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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will' j/ ^( |7 w" C: i; R
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
0 i! _9 K h4 K0 s8 i; ethe other possibility.
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, } A8 k6 i+ x) Y$ r$ u% y# yAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
2 g3 J3 H. ~) U- w9 v8 S6 Jspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in/ h- |' c( m( }1 w
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".! h6 @# q5 t, @1 L
1 t! d$ U7 ?& e0 x9 @$ lIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
8 W- u8 Q+ H5 p+ |% J D( Hthe sivil servants jump with joy.9 d+ J6 `# ~9 {# u2 ~
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up4 x" @! G* j: z0 k
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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5 C3 r3 g- t/ OThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the8 F8 u% O [% K0 z }. `% ]" z; \
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
; e* w! R S0 }. Kfotograf 20% shorter.3 S, S# v! o' z, W
" H/ f5 [* ]" qIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to& H" K+ c( Z- a3 R7 f8 q
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.- j# @, x! j2 e( `/ U2 X) R0 }
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
; Q' ]" a+ B! c# y' k( H+ cben a deterent to akurate speling.( n8 [ X' C8 {4 Z5 N: j" X
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is& [" \0 o0 N4 J$ m( q5 m
disgrasful and it should go away.0 p x7 @; Z( u3 k: V$ {6 r
1 D: _& V" h0 e) N& S9 SBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with; N) H- n, p$ B- P! j7 R
"z" and "w" with "v".1 g; s1 Z% Q1 i4 \
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and' t* q$ j! D) Z* \# M3 C
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu+ |$ {$ k) y7 X" V
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
( }) T! b/ I! ?+ K" e; ^0 L3 GUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
+ K$ m2 ?* r/ {forst plas.
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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