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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will1 u; T3 B, P: w0 E4 L& |! K1 I
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
; b" c5 `2 r Bthe other possibility.
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English5 i7 D/ \7 G5 m8 C% Z
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in6 a+ Z' C+ U8 x$ S5 s4 v# p' D
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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9 f O5 \- w6 U) k' s- zIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
. d" f: F* ?1 i- j; W) mthe sivil servants jump with joy.5 c; O5 _7 m* ^. H r$ i+ l0 L1 b
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
4 U0 M$ `) m0 w+ \konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.# r4 t% z5 O& Z. i
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
( y) F4 l$ j8 A7 ktroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like9 }0 t) p; r$ d% N" `
fotograf 20% shorter.+ j0 l) s0 D. d" S
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to* ]' _* d# I* {1 J B4 A& l
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.% n" s# F, j7 f& ~& N; ^* {% J
, e# }" h% p& P0 X3 OGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always* |2 i( x: S H4 ?; G
ben a deterent to akurate speling.
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
% @0 q: O3 {! `disgrasful and it should go away.
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with, U) `. J/ o: U, y& l' ^6 A
"z" and "w" with "v".+ ~7 \! ]% V ? K( e4 X6 f# m
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and/ t+ W, G: |$ `' N
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl. e) l* k% L, v% d8 F9 S
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
# z8 K) j& V0 _9 f) P4 d$ m. V( xunderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
+ @& S) C$ y2 n$ `) d1 H2 Q1 SUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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