黄西在David Letterman Show上的台词[英文]

十年移民路_

Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.

& @8 E: B. N1 f9 ]. s1 X# ~  II'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.

I'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.

I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:

"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"

I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
, U; B) d) T& W! |% |& d
And the second one was:

9 z% U3 {! r& P! M"What's the 2nd Amendment?"
  S& G9 @+ ]& @  u  ?  v& J  \, m
3 H" e  `7 d- H! JI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
* `9 J. p- e3 A
"What is Roe vs. Wade?"

I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
# R* [! E7 _" u: ?" I
$ h' Q1 `% g, M' _3 D$ k+ BI have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!
, b1 z" e; e' W* {
I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."

, W; A$ V4 z2 ~! R3 D6 @$ ]So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"

Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
+ D: d0 g: e9 M
This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.

( o6 F" |) h8 i# ]Thank you very much!

1 E9 z2 ~+ E* M==========================
' V; k3 ~, `! o1 t; Z2 e2 ~0 i
/ \/ X. V8 b1 {- uImplicit explanations to audience with culture difference:

1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.

. }+ n8 L" v( D$ \2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.

"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
" Y9 \7 P0 J. ~; x. F
Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".

7 e3 |) H+ m" T& {: G5 Y# PRoe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.

The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water".

billzhao

the first passage is funny. I did not fully comprehend the humor until I looked for the exact meaning of stud, which means:
' `( Q; e- O) [9 F% f0 ka young man, esp one who is thought to be very active sexually and is regarded as a good sexual partner 小伙子（尤指性慾旺盛堪为性伴侣的）.

cyz0116

THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR YOUR SHARING. IT IS REALLY USEFUL. JOE WANG IS A FUNNY GUY AND HAS ACHIEVED AMAZING ACHIEVEMNET.

billzhao

朝阳

this guy is really cool.

cyz0116

50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。
& Q0 c2 U5 y8 l4 M7 a怎么理解？
50%的婚姻最终走向永恒？

Tara2009

6# cyz0116
' u. K; s  [2 m6 `
: F- l3 E7 m2 B9 p, `
不离婚，白头到老

朝阳

50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever。
怎么理解？
& N3 a1 b% p) U$ Z/ w( ~50%的婚姻最终走向永恒？
cyz0116 发表于 2009-5-6 10:12

- Q# W0 U5 }) l& }9 z
我觉得JOE的意思可能是不离婚的比例这么高，（因为他害怕婚姻）可能他离不了婚吧。

Tara2009

8# 朝阳
- s; w& `1 B/ }  F/ @9 p. g: P0 Y
我觉得他的意思是离婚率太高了。

billzhao

同意朝阳的意见。原来没有认真看，觉着就是离婚率太高了。但是这样就没有什么幽默了，好玩的对方可能是为了迎合一些不爱结婚的美国人。从一而终对一些年轻人是来讲，不一定是梦想，却有可能是噩梦

Tara2009

表情僵硬。看第一遍没觉的，越看越觉的离专业演员差好大一截。

陕西闺女

东瞅瞅,西侃侃.