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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
$ p1 p3 J$ ~% x c1 u. N6 ybe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was5 [& V0 @1 u# A6 c( D. y/ w# u( X7 z
the other possibility.6 X4 i: v8 k* @ `6 a5 e
- V7 @% M; w+ JAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English [9 y9 \( E, e
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in4 v: P1 \4 N8 [' j7 P$ u6 O# m1 T: }
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".' ~: Y8 x- \+ \, q0 O9 k7 o: y
" P% Q K+ q: Q" r/ B2 ~6 YIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make( ?5 V8 C/ t7 s& J& J5 y
the sivil servants jump with joy., w2 X, B8 g& l4 h9 ^* r
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
6 k7 L3 K6 c! j) s2 n- f# Kkonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.2 k- @" I' y5 v( I6 Q
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
: ]- S' [# |4 b+ z: _troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
; l* i" X8 S( t; K1 Z7 l& m" vfotograf 20% shorter.' z) i" d: }2 H0 g) L
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to! A8 X5 X+ j. a" D9 a5 T9 m- n- p
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.# ]% Z g6 I' V" L' d4 A
' W7 }8 [6 a, B) S) {: V* [Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
& l) T# b! _; jben a deterent to akurate speling.
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* r6 y$ b8 [, j) \; {) BAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is4 P4 U" I; b! B7 a; e
disgrasful and it should go away.1 P4 @8 D# { ?% R1 ^& H$ _, [
/ t+ i, W5 v/ W( t) o/ F; v: G/ cBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with5 ~" j7 G! X2 i; p3 j
"z" and "w" with "v".) s! p$ d U+ \
4 A, ~' }" }; c% d+ iDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and. j2 R1 j' H7 x* L y& v/ O
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.) ~' i$ K. t$ o! i# ]0 p
& a8 W" M4 R/ b; h; w+ LZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
( z3 ]0 H, ], H3 _understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.. T( N6 m1 B# R& ]1 o( E- ^0 V
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
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- k4 o! a* F9 _8 b# XIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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