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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON:
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$ {# i9 H1 X3 V# y9 {; e1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: 'ED-MIN-TIN'.) r( G" d8 E' L- V0 E* g; y3 l
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 a.m. to noon. The evening rush4 p f, Y# f- d, Z
hour is from noon to 8:00 p.m. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday
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3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 130 kph. On the QE2,* ]6 E5 r" X! \! _
you are expected to match the speed of the airplanes coming in for a& A4 z' m0 B% L A, Z4 ^. ~0 v
landing at the airport. Anything less is considered 'Wussy'.
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4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its2 r1 R. h% _* P& l2 o
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest9 L) q/ U8 R5 p# B8 p5 K9 q. L
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires" D5 Z: X, N; X0 @2 n S" E9 L
go second. However, in Southwest Edmonton, SUV-driving, cell3 d# H8 P- t& ]! ~
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
, c5 I* u* l6 V1 E' ]8 e6 ocussed out, and possibly shot.6 K3 B$ m* U4 N7 P! t
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6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can% w5 G$ C: s) E8 Q( R- A
get you shot.* D5 I$ ?' _$ V2 E
- U5 N# x( }# w t! y# I, Z7. Exception to Rule #6: If you are the 4th car back from a light that
9 {$ n* H$ L. p }has turned green, you must honk your horn to alert the vehicle first at
0 s3 w! w( X! I, {7 tthe intersection that the light has changed. Vehicle 2 & 3 won't shoot
8 F1 K* L9 K" u4 D+ Oyou as they are too busy trying to figure out how to ram the first
! B o: f! q1 J, z- u0 c: }vehicle through the intersection.: G! D& |& g! P0 ?
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8. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton. Detour7 L$ P+ y. f3 X0 U) C3 c4 q
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next. {8 Z: d. s8 n8 S1 V- g6 O
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and) w: w% J+ C3 |; v/ e
more construction starts everyday.- u( d& W# a4 ~6 O7 B1 u0 R1 Y/ w9 W
$ I+ \' C% y$ l8 X! W9. Watch carefully for road hazards such as skunks, dogs, cats,* x0 _+ [+ Z1 S" e7 C" }
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
1 t) B$ [& f2 D0 qsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.6 I* W2 ?% `& W( C! ~# W3 H) H& K
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10. Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are the same8 [& n& I& Y3 d, }' h
road. In the same manner, Whyte Avenue, Sherwood Park Freeway and Wye
8 l' Z- W# Z: F0 lRoad are the same road; Wayne Gretzky Drive, 75 Street and
, K% P( M1 ?# P9 ]' e( ~2 N6 L66 Street are also the same road; got it?4 X, Z# f: y( [* U. L) @# a
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11. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the/ X* E: ?" L3 r/ G
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been 'accidentally7 Y% ~) v5 ?3 k+ n* A' Y% R% ^
Activated.', N8 n, _/ e6 z- B+ g: `
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12. If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km zone,1 Q$ x' {8 y: ?" w# C$ u
you are considered a road hazard and will be 'flipped off'+ x* O4 E! T8 {: ?
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot./ O2 |# s1 B; F, f/ [4 z
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13. For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur* @% d9 F6 V- z# o
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
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发表于 2010-2-16 12:01
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发表于 2010-2-16 22:55
