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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will5 n% K7 n. }1 x; e
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was4 S* |' |9 H0 w A, v0 X, f# j
the other possibility.4 O9 _5 J$ b: G' ~+ a
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English1 o* `- k! Q# K- v6 K
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in6 ]/ k7 |. @5 n g% T
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
, P% B$ r- i) Y' F- Ethe sivil servants jump with joy.
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& I2 f4 i9 I& e$ ^4 QThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
3 Y; j; [1 m0 `1 ~8 O' Ekonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.$ ~( v. E- \" Q# v
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
3 q" ^& N- U8 s3 _troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
6 ?4 l5 E2 o( i' bfotograf 20% shorter.
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
6 L; s0 K9 Y6 S' Areach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
b; D+ t; `' q0 V1 G8 Tben a deterent to akurate speling.0 M: v! H5 A( i9 [6 Y0 p
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
- z; V/ s& R" kdisgrasful and it should go away.0 t: j2 ~! o" D9 B {4 d/ B
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with' ^9 v" w' j0 f5 p4 h
"z" and "w" with "v".
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* m# S# g4 B& a/ R8 N: p8 {! c0 S" JDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and/ Z. E' q* P9 f/ l# Z. d
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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9 d; E6 X! Q' i2 ?: J7 T( GZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
8 O3 M# {4 A+ b* T/ d1 \understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.$ `8 B( `+ E7 `& h& g4 k& x& Q" w) n
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
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2 R+ [* i0 |% |7 G) n( tIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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