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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will/ g3 f0 L+ ^) w4 @# u# w
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was; p( E% s( Z" R+ j P, I3 c
the other possibility.- _! U/ \. ]8 R- d3 r& }3 q
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English9 B; N! v' W5 |. H0 R3 ]; K8 e
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
7 S9 l6 ^5 A) S4 ?' S9 `plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".3 b# ?9 P9 b8 z, e# l8 Z
7 d) L' N* H% jIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make) d( B+ b( Y* a3 {0 b
the sivil servants jump with joy.
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$ `# V, `8 p, p; a3 ]8 f- I" WThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up% @( b2 T( `* j' k% J2 k. e
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.9 S( E; v; j- Q' p6 t1 W7 T% M
# p" N9 o. h/ ]9 b& _# y1 z: }* J' a9 y; f
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the5 E5 s/ t+ ]0 D6 j& K
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
; W+ g, T7 C4 L" e. zfotograf 20% shorter.6 l- c' q. Z9 f0 N8 u
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
9 `7 F& e( _, W2 Wreach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.1 U, `0 A9 }2 I+ A
, W% N( F9 v& QGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
! z2 i8 [, e1 }* T9 b! \ a; Pben a deterent to akurate speling.
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3 {! W- Q+ J W; R: U' ]Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is" r! S2 } Y/ }4 D
disgrasful and it should go away.6 N) |$ O' b* M$ V+ i6 G
, T: w8 V) y! U: L. w5 n* e9 EBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with7 ]7 E( a. a9 P
"z" and "w" with "v".
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6 S% w9 J% |9 L! {During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
U {7 V/ m' p( E3 g) z# u* B; m5 oafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl." w$ D b, U& P- E4 I9 W8 e
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
" l, W2 ]5 f* ~1 b2 v7 g, xunderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
9 Z; Q3 k; B- X. CUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze7 q% s9 N4 k, t4 v
forst plas.
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5 B) G1 b9 G6 W3 SIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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