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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
. N" a* e3 s! o) e2 m1 |be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was' X5 K. l$ W) p9 ?( X
the other possibility.
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1 }. l! w V2 t- z# v( I& EAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
$ S# p+ i Z- l5 N3 W3 b" }+ w8 Pspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
K Q- \" {3 L; X; U7 Lplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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* b' U x& L" F9 r$ |0 @' z, t9 p5 nIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make1 q+ S% [% I2 U6 g( M2 G
the sivil servants jump with joy.* N2 b1 A S3 R, J% F# I
% c: I! R3 B8 ~; ], ^* c' K" A! P
The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up6 p$ ~. p4 E8 E3 H. s4 `. M
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
8 f r& B, k- C
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
0 r7 a! g/ c! }8 {, Etroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like) L5 s, x9 \& n
fotograf 20% shorter.4 q6 I4 _1 P( @
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
: W ^' w7 G3 f8 jreach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.$ B1 b, f2 q' m+ Q
m( g# F/ L. M n9 ?$ o; o5 W
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always' \5 Z6 z. k% V3 s T* V1 j
ben a deterent to akurate speling.8 |3 q2 Z4 t2 H ]( I
) r, i; j! U. H' U3 jAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
" E2 Q3 j/ ]' odisgrasful and it should go away.. `) W2 X# ?! e" a
2 X6 T6 r6 j7 L2 J/ A" |: B. JBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
+ V e8 E3 e! X* A8 B( w( Q"z" and "w" with "v".# q* g& n* t# m$ x6 ]
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and2 |- u+ a5 L* T
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.4 o n5 j2 }! H
% o. X* x- F! V. u7 ?) X
Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
$ _0 o1 A8 }* I zunderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
% d6 Y% [8 Y3 {* c" O" Y; |Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze. J9 X5 n/ c! {0 ^8 y; N& h
forst plas.7 \! V% F" M. m8 I7 d* O
% _( r' ], }% ~: n1 u' l& CIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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