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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
$ _5 g! p }9 Xbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
0 ?9 E% E3 o, V3 {the other possibility.
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/ ~! M4 b# A D5 Z& ]As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English! q/ Y5 u8 P1 q4 h7 v+ I
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
& Q, f9 B. E" Bplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".4 b' W! g' M+ `! z, Z$ s2 B
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make2 j4 b1 b, t3 s( C; t' \! F8 `
the sivil servants jump with joy.
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- A) f; n2 o1 `% e+ }8 _( GThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
. K5 f' f- U* pkonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.6 X9 S& n0 x4 ?+ e, X
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the6 L& k) y' d6 L [/ m+ }
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like- J- H5 J" ?. y3 E4 J' d' z* l
fotograf 20% shorter.
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
. i1 }! T) \; ~' Kreach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
8 I3 F' {6 o4 r6 B# M1 P( {3 [+ Mben a deterent to akurate speling.: w: X: l* X; o* |6 ?9 v% i
2 h; y. v" a4 q! ^2 S( _8 K t4 AAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
& T' ], M# E' R3 K/ _* E; hdisgrasful and it should go away.! g$ z! Y& C/ o5 H6 j8 s
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
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9 T* g) Y/ K! IDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
U' L6 |) w% t/ A/ x! V4 Gafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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- j$ G" W# {: D2 l/ `' F: vZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
1 ~0 p# i9 D5 Y$ ?3 W& B3 ounderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
# k" \4 R0 V9 l7 C" `! e. WUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze# ?0 B6 Z3 v/ T3 L
forst plas. b$ K2 m# ]8 F4 U# T1 o
/ `( g4 S; z/ t UIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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