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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will$ ]' {4 Q8 b$ z
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
4 m0 }& I- Z' \( i* bthe other possibility." z; Q7 X* M6 c/ }1 M' ]
) U; B% p! n* {2 nAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
, L# ?! s0 w- K0 J. a" Xspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
: Y9 n) L, ~& ? zplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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4 ~4 ^, r r. L2 e3 m' mIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
: c- T/ W, L9 O1 Y1 K% A$ [the sivil servants jump with joy. D+ V! b/ }; p$ W
( }8 s$ E0 p& c3 JThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up0 |- `5 H, {7 O: c
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.: J! x: D# M9 `$ C! o! K" _* l
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7 A; N5 w* a5 o2 g- h; y0 D9 c- JThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
+ A9 j* h& s. Z3 U$ {: atroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
- b" P( I; N; n; j$ z4 {" e- zfotograf 20% shorter./ s; c# j, m+ p
# P7 S9 I# S( P! ~+ j& B3 u
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
, Q& |: ?$ ~' g; f6 areach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always$ T+ m9 i7 }0 d
ben a deterent to akurate speling.
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" B$ `+ A; f8 AAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is) b9 K, `; P, P- _: D& c
disgrasful and it should go away.
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
4 X E- S8 n1 z4 [7 E"z" and "w" with "v"." s' X' t/ g* u- x3 y7 A/ B
/ A% [0 R/ d+ g7 }During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
& s0 Y9 {# @$ p. j: I; @) ]after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.3 q5 s, P' [2 p& g0 P& z" `5 n
3 m# J# c: O$ z) Y; T0 ?5 Z6 Y/ W2 qZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu A4 ^$ y& M! B4 D* m; @0 P
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
( U' S1 u0 W: \* KUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze$ f; ~* A+ g) }5 R" `* ]* r$ R3 Z3 C
forst plas.
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5 R' t% W. J! gIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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