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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN BRITISH COLUMBIA
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9 m& K+ `! |* Y/ |1. Vancouver: 1.5 million people and two bridges. You do the math.
$ L2 e) ~$ x! ]3 r2. Your $400,000 Vancouver home is just 5 hours from downtown. ' B! `- H; l* m3 D7 m
3. You can throw a rock and hit three Starbucks locations.
( t* Z, z7 j6 C5 Y6 W, ^4. There's always some sort of deforestation protest going on.
" H8 o ]6 o. [0 F, S5. Weed / E9 K3 t% d5 V0 w; y
2 X, N* D z5 q2 @# Q' } k2 U; ?TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ALBERTA 0 M5 ]' L7 ?5 d$ ^
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1. Big rock between you and B.C. 0 T6 R' o0 E2 C/ O: p
2. Ottawa who?4 Z" p5 L$ [# k4 e3 p9 o
3. Tax is 6% instead of approximately 20% as it is for the rest of the country. ! j% f2 T% Z |) y% p& E
4. You can exploit almost any natural resource you can think of. * q4 o! r) U* u% Z- B, ~& V
5. You live in the only province that could actually afford to be its own country.
' I- g3 P* f2 h# C6. The Americans below you are all in anti-government militia groups.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN SASKATCHEWAN
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1. You never run out of wheat.
3 N/ d2 \3 d; V9 `$ _( ^- R2. Your province is really easy to draw.
/ ^# G. u, g; x3. You can watch the dog run away from home for hours.
$ F6 z: O8 [# A( Q5 O$ u6 f4. People will assume you live on a farm. 9 T+ z( r r) Q9 ?+ P
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN MANITOBA ' k8 e$ R# k- F# M2 v! g
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1. You wake up one morning to find that you suddenly have a beachfront property. . B s7 n4 B5 L
2. Hundreds of huge, horribly frigid lakes. q9 i& m4 k3 Z0 C) a2 X: K
3. Nothing compares to a wicked Winnipeg winter. 6 ? V+ B" T2 K& ~, U7 \
4. You can be an Easterner or a Westerner depending on your mood. 8 g# Q! n5 z( }; l
5. You can pass the time watching trucks and barns float by. " L7 r+ J# h# z7 Q) G5 x: [' N7 W
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ONTARIO
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1. You live in the centre of the universe. + ]. J8 t! g6 i. }; k I+ l
2. Your $400,000 Toronto home is actually a dump. - ?* N# X. t- E e$ n
3. You and you alone decide who will win the federal election.
# }4 t# p* F8 ]( ?# E4. The only province with hard-core American-style crime. 7 V. u. j6 n" p4 i
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN QUEBEC
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1. Racism is socially acceptable
( Y% i. V4 p! W. }$ x" J, I# G2. You can take bets with your friends on which English neighbour will move out next. 0 S4 \, X5 I4 }& [
3. Other provinces basically bribe you to stay in Canada.
' `; d* D4 k- N% N1 _3 e4. You can blame all your problems on the "Anglo *
$ r3 h5 Z2 h) n( q5 zTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK " ^5 w) d9 |6 i; {$ h6 W, w
: e4 `* p b7 _4 g: `TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK
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1. One way or another, the government gets 98% of your income.
' `9 t w6 F: S0 e( A4 W& J( R2. You're poor, but not as poor as the Newfies. $ T4 l- J6 \* ], z% z1 @
3. No one ever blames anything on New Brunswick
V( `/ u1 o% x# a+ n1 {4. Everybody has a grandfather who runs a lighthouse.
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9 M- ?# H- C1 z8 ?9 DTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NOVA SCOTIA
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1. Everyone can play the fiddle. The ones who can't, think they can. 7 Y6 s$ P7 `+ R
2. You can pretend to have Scottish heritage as an excuse to get drunk and wear a kilt.
( k c1 a! l, p3. You are the only reason Anne Murray makes money.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN PRINCE EDWARD ISLAND $ e" @: K5 a6 |) S: S
* v+ F0 t5 ?2 I. c! @1. Even though more people live on Vancouver Island, you still got the big, new bridge. 0 Q# a8 Y, ?: x" v; s3 A# r% c: S
2. You can walk across the province in half an hour. 0 _9 x0 r2 {. }/ k1 ?: ]* g
3. You can drive across the province in two minutes.
: n3 @9 r1 N4 f5 [4. Everyone has been an extra on "Road to Avonlea." 0 Y2 i+ i9 E/ x+ T! D u8 L6 y! v% \
5. This is where all those tiny, red potatoes come from. + @# z8 i$ b0 _/ J+ v
6. You can confuse ships by turning your porch lights on and off at night. 6 H4 w+ X! J% K& i
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$ f; V. b. o) i+ j+ E% Z# XTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEWFOUNDLAND & Q. W6 Z8 @5 I
. ?3 t9 R$ H8 N! d+ H# B2 u9 l) g1. If Quebec separates, you will float off to sea. ) m! X8 \ \- v' ~( P/ [
2. If you do something stupid, you have a built-in excuse.
! g0 N; r) t# W3. The workday is about two hours long. ' T6 u' k/ ?. H+ T* o3 z
4. It is socially acceptable to wear your hip waders to your wedding |
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