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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will, ^1 T, I" U1 q
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
1 @+ B7 i! a; \; R" Hthe other possibility.
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: o; w F1 Q; s8 L3 ]" lAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
/ c8 L# Y' W5 |/ j/ ]! Ospelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
& z6 ]& m% I# Wplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".( M( t0 N. y8 w1 v- A; C4 A. e
* g$ u" h5 W! J8 G& l7 XIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
9 @' n, a( s: _4 Z5 Nthe sivil servants jump with joy.; d0 A& ]7 Z5 J
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
3 y9 }0 L# _3 A, H, N2 ^& l7 Nkonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.3 d' {8 B- b0 ^/ @
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' X) k% B' E4 w4 r9 k- GThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the! \1 b/ r! ]: F5 Y8 j
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like; x) r* S" C2 v
fotograf 20% shorter.
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
. V- I# K) F( D9 e/ h- sreach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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6 q) F6 [# d& A- U9 z( l4 t1 q# o1 cGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
, m2 F! S: r# m. t" [! @9 R k; Qben a deterent to akurate speling.6 Z) a5 A( m* E1 u7 M3 K
& g- X) o# X7 k+ I; mAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is* ]" d3 P4 a) @
disgrasful and it should go away.8 N& O2 O' w s8 y
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with1 ^; h& T* T. \
"z" and "w" with "v".
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
( `6 {- g; I& G1 Z7 Uafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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* l4 w5 e. ~- oZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu8 o1 a! j9 n* g' W5 j
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
2 W: _+ U! J7 ~* A# W1 V+ mUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
, L* M ?% |) ?2 v$ S5 Tforst plas.
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! x( I9 J2 O! X: H0 L$ Y! {! iIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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