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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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5 ]$ f- u: H" u! _5 K5 w 1. Bring your own house.* U7 S! F2 J4 Q% R* N- W ?
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and1 b0 W! p s$ V ^
hospital.: a- U8 Z7 J1 x& W% f
- V# I' X! U! I5 N) N 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
4 F: |/ V+ O7 U! k6 T* Y2 Fcapital of Canada .0 l' [2 b- A* A1 O! _
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada ." [" w8 C; Q8 u7 _" v5 Z
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
# p) }2 n) F4 U# icapital of Canada .
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
9 W& @& f: X& E# D- Z: s8 R$8.00/hour.' p) H+ H6 i4 C9 R; }& Y
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.) v w9 I' ^& o
. D' `3 a9 ~8 K) j& f2 n 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
9 p; i5 b7 o/ i: r+ d8 Con a 15 year holiday ?
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas# T- [0 a6 [7 S# U5 \
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)' M r9 G* ~5 Z7 e3 ^ f6 {
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12 J: k/ F* V1 J* W& B
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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' b7 \* o4 o! _9 k THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON : {3 j7 ^6 ` g, c# I
" a- f" I' {8 D* }+ g1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
1 f4 u! @6 G- n6 D& _is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.$ ?" U+ S& z8 ~1 ]; w: h" S
# t) p* ~1 J5 e3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
, l" B- `2 j- H; I) r ~own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
0 x' Y) U/ \) Y2 Z3 g9 Smuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires8 U) @( H4 O! m
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
. k4 `2 n( I* O. K& bphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
/ {( u# R- Y" Zcussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that" k" M$ {( e' D& ~: P
can get you shot.
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2 `9 B9 B/ H* S2 j; E( R) p7 [6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour; @! C( x+ \5 m% k8 V
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
$ h3 ?) L" [: O- r9 x) X) Hday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and2 g* j3 ? a9 D E- U- v
more construction starts everyday.
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,8 j9 a% i+ }% u/ A6 B6 M2 z8 \
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
5 I2 z. A( Y# J r8 }( \squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.- r, Y+ J- U9 u2 P/ j# ?; Y1 W6 F8 \
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
% m# L. g3 T# F: N$ O+ Z9 |! Dthe same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
, ?# z+ u) o7 z4 j `; f. dshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km7 B7 x8 `& {4 K
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
* t5 R0 J. ~3 Aaccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
$ d2 _, m# a( v" o: W8 Blined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and0 [: @6 }& `' F( f/ m J
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
6 w9 s( L9 P0 \" Z: `7 |" c0 Svirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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