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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
3 W* W; P, x3 d& a+ ]- I6 q8 fbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was$ i5 H# K1 K; f. S8 N
the other possibility.
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$ Y5 ~0 \0 R9 k) h4 a& uAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
* d! c$ R0 R* ~spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
! | Y1 d+ P0 s7 O/ oplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
" a V# U) P' ?+ Q; H2 _the sivil servants jump with joy.
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
# q. E( i/ K6 ]# r V! Jkonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the4 p, ]0 M6 b% g: R0 N! J5 D
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like v/ F! |( g+ ^- V6 E2 w
fotograf 20% shorter.
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to [# k: p9 S5 }2 f* i( S
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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8 {6 v1 J1 C) a: i H) n% H) eGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
& ]1 n) b2 m/ @' ]. D+ `1 f1 Xben a deterent to akurate speling.- X( Z% g" [- O: @
% |# M. P) H* V; i# S3 H8 gAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
{! q" O' e" _' A! j i: Tdisgrasful and it should go away.
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; i# C: N, ?8 w, X4 zBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with) } I1 a$ S; q" P# G7 x
"z" and "w" with "v".
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and1 [7 S& y" F3 N. h
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.$ |% @5 _4 K( ^
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
8 C2 I6 z$ x. F$ x: N& \6 }$ }5 _understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.& ?) } z$ [" |) @8 ?) Y
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
7 @: }5 m% @ X! W, @; Fforst plas.
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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