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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will* d* |) ?3 z( f' p
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
8 e& ^* p. X% J' a4 D& cthe other possibility.
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
8 _ C" x% k- {6 d, ospelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in' b! D( L8 ^' h6 {
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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2 X* T0 Z; a* B1 C* J( v/ uIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make i$ S- t$ u; c/ |" _0 Z
the sivil servants jump with joy." G9 o# B# N8 Y" f
2 r4 _% |0 \8 BThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
- u4 u* `5 _8 n; D rkonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.5 y: W4 ^8 `: e9 V9 G9 c
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8 b! ?$ [" t" I: b5 O) NThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the& i4 _" s+ J( l( `5 S
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
7 E" `: ^9 X6 c _fotograf 20% shorter.
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. i3 p5 M4 [6 | t' Z% \0 b( OIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to5 x9 g2 ~% f" A9 v% r' Z
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.0 B# D3 l% M c" I5 R
1 |9 i( j, w( b0 k1 z9 C. lGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
% b$ H1 W1 V5 E3 G q xben a deterent to akurate speling.6 j: `% i2 D/ _% D& D* z
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is7 s! ~( U4 h. T# W; e3 n" _+ X
disgrasful and it should go away.
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7 @$ N1 U: D4 @6 D5 [By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with/ M( Y. b4 y# v1 w4 P
"z" and "w" with "v".
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and/ ~7 g2 }- S& C) v) O2 q1 q
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.# n8 I# c6 A7 D/ M1 k
) l D5 S0 p. [0 f" o' i {2 A; `, C- LZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
5 f8 I! `, O4 x" G% L( eunderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
: g1 m% ]" N& d+ d6 b* m1 \Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze6 V3 Z( ?; c9 x) C" A+ }
forst plas.1 ]5 t4 }+ k) I6 F4 ~, \
9 X( ?) I$ b+ V1 Y4 q' @/ hIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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