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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will* ~/ B: P9 Y( [9 N( {
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
5 }# l& g0 t' k, _! u! kthe other possibility.
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* E) V# |; [6 t( j$ Z: [As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English6 `: W0 N& `8 v4 |% b
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
; f9 j0 Q, {2 f" D; ~8 Tplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".' H+ P$ e a+ m* A; s3 x$ P
( j; Y" ~- z: a8 _In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
+ T" V: ^4 h# j, `' G4 S" r6 A( vthe sivil servants jump with joy.! R) Q2 ^2 j2 ?) c3 k7 ^2 h" d
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
! E/ w; ^: R" r8 Fkonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
! S9 t' W5 R4 @, r2 q8 V3 ^ htroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like& m$ A7 V+ @4 l- s
fotograf 20% shorter.# F, T9 z# @. u# A7 _5 K: ?% l
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to/ t' u$ a& c- q* ] f
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.$ H. d1 n9 X+ y2 K, r$ B- a
4 F- B2 V9 x- {; _# \Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always' `( h* W" v3 H
ben a deterent to akurate speling.
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4 N8 d% j. {1 d8 x* ?2 q4 nAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is. `% X! O1 Z$ E) W
disgrasful and it should go away.
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
/ @; t% q# @+ ?% p) M"z" and "w" with "v".) V, ?6 o9 G- ]; }
$ v+ d3 o5 Q t* wDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and1 K' \9 R1 q6 w q* t6 |6 i
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.5 h2 P2 ~; ~0 X$ _& L ]7 s
0 r$ q& I! V, Z/ x, T' QZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu# i0 V/ H& x( `9 h
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.9 \, N/ C* ?5 f, P2 c1 I9 E
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze& [- e6 m; O# O# [ ~# p
forst plas.# X, r1 d1 z" A0 h0 E6 j+ {3 O& S
- x, ?9 }. T- S" e0 w' K0 aIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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