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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
: v9 ^2 ]3 Z3 }be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
- d4 q3 H: g+ W, Ythe other possibility.
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
6 ]# j2 G3 e9 F; e$ d2 V$ S2 _9 Xspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in- K( w1 j0 E% X `3 O
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
' y6 q/ q6 C6 c3 t: \% {: tthe sivil servants jump with joy.
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, o% c1 Y# X2 E; VThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up- N0 b2 l* z. j: r! T' h! b5 c8 S
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.6 K9 `+ U# J; T P. F# T
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2 d0 `) g/ P) l* uThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the! \ v1 P, I t9 v( n) e
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like0 t9 ^0 T! D8 q( d* d5 A
fotograf 20% shorter.
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, {5 V7 B! P1 R9 o, l7 a! u9 nIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to7 c3 P1 t4 y& g2 ?1 U P4 G* P5 M( i
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.' `' s" ?1 k4 ?% O2 m, h' j
) P9 ~$ a* g" z$ c* O# G& w* }: X! EGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
' o! a: c9 C* X$ @( k1 g9 mben a deterent to akurate speling.
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
0 \& S) h D7 N: h/ n- }disgrasful and it should go away.( ^7 {" D: O+ z8 @3 D) N; M
1 }: l! T; m- O5 u7 d7 jBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with F9 f0 e! O/ u" g& r6 D# S$ c, l6 F
"z" and "w" with "v".1 o8 U, u, N3 S4 S
" w. y6 _7 v$ \/ IDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
- w! o2 d& c$ qafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.; L* F- Z/ p/ a' p! l
3 z3 ]+ S- S4 p6 ]5 ], M' fZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu. E! p* R$ [. [: O) E$ p" P
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
8 v1 L ^( ^% l8 x0 J* xUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
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) L5 t$ a- q( N$ G6 j$ H# dIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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