 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
|
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN :
! ^# F$ k% {: S6 m
& R% X: X- w/ c% O- j3 l% z
+ {. x% H! t6 b--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
8 T/ c4 d0 s' n) x
4 t- n4 I9 B9 l3 }7 t( T" F) c9 T8 ^, o, `1 o& M# ?
2 X2 x9 w/ _3 f% |# h( V/ @6 V
Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
4 K9 g% U) i. s W/ ^
/ f. H, u1 b ]Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
' S- H' r; c, z P- [$ V& e4 I
3 a- ?' ]) Y( v' \ uIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
7 i, q2 }. L$ |2 L& A5 o U/ W" v, N- w- N
Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- & P$ o1 g% `1 b9 O% K
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.1 {+ u: m X6 S) p% l. ~7 L
4 [ c# r' L) {+ E [5 M' `Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
6 _" W4 V- s8 q/ N7 A
& w, C# Q: Y6 q3 hWash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. ) k# r5 `" J C, P7 m/ P+ h
/ e7 g# ?. }0 O# u4 k- |* EWash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
t7 e' j7 w) P' n1 |1 ]- ^& h! o- _
Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..6 f j4 B$ Q: D- U
! f+ P( K- v$ ZWash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
; Y% }7 z4 w' w1 s; }) h) W* U7 `, w* Y; Z# `! e
Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. 1 }! G* ]4 i! S& `8 U, g! Z
) M. l) y5 R/ J$ _$ a
Rinse conditioner off hair.
: {) g4 p6 N) t; x- \6 O, k2 x: T% [. d1 \; W7 p6 u
Shave armpits and legs.
5 L7 w5 e1 n4 v3 X) p, K2 E+ g
8 V$ b" Q+ ^6 X" R7 X5 mTurn off shower.0 L* e+ m$ x: {3 C' ]
9 Y- Z5 T) v8 Z: {: p+ u
Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
+ ?4 y% a: b6 u+ H4 D& y ?' I9 j; B3 a: i
Spray mold spots with Tilex. 9 _: r! m% i# u
/ H( ~7 ~3 N- R
Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
* [+ U' ~: Z; g6 q c# s. ]. n+ R" @3 Q: u0 O J1 _; j/ E3 B
Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. 9 [: t% f. I3 S+ J) ]' H
# v# a6 t6 L0 T; I
Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. & `# g3 T4 P* g( Y. g1 O9 }/ n* n
/ D( ?5 F$ X$ f" A1 X" R: C+ l
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. 5 |. V0 k" d" Y0 P) ]
[) w; D, ?$ Y3 Q" ^- P! I' q! ?7 t' F
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: , D9 I% K: |; [" q" `
_: O8 O7 T; |9 ITake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
- L3 ~0 ~, g. K4 Y% K- w. R- A1 G% g2 `0 D, @( f; }( K4 u$ g
Walk naked to the bathroom./ t/ c2 ]3 D, F
' H( A' g; [8 \
If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. % i' W* ]- G4 Y S r+ M9 q
+ @2 |5 @% k3 y- O7 o$ W
Look at your manly physique in the mirror. & q. z+ A! B5 a
8 N3 x ]7 a2 wAdmire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. 9 z8 m6 u- z1 N! y7 [
4 V+ U; B5 I- w! p) t% rGet in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
6 n6 s" s% }5 }7 Q k. Y5 b, w+ H4 s. Y
Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
" g$ f' Z- z4 q+ {
; i; o$ f, a; F# kFart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
5 O" w1 M6 M( h
8 G) e4 X0 v o! [+ M. B/ v3 wSpend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
4 {* A* x, O$ `
- _, G" n/ G! ]Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. 9 r- F: n/ }7 @! B0 @. d% F3 D! q# T
0 F. S- P- V4 s( l, KWash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. 9 W ?$ e3 u X! `3 U* e
6 [* j/ |( T3 A7 j* h% u
Pee. 5 W6 B8 [! C6 V: T
% _3 K8 [- O, |Rinse off and get out of shower.
" Q) c+ B+ G/ e6 [+ }% b
J4 G( u; ]. L8 KPartially dry off.
9 V$ m/ R8 a* S2 K. n$ T9 D+ `1 B' s, B' w9 o) S0 r" ~+ w% i
Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. 0 H2 ?; O4 @: o
9 F- F5 _7 [, `5 C
Admire wiener size in mirror again.
/ e2 j, k3 R% D; k& d/ p3 X
4 F8 v: E+ r R3 R: w, a1 o# eLeave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
4 L B# A- G, T$ x/ q% I/ p" h
' L( t8 A& s1 c9 R8 QReturn to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. 1 R8 u* C7 x. p% x0 G4 d% \
, x; @$ N! N3 m/ V3 ~Throw wet towel on bed. . `- G. O2 k3 W: h' m
0 |& d: c: q5 _( V5 D
If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
|
狗仔卡
发表于 2008-2-21 08:02
提升卡
置顶卡
沉默卡
喧嚣卡
变色卡
显身卡
发表于 2008-2-21 09:03
