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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will$ ^% Q5 D7 g! r+ ?
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was1 H: ?9 ~' F! l
the other possibility.; W. J( b2 b6 M5 _% W0 r/ B
9 h1 K/ @, N% |$ TAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English; K0 T7 |1 H6 X: C7 p7 o
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
: i8 n2 `0 c0 g" X# |3 ] ~5 lplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make: w* `, A* z7 \4 j, _9 v {0 `$ i1 Y
the sivil servants jump with joy.4 S( ^6 s* n; A/ F
2 M8 ?8 i, s2 w- u# PThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
$ x' h6 [/ ^. [6 `, E. ?konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.* {; W( M" ~$ \, n0 `3 V
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: Z; U" o" U* x4 R2 `There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the8 M; U# Q- ]% V: A
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
3 I3 t& g# U2 I% x- n0 Rfotograf 20% shorter.
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to5 O! Q- {7 c- }" o0 J
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.8 @# S7 e( b3 ]( o
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
7 g/ r' |, s: n' @9 @ben a deterent to akurate speling.
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
3 ^& `, w$ p& P# Z- ?$ mdisgrasful and it should go away.
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& Z& r6 \ y* I" lBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
5 v" G% K( L7 i5 [' b% i+ T"z" and "w" with "v".# O* i" Z9 j: K
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
$ d5 H- a- o j/ Q! }- tafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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- p" g& K8 L, j# z+ y: zZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
0 C' O/ i# S( A5 S, p5 L# Bunderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
# y# { J5 i ]2 B" lUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
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: ^, F4 e3 t1 j- ]If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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