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黄西在David Letterman Show上的台词[英文]

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鲜花(19) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-5 20:01 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.
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/ p% j- k2 i: I6 z% lI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:3 K% q/ N9 v9 n. d8 G7 u

3 E# y/ a6 u/ c; p8 u8 A"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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% F7 @& q- X8 h! c! b" {3 tI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?+ z1 |5 M: Q) B9 \1 @+ N" O
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And the second one was:
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"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?* x% T  F) ^2 g- N5 V8 i

! G4 C, K  E. A: y"What is Roe vs. Wade?"
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7 }: g1 R$ Z' Z3 h6 uI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?; @4 K: ]- E6 b7 `6 _  a% D
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I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."7 _0 T9 n. \; k4 h5 X) [
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So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
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Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”9 M  P9 K4 }1 z1 U3 R
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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' e# x1 s. ]4 w1 K  a; m' t. sThank you very much!
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+ M! Q3 E, j5 G. }+ \, B7 yImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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2 ^) ?$ c9 e5 V4 t' g' D1 J- @1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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' L8 ~; W8 s9 r: `7 |) M2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.8 z9 U2 ]* a1 O/ V: `/ E

4 h& l. M: S& e"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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( y$ x5 Q+ q& VJoe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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) z3 D# j3 Q" N; z) nRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.+ T, b  M- q- o1 c+ n; y
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water".
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-5 21:39 | 显示全部楼层
the first passage is funny. I did not fully comprehend the humor until I looked for the exact meaning of stud, which means:
# @; F- z$ U7 u  Oa young man, esp one who is thought to be very active sexually and is regarded as a good sexual partner 小伙子(尤指性慾旺盛堪为性伴侣的).
鲜花(76) 鸡蛋(4)
发表于 2009-5-5 22:28 | 显示全部楼层
THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR YOUR SHARING. IT IS REALLY USEFUL. JOE WANG IS A FUNNY GUY AND HAS ACHIEVED AMAZING ACHIEVEMNET.
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-6 06:55 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队 追求完美
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 08:35 | 显示全部楼层
this guy is really cool.
鲜花(76) 鸡蛋(4)
发表于 2009-5-6 09:12 | 显示全部楼层
50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。& j8 P# o1 z' }5 q
怎么理解?
4 r$ K3 F- {" H$ N9 M50%的婚姻最终走向永恒?
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 09:56 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
6# cyz0116
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不离婚,白头到老
鲜花(21) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 10:33 | 显示全部楼层
50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。
5 H5 ^4 u0 m# B& \怎么理解?
4 A1 b- p9 C7 U5 A; Z1 T5 H50%的婚姻最终走向永恒?
, _, g6 l1 ~# I! @7 @* ucyz0116 发表于 2009-5-6 10:12
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+ W6 B4 r) f1 b9 A( l/ M; i7 W我觉得JOE的意思可能是不离婚的比例这么高,(因为他害怕婚姻)可能他离不了婚吧。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-6 11:37 | 显示全部楼层
8# 朝阳
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我觉得他的意思是离婚率太高了。
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2009-5-7 19:59 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
同意朝阳的意见。原来没有认真看,觉着就是离婚率太高了。但是这样就没有什么幽默了,好玩的对方可能是为了迎合一些不爱结婚的美国人。从一而终对一些年轻人是来讲,不一定是梦想,却有可能是噩梦
大型搬家
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-8 12:12 | 显示全部楼层
表情僵硬。看第一遍没觉的,越看越觉的离专业演员差好大一截。
大型搬家
鲜花(22) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2009-5-8 21:06 | 显示全部楼层
东瞅瞅,西侃侃.
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