Just For A Laugh : LITTLE TONY'S REASONING LESSON

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LITTLE TONY'S REASONING LESSON
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2 p/ E* Q0 i+ _. A3 U7 G> > > >A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence
0 |, O# c- b5 f: `4 ~> > > >and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on
- M; @  \) g: R# T) B9 ^9 ~1 U> > > >little TONY.
5 w) n9 E8 ~8 b7 w> > > >He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot."
; P# ^$ e* t+ X) o3 [5 C> > > >The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your
6 r9 [& ~0 X- o1 ?>thinking."
> > > >Then little TONY says, "I have a question for YOU. There are 3 women
> > > >sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the
> > > >sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the
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  x) g+ D2 A" u- L+ s9 ^$ L> > > >top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice
>cream.
> > > >Which one is married?"
> > > >The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, "Well, I suppose the
> > > >one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."
4 j8 L* G, \/ g$ P1 m> > > >To which Little TONY replied, "The correct answer is 'the one with
* r4 ]7 H* w% I; K1 c> > > >the wedding ring on', but I like your thinking."
> > > >
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5 P5 |9 J- _) N2 E> > > >LITTLE TONY ON MATH
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> > > >Little TONY returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.
; {0 N& A, ?2 j1 s7 J> > > >"Why?" asks the father.
& k' T, p, h* u/ y$ r5 Y% \> > > >"The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3', I said '6'," replies TONY.
> > > >"But that's right!" says his dad.
& \) h2 L" l; l4 P  v! L) Z> > > >"Yeah, but then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?' "
> > > >"What's the 法克ing difference?" asks the father.
> > > >"That's what I said!"
> > > >
> > > >
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> > > >LITTLE TONY ON ENGLISH
> > > >
# M5 Z' \1 x  k+ ?> > > >Little TONY goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are
7 z( U# B- s0 B  Z> > > >going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an
> > > >example of a multi-syllable word?"
* J, m4 \! `7 r* s; X1 g> > > >TONY says "Masturbate."
> > > >Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, little TONY, that's a mouthful."
> > > >Little TONY says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."
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> > > >
> > > >LITTLE TONY ON GRAMMAR
> > > >
> > > >Little TONY was sitting in class one day. All of a sudden, he needed
> > > >to go to the bathroom. He yelled out, "Miss Jones, I need to take a
> > > >piss!!"
+ o  ^9 ?* p* z8 n# l8 ~> > > >The teacher replied, "Now, TONY, that is NOT the proper word to use
> > > >in this situation. The correct word you want to use is 'urinate'.
> > > >Please use the word 'urinate' in a sentence correctly, and I will
% J1 A+ f! U3 b+ L/ e* `: G> > > >allow
> > > >you to go."
, {% L+ Q$ A  O- u> > > >Little TONY, thinks for a bit, and then says, "You're an eight, but
> > > >if you had bigger tits, you'd be a TEN!"
> > > >
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> > > >LITTLE TONY ON GRAMMAR
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% E2 U+ [/ a5 x, `0 |> > > >One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a
$ U6 f( W8 N) m2 Y! i0 P; L> > > >show of hands from those who could use the! Word "beautiful" in the
> > > >same sentence twice.
> > > >First, she called on little Suzy, who responded with, "My father
# F4 q0 d, Z8 \: W3 J- F" f> > > >bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it."
2 f. x: M8 O5 f6 L> > > >"Very good, Suzy," replied the teacher. She then called on little
> > > >Michael. "My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out
. J, W& m0 a0 i) N0 n6 z  V8 }> > > >beautifully."
> > > >She said, "Excellent, Michael!" Then the teacher reluctantly
> > > >called on little TONY.
: r* L  G+ X5 Q> > > >"Last night at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she
& h. |. X( W7 `; D1 J& Y1 E> > > >was pregnant, and he said 'Beautiful, just 法克ing beautiful!"
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1 ?/ G# {5 g$ z# G1 I> > > >LITTLE TONY ON GETTING OLDER
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> > > >Little TONY was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar
> > > >after another. After the 6th one a man on the bench across from him
> > > >said, "Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It
6 x+ |" _7 _8 N> > > >will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat."
> > > >Little TONY replied, "My grandfather lived to be 107 years old."
# k( x& [' g  W! e> > > >The man asked, "Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?"
> > > >Little TONY answered, "No, he minded his own 法克ing business