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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will3 p, S; t! P! L% d
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was
0 m: b3 ^* p; Q! e: f6 sthe other possibility.3 P0 l2 W7 c8 y) g! S4 y8 @
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As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English ~3 I) @1 w* o
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in
* E4 s; D4 J& N, Z$ lplan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make2 q# b0 b- ]3 w% z* ]2 D& d
the sivil servants jump with joy.
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The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up e* n, H% R F, l
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
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. Q. D7 K9 ^' W# \6 {There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
$ x. O! }$ O2 `9 t1 j9 m0 ]! h( t rtroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
; L6 |, O- N; `fotograf 20% shorter.7 a9 [6 N3 T; P) n( M# B
1 I _, E. T9 |: i; `In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
3 w) X; A' A' m+ J4 e' N" D( zreach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always
9 [; W& `6 w2 ?' B0 G$ A$ Uben a deterent to akurate speling.
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Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is1 g1 d% ^' v B Z
disgrasful and it should go away.; k% K6 F; y( x6 C5 Q4 w V
+ Y; O5 L, P+ W. V; aBy the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
% ^ z$ G1 k3 H# X' Q; a"z" and "w" with "v".
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0 m8 j9 U* N1 q m! \. C QDuring ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
$ G+ k) W& i G, @3 y, Fafter ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.! \; x7 v0 p6 I5 f' b( t
6 l* |) }8 g2 h I0 R. XZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
4 l3 _( A4 X/ b, G' N1 k! f, `/ {understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.8 F3 o& I* ~4 q1 b* y5 }
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
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If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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