Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
  S: ~$ z$ G2 fDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa


7 O+ C3 w0 C9 U. G+ e+ zJOB DESCRIPTION:
( m2 u9 [0 w7 bLong term, team players needed for challenging,

permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
) ]3 o# k# E4 \- A! Oand organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
+ i0 J  h+ x% X7 T3 z- @9 Land frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
/ P( M! g! u6 l0 wendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
& K. o6 R" x& q. e" T4 BTravel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
5 N& K/ F: u1 w! A
' o, X5 d! c( sRESPONSIBILITIES:
& ?3 q- d5 g0 b: D9 V0 X' J8 NThe rest of your life.
+ x: D5 }6 v  Q' f+ wMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
% s- z& Z1 p% n5 AMust be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
4 I7 S  F- \0 d8 ^and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
+ q6 S  u$ p7 DMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
$ M) r) F3 r/ Y: z/ r3 uand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
, p. F, e- U" F% w: e  Z( B: `$ van embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
( z0 x) t/ L8 l4 `6 _half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
0 r% ?9 b& Y( N* ~  J" dthe quality of the end product.
1 i+ `: z* b1 s  FResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
! U9 u2 Y: D6 ljanitorial work  throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
! }& G6 @& S: }& o  nNone.
4 F1 H$ v/ a9 SYour job is to remain in the same position for years,
" X7 h* @+ [% C" Wwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
updating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.

# J3 \1 K' O# l0 V; ?
8 S+ x( o( R9 d2 W+ d; w- iPREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
/ n- P; V5 b. r" J+ fNone required, unfortunately.
; i9 _( J$ D1 y4 D/ v2 q' [, ?" v! K* IOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
) B' g6 s' a% r/ g5 E2 z2 b
1 M4 z: q- f" f/ uWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
, A2 D* e; Z1 H$ S1 F) ZGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
. A2 b$ y5 j& W0 H8 Y% q+ wa balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
) b; M/ T3 C# H- V) K. Byou actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

. E" h; I7 Y" Q- Y* c7 n" \/ s0 }BENEFITS:
/ [' z5 e" w1 ?5 W/ |' b& L7 CWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
& a" ^# l* W7 s' V# Pno tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
8 Z& E) x1 l8 @  Y3 Jthis job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
6 J8 l  r# C" I1 h& V6 f# |# g1 W
unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.

, t/ Q6 c7 }9 b# @4 U! S

6 B& ~# b3 j" F- z: b* r/ S5 ~
** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
. t, k3 x/ L/ \
1 O+ v+ g, x) U; g$ i
" Y5 j1 N0 P+ b  n8 s
Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
' O6 X7 z$ l, a! a0 N$ V/ Lletting them know they are appreciated
# a- a# X7 w6 R$ H: pfor the fabulous job they do...
or forward with love
/ @0 E/ b" O3 L6 E- Ito anyone thinking of applying for the job.

billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.