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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
* U- X: F4 Y# ]! F; C3 fbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was& j) B4 ]& \7 ]1 f! J2 p
the other possibility.
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English# _. B! k& Z/ V7 G; z* b2 i6 ~
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in- P" a& D( f3 j8 V
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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7 X+ |9 E# {) ], U) b3 t) tIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
9 b* @; V0 O0 i# Ethe sivil servants jump with joy.' i, ^1 g* V A& ~" k2 j
, q+ @, S: q! T% }# }+ ]3 xThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
! l; e6 J7 J: j. Y7 |0 Hkonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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+ S# z; \) `3 ]There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
3 I3 T# ~% y' Z$ [troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like) E, n/ U: T2 N) c
fotograf 20% shorter.
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+ M4 l; n% G& j8 c+ Q) c% MIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
/ `* a" D# J$ ]0 O' z5 ?: Preach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always. h& [8 `9 o' o
ben a deterent to akurate speling., c1 c6 h9 x5 Q
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
3 v/ o2 R( f3 V3 zdisgrasful and it should go away.
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9 C R9 X9 h, O6 E" |. k/ wBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with0 H- r% t, v) l4 [) l" K/ C0 l9 _
"z" and "w" with "v".
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and6 W1 d2 I' B& e- m
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
P/ h }% C$ ?) s8 U5 a1 ]# T: zunderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.# v" i; F- B4 t- N" |: I4 p: b* G
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
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) y) h- W7 Q WIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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