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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN BRITISH COLUMBIA
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4 \" |8 K9 ^1 A# z. h0 r' B0 t, o1. Vancouver: 1.5 million people and two bridges. You do the math.
) }" U% g I* t4 W* Y) E9 s: ^2. Your $400,000 Vancouver home is just 5 hours from downtown. $ o: f; T, U9 F- Y
3. You can throw a rock and hit three Starbucks locations. + V- I7 v, d* T. |: w" C, v) s5 l3 B
4. There's always some sort of deforestation protest going on.
, F/ ?9 _+ `1 ~/ m5. Weed
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; b6 K" A! j" q4 s; GTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ALBERTA , c1 K1 D4 E2 q: ]& m$ z/ M9 j5 D. t- ?
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1. Big rock between you and B.C. ' {$ e) L/ T* B) g
2. Ottawa who?/ e9 b2 Y. O( l; D
3. Tax is 6% instead of approximately 20% as it is for the rest of the country. 1 z/ e) P3 a7 N4 m8 @) A
4. You can exploit almost any natural resource you can think of. & L h& E+ U# t7 M; v% ^
5. You live in the only province that could actually afford to be its own country.
3 B' B, I$ Z! X; i. @6 [6. The Americans below you are all in anti-government militia groups. : D) H; r# }' X9 R/ m' ~
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6 |0 n: K4 d$ tTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN SASKATCHEWAN
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1. You never run out of wheat.
0 j/ w6 j' |: M4 _. u ?2. Your province is really easy to draw. . }1 n4 r+ W( M
3. You can watch the dog run away from home for hours.
% T. V: r/ J5 r y; y5 E. x# o4. People will assume you live on a farm. # O- { W$ }5 [
" x! y- e! t# f" u; y" \9 B* t3 ZTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN MANITOBA 4 l1 @( P$ K9 G' J2 O0 ?; f
% L( `- h& j3 v1. You wake up one morning to find that you suddenly have a beachfront property.
7 V" k( x* x' Z A W# l% _2. Hundreds of huge, horribly frigid lakes.
0 `! O" C( s+ a+ U! E) v/ S% H3 h3. Nothing compares to a wicked Winnipeg winter. , {# L: o! V4 x3 ]9 V' g: E1 `/ ~
4. You can be an Easterner or a Westerner depending on your mood.
1 G3 |6 A* F* z3 `+ j+ f- H; D* i5. You can pass the time watching trucks and barns float by. 0 x# o, u% F+ |
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! p0 H' y6 R3 I8 L, e! gTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ONTARIO & n4 f% f# r2 K& r
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1. You live in the centre of the universe. 2 v, l0 N4 \5 `" X, o
2. Your $400,000 Toronto home is actually a dump. 9 i$ G/ U( v# K) \
3. You and you alone decide who will win the federal election.
9 c6 h+ h: M3 I8 e5 i- g/ V4. The only province with hard-core American-style crime.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN QUEBEC & ^" R, [$ m) X6 l8 M" K- E( G
6 Y0 \5 P8 [$ y' i" i& r7 P+ L1. Racism is socially acceptable
% H/ F2 O7 K% G" E9 x0 [2. You can take bets with your friends on which English neighbour will move out next. 6 ]8 K) V! c: t4 `+ D% |
3. Other provinces basically bribe you to stay in Canada.
- N, }8 b- s2 C5 j6 f4. You can blame all your problems on the "Anglo *0 E) i/ V2 K' _: t; y& e# F8 h
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK
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9 H& T( ~* K, R# ^* B- S1 HTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK
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; w3 J8 N' S3 I& ?0 t8 K- {1. One way or another, the government gets 98% of your income. ! E8 @& k: h6 g0 G/ O
2. You're poor, but not as poor as the Newfies.
. ^0 ]- S6 f j& J# @' ?: l7 m- \: J3. No one ever blames anything on New Brunswick
9 k3 m% v7 ` @4 U" i4. Everybody has a grandfather who runs a lighthouse. ! B: z) W' A+ L
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NOVA SCOTIA
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' Z( k) u! u) J' l/ m" d1. Everyone can play the fiddle. The ones who can't, think they can.
# r; e9 B# a: S* s' u* b" g2. You can pretend to have Scottish heritage as an excuse to get drunk and wear a kilt.
* [2 Q- n1 |5 H. i) s3. You are the only reason Anne Murray makes money.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN PRINCE EDWARD ISLAND / }5 ~- x& s3 M1 A- @. W6 f ~
( M4 c" z" s0 z9 i* [- j! R1. Even though more people live on Vancouver Island, you still got the big, new bridge. 8 Y) |, [( v- H- J) K9 }
2. You can walk across the province in half an hour. & C' \% Z9 ?" k2 L2 n
3. You can drive across the province in two minutes.
5 `. G- ^ m& v4 i6 D) A4. Everyone has been an extra on "Road to Avonlea."
7 ^( ?2 K& S* y8 u5. This is where all those tiny, red potatoes come from.
5 I) a' b0 ]) t' C6. You can confuse ships by turning your porch lights on and off at night. . V' Z* z: G+ L! t; z: X
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEWFOUNDLAND 4 W1 Z( t Q% m& q5 Q' O- ~2 ~
' u: W+ x" f& y: x1. If Quebec separates, you will float off to sea.
" ]& U; v- w' d& J' }- {& A2. If you do something stupid, you have a built-in excuse. & [+ n+ U- N& K. a2 Z
3. The workday is about two hours long. 3 T8 [7 a( p7 u. L# A$ n
4. It is socially acceptable to wear your hip waders to your wedding |
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