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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will5 n1 b, s) F9 j" A
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
0 P9 b, E; J: q& s/ Ithe other possibility.
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' {7 N9 |/ \+ X/ ZAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English1 P' y, T/ {6 Y. ?6 q) f
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
7 \0 t. {1 b# m- T; f; {+ }2 K tplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make1 u6 r: A+ n# p8 P' ?
the sivil servants jump with joy.
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
3 M9 L) v5 y, n1 R& Z' b, {konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
$ L; I+ O7 ^( S/ a' H# w( m [. Itroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like) Q0 `& S0 D$ Q! r
fotograf 20% shorter.
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3 @3 U+ c% k& L/ K$ y- m/ N m: `In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to% I U( S) r2 _$ ^0 A5 V
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.& \4 _/ r# c2 ?5 I
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always: |# F8 W" h1 e) I: y9 N
ben a deterent to akurate speling. ^: w7 |4 Z _, C [
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is5 @; l- Z: _- h9 x* s( K) Y& m; ~
disgrasful and it should go away.
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
( b2 o, J) W- E. Y/ E. m5 ^"z" and "w" with "v".' y! Q9 w$ L3 M4 v4 A( h/ M* W; _6 m
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and# u0 L6 v3 o5 k% r$ d
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.- s1 q) O. I1 P2 N$ i
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
+ j L2 k! T% o$ sunderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.* H3 j2 B5 H! B$ M- Q. Q
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
( ]8 q3 q% @) _forst plas.
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6 _8 o! Y6 m! _# r( HIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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