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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
8 e1 F6 F# X/ vbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
$ h4 R, v4 J! tthe other possibility.
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$ {- H1 @/ S0 UAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
6 J( |) l* W6 ospelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in' o/ ?$ W1 x) h- q3 v4 h6 d
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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& _% g$ Z1 V6 HIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
9 J$ }' T: x! D4 Nthe sivil servants jump with joy.
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up: _+ a: @2 J, p: |* k* v* S n
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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9 |' G) M) m5 e# k! N; p( r1 GThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the5 v* l; {) M6 E4 q
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like$ h6 I O6 l! {" r; _) D+ X
fotograf 20% shorter.
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- [# q s- h* `" ^8 W5 M; [0 d$ FIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
7 }) g/ B: w( Z. t+ vreach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible." ?2 @ a1 c4 r- }3 w
6 x* m7 R1 ~4 @, ^' s. [Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always0 H$ r! c1 E- P
ben a deterent to akurate speling.7 C# \$ L8 V% D" e( ?% V2 n% ?4 v
+ o" O3 X' E3 g: W; n) kAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
* c6 \2 x% R# vdisgrasful and it should go away.
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4 K' b1 K- x$ {5 P7 J1 j$ ?2 S+ |- oBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
P$ j# P6 K8 G0 {( ["z" and "w" with "v".
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* R- i# P0 R! r# j. [$ l$ x7 oDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
8 ~- V( \6 F: n* E) R$ R# U; _after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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# I2 `( z$ ~) p" gZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu6 U( Q& h( a' M3 H, w
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
1 p5 p# v9 F9 M) J; |! wUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze# J6 ^- L6 t) c2 T/ T
forst plas.1 Q0 B' V. n; H1 E% x
+ M3 n& ]* \+ w7 UIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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