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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
2 d _6 B0 X* p. F8 ^be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was6 o5 h# e: ?4 b, H0 J
the other possibility.
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
4 y) _: S4 A7 {" d' L0 z) gspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in% Y$ Y0 o, x0 ]8 H8 s4 h
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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* q' p0 m' H1 V5 D# T4 wIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make4 R- O* c3 a) R) x
the sivil servants jump with joy.
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up1 z6 U, W1 v' S4 W J# b! ~
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.; k/ p Q, m0 q5 F( z% X8 f
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0 F/ M3 Q" X) x9 n+ C2 b. WThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
0 g0 x+ K+ _- E5 w5 c+ Btroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
* W! o, Y2 _( n. Cfotograf 20% shorter.
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
& s1 c6 |& ]/ z& T) A( wreach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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6 H- B% ~* Y: e) \! \5 IGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always5 R( t' l' y. `0 B; ~5 f2 p
ben a deterent to akurate speling.
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
! l* ~1 J# H) A. ^. c' W, [0 edisgrasful and it should go away.& g) d) x1 J' b/ e
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
5 F8 Z1 T$ Q7 ~- m( {4 ~+ ^"z" and "w" with "v".1 ? p9 \ e1 r; T+ Z
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
1 S6 U" c* K/ F- ?* `after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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% j: b% b* {3 ]Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
2 K6 c8 p4 `% u2 I% [5 I& T# sunderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.! @& o# l4 E% W" a
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze2 y9 v j" s2 E! J- F& o
forst plas.
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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