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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
1 W" @8 L' X0 Sbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
6 K0 z. H2 L q9 W5 W/ nthe other possibility.
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English! {0 z0 r& V" G& j9 I! w3 ^
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in6 `& s. V$ t% J+ z
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make. ~' F8 h4 i0 I4 ~2 O0 Y
the sivil servants jump with joy.
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) @. }' O6 W. k4 D* EThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
0 g6 r9 O5 F8 ~! @: ^; D0 Gkonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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: U- ]) h; d* {$ J5 ?( l/ G4 @7 uThere will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
; W4 B" l8 d: m1 Y" C3 ~' Dtroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like7 \+ ]2 X, @6 R3 j4 n! W% r+ H1 T
fotograf 20% shorter.
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to9 d# B8 }5 `2 c2 I5 O7 h
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always% S1 f( W0 H6 J1 O
ben a deterent to akurate speling.* H( W+ n* J6 \
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
1 w: y% q/ g4 E6 n. r" I/ Qdisgrasful and it should go away.
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0 {8 Y3 G% A9 J5 z' i# T8 y' ~% }1 mBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with- J9 j8 }4 l7 m6 Z
"z" and "w" with "v".
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and' q2 A, ?* q4 A$ h. M9 K
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl." B8 M- _1 {& u- C* V
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu. z* C' o# D, y1 N
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.7 U- S" s1 |3 o+ \
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
( _2 b- d* M/ `; H, eforst plas.
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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