Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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5 M4 d. y1 ?* y3 p# n3 cJOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
; w  F5 R6 `+ \; yand organizational skills and be willing to work
2 Z1 Z7 K( u2 V! h* mvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
4 O; Q4 d" {( w) @0 k) U+ wSome overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
5 ?# y/ _0 O# ?' T3 k) Qendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
4 W- F2 `. a1 x$ p' v# D8 rTravel expenses not reimbursed.
9 T8 I; n7 d# i5 _5 K4 x. N7 GExtensive courier duties also required.
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4 X/ F3 v" ~5 Y  ^' z& Z) |RESPONSIBILITIES:
6 L1 b: y$ G0 V3 s( A8 G& S  tThe rest of your life.
9 ?( O) W: y0 K9 L4 r8 xMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
6 ]( G( a, ^+ huntil someone needs $5.
: L/ C' i& F+ nMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
& I2 m* g1 x3 K  n4 YMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
; ], ?" F  Z1 |: Tsuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
8 n% I2 e. r9 U0 T" cand stuck zippers.
2 g( b( E1 `4 I  k+ [0 RMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
4 r7 b% E, n" Y: g8 ~( y% uMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
* I3 r' z- g) l2 M, z, y) r% m3 ^Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
8 K, m8 [0 b. x+ }1 Uan embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
, B; }4 d8 g( g% W; ihalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
/ ^" G' x7 a: C' V$ B- }$ kthe quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
6 [0 v: b* T- m/ vNone.
  l" r/ N$ J8 }, oYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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6 Z8 A) ]% |3 a9 }PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
8 [  ?% X5 Q  fOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
4 b! g- H: m& b. vGet this! You pay them!
* E; ~* P$ L2 @) o5 h% j# N& bOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
' i6 R3 v4 Y- c2 O( [5 D! u# Ja balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
0 i/ |, I; l0 j* V, F* m3 [( e) qof the assumption that college will help them
/ N+ q- z' j3 b6 I. j) @5 s/ ebecome financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
4 X5 B* A9 c9 N! [4 Iyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
8 U* @* S3 ^# \$ [0 qWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
( [  @& c6 W3 E: |) yno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
5 q, `- E; Y/ T* dthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
, f+ R, b7 K( X/ ?or forward with love
% z0 ^' P+ J% Xto anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.