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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will; o( w' K" e. n, }4 _! U
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
* z1 Y. {' d6 fthe other possibility.: R7 G9 \2 X5 S8 U: { N, O
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English
4 l* t& I4 B, ]( c0 P7 J1 Z& Cspelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
- s5 s' a; m; V; D3 Y$ Y* w3 u$ pplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".3 m! E2 c4 [) u% M2 a! d, }4 T6 b
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make
+ P# }/ }" n' @0 U/ _" `/ a6 rthe sivil servants jump with joy.; S* h/ ~( S0 ?* z
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up( ~0 A+ N- @# C+ c; P# H; l. i
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.+ n' y& C: ^- g: t/ Z
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There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
6 @1 t7 ^2 v/ z: m0 [$ |' J* Ytroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
6 c9 U3 {! |. T% k" r! q _fotograf 20% shorter.) R; n% B' F7 l9 i# B. U; i" a
+ }: [$ r( C- mIn the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to) e: n/ M/ S% r( A, j& ^, @
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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6 U# {- X) L+ w+ T4 j, RGovernments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always4 A4 [' l8 ^. P; R" `: \' G B
ben a deterent to akurate speling.- ~+ G* U' G |/ A
# }8 |% v l- F' c/ `Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is- } B& e# m5 p
disgrasful and it should go away.4 g- V' W4 S" j. C/ B
% c5 T( y% j; P( v( O2 r# SBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
! |/ i$ y( q& P* u& f# k"z" and "w" with "v".' f$ s( H% R8 V' G; q6 P6 W" C
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and2 V( D$ ]- A7 Z1 p3 q1 e) Y
after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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1 ?( G: e, Z6 x$ K! N5 m: N8 `Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu" F* O8 c, U! L3 c+ h- X
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.; |! y; S J* b% o5 a h G$ O9 ~2 G
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
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1 Q |: @- ^+ ^) gIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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