ ]1 Vpajamas were still pressed and his hair nicely combed.
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Dave asked, "What happened sir? You married a nurse.: x  D8 w. l7 m( X
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The man sourly replies, "Son, don't ever marry a nurse. All I heard last night
/ O( M8 R# T- s0 ~/ cwas her nagging voice saying, 揧ou抮e not sanitary, and you抮e not sanitary."
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At 6:30 a.m., the phone rang again.4 y8 D; U" T6 I9 J/ [
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The telephone operator's husband called for breakfast. Dave brought it as fast
/ X& Y0 N% c7 J7 Y* |2 [6 Kas possible hoping for the best. The man opened the door and Dave stepped back
/ `' A* {# @0 m8 S# Z/ Ain shock. The man's hair and pajamas were properly combed and pressed.0 s* p7 q1 C3 {, B% e% ~! S; i2 ^

5 y6 \& [  w9 Q. [1 j* FDave asked," What happened? Telephone operators are supposed to be as sexy as 5 s6 B3 ]  Q) X8 {& f$ d; o2 ~
their voices."
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The man sourly replies "Son, don't ever marry a telephone operator. All I
8 d$ n, {& u( K& mheard last night was her nasal voice saying, "You're three minutes are up, your
# d1 u) K4 h$ \8 e; t/ p# a/ e0 Ythree minutes are up."
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Dave went back down to the desk, just knowing the teacher抯 husband would be   S, m' \7 Q% W! u& n; x; |
calling any minute.4 j) e1 J6 V! Y$ E! s

" `6 p/ _+ Y& n0 rFinally at 4:30 p.m., the teacher's husband called for breakfast.
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1 W8 V! \9 {0 ~' `2 v3 Y, j7 y$ LDave can't believe it but quickly took the breakfast to the couple抯 room. The
9 _" z5 |6 [0 p9 {- X9 Rman opened the door and Dave took a step back in shock. The man was wearing only . H7 s! B8 I! z- {' L, U+ R
his boxers, his hair was a mess, and he had scratch marks on his chest, arms and 4 T6 I/ G8 T& b
legs.
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Joe fearing the worst asked 揥hat happened to you? Did you have a # e* s3 k! T) L8 U& K/ K! X
fight?"
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The man smiled and happily replied, "No. Son, when you marry, be sure to marry
# P9 A, n. g. R( |- h( ma school teacher. All I heard last night was her sexy smooth voice saying "We
; g; U& Q5 ^' w: A: t: [are going to do this over and over, until we get right."
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发表于 2008-8-22 22:12 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
good job! thanks for sharing
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