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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will4 ^3 {* Q/ W" A- k0 D' k8 e( I/ j
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
) K# }2 ^+ T6 U2 n% s. o! Qthe other possibility.8 O% O/ F% c1 U9 u3 h
& y. M; k" H1 o1 }% p! DAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English' G% w) Z: `# m6 j% ^+ Y2 t8 W% m
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in4 ?& o& d8 s" t# v- J) q
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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$ o' ^- N" j- |+ d% lIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make2 x {, O0 } D) v
the sivil servants jump with joy.
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/ d& I% V0 _" M3 ]The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
+ i4 m& i9 N" U4 {4 R9 N \' b8 w, ?konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.: P* j! ~! e) C# A' {: u% S0 C: k
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
5 n% i- w4 x7 ?troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like; h4 Q( D w8 h' {
fotograf 20% shorter.
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to* _- A- N2 t+ Q$ P3 \/ y. z' I
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.+ Q6 _; I4 }9 O" x- Z+ \
* G. }' {/ j& ZGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
# B- H) M2 I3 [- |# e, Xben a deterent to akurate speling.
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3 q7 D; _+ G" Z6 g8 OAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
! Z! ~! o1 B" ldisgrasful and it should go away.6 x1 h% U+ v9 X
- {% @6 B k- E" o) [& cBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with7 F, d: ~; }: s$ G2 | k' u. X5 ]2 U
"z" and "w" with "v".! \8 ?+ V$ j6 W* `) n2 k+ K
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and8 W7 u3 Q5 w1 v$ Q$ y
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.4 f L( z, ~5 ?' m8 s4 U6 x8 C
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu" Z: T6 c9 P5 ]7 A0 O9 l9 ?; h
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.% k" Q" c9 ?: _0 d( [0 T- k+ @0 x
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze! x0 ?/ m" T9 Q4 s- N/ D4 e$ x
forst plas.
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0 }" l: e# ~, _0 v% N% f1 z9 @" RIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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