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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will/ _; F, }# | y) x# j% Y( H" \$ s' A
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
/ Z' g" q- M. M7 I& l7 K1 p" z' R& lthe other possibility.: C# n [; N+ i2 I
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English1 H/ s( g( V) R1 I- B2 Q6 \
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in! r# j+ j5 t ]0 M0 l
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make y) u3 o" ?7 E
the sivil servants jump with joy.
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
1 R a" S% q' v3 Lkonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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6 A0 Z' }% S& q2 uThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
5 J' W) E, G: k" S7 ftroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
- Y0 s2 _5 M6 S* m# ^ C/ mfotograf 20% shorter.
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, e8 f8 r( O$ R/ w3 NIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
% j9 Q1 b* @0 ~; ]reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.& y& n4 ?/ Z H, h6 z
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always j; ]5 S5 [+ ^) |, {) o
ben a deterent to akurate speling.
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( l/ Y; C) Y! A# ^+ O1 [Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
2 R/ I- ~- E6 b2 w% Idisgrasful and it should go away.
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
! M7 W9 x3 A. Z- w1 Y% O- E, N( `& }" C"z" and "w" with "v".: N5 z/ a8 j% b% V* f' }& i
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and% g- h6 W( O7 e; P
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.2 Q( `2 @7 Q( v/ B: B9 I* D$ x1 t* ?
- s5 x4 E. z& [; {. PZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu: y# u9 s" k! p# \' {, g
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
}2 @. {# u2 k! eUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze! q: a7 G7 v! Y0 E
forst plas.9 _2 V- W+ X" n
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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