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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
! _1 W$ z E' A2 L$ M. Xbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was T! f/ l% [2 _1 W% e
the other possibility.7 o5 |+ ?- B3 \( V& I2 J, L
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
# x4 Z% t: L# e( a$ ?7 Z( Aspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in2 Z" [* F6 F+ T; A; N7 }1 C0 w! H
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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, k5 e0 F- y8 P" D4 f! V0 P% YIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make7 V/ k( l/ |% m5 H
the sivil servants jump with joy.
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
! ~1 R7 A- h0 Y; G% dkonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
: d2 S% h3 c' d& xtroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
) N4 Z( Z- M) D( q1 t" \) d" efotograf 20% shorter.
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
) e; Y! `. m! e" _3 d1 Freach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.* p9 F! L) e0 m. ]) v9 w! ^
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always, q: U- T) W' B4 w C
ben a deterent to akurate speling.
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2 p2 l$ i8 C' U6 I, N6 eAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
) {+ D. P) K& N5 cdisgrasful and it should go away.
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0 T- f- j/ q- a# lBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with& p5 y4 r6 s9 C( R( ~+ ?
"z" and "w" with "v".4 W( W ?' H/ K0 c8 {5 j3 M
8 v* T* u, e. [8 P7 o NDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
1 Z7 E9 Z$ }' I' u1 H# U/ ?after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu' `4 q! w5 {* M; b' K
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
6 v% c2 G( u! {6 aUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
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' p8 B# j3 @: JIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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