 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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: C' j/ ]5 A3 KI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you." c. \9 b6 d$ _- I# o
# }4 |5 J: P: N6 }' HI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.$ ]. @* `* T+ @5 h8 P7 D
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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$ v% m2 ]" v) L* m$ W7 j) ?"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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& Q: p& I" t& q" {* ]I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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And the second one was:
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"What's the 2nd Amendment?"- g- |% w% O: Y; [1 m5 ~
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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"What is Roe vs. Wade?"- @9 _$ a4 F9 w0 m
) t; O# ^4 r( FI was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?9 p7 h0 p( O; u9 g
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I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!8 D* m% j# s- _, Z2 l+ C# q
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen." ~6 ?0 F& p, O1 L5 Z) G, `( l
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So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"" `/ d) N+ n& ~9 m3 A& Q
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Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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) j1 c/ n3 `+ h$ sThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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Thank you very much!( w$ |$ l" [7 X( l8 x9 X0 }1 D% N
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Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.+ s' l+ [0 A8 m1 b2 s7 N2 y/ n; [
0 B7 L) U) I0 I: `2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.4 e" O5 h% e$ q
. U6 ?9 T5 Z+ S; B2 M. n"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.3 \3 U0 G: X* B+ c6 ?. K
( y" f% T& I6 w4 ]6 g6 vJoe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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' x) T+ \0 S; f& S* Y C+ N$ sRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US., p& f! I9 F: i+ }
- ], l4 x7 r! b$ J0 `, y( cThe denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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