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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
. w8 l' b! |; S8 v+ R1 rbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
2 s; }. {+ i: h& e! t0 _the other possibility.9 P' z& c1 X0 u
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
) E# V* t9 j% p4 u( Q! @* q+ yspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in% O) ^' i- J* g/ w4 B& o) k
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".( s1 J) A: [6 L6 ]0 s
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make V/ u4 H8 l! A4 Y3 G
the sivil servants jump with joy.
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up% C. [# q- X* [$ E$ |5 q- x$ j
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
3 p+ R. a, x i# K$ }: J# @) `troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like* a2 `% Y2 F4 C: F0 Y
fotograf 20% shorter.
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to9 e: F: }6 c( p8 ~1 @; t9 P. f, v& E! W1 Z
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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! Y. Q `; W5 q6 V$ lGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always( D3 l1 P( ^! o: L
ben a deterent to akurate speling.
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4 ^: |; U: `" xAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is( F" N, A7 p0 v7 R, w$ J
disgrasful and it should go away.
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& T* {$ n8 Z4 Y# e' L' B* ~! oBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
& Q; \. k$ y7 h( x"z" and "w" with "v".
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
i5 M/ M5 j( Y' bafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl. K% `5 _ o/ P: a$ m: c2 t
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu7 L) C% |1 X/ h
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.8 o, t( u0 J9 ^, P- e3 ~1 k
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze0 m& j4 P. f3 H$ J' |" ?& S
forst plas.
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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