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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will# _& ], t7 Q1 ]* ?5 _) {3 R
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
8 G, r, O) b3 v% d; |8 v$ V+ \/ u1 dthe other possibility.) [. M' L% J- _- f7 [; \4 [$ j) p
9 M6 E/ m6 K$ M e b( |As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
4 S, W. A) |% v) gspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
4 s: B" v2 x0 [8 }& r, Bplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".# ~. s! } _8 c( e2 b
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
$ G5 }9 ^( u+ Ithe sivil servants jump with joy.9 V2 e4 F0 ~* c, {! V# ~
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up6 n; Y$ R$ ~& ^- n8 \
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.- S: i! }$ Y* b4 i' k
, c, {( Y' W t3 B* B( `# `7 u9 G4 G- F# H
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
8 P6 `$ r" { |$ i# Wtroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
7 ~ h/ v0 i! E# g4 \, [0 G( Ofotograf 20% shorter.! p1 ^2 e. W2 ~" W# y
& w0 e2 h8 ?. M' V" ]% X) DIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to6 G! ?: |6 Y; s& }, Q
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.+ d j* ~' j, O9 j0 U! @- y
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always7 Z- t: X( L% }; ~0 s9 x
ben a deterent to akurate speling.
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is- m! D' w3 C( k: [( B) P& U, p
disgrasful and it should go away. ^6 `7 u' }8 k j! i$ `) y
: V7 b6 O2 l$ z' ?8 Y3 m% A- @* KBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with0 M' U" u r" b; Z4 G' D
"z" and "w" with "v".$ z. O; j' I# K% I1 o2 h! K; }
, C# b( w, I3 a f% D' L6 W$ pDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
1 P, d1 Z% }. A$ h# j8 b: eafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.' f: n7 n# @0 A% c
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu( ~6 ]" J2 @$ [
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.$ N0 D" h# r! J# u6 X
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
: r/ T6 [7 m- b. k) m& Eforst plas.
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' Z H* k" L6 }5 Q5 i. HIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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