 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.1 W+ B2 O% ^; h
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I'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.
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I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.1 Y) Y, `& l) \: N% f+ G: B
" _) D2 s4 k9 l5 }; CI worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:5 i4 b f: t. E L* u8 K
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"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?; M Q$ F7 S4 ?0 }8 A
8 W# m9 b2 a/ nAnd the second one was:
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) `' M. E8 |! ]"What's the 2nd Amendment?"( u0 H* J4 W3 T+ y, q
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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"What is Roe vs. Wade?"3 [& J; L- C6 ^ k1 U3 Z
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I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
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I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."2 g5 T5 j+ ~1 }9 ^* P3 o m" F
7 l, c- E$ C9 F& e+ YSo I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"
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Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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) l& R, ~! ^$ M4 n6 pThis sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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) @8 s' B+ @; V! z; {4 n4 ^Thank you very much!
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Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:, I/ v# E/ f2 F+ S- [: j) T
8 H" p3 A1 E1 J1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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: o) i; M( g& h( t% I; |2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.- P- T* C* h/ F. A) ~
) G7 _' N; S1 A. H% D: T"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".6 @5 n9 M1 M8 N! {9 r7 {& M
8 X6 S' w. q. D$ FRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US./ a9 B7 r$ P n: ^
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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