 鲜花( 634)  鸡蛋( 5)
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Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!5 G* I. O* a0 N' C) U
请注意，以下序号都是1不是误写
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6 H3 J$ K* t+ c! t5 @/ W1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.
' t) W: d! ]. v9 M6 Z1，男人不是你肚子里的蛔虫
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1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it( v: M: R, E; z! S2 z8 p
down.$ t& c, x) n' e) N
We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about ; \7 S& \7 K8 B% Y- m% S$ @
you
U6 w9 j% `. x4 [6 V- Tleaving it down.6 X: u/ Y& L5 R' p
1，学会使用马桶盖，你是个大姑娘了，马桶盖要是翻起来了，你就放下去。我们需要盖子翻起来，你们需要放下去，你们什么时候听骨哦我们抱怨你们把马桶盖放下去？
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1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
6 G. i( Y6 ?% WLet it be.7 k z r) u+ K8 C+ F2 D: ~
1，周日的体育，无论它像满月还是潮汐，随他去
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. q6 @% P {: V1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it4 Q5 l5 c% u& H- b# P. \4 f+ m" H
that way.* U" C1 ]. O/ {$ h, y7 R& k y7 T1 _
1，购物不是体育。不，也别指望我们能那么想！/ u5 w, A$ k1 _, j3 e7 l
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1. Crying is blackmail.4 h; V; C' g- x$ x
1，哭泣是敲诈8 ]$ X9 }. Z3 [4 N+ e
/ q2 o) P; G5 ~8 h7 f1. Ask for what you want.
0 b" _; I( O" m" ]% H/ {Let us be clear on this one:Subtle hints do not work!$ L6 ~4 l0 R* n+ z# S8 b
Strong hints do not work!5 u5 g$ A" S2 U- i+ Z
Obvious hints do not work!& p9 e: d# ?6 w* K6 K
Just say it!
/ [) g) } W/ a% J1，你想要什么就说4 D- R9 V. I: i7 G
我们再说得清楚点，小暗示不管用，强烈按时不管用，明显的暗示也不管用！想干吗你明说！* [7 v& h1 ~+ \5 N4 S8 d5 Z- m" @5 I
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1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every + q" ~ k/ b+ b! L; E
question.% a( K# G& E# F7 f; M; M6 E/ s
1, yes 和no 是回答问题的绝好答案。 （意思是，丈夫仅仅说是，不是，妻子不满意）
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( S9 x& V# F1 U7 R; x! Y& [+ ?1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's7 G/ e% j. V7 a: P4 R' ^3 O! _: R
what we do.
- x R- \; \) c0 T! bSympathy is what your girlfriends are for.3 R% ]3 j1 Z$ S5 J
1，如果你有麻烦，可以来找我们帮助解决，可是不要仅仅为了获取同情，那是你们女朋友的责任。
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) y2 i: ^" p% l1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.* ] P# m2 e9 Q$ i* Q- q; c' g: E
1，你要是头疼了17个月，那你应该看医生去
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( y& f$ \; y& l$ y1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.. W/ `% c1 T) ]: s; I( @1 y
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.5 z; }5 `6 {' `. H, i; e6 ^& t- b
我们6个月前说的话在争吵中不许再提及，事实上，我们说的话7天后就作废了
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1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us6 p- N% T+ N8 U! Y
to act like soap opera guys.1 I: C- e `# v4 t" ^ h \$ @
1，如果你不能穿的像个维多利亚的秘密（性感品牌）的女孩子们，那么也别指望我们行为象肥皂剧里面的男明星们, q( \% x/ m$ ^
" c1 q; g3 ~" d1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.3 X% A* z- u" M( m4 Z4 O4 P; o H
1，你要是觉得你胖，那你八成就胖，别问我们
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1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways
0 g, l* b$ S3 N" d" Qmakes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
! ~8 R/ d: ~; C1 如果我们说的话可以被理解成两种意思，而其中一种意思令你们伤心或者愤怒，那么我们本来是另一种意思。
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（谁有工夫继续一下，谢谢）" c( L9 h* N; X. _& V7 h
1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it D0 \" V' u" v3 U6 O
done. Not both.
3 I' c. Y6 P( B2 K1 ]If you already know best how to do it, ! just do it yourself.
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8 j: }: j4 C! ^# Y& A, U* J1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during
( s2 D; N3 L1 B- Qcommercials.
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8 W% o. ]/ @1 i" h: k0 w1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
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# z- e) ^% J& X1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
/ J, q8 p! h- _# y7 D, q+ N v( |3 }Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
# p) L: L( O/ s- s' WWe have no idea what mauve is.- i3 r9 C4 n2 m. ^: l
- I7 x* Q- N; f* I) b' T9 d1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.2 k0 R# w# k. x- Z+ ~( A( B
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1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like e* P! Z( F- `/ M. S$ r
nothing's wrong.
$ S* y- C) j( E! QWe know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
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1 v# n2 D V6 }- ~1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer
( T! }; S* V- S1 L B4 xyou don't want to hear.
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1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is" J l, Q- }% c7 r8 h
fine...Really.
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7 S3 ^, y1 b/ z4 u; |1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
6 Z' J$ s4 D9 p& o! ]; @discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.1 |$ g/ ]- c2 E$ v0 o' D
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1. You have enough clothes.7 y7 q* d! `+ \. U; D4 j
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1. You have too many shoes.4 W2 W& d! g* _4 F# Y
2 E& p' x+ u9 v1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
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& V" N( y' V. C* S9 ^! V2 T1. Thank you for reading this.
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Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;: p0 ~0 z3 z" i: r+ j4 }
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
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, o% G& A |8 NPass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.! n1 `- J3 V1 z& g
Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2005-11-11 13:05
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发表于 2005-11-11 13:06
楼主
发表于 2005-11-11 16:47
