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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
. E- z4 X4 I+ h$ ^# _) ]$ Zbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was5 \1 T" e# n% k# J" P' x: R
the other possibility.& W7 h/ j" D& { p$ u" u7 n# w
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
/ K0 E6 `- Z* h" ~1 e0 R: aspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in8 Y" V- m& }, P( j9 K
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish"./ z) c* `& b( E3 O
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make" v! w$ g; d" W0 A( ~4 O# i
the sivil servants jump with joy.
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
1 V; D7 n7 N# r. Fkonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.& S9 j3 v# ^/ p' f6 u
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& q# @! d% A+ W2 W! R, {7 W4 _There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
. O* V s5 e/ \" {+ Atroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like* ?; g+ {! U0 P& o# Z& P8 @8 A5 _
fotograf 20% shorter.3 T- o2 E q/ ?9 ?0 v& _
1 z* ~8 |9 }% ~) z; g* yIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
" _- a( ]' n# ~4 Q' Z* xreach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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/ n) y* v; r- gGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always1 C5 f# ?5 ] [1 E! ]# z
ben a deterent to akurate speling." o. m1 [) V) `% k& s4 l$ Q g& p
; R" R4 H- @, T7 u2 e* [Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is8 ^5 h1 ^0 h4 A1 O' X( N8 h
disgrasful and it should go away.% ]; i6 k' X# f* R3 N1 m) o
( G$ q% q# D* B! |2 ~; C. S- W: RBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
" w: c1 `+ n0 W9 `0 x"z" and "w" with "v".
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- p% [3 f8 I- s8 mDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
# W1 N8 v9 J, u4 \; ? Aafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl." X' D) U" Y0 M# Q, `
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu ]2 C/ D3 H/ \' V8 ?
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.5 p, ~" L) p6 w7 L7 ^
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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