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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA% | v+ E. K7 M+ P( e* z9 ^
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1. Bring your own house.
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder8 I( B+ G$ x0 z0 g. v2 L
capital of Canada .# P' R) U7 W- n- z D
$ F7 V" B8 u$ @6 g% g4 U4 m 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
) r7 \* }5 O* x# p/ K9 V' \$8.00/hour.0 [: g$ u7 X+ b; d
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
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3 ^2 f. i: j( X0 i4 z" U 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
" k' r2 U4 |' Y# d, Sprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
, @1 y( P; V6 u7 Bhere sick.
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
8 R8 H# R# h$ `% x" gyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.3 ]6 W% K" |% @ k+ }
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9 A2 Z1 O6 v0 J, O# e4 W; \ THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :- ~# B' w& `8 B7 n! ~
I J8 N' @) t% F8 o1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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1 p% _) d% `7 ]6 a. e$ N2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
) y2 Z- U& c S2 Q% o& x j# Jis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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- \* |0 f5 ~1 S% P% F0 L' Q Z3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its f8 U& n0 A* m- O! W* d( }, e
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest5 L3 D# w" d5 f' ?1 K; b& \
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires" o4 \5 h( z( r' E
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell) I; x4 C4 A: T' @; a6 Z( n& P/ G) x
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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' w k8 N$ u+ Y7 y- h' T3 `4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
: i6 Y T2 Q1 g" `) _cussed out, and possibly shot.
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8 J, X C7 b- c4 w- {5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that4 k4 _+ t; }1 G6 w
can get you shot.8 T* N+ S5 @+ z7 h# _, l7 l3 Q2 x" t: H
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
/ a# o: q4 U2 H2 B: kbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next9 X( u" m9 \; n3 y+ f3 T) P
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
: J7 o4 ~3 g+ c/ u1 Omore construction starts everyday.' y. j, S4 z3 D0 j
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,/ ~0 ^/ a1 W J" U$ J
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,$ U! C$ Q0 M$ S% F: B: }
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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$ [+ U* U; M: F0 t8 `" u x* Q1 z+ d8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all1 J7 |* Z8 P; e; V8 e- F7 | ]. S$ x
the same road.2 P' O: u7 i' I- @
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the! f# o' k, |8 Y2 e' o c8 O
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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/ T& \3 b8 v- j" |1 \; y10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
( B, E/ W& L1 @$ i7 @6 ^zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"9 Y/ N8 e1 \. t) w, B3 G) I
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur1 D; ]& ?7 c4 _) n; L* {: u
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
- L: X7 d3 G' `7 wblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is& @# E8 C: Q f$ W) c+ }) S0 A
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
