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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
* ]& O% s) Q% x6 }; l" x7 F" L5 K4 n rbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was; N- p/ D1 R8 G! i
the other possibility.
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+ w" w1 R5 `9 s; O ]: t" H0 eAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
0 [6 A+ n& o/ g5 V, f+ Sspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
; j5 J+ C. k9 Y+ a Fplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".7 f' P) h2 @! u" F( g6 I& {6 b' t8 ? |
5 _/ N! S. F3 B' d1 qIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
: V- i! j: D1 g E$ i; vthe sivil servants jump with joy.
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* H. v: m3 g' Q4 }The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up, a2 c0 |: \3 B9 ~' Z/ U+ V4 S
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. V6 z$ a& R( A( ?
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8 h; ~/ n3 @5 o4 w1 DThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
, L8 \2 Y& {6 S. P/ Btroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like8 E5 U3 `# a7 v/ w, d
fotograf 20% shorter.* o) |/ @/ Q8 _6 k2 j9 }
7 ]7 h2 r! P# d8 t% J$ N nIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to# C n+ P2 f2 |/ K) b& w
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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( j5 B5 y* s7 O1 X0 r: }# bGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always5 \7 r" }( j# W4 H* A
ben a deterent to akurate speling.
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is) {" j |6 _/ G3 s
disgrasful and it should go away.: {, U5 N. I6 r* j4 q
/ R) j( a) t1 \, R) w! [By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with0 [$ x. a7 g# E w r, s- i
"z" and "w" with "v".
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and6 y4 O- e% R* q! ?2 ~) f/ P) [
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.0 Q6 y! G; d+ W$ `
$ M5 o% S$ w- ^5 {* x# W* fZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
q$ r+ q; j( R: R8 iunderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.4 f/ h! g {) C
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
! R0 W: i+ X: I: T) eforst plas.
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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