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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will& E- d' D* a1 n" Q
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
7 _7 G- p9 l& ithe other possibility. o2 s$ P. s! D, P, q1 O
6 B9 }* y }$ h; ~6 v% ~. e7 kAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English) d7 ?; U5 P4 s3 j% x+ f& L$ ^
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in* l4 b5 O$ @2 I' E N' Q
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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8 @7 O0 Y% U* P- i3 jIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make" n5 t: L4 n8 U3 B# K Q. V, b/ ` P
the sivil servants jump with joy.
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/ N! g! R# C5 M7 E1 {. J( G2 sThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up1 p% b1 i( Q9 [/ ^) `# y9 a
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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/ L7 V# m* s$ W& Z/ I, AThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
2 f& U2 ]8 _3 R1 ]! e( T# Y& `( [troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like$ i, y, p8 Q% E
fotograf 20% shorter.0 |% N2 S; \& r7 o W" c
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to8 d" _" z- y5 Y5 Y4 h/ q
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.9 L. M8 x) j3 ^
) c, K6 B9 K- T/ ]( vGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always4 l2 N: j2 z2 a, [* U- r
ben a deterent to akurate speling.
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: a( [8 p% C) K2 ~5 \Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is/ K5 D4 y o: ^5 h! z
disgrasful and it should go away.
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/ I% \% ?: v: l, e: w, H) sBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
* u8 k8 B: G; V6 k! F9 x' k0 C3 P"z" and "w" with "v".
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
' }9 R0 Z& l* {7 J, @0 }after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
( `0 b$ y5 v1 X7 G5 x7 _understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
& Z; b0 m8 i5 q6 s: `Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze% w3 w' Y, T9 ]* U# w2 l q
forst plas.$ k$ [3 g1 F U8 c8 H. W
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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