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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN BRITISH COLUMBIA7 \7 E1 K9 |2 K7 z( c' J7 t
* \: S3 T: D# i0 e! x3 W1. Vancouver: 1.5 million people and two bridges. You do the math. 0 z, l6 n Z- ?3 X, E' _9 @
2. Your $400,000 Vancouver home is just 5 hours from downtown.
5 z5 l4 a: O3 y7 D. F6 X3. You can throw a rock and hit three Starbucks locations. . @7 c/ F2 i" x# n; D, U
4. There's always some sort of deforestation protest going on.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ALBERTA
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2 ^ w, C" M* K( h! k1. Big rock between you and B.C.
% v# v9 S) F& B' Z0 ^- Q9 r! L2. Ottawa who?* P$ \. a0 a. Z( J$ B& j) ~7 q" z
3. Tax is 6% instead of approximately 20% as it is for the rest of the country.
6 d4 a5 u; }2 C4. You can exploit almost any natural resource you can think of. * I, \$ W2 _1 i' `' c/ Y7 f
5. You live in the only province that could actually afford to be its own country. * l# x: [0 {! Y- \ Q, J" q0 @
6. The Americans below you are all in anti-government militia groups.
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: @! @3 o% t. m* @$ \( N. l& BTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN SASKATCHEWAN ' [, x% y3 j" e
5 [# Z0 A3 H" J+ s* i1. You never run out of wheat.
( e. m! R6 E+ w1 n2. Your province is really easy to draw. ; P7 S( q8 h2 e+ Q4 O
3. You can watch the dog run away from home for hours.
' M* z+ z3 F# h) j9 N4. People will assume you live on a farm.
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+ z' t- G% Y6 P7 F8 b5 PTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN MANITOBA . o" w6 R+ A4 @ S: E) y, k$ \) c
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1. You wake up one morning to find that you suddenly have a beachfront property.
2 N3 ^1 S, V. U% {2. Hundreds of huge, horribly frigid lakes.
6 x1 @/ Z( `% [. }3. Nothing compares to a wicked Winnipeg winter.
+ v7 S9 D' [9 n; p4. You can be an Easterner or a Westerner depending on your mood.
6 y' s0 v; @4 ~5 V' y5. You can pass the time watching trucks and barns float by. + U6 W% e' I/ H( e1 n2 b, \7 N( Y
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' e) k0 k1 Q7 N; M2 ZTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ONTARIO ( U' I1 p c9 ~. _7 T- p
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1. You live in the centre of the universe.
8 k' T9 g i2 u2. Your $400,000 Toronto home is actually a dump. 7 _- n/ }/ z" ]8 y
3. You and you alone decide who will win the federal election. 1 m' j2 p5 z7 j# d0 e2 Z. r
4. The only province with hard-core American-style crime. 2 z) V6 R' ^, r7 i- L( [; R
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN QUEBEC
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1. Racism is socially acceptable
" h! q" K& U0 Z# V0 h8 Z2 ~# U, ^, u2. You can take bets with your friends on which English neighbour will move out next.
; H# a8 |, k3 x: t5 Z8 m- V3. Other provinces basically bribe you to stay in Canada. / m* N0 B* @! y! h! e/ F
4. You can blame all your problems on the "Anglo *( I" ?0 B$ q" H# N
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK
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9 ?6 `* D2 O. f# ^9 HTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK
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1. One way or another, the government gets 98% of your income. 9 P2 o$ k7 d0 F$ v/ s. Y
2. You're poor, but not as poor as the Newfies. " z! b" H0 ?' `! ?
3. No one ever blames anything on New Brunswick 5 S" s, z" T7 Q8 B& S) K
4. Everybody has a grandfather who runs a lighthouse. # N9 Z: x6 E7 A" p! C
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+ y9 t3 u0 M9 _& y; H( JTOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NOVA SCOTIA
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1. Everyone can play the fiddle. The ones who can't, think they can. * s2 e3 _3 |3 }# J& p/ k+ z& r: s
2. You can pretend to have Scottish heritage as an excuse to get drunk and wear a kilt. 0 j8 ]* ^5 y. E% I& W" w
3. You are the only reason Anne Murray makes money.
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TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN PRINCE EDWARD ISLAND ! i& j$ M6 l. S' }: B1 z
) {$ {7 d6 j6 u, R8 {# N9 t- V1. Even though more people live on Vancouver Island, you still got the big, new bridge.
" `, @8 H7 R, R7 ~% W2. You can walk across the province in half an hour. ) ~6 [5 i- [3 |4 ]0 P4 |
3. You can drive across the province in two minutes. 3 K: x. r) I, H, ?# ~
4. Everyone has been an extra on "Road to Avonlea." + V5 t; U# j; N4 U+ G$ S
5. This is where all those tiny, red potatoes come from.
5 m! F& B9 v! Y4 R4 P8 ?& P& X( _9 Q6. You can confuse ships by turning your porch lights on and off at night. ) s; V+ {# h' o
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9 r) U1 Z) I; z+ v6 m X1 {TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEWFOUNDLAND 8 c, ] s- m8 D% w( t0 I
+ T4 R% v9 `# x4 m1. If Quebec separates, you will float off to sea. ) Y! O. z" `8 ], W
2. If you do something stupid, you have a built-in excuse. : k% T! D h \; W
3. The workday is about two hours long.
$ T7 C; c2 m5 d. \5 V4. It is socially acceptable to wear your hip waders to your wedding |
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