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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will. T' v, |- x/ D6 k
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was1 v6 \) K, {/ N ? ]4 L7 Y
the other possibility.% j! M, P+ u! j2 G. _/ `, D/ J
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English* G3 H2 K6 I+ _* q
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
' {1 [+ p% `& Jplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make: V: g# W. h/ |2 l+ S1 S
the sivil servants jump with joy.
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up5 x/ ~+ J) R' H
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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k& q8 H g0 ^% f0 C- c$ k& {2 {, M% y$ n0 B( E5 l! a& W* ?
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
1 b1 E) {$ g7 T& y* atroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
2 X, d: O, W: ?5 S( b, I" o G0 F, Qfotograf 20% shorter. I, t$ q; |9 M5 \$ Z
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
7 M0 b, q- ^0 q0 z ereach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.1 P$ P8 }2 E* R; o
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
# I9 r+ M0 d2 B7 j, Y0 y0 aben a deterent to akurate speling.
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# Q/ V" Y ^$ E1 \2 ]$ i/ {8 JAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is1 Z& L3 ^- U( D! U9 Q( _& f2 b
disgrasful and it should go away.0 _5 Q) \( Z6 [
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with; [, a9 t7 J8 j% D8 Y5 T, @
"z" and "w" with "v"./ y( O; H& g% F
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
7 O% y% l- \8 O( V+ a. ~5 `3 Tafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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' s/ w+ L1 O: k+ n8 w+ dZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
2 E2 e+ Y0 H" H, ]understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
+ {0 `; ^- I. p7 Z5 U/ J" D) }Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze( P0 [( o; J! P( [
forst plas.$ e& N9 R$ e/ H1 N0 ]( C4 O
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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