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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will4 r/ T9 M9 b- ]+ W" K K+ A
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
/ U/ u h$ W" T! y3 A" s, sthe other possibility.
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. u4 B& E& U7 a. w2 r7 YAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English! a4 }# p- R% K
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in/ g. g% z- @$ N# {
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".) X! x. v2 b( k; q
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
" j# W6 m: S, K* ^the sivil servants jump with joy.
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i; b- C3 j+ |- u; fThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
+ I" ]. n, z- W8 ]9 Skonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
, D( ]! d. W; B. ^, M. q$ a7 ttroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
' R& m# G, {' U# |fotograf 20% shorter.& y/ M" r- E( z
# I3 Z- A6 _; F# e6 {# S: C
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to% f% J+ _$ C0 e( I- z* ~
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.( [" [4 A& j6 Q, U& J" n6 C
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
* H1 R9 P4 ?# xben a deterent to akurate speling.* b4 H/ f% i$ A/ G
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
$ A M. n! u5 ~6 N% W6 y( ]disgrasful and it should go away.5 u3 T$ K" |% s, D9 D
4 p* J6 V# N& C" @& h, cBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with( a' c2 F" h* @1 P) `
"z" and "w" with "v".
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8 T: L# M$ @ f# yDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
! ]/ n0 q5 {$ C: D1 I& p6 P8 k- j) A: T* dafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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% _+ ?! g2 Q( c m% oZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
5 O4 l) L6 C" |! t, gunderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.$ D; P s1 c4 |2 }5 L3 _$ x/ _
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze- |9 G1 \5 e7 `) X w+ v. K
forst plas.
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' E! O& W! U( ?If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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