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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
( o A& v8 @$ Z* O9 ^/ ^. O9 b+ c) Mbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
$ {% X& w b5 V8 ithe other possibility.5 A0 z5 _5 R+ X2 ~- D7 k9 Y
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
+ ?& a7 o0 J; U! l8 \& e, Jspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in: Z1 P3 a# n. b, H7 @! c7 N
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".$ Z. C! N" J+ X. j; r& B
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make; X- U1 }: e) g
the sivil servants jump with joy.! c; O: P$ d$ v
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up7 \+ r/ {5 L1 f1 M+ E) }
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.5 s7 c' V$ H2 @4 N: p0 g
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" k/ f# D4 C" T& I4 X# KThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
9 y( J/ a$ R& H4 I" atroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like, b% u$ @4 x& m) k( j; A2 B! g
fotograf 20% shorter.
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
8 t" z: Z/ h7 S! k2 ]reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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( i8 G) X6 d6 G6 RGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always5 R- W3 v* ^& O
ben a deterent to akurate speling.: D) {6 ~9 c+ ?, y0 I
2 ~9 d( N- s7 ]$ V+ {3 R+ a4 @- p7 YAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
8 p, l! W) [8 M, }, X' T% Mdisgrasful and it should go away.
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
/ d7 G, Y4 Z/ M0 C, {"z" and "w" with "v". J. O2 k1 w: X; w& D
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and( H& I2 q# ?$ L& \
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.0 M' C0 z. b: o- ^9 ^' F
, U8 P8 N7 o e/ ~' Q9 }Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu9 }& R# ~! o% z, Q5 E- @. T& `, d
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.$ S7 Y! }# L7 H1 f, R+ w
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
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# Z* m4 q$ Q9 q; kIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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