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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
# r/ W1 M1 z' Q+ ?- F( f% ybe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
/ c5 Q% N% _+ |) Ythe other possibility.& r! j5 _/ t% }2 ~) U/ g% e; ]
& L8 [5 d) Q6 M# s7 w* lAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
& D0 K( g$ e, e# K k3 kspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in. T; D+ F2 _( L) v7 J
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".: E. E' O* P& _
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make' S$ ?# h! D" v# E: ?' n5 X. E
the sivil servants jump with joy.
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up- U. @4 `- `* U% m( R0 h
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
o( k) b* \& J7 r, A7 r% k3 E% ?# c, k2 M0 F8 n7 ~
* Q2 O2 i, e( @There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the9 L( D8 J) u' K' ^0 N B
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like+ m5 \& j& r' h8 k. h+ j' w
fotograf 20% shorter.1 ]9 y% i! [: j2 _. ~! p) z! O/ H6 R( h
' ]4 G2 P8 M3 o8 y& L3 Z
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
4 f5 y5 d3 ^ f/ y' Ireach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.( [4 x: V! g' {8 K+ t' K0 ^
5 l4 w. S6 U" l4 hGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
' Z; r( [2 g+ x/ P, jben a deterent to akurate speling.
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) M1 A; J# r$ E* mAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
3 h, |8 y& ]9 i. Zdisgrasful and it should go away.# W+ u* i) _1 u$ K
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
j2 e* O: }$ R+ Y3 o"z" and "w" with "v".. X/ n/ `1 e1 ^1 n5 z
( X0 @' h6 ^% v, O1 A( `4 N3 dDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and7 R1 R; m/ D+ i' U
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
: Z6 |7 ~ H7 C! Z# Gunderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.* G# K$ S Q/ \. ?" Y$ C2 ^
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze: w9 ]6 [) N2 l& d) [2 X: T$ N
forst plas.
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* U7 b/ W: Q5 ]3 H' jIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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