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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
3 B; G0 h+ U8 G; z5 }6 C _be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was% n/ `* b( H& T7 l9 A, T3 S
the other possibility.
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% |& V- A$ R; o9 f2 i3 {+ AAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
9 p1 T9 P& T/ ]; Y( D Ospelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in' S& P# L3 b3 {+ x0 ~) I, {
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".# D0 k3 X$ |* `$ [
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
9 {& i* B- |4 b: A. H0 R$ E9 mthe sivil servants jump with joy.0 i4 ~' e4 e& v y9 g( s
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
/ d9 X3 d+ U' Qkonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.* J" o, Q5 A3 n& ?! Z) ^
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3 f3 _7 l- I, D% }( s+ sThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the. J) J. P8 [; I( h6 d. }% f/ U
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like3 w. Z# o' o# G
fotograf 20% shorter.0 c, `3 [' O/ L; }
- y6 g! i9 F% v2 ]( y/ \In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to8 F* S( u+ P2 p
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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/ ]& [% z( K- _$ K2 WGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
# E% J& y( U) F, | O' ?8 Lben a deterent to akurate speling.2 w2 B3 h; l0 O1 D. x
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
* c5 \8 @ \5 N! ldisgrasful and it should go away.
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7 B$ Z3 v; h+ N L4 z- CBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
* W# ?4 O; `- N5 g) i+ E"z" and "w" with "v".
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; g" Z! ]' @' E) fDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
6 D' @5 a8 O) yafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl. e l3 U5 G: Q
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu) V! C, g6 P3 M3 m- ], i( q! x
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.6 h" w; h/ o5 x0 k
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze3 R5 E! X8 M9 O/ j1 f
forst plas.
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* ]" E4 c& O$ k. R6 ~3 cIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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