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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA# c& [! O& s" a- H+ m ]
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3 y ]7 r& q0 \. S 1. Bring your own house.+ l! m! p; @/ H- p) X( h
o! l' u6 a/ o3 g0 E 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and$ {+ B4 t% I1 i7 u
hospital.
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9 T+ m1 S9 x; H0 |! K/ h3 W. e; `) w) F: C 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
2 `( q, c3 c Rcapital of Canada .3 e) r" i a3 |1 V- d2 b% Q( \) h: _
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .% v6 ]: {) e6 N4 ] g
/ B* Q1 l3 e+ i) H ^: Z2 O 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug) N% @0 Y8 K( R: v$ R, ^
capital of Canada .9 I. _3 E6 m/ K, R8 h2 h: u4 ^
; D% V* N& I8 E% X 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is, t! D( y3 j2 q; ~
$8.00/hour.
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: C0 R% r8 J' z6 p; C3 ^6 C. }: M 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
; m% J4 f( A( Lon a 15 year holiday ?
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
: R0 G/ d7 W/ X- h$ p) p" Mprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)$ b3 i4 |- S: E0 l
* o! ?6 e% d5 A10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come2 Z8 X! ~2 s: O
here sick.
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8 l$ A' w# q- d/ V7 R% e11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
/ @, b4 E+ J/ v/ B, xyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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" v9 J4 A1 s( Y) P) o& Z THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :0 t1 G) q' C& t0 g, w0 q- A3 b
: n0 Z/ M& b& L1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".) Z3 O( U( B4 I( n% y' {6 Y0 i
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
d5 Y s: _( b* m2 ]is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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+ n6 e* D$ v0 d7 x& }) N3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
, X" M% F* {& [3 Y+ `own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
/ \, h" [8 X: u$ N) q; @* o: l: Lmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires/ I2 H1 ~1 I" n6 Y- s& ^# d- b
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
% }5 r1 I# K3 U- l* ?' ~# Aphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended, ^& j! J& F1 V+ {$ K6 W+ k
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 Z( j- H1 D' v# h5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that0 @- R- C5 [! ]
can get you shot.: R* D7 P3 K: Q+ x1 G2 g/ _/ E/ ?
- U \' P7 Q0 p6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
- T5 E( `& }* m$ c/ ubarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next1 u+ q/ e( W6 ^2 f
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
/ V: T% e1 t4 N$ f: T% |2 Gmore construction starts everyday.; t% s7 ~2 l3 a
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,7 U9 g. f- Y$ `2 ^8 f
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,7 P& i7 c6 p- b4 ~
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.2 h5 w6 f- P& V* n1 S6 `+ t
; |" Z. E$ g6 t x x T8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all0 u( o1 f3 Q; Q& M+ L5 D9 K7 P* g. b
the same road.+ L/ [! B# o* s, R z2 p4 N
% d/ m6 l% y7 l7 n/ g H0 ?( H9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the8 T: N) W* d T+ j0 @' ?
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km: A$ k5 N/ W% K
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
5 ^$ K Q2 _7 p9 \$ ?6 ~accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.! c) `; _. V, d
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur3 ?* ~. R- H9 U8 U4 N. d
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and0 T# j1 k7 n; t i
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is- N1 Y6 [5 z, j+ K. x0 E1 r5 q
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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