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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
/ u5 o6 y M5 _7 ~9 D2 p. h7 ^% pbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was' n8 |8 x, L# N7 I' ?& ^; F6 Y
the other possibility.
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
1 s0 e2 _3 c. K+ G$ x2 G9 h3 yspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
1 g. S% m0 ]1 H4 pplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".1 n1 p, Z9 p& c& G8 r/ U) Q
1 o( k+ m7 y* FIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make& R5 F7 P. y* Z$ i5 N# q3 q/ C
the sivil servants jump with joy.2 l) n. D% g; o- |6 b
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
* H6 J: C3 J9 g8 | _konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the; i! M6 j# z* h8 P$ z2 O! j3 A
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like9 u( {$ M( _: t* a0 y
fotograf 20% shorter.
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) l* a" V i. w5 s) [8 ?In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to5 r {% V& V) \ y# D
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.3 j+ \" e+ M- e9 @5 l
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
: Q) t! b; R8 Z% z+ [7 z# V3 Y% M" Sben a deterent to akurate speling.
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
8 O. Q! n7 x, Wdisgrasful and it should go away.. d/ r" A6 D: i1 h% M
7 z- ] `& ^. Z4 T6 _/ @% \By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with- N0 K+ q+ \3 @) R/ \8 Z" U
"z" and "w" with "v".+ V: C( H) `& Y* W' ~
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
x) d S& z; t, K( d" ~after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu( a7 j" ~% |) m
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
; ~5 h |+ C0 i4 ^) |Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
6 m2 ~1 B2 P; l6 b1 yforst plas.
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% Z: ~$ @6 I5 g" F8 L# H+ J! u# gIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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