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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA+ p$ O( Q0 B8 P$ x6 r5 K7 o
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1. Bring your own house.
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and+ B% \3 ^7 l6 [+ d+ R9 P
hospital.) y- }5 v& d$ L& Y/ Z" A! u
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder$ y) Q+ W# ]$ ]0 |* L
capital of Canada .
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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! i( K5 U( J9 j. d' V/ x. s 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug1 b+ l+ b8 O/ _
capital of Canada .. G8 d! s3 K: [7 K( C; k& U
5 z9 @ c. r$ L- }! p* t 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
* E$ k4 \1 F" K/ E$8.00/hour.
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.1 t+ k6 @8 x. C9 d' B; f# Q- g! ^3 W
0 W( h0 T1 i: D# j 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
& {' A3 m# K# j: V" Y( Con a 15 year holiday ?
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/ A7 e" N V2 L3 Y, g7 J 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas0 } ^- z, b) {2 \2 U \5 E( _ f; i0 C% u
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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$ q$ a W% r& v2 w- @7 }10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
' x3 c( @( z9 E3 ~! {8 `2 C; Phere sick.
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
- A4 @- ]$ L7 [$ c; S2 oyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.! [5 A/ i& q- O8 q. A U1 L
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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. p! I" d- P0 M7 I1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
9 Y( ^3 Y& o3 a8 j3 qis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.# \& n3 K, I$ }7 `& ]7 P$ U- a$ V8 s
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its! c! [3 y3 n6 L" r2 J4 ^! L
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
- f) c: ~$ ~8 [2 T3 Bmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
' i( c4 C5 ~) Ego second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell0 e; m3 o: z7 ~! T
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way., R6 i3 l* Y ?$ F1 p
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
! S. p. P5 M; e9 p, p. ~cussed out, and possibly shot.7 [1 W: q) M) a# S( [* X
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that, p1 G! }. }( F; d! L9 ~
can get you shot.$ W5 W6 w2 D+ y/ q* {1 h
6 i1 N( a3 P8 B5 f0 w/ ^6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour7 n& {- g- a5 D* |; }4 j7 i" V, k. ?
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next- a- I" u0 R' l6 b4 c2 n
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and7 h" l0 n( x1 N
more construction starts everyday.( N$ Q- p" S' `3 O# v: J
6 A" H% c0 v$ \' }2 ~9 O, x+ c 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
* Q9 T" Q+ n" v- Xdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage," k- _" H1 o# H! i& Z
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.$ ~, x S6 Y) ]
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the) p/ k3 `5 u# Z2 ~: ?& g' d
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally7 a m( m" o8 ?% k! |2 T3 T
activated."
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km9 p% Q$ K; S& a( w
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
) `1 ^9 G; K0 `, W s1 G" G4 Caccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.$ m' F$ `2 S9 X5 a- @. d
+ l' K- c+ J# T' r6 c1 h11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
0 {. v* ^9 d$ P* f( Llined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and8 x- K5 u8 D, X* z. g
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
) L" h) z' _/ u: H5 V9 ovirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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显身卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
