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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
3 u" Q4 u/ J" q) K" Ybe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was5 w; p1 p/ |% w1 p7 q7 k. E: Q- k8 B
the other possibility.
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7 f- F$ d, b& `6 S, d. z8 b6 zAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English5 C m; l5 x, ?. a @2 o
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in Q1 ?5 U# e2 j n- T F5 j# I e/ t
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make9 d5 T: z9 y' Y: Z1 x* H! G1 A
the sivil servants jump with joy.0 k* t! D3 y6 \3 u9 V
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
, h+ C* E: ^4 ~! }konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
, |- @/ \7 [+ O$ |. b" Ztroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like) d7 @: m D. I2 W
fotograf 20% shorter.
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3 o) M: o7 u" y# I# JIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to* ^# A3 V8 b8 V) z: S
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.# Y" \; [ p$ C. ~, W( C6 K
0 p4 P* Z" X' U, I' ^% qGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always2 P. |: F1 N+ x) M+ v! S
ben a deterent to akurate speling.9 s0 I0 _( A" M$ v0 o3 u
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is4 W4 H: e: }# \% f
disgrasful and it should go away.
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* z) i4 X0 Y0 V2 h+ s0 l. j8 ABy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with' d. U1 `/ |/ \7 R) @6 a
"z" and "w" with "v".
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and; c, v# L% a/ b: B5 b! H7 J
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu$ |! Z7 |& b' H- a! R& S
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.! ^0 e; b( U4 d
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze S& s7 ]- D- c" o
forst plas.! e3 L$ r P9 n |( M8 P* C& D
3 S+ v, l2 _/ B# X; b. ~If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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