送给要来或者打算要来EDMONTON，ALBERTA的朋友

acsm6

NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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1. Bring your own house.

( t; H- }( w6 B* o0 H2 t" V, ?: s& D 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
hospital.
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3 H1 Y) L- r, E/ p+ [$ H8 [+ U% n 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
capital of Canada .
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
& @6 `1 T* \; P' Icapital of Canada .

6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
$8.00/hour.
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' s2 m1 j3 \9 Y: k0 k& Q. H 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
# i3 b4 M+ B7 M8 u) Von a 15 year holiday ?
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
0 Q5 j3 P  B2 |# uprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)

. K; R8 t3 k. h$ ~) h, l0 K10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
here sick.
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.


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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :

5 u1 z) V, m9 x  U1 E% W6 |" n' _/ D/ T1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".

2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.

* f; A* Y3 c; s: L, s3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
5 _( \; H. i1 {' [) ?own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
/ N8 `/ P5 j: a6 M- d) C* _8 Vmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.

4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
cussed out, and possibly shot.

5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
can get you shot.

6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
: ]$ _+ J1 y% k" T! amore construction starts everyday.
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) a! s5 G0 J/ M! I+ b  7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
1 p4 S  A% u- j5 vdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
1 ?' ]5 ]& R9 m3 q1 i) e9 P& Xsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.

8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
the same road.

9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
activated."

# A  v/ A/ N  w, h7 U# ~" |+ z10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.

11     . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
3 S( P0 r' w$ y; l* Jblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw.

大头熊

有点夸张。不过还是佩服生活在这的人，大部分人都活下来了。

kaleli

又是一个挨砖的帖子。

人生几何

紫光

西红柿酸

HOAH

朋友坐在一起聊天的时候，最怕有人带来公厕的味道，弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜，其实大多数都一生一无所成，能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了，什么都屈才。
# r; m& A, z8 ], C! R1 }! m有一个人，他骂了自己所在单位一辈子，由于长期持有一种心情，一种哀怨的表情，脸色都是土灰色的了，可就是没见他作出什么成就，已没有离开他的破单位，却大大煞了周围人生活的风景。

April

来自多伦多的朋友 忽悠 其他朋友 来爱民屯说 :

/ @7 N* D4 z6 \7 u, F, ^此地钱多, 人傻, 速来
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8 T: M) r  R6 w[ 本帖最后由 April 于 2007-10-11 22:12 编辑 ]

pacibridge

原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
3 n2 f+ ^8 f3 B- u5 ~" h, j朋友坐在一起聊天的时候，最怕有人带来公厕的味道，弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜，其实大多数都一生一无所成，能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了，什么都屈才。
...

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说事，谈话题，别攻击人。什么素质？整个一厕所。

上酸菜

是原创吗？楼主太有才了，佩服啊！！

宁宁宝宝

HOAH

原帖由 pacibridge 于 2007-10-11 22:20 发表
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说事，谈话题，别攻击人。什么素质？整个一厕所。

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这么刺痛你了吗？

我可指的是极少数人，如果你不是，就别往自己身上想。

大头熊

原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
( p) g; s) n7 m朋友坐在一起聊天的时候，最怕有人带来公厕的味道，弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
) w! w' Z0 s- B7 d/ \8 S5 _  n3 j- @满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜，其实大多数都一生一无所成，能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了，什么都屈才。
...

/ f  o) P  D: S, f9 }7 _你这样不太好吧！每个人都有抱怨的权力。对待不合理的现象大家都齐声颂扬，好象不是民主自由的加拿大的特点。
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再次申明我的观点，Edmonton是全世界最好的城市。

Yang123

埃德蒙顿, 是一个盛产冠军的城市! 能在埃德蒙顿扎根发展的人, 都是强者中的强者!

MyFairy

Please mark ZT when 分享 other people's 原创. Thanks.

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lalah

就是一还“有点才”的调侃嘛。有些人干吗那么serious啊

兔宝宝

以前见过,这好像是西门莎菲大学的人写的(不敢肯定).不光EDMONTON,还有别的省,市.只是调侃.