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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will+ [/ R& M. e( z Q
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was! w) e' }% a( ]3 C/ d6 T5 x
the other possibility.& ^, Y6 c( w4 F0 L. ^2 ]9 V! C
9 H* \' e3 ~$ U$ o" u J: fAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
: d6 r9 U/ Q9 wspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
) e1 M+ V6 |8 K4 F$ B5 Zplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make0 b! G. v) P+ n
the sivil servants jump with joy.
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& X9 Y8 p- r9 h; K! q. y6 [The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up! S1 U# o2 L4 {- ~2 J; o; c$ X
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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/ W+ j% y t: h: U' _There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the+ B: ~% C" |! t+ ]
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like; \- x0 g/ J w6 O! }, ^
fotograf 20% shorter.# f) e6 n, P4 ?
3 Y2 O$ X( b4 \7 A9 A0 ?7 w; o. h gIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
6 _1 X5 F" \- \reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.6 B! n6 ]9 z( r1 l/ F1 `+ h
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always5 d& _0 C$ }3 ~
ben a deterent to akurate speling.4 G7 Z! c& U$ b' m* G* L8 y, h
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
3 W; M/ t3 K( U j ]3 Cdisgrasful and it should go away.7 O$ K, l v. z- W( R4 N
! m, z8 M6 f# R! |% uBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with8 I+ w& M& K4 ~) A* U5 X# t
"z" and "w" with "v".: d. t6 X( L" ?' L* r4 i. b, @2 \
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and! p- L( F# F0 o
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.: v2 K* y3 J: m) f
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
) T8 u0 s- v( v% p8 W3 R8 d; hunderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.) { H9 i3 T. K# x- X% H. L; r0 ~
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
3 i( }' p0 ?4 P- J" {5 k% H7 eforst plas.* @& f+ H! {4 F& g& A6 m0 h, D! `( I0 Y
' B7 W6 Z- D' `! sIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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