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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will+ m# L2 f) G0 A: b* ~; Z
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was2 ^: I* P- M& x h* E
the other possibility.
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5 x! I8 e/ s8 UAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English/ G& b/ L- P9 u8 ]1 Y
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in0 H9 }" j4 m5 Q
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make' j$ ^, \' T6 B( U' W
the sivil servants jump with joy.+ |, j- z: R+ c6 T
! Z: T2 H! T3 h+ W: J% c0 MThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
$ d% m& q, T' d! i: r% hkonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.( O3 C1 e3 {$ T, Y
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* O4 `! @! {# u( y! ]# xThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the8 q4 e8 b8 _& B- v0 E3 r8 w& }
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like n/ m9 e% _+ H! \2 j
fotograf 20% shorter.* l& N- I0 o- D! O3 b8 k" J' y
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to) n7 b/ i0 F9 Z p' l ^
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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0 z# H8 y4 @2 u# RGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always- [* X6 C8 |( [" W* m/ i8 t4 t( Y
ben a deterent to akurate speling.
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' V2 Y+ ~4 b( F( i O6 j4 YAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is0 ~ `. Y( o% ^% b
disgrasful and it should go away.0 g5 K6 b6 ~7 n/ f5 z' M
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with- U2 m2 S% M ^- n' R
"z" and "w" with "v".
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- s% e6 G( O% W) a' q: x' bDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and* D7 H. S. p) U& B1 t6 V, h
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu# `8 r- l6 X% X, X& ]2 l
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.* U" p! E1 F8 u0 E. W
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze( e0 z) O- U$ _8 n# J
forst plas., G- U' F. k ?: S
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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