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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
% h& i+ x- ?$ w& P* ^ X5 R( `) vbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was+ ?) w# Y# b; e% g
the other possibility., f% M4 f9 N! j6 _8 g8 q
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
3 o* |9 A1 y- x8 ~spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
3 S! S% V6 Z( xplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make9 P6 ~2 d8 A$ e' o3 |
the sivil servants jump with joy.
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G$ [+ ^; c: m8 JThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up. W7 U4 z% Y9 M7 A) J
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.. G ], x0 g E. I) i% W
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3 Z) H# r+ q( {7 L0 g1 a0 eThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
6 }2 Z1 @. Z: K9 U: h5 U/ Btroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
0 i3 m6 I8 |( ?# Jfotograf 20% shorter./ ~6 q r$ H: F& K4 d, ^& E, s
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to& }0 y9 b% `) O5 y5 E$ W
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible./ N/ {# k/ U1 d! L
1 V) R1 M$ u2 u7 i. \* B D7 ?$ SGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always- H9 u9 Q, _6 _! k4 U' F. o( a
ben a deterent to akurate speling.0 ~9 Y! [8 ^" u4 }; C |
& J3 }- G0 y1 K" |, k- bAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
5 n) d* i8 i4 N4 C% H7 Jdisgrasful and it should go away.2 a/ |5 u3 g2 \& `' q1 s/ ^/ K' |
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
$ Y' i0 u8 N9 O8 b"z" and "w" with "v".
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2 y n/ P7 M, M" g$ CDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
- \) o1 `( w0 K9 Z8 N7 {5 Jafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl." n. K1 o; d7 e0 @) I
+ j8 u* l0 s5 _0 d) K/ VZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
" s* _! U& ?! T+ tunderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
6 V/ a& x P/ XUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
" T; U5 M6 E) t$ v1 \0 j' Xforst plas.! y, }+ @8 G# J. u7 A& K' j
: g; t9 G6 y1 }7 e' P& j. d5 MIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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