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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will5 k& T' W8 y; L% E @& e8 I- u
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
4 Q+ \( R# \$ e vthe other possibility.
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English( N5 i! I* `/ z5 ?4 E
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
' y/ A: V& n+ {. \ |& xplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make* j: ]) \3 F3 k
the sivil servants jump with joy.8 b* f$ S% ?( [9 n/ s
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
$ \9 D( r( @( W, ykonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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+ m2 P1 \! _% z/ cThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
9 Y2 o# | }7 c3 utroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like/ k9 Q/ K% [9 g" ^* z' T5 c+ x$ \- r, J
fotograf 20% shorter.
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" A- D- S9 ~" t. s, I6 OIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
* m5 |+ K# f! z( F% Creach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always) @9 B! E( q) M8 G
ben a deterent to akurate speling.
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is# G/ n" |4 L% a; N) [# }
disgrasful and it should go away. ]& L4 u9 o' s" S/ D$ b
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
+ _0 O8 W# ]: ?7 e0 \1 X/ {"z" and "w" with "v".
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1 ?- g/ L3 | C' q% sDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
9 }1 U( S' W% Mafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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4 J- B: H( X2 q# Z; N( jZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu9 u, T+ t6 |: W; O$ t( p+ P8 \
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
! \& O( a& }8 M: j: F2 M/ lUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze) z! X( R' z6 r1 L% h
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+ y! {# z6 O" O$ {. r7 V4 ^7 ~If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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