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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will3 t* P; ^, {% q! s& ^8 H
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was; v6 t7 ?+ {4 o E- k
the other possibility.
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( _. @; }) C8 z$ i2 sAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
! Q7 M$ G; _" v' N5 Uspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
2 G& G E; O% ~* Q% ]$ Zplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".9 j2 \% q2 b% d$ K/ a, {/ D
0 ]: U2 D/ \0 }0 [6 VIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make) @( [/ X' k3 Q0 {" J; t1 i& U
the sivil servants jump with joy.2 I/ e1 u( W/ J6 h1 h& @- g
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up( Z# y6 W; Z4 x& E0 f5 v
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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' L' _1 k' s- d2 g' e) W9 S+ sThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
$ z$ P2 W( z) c9 J/ F% ]troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like# R2 r8 q4 v- P1 G% U& P
fotograf 20% shorter.
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
& l2 v+ o+ N" }5 a! k8 O/ preach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
7 f7 \8 B8 v/ c k7 gben a deterent to akurate speling.- @$ C, ?* F. R. m
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
& O% Z' j/ ?' b1 o; ?8 ~% adisgrasful and it should go away.; }; K+ @7 B9 v6 m/ X
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with$ f3 y. p- E! g/ m
"z" and "w" with "v".
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and, g$ _* W6 i5 [7 a% o4 Y$ ~
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.5 S: B" e5 D. z( U- Q- }5 [2 j
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
1 k1 b9 u) H7 _; Y3 Z6 N; ?; Lunderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru. P/ U& m( X+ L5 E9 I3 G: }1 f
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze' ^2 A* p5 `0 Z" @7 D$ J
forst plas.7 \4 I3 N8 l z6 S0 N5 O0 q
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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