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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will! a0 ?: }1 x$ o A) w7 }/ A7 O
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
- r4 J: @" \4 T" V5 [the other possibility.
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English: h9 a- D4 [* R: d; o
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
7 _- m5 ]& j1 y( Q, r$ lplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".5 j. g* E! U. ]1 c- p
6 V' Z) a# S1 M: z# m) @In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make% P- ~0 U' w% q5 y
the sivil servants jump with joy.% a: ~' ~' d6 G: H0 M1 V, y& M
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
4 C! n. A% p% t5 D7 x$ |" d: n) Vkonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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/ Z5 Y4 f L2 J tThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the; m7 F; Y% S7 M5 _
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
, |6 N- j: F1 Mfotograf 20% shorter.
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
! `0 P- g8 z% x- zreach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
+ g/ y% S4 [( d( sben a deterent to akurate speling.
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
$ ~4 b5 q0 d/ I% _' y( }disgrasful and it should go away.2 p4 Y' B) p4 m1 }( q
1 Y, ~1 S( E* P0 O, T6 R3 EBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
% ~7 F) r) R, P% O+ n6 }"z" and "w" with "v".
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and a2 A, K; J/ [5 Y! q0 g7 i- S
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.( r6 m4 S" [+ E; n2 Y ]
# n; i. a0 U; M; GZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu( C$ b2 ?$ g, E2 h
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru., k( r& k o$ ?2 a6 W9 s% U+ _
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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