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* X2 [) {* Z. L' f9 U" cWhy did God make mothers?
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; U& X% Z$ `( L1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
$ ]7 F0 q. ?/ ?: d2. Mostly to clean the house. ]! u# E; t+ R
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.
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How did God make mothers? , G+ D V$ n& L5 k0 E
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
( w- {" I! _" c2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
, R! W* E( d' X% f3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.
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What ingredients are mothers made of ?
, M. Q, g8 u1 P1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean. ; U i3 ]& M% I- P3 i
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think. 0 X9 k7 c" y& T& a) `( u/ ^
9 `( f' _: y3 R U( |Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom? ( z/ J! s; @9 a) o; u- f* W
1. We're related.
/ H- \$ U) v, o/ q7 D) l P) ?2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me.
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What kind of little girl was your mom? ; \3 c2 Z. J' e6 v/ Q3 z3 L
1. My Mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff. 7 H+ }! I, r. Q9 F: n9 @' b4 K4 m
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
( m! ]/ z; e7 O( u3. They say she used to be nice.
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7 v+ |, f8 t5 l" |What did mom need to know about dad before she married him? # Y1 l1 W: M! b9 n
1. His last name.* L( |4 `2 Z( d
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
: a' S$ Q0 p! V7 a3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?
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% w/ p, t- {8 A0 X9 T VWhy did your mom marry your dad?
. E5 o. |) Y: I' a1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot. # t+ \ _; A- \: w E
2. She got too old to do anything else with him. 7 ?0 q8 U$ P# F
3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on.
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Who's the boss at your house? 9 w. ]! w! K. N+ x6 W0 H1 A. R
1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball.
+ o$ ^4 L) ?, U l2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
3 n( x6 X; b" a4 W) s% }' M! b3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad. 3 ]2 O' v: F8 g v
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What's the difference between moms & dads? * ]9 J) R* a3 F; n2 [
1. Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work. r2 \ A1 E" L; X9 ^2 Q" p2 c, F: l3 I [
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
& F" k2 R; o/ Y! E3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's.
2 B0 v- U! I9 ]& u6 W4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine. # e+ A: f) J% _( C8 G
% g9 K$ N) s+ m; j! vWhat does your mom do in her spare time? - N8 w0 b' Z9 ^+ Z* x
1. Mothers don't do spare time.
( k0 a$ A& T& A$ q9 _+ T& p) I* [2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long. $ d+ F8 H$ f( p$ I' R7 X
: o/ N+ p6 v8 x, K* ^5 q AWhat would it take to make your mom perfect? & g- o% V; Y. H7 n9 v
1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery./ y+ {9 T. C3 G! I: }0 m1 q3 K, i- S
2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue. % a( d$ b: j; e" s% Q) n/ d
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If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?
0 d6 }( M3 j5 ]0 J f/ a X. i1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that. 9 {7 W" i3 B4 A; Y% G
2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.1 l _! P+ R4 W( m% g
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head. , U* U4 j3 \: j+ S
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