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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will; i3 `1 K, D3 w2 I% B9 R
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
: y p% `2 b3 B' d' Bthe other possibility.
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' h# F8 E. V' ^As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
+ z7 u: v+ y: C, H$ m ~spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in1 E3 h/ w2 A0 i$ o" V
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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0 V! D' y) C# Q7 D v) ]! H2 b: uIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make0 X0 z$ \$ ?! m7 ^+ l' V1 r$ Y$ v
the sivil servants jump with joy.) k$ G: y, {( h% Z" \2 C
& S% v$ ^# J& z, c( oThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up4 Y7 ~, k$ m7 [
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.9 k* g, w" _6 O. E# z
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the G# v7 M7 c8 A, h* Z7 H. R
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
: _% s; |$ {2 ]# jfotograf 20% shorter.
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to* f' ~- X5 s! R1 k( Z6 G
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.- c+ @0 t1 {) u
( [8 L& C9 z ZGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
$ |4 d6 ~: _$ W& z" [) tben a deterent to akurate speling.
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1 k" ^1 T4 w9 ?. }( TAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is* h# B1 t% I; t9 k* q
disgrasful and it should go away.
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with$ L0 q7 b. R) _8 L* x+ s
"z" and "w" with "v".
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and* J5 X* }' U. l$ i
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl. c7 D' H7 S4 E
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu/ \* w) V2 Q/ N+ a- V1 v
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.# K5 x9 Q4 d! o* m/ E- w1 Y( E- @
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
8 B/ n3 N+ {" X0 ^forst plas.
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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