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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN BRITISH COLUMBIA
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1. Vancouver: 1.5 million people and two bridges. You do the math.
/ b" j. u5 O+ @& b6 o% l4 q l2. Your $400,000 Vancouver home is just 5 hours from downtown. # X' K7 v( p( ?: v
3. You can throw a rock and hit three Starbucks locations. D* S2 K8 _8 G
4. There's always some sort of deforestation protest going on.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ALBERTA
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6 m% w2 v" e4 Z# f9 \/ c7 j0 e. E1. Big rock between you and B.C.
. k5 P. ]4 N0 e W2. Ottawa who?
' f$ _( B2 |; [# l% S' t8 ~" q& @3. Tax is 6% instead of approximately 20% as it is for the rest of the country. 4 f: }$ Z7 y* w& L, m
4. You can exploit almost any natural resource you can think of.
+ k* @+ d! e3 H% u! w5. You live in the only province that could actually afford to be its own country. 8 K4 W% l# A A4 O6 K2 _
6. The Americans below you are all in anti-government militia groups.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN SASKATCHEWAN ' u/ l3 X4 z h; s; K& N
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1. You never run out of wheat.
$ x' l3 N" E6 T% t& P2. Your province is really easy to draw.
& [& k3 y5 S' k+ Z, }3. You can watch the dog run away from home for hours.
5 B5 g% J- x- k. E6 A4. People will assume you live on a farm.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN MANITOBA
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1. You wake up one morning to find that you suddenly have a beachfront property.
0 X1 Z- g4 a1 c# `0 h2. Hundreds of huge, horribly frigid lakes.
& ^8 r8 @# H y! `& [2 |6 E# d' g3. Nothing compares to a wicked Winnipeg winter. ( e. i* Q) ?+ x7 u
4. You can be an Easterner or a Westerner depending on your mood. * x! T$ J% C, o" L% E* @
5. You can pass the time watching trucks and barns float by. + i; n3 _6 ~# Z2 x, _5 M2 b- z
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ONTARIO * ?* P0 o1 N) L6 M& T& |
' C; P9 i! E0 L; x6 L3 R* T- t! Z1. You live in the centre of the universe.
0 U% a4 c: h, F) W/ e3 ~2. Your $400,000 Toronto home is actually a dump.
$ _# e( R# Z+ B- A3. You and you alone decide who will win the federal election. 0 Z% P; A9 s0 B; p) k9 p7 I
4. The only province with hard-core American-style crime.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN QUEBEC # H" D ~9 M( ~" J, C- Z7 v2 `; ~
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1. Racism is socially acceptable
7 |. @3 G+ v; f: j8 G, U6 u2. You can take bets with your friends on which English neighbour will move out next. 9 E; G% u( C+ x5 F( R
3. Other provinces basically bribe you to stay in Canada. * ^' `$ {4 m4 b0 y. I
4. You can blame all your problems on the "Anglo *
3 w: V. g" r+ ?7 qTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK 0 q' v k, f( _- p% O; z% e0 ^
3 K; y# s3 \, A5 q4 R, NTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK
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1. One way or another, the government gets 98% of your income. 5 O/ b( \- @& g/ U( h( t% g3 ~/ ]5 M
2. You're poor, but not as poor as the Newfies.
8 U; [) Z% A K! |4 v0 A3. No one ever blames anything on New Brunswick
) h, H; V. U- L! f ?: e4. Everybody has a grandfather who runs a lighthouse. " b }8 n& c8 J3 B: ]7 e. ?2 y
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NOVA SCOTIA
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1. Everyone can play the fiddle. The ones who can't, think they can.
0 e: i4 S8 T( }. j" B9 O6 N2. You can pretend to have Scottish heritage as an excuse to get drunk and wear a kilt. ) K+ b" ]" B7 _ |
3. You are the only reason Anne Murray makes money.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN PRINCE EDWARD ISLAND 5 \1 k$ {9 V$ b5 B
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1. Even though more people live on Vancouver Island, you still got the big, new bridge.
U0 J9 N, `0 o2. You can walk across the province in half an hour.
3 A7 V9 Q% r2 L% P' y$ C3. You can drive across the province in two minutes. ( M7 F0 j7 A! I9 C
4. Everyone has been an extra on "Road to Avonlea." % V* j& {% |3 A
5. This is where all those tiny, red potatoes come from.
( Y w$ T- J0 g( V( g6. You can confuse ships by turning your porch lights on and off at night.
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7 s/ p0 E3 t* F2 Q, W6 hTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEWFOUNDLAND
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1. If Quebec separates, you will float off to sea.
& A' K3 q+ U# p2. If you do something stupid, you have a built-in excuse.
7 D3 G0 Z; q m1 Q3. The workday is about two hours long.
# d% K0 \! b x( T4. It is socially acceptable to wear your hip waders to your wedding |
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