Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


JOB DESCRIPTION:
, _. N2 U* p7 G7 n9 y# F  o/ YLong term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
/ \. R) q. J4 _Candidates must possess excellent communication
, a* x- D) Y$ ~1 _: @1 b8 Qand organizational skills and be willing to work
8 _0 d" Y7 |' @variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
7 N( m' I% s1 ^1 k9 |1 Xendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
8 c1 x" l. m6 V) f, U8 M$ rThe rest of your life.
+ X+ e, i4 O" C/ U* a1 ]Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
" v* o& n4 Q* I3 V, m& }9 C) Bin case, this time, the screams from
3 \- T. \7 ^7 A( Mthe backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
8 Y/ r( |# [& J# kMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
* L, p2 n( N. ^8 x+ fMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
. ~; P8 y! v" u* ^8 [) k- Bcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
* L+ s; K' F. ~1 E9 P6 [Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
9 ~. y* x# P9 Van embarrassment the next.
& L: Y& \1 N, s4 o1 T5 \Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
9 O& @1 C/ W! t3 mMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
! o  A/ _& e6 g4 o7 e! HMust assume final, complete accountability for
4 |% b0 g) f2 O( q  W2 e5 ?the quality of the end product.
9 }' R( w! U& l$ V2 N1 `Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
: Y$ G! M: S( C, k$ n' G2 C2 Rjanitorial work  throughout the facility.

% m6 j6 k+ E" A1 {, k1 u# c. ~2 W+ rPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
- @1 l4 T4 L( pupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
. D2 P6 S4 r5 H8 _8 _can ultimately surpass you.
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/ e2 Y- v' h1 T" W5 r5 j, E% OPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
2 T% n2 R, ]; K/ M  u2 oNone required, unfortunately.
# K' B) c* W! TOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
# u' t, N  m) v7 M% k* f/ l  YGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
% E5 q$ S# j- y( Gof the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
/ f7 W& P5 T  `  q/ ~When you die, you give them whatever is left.
! q2 V+ t: n: RThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

0 M% `6 f8 K" l( n2 G9 YBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
6 Y8 @% l0 z: Z6 W9 ]7 _( z- rno stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

/ q4 z5 j2 _/ T5 ^  ?unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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$ U' j9 S& p1 b  P9 e& H/ Nfor life if you play your cards right.


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. t$ b2 n6 o- C% S; }** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **



" }, T: q' o( G# Y3 N; GForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
, e  `: A* k4 R$ y; q8 D  k/ `for the fabulous job they do...
  P! W3 {( `+ for forward with love
( _3 `& P7 h: X9 hto anyone thinking of applying for the job.

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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.