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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
0 U4 F' C: d2 R3 v* Z$ u9 q& L6 ^& Fbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
3 E2 j# m; a2 N, O" Dthe other possibility.
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/ r$ U# \7 L$ j+ S- `- @! `As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English6 z2 l/ }6 F$ ]5 S$ x3 f
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
, }! J* l4 K* a. w3 {plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".( t6 M* F3 C7 B p r
" l9 N! ^. y1 N: ~" DIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
; I: @" {/ [: ] z t2 j' e8 Sthe sivil servants jump with joy.
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& `7 T# z U' _* q% P/ {: ? B* TThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
$ d; H2 O0 [9 u1 H% O6 l5 Gkonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the% W7 c! ^; r+ v3 j( J6 S# N
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
; A0 a0 ?2 N& Sfotograf 20% shorter.
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R& p" B5 X5 {- \In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
( S0 V7 l* w9 {) M, G% \reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.: H, i( _5 _/ W* y
1 A: r9 b8 N" {% F1 `2 l- x% uGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
* q& [% {/ Y0 p1 M3 Y6 mben a deterent to akurate speling.% l6 M" m1 }0 y- m% R
% g& O8 \7 n7 z7 ^& s
Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
7 o* D) R0 }: O+ V! V- ]1 ydisgrasful and it should go away.
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* i8 y; P' N! \* m- cBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with8 g& [+ b X% S6 C
"z" and "w" with "v".7 q, l3 n: U, R7 F5 r/ G7 @/ k
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and2 g4 A" l9 d1 |$ ^, L) n
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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" h, e6 ?1 l# Z V6 rZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
6 Q3 |7 j/ Y8 dunderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.& b) F& L2 {* s4 l- y3 F+ k7 N- N
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze: `6 U5 V- j. q
forst plas.! u# w, Y7 v [
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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