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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
7 H# ^3 U7 `7 i* N6 i" f# l) Qbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
, N S3 l+ x5 o1 {7 f+ p$ q3 V* Pthe other possibility.
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- C7 n5 R( K' [' eAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
4 d" `) t! D6 l cspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in) k2 T( h" ?* L1 ^; S
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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0 v; `( S" q$ O+ ~In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make/ T9 l0 {8 q$ Q f# G6 {
the sivil servants jump with joy.% |) S1 c0 S, b8 [
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up+ F$ z" T6 f" Z& r4 m
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.3 U: ~: i. F) s" N x, W- h7 z! L
& F+ i8 n$ V& U7 } I& B7 Y
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the. L4 u+ p! x5 `, W
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
; t( I' G" l R1 \& x5 `3 U1 }fotograf 20% shorter.' M3 ~! c; _0 W7 \# [! H
$ H3 q! U: j7 n$ h/ c# D' V( w' b( cIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to2 X" d* W0 n: B" M+ |
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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4 q7 M/ D, T" A& g: r% EGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always t5 `& G! q2 h& O3 E# W2 S
ben a deterent to akurate speling.6 V8 e B4 x. A2 S* j
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
' d: r- h2 s3 u/ D8 c: }disgrasful and it should go away.
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4 T$ i, z. G1 k, {) R4 l# BBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with& l& E/ C" |$ n6 A
"z" and "w" with "v".$ Y; ?! Y* A/ u# T( m$ R8 O% A4 E1 T
4 D) S. @1 {3 p- S7 p; k. L* h3 x; yDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
$ }* q" W" j9 F3 Mafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.$ W' B L; {2 U7 K* _2 q
/ P. U, }+ K& DZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
8 n# H, G3 m- ?( S. Zunderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.; j1 {) p. T0 e' K: E
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
6 H4 ^: q$ @# T+ u9 u* n/ pforst plas.
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$ r0 M. O) V" XIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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