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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON:
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: 'ED-MIN-TIN'.
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) k9 ?8 k4 i r7 a6 x. d1 \5 U2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 a.m. to noon. The evening rush
, g9 U6 \- x. n0 C) R, z2 N4 ? ~hour is from noon to 8:00 p.m. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday
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3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph. On the QE2,
3 `* P/ l4 `9 J. ]" S; @) Gyou are expected to match the speed of the airplanes coming in for a
" R: O4 R" v9 H8 glanding at the airport. Anything less is considered 'Wussy'.
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4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
- v6 @# t4 k8 p6 J% h9 m- R# Mown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest% @- G% f2 U: C8 v; }7 i! y/ @7 \
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
& U$ B2 t# F/ F6 k" x% W$ S3 Fgo second. However, in Southwest Edmonton, SUV-driving, cell2 r. X7 j! l& _6 q l ~! B9 Q
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.* B9 W0 c3 n; i
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5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,* `) r1 x; t1 n
cussed out, and possibly shot.3 v; w4 w2 N0 V9 b+ p2 g5 P$ w N) ]6 O
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6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can$ @6 v! K& X3 [& R5 }3 }& s
get you shot.! o$ W$ {) A3 i2 H: t+ `1 b
`4 [# _5 s8 R. K; S3 } \9 W7. Exception to Rule #6: If you are the 4th car back from a light that( a7 L2 w( S9 g' }
has turned green, you must honk your horn to alert the vehicle first at
( x: g9 e2 i" e& y0 P' Gthe intersection that the light has changed. Vehicle 2 & 3 won't shoot
+ ~/ j; C9 `, r, W3 ^you as they are too busy trying to figure out how to ram the first. l8 u# p; G; |* m: x
vehicle through the intersection." k' k% U" L' w+ d" B i
4 R: H1 P& w; K$ Z5 C8. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton. Detour
6 U9 `3 z( B$ M4 B9 x0 r1 obarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
8 a6 U L4 h( `day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and% ^; P# |9 Q ~' H+ O7 @' X" N
more construction starts everyday.
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9. Watch carefully for road hazards such as skunks, dogs, cats,
# x! D& L% D/ [- q5 ?& adeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
- ]3 d; N% G, l; Zsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items." d5 Y( e3 c/ I* C* j! q* P; d8 p
3 ^3 ?' i) ]' n! @/ U, H# j10. Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are the same
8 a# w) D+ M' R) T* B! Lroad. In the same manner, Whyte Avenue, Sherwood Park Freeway and Wye) d4 {) w$ b+ V% [7 _5 G j
Road are the same road; Wayne Gretzky Drive, 75 Street and
- a/ V3 N! r7 k( r% X/ O4 `66 Street are also the same road; got it?, K2 G. e# W/ p! O0 K# {
- L+ E8 I) g. z# ]11. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the2 L# F5 M5 I& E$ N; E8 E0 n8 S/ S* X
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been 'accidentally2 i/ ?6 w3 ], b ?. W# X7 b$ B- m
Activated.'
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0 L( k* X: Z+ B& R12. If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km zone,
8 u' S# Z7 x: m [% b9 Qyou are considered a road hazard and will be 'flipped off', i( U. ~3 S2 O* ]7 _
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.. q; S( D* a" ?5 d- i
. c+ b6 s) `. j) c* y, \" S8 ^13. For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
7 r, ]# H5 c. Q& ]4 z7 n$ ^0 o& flined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and5 p l" y( I# t3 h" W5 I
blankets in the vehicle. |
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发表于 2010-2-16 12:01
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发表于 2010-2-16 22:55
