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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
" B1 R7 N# F4 E/ `1 F% \( ?be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
( L% A5 B. d* |$ w# @the other possibility.
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Y' j3 Y8 i+ e; P8 k0 X) MAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English: F- P2 F: }& Z! Z' x
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
) f/ y. }1 C* z) b% dplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".6 G5 G( n) m2 Z0 p0 l
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
) E' b. {) B# {' J: ^7 Ythe sivil servants jump with joy.5 W0 s8 }5 f2 Q1 D
8 h- W' B/ [: J/ I$ t% OThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up' Z. n; w' t3 U: w# {& r
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.! |( x v8 m' |4 L3 Q) Z% N. H+ `
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9 k) f6 C$ C% J4 N$ I5 MThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
2 S7 L* Q' Q4 f6 g1 ~8 r. s% Stroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
1 e. N! k2 y1 X6 G2 ?: C: b& cfotograf 20% shorter.
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- p+ k2 U# @6 T/ }In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to" S/ e" h) [* G2 T* {+ K5 x j
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
$ X( Z! i& t& d. W) P) W. V; ?ben a deterent to akurate speling.
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+ X$ y2 C) U0 Y* qAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is' w% i- l( [9 b7 @& a4 }- K4 O" F
disgrasful and it should go away.
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with0 u: y% j4 w' |
"z" and "w" with "v".4 ~- @1 K0 I8 S0 r- W3 \$ \
% b# d4 s! s+ [6 n6 E+ \ NDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
# X. k" A: z Hafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.: O; x) _: n6 h2 A! G
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu, D" a, R/ }# y; k
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
0 [# P l- D2 u* Z7 F# O& y a9 a+ YUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
* `2 q5 h, q: f& k: qforst plas.6 t* c4 |9 n8 Z8 X" a! ~# Z% A7 H" V7 G8 V
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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