埃德蒙顿华人社区-Edmonton China

 找回密码
 注册
查看: 5162|回复: 3

weekend happyness

[复制链接]
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-8-22 20:40 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new 7 \: w$ l0 c6 C% G) w
BMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a : C5 D$ `8 p& p% S
Broni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window 1 R5 L5 K, E1 Q0 n5 _
and asked the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your % x) z' ?, Z+ i9 z# N5 {
flock, will you give me one?"$ q& ]5 H  L5 o' d  j+ t$ H5 q
: U7 V' F7 Z8 r1 N! i* e9 [' v
The shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his
% F+ B. C& ~& K) n: `peacefully-grazing flock and calmly answered, "Sure."
0 w4 I4 Z  t* V( \: J4 B
/ `! c/ H$ w; N2 B7 v5 b. zThe yuppie parked his car, whipped out his IBM ThinkPad and connected it to a 8 T# z- s( M2 W3 V0 U
cell phone, then he surfed to a NASA page on the internet where he called up a + Y. t6 I% s7 w+ k# ]
GPS satellite navigation system, scanned the area, and then opened up a database
8 d: Z3 @) i* m6 M% [7 s# O  ^and an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas. He sent an email on his ' ]: M' Y# T& j0 I6 m
Blackberry and, after a few minutes, received a response. Finally, he prints out % k4 o0 [  s, F6 F9 m% `
a 130 page report on his miniaturized printer then turns to the shepherd and
7 }$ q# z0 U& P. J5 u$ rsays,"You have exactly 1586 sheep".
' i7 S& @$ m/ ]
5 V' Y0 G5 I( {$ F"That is correct; take one of the sheep" said the shepherd.
2 p$ k" f- n$ A# R/ p; a: R3 |/ Y4 }% t1 [8 H
He watches the young man select one of the animals and bundle it into his
) q8 h3 z" E1 q6 Z) o4 g' _4 T  Ncar.
7 f3 z! K  [8 E. z+ m" D/ J/ ^2 r
Then the shepherd says: "If I can tell you exactly what your business
9 a! H7 v  A6 j$ L) lis, will you give me back my animal?"
1 R$ U0 p# F/ J/ x/ U7 b' M9 [" r3 R  j
"OK, why not" answered the young man.) g: M$ j6 i* ?! V5 ~

( ^. j& ]2 J: Z"Clearly, you are a consultant" said the shepherd. & I& N3 p  g4 b: O0 W) X; E) E
* \0 ?% |* f# h2 j% A7 o
"That's correct" says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"5 U' x( n4 L( s8 i6 M9 L& @
8 g# d! c& J& }+ s+ }
"No guessing required" answers the shepherd. "You turned up here although " e; t' _0 M- x
nobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a 4 F2 i6 [  B* ~+ {3 F
question I never asked, and you don't know crap about my business.... Now give , ~' O2 A2 h/ Y8 n0 O
me back my dog".
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:41 | 显示全部楼层
a woman walks into a supermarket, and notices a male customer whose zipper is
8 D2 F; l  N8 a' v7 f+ E0 H. `undone. The woman kindly says" excuse me sir,but your barracks doors are open". 7 H, P8 J4 d) I$ u
Not having a clue what the woman was talking about he continued shopping. A few / y" l5 Q" _$ r2 W. f9 w4 g! M4 [
moments later another customer approached the man and explained that his zipper 0 Q. R+ B2 {7 e6 {2 S8 Y3 s7 m) v
was undone. The man zipped up and continued his shopping. At the checkout he ran
- c% U/ p( D* i% Rinto the woman who originally informed him of his zipper.He decides to play into
* J( r+ j6 F* Nher unusual comment; "excuse me maam, when you noticed my barracks door was
- K- a; }. t( b2 Vopen, did you happen to see a soldier standing at full attention?" The woman
' Z0 I1 c# B# L# i3 Wresponded by saying " no, all i saw was a disabled vet sitting on two duffle
2 d' s: W& u- c2 _: s( x) `bags"
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:42 | 显示全部楼层
Three couples were married and stayed at the same hotel for their honeymoons,
* _8 s( b4 L- y- _where they were all taken care of by Dave the Bellboy.
; H" j+ q1 e7 s3 _% u7 k! {; B. Q# n( L7 m9 i& l" a* e! a" }
The first man married a nurse. 0 a/ ?: b! z# T) {

* h/ _% C* y( _Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "What a lucky guy. 6 c2 ~9 `; L# G6 k9 b
Nurses are known to be hot to trot".$ H/ C7 G% _0 z

" B. u3 U# R8 H; j8 L5 sThe second man married a telephone operator. - `; B9 ^4 S  h3 |. D

