 鲜花( 3)  鸡蛋( 0)
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Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma F6 k4 a- P) ]3 _0 `$ o0 F8 {
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
: d: h6 z0 Q0 j7 L! ]9 \$ [8 ?Long term, team players needed for challenging,
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m7 C) a7 v3 c' E2 X0 fpermanent work in an often chaotic environment.
( C! X: k5 a" }0 s, U3 I. bCandidates must possess excellent communication
# Q; c% U" r+ r/ ]and organizational skills and be willing to work 5 c2 P4 j% M, l: ]9 o- J: b5 I
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
4 J \# Q5 M2 k5 j0 L6 Aand frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
2 l" h1 x+ } BSome overnight travel required, including trips to
- [$ y( B7 M" S' l/ p9 [primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and : C% i' X5 c% W, g0 ]
endless sports tournaments in far away cities! 1 w2 s W% r: w3 F9 J% |
Travel expenses not reimbursed. 7 C0 A6 A- ~! R( J+ z( E8 x2 \
Extensive courier duties also required. 9 Z8 w' ^$ c/ M0 j3 w4 w {1 H
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RESPONSIBILITIES:
' S: G8 O+ h C- a. t6 HThe rest of your life.
y+ m8 u1 w0 L. kMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, ; Z$ F2 F, A/ w- R9 k# A
until someone needs $5. : T. v5 W ]5 \. W6 o% A$ d
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. / d7 g% K8 v, t
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule ) A) d- Z" t, ~7 I
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat 0 R3 V" E: H9 _
in case, this time, the screams from - k) r( B8 y3 g5 z5 B) {
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. $ w) o) H, v8 x
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, * p6 g8 [! g0 e5 O* j8 }9 `
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
1 x2 ]. u/ F2 ?. P/ l& L1 Land stuck zippers.
1 F) Q5 v: s5 l' f$ L6 l9 [9 ^Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
8 Q8 S5 |. x, G/ `) \" pcoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
; z: x1 ^$ u+ D. D" Y% [0 ]) YMust have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. . |5 Z e' t8 H' I& H1 u6 O4 i9 p
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
* q+ d* i6 |: k# ean embarrassment the next.
0 i' j, K S' h# H5 E( c" OMust handle assembly and product safety testing of a
+ T+ Q# }& m' b/ thalf million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. ; g9 O- g" ^, s# t+ h* u6 U
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. ! E! Y" {, z- E8 X; D, ?( b
Must assume final, complete accountability for , E* r4 c/ N, A$ v8 C4 E% C1 t
the quality of the end product. + F# o; H0 ]) A5 e" G( Z8 q
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and 6 E6 Z* U2 b5 L% ^
janitorial work throughout the facility. 8 g2 x; c0 Y9 y1 D- n( Y
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POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:7 s! ?, X% q2 W, b
None. + `, x# E* B0 l
Your job is to remain in the same position for years, & v; @ N7 U8 `- M Y
without complaining,constantly retraining and
8 @$ e0 K( g8 b' H/ C3 qupdating your skills, so that those in your charge
4 S2 L& y; Q- N( B$ Gcan ultimately surpass you.* G. u+ g* @ a: z2 o; B
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
" h4 M7 P8 ?& ]( S/ h0 }/ E3 hNone required, unfortunately.
( e1 H4 v- h& D8 QOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
9 P+ p, \) h( f$ _/ lGet this! You pay them! - L! W- b" M. ^1 r" o$ g! F* i
Offering frequent raises and bonuses. - Y1 C# \: E+ a- ~4 w8 k/ V2 ~
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
( ~% K* [! E, \- q r% v4 Sof the assumption that college will help them
* y( R# }- z) I1 }$ w- Cbecome financially independent. ; k/ u# r$ y6 e F [9 [
When you die, you give them whatever is left. / ~2 O8 T7 Y, z) ?* H6 c. j
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that / K+ _* q R/ p& |+ W
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more. 4 M- J$ c$ Y, L) E$ U
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BENEFITS:
: p7 M1 `$ i1 l- D' h# iWhile no health or dental insu! rance, no pension, 2 \ m" z+ F) Y- a
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
8 j- E( _7 n) D) N1 `8 _$ z$ {no stock options are offered,+ v. o0 B2 c& [# J2 ?# T
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, & l M* p7 a9 p2 H
. \- O' @- O. M1 h' Wunconditional love, and free hugs and kisses
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for life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
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H$ D6 f- D1 E0 k2 ]! q% ^Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis, 6 O+ Q( P$ \ \3 X( H8 }8 S" k
letting them know they are appreciated 1 q1 y& y; B: r( d Q: [/ r
for the fabulous job they do... : }/ }/ A$ f3 b7 d5 W4 m
or forward with love & u5 @& l! K& H$ }
to anyone thinking of applying for the job." s2 H5 ]$ }/ K+ a# W% ]) c3 U
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狗仔卡
发表于 2009-4-24 11:47
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显身卡
发表于 2009-4-25 07:19
