请大家帮忙修改我的一个诗

alberta2007

I just wrote a poem
1 s0 b0 F6 B1 h2 E; }0 EBesides, I'd like to put it in my blog.
) k, X+ _1 O/ ^5 H; _However,first of all, is anyone able to modify/improve my poem
, {; c4 _3 S$ C4 N& c1 N: D- QThanks a lot!!!
( [- V( s0 A# s7 V
4 K& d* Q7 S0 v

. P7 ?% R4 A8 l

6 {: i+ K. N! ]0 E! |

Formerly,Somehow I'd fallen in love with you
6 v8 f5 b9 Z7 w- F              Somehow I'd found something wrong with us
- `7 q7 j' i* x) O! {6 E( e              Somehow I'd left you to travel around the world
              Somehow I'd attempted to forget everything between you and me
              Somehow I'd considered you'd been lost in my mind
1 d* }# n5 E9 t3 M, k9 o              Somehow I'd felt that my real life was full of happiness
However, somehow I casually got a dream of you yesterday
- c2 C4 P' _$ }  H" B! j% A/ s             somehow I realized you were still in my heart
             somehow I recalled my memory of you with powerful uncontrollable consciousness
  B3 P6 ^# Y8 A             somehow I lost myself inside again
+ M6 V; {1 u: D1 ANow,      somehow I write down the aticle in my blog
             somehow I find that my heart is calling for love and devotion
' [1 \6 V- u1 e: tFinally,   I discern that I am still in love with you......................................
Basically, I almost finish this poem
               I am 一个人de精彩
, i  n8 q/ z  o& f+ W               I am thinking to use 精彩 to cover everything.
: ]. [8 g# w- U! Q, \( cBut........         
Ironically? Isn't it?

yoyoke2004

应该是“请大家帮忙修改我的一首诗”

5 [5 E! V% u8 _0 A) ^* L/ d1 z卖糕的，写外国诗就得忘中国字吗？

Justing

Somehow I'd fall in love with you
0 q9 M( z4 P! [; SSomehow I'd find something wrong with us
Somehow I'd leave you to travel around the world
4 I: Z* e1 ?" {; h7 k) [Somehow I'd attempt to forget everything between you and me   
Somehow I'd consider you'd been lost in my mind
1 t; K: X" B. E3 ASomehow I'd feel that my real life was full of happiness

+ t; q3 F6 j; c: T5 r% x: S" nSomehow I casually got a dream of you yesterday
4 h* I1 W1 X9 T0 M0 t/ YSomehow I realized you were still in my heart
Somehow I recalled my memory of you with powerful uncontrollable consciousness
$ w3 H4 m( f) U- a* ?) P1 ]Somehow I lost myself inside it again
. s, S( p! ?/ }8 H
2 N. I& O  E1 q, uSomehow I find that my heart is calling for love and devotion
4 h1 e! j$ B6 E8 r6 B4 m3 J" oSomehow I discern that I am still in love with you
Somehow I am the only brilliance of myself
Somehow I am thinking to cover everything with my faint brilliance

lington

However, somehow I casually got a dream of you yesterday
8 Z+ N* j! a- C. ^, s================================================
However, somehow I  dreamed about you yesterday

" _! P+ v( O) ^somehow I recalled my memory of you with powerful uncontrollable consciousness
=====================================================================
somehow I recalled the times we had...subconsciously...

alberta2007

我用的时态主要要体现出来呀,你修改成i'd fall或者其他的,时态没办法体现呀,我的意思是i had+verb pass perfect

Justing

原帖由 alberta2007 于 2008-1-21 18:57 发表
我用的时态主要要体现出来呀,你修改成i'd fall或者其他的,时态没办法体现呀,我的意思是i had+verb pass perfect

3 K5 |! [- j! l% C哦，这样啊，那就改回去吧，我以为是虚拟语气呢。

三思

劳驾楼主给我扫扫盲，这是什么体啊？