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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
: |! Z- s+ Y; U9 q s" Cbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
2 Q' s( y* l4 s- G( s# q8 z5 Hthe other possibility.
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
- j/ j) Y( z0 L- mspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
+ {0 ]0 Y k4 X5 p& Tplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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6 w- U- p$ T' i3 ~* s/ `, TIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make! l# m# I3 K" I: e! Y) W; a: s! B
the sivil servants jump with joy.+ n* ^2 J$ ?( ?2 }
6 B) [; k; B7 y- `* V- t. AThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up' `8 T" x) o0 `2 c9 [6 c
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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8 z, \" c+ U7 F1 @There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
; Y" i1 j( X |* Ktroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
) m1 o: i5 |: {: K- Hfotograf 20% shorter.; t& _0 [, P. s8 u8 A
9 Z" {. P& ~0 \! xIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to7 I5 d+ ~& _$ F, }- T6 R# L+ g9 \
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible., z D3 m4 g1 e6 r- F( k1 ?0 }
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
8 n+ A: H$ V1 N. J) r5 k6 Mben a deterent to akurate speling.
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
9 h) O( o1 X. ~5 fdisgrasful and it should go away.
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
* c- m" |* n8 C3 `1 F"z" and "w" with "v".
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and7 y& ]$ D) p4 Y+ L$ \( J/ x+ a
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.( ?" |; ?$ [; ^( x5 u, X
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
% x! r# j9 ^& u' h. vunderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
_# o8 M5 C/ ]7 o4 cUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
* R+ S0 _" p$ W6 q! M" dforst plas.
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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