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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will# s" u- ^$ g2 L' D
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was7 a; a/ w+ ~, J! C/ [
the other possibility.
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; u* S m* v6 _% S" R0 K2 m. ]. NAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English0 x( h0 a' \- S: C8 G' `+ l5 U: |
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in4 b- f! q( }0 K' p
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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) H4 j7 K2 f6 l1 D* h8 h% ~ RIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make) e9 W6 V0 n2 t% t
the sivil servants jump with joy.
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
+ o. ]7 u9 s/ D: Ykonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the% h2 z/ W. @, P# ?4 b
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
; R$ ~9 V, K" [0 h: Xfotograf 20% shorter.
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3 R& p/ Y" V8 g4 Z# H, e' }9 WIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to6 G% Z2 X2 E+ g! g5 X4 l7 {
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always) c+ U! D5 M2 a+ _
ben a deterent to akurate speling.
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, l; p7 ?% b9 H/ P9 m9 ]7 [Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
5 m2 M# J8 w! G! e1 e% }4 f! n5 bdisgrasful and it should go away./ N. M: Q3 R, ~
1 w1 j8 Y( }* o) z- dBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
9 Z) ], Y) y* F& M! M8 U- C"z" and "w" with "v".' I5 o9 E% R4 {6 z* b% S
& N( r3 P0 o, |% r! |1 FDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
! E) ~( u4 q# M5 I0 m6 }2 `( ]after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.9 [+ x" ~9 i$ `# F% z _# U
) g2 Q1 M# J8 y# SZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
% l; K! F) m- u+ E" iunderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.( Q5 [4 l4 j0 Q2 ]$ h
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
' \8 r' {7 I# m/ W/ r# B6 Xforst plas.
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. e% L6 e6 _$ v, u6 A3 M; `If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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