 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
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+ `! g$ b5 O+ g# |4 WTake off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.8 j* v8 x e( x1 X$ x
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. & a0 A5 s3 A3 ?$ Q8 c& U
4 M7 T9 ? b' R9 G+ tIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror --
! d- {9 v% |& xmake mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
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; F+ U8 ?) l0 F2 a; pGet in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. 2 ^+ _) r6 n6 {/ ~9 O9 I h
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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" \( |% \, g: V' \Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..; {% t( l# I. E% m- |
# H, e5 ^$ H: H2 `/ C, ]Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. , V4 t1 n' d; [& s0 h8 {
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Rinse conditioner off hair.' W0 R/ W3 F: k" o
\7 l. ?2 K( M' M2 N7 o$ WShave armpits and legs.
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' P; T# e3 f( }9 ATurn off shower.9 h$ l! a* a$ X, @' s3 w
/ L1 b5 e! _* b1 G; ?Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
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& b! j! g- H8 i Z& x9 ySpray mold spots with Tilex. 1 d' Z4 d9 ^. R0 w7 ?4 A
6 H5 H6 N; I' \' P6 {. xGet out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
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Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. ! @3 I! j# X: y; E+ X7 d
6 W O6 d9 m" B$ ]2 T6 N8 {4 u' aReturn to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. . c; H2 V4 g7 w; d
5 y5 \% F0 ~6 [6 G) r6 o' WIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. ' ?; F/ E7 c0 \; R6 P9 V% }
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
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Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
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$ i9 E9 F9 t7 ]: IWalk naked to the bathroom.! Q: Q" P+ a9 Y M6 ^
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If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. 3 I- B( n/ U9 N
X( j7 o- A. w0 M1 f6 pLook at your manly physique in the mirror. 4 ]+ e# j8 a0 k8 a$ D x
% l, K! [/ Y( [5 c. ]Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. 1 ~$ H3 R1 Q7 P$ P/ g# ~, v9 k
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Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. % b: M5 e: o( K$ l s
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
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Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. % ^8 s( j) V1 Q; A/ W; m7 L$ \! X
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Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. 8 s, F: w# k" a; m8 W9 s
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Pee.
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Rinse off and get out of shower. . e$ u1 r% U. y6 X1 }
& i, ]% `# }% c2 p! \) q# lPartially dry off.+ x+ p m0 {, _. h2 K) F/ i
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Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
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( T" B$ ~7 i5 ^0 m" M4 Q9 v0 _Admire wiener size in mirror again. ( d& w& O& q" I) T6 r1 R4 w
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. o9 x+ r, w( O" F1 G8 i
) m G# F5 U2 l m' u* f9 SReturn to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. " }( Q4 i, }- {) g" n5 U
- a$ D) j/ F' G3 f) I, lThrow wet towel on bed. 3 R. r' I. w' u9 U# ?
/ |5 W. f& E/ ]: FIf there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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