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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will/ O: u! t1 p% ~4 F- Y
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was* l6 Z8 C; P$ w: v( h
the other possibility.
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
$ Q6 t! i: h+ E, P3 L1 |8 ispelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in" u9 ~1 T: x# |7 }5 @& I, v
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".9 q/ R$ h- @4 K
) j; T2 u; w( V2 CIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make3 s V- l% t/ z
the sivil servants jump with joy.* U8 q1 ]! `9 Y% ~2 _" ~
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up/ Q& K, i9 j2 `4 W& E1 W
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the5 E# u8 [/ F# U0 g. L2 F6 P/ s
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like* j9 p- E8 c) B5 y6 F# E
fotograf 20% shorter.* K/ o) |! n$ a2 X7 g
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to( P3 D0 k5 e2 e' W6 I4 z
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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* b0 N1 D8 v# x; ~Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
' c6 I3 C& X5 n/ b n% S: Aben a deterent to akurate speling.
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is) S ~- o) Z Y; @+ \! e; X
disgrasful and it should go away.
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with- N3 v6 h& p+ Y
"z" and "w" with "v".
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
3 O& {- r3 W8 }) v, t" [) rafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu" a" |# R' A8 |/ `
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.6 [/ @" ^6 g9 ]9 B
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
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% g, W8 ]& J, D, x6 o; L8 TIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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