 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : 9 r, d( W: e/ a- m3 U7 B7 ?! l
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0 n5 W! \. z; {) K* h, R8 P1 h: HTake off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
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( a `* B" Q- o+ V9 V9 wWalk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
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+ D4 }+ `: T4 r/ I: |If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.4 z: v( [* f/ l
3 ^ K; I; x% Q! p7 _9 B& Y; |* vLook at your womanly physique in the mirror -- 6 @8 ?7 G! j; w/ b' G$ P7 I) @
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.9 |( d/ C, }' l# m
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. 9 T, H: E. e: {5 Y
v0 O; z! W' m" Y; \/ T- N1 GWash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..- m& Z! y n( i$ }# Z) E g9 ^) L
8 \( L: N% ?/ l- H* d3 D& G& h. M6 XWash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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4 Z! N+ m9 W: W. l+ N( D9 bWash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. : C' W4 E: ^ k; W" b8 s
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Rinse conditioner off hair.
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4 S5 g e' g- [, k, G. z1 i8 bShave armpits and legs.* ^) |& |* |! x( d
- z* a, E, Q1 Z, H% Y1 ~0 N0 V) \Turn off shower.- L7 U! m' L: ?' q( l9 T
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Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.% y" C; k2 L8 u! c
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Spray mold spots with Tilex. 8 |" E) f' _, k# j
: y- A" p9 \: ]Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. ! V2 j Z: @5 u7 p# F5 t3 P1 i
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Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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! q& E- z3 b" S; P& h1 \Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: 0 F& }5 H0 B! C' C+ v% o
' \$ y) h; H. O2 l& _- \: pTake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
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Walk naked to the bathroom.9 W+ a, U4 { r- ?8 Z6 b* T
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If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. 1 w9 g9 k+ D6 ^+ Q4 _- k
7 \: w* @4 R8 w7 h+ @Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
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# p3 y, r8 e/ S$ V% QAdmire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. 5 F- n. \$ s: K
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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( k+ v, t% r) i* q2 a* }Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. , F& X8 A7 p+ U) F/ Y6 Y$ O
: V4 n2 a6 B4 m! `3 }( A$ TFart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
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9 U+ c8 s5 H5 u. ^$ a% q+ N4 iWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. - W2 I( Q' n' a1 N
& r2 x" ]* f7 H ]' ]* X% }9 dPee. ; {# t `3 H% a
+ x8 E6 N" z) R6 q5 O* A4 y: }# @* iRinse off and get out of shower. # Y/ A7 y) ^" U5 f
5 u- T0 b* [5 H# z4 YPartially dry off.) M; E$ `7 W; U7 Y/ R- @
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Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
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Admire wiener size in mirror again.
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8 f( ]- S5 d$ B# f7 xLeave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. ( X* O5 D* R. i6 J9 w5 P7 p9 A
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. ( t% n- y# W K3 l# C
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Throw wet towel on bed. # _! S7 @/ o2 @+ e8 Q6 W- m1 T, b
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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