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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
0 w) |1 [& ~3 e. Ebe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
o1 F; I% U5 c/ F$ ~the other possibility.
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English# b- ?9 @0 f' c1 r- f
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
! Z" h/ ]( ?! ?1 [7 A0 E. z5 Iplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".) j7 O# p; h' i( E
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
) W# Y) M9 A$ G! _7 Othe sivil servants jump with joy.
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
& b& ]- o$ p _& ?8 H9 L* Kkonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.* D6 m0 f% L; L, a/ V4 s
6 x: }1 d% u6 M- R5 @; K
# f9 W5 `7 k; h z
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the/ n$ b7 D* U% q/ I
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like2 n: ]. M8 S9 j
fotograf 20% shorter.; ?4 d" A) U+ h. l
* T; J" u' J+ j$ ]In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
8 K1 U G8 v& l2 n* o8 Xreach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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7 z [* M+ M) R# b/ \/ I. k m/ QGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
3 }$ [% J* x9 y- w; Qben a deterent to akurate speling.
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is; T- t0 j6 Q% Z- H8 j6 n
disgrasful and it should go away.
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S! g6 R1 Q2 K3 ?& DBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with6 `7 A4 J! J6 c/ j; [3 t1 J: e
"z" and "w" with "v"./ ^2 C. n% l$ ]
! Q3 p% X: U0 YDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
) l: J# z. J& `' |! l" S Gafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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' p, i. t- y% y# ]1 t. f% oZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
" m! o1 ?5 R, R/ y% C: s1 L$ l# Munderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru. Y I. t9 a5 q
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze# K! _9 P; i- L/ [: g( y/ D1 g
forst plas.
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. X$ |+ n# f5 m4 t1 _- RIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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