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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
9 e+ P0 [3 k+ Q7 J/ [! {7 j3 _be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was8 Q7 Z- V- W6 g9 _1 J' X9 |3 \
the other possibility.
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* ]- k- b1 ?' W5 XAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English8 M4 A% t8 F9 \, Q; I9 ]- m
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in W' ]: k4 P; A. b( f. g7 v7 y
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".7 Z' D+ G! m2 U8 h
1 A0 v5 H6 g1 F+ o9 aIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make% i( @3 U( O* t/ Q: g
the sivil servants jump with joy.
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) j* X+ A3 C+ N" yThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up- l, b5 |" d2 I
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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1 ` z" V# I3 O3 IThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the7 ?0 s/ c2 X5 X9 Y, h$ S+ G% L7 s
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like5 t" _; a( }6 a$ T: s) c) A# |6 s6 r
fotograf 20% shorter.
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to4 v2 y$ Z! J4 X. O7 T
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always% u" l7 G1 |2 f+ h q
ben a deterent to akurate speling.
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" }9 Y$ o/ p1 c+ pAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is5 J: `/ b% k6 M! U3 U9 S* ^( I
disgrasful and it should go away.
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, s4 g8 z% m5 O+ kBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
+ E( n, N- ?5 Z8 C, ]- a( Z"z" and "w" with "v".
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6 B$ K6 @1 F, eDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
4 C4 L3 t$ N% z2 q' d5 Fafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.; T8 x. T% m; E0 C
3 r h% y* d. \8 k! yZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu* Y y1 N5 `4 Z0 s. D
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
# d! u p+ s+ Z1 C+ N$ A0 c+ ^Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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