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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
8 I: S/ K% w" wbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was! h6 L+ @6 E1 f0 B, i
the other possibility.
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( }, R' Q: G. q8 g' ?5 H8 IAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English' g, c% ?6 t/ }( p, ~: V
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
+ A4 h3 [$ _7 t; g$ Hplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".0 n. x6 f7 L9 d, v X# |! y$ b) A
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make7 Z0 `! b$ t" J. Z/ h/ I) t1 [
the sivil servants jump with joy.
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0 L Y, w; W, _2 ~6 iThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up; D- l+ [2 U8 z8 E
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter." x: J& ]6 W, R8 w% N* b w
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
; ^ {; b9 T$ k9 \4 |troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
3 R2 B0 z& n* N: [' ]fotograf 20% shorter.5 }' V9 U6 R l- o1 G6 s& L
6 o* |9 _6 A! {' \( }In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
; K; I S7 t7 h+ G1 ^( Freach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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) _3 E% f* l- Q1 TGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
5 V- {( J4 I" O4 r+ tben a deterent to akurate speling.
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0 v) S, H, v7 d& g. \- FAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is# P, y3 B# V+ H/ I6 `7 s% `
disgrasful and it should go away./ w/ H7 q3 s/ A/ m( ^* m
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
/ j% N0 U) r: U3 f; r"z" and "w" with "v".
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4 c9 g0 v1 r6 ^1 T$ ZDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and. @9 V7 ?" q! m# `
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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- q* _* Y6 w/ h9 o9 w$ U0 eZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
6 g& }, |% a3 Q& [3 f, Dunderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.4 z% ?3 s- i$ i6 c9 i- |
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
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" P* V: `! B5 U0 R" v; ^If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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