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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will, p- X. O% o( u# k
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was" h5 y( e+ |9 O, N( ^6 X. E
the other possibility.. @( Q6 i" S! W* E$ {7 w) U
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
) R3 H# M7 \# Zspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
; X8 H1 o+ U0 S0 T4 r: O; Qplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".5 _! Y# g, f4 H: L2 [& U
$ ], q- n9 U/ y/ V- m! d- `In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make* L( G- S: Q# i6 _& f
the sivil servants jump with joy. W0 i* X- m' }8 t( ^/ y
& j; t) j+ l0 r5 U# GThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
3 n5 _0 I6 |: I& _( Q6 m pkonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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6 y3 {$ B3 g. S6 }# K5 pThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
- T* C, z( q+ U7 P3 Q% D, ?troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like2 `3 b; t! o/ r: l. S+ w, ]9 P
fotograf 20% shorter.+ c# O& l1 W5 A' A, K
( S: g- w0 i4 OIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to" A* U* d3 h- d
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.3 N T) j4 |9 y( ^0 u
/ i: D# r$ R1 G+ J7 KGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
/ }0 S* T0 F3 v; u5 jben a deterent to akurate speling.& A2 P4 _& L! h, B3 R% }' h
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is0 u7 H7 y9 c4 J, e! m8 V
disgrasful and it should go away.' j0 S4 d. d4 i3 F9 s( v
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
; Y" y+ X) C: @0 D9 n, k/ t"z" and "w" with "v"." }5 n4 x' }! [* |9 p# S1 C- _
& N! L$ f, C6 h. w9 RDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and0 x. o5 C+ F5 L X8 Z
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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# x* ^* E, G+ H: K( S0 l7 z+ WZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu5 K+ ]+ t9 J# r/ k$ X" |) W
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
6 R; h; o* {9 x4 x5 i2 ~. uUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
7 |6 G3 u& T& Z( U& Uforst plas.
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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