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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will- A2 h, P6 q+ _( E9 K. ~
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
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4 d" p# }+ `1 b5 Q. D$ LAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
?" z$ \5 n5 a+ Y, ]spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
; B7 Q Q9 Y# O! ?plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".# p/ ^) M8 A2 R7 U
$ T& J% T. b% e5 {In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make. e6 U: V* X, g! H9 N5 \" w4 f2 F" F
the sivil servants jump with joy.
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up, ~* |6 C' Q. R8 W
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
3 U, M9 K7 N4 e8 ftroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like+ C; ?; j# Q- Z
fotograf 20% shorter.) b! d: |8 K G: e
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to8 T. O# h- x ?. D9 G
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always a* R9 J; q# d/ s6 t
ben a deterent to akurate speling.# `+ i1 u8 I* O1 n: r1 ^) X
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
. r: X7 T# X0 r$ G- _' H0 adisgrasful and it should go away.
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
( M! B2 }$ \) |% K- ?$ s"z" and "w" with "v".0 ~7 s" j+ z% ]
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
$ N8 P- |- l0 B9 @( `after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.8 o4 c% t+ U- P1 _ H# o
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu/ l6 r! z' |& U1 w _' m! _
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
/ c: x9 n+ _6 y8 G: @( q1 J# vUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
6 I6 \" D/ c' g$ }1 gforst plas.
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# t/ ?: M/ Y% E" n- oIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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