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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will6 m: s" M# S$ z1 {
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
# ? t' W: K! Z! h; ?the other possibility.4 r% U( H* q9 |* z# e9 k0 ~
6 E$ f3 r1 e4 T, @) c! EAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
2 r& ?% k; P& ]- A: t0 Tspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
" a- i! V6 Z* w" s6 uplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
9 O O2 c$ R6 `' C* f+ athe sivil servants jump with joy.
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3 d5 _" K( e# c7 k# p5 WThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up6 x- K$ u4 t# v0 e( T5 C% g6 [9 v
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.! @2 S' r& ^! m: [) [# y0 K
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
: b6 U. }" u# b* m$ H% Q- d5 H4 atroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like, d! [# K) l( h0 g' D# E8 J
fotograf 20% shorter.+ M3 `) w; S" l' \# U, u
# f: `9 k, v3 o( k' @
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to: v; [4 h( ~, W4 B) }
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always0 N$ ~1 k: F# Q* |( u
ben a deterent to akurate speling.4 {) W. ]" i5 j! R
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is5 ?) j; t0 I N+ k1 w7 F; p2 f
disgrasful and it should go away.8 @9 C+ S' A' ~" Z' m* U
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
6 d9 q3 t" B1 e"z" and "w" with "v".# |8 \# g0 P ]$ f1 t
) S1 C4 d% Y0 bDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and0 B/ Z, b$ m. X; _. L1 @9 i
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
X' ?2 r$ U! K6 gunderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.: q8 ]: z+ l+ W; Q7 o5 z: N
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze* L k8 u# a# _7 K% [+ Z/ M; d3 O
forst plas.( Y2 I3 t: q0 e2 w9 `1 \. [
( U2 q6 e; h, YIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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