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Newfie Joke

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鲜花(1) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-10-31 10:58 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
A lawyer and a Newfie are sitting next to each other on a7 f5 h" }* Z$ {% ^2 ^  n# T+ x
long flight. The lawyer is thinking that newfies are so dumb
% f- r* M7 a9 A2 v  m7 P7 Fthat he could get over on them easy...So the lawyer asks if
4 {  Y2 O9 F5 u1 Cthe newfie would like to play a fun game. , p8 ]' b* e- s0 {1 _6 N
  
; y4 O$ j( Y( V1 H8 W, X The newfie is tired and just wants to take a nap, so
4 U( P% u- g/ T% d9 y$ ^ he politely declines and tries to catch a few winks. The5 }8 T4 e9 O) K( C2 M# R& o& Q
lawyer persists, and says that the game is a lot of fun. I
7 Q* h* T3 f: T' \! lask you a question, and if you don't know the answer,
, S1 F; _  f9 u1 P! }you pay me only $5. . g: ]% l; t! T$ u$ k- `
5 S5 B2 ~# c. U: m2 P2 K$ G, S& [
You ask me one, and if I don't know the answer, I
$ ^+ V+ D3 o7 p7 u/ b will pay you $500.
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. n0 k7 r4 N/ m+ `, I This catches the newfie's attention and to keep
+ H- c5 a" w4 o% S2 Hthe lawyer quiet, he agrees to play the game.
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The lawyer asks the first question. 'What's
0 y; u0 Q- q) R& f& Y5 cthe distance from The Earth to the Moon?'
0 D3 R! H; N8 G+ T( x. K4 w) T; x& }( k& M1 @) K8 e1 q7 W# K2 U+ l
The newfie doesn't say a word, reaches in his
( @4 F1 O$ T6 A4 ?pocket pulls out a five-dollar bill, and hands it to the+ _: G5 b  z. G9 t
lawyer.
1 Y, ~* |8 @6 U4 m1 x# y3 O
9 @. o' g: y. ^6 u, Q% h3 D) oNow, it's the newfie's turn.. K& E) p# T4 v3 e% F- _

' L) t5 q' [2 m1 U" n+ zHe asks the lawyer, 'What goes up a hill with
" g' X. ~; k! x$ |/ ?+ n2 |8 O: K# _; Athree legs, and comes down with four?' ; L; e% w8 u" D( ?7 Q( \
# o1 i3 o; v# @, s5 j& _* e6 M
The lawyer uses his laptop and searches all8 G2 k5 e0 R  b- E$ Q  k
references he could find on the Net. He sends e-mails to all* \7 i: c$ T: f! n
the smart friends he knows, all to no avail. After one hour0 L+ M6 g  N+ r! T2 y
of searching he finally gives up. He wakes up the newfie and
" D4 U2 s: a4 g1 jhands him $500. The newfie pockets the $500 and goes right3 z% U, T+ D# B8 U9 H; X' l! C
back to sleep.
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The lawyer is going nuts not knowing the answer. He* ^' r/ p6 X3 D% u3 q: z6 N
wakes the newfie up and asks, ! |/ y0 N( B0 Y
3 Y# L& ?9 M- j  T) C/ P
'Well, so what goes up a hill with three legs and9 i/ y2 O* z- C* u
comes down with four?'
' [8 C; B( E  _4 N* ?4 h6 ]3 _* U
$ p( @$ R3 N4 t3 J* LThe newfie reaches in his pocket, hands the lawyer $5
' W( n+ A( j# f: D5 N  P2 Q# cand goes back to sleep.* n+ [- m+ @1 ~  O* u, R$ u0 n6 b
" h+ H. n2 _3 ~: c7 a: |$ N
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2008-10-31 13:41 | 显示全部楼层
So funny!
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Lawyers are not that smart as we suppose, eh?
鲜花(1) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-10-31 20:17 | 显示全部楼层
so nice
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发表于 2008-11-2 08:50 | 显示全部楼层

Penis Study

老杨团队 追求完美
>>  Several years ago, Great Britain funded a study to determine why the- g2 P7 d: y  J1 W! d
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>>head of a man's penis is larger than the shaft. The study took two
. s6 \' P  D5 s8 W8 F& S8 O>>years and cost over $180,000. The results concluded that the reason
. h7 C8 t( d* R: k  I7 P& D$ n>>the head of a man's penis is larger than the shaft is to provide the / e- r+ D8 l* b4 l+ [/ n
>>man with more pleasure during sex. After the results were published, ! `4 }, `6 M+ ?* _
>>the French declared that the British were wrong and decided to conduct; h! @+ U7 c+ l

5 K3 b4 F2 o7 ?1 G  ?( X>>their own study of the same subject.  After three years of research 3 }- `0 j" Y9 P1 V1 H" _4 C2 a3 ^
>>and a cost in excess of $250,000, they concluded that the head of a
- `. f- r" h! B* H" ]1 j>>man's penis is larger than the shaft to provide the woman with more
6 c- @; F' z8 r7 e# c" x>>sexual pleasure. When the results of the French study were released,
- f9 t5 o$ s% t>>Newfoundland decided  to conduct its own study. So, after nearly three, x& f5 w7 D" ]+ f
$ |6 |5 O4 @( `) O3 ~) N# S  l  S' J
>>weeks of intensive research and a cost of around $75, the Newfie's
4 _5 L0 C# r. \( M, O& T>>study was complete. They came to the conclusion that the reason the
7 B- g( J5 I& w/ t$ f& V>>head of a man's penis is larger than the shaft is to prevent his hand
, R  u5 p8 p9 j5 @3 u: x>>from flying off and hitting him in the forehead
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发表于 2008-11-13 15:32 | 显示全部楼层
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-13 16:33 | 显示全部楼层
Great
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-17 21:36 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
newfie是什么意思?小声的问一句。
鲜花(1539) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 07:33 | 显示全部楼层
加拿大人管纽芬兰省(newfoundland)的人叫newfie.
鲜花(1539) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 07:38 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
原帖由 秋染红叶 于 2008-10-31 10:58 发表 8 w4 h: m) r% S
A lawyer and a Newfie are sitting next to each other on a8 {$ G7 ^- G" s: E# ]
long flight. The lawyer is thinking that newfies are so dumb
9 ?; ?- M: w9 K- B" `6 Qthat he could get over on them easy...So the lawyer asks if
" v8 `9 ?( [8 t% Y& A% E) t0 Nthe newfie would l ...

