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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
( |1 n) G; U ]7 T, kbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was9 s9 o; \# I; P/ _: `: f
the other possibility.
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# ^; e, t* @7 G% I1 I9 J2 j, cAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English7 O! A ]: D* O5 m' c. J
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
, s1 l7 ~( s$ ~3 ~, ~plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make# {/ _" I. O, v% e$ l
the sivil servants jump with joy.9 L K! |; G9 |& W) E
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up1 ]6 G1 m# f# i! f. r+ D) C( v; i
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.( ~1 t. `3 q9 D1 N
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' I0 ? |6 L3 K4 i/ f; fThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
1 d) B" s9 N+ i0 t! ` f- W$ q& \troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
! n; Z3 q W" m0 p8 E efotograf 20% shorter.
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$ C; H" L7 m/ ]3 U. g+ c, DIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
9 G2 T* h/ K( ~# _0 `* f( ireach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.2 `" k& Q0 u( ~4 [9 l& f3 M! J
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always" W0 G* W3 C6 D
ben a deterent to akurate speling.
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is U) T0 I- o' J7 L6 }8 j; o4 {
disgrasful and it should go away.
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: c1 {$ `( e, v4 jBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
g8 P) e0 [! p+ k# F"z" and "w" with "v".
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
2 t7 P$ u: a3 W1 y. J$ E; ]# \after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.& H8 f) s+ L1 h: V
1 ?* K: b# l9 B! \Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
$ [9 F$ Q. \" `8 W* aunderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.) X2 y3 c+ R9 A& |
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze+ _) h5 S5 S& R7 r
forst plas.# J% f @3 j( S; a' f! q
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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