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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will4 ]/ ]' q( T( q" W$ x
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was4 x6 F% g4 f3 H" R" u& Y
the other possibility.$ h' I: k% U: m
: L& g! z6 a+ q+ P, F" nAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
6 {' e9 R- [8 e3 A Qspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in" r+ N/ t8 C; A. O
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
5 w2 k. ]& \6 E3 J6 x% v3 d- _ Nthe sivil servants jump with joy.
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9 N( d }, Y9 A" hThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
% m3 r( y$ x; ?$ l1 Mkonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.& U* s3 q& s- S: ]0 t2 L0 l
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the3 U# ?9 W! p+ h0 i0 B/ L
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
9 Y" P5 M0 T* M; a, l x* ]fotograf 20% shorter.
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
% U+ `* \3 U; F: }- S, H6 y+ J) ]reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.$ ]1 l$ J, g- D( x2 f0 L
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
: M" q5 f. `# Z; ?5 m- @ben a deterent to akurate speling.
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3 s! u# Z9 T5 u7 u6 Z' A8 OAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is. H) i/ L0 @; r+ g% a6 |( }2 O6 L
disgrasful and it should go away.
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6 `; t9 e+ |" j$ c5 nBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with/ T: H* w v! V" @# G4 R
"z" and "w" with "v". s% U$ D6 F+ y1 r6 ^9 j
3 f7 z0 H0 g' i& M* O5 h; ZDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and8 @+ r4 h% d0 p6 H
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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1 v: K: ?4 |- ]Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu8 C8 i6 l& R: ^- H
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
) p( B+ Q$ N$ e& Q, FUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze M9 t" Y1 E. `, u
forst plas.
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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