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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will. A8 ^* Z9 S, a" h+ ?+ B% g
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
7 a( O' p+ f- o% Y+ O. s- V7 Sthe other possibility.
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English: ^% D' p+ Y( ^8 s% U
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
9 `1 |4 l J B% A+ uplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".0 {4 u; ~, g$ A! G& s
: |) b/ w; P4 c; B9 aIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make7 \+ V0 x8 a4 W! u8 q" _
the sivil servants jump with joy.
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: z5 j, f7 x2 H' C' ]5 i* _The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up: b7 R6 Y" T" I6 C
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.& m+ e- t* A& u" ^3 I4 J
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$ ~4 ^. @% t& b1 c/ RThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the1 g% i7 j" ?% q8 I9 v) `
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like1 h% O8 z! I3 s! s
fotograf 20% shorter.
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- K- `8 A; [" bIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
- ~4 A" j+ J3 R. x. V6 ~. C2 Q0 _reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.1 Z) m: t5 \( h* g
( w+ w& z; p1 V! t" a+ aGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
, x# D N1 ]; }( O2 Xben a deterent to akurate speling.
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3 D p3 a4 y4 q# A7 s( s3 ~Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
( m) s+ X7 i" x! E# C/ qdisgrasful and it should go away.
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with" b9 N6 Y' [, ~
"z" and "w" with "v".2 W; [ K G8 b9 m" l- r
/ _- t; t9 J' I; m# DDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
! i& }) R0 w- K# Dafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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- N+ y8 ]. g6 Q5 T* p/ L+ B1 GZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
6 h5 N7 x9 q* y' T* e( A) Funderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
; J) Y* K: U+ i( w1 zUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze3 F; N2 n% M, w
forst plas.9 f# X: W" i! W6 M% x
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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