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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
9 i# l0 ?. s5 ~$ H7 Cbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
6 R, y6 Y B$ _( i- c# a- }4 Z0 Cthe other possibility.- e! B9 Y6 L& y6 S( d* s
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
& w l- m8 g& A5 Q7 x2 Fspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in& f Y$ u! K7 L& A1 T4 ]
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish"." i9 K; J( I7 G6 ?9 d
2 K* O; {: _* w0 t mIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
0 \, w' n8 @4 {1 b7 C( bthe sivil servants jump with joy." B1 x6 f2 O) }9 r! z) r( a. S% R
( T8 u2 Z7 @8 LThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
" y1 i4 B3 e" _. Mkonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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8 k5 s( j+ ^; _, l) T" LThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the# z' K, c9 o- B# X/ q4 X+ p
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
# K1 Y# z8 W e0 c, I) Hfotograf 20% shorter.
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
z8 { ?; X. e. {, c/ s. h8 G+ F8 |reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.+ ~' }/ z8 V3 s: z F4 r
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
$ M! Y" L: X) f, X7 U0 f( rben a deterent to akurate speling.
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) K+ z) S' G1 i; `& l$ t" E lAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is2 h0 _" l! K9 @5 j5 M
disgrasful and it should go away.; q P$ z* b9 F5 o9 [* M: F$ J
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with. _9 \% v# ], `1 L7 m
"z" and "w" with "v"." o& _& @; M6 y$ L' _ T/ u
* r r& k4 N: `$ vDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
" b' l$ M6 x- {9 q6 W6 s5 y" gafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
+ ? E' a4 b2 z! K6 n1 J1 dunderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
- x- I0 j+ d+ kUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
6 U `; d* j% N% Zforst plas.5 y" H [0 {; J6 Y$ {
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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