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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will8 G% j0 g5 U. s* X- a
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was& }3 M$ r1 r: t7 U; {! f0 Q
the other possibility.
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
1 C8 e2 }" J0 F; |! @spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
+ d( f5 s+ q; ~. l8 aplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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; D5 @ S& A# M" k, hIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
2 l7 Y: n* q4 r3 bthe sivil servants jump with joy./ k$ M( r2 E, t9 p) u
& M. c+ ?9 s3 J( L3 {9 cThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up: \+ f% |/ s6 M% l+ X ^5 H
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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& A3 y* H2 B$ C7 x1 s$ V4 v& {/ xThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
% | H$ n( v8 w; l) Vtroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like) Y- R$ I# j, @
fotograf 20% shorter.
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9 n6 H' G9 ^; q( F: T) T* x, p- `5 uIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
( t0 U+ Z) H$ t" h3 n+ v2 N' Ereach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always0 T ^6 l1 E- e/ s j& c+ G
ben a deterent to akurate speling.5 @+ Q5 y4 k# n
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
" ?; A$ n f8 \disgrasful and it should go away.& [5 u+ }8 l+ k! q
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
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u8 f- z o, O% O8 ~During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
5 X3 ^( X t1 Y5 v8 C. V: u* O0 [$ Jafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
) |0 A- F" {' ^understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
1 @. c5 ]; |$ A8 A& O6 E" HUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
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; r, m% J+ K! a# f+ K( T9 ]" jIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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