Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
3 x0 A6 N% V3 c1 \3 Q# G- hDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
+ E! O4 A/ t+ n& cLong term, team players needed for challenging,

4 ^$ x* z8 o* J: h! tpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
1 C/ \3 F0 z5 K: F% U% OCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
3 N; N  ~$ Z4 STravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

9 u0 Q8 Y' Y' Q+ S8 i0 zRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
5 ?# j' G9 F! z& IMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
8 y# _8 P4 O4 _. LMust screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
, Y9 s7 S* J2 d$ qMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
2 `* ^! K6 }/ F4 cMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
" ~) F+ Y% {& C5 o; t  Xthe quality of the end product.
9 f# E+ H- b+ i7 \" }& WResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work  throughout the facility.

- z; A, v. p8 M0 D7 |  n7 zPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
6 s$ I, A6 d, I, |( i$ m; @1 BNone.
1 x/ d0 X4 U7 S+ f" y0 l( UYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
8 q  k$ I& J7 U" K* {1 v* Wwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
# c8 h7 {0 a7 Z4 z% Supdating your skills, so that those in your charge
' y% _, F+ s3 n, `can ultimately surpass you.


PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
% r+ y; F- [* {$ iNone required, unfortunately.
* A3 |1 i# N/ o: N  GOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
0 Y- T4 G5 b; ]0 w& W" m- \# k0 |Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
* u8 L  {2 _# _a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
! S/ k# Q- b7 \1 u6 Z; g& Nbecome financially independent.
/ b- w: t* H* L6 f* HWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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BENEFITS:
9 ?* B" i* ~2 N5 k% YWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,

unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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; n) Z, Z- J! F& I7 F2 I( ]for life if you play your cards right.
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5 s, ^3 W& z6 [; L3 N8 I  g** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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1 }- D; e& |7 n8 KForward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
letting them know they are appreciated
! v& Q- k* Q  Z( Sfor the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.