Crazy English! Zt

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! H/ V0 z1 h$ }$ a0 l/ [Crazy English!
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* [$ X6 k6 b2 @( }We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes; But the plural of ox became oxen not oxes.
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8 O  A3 L8 y( m" Q! x9 pOne fowl is a goose, but two are called geese, Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.
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+ ]( L% B" l9 ~/ }) P# f3 \1 cYou may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice; Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.
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If the plural of man is always called men, Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?
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5 |9 [1 S1 C! b: R4 v' Z( @/ p$ FIf I spoke of my foot and show you my feet, And I give you a boot, would a pair be a beet?

If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth, Why shouldn't the plural of booths be called beet?
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Then one may be that, and three would be those, Yet hat in the plural would never be hose, and the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
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: x" W/ Z' ]/ \4 M8 S8 x6 M5 ?We speak of a brother and also of brethren, But though we say mother, we never say methren.
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Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him, But imagine the feminine, she, shis and shim.

/ s8 L9 X4 a/ Q. S2 uLet's face it, English is a crazy language!

9 z4 b, G! x( zThere is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in a hamburger; Neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, Grocers done groce and hammers don't hamm?

$ I) C* ?+ A' e& WDoesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends, but not one amend?
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If you have a bunch of odds & ends, And get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?

3 p8 _0 }# ~) gIf a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?
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Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?

Have noses that run and feet that smell?
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How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

( G1 w- d4 ]- hYou have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your
House burns down; in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on!
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, [3 h3 ?. l' D1 T% A7 g; FSometimes, I think all the folks who grew up speaking English Should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane