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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
2 W, G w" w: |+ h; a. \$ ]/ Jbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
" n$ A" B/ o: }* d" I! }! dthe other possibility.( K) ^4 |9 C1 q- D) c- I* u
9 ]- Y X( ^% t2 w- R% @. b: G& nAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
" J+ q; ?6 H$ Zspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in7 x( @5 L& f( _$ X+ S2 C1 \% [
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish"./ a9 X( `) u4 ?: l+ C2 Y7 V- D
/ _( F# u9 l* n( LIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make9 ~# `5 G4 u& Y+ v% O% u+ |; X
the sivil servants jump with joy.
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3 X! H& y0 Q% b$ c: w' h. S) vThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
) J' |$ u6 ?: Y6 U, jkonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
+ l3 R: c+ R2 O4 c: K, a$ B' s
7 o( c9 i* n; n% ^+ m. x- y2 x+ v1 ^# d6 A% T2 h7 \3 e
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
% E: L; H+ d) w3 Atroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
5 `- @& Z5 S. Bfotograf 20% shorter.
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
6 a- Y: U5 u4 i% t, f* L4 z8 breach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.6 Q' Q8 }) k, X$ p* f
6 V% p S$ O1 K# }- I
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
L) \& S& g5 [5 r1 A% R- r- H4 Bben a deterent to akurate speling.* [8 _& }! B) Y, h/ Y
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is" L. g- D# l" w) H2 j
disgrasful and it should go away./ \* F" B- Y( c" n' R0 G! y6 o+ z
7 C/ C2 d; M4 q6 p% q% zBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
8 S; @- i N' h( \/ O$ g"z" and "w" with "v".
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
9 t- F, b" ~3 }! F: a7 i/ jafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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) t) D6 O$ t- [Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu' l1 h( o1 H3 r1 O$ E
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
* Z$ ?4 S4 L$ [3 _; |% n/ kUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze H1 _0 o4 k( }# i* a
forst plas.
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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