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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
- X; Z3 v# J) A0 A) p* _4 qbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was2 L& A# W1 T5 O' ~' g) ^3 R: {
the other possibility.# g0 ]3 e. Y& v' b; z: Y, r! |
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English2 L, Y7 r8 Z3 A1 h4 o5 R
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in7 o) y0 L* Z3 R$ Z s
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
$ E# _* F# K( T0 Gthe sivil servants jump with joy.
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
1 P! R2 L! y" ikonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.- r0 r7 |; K) P: t0 X3 N
& k0 L ~3 Q$ v+ e- n& k4 l+ u4 R2 M4 r! S* q m! k# k: y" V
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the! u7 l1 W+ e0 t0 H! {& C. y3 h) O
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
; z; i/ C P3 kfotograf 20% shorter.0 t( x9 x# l$ d5 L
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to7 Q S: _) Y8 p' C' ~
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.7 w8 P9 e, }: n% ?
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always" \6 [ `5 t, j/ `' Z% [
ben a deterent to akurate speling.
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
. c0 N, y! |# Vdisgrasful and it should go away.
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
+ v3 o- x7 B0 u1 E9 v3 S. x5 {1 g0 o"z" and "w" with "v".
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
3 ~; p3 W7 t5 Z/ P$ I# kafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl." n6 o; l. ?; z' i; p
3 x; w! h7 m* S4 f/ G2 X) N4 HZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu% X" R* a8 M, R
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru., Z+ a/ p% R2 ]1 {+ ]
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
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9 d" j7 r0 ~, ?8 VIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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