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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
9 T) L8 F$ j5 U& Q/ v5 B- n8 sbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
/ ?: `( Y+ J4 o. v& P hthe other possibility.
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English: ~- D: w$ I. k* A6 n/ Z, Y9 U7 w$ }
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in, B N, p) b1 a0 G ^
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".- B+ z; K0 a. F+ F- P9 Z- s- x8 \
" x, ]7 r6 A3 r/ B* S7 |In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make' @6 W. _! Z: D8 G
the sivil servants jump with joy.
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1 S" F9 |1 n8 c8 s- l$ ~- IThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up7 g" H5 `. P- Q
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.' H4 G! w/ |) Z! Z8 T
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the. y2 R5 S# e2 K6 R# a. ~( P$ T
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like u y) T3 u- b
fotograf 20% shorter.- q4 M; e( g( L1 b9 P
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
' f- s' d, R! Vreach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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2 m1 W! Z, A* S8 wGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
8 J4 n, t- S3 |ben a deterent to akurate speling.0 M+ x% c w6 Q/ A W- b
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is( e% H) b; G* P" [4 i% [- {
disgrasful and it should go away.
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
$ ~7 P; Y* p! d& G( o: n; y"z" and "w" with "v".
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; _& C' _% S0 C l% Y! gDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and6 g6 i' k5 s i+ O
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.9 X/ E5 A$ r b* E8 `
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu# j# L& Z) A# L2 a; p
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.9 {/ T4 ]. X% A
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
3 j" O/ e0 C# N! K2 }forst plas.
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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