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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
: a: N0 ]$ b. J; ?; ~% D* _8 {be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was3 y* M# ]- A' `* v% h3 S8 w* W% `& P
the other possibility.
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& X5 a3 f9 U5 k, T$ R. j8 @5 }( _As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
' `1 m; ^& R# E/ rspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
G7 y. X& n, z3 I( vplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish"./ X; _" H! S, ^7 I
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make) [/ D9 y/ t& c- H+ X7 x
the sivil servants jump with joy.3 A4 X/ p1 Q* ^8 L" p
, e3 @; J4 r# S( G3 a3 H0 ^The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
2 Z- o: A( H- akonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
! Q+ v5 H( {- ]- Gtroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
0 k7 f/ I" f5 _! Y* V" e. Gfotograf 20% shorter.6 Q% B4 _# e) U+ V+ g+ |
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
2 c1 C* d% Z6 sreach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.+ M! N7 Q9 X3 Q7 S- S/ Q
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
8 f$ S$ g* S ]1 O: b( N" i, vben a deterent to akurate speling.& M# r3 p s2 h) E
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
' U& b( h& K/ @' y0 ~2 fdisgrasful and it should go away.
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( w7 |5 @1 Z, b1 L" o; z( U( F1 kBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
6 K5 c- G& v1 n$ W"z" and "w" with "v".
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9 `6 u6 f) Q5 O% j. l" C2 S8 YDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
& g, e2 L. t8 S2 I) Vafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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4 z- T& o. H) WZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
1 v% S& h R" A# v2 O' [0 \9 ~( i# junderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.+ j" u; P+ n. P5 V$ f. v
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze. w' T9 \$ P6 h j$ p. c
forst plas.
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Y; n$ h6 j3 F$ [7 ^If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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