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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA/ b8 m, D: R+ p- O/ n: M" r
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1. Bring your own house.
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# V0 Z4 G0 ]/ F7 B/ C' t) Q 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and2 ^6 S8 i( l: J* ^5 G" n
hospital.+ I/ k C, j: [! H6 L9 {
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder% l- L! t) U6 b, S5 N3 b9 f
capital of Canada .
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .; F" Y6 a0 p) ?5 F3 S
6 V- X& _( B3 s' E! w5 w 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug* t) |5 t; V3 L( n0 c5 O
capital of Canada .3 H8 f/ y q4 n2 ]; X5 {
) {5 L; V& I2 O' l9 ` 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
" g5 I8 w; L$ P A7 K$8.00/hour.
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.4 U3 V$ L5 ^( f3 g
, \& g; S7 y; X5 | 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
7 r( f! |* W, z p# H8 Q6 non a 15 year holiday ?, ~5 W' j! J7 O9 w! |
# } Q; x9 e& S* Q! o 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
, j% o3 k6 o8 sprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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* S' F. B/ b% A. P7 k% O4 N10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
) `! s( N; G( @4 ~3 l2 k6 ]6 xhere sick.7 \7 e9 o7 u7 H2 T0 `
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
! I. t% A7 m' B0 x2 u* }years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone. N) h5 m# e9 L
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :6 }6 _# x8 C. |9 h
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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* G& G7 ?: d" |/ ] ~1 n2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
: f7 u5 h w$ m6 ^is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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5 ^3 \' m4 a" N2 C+ E z3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its" a" ~6 \6 T+ r9 E1 u$ N1 @( B
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest& p* M8 p; @1 D# P; P W
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
5 ]/ m: L) A, h. Ggo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
/ K7 u( q x' S) Lphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way." i- J% u) W1 C7 `2 ?9 ^6 ]
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,$ E3 K& l* a5 F3 P) F6 M+ Y$ G7 h
cussed out, and possibly shot.4 n+ Y3 k8 d* c& p& J
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
5 F! I$ K- \. _1 L& S' L) O( G& Vcan get you shot./ m$ U1 I' b& l1 _9 I9 _& @1 R
6 S' u' E7 V' ~9 P( c- j6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour6 P! C% E" g9 M; i
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
& e/ s0 p- X. W: ^day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and | @+ ]- k+ H) Y% G
more construction starts everyday.
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,* H) s; L& v4 [0 C4 }7 h, W
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
( B( H$ M l; B$ z! c! n% \3 t& ksquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
& S' w' g! U7 Z& cthe same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the# L" f) i: f t& P
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
1 l/ l; T: ^4 p' o+ Yzone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"- u. N, [, Q( P) s( x, C
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
% f$ Z5 O4 ^" i$ u. o! u K5 `lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and% ^6 b3 W( G0 \4 a5 w0 H( L. G
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
1 x" s$ M' [0 wvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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