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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will2 ]2 v, A1 s! v6 R
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was0 e" \. V/ [* G
the other possibility." D# K; d! y% {$ D3 p, N
5 z! O8 L. v: N, o6 lAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
" H9 {2 ^# a' u! s% S% B4 ~spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in1 ^+ F9 w e1 ?# o1 k0 r
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish"., \: b$ @/ Q7 O, }/ `4 k! @, t
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make/ y% X# b3 ~. G+ i w$ X
the sivil servants jump with joy.
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
7 R' p/ S0 n% K( K* S' m3 {2 ekonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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z9 q3 H( w$ G/ W2 i& l; n& k! z1 P( V$ x* _& d% X, ^+ W
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the; k# W) M" B3 y T. x2 ?- p" H0 j9 ^
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
2 }: f9 v+ N9 M7 Rfotograf 20% shorter.
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+ i5 ^ t4 s* ~In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
9 z7 l0 F5 ^ i: }4 f5 Lreach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always. u1 l1 A6 N9 v& v
ben a deterent to akurate speling.
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: J. Q2 n- I* B1 m$ TAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
! T9 e! T! ~/ G4 A9 y" r. wdisgrasful and it should go away.
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$ f( V \+ K3 D) ]% L ABy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with/ I/ Q0 ^5 D8 X; T$ M( U
"z" and "w" with "v".6 h8 f7 {6 L2 f# E( ?$ C% k" H
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and2 a9 }/ P" D5 k N
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.) a# d' r, n7 J. L3 C
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
* F4 f/ g' T) v0 Cunderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
1 n! s! ]' R0 P7 CUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze( C" G, v/ |# y6 j& y& a
forst plas.
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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