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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
$ c9 ^" n# b' _, \* u8 j! F0 V* X7 ebe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
- e3 n; V$ Q# s9 S& E. @8 K3 Mthe other possibility.
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4 ]/ K. ]7 _- hAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
! h% w, C+ J) D5 K1 [9 }4 Y; ]7 bspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
7 U4 Q \6 D" Q- Hplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".5 O6 [; C/ b: _1 |# [
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make. Y. E3 c" q4 [! o, ?% M, P m
the sivil servants jump with joy.: B( G( H: j1 r1 p7 _+ ?+ A" _# f
+ w8 @" A% O* O, v" _! aThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
, n* ]8 {# o/ l! p# D; |% Hkonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.9 I' W# B2 v' a; V6 K2 O' f
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
0 _+ ?' U1 H- s7 f! `' ]/ Ttroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like/ N8 S8 ^0 v2 a- c4 J- \' `6 U
fotograf 20% shorter.
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" R: `* e- t* s3 W0 ]8 a4 ?In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
" G' o' x% G* T+ U$ l lreach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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% | _, Y0 f& ~1 D0 `( P$ yGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
: H7 t0 e/ L5 t% ?! n Pben a deterent to akurate speling." n1 C$ Y! ^: _! B- F, r
( ]4 d3 ~+ K& dAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is2 w7 c) i+ u4 Q" k
disgrasful and it should go away.. [5 r k& f6 s3 C
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
( w- p* g* x: G4 r1 c"z" and "w" with "v".
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
2 ]' ~ y# w5 @$ Iafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.3 t; `: n6 F1 l2 V+ L R
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
; Z+ k7 x' F$ x% p3 R+ ^' g# Nunderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru. w2 L/ k0 n( I" c: l7 x
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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