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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will" o r; i: X0 V$ y
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
) G" Q0 Z9 K! e8 I4 M2 o) }the other possibility.
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$ l9 I6 x2 R, B0 U+ zAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
- E3 X$ j8 N* V# g: R9 cspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in6 M4 @& f* n' \8 [9 T
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
; z: G. O* W7 \6 y3 tthe sivil servants jump with joy.3 z; \' [4 d/ c! E
! N; C m0 A- v( l- RThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up7 m& C$ F# Z0 U' [# |; t' I* n
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.3 t$ ]* @$ K5 g( e
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the$ h5 {7 Q9 L. F! W; q" u1 \
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like3 q: D8 R H: T. a3 e. n& q
fotograf 20% shorter.
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to+ X: [" h+ |! p+ K# h" \
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.5 n: W( {! Y+ n* A1 E' r
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
w0 r$ }& V6 uben a deterent to akurate speling.- @5 ?+ N+ E; s
7 F9 ^( o6 p& z/ p1 wAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
' }+ E1 B0 B. H5 m8 z- J& t% ydisgrasful and it should go away.
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) D4 Y3 R* d. R1 B+ oBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with) L! u8 F0 t- ?+ u0 m( x. v* U
"z" and "w" with "v".
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/ m2 R8 P, r5 p" d4 m( X) RDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
3 z% z q0 ?. K( `) u7 [+ ]after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.9 Y; g+ p M5 O+ U+ w7 I) @
+ R$ p u4 ~0 O9 O2 rZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
4 R/ e, s0 x( Z. `4 N' e' u2 Runderstand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
- M0 q2 c! W) X, o+ IUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze7 F# B2 f$ k4 z( j4 V
forst plas.
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2 |0 f3 G% x4 T( h+ `/ O% vIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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