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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
\$ B% r) u8 |& I3 _) i; R' Z! o" Cbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
3 o: s/ i, ?; K' d3 Zthe other possibility.
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. @/ g. `- {# |8 b& G. U( r& U' KAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English, Y% T0 n# n6 c: Z, K& S
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
8 d& @# o& m: d S2 aplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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- ?1 a( f$ P1 f8 z* UIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make1 a* Y( E* x0 L( W/ i5 @0 K. [
the sivil servants jump with joy.
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up- a. \$ l: y4 o* p- u" K' T" o. l# t
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the4 Y- _4 L p; w! C) b* Z. ~
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
0 }7 Z3 @/ S9 y! H) ]/ b' o( r. ?9 Zfotograf 20% shorter. d* j6 w* ?. `! d5 r) J; {8 C
( N. d) K0 a, |In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
& W4 v# j& o! j1 M0 v8 jreach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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, X# {# J. k* i8 Y4 \Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always! h, |) g1 @. C' _
ben a deterent to akurate speling.
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+ r& S7 `8 ]; Z2 uAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
t" A- B: _. ^+ Ndisgrasful and it should go away.
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+ k( y6 b- {# c+ h8 p# WBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with/ M4 W. H. n5 m N7 t9 `0 ?. R
"z" and "w" with "v".: v8 J$ v' j) P/ X8 V, h0 A: R
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
7 X' m6 [. k) t2 `% w6 c( cafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.1 X. m9 D- v2 V" E) ?
0 I' d' ` M- X }3 J+ ]Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
8 ] A; K3 w/ Ounderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
* X/ @+ X9 \* o; G5 TUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze2 J8 M7 |' }: c5 g9 |
forst plas.
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p1 { ?6 X& J! z) n4 HIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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