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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will# i% {4 l) h+ F% S* C A7 v
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was# g3 }* N3 b7 @) l2 l
the other possibility.
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* u- ^. g* A* u* x7 T7 t- cAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English* w# ?7 l; ^1 G1 A c3 r* w" @6 o
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in" P) A- o) j$ p% y" H" R, h9 U
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
( k/ Q# N" [0 k) r, B. `, fthe sivil servants jump with joy.
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! C! I9 m% N9 [' W. ZThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up0 {- Y/ z$ Y, Z; Z' W& B
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. I; ], T( J; m3 `
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the' h6 f/ N3 @ e2 D, k: N
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
+ t( o) N4 E. Q+ X9 ]) efotograf 20% shorter. y i9 \" A, ]* m8 S
; {0 G/ x6 c& b" d- DIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
: Y @% Q2 o5 G" y: jreach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.( K6 F4 d/ j6 z* ^( Q- l. Y
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always0 N0 G" Y2 q; Z% l6 O
ben a deterent to akurate speling.
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
4 j$ B" t/ m @* c: Ydisgrasful and it should go away.
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with& ^3 q( }# _# u# b9 ^
"z" and "w" with "v".
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: Y* Y* r. y+ ]% {) VDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
& j6 [% f3 C: |/ mafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
9 I) Y5 p5 M0 m& I7 Aunderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
. b( w4 ]) I& y: v! X0 K3 GUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
3 T( R' h; R2 ^6 m! F+ gforst plas.
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- @, \* t! }" q# c* c" Y6 iIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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