1 K3 c9 X0 u" d5 ~& g+ F: y: `Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself,?Wow, he's a lucky one. ! F+ C/ w8 l* L1 p  V9 }0 V
Telephone operators have sexy voices and once you pop that top 8 n5 v6 @5 ^  `
button...A-bomb.?! O' K" d# W/ J7 R3 ^2 ?$ w
& \0 p0 x5 @1 i1 z# N" R, ]
The third man married a school teacher. ! Y( s( s; l+ W$ h0 s( q

# T9 B% h+ j+ w. Q* m1 |Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "Poor guy, she's pretty 6 A0 w6 X1 b, V8 L  q' D0 z$ t0 V
but teachers are just too frigid".
' _! N$ N3 `; G6 U: _7 p7 ?, A
  L( g% C# _$ l* vThe next morning, Dave reported to work at 5:30 in the morning. He expected
+ }5 x$ K, a( |0 [5 Y. Zonly the teacher's husband to call for breakfast any minute and the other two
3 v6 C2 V0 J2 e& a/ X+ jwould call much later in the day.
$ X1 [) O8 y; K" v
6 E, n% R+ T, Z/ V, y$ k. f7 FAt 6:00 a.m. the phone rang. It was the nurse's husband wanting breakfast. The ( Y/ b3 C( a* E: F
nurse's husband opened the door and Dave stepped back in shock. The man's
: I# L4 ^- t& R! Q* B3 e5 xpajamas were still pressed and his hair nicely combed.
0 j# a; o! F9 ^4 G$ r: l8 o2 ?
1 T5 H+ \7 T/ W  |! ADave asked, "What happened sir? You married a nurse.
  N) Y; V/ Z5 I% D0 c2 h; [% Y; B$ j* h; C! u5 w
The man sourly replies, "Son, don't ever marry a nurse. All I heard last night
; x7 q% k1 H  c3 {, V1 B# o" |+ cwas her nagging voice saying, 揧ou抮e not sanitary, and you抮e not sanitary."
- Z/ c3 A# V/ ]8 H8 y! v8 Q( n# f, T; b1 `2 j+ P
At 6:30 a.m., the phone rang again.
4 _- \5 K* O- `2 R* f2 @; T) K# N4 C: m
The telephone operator's husband called for breakfast. Dave brought it as fast
- E" C# ^3 Z3 S4 C7 B% \as possible hoping for the best. The man opened the door and Dave stepped back * r( ~( d" ~4 E. `+ M! A' f
in shock. The man's hair and pajamas were properly combed and pressed.
8 \* o% d5 [- j# h7 G/ {
4 k7 a/ V/ Q0 s) l7 ?. FDave asked," What happened? Telephone operators are supposed to be as sexy as
4 I& B% c0 b! p" n7 p& z5 }their voices."
- ?- f; P. L; B; X8 O$ F
" w9 R- Z6 F/ FThe man sourly replies "Son, don't ever marry a telephone operator. All I
2 o6 h( Y2 [, ~; \, Jheard last night was her nasal voice saying, "You're three minutes are up, your % r; {. }7 p% m; i' A
three minutes are up." ; i3 K6 f8 }* |+ {& b

6 D  r$ a! t% n( c- L. B* mDave went back down to the desk, just knowing the teacher抯 husband would be
2 Z3 }6 Q$ V* C" |- k7 a1 [calling any minute.
  m  j. S/ L9 P9 |0 l0 W3 r9 Q9 E1 p+ _: c) d
Finally at 4:30 p.m., the teacher's husband called for breakfast.3 w5 I; g6 o* g( N: p

, W+ K6 R; O4 S% V% F. \Dave can't believe it but quickly took the breakfast to the couple抯 room. The 7 S4 M4 [% x+ j5 F+ o! h5 z  E
man opened the door and Dave took a step back in shock. The man was wearing only ! o. _& w5 L' S* O3 f% a: F* U3 V8 k
his boxers, his hair was a mess, and he had scratch marks on his chest, arms and
! J/ B$ _( e; |; ?% Z5 o8 llegs.& L$ D" [3 x/ Y& e! k
  D3 K/ o. ]( U7 }
Joe fearing the worst asked 揥hat happened to you? Did you have a 8 p% W: `3 q1 [, I& t& j
fight?" : t  f; R6 R3 A- t5 g* t5 G# {9 H8 b
" s+ K- a3 p% g- j! S7 R0 i
The man smiled and happily replied, "No. Son, when you marry, be sure to marry % _7 X' D9 X! L8 k$ ?, P( Z) t
a school teacher. All I heard last night was her sexy smooth voice saying "We . I5 e  l- E! U5 k# ^* S- i
are going to do this over and over, until we get right."
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2008-8-22 22:12 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
good job! thanks for sharing
您需要登录后才可以回帖 登录 | 注册

本版积分规则

联系我们|小黑屋|手机版|Archiver|埃德蒙顿中文网

GMT-7, 2026-9-21 11:46 , Processed in 0.409260 second(s), 12 queries , Gzip On, APC On.

Powered by Discuz! X3.4

Copyright © 2001-2021, Tencent Cloud.

快速回复 返回顶部 返回列表