UPGRADE FROM BOYFRIEND TO HUSBAND

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Dear IT Support / Software Developer,

% y. |0 v4 x" B- j9 LLast year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a slow down in the overall performance, particularly in the flower, gifts and jewellery applications that had operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

' v, `# u9 _5 Z" w& zIn addition, Husband 1.0 un-installed many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, but installed undesirable programs such as Formula One 5.0, NBA 3.0 and World Cup 2.0.
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5 j# g- [; r& S7 e9 @( Y3 JAnd now Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and House Cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

0 [& F! W$ T' n1 d' `What can I do?
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) v, e* U# ^1 I/ e4 F/ gSigned,
" w+ `$ A8 M. w  t6 M5 hDesperate Housewife

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9 i+ {0 U0 c5 B+ O6 T; m7 VReply:

, I1 a2 W9 X# B4 b$ @Dear Desperate Housewife,
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, C( i3 `! P; D6 Q7 LFirst keep in mind:
. s: U$ p. x0 h7 m3 ], \) U8 JBoyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.
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9 r* f' e, @6 r  ]* k/ |Try entering the command C:\ I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME and download Tears 6.2 to install Guilt 3.0 .

If all works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.
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But remember, overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Late Night Teh Tarik 6.1.
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Late Night 6.1 is a very bad program that will create SnoringLoudly.wav files.

: Z1 d  T# x, C' ^3 j5 r' GWhatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-Law 1.0 or reinstall another Boyfriend program. These are not supported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

* ]6 K0 A4 @: \1 e- J! F+ Z' BIn summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have a limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.

4 p% E  K9 K3 ?* z  D) l4 BYou might consider additional software to improve memory and
performance. I personally recommend Hot Tasty Food 3.0 and Tongkat Ali 6.9.

  {( y" y5 D& s' B7 N! e  OGood Luck,
. l% P: B( i+ gIT Support