 鲜花( 634)  鸡蛋( 5)
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Originally posted by shuishijie at 2005-6-24 12:15 PM:) ^" O" F! v; A( @, ^0 W
i sense a little tension here ; ` C! @. |5 U& Z3 E
sorry, i didn't mean you by 'you' which is a general reference.
, v5 B$ E% h$ `& J5 uback to our discussion, you are absolutely right.( s; u2 D; z6 M, @4 a- x
if she/he 有那金刚钻, ie. intelligence and self-control, then she/he 就能揽这瓷器活儿.+ }4 f' _# t$ e' B. p
Furthermore, if she/he cheated and is able to hide it for the rest of her/his life, then she/he has to bear with the guilty for the rest of her/his life.+ }! _4 Q# {( [) M
If both cheated and can face it very well, then both of them will be worried if the other will cheat again.
0 d& Z& h- b% s/ a& v, h. xIf both are not worried about the other cheating, then is this a marriage you want?
( i* L( L8 I7 Q% }$ v, oNot mean you here
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没有没有,没有任何敌意, 随便聊天。! `; X2 s, F+ q0 n9 Q% T8 a8 B
' q5 R5 b3 N2 [# M T其实我只是说一种可能性,并没有道德评价,或者人身安插。
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" y4 ?8 N* Q! h! h) u* a0 B( w; Q你后面的三种情形,不同的人,不同的情商,不同的原则,处理情况也不同,有的一样可以花好月圆,有的则是一团乱麻。所以我说的“金刚钻“的比喻,是说没有大家都搞定的本事(搞定情人老婆劳工和自己),就别冒险。
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比如前几天看到杂志里谈到“处理婚外恋“说得好,向你的伴侣坦白之前,先想一想,如果你只是想摆脱guilty感觉,那么向伴侣坦白,等于把自己的负担转移给你的伴侣而已,对你的婚姻毫无好处,那么不如跟心理医生讲述。除非这次婚外行为有性疾病的可能,你需要带你的伴侣去就医。所以还是说呢, if you can not take the heat, get out of the kitchen.
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我本人对夫妻远距离生存,各找临时情人,是持理解通融的态度的。我并不羡慕那些多年分离还守身如玉的夫妻。当然我也崇尚夫妻的忠诚,所以我更希望的是常相厮守。 |
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