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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
% I8 }" I% t$ @* {$ X0 tbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was4 a( k/ h/ m( v5 c% M
the other possibility.
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English. Z9 m: n |. |3 ^: p
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
; p* k' V- o2 tplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make4 E5 v/ t r! F# x+ v
the sivil servants jump with joy.
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
* }7 }4 `5 c1 M+ C& ~; b: @* r, J2 Lkonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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& i, c8 u. u7 k; Y, wThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the3 R4 h5 ^ A' B4 C
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
; j6 X3 U* d2 b9 J8 Z+ v1 efotograf 20% shorter.: x, r; L3 k& O+ ~
) T# v7 U: _. F8 K$ JIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
& B6 V2 K; K1 V- a; hreach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always u: u r& z0 s4 k* |. U& U
ben a deterent to akurate speling.. ^- E4 k. v) J$ M
% P w1 Y/ N% h; u( J2 h8 Y! HAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is1 W! M9 ]! \6 m5 T4 H
disgrasful and it should go away.; Y$ L5 H+ e a, A6 D l, ]
* H2 O3 K9 X$ R1 S, j i9 B, o# kBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
8 R" {, G$ y! V! y' U; _! K"z" and "w" with "v".
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8 A& [. ]1 Y- z* a% Z/ vDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
0 a! Q& O+ o% J0 D1 Tafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl., p. f3 _0 s" t0 U( O) J2 o
e ^1 U7 H2 q+ a/ g% |. J) N4 \Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu/ k+ S0 s' L: ^9 _9 S
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.0 M7 k0 g; j8 B( b# i* a
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
4 I9 s7 L$ O1 E) c& T( R0 q }1 Eforst plas.
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8 m4 |8 D% \2 o) m2 s4 kIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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