Crazy English! Zt

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Crazy English!
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1 S( L2 p) ~9 p4 {) `1 M7 XWe'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes; But the plural of ox became oxen not oxes.
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4 w" F3 \, W+ j6 I# E3 J7 ^" B+ r: e5 UOne fowl is a goose, but two are called geese, Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.
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You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice; Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.
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If the plural of man is always called men, Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?
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If I spoke of my foot and show you my feet, And I give you a boot, would a pair be a beet?
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If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth, Why shouldn't the plural of booths be called beet?
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  O9 c4 F9 R" s+ V' t( ZThen one may be that, and three would be those, Yet hat in the plural would never be hose, and the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
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2 i1 E, ~+ j, o% ^' CWe speak of a brother and also of brethren, But though we say mother, we never say methren.
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Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him, But imagine the feminine, she, shis and shim.

Let's face it, English is a crazy language!
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There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in a hamburger; Neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England.
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, x& E/ K, f& @/ N; c* DAnd why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, Grocers done groce and hammers don't hamm?
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Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends, but not one amend?

If you have a bunch of odds & ends, And get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

3 T6 `; N8 k7 E9 B2 JIf teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?

5 k: ~; M/ W/ |  c+ Z4 O2 \! N; ?) JIf a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

' W2 p' I9 G' L, Y- D6 YIn what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?
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: G/ Y# Q; b# q( o- O- eShip by truck and send cargo by ship?

# y  J3 u1 b. ^1 r' Y* A5 w# l# BHave noses that run and feet that smell?
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How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?
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- J4 R& v1 b6 R1 S8 M: BYou have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your
" a3 Q4 n" d4 R( S' G. o4 }House burns down; in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on!

Sometimes, I think all the folks who grew up speaking English Should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane