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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
% ?$ U; X7 h1 A$ ]5 \5 obe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was0 _/ f+ O" g1 `" D
the other possibility.
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9 Y3 [/ N2 v Z' pAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English/ n* g% ^* o; E0 Q+ l& Q& H. O* b
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in8 l, F$ E% d5 S1 n# ?
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish"." v. F3 I6 c" t2 U- h
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
5 e# W7 p& u1 K4 C8 pthe sivil servants jump with joy.
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
* d2 V t. P0 x& B" K6 l/ D( Ukonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the8 g* f" |6 ?! Z1 y0 ]$ f
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
8 t( c* W, A0 O3 d. lfotograf 20% shorter.9 {0 ~* d$ W; x/ Y& e+ D5 E
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to3 ?% b L5 D9 }1 `* {9 L
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.& c }$ z) Q7 p* V# o) t4 _& n1 X# v% g2 H( g
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always- d& K: D* T. W2 m5 T6 j# I8 }
ben a deterent to akurate speling.4 k4 g& f) E" |$ O+ h' f! |
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
7 G! R! u$ G% w+ hdisgrasful and it should go away. C! Z2 b& h+ X9 B
4 a7 [ t7 P3 @+ OBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and" \. P; i, D& q) |
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.! D1 N* P6 E! t' X
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu) ? _2 c0 y5 f3 U9 U
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.5 x2 ]3 H/ o$ y* A" ~6 s, H' _
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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