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LITTLE TONY'S REASONING LESSON 0 P' P+ q0 q4 Z* B
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> > > >A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence
. j' q! x9 }5 G/ r$ P% F, h> > > >and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on $ I) g( n" F+ w# _9 j: K+ A; o: B# q3 c
> > > >little TONY. / `7 T9 Z' ]* I! O ^% q2 G
> > > >He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot."
( i. M |7 A! m: [- E* @ l% k> > > >The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your
) \+ K$ e6 v4 L1 J$ U>thinking." + f/ \, ?& z3 C9 E3 s: _
> > > >Then little TONY says, "I have a question for YOU. There are 3 women 8 N; Z+ [" y, k- ?
> > > >sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the ' T" |* i. j7 p; q# H% B
> > > >sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the
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> > > >top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice
% H% e$ P7 ?( b; k; _* s>cream. # c+ U3 p& ?' O( N3 \
> > > >Which one is married?" 7 d9 a Z. Z7 ]5 d* ]: t8 {
> > > >The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, "Well, I suppose the . t# v; @: U' L$ h3 n9 B- N
> > > >one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone." 1 G) p; t/ p# [9 m6 U; P! s
> > > >To which Little TONY replied, "The correct answer is 'the one with
3 v" y. s% C g/ m8 f+ \* C0 @1 n( B> > > >the wedding ring on', but I like your thinking."
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: q: d1 A/ I3 j> > > >LITTLE TONY ON MATH
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/ t0 t/ v6 U% p- T2 ^% E> > > >Little TONY returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic. 7 H2 q4 r. b" H# g* y
> > > >"Why?" asks the father.
/ ^! E( W* g3 g. s: x0 i3 h> > > >"The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3', I said '6'," replies TONY.
" S4 O6 O) x' `6 g> > > >"But that's right!" says his dad.
) I# c; \# A, v% `1 T* d> > > >"Yeah, but then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?' "
1 g( l$ V$ j: K/ N) o' a> > > >"What's the 法克ing difference?" asks the father. 0 l" {4 S, h4 g7 O0 p# C5 G
> > > >"That's what I said!" 8 }$ l2 R: C" s: {
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> > > >LITTLE TONY ON ENGLISH
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> > > >Little TONY goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are ], {- L) C5 J. e: V/ B
> > > >going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an
, c* s9 O0 P- ?- i+ x0 h. }> > > >example of a multi-syllable word?" 8 Z, f" b/ r j. e! O
> > > >TONY says "Masturbate."
* z$ _6 A; B+ U; o: o$ [> > > >Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, little TONY, that's a mouthful."
2 ?" a7 A# V' r( ~$ B> > > >Little TONY says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."
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> > > >LITTLE TONY ON GRAMMAR
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> > > >Little TONY was sitting in class one day. All of a sudden, he needed
% M# B$ b8 b& b> > > >to go to the bathroom. He yelled out, "Miss Jones, I need to take a ! y5 c& f. V6 J: J! F8 d
> > > >piss!!" * F0 Q5 D6 n- U) Q$ [7 T& }
> > > >The teacher replied, "Now, TONY, that is NOT the proper word to use
* w2 p6 V4 O% w% j# X3 A/ I> > > >in this situation. The correct word you want to use is 'urinate'.
4 ~: Q2 a" i/ L4 S8 Q% m> > > >Please use the word 'urinate' in a sentence correctly, and I will / W! p/ U& I* E n: ]1 v5 w
> > > >allow " K) i! d. v$ z- H; G
> > > >you to go." 3 O/ K- O3 ^% ]' h/ r
> > > >Little TONY, thinks for a bit, and then says, "You're an eight, but ) K+ b; h$ K( m% @: k2 l0 u
> > > >if you had bigger tits, you'd be a TEN!"
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& [1 @- F' b- i( h; _3 `> > > >LITTLE TONY ON GRAMMAR . x$ A8 g; ~. z# J' A! s/ S
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% l7 r% `( F" I. `1 H> > > >One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a
9 ?1 C1 f1 G. _> > > >show of hands from those who could use the! Word "beautiful" in the
7 r3 B9 u, g9 i# M> > > >same sentence twice. ' B* n3 W8 X5 H( b& G
> > > >First, she called on little Suzy, who responded with, "My father ( v) I( Y* D- l7 B, t
> > > >bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it."
& N1 ]- c$ O8 G> > > >"Very good, Suzy," replied the teacher. She then called on little U% E) Q$ ?7 {& s, ?" }
> > > >Michael. "My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out
% Y: g2 ]$ b% d7 e> > > >beautifully." 6 N( D! Y* @8 |4 _6 N
> > > >She said, "Excellent, Michael!" Then the teacher reluctantly * L4 H- x; \3 v3 A8 V( ^, a5 X
> > > >called on little TONY. % Q A2 [$ c# @" l) }: V
> > > >"Last night at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she
- _/ j; `* l; `# Q- P* e% X+ x1 z> > > >was pregnant, and he said 'Beautiful, just 法克ing beautiful!"
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+ o9 V/ } L% N& z> > > >LITTLE TONY ON GETTING OLDER 7 Q# ]4 N6 X3 A8 p! @" e: t
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R) N0 Y$ O& L1 v" v> > > >Little TONY was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar . M9 `* }' R' C! O
> > > >after another. After the 6th one a man on the bench across from him . A6 H* w+ s; _
> > > >said, "Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It
1 P. p- E c2 F; }9 E% l> > > >will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat."
' X4 l( j9 t7 g" F9 h5 w- [2 M6 o> > > >Little TONY replied, "My grandfather lived to be 107 years old." # o ]+ e$ M5 q' j
> > > >The man asked, "Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?"
8 S, r( C& t: f6 n- P% \& ]1 Y: B> > > >Little TONY answered, "No, he minded his own 法克ing business |
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发表于 2008-5-9 19:16
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