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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will9 B" _0 e/ }5 Q p" O. }# I5 Y
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was/ e' v @5 R% \$ [: D1 e( _
the other possibility.; U+ O! i- }7 ^
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English* ?, N+ r" M s% v% }: f* f, A
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
: g1 Y+ z; W! j" ?plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".8 T# a s1 c7 k" {4 ?8 `& W& K; y
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
6 A( Q0 G6 x4 I6 P8 Fthe sivil servants jump with joy.& [) p1 ~4 }& B# x# t; n
% l1 P7 }2 z# W/ f- Z, {% s" s( qThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
/ K8 D9 e3 O( d! k& ]konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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* [' L3 M) c; B- f, `# c- P& vThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the* C/ c' Q1 M# ^$ o: x3 P$ M
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like2 p/ Q# m5 M% W" r# v8 v
fotograf 20% shorter.
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; Q N8 C' P) s/ A* J$ iIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to$ h' y& {; w# p5 ^. M3 F! c7 q6 n
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
) w/ e8 L' X. K0 l7 Hben a deterent to akurate speling.. j, }. A6 l0 k1 u8 C3 I) f
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
, ]6 ^: M; d4 _! ]% sdisgrasful and it should go away.: A' C4 g! R, i! P$ ^: t7 C( g o
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with) `7 u- S- z+ Z9 l+ a5 }% L5 J
"z" and "w" with "v".
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# |7 h9 G! `0 T$ [' `+ t( hDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
: E, H( Q, r# V% M+ j8 `5 c* safter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.- t0 ~6 K8 a% P3 G# A! K
4 d/ V! W# _5 @& |1 u; ~: P- IZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
* f" A7 [) C; }& |understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.0 A- x$ f. O* N h' u
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
$ v! y. Y9 e% Jforst plas.
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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