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weekend happyness

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发表于 2008-8-22 20:40 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new $ m3 I" |# u0 p# C
BMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young man in a - c  L* l3 ]( N& ~8 V2 W
Broni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window
1 |% P0 Z* c' ^and asked the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your
( S2 p$ B3 u8 P- v& L  f; U* _$ Cflock, will you give me one?"
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; `0 Z$ U- Y# i6 o" N/ rThe shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his
" a% f: ^0 g# _, e$ C  \1 Fpeacefully-grazing flock and calmly answered, "Sure."
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, O6 |. i/ g7 }/ g/ r/ bThe yuppie parked his car, whipped out his IBM ThinkPad and connected it to a
' B5 m2 N) @6 h+ k2 ncell phone, then he surfed to a NASA page on the internet where he called up a   A  b0 T' h: P  }+ U5 h
GPS satellite navigation system, scanned the area, and then opened up a database " ~/ u$ P# `' y; x4 f
and an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas. He sent an email on his # c6 B; m7 U2 P4 C; }3 i
Blackberry and, after a few minutes, received a response. Finally, he prints out 3 H: P% W, P& s$ p
a 130 page report on his miniaturized printer then turns to the shepherd and
( b8 y; G- J' R% Usays,"You have exactly 1586 sheep".
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* ?, H% i8 n. R6 {; y/ M"That is correct; take one of the sheep" said the shepherd.
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He watches the young man select one of the animals and bundle it into his
, C( \! T: Z: o0 K2 gcar.
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Then the shepherd says: "If I can tell you exactly what your business
; F( z) ]# D$ D; _% }! kis, will you give me back my animal?"
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3 s  P! E3 u$ [' r" q- G/ a1 C"OK, why not" answered the young man.
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7 j) s1 Y) s- o& O4 x"Clearly, you are a consultant" said the shepherd.
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( C  ~* v+ Y) [' [9 x) J"That's correct" says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"
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"No guessing required" answers the shepherd. "You turned up here although * `* T# s, u8 j6 j2 W$ ?7 u0 q7 k* U
nobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a
1 l7 O7 Y4 ^! Fquestion I never asked, and you don't know crap about my business.... Now give
5 k7 l, Z" ~" Nme back my dog".
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:41 | 显示全部楼层
a woman walks into a supermarket, and notices a male customer whose zipper is . ^/ u& A( u, }2 C, ?
undone. The woman kindly says" excuse me sir,but your barracks doors are open".
3 Y1 x* t0 N/ {$ R+ `Not having a clue what the woman was talking about he continued shopping. A few
; r& D. u" D" f1 Y9 C( [moments later another customer approached the man and explained that his zipper 4 l3 Y; M6 g, `4 [' e5 K
was undone. The man zipped up and continued his shopping. At the checkout he ran 9 n+ V! e8 M. U0 z$ ^
into the woman who originally informed him of his zipper.He decides to play into 2 Q" D4 _% K' m# F8 ]
her unusual comment; "excuse me maam, when you noticed my barracks door was
$ ~5 b! t! i/ ?- `! g; G4 E" eopen, did you happen to see a soldier standing at full attention?" The woman 8 b$ s2 S" l' ?' X' N- }4 S
responded by saying " no, all i saw was a disabled vet sitting on two duffle
2 |# S( o: Q* e; {bags"
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-8-22 20:42 | 显示全部楼层
Three couples were married and stayed at the same hotel for their honeymoons, ' R9 ?1 _2 R' X
where they were all taken care of by Dave the Bellboy.
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The first man married a nurse.
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. O7 q. n/ |7 y& GDave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "What a lucky guy.
+ n& a7 ]6 r, U+ T+ d2 \Nurses are known to be hot to trot".
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The second man married a telephone operator.
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Dave showed them to their room and thought to himself,?Wow, he's a lucky one.   \9 P  a5 u3 K2 p2 B  z
Telephone operators have sexy voices and once you pop that top ! b. U8 F- q5 T7 ?% r/ H
button...A-bomb.?
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9 h# x5 {2 o0 W: ^The third man married a school teacher. . Y+ f! p( L7 P6 M; ~) Q

