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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
& T# E3 n% H+ Cbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
+ o- K" P$ `( K: sthe other possibility.
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English% ]2 d1 i1 L2 O( @- V4 J4 }/ ?8 k; v
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
) a7 z% W9 k$ J: H( E6 H3 Hplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make% r1 j% s f" k8 A0 r
the sivil servants jump with joy.
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up/ y7 H, z, S' b4 h* |% p$ y( L8 C" H
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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% g2 X4 u/ L& y: D, O0 gThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the, r) R& i4 ]' R X) _* u
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like& u% q9 A. ?( H% F% |* K
fotograf 20% shorter.
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) d. v- K- j3 J( g& yIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to& b8 C) Z+ R' ]
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.: n- f; f6 \" e2 t1 L6 ^. e
( k9 j$ r0 Z! w$ NGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
& U0 d7 d1 |9 D2 qben a deterent to akurate speling.
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g% s! `5 ~6 j( v$ B: K2 YAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is* Z( X1 H6 C' u6 O; J
disgrasful and it should go away.8 F$ S; u, R+ E2 h% l7 J# }
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
9 I" U6 E' V0 x4 _"z" and "w" with "v".
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
& W% f: p. a0 I( iafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.5 s- k# r$ {; l$ }
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
8 H1 O; V& }* [! L U4 vunderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
1 \6 r* D2 S: NUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
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+ S; d' {1 H% }7 F% |% u! XIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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