0 X2 P( c. T' v3 l; Z  U, g& u$ K* f" A# n% {

; k0 `% F' W4 g- N& k) F好像以前听过这个脑筋急转弯问题:
. u$ z  c3 \4 j“什么东西三只脚上山,四只脚下山“,: ?, w0 h. N8 r1 l% ~
好像答案是”人“,三只脚上山,是人拄着一根拐杖上山,然后,下山的时候,手脚并用滚下来。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 08:56 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
原帖由 眉心眉飞 于 2008-11-20 07:33 发表
6 e, D  @& r: R* ^加拿大人管纽芬兰省(newfoundland)的人叫newfie.
4 `+ r0 O5 L0 @2 c" _* Q% g* F. {
真博学,偶像啊。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 08:56 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 眉心眉飞 于 2008-11-20 07:38 发表
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9 b0 s  h: l  e/ w7 d7 N3 I
1 a8 K4 G) ]0 y' K& U& u5 i8 N2 ^5 |4 S
好像以前听过这个脑筋急转弯问题:$ s/ q- P3 C5 K0 l7 K! C
“什么东西三只脚上山,四只脚下山“,& s9 y8 L& v/ D' t' h# G) y
好像答案是”人“,三只脚上山,是人拄着一根拐杖上山,然后,下山的时候,手脚并用滚下来。
. d9 z) N& ?- I$ C0 W+ j/ a
真聪明,偶像啊
鲜花(1539) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 12:33 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 Irish 于 2008-11-20 08:56 发表
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真聪明,偶像啊
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全盘接受一下。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 13:38 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
原帖由 眉心眉飞 于 2008-11-20 12:33 发表
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# n3 j1 c8 X5 c. O7 E) ^  H全盘接受一下。
4 b% L# l3 h" b5 {( J
真虚怀若谷,偶像啊
鲜花(1539) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 14:17 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
原帖由 Irish 于 2008-11-20 13:38 发表
1 `& Q8 m# E: C1 z( R6 P% s8 n1 l- y# f: ]: _4 o& v& ?: j0 b3 z
真虚怀若谷,偶像啊

- ]' H+ f& i9 k% u& l/ [4 s6 X: S6 W) b. H# u1 z! V
5 }: ~+ v7 ~! ~9 [/ E: U7 t3 H
别把我往坏路上领啊。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 14:25 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 眉心眉飞 于 2008-11-20 14:17 发表 6 i& E5 l3 Y7 e. |
4 E5 p% U, D4 w1 A$ c. {, R$ t' N, e
; {  `+ l( B5 d8 X

) d  h' Q- U. D6 L5 N别把我往坏路上领啊。
4 |! g/ q, Q: N5 ~5 e" j3 j' ]
你已经在路上了
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 23:56 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 眉心眉飞 于 2008-11-20 07:33 发表 1 O3 H- I  z8 a( n2 R6 t: I
加拿大人管纽芬兰省(newfoundland)的人叫newfie.

8 b# V% _+ G$ X; b多谢了,我查字典都没有查出来,后来在网上搜,搜出这个意思来,觉得不可信,原来真是这个意思。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 23:57 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
原帖由 Irish 于 2008-11-20 08:56 发表 5 l$ R- [% n2 l# _/ D. I% l+ @$ o
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真博学,偶像啊。
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大学教授哦,能不剥削?
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-21 11:21 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 蓝色闪蝶 于 2008-11-20 23:57 发表 # O. H9 l- g2 Q$ n8 E

4 [3 L6 G3 a! r& I; `, R. L( J大学教授哦,能不剥削?

$ y6 `% v& H# D" G她是大学教瘦?) ~  K9 I- ^# G  w/ _4 {# N
大学教胖还差不多 - g* T( s; f6 J! l3 D
她是NIBBLER(刚学来的,我同事居然说我也是
鲜花(1539) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-21 12:41 | 显示全部楼层
紧张的四下张望,你谁呀?貌似身边被安插了特务了。
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发表于 2008-11-21 13:21 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
原帖由 眉心眉飞 于 2008-11-21 12:41 发表
/ _7 [# O) o" R( l) c紧张的四下张望,你谁呀?貌似身边被安插了特务了。
) q+ _6 S* c1 f1 u  N# C
说话真不动听 ,那叫卧底,无间道。
鲜花(1) 鸡蛋(0)
 楼主| 发表于 2008-11-21 21:21 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 眉心眉飞 于 2008-11-21 12:41 发表
; \  J3 ?" K2 m$ c( G( P8 F* U紧张的四下张望,你谁呀?貌似身边被安插了特务了。
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6 n4 s7 v; [, Z- F7 ]! C: t哈哈,你们在这开小会呢
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