Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
5 B3 f% x: |8 E' V& cDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa

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( A/ [& s, @7 XJOB DESCRIPTION:
' ?( _& J9 t+ \. q' uLong term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
; E' T  D! d. q/ h5 FCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
: c8 A6 ]2 `# C  a/ i; uvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
  L* K$ U; [, Q0 g* F0 u" ~and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
; Y# r. w  f2 |* Gprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
1 S3 U" W# i( k: M; ]Extensive courier duties also required.
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* H7 G, e. r% i4 V6 s" E' M$ M' pRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
! l+ F' M2 o2 z* X: O1 d( EMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
2 K1 R% z- E# R+ J+ d1 qand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
$ |  K: P8 ^6 v7 n  e( XMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
' J# o" D( b  r' usuch as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
; _1 ]+ H* Z2 R! y8 u! ?% u! Jand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
' X: Z: Y/ W7 U5 j+ SMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
( Y8 C! o% j8 o# _Must assume final, complete accountability for
" c1 q1 R1 E$ _" }the quality of the end product.
( B' `: t: [/ a6 Y* N3 dResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.
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- s# |+ o$ r" @& d3 s+ {POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
3 ?1 F2 z0 @, ~/ L$ |0 X; vNone.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
3 k$ `7 A2 P) y' d: ?) n( b5 t5 Acan ultimately surpass you.

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9 I( Q" e  y- ^7 d! P7 qPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
' A* E' _2 d2 Z$ w+ {2 ROn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

4 \. [+ F$ \$ n+ YWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them!
1 I. D* A0 w' WOffering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
2 y- ~  T4 R9 [: \  S+ xof the assumption that college will help them
: K' e* Z  ^5 qbecome financially independent.
6 c0 ~: ]! x7 d6 P+ c; kWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
! }7 I/ D" I+ V) x. ~9 QThe oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
/ G8 U" S! b& tyou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
/ W1 \- O, p9 g' o6 L1 @' iWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
# E. |% z0 R. h9 Yno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
4 N0 ~( h" [$ M+ m2 G, ?no stock options are offered,
3 `  I( U, X6 h! O2 }9 c$ ]this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

# X3 z* @3 T, B' ~/ ]for life if you play your cards right.



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  m$ Q: A3 c6 I: A4 w) y$ g) T; [** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **


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Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
2 n7 n4 \/ B: z1 x3 a- c* W: nletting them know they are appreciated
! z- i; R* `/ `2 q1 G9 tfor the fabulous job they do...
/ ^$ k! K4 c* jor forward with love
( y( ]$ L: ~) y! l, ?to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.