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Crazy English!
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. Z" t& D- T9 j( V/ j& b+ wWe'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes; But the plural of ox became oxen not oxes.
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One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese, Yet the plural of moose should never be meese./ G+ i6 P+ M9 M$ L1 F9 X; @8 R
6 J" K6 N' x/ o* CYou may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice; Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.% q# q! J3 y- Q- y& C7 r j
! [+ o _3 j; O1 R. E9 t; dIf the plural of man is always called men, Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?% p4 e4 F6 P+ T* V) l
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If I spoke of my foot and show you my feet, And I give you a boot, would a pair be a beet?
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/ j7 m" S% L' a. C# V$ [* |If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth, Why shouldn't the plural of booths be called beet?+ K8 H5 l5 ?& B; B
- B4 ~+ o, e& T, q* D# yThen one may be that, and three would be those, Yet hat in the plural would never be hose, and the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
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( J' T# k; L gWe speak of a brother and also of brethren, But though we say mother, we never say methren.
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Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him, But imagine the feminine, she, shis and shim.
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- q) s) U* P# o: }2 VLet's face it, English is a crazy language!2 B ]) V4 B( c( b* W
5 e C0 t. `& dThere is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in a hamburger; Neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England.
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0 n3 |( A4 r$ N- fAnd why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, Grocers done groce and hammers don't hamm?4 |" l0 X5 W* Y1 t
; n7 e8 e4 s+ Q; n: f, {" ^Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends, but not one amend?9 H4 B+ M: O2 v' @4 F0 C+ J# D
2 _1 O! N8 O- |- jIf you have a bunch of odds & ends, And get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
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2 m$ x: b" ?& _8 B, }6 i! NIf teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?+ I1 [+ t. l r5 g$ H+ x# ]5 y
& ^% W! E! r! l7 eIf a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?3 l6 c) y% @1 P& n5 w
0 K" c# n2 w2 e' \& |! wIn what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?
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: q6 t) R5 y& t6 c! rShip by truck and send cargo by ship?4 J: y8 u2 U* B! r0 L
8 `( m1 u% @9 t9 G* eHave noses that run and feet that smell?& w% a, w6 N+ C" `0 r5 \
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How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?" N D/ B9 A" k# a7 U$ V0 o
t2 N* W) V0 b- [% ZYou have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your+ v) O3 b/ v) |
House burns down; in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on!. f9 [- R6 b% R
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Sometimes, I think all the folks who grew up speaking English Should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane |
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发表于 2005-4-25 10:55
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