Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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$ i( H* @: [* ^, w: z" p7 bJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

5 j2 Y( k/ `# Y+ S& y5 K- kpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
! y7 W& {. [0 B9 s: F; Dand organizational skills and be willing to work
# o  T7 F$ c0 q% _variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
4 X$ V- e7 M4 k1 a7 ?  Gand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
" H* {! @4 K, v: _) ~* FSome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
* u$ C2 u. o2 a6 T  KTravel expenses not reimbursed.
& l' m' }6 p# ~) @Extensive courier duties also required.
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4 W& x) f) T+ BRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
) g9 U* u7 K* W2 \$ Oand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
- E# N: q, H- win case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
7 f7 z1 X5 Z. \9 E; GMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
" N4 H2 ]! S6 |; ~, Mand stuck zippers.
/ R& o. K2 n2 o, C. x9 z4 |9 o) XMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
3 `# T) _# Q% E1 _+ R8 mMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
, l  m6 M% A  U8 Y1 ]6 aan embarrassment the next.
7 i/ q% i' C& F1 G4 K/ y6 BMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
. o" s! R  t; X4 s- S' F7 lhalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
( W" t2 I; x# R' qMust assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
; k' u  F% k7 e6 h: ^' z6 pResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
/ l* L) u% {$ {9 N8 X9 p3 I- p+ Ywithout complaining,constantly retraining and
9 U$ ?! R/ B4 K# kupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
; u# i, Q* V) }9 E; X# P& G+ dcan ultimately surpass you.

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& }" S) s% [1 z) f: s. CPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
+ @) `" s3 {5 _- U. XNone required, unfortunately.
% j$ c! H! h+ DOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
3 C! u- P+ p! |0 S. {5 @- [a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

/ j; O& C& }5 GBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
4 }" Q% |+ @) u) {7 e* s0 ithis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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* H" f8 l/ ^8 j- g  iunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

1 X, d  d$ z* efor life if you play your cards right.




** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **



Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
+ H; L( r9 X/ H/ h& P' N( xletting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
4 e0 u7 P, S2 }or forward with love
/ R' r9 r" Q, c. U- A8 Eto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.