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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
- c+ {* H% H* d. z& [) e: Gbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was X0 V$ u, p- C8 D2 \. y
the other possibility.
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6 L8 E' V8 G' J/ A- q+ GAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English" V9 R, v0 z* c/ M
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in6 t" e7 @ Y1 M! ?5 ^6 X4 ?4 W+ F4 Y/ v
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".0 [0 _7 `9 l1 L- h5 I% u
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
; S* J4 o4 P- o+ cthe sivil servants jump with joy.
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0 S( T. v7 e3 bThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up7 a7 i( m4 D2 c
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.5 f, v! j% ]- i J% r7 E. }
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, C2 |6 J: i9 X. M% uThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the1 s6 d! v) z9 {% }8 A! M- a, X+ k
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like5 X) T/ [( {, n% [3 N( |
fotograf 20% shorter.
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to5 e2 D& b) Z* I
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.' H/ D) n, R, ~
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always/ X9 l+ s) Y' d$ }' x
ben a deterent to akurate speling.$ ?+ b: X% D4 B
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
; M+ i8 w$ I, k+ P( F( U8 Bdisgrasful and it should go away.
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6 a6 ^8 P8 L# j4 y$ {+ bBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with$ H& V s4 g- Z i, v2 }
"z" and "w" with "v".
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7 H# @5 V! C. }' sDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and6 l Z% u0 @1 `' K B
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.' v" u! c1 s5 \# S! X
- H/ |+ i7 G2 ]. n9 S* ]: ?9 dZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
6 R3 e4 g" k4 L- \understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru." b" N( h* ?. i: Z
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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