Job Description - Parent

propeller

POSITION:
' A5 N. ]" z5 J+ }+ U; f2 |Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
. k. Z+ ]- m7 r2 T; x4 R, LDad, Daddy, Dada, Papa, Pa
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JOB DESCRIPTION:
' `1 ]: \8 w- w: Q7 PLong term, team players needed for challenging,
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permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
, [9 Z7 Y) \. s9 }: o/ z' Y  UCandidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
" S1 k+ L5 e% L: |6 `, H5 R+ q9 S" lvariable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
- V. X4 ~# o' Y) Y1 z. nprimitive camping sites on rainy weekends and
& d. x5 b$ n, ^  R" e3 fendless sports tournaments in far away cities!
( S. _& D- j7 V3 }Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
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0 K* F: v3 ?( g( j- mRESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
) \* B& ~3 ]7 `; m" FMust be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
5 G! h( |7 p1 Runtil someone needs $5.
9 L5 y+ T( p$ Q; ?Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
# }& n6 i7 o+ ]: `Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule
# ?; O% D! V, Xand be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
: s* N: C3 I7 BMust be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysterious ugly sluggish toilets
- x# x* M- B* k& Q* Nand stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
% n8 ~# G" V% a0 c! S! Acoordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
  Y. K+ A8 ~: I0 A: GMust be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
- x/ g0 D& a" H2 p: Pan embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
# Q+ f1 M3 q, W) R2 f7 a6 @half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
; h# }' \0 p4 o0 O" h% t9 y  Q) TMust always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
) |# T  N1 ~$ ^Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
, E' c/ q4 j( i) u+ l' L3 fResponsibilities also include floor maintenance and
9 i4 k, l: @$ gjanitorial work  throughout the facility.
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* e3 K" y" O$ r6 D; SPOSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
/ R. w0 s: f) w. ]. U3 U& [, kwithout complaining,constantly retraining and
# S$ Q1 P# s6 G. q+ }$ ^6 c) supdating your skills, so that those in your charge
can ultimately surpass you.
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PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately.
5 x4 V- Q* g) b2 ]2 cOn-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
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7 s" J# ?; v0 h/ H# H5 FWAGES AND COMPENSATION:
! g) G* q) D- k( d- C! u  x- wGet this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
a balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
5 r1 `. ?2 ^4 m  e6 X" Mof the assumption that college will help them
9 _4 L+ l# E1 h  l) ^) ybecome financially independent.
5 ]5 M/ ^! i  c( K' pWhen you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
! D4 I1 T. ?) ?/ F: S: o& B0 \; {you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
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: C0 S8 \7 q3 ^$ yBENEFITS:
While no health or dental insu! rance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered,
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
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+ x! l' u. L6 m, }unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses

for life if you play your cards right.
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** AND A FOOTNOTE: THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **


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+ U: x# X% O# ^4 D: a2 c" ?Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis,
8 X- Y3 B( S! c/ i) c! I3 q4 gletting them know they are appreciated
+ _9 O/ x4 `: X  S, K0 yfor the fabulous job they do...
$ R2 w5 K" m; z1 m4 H* N+ bor forward with love
5 f( A! I; y0 U, ]$ Z+ `to anyone thinking of applying for the job.
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billzhao

Great!

朝阳

i won't apply. i just think personally i can only be my own kids' parent.