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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will" L6 ] C, i" _; V: }# D, s. l/ o
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was3 I, F& _$ l! ^0 G, e4 I
the other possibility.
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
! }# x& D0 v+ B( A+ zspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
" ]( t5 c1 Z( x5 s1 rplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".$ @3 A+ d# Z! x2 J0 o
+ ], z. E* @* d. jIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make5 z) l* U3 R! i/ `$ ?6 k4 B
the sivil servants jump with joy.( Z* w$ ?6 x4 s* G8 Y4 D
$ [: |$ H8 p/ P0 v- OThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
5 _+ ] _# Z4 {9 a! Ckonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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: c2 D7 q% h+ ?' A! \0 r$ o3 IThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
3 ]8 t Q' G2 ^- Ztroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
9 A; S* G7 Z; X. K. wfotograf 20% shorter.9 G; g" n% n, o0 j4 i
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
3 T: M& W% J) ]1 ~- X, [6 ?0 t0 V0 @; \reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always; H. w2 m- z; F: \! I
ben a deterent to akurate speling.
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is9 f" L$ S" K j1 m. f; v
disgrasful and it should go away.: j2 ~. J/ w% h g* u1 w0 `
: r/ u, Z, Q |By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with; W: E C. ~( M8 n* Q" p
"z" and "w" with "v".) a$ R2 M, J1 a5 p2 X# S* X# r/ a
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and9 U U0 o! D6 g8 K" B
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu! B; l& D+ O. m( ^$ H
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.& c/ {4 j, x/ l" D) Y$ P3 D! t
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze! P7 p1 b E/ s5 f7 E
forst plas.9 }/ | Z9 T R9 U1 p
0 y. B, s1 k, zIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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