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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
& [0 ?4 D( n$ a+ b; K" jbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
, ~1 N/ I( g: s9 _the other possibility.
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English5 F' M3 u2 r0 w- I, T
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
* i+ A, H/ p) o0 p' t: Iplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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9 }7 y/ d7 C* [% }( aIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make# k$ G7 K8 Y: S7 U' ?; e7 K9 r
the sivil servants jump with joy.0 \4 I6 M0 F3 O
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
( a' q7 G9 u$ A+ s! o* vkonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.. c: x! [# v8 m4 c6 o
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; u. F* H+ Q2 N3 g sThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the8 i& Z2 m" q# w; i: @( d
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
( y3 w$ x; S/ i- hfotograf 20% shorter.& v4 V4 m1 _1 }2 z4 N, w& h* M/ i
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to+ e" h* E$ D6 O J4 K: {9 D6 F
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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i/ ^7 E7 O% c: {Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always9 @% ]; B c7 J
ben a deterent to akurate speling.
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! \+ E( X$ ]0 |/ k8 C* WAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is# C9 @6 I5 C' F p
disgrasful and it should go away.4 ` ]: W m$ k& D9 K
( ?4 s* x% X/ S0 p0 C3 X8 n& IBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with, m, u" W3 K- i' j9 u) z1 M# [5 G
"z" and "w" with "v".) _7 V% C. F3 a6 {7 ]8 W
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
2 |9 v0 |3 { i5 _6 ^5 xafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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' c4 D# M% t+ G& D% e& F' oZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
: z( H3 j* U9 P; _! Runderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
; \8 g7 P3 m$ bUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
. u4 G/ L1 D9 f0 qforst plas.
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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