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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will* O3 z1 ^: H5 ^ j! D2 F" v8 H
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
8 T7 ~2 w" u$ z9 p* Pthe other possibility. {. g. Y. B& z# ~
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English8 C* L" z' y( `) C1 q, {
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
( E) H0 W! e* ~5 S5 bplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".$ n* }. r: v' _* `6 i+ P
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make0 s2 g; j' N6 |3 \. H. _
the sivil servants jump with joy.
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/ }" h2 M9 y N- l! @The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
" H. h3 s- [! c" J, Ikonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.0 |+ U& v0 ]# E5 M
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" a+ W) Q" j2 ^There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
2 L' K$ ]- l7 e1 {troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like! z1 y/ @ t0 {% W8 W
fotograf 20% shorter.. O) d- N, J- [
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to4 j- P; ^( _- r7 ]
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always) \- [0 j9 I: m- s$ | ~
ben a deterent to akurate speling.7 [/ b5 [4 {) r( q/ u$ F
) U( V4 @ C& ~$ \8 m. @Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is7 v0 \5 a! s- {2 q
disgrasful and it should go away.5 Z- R4 [# z7 L0 t. V/ T+ z0 d+ U
; Y6 H3 N; J) u; G, u" @By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with% h' i2 ?! K2 T- ?- |
"z" and "w" with "v".
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1 P% U$ f9 l/ m, D. EDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
! T. J2 G+ |7 W+ n: M7 `after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.) K1 s5 ~+ r! W0 R7 l8 L; c
8 s: k6 k1 |- J7 l, o6 [) l) DZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu/ [- _% f3 \1 M2 U
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.. F! G" e6 ?' `) s. S3 E# i0 Z
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze7 d3 g+ d2 X- ~9 ^& E5 X" ]
forst plas.
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8 z! {8 [& r* ~4 J5 u& v7 oIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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