Just For A Laugh : LITTLE TONY'S REASONING LESSON

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LITTLE TONY'S REASONING LESSON
> > > >
7 Q. \8 q/ @" [$ @6 h> > > >A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence
> > > >and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on
> > > >little TONY.
> > > >He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot."
> > > >The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your
>thinking."
# V. u( G, D; U  U4 D8 z- M1 h> > > >Then little TONY says, "I have a question for YOU. There are 3 women
> > > >sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the
9 @. |, a1 R; V' m# J> > > >sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the
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> > > >top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice
% H. C# X2 x; s, h; @( K5 Q>cream.
; ?! Q  h$ g* ?> > > >Which one is married?"
% e4 H1 }6 _* g6 [8 j5 B> > > >The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, "Well, I suppose the
1 ~" y: W% M; ]1 P5 S  X/ e  F> > > >one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."
> > > >To which Little TONY replied, "The correct answer is 'the one with
  ]# t" l6 M3 @1 {4 o  i) T; Q> > > >the wedding ring on', but I like your thinking."
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> > > >
> > > >LITTLE TONY ON MATH
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> > > >Little TONY returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.
> > > >"Why?" asks the father.
+ [8 R- \8 s; F1 x+ I! r> > > >"The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3', I said '6'," replies TONY.
> > > >"But that's right!" says his dad.
3 q* |6 n& m' }$ T* M3 P> > > >"Yeah, but then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?' "
> > > >"What's the 法克ing difference?" asks the father.
> > > >"That's what I said!"
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> > > >
- K$ w2 ^6 ~" a$ p7 O> > > >LITTLE TONY ON ENGLISH
> > > >
> > > >Little TONY goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are
> > > >going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an
  p* S5 _* a# X4 c2 S> > > >example of a multi-syllable word?"
5 c' J5 i  r+ _' a+ Y# d: b/ t> > > >TONY says "Masturbate."
> > > >Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, little TONY, that's a mouthful."
1 `5 g6 D0 e7 ]+ w> > > >Little TONY says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."
> > > >
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% O  U3 F; Q, s  ~" E" R; p> > > >LITTLE TONY ON GRAMMAR
> > > >
> > > >Little TONY was sitting in class one day. All of a sudden, he needed
> > > >to go to the bathroom. He yelled out, "Miss Jones, I need to take a
> > > >piss!!"
> > > >The teacher replied, "Now, TONY, that is NOT the proper word to use
9 q, F: x0 Q6 l2 V' x; V> > > >in this situation. The correct word you want to use is 'urinate'.
> > > >Please use the word 'urinate' in a sentence correctly, and I will
> > > >allow
1 W; I) f8 t* i> > > >you to go."
  u8 d( |; X& N. j% {0 m> > > >Little TONY, thinks for a bit, and then says, "You're an eight, but
> > > >if you had bigger tits, you'd be a TEN!"
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >LITTLE TONY ON GRAMMAR
> > > >
! t5 z( S% y- u/ R% S2 M! S: E# \9 e> > > >One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a
> > > >show of hands from those who could use the! Word "beautiful" in the
> > > >same sentence twice.
> > > >First, she called on little Suzy, who responded with, "My father
> > > >bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it."
) e3 s6 R8 X+ q/ i- A: q, X> > > >"Very good, Suzy," replied the teacher. She then called on little
4 P4 f& ~" R( g: Z/ |# ?  }> > > >Michael. "My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out
> > > >beautifully."
: o- j9 {' l+ r8 V# S> > > >She said, "Excellent, Michael!" Then the teacher reluctantly
7 G- ?/ @3 y, |, H7 L2 z7 k) K> > > >called on little TONY.
> > > >"Last night at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she
> > > >was pregnant, and he said 'Beautiful, just 法克ing beautiful!"
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! i) ^* W1 Q$ W) C# A( X> > > >LITTLE TONY ON GETTING OLDER
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> > > >Little TONY was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar
3 O/ ~" p7 O2 x" D2 `- B+ ^> > > >after another. After the 6th one a man on the bench across from him
> > > >said, "Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It
> > > >will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat."
4 r5 b3 |7 D& e7 R! j> > > >Little TONY replied, "My grandfather lived to be 107 years old."
> > > >The man asked, "Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?"
4 U7 h$ n) m5 A3 M' l$ G( f> > > >Little TONY answered, "No, he minded his own 法克ing business