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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will3 U0 ~, g! f* g, o: I; |8 e
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
# l/ Y) z8 j, O6 z0 T+ c" t8 mthe other possibility.! R7 r/ r: N8 d
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English7 x7 z2 [3 _+ P9 }
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in3 w+ u8 N3 L' F7 y5 j* N0 x$ d
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".- F9 ?6 h+ u3 P; { }' n9 N
7 w6 H6 A) j, C6 _' tIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make# s, U; s n& o- u+ C% G
the sivil servants jump with joy.
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up8 Y$ f$ V- T/ s8 i# s2 k
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.. W8 R8 ~& i- S4 f" I1 y
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1 o! }/ E* M, b9 M. b! |There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the: s+ B0 s! |- H3 W) L0 x! M; E
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
* ^! h9 D2 t Kfotograf 20% shorter.
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3 h, f7 f' S# l7 b/ V# |+ }In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
* M# u2 o. O0 x0 e4 C+ [reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.( x5 b, J* y& Q
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
( B6 l3 R# ~" @7 Oben a deterent to akurate speling.0 z T4 W ?1 ^2 r; J5 L1 N- E
- n$ a q2 a; I9 CAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
9 h e; @( B gdisgrasful and it should go away.( p$ P2 r% L' @; W6 b3 S0 p
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
7 \. H$ o, {# t$ A+ T, p"z" and "w" with "v".
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and. t P4 v- M1 x' _& K
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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& t7 I( q, H; n8 k; K: [6 v# _Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
( u6 e5 Y" g* W5 H Munderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.5 h: V$ t: e7 }. A
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze! Y" A9 y0 J/ V9 c
forst plas.
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" r. _1 Z; d g3 QIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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