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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
$ y# f9 {5 w- ~& T& c$ }. |9 Kbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was- T. b( p- N& d
the other possibility.: o; [% {. m* i. K* b
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English8 {8 C) u7 x# h1 H
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in, x3 K( B9 J; ?3 @' E5 T+ V t+ G
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".. q3 ]: b# C; K. y( P# n* G) P' l
3 W4 _% u- S8 r( S" aIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make# ]8 X: A H! O
the sivil servants jump with joy.
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2 R* c& h6 T; P( x4 s7 \The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up I; D5 f( e8 c% ]
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
h# Z1 g! \( Z! _ b9 D& x7 V9 s2 }& ~( i% t( @; G
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the3 y% p2 e- d6 V% B( g4 A/ z9 j
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
' y9 A& M! n2 x! b5 Kfotograf 20% shorter.
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$ L+ o% a/ K @/ P0 ^ S- dIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
o6 @# O7 h* G$ p7 J3 z8 ireach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.+ M, C/ M9 w( c- F6 M: s
z8 P, G7 t' S+ x( U3 qGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
- L) b! {+ n/ x v- ]ben a deterent to akurate speling.+ {0 Z2 F1 q7 t0 a; B
+ m1 n( B0 }- W& r$ K
Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
% I( P4 B# l1 \% K2 q ~& b! B9 zdisgrasful and it should go away.
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
0 t6 ~* ~) w0 X) g; r7 n( [$ F* c/ q"z" and "w" with "v".( w } h4 ?0 J
% I/ W: L6 E9 n3 ZDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
3 K$ z8 t6 v2 Dafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.8 g4 A6 t1 @7 L
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
& {, T. _( i8 runderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.' t- B W ]/ R
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
- M1 p0 Q$ e- j$ iforst plas.
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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