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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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2 B' U% k1 U+ w4 v$ v6 s 1. Bring your own house.( G6 m3 Y4 b" e
( E) V! p2 q A0 C v/ p& { 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
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% p. A5 V+ z& u 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
5 X3 d5 U& m1 D V, c Ccapital of Canada .
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3 P5 Y# Y# G6 {& I 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .* T. P5 g" V2 I! t. ?& H
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug+ J7 y" s/ @# \
capital of Canada .
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
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8 H7 `6 ^8 t- b 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
$ @# e3 A+ U) j4 _on a 15 year holiday ?
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, m( |. t% j6 J; R+ e 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
2 O( a$ H+ @8 f, a; [. Cprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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* P$ R0 y- w) p+ u8 U2 V) i/ j10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
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) ]& y. {8 `9 I* D11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 127 o. h. F# w2 H* A/ V
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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# h) t- J8 M8 n$ `7 |6 U* ` THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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+ S- p$ R8 d$ z3 W5 m& J1 V1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".0 N+ @4 L1 k% M2 Z
" Z% g' q) r! M+ A4 \2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
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1 }# J {: k- g8 q8 j% c8 N3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its. W) ^5 y( u0 m# e
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
& [# g& x0 x; M& Ymuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
8 e/ P; _- x1 h0 L4 @1 N! l; r' {go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell2 S" l% s4 Y) c
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.% O" [6 ~, F$ z8 p+ L6 |. k0 ?
) G! a, B# B+ h& Y% r% [3 }4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
3 `* s+ C5 ^9 w0 R( icussed out, and possibly shot.. K- q1 u3 \$ U2 X
+ v# u9 D3 |* E! c0 ?5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that$ C4 L2 Y/ e2 X# h
can get you shot.
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour. w0 o; i! s1 Y: X5 L6 R1 f
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next8 [3 H3 \5 U7 y9 g" d2 N, X- w
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
# ?0 l% S1 A- e. `$ Tmore construction starts everyday.9 l! d8 `* H- C9 |
9 e- l7 C( l( ^# h: J* m0 K2 c 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,' z7 S: E1 @; k% U) Q
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,; Y/ y. ]* p$ J# Y0 d- v# [
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all/ o, R: Z) y$ O( L1 V: u
the same road.1 `1 E$ d q4 f1 ?* j* ~$ \) l; ^
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
# t) s3 H+ e; E+ E9 a+ eshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
' R$ s0 O- v( C7 T6 izone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
D P0 {& m( Uaccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.1 H2 x* m2 D: F$ u: i( h
) }! Z2 c% l$ D7 u1 U2 }& C11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur! K. ]* J. d' I9 Q) o
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and( |& j- N, W" }6 X0 a# v+ B
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is$ J6 ?9 H1 R5 w0 Y& q
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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