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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
5 M# F1 }( j4 E3 |/ @" Nbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was. o; G5 }# D9 Y
the other possibility.; u3 r& d+ H/ Y" ^
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
5 y' |+ Y/ u# @1 J8 cspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
9 c, O# I& C$ [plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".' ~) `/ M' a$ B5 V9 x- I
% J5 }# O0 u& V: U% vIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
2 U. w7 a" k0 D/ B, Athe sivil servants jump with joy.
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
! g3 N% C' G1 [2 r% Ukonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
( S& d4 l! t' S& G7 itroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like" e3 k" }$ z$ ^
fotograf 20% shorter.2 w6 t w( I! x+ n, R6 F
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
1 U! B9 d* u' \! T. W6 d& l+ m( dreach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
# m, z4 a& \7 x1 J% \! Jben a deterent to akurate speling.) h# c e8 V, @ l2 ~+ l8 P- p
/ v) u) z8 ^/ U' [Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
5 _( X( \2 k, n1 x5 Tdisgrasful and it should go away.
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2 c: P( L- r: \7 t# S; kBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
0 b, V" J- l+ o; O# g"z" and "w" with "v".
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
; W \/ ?6 d* z* n, h/ jafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
& y! E: m! z9 v' T1 Gunderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
* O8 J! i" ]% A) ^+ ~Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
+ M7 F) A5 m; vforst plas.
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/ A: Q' a5 S9 t Q6 |0 w$ v' zIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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