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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will- r! H. Z& o8 S: B5 F; b0 W) O
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was; _1 t- ]6 `, U2 S$ q
the other possibility.
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
( q8 w: l2 w& j3 Hspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in$ J4 i- H( x: T7 v5 L7 o e
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".9 }4 e, b1 h3 u% r/ U2 ^! U
; p2 \5 D3 u6 P: J7 V4 M d6 dIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make/ m r: ?" ]: b# V
the sivil servants jump with joy.
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( g/ V, ]# x7 U. R2 Z: BThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
* y2 H5 k0 f3 K, Q; I: i. ~& Fkonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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0 X# r7 y$ ]1 f f9 F( sThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the' ]- U" k" [% S: L9 h
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like4 ^# W3 l; x0 i. [7 a# ?
fotograf 20% shorter.
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to$ m" S5 `4 H8 P; X/ W
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.- h6 `, C! x" Q$ F" h3 X7 {
) Y8 ^) l5 v0 n0 bGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always3 W- L3 s) T% b2 h0 C9 Q& Q2 y# H
ben a deterent to akurate speling.
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
7 v& [9 Z0 k! b$ V6 d6 cdisgrasful and it should go away.4 E% j" c; W; ~, c
, N/ N" I5 f. H& h/ w" A F! w* BBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
6 u) D: f# w3 J. j; ~+ {6 J"z" and "w" with "v".: I$ B) Y* w* Z$ l7 ~5 H4 Y
1 b# b+ X7 o5 H H D9 H3 G" U2 nDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
' B2 l% Q4 X% a) Cafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu9 d7 v) e: P% w( c
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.# H$ S' p6 z3 J O0 X
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze% K* @' S+ A2 {* b2 P, O8 t r
forst plas.# I9 D# d- }* p' N) j6 b# C
@6 j2 J% c( b4 W. J6 i YIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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