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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
* |2 d# }$ O9 | L, i9 Lbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was1 L* f1 f! C \* L9 z' ?
the other possibility.; c& u: c# S' ~& {3 w$ O# }
9 N4 [+ Y! ^- R6 t2 ~: i. TAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English; i2 ^3 m9 u% O4 t& ?
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in8 ?4 `: U5 |" ]2 r: P; K6 O
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".2 Z2 x% A" q% P6 O' t
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make, \; N/ Y$ x! O$ ?5 p x
the sivil servants jump with joy.
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3 s% m; ~, f9 s) ZThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
2 O. x8 z5 v: C/ pkonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.$ M% e. R6 M9 D) y3 U/ D; d% b
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the( \7 E( x/ G7 [4 X
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
; D6 N7 L, [1 N1 Nfotograf 20% shorter.
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0 u7 J/ |. I3 m3 R6 y5 {In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to' Z4 }, A1 _; |! U4 J, g- O) f& R
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.8 J J( W/ l2 U& Q" N6 u! p j
9 S7 j- G. i8 K* Q6 W& v. TGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
1 n1 d8 q5 Z E9 T, iben a deterent to akurate speling.8 b0 @+ |2 ~2 U. F3 h1 A/ X
8 C8 |5 G( t' t( ^' p2 nAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
% T) L F5 n4 c! [4 r+ {* mdisgrasful and it should go away.1 Y+ ^/ o. y& l% z, L9 Z0 U2 z
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with' v- o! X* S; a) [, k4 k0 P) V
"z" and "w" with "v".$ A, ~( r3 R7 d+ }, v
M4 D8 `$ O( U' ^$ N) ?During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
5 ~& W" r6 u" B+ u* w& }: [. Rafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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/ }0 ?) F" e% L5 f& `% ?Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu+ ~8 u6 n7 e* n) X' F7 y
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.% |2 B. L$ ?% t: _# J
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze7 ^' @# Y _+ P8 C4 K
forst plas.5 { F5 B9 {1 `9 H" |. M
8 k5 l0 p4 }* [: J, [If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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