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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will' q' b: T. @ a: |/ b/ ^
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
/ ~' P! H9 u8 a: Ithe other possibility.
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
# w" S0 |9 p! [5 B+ X5 {- dspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in7 \8 t+ U0 V/ d3 d
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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. \7 y- B- k% L0 P+ h) S' S RIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make; z2 S! o" ]# g5 b @& `9 Z* B
the sivil servants jump with joy./ v6 [/ C5 a4 w& ? W' C
6 m/ Z7 _/ |8 u$ t2 FThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up7 G* n; k+ A$ V6 v' R0 T+ Q+ S! L
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.: g2 s* e ^. d
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2 C7 K# l. C5 N& z4 a: gThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the6 N! ?+ L1 W3 Q
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like U+ Y( O4 X' R5 ~- g
fotograf 20% shorter.
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to6 f$ w# j1 w- `4 O. M" v( m& r
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.* l' S. q& M- \2 B6 }
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
' K: i& z z" F; ^" E/ Dben a deterent to akurate speling.
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
5 u7 Z# o. y l: Idisgrasful and it should go away.! S/ L7 Y' ^9 X* w( @' u
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
* I2 t$ x0 A- A* a K/ C; ?after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
2 v G' d( i5 C" P ]! munderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
% M1 c2 Q- \6 |5 Z; q, aUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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