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Newfie Joke

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发表于 2008-10-31 10:58 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
A lawyer and a Newfie are sitting next to each other on a
5 `9 R+ j( {1 y3 U5 i/ blong flight. The lawyer is thinking that newfies are so dumb
& |! u4 c- _# R& V6 Qthat he could get over on them easy...So the lawyer asks if
1 a+ h5 f: `- e: F9 S# z- `the newfie would like to play a fun game. / i2 C- T( H% F4 ^- l" _2 S
  
1 V9 e! @: E0 j" O$ U8 ]/ T5 d The newfie is tired and just wants to take a nap, so( J6 u5 n  d5 Q. ^8 ]& x# @
he politely declines and tries to catch a few winks. The- p' l5 r7 y. l% e% a! `5 A
lawyer persists, and says that the game is a lot of fun. I
7 a, e4 i( u2 s! |5 {; e0 \1 Z4 Vask you a question, and if you don't know the answer,
9 E2 h' v2 F9 y* ^* h( j' e  a, Wyou pay me only $5.
, s- [" d* H4 B) q: e. P- i1 Z 8 @0 D' ^. n2 @/ P
You ask me one, and if I don't know the answer, I' X- ^5 V" k9 W; I9 h" ]* }+ C. S
will pay you $500.
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9 i2 O" w0 j9 D% D; `/ U) } This catches the newfie's attention and to keep" P4 b  @9 c) X% z2 i+ K: w
the lawyer quiet, he agrees to play the game. & F" y3 G$ l. j6 c4 b* Y6 J- z

: _" O! z) q- k* w4 e& GThe lawyer asks the first question. 'What's) ^* M$ X4 q( |" z
the distance from The Earth to the Moon?' ; t# L6 Y% m: k
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The newfie doesn't say a word, reaches in his( |' f% w4 x% G$ |% Y+ h1 v
pocket pulls out a five-dollar bill, and hands it to the
5 o8 O$ C. i& V/ Z; l; vlawyer. 3 I. a( Y: L1 k
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Now, it's the newfie's turn.
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He asks the lawyer, 'What goes up a hill with
  i. C( u* r4 Z/ l/ P" hthree legs, and comes down with four?'
. G' ]( z, j4 r+ b# i
$ R7 n9 G! l% v. O# vThe lawyer uses his laptop and searches all
* r  n% |- I! X; U5 Jreferences he could find on the Net. He sends e-mails to all( A5 G$ K' E1 @3 a2 U& r9 O( `
the smart friends he knows, all to no avail. After one hour6 ]  G9 d+ |& V3 m, E- S, N
of searching he finally gives up. He wakes up the newfie and' I) a* C0 f+ i5 F' X! e
hands him $500. The newfie pockets the $500 and goes right
: B7 ~/ i+ j- wback to sleep.
+ I$ m2 r8 A/ S& W. K! W! Z  M; C1 u, F, S9 `2 @4 N5 p
The lawyer is going nuts not knowing the answer. He
2 q; H! Z! d* Ewakes the newfie up and asks, 4 p8 \0 v2 X, x7 F

% K5 ?9 k2 Y' u( d2 Z'Well, so what goes up a hill with three legs and
  ~/ P. V9 b8 S2 ocomes down with four?' 7 E% p5 l8 P8 |0 a5 ]/ \# X

2 n3 H1 T6 E  e, QThe newfie reaches in his pocket, hands the lawyer $5  @% `! `/ V3 a$ X1 k. M
and goes back to sleep.% y4 s8 L- U/ i0 J: I7 x

3 l* Y) I7 }2 F
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2008-10-31 13:41 | 显示全部楼层
So funny!' X) p& i1 R. i  m( e. s  T- I
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Lawyers are not that smart as we suppose, eh?
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发表于 2008-10-31 20:17 | 显示全部楼层
so nice
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发表于 2008-11-2 08:50 | 显示全部楼层

Penis Study

老杨团队 追求完美
>>  Several years ago, Great Britain funded a study to determine why the$ Y* m0 s% A! T9 R, [
7 T0 D1 }" @& e& d* j. Y9 C
>>head of a man's penis is larger than the shaft. The study took two
! l. R5 O# @$ ?/ X+ d# G2 ]% f( c>>years and cost over $180,000. The results concluded that the reason   j* t0 E4 e3 c  M' b
>>the head of a man's penis is larger than the shaft is to provide the 3 U4 @1 r9 h4 D5 x
>>man with more pleasure during sex. After the results were published, : V( M; l# s6 |
>>the French declared that the British were wrong and decided to conduct
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8 p- Z4 C, G: H' ^2 q- `& }* v% M>>their own study of the same subject.  After three years of research
. J- w# v4 _/ A7 i* M3 ~5 h>>and a cost in excess of $250,000, they concluded that the head of a
6 @, ]8 j( d4 r/ D9 ?. w5 _* `- W>>man's penis is larger than the shaft to provide the woman with more
. [3 p) `, P! j% D+ X& F0 B>>sexual pleasure. When the results of the French study were released, 5 G3 j5 x9 k9 i& O% z
>>Newfoundland decided  to conduct its own study. So, after nearly three* M" A( n9 N3 `$ M! E
9 A! e7 M5 ^/ P9 S* @
>>weeks of intensive research and a cost of around $75, the Newfie's
, P0 r$ Z. Z! M+ f9 m8 }  y>>study was complete. They came to the conclusion that the reason the
: b% I9 {% j4 ~+ N# `+ Y; T>>head of a man's penis is larger than the shaft is to prevent his hand
7 d" y. p$ H+ b>>from flying off and hitting him in the forehead
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发表于 2008-11-13 15:32 | 显示全部楼层
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发表于 2008-11-13 16:33 | 显示全部楼层
Great
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发表于 2008-11-17 21:36 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
newfie是什么意思?小声的问一句。
鲜花(1539) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 07:33 | 显示全部楼层
加拿大人管纽芬兰省(newfoundland)的人叫newfie.
鲜花(1539) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 07:38 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
原帖由 秋染红叶 于 2008-10-31 10:58 发表
6 N) I. S) H0 J& ^A lawyer and a Newfie are sitting next to each other on a0 l2 L. z( v* o+ L0 I% i3 Z0 g
long flight. The lawyer is thinking that newfies are so dumb
; D" m  V( ]; P' D% othat he could get over on them easy...So the lawyer asks if; Z4 W# q8 p7 o1 p2 z! f5 _
the newfie would l ...

