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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
h1 v/ A) L4 bbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was; I0 L- ?; |- s
the other possibility.
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3 K/ |0 a5 U1 `* M# QAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English0 f9 y: k* i3 N
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
( \1 s R; f: `* ~2 C, Yplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
* j- E$ j4 l8 b6 H/ uthe sivil servants jump with joy.
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1 W0 j7 q( B6 m4 X& ]0 x, J# g3 rThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up0 C$ B3 x/ |7 d$ g, U$ |
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.( t" g: A) @& n0 G& v' @- H
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the( L. m! O2 q- L! G: i }: n
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
7 T- z5 c! o& hfotograf 20% shorter.1 @: O% _( d$ B, L7 t% T4 u
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
+ Y, h' Q/ M1 f0 Wreach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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; q3 O. r) c) ?* CGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
x, Y6 | q0 A: P% N! {( zben a deterent to akurate speling.
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$ c x% f+ k* L2 _% o2 M7 e3 R/ _Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
. w; J; s- J4 K6 pdisgrasful and it should go away.
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
( F( d# ?0 l9 i6 S# Y"z" and "w" with "v".
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6 e; p. w/ Q; a# WDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and6 P( q$ j! ~+ l
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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1 a8 f& @6 p) Z; ]) Z6 T- q* EZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
- P5 c; ?6 a6 runderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
' p8 d. c Q; `1 g# r: KUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze, w. G9 M) v3 e Z9 R
forst plas." b! s) _3 U, n9 C7 T/ w
: U, F# d+ K' w5 LIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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