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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will0 X; z- X, u: k7 f2 q
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was9 k+ o0 ^, I! X5 S! A
the other possibility.; Y4 O2 G) a# H, L/ }
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
2 X2 E( D4 `, b3 h& A* Tspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
6 ]% ^' e3 M V8 Z8 vplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".% r" m+ G8 @8 }) c6 B" `6 R
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make# w' K* a3 Q) |) H
the sivil servants jump with joy.; \9 f) w- I3 G: G" x# z
& R% f: `# W3 G7 |+ pThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
( I5 x) y+ J e+ D5 {1 Qkonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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1 V1 ?0 x+ S3 Z2 \: M# tThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the, b. w9 ]' g$ S6 X9 S, H7 `4 R
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like( ^8 J# |7 v$ T+ X) h- `4 x! m
fotograf 20% shorter.4 `# M9 b' c" i+ e- I
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to4 E O+ _8 B% K0 k$ t( L
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.; M% j% m' {5 l; L! N
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always2 v' [. x( c. [7 U! J
ben a deterent to akurate speling.& v: m0 X" F9 ^3 X& }: `
* T6 t/ d+ x/ g; C% A) ?Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
% k1 g( V- ^$ ^% c7 Rdisgrasful and it should go away.
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" k/ b' s( H6 s1 J" f$ w# y' CBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
3 j% _. ?! ]' S) k1 Y% k"z" and "w" with "v".& e7 R) Z; ?; V* B6 y: `5 _
- Y; B& ^9 n, @+ ^# w) z$ IDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
, r b+ s3 J( H* |2 V& e; W dafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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* V* e6 |5 c( }Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
% A4 K5 I7 R8 y# y: {understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.2 {6 y! Q2 m( H/ @9 Q+ M+ K
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze+ n/ j* O+ V* G
forst plas.
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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