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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
( |1 k O1 G- Q4 a# _be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was0 ~4 o" z7 u- ?2 p$ `/ z4 o
the other possibility.
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
+ l8 h& `) R5 n" m5 x+ ` espelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
, O5 L5 B2 f, oplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
( |: w+ a: e/ \) `the sivil servants jump with joy.
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
, _$ L' p. Q' F- w$ I& Y9 m; ikonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.9 v) M9 U+ d0 A" A
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the1 Q3 H8 g' _! R6 X$ H( X
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like2 V# ~: t* _4 a6 @$ V
fotograf 20% shorter. F- N! @. z j6 V# K
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to5 u7 ?3 p0 D$ g, [9 \& k+ c8 I5 M
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always6 T; m8 H8 b& C+ P* S
ben a deterent to akurate speling.6 _$ L8 p8 l/ U" t
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is& l/ D# |, D' e$ A1 w5 [% F
disgrasful and it should go away.
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( Q) i3 w# {. b) E* ]/ u: jBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and3 H5 \# m& _/ Z
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
) _; R( f- Z5 m1 X8 G* ]; Lunderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.2 {# s) ]. n1 P- g0 c8 i
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
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! ?; P( t, ^8 q; p8 RIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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