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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
! J8 i# n; v- ?4 Rbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
- z0 w: a+ L2 o0 athe other possibility.) k" u0 Z1 ~ P; Y( a' }4 v# [
. } T6 B! @) G$ mAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English7 V/ d y' Z4 {, W) z6 L+ l! n
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in4 r8 w. K$ y; G2 d' ]/ x
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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; B" i+ l3 x2 l5 f- D+ |In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
6 U" v# }5 P6 l& ]' s7 hthe sivil servants jump with joy.* l6 C3 M. E$ }7 R0 T. R6 c
0 ^/ A4 u6 c# N7 G* z" PThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
; u2 ?7 n/ ~1 {- V: s+ Ykonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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( a4 V" b2 ]5 {2 P) E% tThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the* K# }. W. e- G9 Y
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like# X* y/ j, k8 |& F y9 I
fotograf 20% shorter.$ B6 @- p0 h! _: R8 I/ N, G: T
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
: r& S, G. [8 e1 Ureach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.! \/ t8 _# C4 k0 o: f9 o$ J$ d; ^+ m- L
$ G$ M5 ^+ i% L3 W6 _" u7 y6 tGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always6 @3 p4 n. p; f$ D/ u5 i3 _
ben a deterent to akurate speling.
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is% h2 f, D# m1 C' e/ y" P
disgrasful and it should go away.( u! c$ B+ e/ B0 g2 R- J
7 B, ?- `$ j$ r& [5 wBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with; t" h/ @; c$ m7 N& ~( Y/ U4 Y
"z" and "w" with "v".
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% b9 z" H' q6 @7 ]" z; GDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and; G# P' c! {. I! ~, ?! u+ ]
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.$ f* p: s5 M2 h# g. q
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
6 ?% P2 x4 q5 k$ W/ C+ X% ?understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.% r! D% E+ N) T# m) d; d- `- T7 ?4 \
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
( o5 s7 k3 g7 x* \) S) ?- z1 Fforst plas.7 Y; y0 m+ u, \" ?5 }
. C4 X: l- H# hIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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