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, n; @4 m# G A# CWhy did God make mothers?
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6 N3 Z3 }: U1 Z; w: u5 V5 k1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is./ O7 _; s, w) J
2. Mostly to clean the house.
, F( J/ }- s3 H5 m' E. b3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.
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How did God make mothers?
[9 y. r: f* Y5 V1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us. W2 L" y# @6 O, H* o
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring. : ]* t7 s! a8 R! v# F! }
3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts. 5 |# }- J5 A# B, R
' A2 N# H) [" e% s+ L* m* jWhat ingredients are mothers made of ? . N0 e+ U4 d; h; `0 ]6 x' H
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean. # ^: q! G8 G& V7 p6 i( ^
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.
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. x/ ~, |0 }2 tWhy did God give you your mother and not some other mom? 5 c1 e0 N1 X) p
1. We're related.
+ K; _# H U0 C0 H2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me. ) g/ R& }7 ]9 M, X
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What kind of little girl was your mom? 0 V8 Y3 M3 x' a2 d
1. My Mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
) }/ V& p$ N8 Z2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy. 3 p+ E+ z9 Z" ~
3. They say she used to be nice.
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# ]) l7 [1 \, v3 n. e4 hWhat did mom need to know about dad before she married him?
, O% F3 g; |0 E9 k+ f# _1. His last name.
; u& g1 q$ H# ~, q2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?* M) \# D2 S! t" d B
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?
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& J- i# _. a3 |+ U, IWhy did your mom marry your dad? 4 Z( z1 E$ v1 l8 a) }
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot. ) W) @* S( @, ^" h. v
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
, L0 B- |- U/ N3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on. . [$ B0 j7 H4 J/ T# s% j) l
, I3 F+ f5 C7 sWho's the boss at your house?
+ V9 x, v$ ^: V8 x$ x- p8 {1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball. 0 ?" N" } e! F% d1 u
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
1 K0 m3 z1 |' k8 ~3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad. * e% X' K9 U; S& `
5 \. U5 N1 D6 uWhat's the difference between moms & dads?
; Z; r8 X! o1 f, F- c8 m1. Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work. & R- d6 S3 x' ^' C' b* Q
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.. [0 w& t! |7 j2 I( Q6 ?
3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's. $ C; Y2 C* D: w% T3 B( \
4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine. 3 i' F# F8 `" Y$ C# U5 S
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What does your mom do in her spare time?
# p3 N q2 E4 J4 b# ?: F7 ?1. Mothers don't do spare time.! n* K; C6 E d
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.
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What would it take to make your mom perfect?
; K7 ]; K8 j0 ?8 ^' v2 Z( P1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
6 k) B+ e, R- Z, a1 R+ E" ]: {( i2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue. 3 G: z% q+ A* d3 p7 t1 K: T) o7 k
- N* l6 J @( E7 N2 S& L8 @5 M( vIf you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?
4 l Y! C( e" }% q( c" g1 T# F! D1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that. ; H2 J+ T2 i0 P; ]9 O/ `6 s
2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.
$ c9 H% P6 V: w& k- D3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.
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