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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will; H$ t/ H, x. V5 u
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
8 A' c# ?* U4 |, B& Jthe other possibility.) L5 r4 U( K1 n: u# X6 p
" |, f; g; _* T2 N5 b" x* t. KAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English/ l2 T( B4 R7 R2 E( J A8 M
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
7 f' D& d' [5 Z- Mplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".( o, E7 o* d D8 I5 ^+ Z& e5 ^: {" c
* n) g6 k" X" M8 z' [. l) RIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make$ Q4 } a- `0 Y
the sivil servants jump with joy.8 K2 y3 d3 G! G2 L
) D4 h+ q* b" p; f V* P" VThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up3 x$ Y2 m" o! i( ], V0 }
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.! O8 X7 \( A6 p b6 [/ ]
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# o7 |4 e3 \8 n$ Z% oThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
9 w+ o, F& {8 w a: m4 q7 qtroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like( K0 X6 N k/ Y i- L+ l
fotograf 20% shorter.% l6 q# R- ]% |: j/ L
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to3 I4 l2 ?. g/ ^! f6 X
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible./ p0 o( S+ R6 t( e3 C0 r" \/ H: q
% M5 r; n9 b9 `6 r3 b! _Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
5 k- |, w4 J$ Y+ bben a deterent to akurate speling.% v/ ?( z3 k$ {5 g: V( y: d: B4 z0 z
8 ~2 f6 |8 a" g- m' [Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is' @8 J* i v: [, t! c6 X
disgrasful and it should go away./ x# u7 j/ ^, G5 L9 ]
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
$ ]3 I! X u" `- E$ R( I( g' t7 D"z" and "w" with "v".3 t8 }$ ^3 E! }8 {2 |* c2 `* |5 |
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
3 {4 t7 K& ?: j& jafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu/ [: z, e3 l; B9 c5 x4 @
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
7 q* s8 ]- y# c, Q( a+ dUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze* p0 a; p; Y+ z$ l! W. b$ j
forst plas.
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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