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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will, u( P c3 Y6 a$ W
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
* e9 P0 F; z- P0 q9 vthe other possibility.
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9 i3 J) r0 w& v0 l9 Z; c5 yAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
! G4 X' u+ J: P! u, e$ espelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
7 ^9 m$ E6 I9 n4 o0 }0 vplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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1 ]. q% x, g& ]In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
- s' Z+ f' Z. i& c2 a* K! J w9 Tthe sivil servants jump with joy.
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
4 ?/ ?" p; ]' }, n0 |& Hkonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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* w" y- B* s+ A, uThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the5 @* e& q6 F& B
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
( z: u* U8 S' [fotograf 20% shorter.
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; {- c3 k) R( s, oIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
3 Y/ u7 O8 k+ N/ xreach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
* q! m' U/ J2 p, A# r$ R9 a" \ben a deterent to akurate speling.
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
. G; }: y. \( \' Qdisgrasful and it should go away.8 D* W! o+ l3 q9 @- m3 b ^, p0 A
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
) @) T. s6 c# K/ v$ v( c"z" and "w" with "v".
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+ O/ G5 [4 W+ b$ e& ?) ^During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
# ~7 _3 G) e( n, V2 ^# C |after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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, U( b" M' Q" ^, U8 i, b* k" ZZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu# w& r! q! k7 _; J* [/ A I
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.) M( ~2 `) L1 d" X/ Z6 @- M! b ?
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
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% n/ [1 E5 G. W5 h! C9 h% h1 R$ |If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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