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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will5 c; C* n! M& x/ n2 l1 w. f
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was+ P( L# S, c/ `2 _. i5 x& \
the other possibility.
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English/ e. k1 K1 y4 o) n( i5 F
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
5 X8 A, W6 o$ F G* g: {plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".$ `; u, I. L2 F' }# n* [# V9 E
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make' K* h+ s. Y! p1 ^( _6 R
the sivil servants jump with joy.
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
l3 k3 ~1 F' o9 {4 u; Z" ?konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the- X! O% \& M* T' w
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
! w) C" o& q$ N7 g1 D& `4 Ufotograf 20% shorter.1 x' Z& S) w/ [. |6 |, e/ s
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
7 i e: Q8 V9 Q; G3 nreach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible., o. a& U @: g1 J' S
# n& N. ^! R: q q1 KGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
' g f9 y3 N9 u% n1 d, eben a deterent to akurate speling.1 v n4 N0 Z2 \- b
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
# S, e$ m3 \ _3 [) Idisgrasful and it should go away.* i/ q+ h5 }) n" b9 g8 t9 {( s! ]
/ W3 y1 {; I2 Y- M: v1 IBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with, l7 j6 S- B3 N) k1 `# L
"z" and "w" with "v".: a0 E" D3 O6 M1 C9 e
6 a0 L0 f0 C1 |6 dDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
3 N3 s1 _7 C- D* J* kafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
5 h* A( L- K& ~0 Punderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.6 l2 t. U# w% J
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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