 鲜花( 19)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Hi everybody. So... I'm Irish. I read a report recently that a man reaches his sexual peak at age 18 but I didn't know this... until I was twenty five. So the world will never know what a stud I was. No one took a bite out of this peach when it was ripe.
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, f# b1 {! n5 {0 OI'm not good at sports, but I love parallel parking... because unlike sports, when you are parallel parking, the worse you are, the more people that are rooting for you.. l4 o( `1 V8 q5 s
' p: N' t* \7 W$ t* mI'm an immigrant and I used to drive an old car with a lot of bumper stickers that are impossible to peel off. And one of them said, "if you don't speak English, go home!" I didn't notice it for two years.6 k1 w% V, d3 q0 Q0 v: I) b, [
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I worked really hard to become a U.S. citizen and I have to take these American History lessons where they asked us questions like:
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"Who's Benjamin Franklin?"/ A/ O! K8 N+ M, `5 B
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I was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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And the second one was:
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: k$ [; B& ~- k"What's the 2nd Amendment?"- \) I% z/ @' q$ `
% Y- c8 ]' b6 u) q* {* LI was like; ahh... The reason our convenience stores get robbed?
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* j7 \8 V, V8 Q"What is Roe vs. Wade?"% U4 l- Z# F! f! ^) u, ^0 Q7 z
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I was like ahh... Two ways of coming to the United States?
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I have a family now, but I used to be scared of marriage. I was like wow... 50 percent of all marriages end up lasting on forever!) r* b4 ?: C b/ a
0 j4 j4 h+ X- \/ S& ~1 h( O2 [I just had my first child last year. I was really amazed at it. I was in the delivery room, holding up my son, thinking to myself, "Wow... He was just born... And he's already a U.S citizen."2 f% N3 Z. E9 i5 v+ n
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So I said to him, "DO you even know who is Benjamin Franklin?"8 C7 m: _) t' y7 C, ?' z7 r
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Now I have a sign in my car that says ”Baby On board.”
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This sign is basically a threat. It just says that I have a screaming baby and a nagging wife and that I am not afraid of dying anymore.
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& q6 o8 d/ \2 t: \Thank you very much!* ^ j7 D5 v5 a" \ w" U
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Implicit explanations to audience with culture difference:
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# j: B" _! q1 [: @' A1. Ben Franklin's picture is on the US $100 bill.
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2. Second Amendment refers to the US Constitution for the right to keep and bear arms.
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"Roe vs. Wade" is a famous court case that you'll learn about in history class that deals with abortion.
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Joe Wong used this case in a form of a question: What is Roe vs. Wade? To which he cleverly delivered the punchline "Two ways of coming to the United States".
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; _4 ^8 r. ]& q! A4 c7 b# {Roe is used as a play on words to describe "row", as in using a boat to "row" to the US.( ?6 T. M6 l, k* l- \- r6 ]; p; V
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The denotation of wade was used, the definition meaning "to walk in water". |
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