 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
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Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. . p% X# ^, c3 M# E
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- 3 g" h% @% Z5 V
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
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+ t( X6 {2 d2 {$ Z. [2 \0 l, TGet in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. : G, w( i. V8 u% U e1 v
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. . P4 L4 o: b6 u1 Z* x
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.* ?, B9 U/ |) q: }
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..3 L, T1 B, e6 W6 U m
* ]+ ~4 C9 T/ G+ F, d" jWash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. n0 y: ?; }+ c' _
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Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
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2 Q L+ V7 ^- I- m+ e; c" P1 iRinse conditioner off hair.) E; k8 O* q: ^- m7 f( _
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Shave armpits and legs.
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9 {* G6 s2 v7 ^; b1 yTurn off shower.8 L: v( {4 S5 ?3 b* O
- q( h1 |8 h' ? eSqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower.( q4 t4 R9 y0 Y8 ]& U' ~
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Spray mold spots with Tilex. : R4 |9 @' }! x( U; F; L
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Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. 3 h t9 d: S' Y; `0 A9 n
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Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. , y, o4 k w( g! @2 \1 p: X8 e/ J
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. 9 e1 {, E+ L7 v/ E
. A7 z# ]" v7 [1 S# d. U% E1 c. PIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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! f/ s9 f4 \" ~HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
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Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. - u" e5 W0 ^; N# X
7 U9 P' e$ m D: MWalk naked to the bathroom.' b0 `0 k3 I+ K! x
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If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
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Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. - @% X6 I( P: i6 q3 S# ]
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. : X$ S4 ], U/ }/ `
+ P+ n$ d9 [5 `; ^' AFart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
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, Y/ [# J r* I1 IWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. + V0 n }% a; f, h. @
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Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
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$ ~- ]- T' S9 jPee.
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Rinse off and get out of shower.
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# G. X$ u' w, ]" C- C; p' IPartially dry off.
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Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. : q2 O1 a0 H/ p; ]! C) k
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Admire wiener size in mirror again. . N; d+ r5 x5 e2 K" N3 K
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. / ?" S, U g+ [- l: n/ n4 c" g ~4 z: M
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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) Z3 C3 m" S8 x9 ?- u# Q Q L- YThrow wet towel on bed. : ^' L& V. q% v1 l& @+ [# D% J& N9 {
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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