 鲜花( 634)  鸡蛋( 5)
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Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
; o% H' u& {! F) p( H' h请注意,以下序号都是1不是误写
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1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.' i- H1 d3 a" P% Z! I7 v6 Q5 Y
1,男人不是你肚子里的蛔虫
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' w; s: V: u. X& i+ E1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it% n3 ?, l0 M, E; k/ n3 c" x
down.: ?0 K6 R2 l& k9 V4 L/ d/ V6 G9 ]
We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about
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% E" ]# ?5 t6 |0 R2 I3 nleaving it down.
- Z' l. R3 U5 q x- {1,学会使用马桶盖,你是个大姑娘了,马桶盖要是翻起来了,你就放下去。我们需要盖子翻起来,你们需要放下去,你们什么时候听骨哦我们抱怨你们把马桶盖放下去?; a8 s( {: w# L ~7 ] Y
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1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.. h8 q) C2 f' }/ \" L6 D6 d
Let it be./ p) j; h w' W, @9 r! q0 j
1,周日的体育,无论它像满月还是潮汐,随他去
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- p- F; D8 a/ I; c1 M1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it! U: D4 u2 \6 i/ u( C& b! ?' h1 n$ n
that way.8 d1 X9 j4 V% x: G
1,购物不是体育。不,也别指望我们能那么想!4 }7 [: V; Z- B6 A* O
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1. Crying is blackmail.
' i O5 P+ E" D# L" w1 o4 y5 Z& }1,哭泣是敲诈
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6 |! k& i3 y3 ?4 M T1. Ask for what you want.
8 y0 O0 I4 N7 u' U, I7 z. C+ MLet us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!
5 q0 [: H$ b5 [ |$ aStrong hints do not work!8 U( q7 p5 _6 J
Obvious hints do not work!
# S' ^ G3 u; \- R! UJust say it!
# O: d3 k0 l2 t. y) B; P) ~1,你想要什么就说
! L5 v' v$ z! Y' D2 f: G我们再说得清楚点,小暗示不管用,强烈按时不管用,明显的暗示也不管用!想干吗你明说!
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1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every 3 T+ M8 f/ @5 W9 s9 _
question.
! S( _" H9 k, B( K% s2 @1, yes 和no 是回答问题的绝好答案。 (意思是,丈夫仅仅说是,不是,妻子不满意)& j; \' T9 T4 t/ t! O8 N$ G: ~
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1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's
2 R* X* E b4 \( Zwhat we do.
" `# z0 J1 Q% U; B- V/ E9 KSympathy is what your girlfriends are for.! F. p6 z6 n N- B5 ~" F* K
1,如果你有麻烦,可以来找我们帮助解决,可是不要仅仅为了获取同情,那是你们女朋友的责任。
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5 R) f1 |+ F( A r: Y- X( N1 }1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.5 ^9 u* Y' ?, x
1,你要是头疼了17个月,那你应该看医生去4 s- v; E: E0 l3 |4 G1 w1 a
3 [( I7 Y, o: h; V) b2 j1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
9 n1 {! L% M5 R2 O2 wIn fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days." W' d" w" T/ J3 f: y" x3 a
我们6个月前说的话在争吵中不许再提及,事实上,我们说的话7天后就作废了
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1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us0 r- o& n7 C+ u% i
to act like soap opera guys.
- G. [. X0 F+ h6 y. o* @# ^1,如果你不能穿的像个维多利亚的秘密(性感品牌)的女孩子们,那么也别指望我们行为象肥皂剧里面的男明星们
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1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
, D5 B% Q' f. d2 Q1,你要是觉得你胖,那你八成就胖,别问我们0 h6 w+ s# W' M( q7 f
% @$ U% d2 z& ?1 H/ J: k- a' U1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways
4 U! J9 V! v3 i3 i! t; umakes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
7 r# a/ ]" r) F0 {7 w1 如果我们说的话可以被理解成两种意思,而其中一种意思令你们伤心或者愤怒,那么我们本来是另一种意思。" _ ]) T! P: [, @' W+ G8 i
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(谁有工夫继续一下,谢谢)
1 [1 a: D3 [4 k" |) z) g1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it. m) v3 l/ u+ T( d; H0 U6 N3 ] ]
done. Not both.; {# p* T8 ~9 F
If you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself.
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1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during- n7 E2 a5 w. U; x+ ^* Q% ~( T
commercials.
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1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.; J- R( P5 c3 D; h# X q3 m# T
4 [% V9 @) A( s1 L! f0 N1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.; D: r: Y! u! a0 D8 o+ b
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.0 H$ B& x; T9 s$ S9 v( f) y
We have no idea what mauve is.
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; f b* X: j: p7 |) U1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.6 v% w- k3 L5 @5 V1 K* i4 }! {6 T7 E( r
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1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like
4 V& \: d$ }2 V0 wnothing's wrong.; @$ n9 I, T0 ]
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle./ B% \- I1 h. N8 e! Q
( ?4 [. b( @# E4 l9 S; N1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer: o; H: p9 d4 h: O5 U1 Q. x
you don't want to hear.
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; u3 \# x8 J8 H) K7 n E4 u$ y1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is
4 E1 q' h8 V& n! gfine...Really.0 x$ s% _& f0 \5 u) _$ @
" O" i# j1 S8 q6 }1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to% c1 |$ L m% S+ f+ \" _
discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.
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1. You have enough clothes.
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6 ]8 l) l. ?# g5 e5 z1. You have too many shoes.5 |. t& P7 k6 W* ?" ?4 p
, |4 y' d, f- @. J( [* w2 _1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!3 z3 N" }. U; v/ ?
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1. Thank you for reading this.
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8 c0 q6 B4 S4 X1 K, U: MYes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
9 `7 }6 Z6 Z! \4 I0 V* rBut did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
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" \( S+ F5 n) {3 uPass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.
5 P8 H4 R; U" Q; [' nPass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh |
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