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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
$ l7 M9 c4 C0 |& V: P$ d4 zbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was5 Q `4 J) X/ n h$ v( \9 u* |
the other possibility.5 n& N5 u/ f4 K# e
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
! Z e; h: H5 Ispelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in3 m; {0 i& g" W8 L% p. k0 U( u8 E
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".2 u% U$ Z3 s7 _
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
: F0 y4 K) z% N0 a- _the sivil servants jump with joy.
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
/ O, i, h" G2 F; q) E6 d5 N& P, l# p. ikonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.- s" \) J/ ~/ R0 ~# |
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
& B4 k" F/ y/ a% ^. V: G2 B/ g2 ]1 }troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
K# n* C8 z- b& I: ^ wfotograf 20% shorter.
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
2 \; R& I) K% S" T; C5 {reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always o( f6 f( S: k p
ben a deterent to akurate speling.
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
( d2 e/ N0 Y+ ]5 B: @! C9 I. ]disgrasful and it should go away.: i5 I8 u( D" H+ f @; ^, S
* a1 F1 h6 s- dBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with; X" v5 N4 l% J1 K }
"z" and "w" with "v".
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
: X2 X. r+ L* j" j M. A* R+ xafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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+ a& ]/ e* h2 C8 v* z }Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
9 g2 }2 S& \, B- wunderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
: X; N, J& n& b0 ` e9 ?Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
* d! ]+ `* H. o1 b" Jforst plas.
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. K, |; N" ^# r/ |0 l l6 L5 {If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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