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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
. b* Y: x! |/ Z: W# [+ u: B0 K# obe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
6 U5 v/ h' Q0 J5 O' J* D5 G9 ~the other possibility.
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% u2 u9 w# {- `5 N! u" H9 U @1 z# AAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English8 r3 u% O: @ _: `# a, w
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
" y; y6 ^/ S, [4 t& zplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".2 m$ d2 o. D: a
: c7 x; u/ F0 E( k. ~ r9 e5 a9 qIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make. I! r; J! ^0 k% B4 b
the sivil servants jump with joy.
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
2 J0 Z8 I& h, d c1 ?0 p! M. n/ F6 nkonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. L# J& X) _ e6 ^* W5 C
6 o" K# K# R# g; m$ `$ @; l- U; V
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the8 U+ G3 ?- A3 u8 r1 {3 t6 n, G# l
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like: c1 f1 A4 E+ B$ i1 v) T
fotograf 20% shorter.
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to& R# x! s, w+ O& j9 A
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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; N, {; n7 h. v+ g! @) V& TGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
5 i$ }7 g* @/ C( q! v9 Gben a deterent to akurate speling.
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is9 c$ r2 s6 ~' N! c4 b+ C7 |
disgrasful and it should go away." p, d9 v+ w. y9 Y) J
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with$ g" J4 `" R8 J3 S6 P Y6 [# h
"z" and "w" with "v".
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2 v2 a7 R% N) ~% _8 M2 c7 L2 V9 a( QDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
( n( p1 Q( K$ Q; k: ?- g* Kafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
& q) F' V3 H6 U' l7 W( A& Qunderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.2 s1 R2 ]7 d6 b, O3 Q8 i7 x& f
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze' n7 i' t( V W9 N6 p$ e0 e0 F
forst plas. t4 H& H- i3 c( T% p: A
* f+ S+ z2 d( D, [* {! l# z6 {% vIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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