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+ g" Q$ [7 y1 t$ }$ x, r7 Y! ]$ |* I- a" ~/ [2 a3 X
好像以前听过这个脑筋急转弯问题:
% ?% |% J$ H% U/ T( e6 @2 a+ t“什么东西三只脚上山,四只脚下山“,
* A8 L/ H) h7 h: T* ]好像答案是”人“,三只脚上山,是人拄着一根拐杖上山,然后,下山的时候,手脚并用滚下来。
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发表于 2008-11-20 08:56 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
原帖由 眉心眉飞 于 2008-11-20 07:33 发表
0 @$ L0 P; Q7 E6 ~$ G! y6 K加拿大人管纽芬兰省(newfoundland)的人叫newfie.

3 c* b+ v  F+ s真博学,偶像啊。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 08:56 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 眉心眉飞 于 2008-11-20 07:38 发表 6 X1 a1 V$ r) b; f
* D9 J: P1 b; O+ @6 a; s# d

- Z8 S+ T; M1 B: `, J
5 ~9 C9 y) ]! X! f7 [. \" X1 B+ \好像以前听过这个脑筋急转弯问题:
6 w! _1 J- l: ]“什么东西三只脚上山,四只脚下山“,- `  P0 o# F$ n( q" k+ ~+ H& c
好像答案是”人“,三只脚上山,是人拄着一根拐杖上山,然后,下山的时候,手脚并用滚下来。
: u' ^# u  v* c) [. C$ @
真聪明,偶像啊
鲜花(1539) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 12:33 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 Irish 于 2008-11-20 08:56 发表
( _. [) U; r0 B2 L; E: @+ \( @  b" X) J1 C3 d9 N
真聪明,偶像啊
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7 l: [4 ^5 q, G( k7 V1 F# v全盘接受一下。
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发表于 2008-11-20 13:38 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
原帖由 眉心眉飞 于 2008-11-20 12:33 发表
* k6 ~+ A: m7 T  ?& ?; n/ q8 ]
1 u4 T4 w) J& v
4 Q& L4 v6 U! g5 K& d  B- x全盘接受一下。
* A( e9 O! a& x: @  T* [
真虚怀若谷,偶像啊
鲜花(1539) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 14:17 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
原帖由 Irish 于 2008-11-20 13:38 发表
) i4 n; K( T! o
3 B) E$ F8 x% r; N: [( N. ^真虚怀若谷,偶像啊
! q7 s/ L# T4 G2 ^( Y

# N. c, l0 U1 G" `" t( v' q4 }. Z* K
+ z, o7 `  b8 s2 P; P1 [2 A别把我往坏路上领啊。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 14:25 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 眉心眉飞 于 2008-11-20 14:17 发表
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2 w# G: J" V/ C2 K/ v8 P6 d0 K$ c0 r  a& P" c1 e; x  _3 D$ O9 d
别把我往坏路上领啊。

, x+ c7 b  _# i+ X) s你已经在路上了
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发表于 2008-11-20 23:56 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 眉心眉飞 于 2008-11-20 07:33 发表
* P/ {- F- _( N0 D加拿大人管纽芬兰省(newfoundland)的人叫newfie.
5 }- Y- m; H; {( Z* C
多谢了,我查字典都没有查出来,后来在网上搜,搜出这个意思来,觉得不可信,原来真是这个意思。
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发表于 2008-11-20 23:57 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
原帖由 Irish 于 2008-11-20 08:56 发表
6 c* }9 u! h; U, G  L8 T# S+ G! o! P7 b* E2 I' }. d0 x
真博学,偶像啊。

4 f5 g& i4 r7 q* p: H, _* M+ Q大学教授哦,能不剥削?
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发表于 2008-11-21 11:21 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 蓝色闪蝶 于 2008-11-20 23:57 发表 : b& O+ ]6 t1 x3 \% g7 z! _

. [& i2 q- ]5 w! X6 U0 g( y大学教授哦,能不剥削?
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她是大学教瘦?
1 {% |7 i- f% l4 h  M大学教胖还差不多 1 [) C" b' @" j
她是NIBBLER(刚学来的,我同事居然说我也是
鲜花(1539) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-21 12:41 | 显示全部楼层
紧张的四下张望,你谁呀?貌似身边被安插了特务了。
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发表于 2008-11-21 13:21 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
原帖由 眉心眉飞 于 2008-11-21 12:41 发表 " ?  v8 I+ P5 @& F* Q" x* K
紧张的四下张望,你谁呀?貌似身边被安插了特务了。
9 O+ l2 C" `4 o9 G* h1 e
说话真不动听 ,那叫卧底,无间道。
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-11-21 21:21 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 眉心眉飞 于 2008-11-21 12:41 发表
5 V8 t1 D# R- j( H/ v紧张的四下张望,你谁呀?貌似身边被安插了特务了。
% v) z8 \0 t9 U

% S7 m! a* j/ ^; {* y/ l哈哈,你们在这开小会呢
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