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Crazy English! Zt

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发表于 2005-4-25 10:55 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
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ZT
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Crazy English!
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We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes; But the plural of ox became oxen not oxes." _: w4 V2 |  @+ a  o( d- b

$ s; z( Y. j8 m8 _9 g6 O$ G" D, u+ `One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese, Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.! ]$ d$ U* A# T
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You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice; Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.
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If the plural of man is always called men, Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?
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If I spoke of my foot and show you my feet, And I give you a boot, would a pair be a beet?* d; _) s% j6 T! |

% {7 }! L) `/ _4 tIf one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth, Why shouldn't the plural of booths be called beet?8 c' L& @4 ?2 S/ P# V' ^: n8 w
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Then one may be that, and three would be those, Yet hat in the plural would never be hose, and the plural of cat is cats, not cose.: K: W6 x4 x4 I/ q( {, H
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We speak of a brother and also of brethren, But though we say mother, we never say methren.3 e/ A9 E0 q5 B1 s, H3 v
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Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him, But imagine the feminine, she, shis and shim.
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3 D6 G, A9 z) M: o3 s* c) \Let's face it, English is a crazy language!  x0 b( P0 z  _& q3 P6 Z, ]

2 i' w& L* c4 r0 MThere is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in a hamburger; Neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England.5 e5 ^$ f' N% z- s. M; G4 g8 G

! o! q4 v2 x. G- JAnd why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, Grocers done groce and hammers don't hamm?
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0 @- K; T% C  k0 x0 S) X; e" t3 zDoesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends, but not one amend?# U  d' r+ V+ X5 d
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If you have a bunch of odds & ends, And get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
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If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?
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; Y) Q/ U+ i4 `7 v, e- V' s& AIf a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?$ I' I1 |& V) T* ?
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In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?& I' }: R5 O! X  Y, J9 A: F
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Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?2 k( i) [, @! R. U

  O5 v" F2 m/ H; C, sHave noses that run and feet that smell?; `! a7 Z4 Q- _' G. m
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How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?! w+ n' K/ a& `4 K$ _

# q# j, w8 {6 I: Z" @; [2 l' @You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your
" K" P! B$ o9 e" i7 E, n" zHouse burns down; in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on!# L2 W. a6 g  _- e0 a  _7 G) E

$ @2 e8 [( @! g& l1 h& MSometimes, I think all the folks who grew up speaking English Should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane
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