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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
7 u. d9 E: Y: n" hbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was+ l+ P5 @. g u9 |, z
the other possibility.1 w' ?6 x& B8 m) ~% v" g
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
$ Q# q7 j! @8 u, V5 q' {8 uspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in( p/ h- e- K9 S9 ^
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".5 e& U Z" ^3 i
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make/ y7 }+ M6 l& @& C) q' o
the sivil servants jump with joy.& ^1 U4 g8 z1 G" {0 L5 ?
" i7 @# l( N$ o T1 N( {The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
4 U" ~2 f( F8 I* q) |) ckonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the2 S0 A( h7 b' }6 G" k: b( h' F+ G
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like: z7 `7 d6 a; Z7 k" [1 T+ W1 n n
fotograf 20% shorter.
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to$ Y3 I; r. ?; V! D0 y
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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0 ]6 F& g d6 OGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
: q# C2 w8 U4 o5 x9 Sben a deterent to akurate speling.
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is A/ D+ F$ G1 ~; W+ y+ q( Z
disgrasful and it should go away.
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
6 M. r4 H2 J2 C! Q6 t7 K"z" and "w" with "v".
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1 ^8 O1 n& s- k) f) E, BDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and2 ~' K7 b8 D% R' C. F* N6 s
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.( _# L$ }+ b- D, A4 C1 `
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
0 o; A$ c" \9 a0 ^( wunderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.1 m# O/ f3 j. l3 e2 h
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze6 U1 M0 j: q& U- d% J, H
forst plas.& E( Q9 c {# U `+ v9 y
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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