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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will, L) W( o' z) W
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
$ N! C( Y2 W- u/ `the other possibility.
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' ~- d4 n( ?! A3 n( L W8 A# u* ZAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
2 g' ]) i. r8 \% K7 _- g% bspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in6 B/ J% I: B4 r) q: b) l5 L
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
2 h8 S/ `% F: g3 T& r/ ], Qthe sivil servants jump with joy.) F$ z( l( m0 e% j2 B
' ^! s/ v6 J6 fThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up* n. P a* ]8 O; f
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
9 ~' W3 f0 D4 a; R; A6 F* G- rtroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
6 k+ _6 O- ?* x- }+ h4 Mfotograf 20% shorter.
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
9 I0 L) y1 y0 {0 Wreach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible." C- t5 b6 l1 d) h; m! B
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
, |" x8 t0 G+ A7 Gben a deterent to akurate speling.
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
; ]$ B- h' U3 adisgrasful and it should go away.% H& W. a0 q2 ?* @ a+ L
# O- E5 t9 P- P7 N" O, @By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
; T% @5 }5 n5 I ~* r* G/ {"z" and "w" with "v".' t2 K/ a4 j* u4 i2 Q' V
1 j2 \6 N6 t+ d! }+ q- IDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and4 S# J& E, T9 }7 W
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu( p# r" [* e$ ~* N- ?9 N
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.& Z- u) G% |" e+ H3 T' {
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
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4 E" S5 a2 \$ Y5 w* ^If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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