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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
7 }! `, ^( r, \" B5 A1 ebe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
" ~6 q \4 T8 g" e' Fthe other possibility.: c: J4 Y6 `% e( _8 A7 P
3 x1 C X+ J; ~7 X3 W) x5 a, j VAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
+ m* B- e9 A, `4 v* xspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
- Z8 P& `5 k" O/ u) F* p5 cplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make A8 v+ W Z. j9 r \
the sivil servants jump with joy.: h: x+ J: _0 |5 B; z( w
# K( P2 N& D3 W4 jThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up0 l* c5 S8 y$ c4 T( j+ Q$ a; ?' |
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.% @6 Y) _5 ]& w: r4 }! ~
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the5 R4 C, H! H. j$ j2 Y* P
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like1 ]6 P+ b6 h) w! Y. S0 I
fotograf 20% shorter.7 J% z: D: A( G$ G" w
& h- z9 Z. O# ZIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
u% C( i9 O! O3 ]( y2 `8 Treach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.- z4 I2 d5 @/ x7 G8 W& _
! i. u# F' S! W2 {2 |. wGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always2 w, f( a9 b! s
ben a deterent to akurate speling.6 e. f( Q8 b6 s6 Z
2 s; ]' W5 P2 T- u9 [4 B. ~Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is0 e8 i9 m4 j2 d) F* g
disgrasful and it should go away.
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with3 _% Q- v5 W/ n% {' N- Y
"z" and "w" with "v".( B: R% ?& C) ~. u5 }1 M1 g
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and) w8 S& r: U. o6 b7 j6 D7 q {) d
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.; @" s* n7 I& K. } ]
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu, }/ A" L5 t, ^* m& b" N9 r% \ q( l
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
3 G- V4 H4 b% U) I3 J9 s$ a$ ~Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze" o, [0 \0 D7 J' O
forst plas.% h) F# R) N( w$ m
& k# F# M* W2 L' C AIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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