In the garden of my heart

Dawson

听《All I want to do...》有感，涂鸦了这首小诗。见笑，见笑！
5 i" U$ Y% {; s% |
5 k# j7 w6 G" K4 x# j0 _1 YIn the garden of my heart
You planted a tree
From sunset til dawn
; z+ d, q. i5 u- {- X: ~$ `8 AThrough darkness to light
. o8 k8 v. B- o( h! T9 e. p; l  k( A. QNourished with my soul
+ N# x1 d' ]5 }; v0 ^2 MDevoured my sorrow by thee

' |5 c. A& f, I6 PIn the memory of my life
: R$ y: K- M! Z  \. C4 P( f: tYou planted a dream
' o, e# ^+ }8 T" ^Should the sky fall down on me
7 w3 e3 }4 Q, dMay promises fade in the sea
Sewing back every broken pieces
# x' b! f5 x' M; I7 B  M5 OBursting the love out of me
* z7 e' ~5 n' Z9 s, Q1 Y) o
[mu]http://penguin.spss.sd59.bc.ca/~mqiu/images/without.mp3[/mu]

云山水月

原帖由 Dawson 于 2006-6-25 01:05 发表
- o+ X5 ?. l' M' \! b听《All I want to do...》有感，涂鸦了这首小诗。见笑，见笑！
6 K$ ]) K" z9 |% v; D
1 k% `8 \- @2 g. M+ i: }4 EIn the garden of my heart
You planted a tree
1 Z7 V$ ]' K) l, Y" hFrom sunset til dawn
Through darkness to light
0 ^# z* t, o! e+ yNourished with my soul
: I" ?) O" X+ l/ z; O* rDevoured my so ...

( @  d5 B/ A4 X1 o- F' P" ~眼没花哈。。。第一首本版的英文诗吧？

( I3 o8 A2 O" z" T9 j" n写得真好。

* Q  d& }0 {# {& A  O, e, N5 I加精加精！

Greatwall

哥们儿，你没喝多吧？没事就过来烧烟啊！

九月

汗！居然有２单词不认识。：（

Justing

原帖由 云山水月 于 2006-6-25 01:08 发表
# N& b1 ^) R+ {4 N眼没花哈。。。第一首本版的英文诗吧？
+ p- [6 l: V7 }' x  F* y写得真好。
: D+ ?6 l8 p4 H' Z0 @, u9 H* W0 U加精加精！

: r( u6 o9 \3 e* s" n( m我曾在本版也发过一首英文诗

五月

如果能谱上曲, 夕阳西下，在海天相接的海边, 轻抚吉他浅唱, 定是首动人的心曲。

微澜

原帖由 五月 于 2006-6-25 05:31 发表
  {9 e4 j% Z! D: [! P" H( |如果能谱上曲, 夕阳西下，在海天相接的海边, 轻抚吉他浅唱, 定是首动人的心曲。

五月JJ这个意境，想想实在是罗曼蒂克，不过在爱屯，海天相接是没有了，只有在湖畔雪山了：）

朱顺顺

Should the sky fall down on me--- leave out "down", as is  no good here.

# r( _" Q! |) S5 X' L* T$ tSewing back every broken pieces--- every broken piece, or all broken pieces.

Dawson

原帖由 红岫添乱 于 2006-6-29 11:06 发表
: M& O: ~0 Z9 ]( fShould the sky fall down on me--- leave out "down", as is  no good here.

- T- e$ ]/ F( x6 XSewing back every broken pieces--- every broken piece, or all broken pieces.

/ I. B; [% }" X) b, f
Thanks for your insightful comment, however I have to disagree with what you said.
( |6 g5 ]% p6 `& V4 a3 Y* F6 A
1) Sky falls down on sb. is a very common phrase or idom that's been used in a lot of occasions, meaning end of the world. For example, it was used in Savage Garden's song "truly deeply madly".
" D' f- d3 F" D3 j6 |) o: J- u
6 u) n. }2 ^; x8 t- Q2) Every broken pieces, hmmm, again broken pieces is a phrase, I know grammar wise it looks awkard, but that "S" at the end puts a nice rythem to the poem.

月光宝盒

红岫添乱 这喜滋滋的头像虽很农民，但很喜气！很有乐在其中的意境啊！

FCUK

thee 和you, 好像没有同时用的吧。
. Y3 K( m3 e: l* p+ Z; C, C+ I
Shall I compare thee to a Summer's day?

五月

原帖由 FCUK 于 2006-7-2 10:50 发表
thee 和you, 好像没有同时用的吧。
' k: e! X! z' x
8 V1 ?* {/ t) u* I% }Shall I compare thee to a Summer's day?

/ G5 U- H7 p' s, E, |
% s1 v1 R- O* M# B诗歌, 重在意境和语感, 没有那么严格教条的语法要求吧.

Dawson

原帖由 FCUK 于 2006-7-2 10:50 发表
9 r0 l$ c+ U- U4 J7 _) `, s$ Uthee 和you, 好像没有同时用的吧。
; O" t% V$ m) ?& Z+ }; W
' J% I. [! U2 w7 N. P3 M0 h) wShall I compare thee to a Summer's day?

有啊，有很多经典的例子。
8 v. U; s; g5 M  A5 M  M5 v/ J
+ @2 y( W* a! S' C; Z" Q比如Sharon A. Bryington那首著名的《While Waiting For Thee》

! W4 W  j' D3 Y& ~) ?2 y  F5 a' YDon't weep at my grave
& I9 D" M( O& T4 H2 P; VFor I am not there,
I've a date with a butterfly
' \' ?" D4 `( J) ?' M  zTo dance on the air.
0 c5 K  j* p  \1 wIf I'm missed, find a flower,
I'll be there too,
Sniffing it's fragrance
( V! s6 T3 u' P& wRight next to you.

Don't be sad
When you remember me,
; ]2 d+ p. P& y. b) |For I'm singing in the sunshine,
Wild and free,
Flirting with the lighting,
Playing tag with the wind,
5 _  _# Z7 h$ f; g" E, rChasing the thunder
Time and again,
, H4 r: S1 E- {% H+ z: X+ FSoaring with the eagle,
) q( }$ {( r3 w+ oSwimming in the sea,
4 p! i& W! b0 x" j' i; C4 oEnjoying all of nature
/ N4 |# D6 |# }! m% WWhile I'm waiting for thee.