Crazy English! Zt

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$ N" r- C4 a* x8 [Crazy English!
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We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes; But the plural of ox became oxen not oxes.
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/ m8 h. i% X' |2 S) U: _One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese, Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.

You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice; Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.
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6 l1 X& y, G8 f1 gIf the plural of man is always called men, Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?
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$ Z4 [& R: p, ~* Z2 g5 ?& PIf I spoke of my foot and show you my feet, And I give you a boot, would a pair be a beet?

7 H* }1 }) a4 X* v( yIf one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth, Why shouldn't the plural of booths be called beet?

; J: v. u" R7 l- H8 g! D1 `Then one may be that, and three would be those, Yet hat in the plural would never be hose, and the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
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- g9 w2 u3 m& O- d- xWe speak of a brother and also of brethren, But though we say mother, we never say methren.
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Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him, But imagine the feminine, she, shis and shim.
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Let's face it, English is a crazy language!
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There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in a hamburger; Neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England.
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And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, Grocers done groce and hammers don't hamm?
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5 v! ?, D9 Q& b& }5 ?* ?' ]; \Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends, but not one amend?

If you have a bunch of odds & ends, And get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
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If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?

, B& A) Z% U( u4 Q+ BIf a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
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In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?
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- p, _% |: D1 v* \$ o- AShip by truck and send cargo by ship?
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, X4 s/ I1 ]2 y4 H, y' y) o$ m1 N# nHave noses that run and feet that smell?
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How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

( X2 L& V8 P- p. C$ kYou have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your
House burns down; in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on!
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, ]! U/ {/ `3 d8 P! lSometimes, I think all the folks who grew up speaking English Should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane