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送给要来或者打算要来EDMONTON,ALBERTA的朋友

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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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5 ]$ f- u: H" u! _5 K5 w 1. Bring your own house.* U7 S! F2 J4 Q% R* N- W  ?
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and1 b0 W! p  s$ V  ^
hospital.: a- U8 Z7 J1 x& W% f

- V# I' X! U! I5 N) N 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
4 F: |/ V+ O7 U! k6 T* Y2 Fcapital of Canada .0 l' [2 b- A* A1 O! _
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada ." [" w8 C; Q8 u7 _" v5 Z
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
# p) }2 n) F4 U# icapital of Canada .
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
9 W& @& f: X& E# D- Z: s8 R$8.00/hour.' p) H+ H6 i4 C9 R; }& Y
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.) v  w9 I' ^& o

. D' `3 a9 ~8 K) j& f2 n 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
9 p; i5 b7 o/ i: r+ d8 Con a 15 year holiday ?
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas# T- [0 a6 [7 S# U5 \
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)' M  r9 G* ~5 Z7 e3 ^  f6 {
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12  J: k/ F* V1 J* W& B
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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' b7 \* o4 o! _9 k THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :  {3 j7 ^6 `  g, c# I

" a- f" I' {8 D* }+ g1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
1 f4 u! @6 G- n6 D& _is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.$ ?" U+ S& z8 ~1 ]; w: h" S

# t) p* ~1 J5 e3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
, l" B- `2 j- H; I) r  ~own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
0 x' Y) U/ \) Y2 Z3 g9 Smuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires8 U) @( H4 O! m
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
. k4 `2 n( I* O. K& bphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
/ {( u# R- Y" Zcussed out, and possibly shot.
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that" k" M$ {( e' D& ~: P
can get you shot.
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2 `9 B9 B/ H* S2 j; E( R) p7 [6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour; @! C( x+ \5 m% k8 V
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
$ h3 ?) L" [: O- r9 x) X) Hday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and2 g* j3 ?  a9 D  E- U- v
more construction starts everyday.
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  7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,8 j9 a% i+ }% u/ A6 B6 M2 z8 \
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
5 I2 z. A( Y# J  r8 }( \squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.- r, Y+ J- U9 u2 P/ j# ?; Y1 W6 F8 \
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
% m# L. g3 T# F: N$ O+ Z9 |! Dthe same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
, ?# z+ u) o7 z4 j  `; f. dshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km7 B7 x8 `& {4 K
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
* t5 R0 J. ~3 Aaccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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11     . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
$ d2 _, m# a( v" o: W8 Blined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and0 [: @6 }& `' F( f/ m  J
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
6 w9 s( L9 P0 \" Z: `7 |" c0 Svirtually non-existent until the spring thaw.
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:19 | 显示全部楼层
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有点夸张。不过还是佩服生活在这的人,大部分人都活下来了。
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:26 | 显示全部楼层
又是一个挨砖的帖子。
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:28 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:53 | 显示全部楼层
理袁律师事务所
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发表于 2007-10-11 20:32 | 显示全部楼层

公厕

老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
& Y, U( q" ^# I# l满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。
7 ]" n7 G2 a: Y/ a4 R有一个人,他骂了自己所在单位一辈子,由于长期持有一种心情,一种哀怨的表情,脸色都是土灰色的了,可就是没见他作出什么成就,已没有离开他的破单位,却大大煞了周围人生活的风景。
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:05 | 显示全部楼层

ZT: The same joke

来自多伦多的朋友 忽悠 其他朋友 来爱民屯说 :
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' W: l3 M; A0 e! K此地钱多, 人傻, 速来
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[ 本帖最后由 April 于 2007-10-11 22:12 编辑 ]
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:20 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表 4 _4 V  L, ]/ l( L7 q
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
$ Z: F. d1 d; ~7 V, j满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。
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说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:23 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
是原创吗?楼主太有才了,佩服啊!!
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:26 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2007-10-11 21:34 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 pacibridge 于 2007-10-11 22:20 发表
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5 |; A: h6 O9 |  `5 @1 z* C9 g 说事,谈话题,别攻击人。什么素质?整个一厕所。

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% s9 W6 |, g& U这么刺痛你了吗?; O! P9 Y3 I; W. z  @" v; Z8 }5 Z
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我可指的是极少数人,如果你不是,就别往自己身上想。
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发表于 2007-10-11 23:23 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表 : o7 ?; j+ U& K5 P
朋友坐在一起聊天的时候,最怕有人带来公厕的味道,弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。7 b9 u# ^5 I8 i6 F6 I9 a8 T
满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜,其实大多数都一生一无所成,能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了,什么都屈才。2 H# Z  d' Y& ?5 J+ f
...

, |3 S( A1 n: m+ S9 G! t$ s2 C你这样不太好吧!每个人都有抱怨的权力。对待不合理的现象大家都齐声颂扬,好象不是民主自由的加拿大的特点。  I! p, m" B0 U6 A( ^" ~5 m$ ?
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再次申明我的观点,Edmonton是全世界最好的城市。
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发表于 2007-10-12 06:53 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
埃德蒙顿, 是一个盛产冠军的城市! 能在埃德蒙顿扎根发展的人, 都是强者中的强者!
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发表于 2007-10-12 07:30 | 显示全部楼层

可能 你真的不知道 埃德蒙顿 同样 藏龙卧虎

Please mark ZT when 分享 other people's 原创. Thanks.
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发表于 2007-10-12 09:35 | 显示全部楼层
就是一还“有点才”的调侃嘛。有些人干吗那么serious啊
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发表于 2007-10-12 14:34 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
以前见过,这好像是西门莎菲大学的人写的(不敢肯定).不光EDMONTON,还有别的省,市.只是调侃.
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