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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN BRITISH COLUMBIA
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1. Vancouver: 1.5 million people and two bridges. You do the math. * |6 [/ W O& y1 L. Y% @
2. Your $400,000 Vancouver home is just 5 hours from downtown.
3 e" r( ]* e! G3. You can throw a rock and hit three Starbucks locations. & }0 O$ t7 C7 K9 z
4. There's always some sort of deforestation protest going on. 5 }6 j4 ~; ~9 r. E
5. Weed
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4 Z# s7 I% r6 n8 b' M+ U+ OTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ALBERTA
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1. Big rock between you and B.C. ) f M) w+ I# ^0 r/ t+ F
2. Ottawa who?3 E/ V; v0 \$ W; R& Z$ e) e
3. Tax is 6% instead of approximately 20% as it is for the rest of the country.
% ~ O/ b. k" ~5 f( Z4. You can exploit almost any natural resource you can think of. , w2 j1 O5 _% ?3 L4 W
5. You live in the only province that could actually afford to be its own country.
0 b! q3 M$ p" O h$ L$ F6. The Americans below you are all in anti-government militia groups. ' Y: f, m5 A: y# T" W5 f- p. B( d. ^
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+ c% Y% W5 k/ v3 V! Q- |TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN SASKATCHEWAN
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1. You never run out of wheat.
6 r- j/ B- |0 p$ X c+ M6 i2. Your province is really easy to draw. - U/ t- @: Q5 @' s# V' p5 ]
3. You can watch the dog run away from home for hours. - b' O$ f5 r, ~4 O- W: N; N3 S& U
4. People will assume you live on a farm.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN MANITOBA
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5 H, s. D' v$ f1. You wake up one morning to find that you suddenly have a beachfront property.
2 _. \8 d7 q: b1 J2. Hundreds of huge, horribly frigid lakes. 0 K k0 G# ` [/ N
3. Nothing compares to a wicked Winnipeg winter.
. s B$ T' O- T5 y4 ]4. You can be an Easterner or a Westerner depending on your mood. * X$ h" N8 @5 u# H9 B
5. You can pass the time watching trucks and barns float by.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ONTARIO ' O9 O1 R5 f5 k. Z! ^ E
1 V/ o2 H1 _0 `5 z" p+ z1. You live in the centre of the universe.
7 X/ w1 t. E7 c" O3 D0 x: V5 ?2. Your $400,000 Toronto home is actually a dump.
0 I0 D2 S* v, o! f5 d3. You and you alone decide who will win the federal election.
/ j C) T2 P. @! ?- |' Y$ k) Q0 `4. The only province with hard-core American-style crime. ' \' ?( y! m; N3 I- u
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN QUEBEC
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1. Racism is socially acceptable 5 Z" s1 s! V' M5 V
2. You can take bets with your friends on which English neighbour will move out next. ~: u6 H8 p+ {7 J5 m) W- P0 V
3. Other provinces basically bribe you to stay in Canada.
# x3 z! ^5 f4 ^/ A4. You can blame all your problems on the "Anglo *
2 j; c) e) x" Y& V+ c; yTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK ! e+ |1 p$ x! n% x
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1. One way or another, the government gets 98% of your income. ( ?( e3 b& l s) C3 B& c. Q
2. You're poor, but not as poor as the Newfies. & |+ z; r" Q' l
3. No one ever blames anything on New Brunswick
9 P) T6 n) m/ `$ m- l6 |# e% L V4. Everybody has a grandfather who runs a lighthouse.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NOVA SCOTIA $ \; Y& ~9 P) R: R2 x0 f
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1. Everyone can play the fiddle. The ones who can't, think they can. 5 P& d: A9 @5 n' b* }, ~( v
2. You can pretend to have Scottish heritage as an excuse to get drunk and wear a kilt. $ G* G* \: g/ h: m' w
3. You are the only reason Anne Murray makes money.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN PRINCE EDWARD ISLAND
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. b( B+ `4 b4 t3 g5 q1. Even though more people live on Vancouver Island, you still got the big, new bridge. . }4 z. t/ F5 W5 {6 ~
2. You can walk across the province in half an hour.
. E( |3 C* @- ]/ U$ J3. You can drive across the province in two minutes.
: W" |/ d. `# [ d; e4 e4. Everyone has been an extra on "Road to Avonlea." 2 V. O- ?8 f) l. {' b! P
5. This is where all those tiny, red potatoes come from. 4 Q6 F0 t# k5 ^: m u( }
6. You can confuse ships by turning your porch lights on and off at night. ( B) Z4 A* S2 W- J, J% z2 V( A: |
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEWFOUNDLAND
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- G2 [+ ]+ h% Q( [1. If Quebec separates, you will float off to sea.
5 H* s1 h; W" F' [4 y2. If you do something stupid, you have a built-in excuse.
3 _3 `4 U# x! v+ Z# U: d3. The workday is about two hours long.
% J3 H o) l0 k/ v9 s! t4. It is socially acceptable to wear your hip waders to your wedding |
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