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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
$ m) i) v- ^9 cbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
7 J& j9 x7 K. M3 h; T3 e8 x5 l8 _the other possibility.
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English$ q/ s/ T5 R: M1 e- o: F- E* ]
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in5 R, v$ W% \' c4 W! ]/ F: m. B& y& [
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish"./ B5 `" c5 h' Y2 v0 L0 `7 O
, t7 j0 l" ~0 U( {- EIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make( o& B5 a& m8 a) r! G7 B! t
the sivil servants jump with joy.
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' f% B N# P+ R5 @0 v- o) t) mThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
$ |4 S) y) g5 Q8 Q# w/ Fkonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the& N, E u+ V# Y
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like1 w) U2 y+ {# {1 ]5 W0 u6 `
fotograf 20% shorter.
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
$ `. m, k) K1 @) Wreach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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+ d+ C4 q& k8 n+ g: VGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
3 o9 \; L4 u" r1 T9 Lben a deterent to akurate speling./ n* f, U0 ^# ~! q1 u. a/ r# D7 p$ [
. t: b2 ^7 ~2 z+ D8 O. YAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
F! V! y' E5 ~9 n4 qdisgrasful and it should go away.
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
z/ k$ v* X! [( z7 _9 M"z" and "w" with "v".0 B& f5 y; R: Q- F( d) V0 h
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and7 S- Q! ^2 J# ?% c
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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) {* n2 q3 w$ VZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
+ {3 u1 [0 d8 X3 _5 V: E: n. c, ^( tunderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
1 H# s5 L# s7 L( A; yUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze! w, |( p) @$ w% } ?3 V/ e
forst plas.7 e: _* K1 x$ r" Q% Q7 B
2 N' }8 Z, w5 IIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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