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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will0 S j3 t; z8 O7 ]" e
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was8 D4 k( v1 B0 [, l2 o3 O9 L, z. j9 P
the other possibility.! Z+ @: v% F! i; ^. a1 P
0 E8 ?' ]+ o& ]5 D) PAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English& e% D5 ]3 h [ l9 F8 E. T/ e1 X5 w# `+ {
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in' H$ n/ N. y; s, z- r, a/ U0 M
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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( u, r/ `4 ~3 ]+ t# GIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
) ?6 k* D; ] {; B, ]/ Dthe sivil servants jump with joy.( s+ c6 D2 T' b" Z
" e' X% Q' v/ r/ p5 ?9 [$ k
The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
& Q- s: F/ L" R( U) Bkonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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# I" A9 Q, b3 u) EThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
- N# D5 h, F0 P! q7 J9 k1 ^4 M( B) Ztroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
9 p1 m7 u9 ~0 Q9 s' e1 ?! Yfotograf 20% shorter.
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
+ r& N, S6 @$ {- j4 oreach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always: H$ }* K: ~" B2 B; O6 R+ j1 v
ben a deterent to akurate speling.9 `8 K' U# C+ t) M: _7 u
1 C, F* l3 E# D4 d+ jAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
% s5 v; _3 { ~3 y+ m, L; Pdisgrasful and it should go away.
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2 m+ e( P6 E" F* A! CBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with b1 i$ H/ U3 ~! n0 [0 S8 H
"z" and "w" with "v".+ d2 Y. o K0 [5 [
) I E$ K4 I8 _0 P5 c O' |2 VDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
7 p- l& h5 e R# J. Q8 bafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.8 T$ W0 [: ~& F R7 V* e9 B/ C
' h! c9 e6 t, T3 C2 SZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
, |1 e Q% c/ I7 n: Eunderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.0 T7 ]( k3 W u- I
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze" @8 u7 J/ ^& g$ c# H, s
forst plas., @" @8 P0 I) Z
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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