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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will, A# T+ a1 J5 F9 _( f% L. F5 ]
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
- J& X) @. N* f# ?* n! Ithe other possibility.% J7 O9 k2 j9 P. Z$ C# Z
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English3 S% r3 K# X% V m* M
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in6 ^" [7 m9 O6 J' ~8 n& }: A' G
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make5 G' v; p$ y# M4 I, b
the sivil servants jump with joy.# t: b+ f, z9 W: r; i
( x4 E2 t! U4 nThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
7 n4 Z* j/ X) p$ W. ` J5 _$ ]0 hkonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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$ h- J- F& D+ l3 H! QThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the. u+ d0 X: D4 @ ~* b# |
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
# @- }* m2 N1 \: ufotograf 20% shorter.
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
! i' `# ~3 A+ areach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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k6 m5 C- J6 g G# T' k! vGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
+ i* U3 p' H8 Fben a deterent to akurate speling.
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% \2 _5 I* g6 _) ]; NAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
% u& H( L: U2 |5 g$ T2 Ldisgrasful and it should go away.% N: e5 c; X) d6 A; K
8 X) ^, _8 v7 r" F0 E) \By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with# i# [7 k% Z. a0 U- ]
"z" and "w" with "v".
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! r3 d" B+ H2 j2 ZDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
# `" p/ S9 c, ?# |: E0 Vafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.1 O G& j9 U2 U& p$ J/ {
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu j4 T/ t+ c ?( B7 F6 g) G9 V
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
1 Y- T/ C% K8 i1 cUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
" S$ n/ p, w: b# J) C9 e: @9 t0 U& }forst plas.
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. d9 r2 o) u4 v8 Y% `3 QIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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