Crazy English! Zt

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Crazy English!

We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes; But the plural of ox became oxen not oxes.

One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese, Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.

! h" B/ |: e4 k  X/ jYou may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice; Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.

; Z7 l0 P8 @0 C$ LIf the plural of man is always called men, Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?

5 J0 D0 a* @/ N  e* }/ JIf I spoke of my foot and show you my feet, And I give you a boot, would a pair be a beet?

- }3 [7 K: N  B5 V8 \; HIf one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth, Why shouldn't the plural of booths be called beet?
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. H# ]. _' a6 w2 ?1 v) @% B& hThen one may be that, and three would be those, Yet hat in the plural would never be hose, and the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
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  E6 Y5 M: t" Z) ~We speak of a brother and also of brethren, But though we say mother, we never say methren.

' I' A* a" L5 iThen the masculine pronouns are he, his and him, But imagine the feminine, she, shis and shim.

Let's face it, English is a crazy language!

/ [& O' Z4 ]# K; DThere is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in a hamburger; Neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England.
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' _' q% r4 g1 WAnd why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, Grocers done groce and hammers don't hamm?
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Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends, but not one amend?
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If you have a bunch of odds & ends, And get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
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( X+ X9 r6 H/ i! X9 l" \  VIf teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?

If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
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In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?

# R* }  w5 T; X% `Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?
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7 _, P, L  _) z6 f# vHave noses that run and feet that smell?

+ H) p5 O8 n$ L* ~How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?
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You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your
House burns down; in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on!
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Sometimes, I think all the folks who grew up speaking English Should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane