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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
( z1 B7 w. J! k+ S9 A$ tbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was% z2 d+ l* R2 o
the other possibility.1 r N o& q4 p# t
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
: p, F9 d8 K ~$ J$ D ~spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
/ @7 }1 G: i" @0 r$ xplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
, f0 T" m+ B/ T* A! s" x6 w+ rthe sivil servants jump with joy.( ?9 T% U( |: G1 z
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
1 ~+ H9 ]$ R: j! f- u4 s1 gkonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.- E: Z1 K! M9 T3 x
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4 q; w) X W+ x% e$ l: y8 hThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
1 R$ u. C0 y9 b/ @+ T' [5 htroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like6 y# Z3 T) \8 H% j, f9 s+ Q
fotograf 20% shorter.4 q7 S0 `+ Z2 J2 {; E5 j6 e& s
; ~% j7 }( q* z2 {. sIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to2 Q0 s* ~8 k# ~+ ]
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.7 W0 e) o0 B0 f' E' A
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always9 q$ X/ N0 \8 t9 y4 @) m
ben a deterent to akurate speling.1 `* O. d' j0 }) C
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
) f2 x C" B6 i& adisgrasful and it should go away.
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: @+ ]% ~4 N" J' v/ G+ oBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with$ s1 G- i: t9 l% v+ B7 ^
"z" and "w" with "v".
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and7 k& a) I: F) i4 j
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.' }- w! P) q8 {8 O
3 T' M* b p: K. r4 ^1 o8 O; [Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
2 Z: e8 Q. e: gunderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
V# m: K( l6 q9 J) zUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze9 G" q1 H; g/ [/ J
forst plas.
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, q3 ~4 S6 p0 v# P7 F( A7 wIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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