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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will3 `0 y8 {$ U: A# q1 n- a& r
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
* d4 I2 _6 a; U# a6 U' Uthe other possibility.
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V5 U( h0 d8 wAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
, g' Y/ `/ {4 |" O! f& Bspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
/ Q% G8 N& ]6 M1 A! r" ]plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".5 ^# S9 K+ o& Z8 ~% h9 \9 e
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make5 s7 v T/ d! w% k
the sivil servants jump with joy.2 w! E2 z1 e6 C8 _; s
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
- S& a5 u+ J0 a Lkonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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) X& s& }% O7 x1 DThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
9 n) ]! B6 _& V; {; x( I0 atroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like/ F" v+ ]: o- t @
fotograf 20% shorter.
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* U4 O7 G( |# S9 q. zIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to( d! N L! J2 N5 D4 `
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.; ~5 n4 ], q2 _5 ^* m0 ^! k
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always% f$ E- Y( ~5 @" @6 _- q5 X
ben a deterent to akurate speling.5 I' l p2 E8 c' b# ]' X, e
6 H0 @) A2 f- x, E' {& m# nAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
6 u- t$ g: \& A/ M) Rdisgrasful and it should go away.( s2 d. I0 ~/ R2 [
8 U8 [/ i3 K7 N- T% R: y) pBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with% _5 i0 o$ `! Q2 r0 U
"z" and "w" with "v".0 P( |+ O" k( M7 r, g: [
8 u4 e. q# P9 i! ?During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
" O/ b7 z3 ~$ w: wafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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' j7 Y2 M+ ?4 FZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu5 J# W3 s/ O m" e. F- f) U
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
/ h X: B' f5 d1 g% ~7 z7 HUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze6 b/ s% E9 {, W( m# D' e5 _
forst plas.* r5 E# w7 n* p8 K
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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