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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will* n) S* |" f, N- i- X: m& D3 | [* B
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was. d! i1 Y2 q) B( O" Q
the other possibility.
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- b' u, ^" A% aAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
( K9 v5 j; [' N/ f& jspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in/ R, X: B! m6 z% e8 m
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make1 y6 j/ }( u, e, ?7 P1 o' @
the sivil servants jump with joy.7 q& M: V, k) X4 O; N4 K' f" c
3 R9 s3 c i$ l# `5 r5 mThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up* d2 e2 O# _0 V( [1 j" m
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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$ J4 x# x: ~. q2 H# O& NThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the9 B; W1 G+ o; Z8 ]3 u+ x3 P
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like- f4 ? B! ^% J G+ L
fotograf 20% shorter." Q8 t, z2 _9 d2 U
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
& d/ G& s/ e( {/ breach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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6 j5 P0 h+ e8 O/ ~% m' z8 M) w5 {6 mGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always+ u3 ^) W% [: l1 `
ben a deterent to akurate speling.
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" Y) S& l* B+ J# M3 bAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is9 F* `& R. j q, C
disgrasful and it should go away.
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with' o/ u. l) q. z- _
"z" and "w" with "v".
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and0 M# e3 {7 ~- l8 h0 L" a6 c2 a
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.' e, G7 _+ ~# R7 B; a2 W2 _
% x4 @% y5 J* H2 z" i5 W0 N; wZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
, Q1 J& Z; M* wunderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
5 k. b( v7 O7 D$ G4 ~0 X# E$ [Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze y0 D! a' z% z" M' L2 p1 W3 Z* ?. d
forst plas.
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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