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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will, E) @ @) ^2 V# V" q
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
" o. f: i) |% l& E7 H0 qthe other possibility.
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6 N. O9 T3 q; P. b" y: vAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
2 g4 n0 Z" ~& y! H8 mspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
9 c8 [& a$ ?* Z/ | I# t9 bplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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* j& U0 N0 b( }1 z8 ]8 gIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
" X- @9 @5 ~ N$ u# \. A+ e0 P$ qthe sivil servants jump with joy.7 q# G3 b$ w( f0 O5 C3 V
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
! c6 B8 ~) Q h7 V! C9 lkonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.' b) X1 [1 o/ g( C: g* J5 B
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the. C# \5 u+ i* W& Y
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
. i) L+ f/ R3 K9 X7 rfotograf 20% shorter.& Y( z8 v5 g* r# _0 B
' T {( G* o$ O$ T1 u: ^In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to# n0 `3 Z: ^6 \6 U4 @) q
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.1 ^+ ~+ [% }/ }% e% {# q
/ i+ @' D8 ?8 g" r# O/ Z" eGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always' u# G5 L, P! I3 K/ W
ben a deterent to akurate speling.
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+ }2 l! v/ n* Z. Y+ AAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
- f* a7 n% G" y0 B9 P! C# [disgrasful and it should go away.
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; s& e/ K9 f. Q" X e k7 CBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
( E, m8 p9 r' d3 `( I0 c' w"z" and "w" with "v".: U( ]* O4 Y$ G, U1 e
2 L6 W+ c# s# z( o6 gDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
4 x- [3 c5 n* h, E- vafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu, Y l+ a& `. g% x- e2 e2 m; ]) h
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
# j4 n1 F+ I( R& HUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
% D5 y/ Q5 ~, u3 J& X8 u$ j. Q8 Tforst plas.
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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