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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
* c5 K. w, F4 V; I6 G% ?3 U& zbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was! K! L& {0 B; y) C3 B, k& Y" U9 X% h
the other possibility.- v0 M/ n6 Q1 P" b
) k1 i& O' R% m5 T# l1 V. EAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English( {9 v+ p( n! J
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
0 `" _$ R% v5 m( }5 iplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".) i# |" m& B5 e0 i3 {* i3 f; R/ y: I
8 w9 a2 p1 I3 t1 n3 M6 }In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make9 }( L4 p8 C2 B, `+ I; }1 s
the sivil servants jump with joy.$ s2 U2 N @8 ~8 k: W
" U3 Y$ S- N0 E2 G* pThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up! O+ u; @# j, h/ S. D
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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- k! `: W: ~: p' `
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the4 J' w k6 B. ~0 k2 \
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like( g, H& {3 h/ J5 _: S
fotograf 20% shorter.) L7 K& D- o& ?' d& J {! g
, L) c7 C; r, z: A2 WIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
( k+ i0 z Z9 j8 n6 q2 jreach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
8 ^ R- x$ \, }/ {ben a deterent to akurate speling.
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is, f2 a2 d# R, q4 B3 P
disgrasful and it should go away.* u. u# o4 s, M( o+ V
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
k+ [ p, L: K ^/ V* u4 Q1 ["z" and "w" with "v".* U2 ]. m2 a& j' y
/ T# O! f, E- UDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
# w7 ^. ~% P" G: ^% Tafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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) B9 V: {8 }8 xZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu* X, Y9 L: N9 b) D, q
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
1 f. `( B5 T0 T% X$ i/ h* t; M3 AUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze9 `( w, M! ~9 p0 t7 T9 z2 Q4 [
forst plas.
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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