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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will! i$ [: p6 F' \
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was& l, d4 v; Z5 c h: X
the other possibility.: |- G: R* J. `/ l" B' t) `8 |/ ~
9 O( {8 s5 ] |' U0 L8 IAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
$ {0 Q0 `8 F3 O/ Q8 p$ gspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in0 j: m% t9 W2 a: [/ h; y+ w3 \
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".; J! h& G! e% a$ |9 \
{/ u3 b8 w0 l! p8 R, yIn the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make3 i2 l+ |( C( D8 E; ^1 X
the sivil servants jump with joy.* G7 k8 K7 m7 ^2 I
) M3 m* v4 j7 ?/ V7 }The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
( O) ?$ @; e- v/ D, M H; f# G1 H/ pkonfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.8 z$ A5 E s$ k+ k( L
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% ?1 h! B% F+ |# O, O- [There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
4 K2 p5 k2 y2 rtroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
- ^' ]1 g0 b$ h! o0 U5 M" ?4 bfotograf 20% shorter.
: F' I7 }6 ?3 F) k9 @* I! i2 q( |, V8 \6 m+ F# L
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
& r/ R1 }' z9 u5 Q, [reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.8 C5 B0 H% W( g0 [- p( C
$ O W! y9 ]8 |( A( Q& t9 V% TGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
8 p5 i! E' H" X8 v9 E4 ^0 I) v! {ben a deterent to akurate speling.% o* C2 E u6 o
: k' k1 E% x3 Z' ^1 v- mAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is4 X5 z! l. T& F4 z6 D, o8 N
disgrasful and it should go away.
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with: T' R4 T2 o* J2 {/ I2 ~
"z" and "w" with "v".
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, B, @$ m: s, n& [ A# cDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and: c. Y/ s: N6 |4 D3 r
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu$ }9 `# l, Y5 G: i/ G+ i* d6 C ~
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
' U0 t. |' v, X( f( v. sUnd efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze: c" q0 ]- B( x$ t. @" |
forst plas.; y. B1 r( [( v' D$ s2 L u: w
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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