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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
& p+ z1 U2 x7 l0 Y( B. Tbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was4 A- V" [* j% D6 o, L7 Y% v
the other possibility.4 C9 F6 z7 Q+ `; H+ \: t) \
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
0 W1 v! N, K% O$ rspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in) l" X7 V% S6 K
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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" k; i. `5 q( V! e+ y4 gIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
& u" [" T* t7 zthe sivil servants jump with joy./ N$ ` m0 X/ K
2 k! _7 Y$ @) T' mThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
; B& q; g1 ] c+ @8 s) Pkonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.* z6 J: h- D1 x2 L; z4 ]" E* i
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the1 n6 `& b! U1 Y' O1 \: m
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
, b6 S4 z+ k% W( B5 q1 ]& Sfotograf 20% shorter.* `) Q1 U1 N7 M# L1 W4 q I
. X3 A( V, h0 @& Q9 a# [7 wIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to2 F1 q8 V+ V5 a0 v
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.2 q. q Q [& U; ?% m5 V, p! G
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always, L8 b g% L+ Y& u) N
ben a deterent to akurate speling.0 G; p" l7 ]5 z8 z
) x" I3 k+ V% `, Q! B; R. X2 B) qAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
" n+ x; T1 ^) h' a6 w' n0 p( F. g$ xdisgrasful and it should go away.
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with; x+ Q) H: z( k) M
"z" and "w" with "v".5 k+ K8 D2 k" e
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
, w' V# J) V% T1 Uafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.- D: Q( V; j. t" `
' B4 r9 S! v$ I0 J/ ~, Z' w" G! }1 PZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu4 M; \& U r! n* e0 o) |6 a
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.5 w; F5 i) r5 |# f8 \! `
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
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4 W' r0 M1 w: e# TIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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