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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will' L( @2 z9 P+ y% [3 z
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was$ Z2 h6 |0 d4 F+ S5 T
the other possibility.# S: x8 Z% w1 ]+ b# @
% {& r2 ^3 M8 W, t; Q9 q4 m' q" F+ k6 }As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English: N/ E7 W$ ?; P+ T$ W0 N# N, H$ ^
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
8 O6 S7 u0 D# S: b! rplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
8 |9 I# [9 u8 T( Q( \the sivil servants jump with joy.; \7 Z' j+ b% |+ M9 {. V! C
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up8 E2 L3 ?" J7 c0 j
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.; P9 e q4 @8 J0 g
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9 u2 U+ v% t7 U* Y. ^- hThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the7 Y$ ?; i: g# T3 O# q% Z
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like" s- v/ s# `: y$ a
fotograf 20% shorter.
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
, l3 Z8 ~/ g; O: b- |$ Freach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.& u' p8 F v- ]+ |5 O) `
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always& j* j9 `/ P8 B2 @
ben a deterent to akurate speling.' N7 v- p0 \/ m9 Q9 o
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is7 r, n. Z2 n% c# s6 v, c/ n
disgrasful and it should go away.# F, x n/ _2 p- g7 L% y# p$ l0 R
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
$ G; G# `' ~ V: E+ X$ ]"z" and "w" with "v".' B5 {" ]* h: f0 O9 D
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and+ c' {% k% w# c3 H
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.9 R# o) x2 L* O- E5 @+ r
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
4 a/ ~! ], M+ \0 ounderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.! s( A# @" K8 T# S" Z j
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze1 w1 [6 F/ O% Z* W2 L: A# _; P- |8 H
forst plas.
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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