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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
$ `/ t2 H1 R2 w/ |7 \7 qbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
5 S3 C* \! r" `" o& }the other possibility.
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. B+ c$ a7 t4 T k9 Z1 x; qAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English# f" _1 t4 g, S5 R! {. Y) k
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
) k/ U, E; U, R" {0 g: Oplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".2 J& O& ^: k+ r
4 o0 B' s! N. l8 |! z% XIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make2 Z) y/ \( Y% I* b9 K& d/ x4 i6 K) p
the sivil servants jump with joy.
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up' v7 w% n: A) I' M1 K
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the/ U9 J/ v9 m# S8 m# h: n- A0 s" c
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like4 X: B, y' X b+ h6 D7 f" c+ |
fotograf 20% shorter.5 c: u$ Q1 Y3 H7 x* d9 B3 d
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
! q/ l9 e1 j! V/ jreach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.- R7 e. T: v% s0 f# W) h( ]
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always) ?- s; d5 o4 X9 j; m- ^
ben a deterent to akurate speling.
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
( V0 d0 V3 K* c. }& Y. Zdisgrasful and it should go away.
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& V' r$ q: J0 |! d$ E4 A1 `/ ZBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
0 s7 A4 S* Q% ^1 u+ Q"z" and "w" with "v".( [$ `9 ^8 Z0 O4 v0 ?$ `
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
7 `( V" q9 [3 m1 \& S# ~. oafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl." S" ]4 V9 t+ C1 I R
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
, M# A: s/ z5 U3 ^6 b( B; Junderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.1 n9 ^0 E- b5 A. p/ o: ]( A
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze6 ?& U8 V! E6 F ~; N+ D
forst plas. n) {* U3 }' M4 a0 R. O
, g; R8 E1 c0 Z2 n+ CIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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