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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will/ j5 B( y& Y) R% h) S: N/ S5 a
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
, ~1 |3 Y) k1 ]. w# U7 \the other possibility.* t- O) u- L4 I$ w% [0 s
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
3 F) i5 E- D' g( I4 ispelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in- N* F/ b0 f3 ~
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".* G+ v/ u8 _; _" X+ F
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make i- v6 ^; o% c `
the sivil servants jump with joy.
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& Y5 a* r$ l. ?The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up& I) c4 b* S- Q, s8 X* s/ H
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the( Z) D" t8 N5 g6 d; I* f) k
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like0 p" T: j* |4 P: ]3 b2 n
fotograf 20% shorter.% T' Y' }0 h5 e5 E. }7 _5 Q
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to% u% ?' s1 N b2 q& W8 y( R
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
% J' ~# m# ?& m1 ?ben a deterent to akurate speling.
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is+ z. h& t' U: w9 J/ ]/ o3 O
disgrasful and it should go away.
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with4 h, z) S# Q1 Q- Z8 X5 f7 p3 T
"z" and "w" with "v".
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7 T) I6 R+ V2 H: ODuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
, o: n4 W' _/ O# G* Q4 P# l1 Fafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.4 C( B5 ]( @2 N* Z
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
0 c3 [4 p1 ~: O4 qunderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
! f3 l6 J4 N9 G' p7 @Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
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0 U k; O! j4 u! G/ rIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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