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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will& u* Q# t5 p$ G! m
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
0 h* U+ e1 |% I/ N2 kthe other possibility.. O; K0 I* K1 H8 |: f! s3 X
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
+ S: B4 h7 [/ fspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in& w Y% D( O. J
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".+ E6 }% Z$ w9 k1 r& f
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make% K$ o7 a; p. w6 |
the sivil servants jump with joy.
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
, E; [4 Q; w: x8 d( n( O$ ^2 Ykonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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2 x- \6 L- H/ R- B @6 qThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the% y7 T& T( x# s5 D
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like5 i7 t! ]+ X+ w4 |6 e
fotograf 20% shorter.: i& m/ x. Q$ U- S* [' n
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to% a: C' B/ f( Y
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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% G& m6 s: A* V- K6 j& O5 G" i" CGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always: r/ b5 l3 L6 a2 ^# J/ }1 t) j
ben a deterent to akurate speling.
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& G1 [' ?% S d( \6 z- RAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
* q0 p- S% A6 E+ Mdisgrasful and it should go away.- G4 Z9 {1 `) a5 V1 W( z
/ m! g3 {& J9 U, M& PBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with! s/ B2 b/ k% J' e: N/ K& ^
"z" and "w" with "v".% k+ Y8 \0 k9 n6 v& p4 D7 ~9 K
B( A8 o' M; K8 M7 _8 T1 qDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
# i) q/ f& w8 ?! i, l8 f3 y8 H. c) T# Jafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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. J' [1 k5 e& O9 i* eZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
6 n$ ], }; T* Q0 k1 c. J, runderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
) i0 N4 R( h' M7 SUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
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) P$ @1 d# P" p& y5 L3 s5 j DIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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