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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
2 ~* d$ R4 B( V! E+ tbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
' G. i/ F2 t8 s& W* X8 \the other possibility.. Z1 Q a6 O7 }
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English2 Z. ~$ c& E O8 r* E1 Q
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in! p$ Q, I1 z3 m+ A4 q8 ?
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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& n3 C1 Q/ e. H. G) b0 `$ rIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make# y5 K. N7 G2 c
the sivil servants jump with joy.
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4 M" h# ~& T8 ]5 kThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up* |) A* M, V/ M& K9 Q: Q
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.. o) S. a' v" |' M: ?! q6 p
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
) R7 x; C; e$ o4 J" Y) Y$ G" ?& ]& f0 {troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like2 N5 `3 [$ S3 z& t2 ]8 }
fotograf 20% shorter.2 @8 D: A; S( { Q: @6 Z' {
0 N3 }4 M# v9 }In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to2 d/ |9 I; ^( Z- ^0 c
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.$ f+ R) c" q3 n& z1 ]+ u. n
) g; R5 ^. ~& M) v8 OGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always# G& U H8 t. g1 b
ben a deterent to akurate speling.
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
. x( f* B/ f* o4 C# U! @& Gdisgrasful and it should go away.
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
8 H% K& h5 k1 b' T( u7 ]" n/ R6 J"z" and "w" with "v".; L& z K: ^5 U* `) r5 x( T6 e
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and: ]3 S1 Z& U9 z* Q$ }9 ?
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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/ m0 I6 N5 [- m) I, l& aZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu7 d: U& x5 Z* w/ V. [; J, B
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.$ f$ e+ w5 B9 ?
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
: l; E" v/ y4 H" fforst plas.
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) M7 ~1 z0 K7 z ]7 m1 sIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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