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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will5 @3 r5 @% D; O
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was+ e6 M% w8 f/ i9 _7 ^- E4 F3 k
the other possibility.6 K4 X$ \6 ^/ O% w$ P
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
+ |1 v% M, _+ q5 S, A F) Y* kspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in5 h: C0 e6 U; q& ?0 N
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
$ {* |5 j. ^2 Z1 B E6 P5 \the sivil servants jump with joy.. b7 R, ^/ V) T8 ~
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up% u2 n# k; ]2 h" v
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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( |# l2 B) K, z% ~1 YThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the3 h# l# ~2 y$ W/ ~' V
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like" f) l$ p. c. N) H/ U7 @6 m7 r
fotograf 20% shorter.
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
; e$ F/ o! K) D3 s% Yreach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
& {# y% \' c+ _ben a deterent to akurate speling.
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, L* u' L8 R" z, z: Y4 UAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is, k9 Y( \7 z% m8 Q* ^& r/ p
disgrasful and it should go away.2 N, R8 z1 `# [, J) u
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with- \: s* y' }, l
"z" and "w" with "v".
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and; j0 T/ u1 g& s6 q: f6 v
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.% F+ w$ M6 K9 A5 R
! y% N0 X8 V2 T1 e; iZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu# ^& g/ \. F: w( o3 C3 Q
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
+ J7 X) {$ {1 W5 A0 ?, o! ^Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
/ ]' R3 N' P/ I' P8 M6 dforst plas.
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/ s! z( |/ @7 h. uIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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