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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will( s, B5 O3 b# w4 }5 L$ r
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was/ a3 f7 H( `0 S4 l: H9 e, |
the other possibility.
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- S0 ^& w) v1 u. p3 oAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
; q/ K; j/ L$ X! U {9 ^spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in+ q& `6 S5 H' u3 G Q- E7 Y* D2 z
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make, x9 e4 }! F9 B6 n" m+ G7 r
the sivil servants jump with joy.
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$ g) M' T5 U$ {# ^* lThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
8 f0 j1 \+ F$ J0 Y0 Z z R; c' `konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
, K* W4 j# w6 G' s4 j4 j0 O8 h- utroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
7 t9 {* c5 _! }8 i* hfotograf 20% shorter.5 e0 S6 r, E% z
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to# R7 H. p; w' @9 x2 L
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.9 m) c1 l7 o' T" V7 H. p
/ Q. q; J. W% h) m6 T U; IGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always% e5 E! f- T/ U/ g6 F6 G
ben a deterent to akurate speling.
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% l1 c0 H2 T0 V E9 n. ^' SAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
F/ ?/ a0 v. E5 qdisgrasful and it should go away.
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0 [: t0 q& g8 Y" W( f7 ^& H/ JBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and% f& E. p9 U1 u: U/ u' U: i
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.+ e1 m' H* Y/ a2 X" e
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
* \% j; y. u) K- ~understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
, d' s T( n3 i( [6 hUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
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. B; v' [2 D$ f& yIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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