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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will0 L5 B" a9 V5 ?& c: |& B
be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was! @' ]3 p+ w) {3 i0 S
the other possibility.
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6 H$ q) a3 t. F3 }+ z" FAs part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English! q& H- G) E, \3 J5 Q
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in/ q1 i2 a2 M( o, L: G1 p
plan that would become known as "EuroEnglish".( K* H& B: E. W N( z( d) R
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In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make) g/ ~; N4 C6 G4 Y2 O6 V2 T( K
the sivil servants jump with joy. C6 X7 L) u* o7 K; y1 u
3 |2 I. z% m( \8 XThe hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up$ b! y2 g8 F7 M
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter./ \# ~4 w% d5 t/ b5 y; } ?
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" x }! f: U: w6 O# w4 `( q( {There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
% z4 `* w8 l* w1 r; C. Btroublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like/ w! N4 a* c9 j
fotograf 20% shorter.; i8 u( P' e% z# D! T$ D
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In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
. C- J- ~+ O; I& k& w+ _reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
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Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always w" j7 m7 H1 v4 c4 {- I% F3 D" d1 Q
ben a deterent to akurate speling.5 F G1 g& |) b, d
& a1 t4 u& D$ Q4 t- m, dAlso, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
1 e3 T# M4 _6 f4 |: h! {2 bdisgrasful and it should go away.3 u( \. G' U" ]1 z8 y
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By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with, S2 @7 h, b# N0 m9 k
"z" and "w" with "v".
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During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"and
9 a* }& j& b7 h3 h! |after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
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3 b+ x: r2 _; ? f. J* vZer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu1 D+ C8 a+ \' O' t. [. f8 S6 ^" F# l" Z
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
' `( d( c4 O% D, m3 _Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
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, v# { M ?: c1 C8 ?! |+ I1 XIf zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. |
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