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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will% t. G1 G4 C0 X+ d, _0 w
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was9 ^; K' V' R1 x8 [+ T
the other possibility.
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$ L, _0 k2 Y+ u& \0 y2 W0 T CAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English8 Y1 `% T5 S2 ?1 v
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
. {& K$ B% }0 B5 Q0 p: t% T. |- _plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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& ]& ?6 [3 e2 ~; x7 K, yIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make6 t- E4 s" R% Y7 n1 \& ~! T% w
the sivil servants jump with joy. p" G$ `# @# G/ J' D& y
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
# J7 T+ ?( b3 n6 i( G: C& r, skonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the) B% O) f1 M/ y
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like j% u; X p4 t ?( @' I* g* K t, r7 \
fotograf 20% shorter.
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
4 i) \+ O$ V, L" Z% K5 Oreach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.; |8 y3 Q% o+ R4 n
+ Z/ P* v$ u' \% wGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
: @! D, d, e1 f* z# z- n0 kben a deterent to akurate speling.- _5 F; h8 ~5 p# I5 C4 K e
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is' R0 P: N/ R+ `* o3 @$ W' y$ p
disgrasful and it should go away.
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with1 C1 Y' Q6 o6 ~ r
"z" and "w" with "v".3 y6 h' R1 @) V. z4 k7 V
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
! O9 \6 p/ @+ ^1 U& Hafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu# V9 V: I. H* u* L, m/ a! t2 x
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.; }* b; E' i( Y3 j- q5 y9 S
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
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% I+ A1 W) C# F4 T6 X* a4 |If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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