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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will* V. x& H% x& P3 g! N/ F* |
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
S, ~2 G4 O5 Hthe other possibility.
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- @8 A* p7 z7 a* m; U9 L, LAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English& n0 v: `$ b l( y" y
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
$ C. p& O3 T+ a( I+ |) ]8 eplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".5 K$ a# u8 G+ r5 T. Q( H, z( y9 L* x
' P3 L5 r) g9 a) |. k4 jIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
, u- W3 l3 k) h8 r. r+ D0 [the sivil servants jump with joy.
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% {1 H- U6 ^7 c6 kThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
% U8 G$ X+ }- y$ |! Kkonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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0 @, N# j2 I' a6 g, }. WThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the4 D3 j) Z4 X T6 v1 k
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like4 F, H9 U, m* {* G3 N. O# O* @
fotograf 20% shorter.1 m% L- y( C8 g* y- C
1 |- ~% r4 ^3 R- e, DIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
/ ^7 R* K. y F2 t- jreach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always! a D) a- p" `
ben a deterent to akurate speling.
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
! ?! Y2 U# J9 r. Jdisgrasful and it should go away.3 e) B' R" E' h3 ~4 f
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
- H' J: p6 z0 `2 G. Y' W"z" and "w" with "v".
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6 y& y( w7 k! T: x. Q \3 xDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
6 {3 n' ]1 K7 u% G6 Lafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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1 Q7 [4 J& x2 g5 b9 fZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu9 c Q. I) r( A2 [* S
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.4 K1 \% V- h% d1 Y, W
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze" o+ @6 m, o# C
forst plas.0 ?$ m6 q- U( W) _$ ^
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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