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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will3 S r2 _/ I: U3 S* c" ], H
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
: i8 _" a, E" @ j+ H/ [the other possibility.6 W$ \: _8 d+ t( f4 Y& S; F1 j/ s: o
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English3 H$ v1 ?( ?6 Q2 B
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
1 p" f0 M5 e0 S& h9 W6 L1 iplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
% p3 u+ |2 G( a6 T+ @5 @6 m+ `the sivil servants jump with joy.3 K" {- E; K; g( }
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
) T2 t5 f2 y7 J4 B* G! X3 Q- wkonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.# L8 d% X t, l# f' E+ I1 V( X4 X
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- Z$ Q* O2 a9 L+ }2 }+ o
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the1 t6 W8 q+ K3 p
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like+ M8 o( V( _3 O* F8 M ~& O
fotograf 20% shorter.7 S' x6 P* o( J( K
+ p+ j* W" u$ M9 B: `/ D! Y f! JIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to+ l ?8 Z: k1 i6 e& C4 Q
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.1 R& l6 d. g" z; }! O8 ?7 o
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
1 f6 I* {8 U% m+ K' sben a deterent to akurate speling.
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3 t: w5 m! O# g8 P7 ^Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
/ N" v7 X; y! ^8 j- L6 `2 Fdisgrasful and it should go away.* h% a8 Z4 W" _ y$ a( g4 T
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
0 j5 e3 d5 V; K8 K6 {9 u"z" and "w" with "v".
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8 z, K! R% ~8 z. {) o: xDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and0 o) i0 f4 @9 v! S8 W) L2 x2 O
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.7 O, l* ?! o7 P$ O
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
$ U2 o# a1 |* ?! F7 u5 G/ Vunderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
$ ^2 T: c- w9 NUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze- B. W- v/ G, U0 i7 c' Y
forst plas.
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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