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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
H& U7 [4 _+ Tbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
# f; M* `) ~- b/ ]9 F! p5 |the other possibility.1 a; o( k3 Y& q6 ^* F( z* i! a) H8 g
$ B" C# h, l9 J0 q) p0 PAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English2 T" g' L! X L# P( u/ ]
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
) Z0 t$ q$ R, Dplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make: M2 }6 M' F @2 y1 `8 Y
the sivil servants jump with joy." Q w! ~) }6 g
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
2 C O. a* p" w& A) _2 U6 z, {" W5 ^konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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. K4 ^" i8 {7 K: Y) lThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
, ^/ @4 A! f5 ] _9 ntroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
& R9 G# L& N! ^) u) ofotograf 20% shorter.
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4 o0 O5 }+ L9 h$ W' UIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
, A9 f% `. k6 mreach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always( V& r5 F) ~; @* h
ben a deterent to akurate speling.
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4 f2 n! w) R( l7 p4 a NAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is2 ]# w6 Q0 h" o8 e0 N
disgrasful and it should go away.+ E! @ [! L4 |, ?
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with# W4 f; ~+ W, g4 z' _+ A1 w
"z" and "w" with "v".
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
0 j( i" [4 T* r/ s$ uafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.; e% B; b% U) F8 m& A; r: F
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu! E* s' ]! M5 \& Z4 l1 z# Z+ M
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
6 q& J7 m! [* l1 R+ _. \1 H1 AUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
, A- a6 J2 X* C6 }0 @forst plas.: H7 r5 _/ s5 E
7 ?. ]0 \& K9 K8 H* G7 ~$ X6 G+ EIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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