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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
3 U, k. m( u3 `" `be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
/ }' b& X% ^ r' i6 ^the other possibility.$ c, ]6 D1 L# T/ L( {. I4 D
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
' ^ y3 R* X3 }, v8 G/ W- Sspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
2 T5 m3 l) ]7 nplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".' [, g. e* q$ S' G
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
' X( j1 A$ I: D Rthe sivil servants jump with joy.# j' Y- \4 n9 I# l R! N' O6 \
; F o5 I6 ?- d1 I$ E9 @0 UThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up6 F6 y$ @4 Z* {
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the0 ?7 i/ w( L$ i8 F0 @4 g
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
, ]( {9 P/ U( ^! W( k% ?- Mfotograf 20% shorter.$ p0 P4 A/ T; Z; W2 T3 K0 K
; d& f w2 Y5 Z3 I- ~5 N/ e. r; u4 cIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
- F- R6 B+ J9 }* a" a" a- J0 v9 D% Yreach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.2 k' o8 g3 @ A4 X
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always( ~8 e: T/ Y* c5 Q1 R
ben a deterent to akurate speling.
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8 m9 t0 i( `# T: ?! C- X; o3 ^+ lAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
' t6 k( M$ X- D& d0 |disgrasful and it should go away.
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' l& \- u/ Z3 T3 S; ]7 wBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with5 r% e0 @- t2 C6 U
"z" and "w" with "v".7 g5 `, K3 t6 M4 Y+ F2 ]
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
, C% x, n1 Z$ p6 {after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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: f! e. i. k; W1 v) b; ^; }' xZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
h E7 v6 { w( M) z- i, Junderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.; V: J/ s6 g' h6 i2 A4 N+ W4 d
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
1 q" k+ j7 @: `: p# f$ h, Y2 Jforst plas.7 M. _$ h8 h2 D! |1 D
! Y, t4 Y+ p0 P" R) y( tIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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