# t! B( c# D9 R) S( b* ~6 RDave showed them to their room and thought to himself, "Poor guy, she's pretty 0 ]6 `7 g! l8 b% Z+ T
but teachers are just too frigid".0 T& q1 \0 E, S1 G4 ^
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The next morning, Dave reported to work at 5:30 in the morning. He expected
  X( L3 i8 n$ @. A; _$ jonly the teacher's husband to call for breakfast any minute and the other two
" Q/ Z, R3 a, N$ dwould call much later in the day.+ D2 p8 ~' E# r2 x( d# a6 w
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At 6:00 a.m. the phone rang. It was the nurse's husband wanting breakfast. The
5 J& Y4 W: T0 J9 e$ J  I$ l8 ynurse's husband opened the door and Dave stepped back in shock. The man's
/ y! Y( ?1 c4 H/ k5 npajamas were still pressed and his hair nicely combed.
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Dave asked, "What happened sir? You married a nurse.( h* R5 P: ~: G

, F, j5 R- v9 ?) rThe man sourly replies, "Son, don't ever marry a nurse. All I heard last night
2 s" f2 b" f9 Z3 H: Zwas her nagging voice saying, 揧ou抮e not sanitary, and you抮e not sanitary."
6 z' Y$ h1 i7 R; o) {  q3 O3 L0 ~( X( w) N, f2 Z- A5 z0 y4 C4 h
At 6:30 a.m., the phone rang again.
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( t7 F  m+ d/ }" U2 \* OThe telephone operator's husband called for breakfast. Dave brought it as fast
# s! P+ W: s  ]as possible hoping for the best. The man opened the door and Dave stepped back % z$ N$ X$ y" T+ D' A+ s
in shock. The man's hair and pajamas were properly combed and pressed.
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Dave asked," What happened? Telephone operators are supposed to be as sexy as
& I9 `: z+ _  J$ r( g3 ytheir voices." 9 w; w7 o) w8 F6 X4 _2 D

" l3 ]! ^; s+ c  r( ^) BThe man sourly replies "Son, don't ever marry a telephone operator. All I
7 m4 B" v9 R5 i4 ^9 W% Mheard last night was her nasal voice saying, "You're three minutes are up, your % U  V( d5 A8 E9 F, B
three minutes are up."
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0 {8 c$ `4 @+ q/ @) ZDave went back down to the desk, just knowing the teacher抯 husband would be - ~3 D+ M# M- d2 l& H
calling any minute.5 y8 {( ]6 k8 W% w! a2 S& f
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Finally at 4:30 p.m., the teacher's husband called for breakfast.9 Y, w6 d9 i( R) Z, g

$ f% a! n" p( m7 E( E/ oDave can't believe it but quickly took the breakfast to the couple抯 room. The
  |! m8 ?$ U" Q. J; ]man opened the door and Dave took a step back in shock. The man was wearing only 9 p) h+ M  i4 U' e3 c
his boxers, his hair was a mess, and he had scratch marks on his chest, arms and
. D. r6 j1 E* _2 V$ C8 ~legs., }- u% [+ T$ \9 S

$ Y, S7 g" Q2 A# @$ _2 P( gJoe fearing the worst asked 揥hat happened to you? Did you have a # _# C6 g' F' Z  q
fight?"
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The man smiled and happily replied, "No. Son, when you marry, be sure to marry
/ e3 p! v7 e3 T- V- d7 V8 B$ }9 ^a school teacher. All I heard last night was her sexy smooth voice saying "We
& X  m: G/ r- m* J( gare going to do this over and over, until we get right."
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发表于 2008-8-22 22:12 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
good job! thanks for sharing
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