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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
& C3 _/ g4 e% t( B9 L$ qbe the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was2 O8 E" S! f- A& D" N
the other possibility.
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English% }$ E9 | f) F5 U
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in* u- U6 s/ z8 }7 m- o* E- `2 J( k
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".! Z" B9 o. s }
2 d, h7 X; I1 n; g! D# vIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
( ]. s8 Y& j5 w2 gthe sivil servants jump with joy.
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9 {, i. o0 R @The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up. m6 p3 [ {6 X9 ]6 i5 Z* r) G
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.; Q% R& G$ p5 G* f7 D
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
1 U9 b7 d7 c( l5 g3 E2 R0 s1 \troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like+ J7 w* ]8 i9 ?7 U
fotograf 20% shorter.: x, E. B, E, T! F6 q3 [
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
+ ?- i3 |/ Y3 \" ?reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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! ? f0 m5 D0 y* }* b$ |7 aGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always/ d, b B' e* M
ben a deterent to akurate speling.
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is5 C# r z9 t. O9 `6 k
disgrasful and it should go away.* z& D' f3 n$ @! K
, h: o6 i+ I! c: g6 VBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
d- d! m/ x8 b3 i; R"z" and "w" with "v".
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' a; G' [0 Y5 P0 WDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and, v# S. t; W: l. L2 w
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl., T7 V+ l/ B8 d1 f6 L5 t2 P
8 C. j: G" w$ E! bZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
7 }0 M: @* E; x- [& Ounderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
1 x+ N4 S" m: D8 ]! [) ]; `0 j$ FUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
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! s% B: |! b* H% B: ?If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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