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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA: w1 V' ^" A! L$ |- D$ Z4 ]
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1. Bring your own house.; O& h- _) i- s4 @0 S9 _2 R
7 S. |/ @5 i$ T 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
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R: i9 H8 D! t& A7 g 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
! g; B0 W. Z+ {7 x& ocapital of Canada .
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .% `& R1 _' h0 Q& k, C0 D
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
" W# T# R* t mcapital of Canada .
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is. N# I8 r2 t1 j& \+ o
$8.00/hour.: M. m" W) m4 q4 P) i6 r
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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" s" y: g! u7 ] 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money7 x7 W8 j: W3 \, a' b8 }
on a 15 year holiday ?! X: |% x. n8 e( p3 e: J
! p8 s; B# M% W( U+ T8 {* g0 ~" w 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
, u( M; e% p/ m5 x) W3 U. cprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)) }+ ?# a! |2 K5 Z8 h
' H: `/ N5 S/ l* q# `7 W10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come% x( P" n9 F. m+ I
here sick.6 L. H2 y' T' w( k+ \' d
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 125 \& U) E9 _4 |1 Y
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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% i% k5 L2 H6 b THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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% \5 c+ b b! W2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
0 j" ^" h, j, T" f1 E0 tis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.' b* z& N% P p- e
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
5 o2 S& g( @2 i# W7 r3 u; uown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
1 J0 @# v7 \5 c7 b% gmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
9 n, ?6 w8 H1 L2 o6 Mgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell/ e, f/ e+ x4 L. H6 M
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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5 C! j. H/ N9 [5 ^, a# A4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,7 z% D+ N8 I5 v5 {
cussed out, and possibly shot.! F0 [. y9 h. D+ s7 j
. P/ ]* L" r. U" I1 Q5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that6 _% t1 r4 S3 u' c
can get you shot.
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour2 V3 o5 c4 J1 j- W3 s; o
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next1 a" y/ V' Y$ M% w* Z
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and0 g8 ]6 }+ ~8 b2 x
more construction starts everyday.
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* ^5 O, [7 o3 d& m- f4 O3 Z* ` 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,7 Q, R( B4 X1 i- n
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
3 m) Q1 z: c$ P- ^- G% f# N C K' o. Ksquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.: \& k/ ` h) o9 H& I- p
! ]" y9 z, S. Y( V' ~; \8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
* r3 Z# p! I5 G fthe same road.9 M5 u2 e/ K) z6 m$ `/ @7 W9 Q
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the' U3 x4 x ]6 q0 ?3 z
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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- f' W+ U, f$ z* Q+ l10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
. @4 X( N# P/ w* rzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"2 w# c6 C$ G; e2 K' V g4 i: ]
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.% K/ v, I$ I: M/ [" }2 ]! P
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur* W' l. J0 X1 [- k3 G* _% {
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and! p3 ^0 r1 ~3 ?5 e
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
_' X! b' b# o) j8 Z; O5 {virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
