 鲜花( 634)  鸡蛋( 5)
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Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
" h+ M( `& ~ c6 Y# m请注意，以下序号都是1不是误写
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1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.
9 C: r% V" U( u1，男人不是你肚子里的蛔虫
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1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it5 J& O# M/ |, i( o9 w O
down.& s0 `4 ^ F+ n3 @8 h5 A9 t
We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about
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leaving it down.0 {, q/ {) s# j1 R! T
1，学会使用马桶盖，你是个大姑娘了，马桶盖要是翻起来了，你就放下去。我们需要盖子翻起来，你们需要放下去，你们什么时候听骨哦我们抱怨你们把马桶盖放下去？' Z, e2 N# j: o8 u! @
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1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.1 d8 |; j* G9 u; D* X3 x& X
Let it be.
5 x: Z1 m+ `! ]# g& h- D* @4 e: b6 x1，周日的体育，无论它像满月还是潮汐，随他去! R5 _. [' C% G6 v
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1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it) o- y4 @% j, A" }1 K. N) F
that way.
( g0 O2 Y( [# w+ H: r, ]1，购物不是体育。不，也别指望我们能那么想！; z. m# A( @- L; H: v
% } n7 J# K% y/ v4 z$ t1. Crying is blackmail.0 z. _1 [$ w# C+ l
1，哭泣是敲诈% M; ~8 k1 c8 O t
5 t( b6 h1 S6 ]. ~" [% H% N1. Ask for what you want.
. e I. E, M7 |8 k9 V" k& D k) KLet us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!' r3 s( x" A% m# U' A4 I& H
Strong hints do not work!
$ u U; P3 v) v% L- gObvious hints do not work!
9 H9 |) W0 ^1 yJust say it!* \6 F+ @2 ^ P1 ?- r
1，你想要什么就说
% [. o; w: Y7 d( A我们再说得清楚点，小暗示不管用，强烈按时不管用，明显的暗示也不管用！想干吗你明说！! Q$ L/ e4 z. _
* q6 m) ~4 z1 g. ~2 D. W' w1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every
2 t/ [; R* `/ W# dquestion.
! I$ ~ h6 _% s$ j0 m3 u1, yes 和no 是回答问题的绝好答案。 （意思是，丈夫仅仅说是，不是，妻子不满意）
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+ E) V4 _4 b9 u& q/ k& z+ `1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's
- |& c1 j9 P. a& Y* B, q1 u. B. r1 bwhat we do.
3 x9 Y p! @; _2 s- pSympathy is what your girlfriends are for." @9 O% {7 _# r! A1 \
1，如果你有麻烦，可以来找我们帮助解决，可是不要仅仅为了获取同情，那是你们女朋友的责任。; {' v( L( R1 Z: _ a# [3 f& e
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1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.% {. w& t- k1 ?+ `
1，你要是头疼了17个月，那你应该看医生去/ N4 M+ h4 J# g' W/ [
: h9 U! s/ d$ {0 X. R' p1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument." \) r. D2 _$ H* u! n/ o
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.- P0 Z" b" F- I0 d% Q0 f0 }) U" l
我们6个月前说的话在争吵中不许再提及，事实上，我们说的话7天后就作废了7 r6 L3 y4 A6 t% Q4 l, S0 F. t
& K2 u0 r6 H6 @( I1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us
+ K1 ?* ]& O/ B& \, Dto act like soap opera guys.
+ B( Z6 m7 S) m# c9 a6 q/ A8 I4 _1，如果你不能穿的像个维多利亚的秘密（性感品牌）的女孩子们，那么也别指望我们行为象肥皂剧里面的男明星们- e3 i9 q, m# x9 }% h r$ z
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1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.9 [1 e) L$ \+ V- l. E. X
1，你要是觉得你胖，那你八成就胖，别问我们
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1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways9 o! t) b& E' @& X
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.* ^+ N, n* `2 b/ n$ j6 U0 j8 S3 I7 p1 y
1 如果我们说的话可以被理解成两种意思，而其中一种意思令你们伤心或者愤怒，那么我们本来是另一种意思。
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（谁有工夫继续一下，谢谢）
; E/ g8 a9 V9 F1 G1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it
! l- j* E m* [: I* t: o0 zdone. Not both.
8 f) T/ ]8 g. h! l9 v& n5 KIf you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself.
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1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during7 C4 j+ ]% X8 i
commercials.4 j' w+ X/ o( Z- x9 `0 @) w
7 U% G9 a2 N% Y% K( H4 E1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
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' }2 g2 {; k0 C# `1 g1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.* X9 C$ t3 F" ?) W3 ]* f9 a6 K' `
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
7 ?5 v/ k2 ?% Z8 P& z* j+ U- S% VWe have no idea what mauve is.6 d: W G+ W) `' k) t
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1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.; q0 c; m( x5 ?8 b/ t9 I7 v" `
$ Y0 ~2 B. w3 b& A7 ^; \) n1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like: ~" t6 ^9 g8 O0 | }# e" D
nothing's wrong.
: _, T% r7 D8 A* z% n! y7 L) _) XWe know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
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4 \* y) T3 Y% M2 M! A1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer
" ^0 W% Q6 S- _you don't want to hear.
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* U1 r( P- P. F- l( `1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is9 F: s0 b( M+ H$ e, o
fine...Really." s. }4 v" J6 J. |
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1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to B8 F2 U; m# b' |( W; i3 ?$ ~
discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf. Y' G) q/ E* P" X; U
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1. You have enough clothes.
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1. You have too many shoes.
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/ R+ P. ]: ?0 z0 g5 P* y/ R' K1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
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1. Thank you for reading this.
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3 P2 j8 w0 F1 A2 x& l6 l+ [8 }) U8 uYes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;6 P" A( {& W2 C4 s2 a
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
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Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.
; z. W5 r& i/ a* pPass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2005-11-11 13:05
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发表于 2005-11-11 13:06
楼主
发表于 2005-11-11 16:47
