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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will8 o7 N! r6 D }% {/ @
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was4 O5 I2 a" N ?! i+ c6 F9 g+ u
the other possibility.5 r% ^! f( k" \1 ?5 P4 c, d
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
, e& u' b( o# } qspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
0 W$ u' \% U9 j9 H2 `' Vplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish"." ?6 ]5 D7 A( b8 x: y
9 [9 z; |0 Z' wIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make5 q& z! t: ^+ a5 v+ ?% |: p7 o
the sivil servants jump with joy.
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up3 n! m" {$ v# J/ u
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.0 R7 q" v$ u2 e _2 |* f0 e8 Q* A1 F
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, ?: m. V* Y) W# {1 M6 X2 Z9 RThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
/ A# D$ |% \. `# s; Ktroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like' B. Q- @* z% E. N4 M+ A J* M7 \
fotograf 20% shorter.
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to3 E$ W* ~9 R0 o1 u0 x/ f3 w9 R
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.2 P* @% x2 K# S5 \3 w+ o. i# m
% e0 l, [8 b& e4 @Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always7 G b7 A- {0 [- e9 c
ben a deterent to akurate speling." T6 m$ k5 v/ t$ S, _ h6 x
$ c9 V8 g. |6 }/ b: iAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is! Z9 D8 |) m7 j
disgrasful and it should go away.
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$ s O7 `, g# H% {0 V1 z% cBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
" a3 h2 M6 T- u"z" and "w" with "v".! ]! [+ t/ G1 X3 z) @8 a3 m
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and. l) b: o: U6 y5 Z3 C& t! G
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.: r( d* p3 _, Z( E
0 q8 u' Q: ?* I% g. SZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu. M8 T% q$ z& U# ~& J
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.1 N6 C5 _4 ~" o6 o$ Y
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze/ T) L6 G% _# i% T
forst plas.* ?. ]3 v8 k7 G& L0 `
3 r1 [( J! e. @- m5 y( U! x) s! bIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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