埃德蒙顿华人社区-Edmonton China

 找回密码
 注册
查看: 5425|回复: 20

Newfie Joke

[复制链接]
鲜花(1) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-10-31 10:58 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
A lawyer and a Newfie are sitting next to each other on a
# f- V7 h! X5 s1 v; Zlong flight. The lawyer is thinking that newfies are so dumb; i4 n( K- S2 M- l5 n
that he could get over on them easy...So the lawyer asks if: f; T7 U# @' a2 i1 ~/ {# u$ G" Y
the newfie would like to play a fun game.
, d% u2 W( H8 q  
! ~0 c6 k; |, p5 N The newfie is tired and just wants to take a nap, so
! w+ z; @5 x4 H, I he politely declines and tries to catch a few winks. The+ E  l3 N& @/ |8 H
lawyer persists, and says that the game is a lot of fun. I' ~+ S9 v6 v# A" n! \
ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer,
6 h4 {5 `& B" G9 lyou pay me only $5.
  H$ o& {  B& O* J 8 O# ^% H) k4 X5 V
You ask me one, and if I don't know the answer, I& v% ^; F, D- X
will pay you $500. 3 V- _3 J$ u- k4 _5 @% S
1 W; j6 L5 C8 R! A0 `0 l2 c
This catches the newfie's attention and to keep
. P  K, N; b4 ?# ^. mthe lawyer quiet, he agrees to play the game. 7 R/ T! W9 S* y. v; k" J+ I  G

  k0 Z$ X2 B; h8 \The lawyer asks the first question. 'What's2 q) U: w& \/ R  y5 Y
the distance from The Earth to the Moon?'
: _  @% i1 B, t0 z! {
* C& G4 A8 w& k/ ]/ ]9 g- g" mThe newfie doesn't say a word, reaches in his; q8 t5 t, e8 T  B
pocket pulls out a five-dollar bill, and hands it to the
5 o( C8 [" L7 g4 h4 Slawyer.
) ~! d! E& K2 b; p4 ?* ~! T, E0 g
# a) Q. |! o9 kNow, it's the newfie's turn.
7 P5 c; K' q: g* G
) N. @7 |: w; J* }% M, h: N) s& h$ bHe asks the lawyer, 'What goes up a hill with9 f* j8 a# B. l7 z; t
three legs, and comes down with four?'
7 T, Z% R. Z  {- u8 U; r7 X% t! U% F3 @9 C9 N/ v
The lawyer uses his laptop and searches all
* y2 w2 `; w1 r2 C# rreferences he could find on the Net. He sends e-mails to all
4 W, c6 ]- k' \the smart friends he knows, all to no avail. After one hour5 g% A$ g% z; M3 N
of searching he finally gives up. He wakes up the newfie and
6 {, B8 W5 M( j5 d- _! e0 i. qhands him $500. The newfie pockets the $500 and goes right
) d2 v& Z! G3 b+ D5 `back to sleep.
) {9 k' S' j7 v3 e% O% m
  E, y  G9 n" l1 Y, x$ q( i9 S- OThe lawyer is going nuts not knowing the answer. He& _: T5 o% d/ w' w/ w2 J3 U
wakes the newfie up and asks,
" o9 ?: F! v' L" f( h1 H% A! X/ y4 i) X7 e9 V% C
'Well, so what goes up a hill with three legs and& D" h- N; C* ]' U* z0 A4 }9 }  `
comes down with four?'
) u) h6 W* [2 {' I& Q9 u/ r2 w0 t; d7 ~# N6 |& k9 \
The newfie reaches in his pocket, hands the lawyer $50 N: ~6 X. ?; k& \$ |
and goes back to sleep.' I+ I  s- E: f7 r
) Z! p$ i: C0 ?
鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2008-10-31 13:41 | 显示全部楼层
So funny!
  ~" D' @  V% ]: N( C: y3 }( |: _* ]% B7 x9 n
Lawyers are not that smart as we suppose, eh?
鲜花(1) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-10-31 20:17 | 显示全部楼层
so nice
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-2 08:50 | 显示全部楼层

Penis Study

老杨团队 追求完美
>>  Several years ago, Great Britain funded a study to determine why the
: `, ?* a2 ~$ I2 b5 h0 W( _% W2 ~- p
>>head of a man's penis is larger than the shaft. The study took two , c% l. M* {$ v8 t5 Z$ N( H0 }
>>years and cost over $180,000. The results concluded that the reason
# z3 u8 H$ c- Y- T. }. C- u+ E>>the head of a man's penis is larger than the shaft is to provide the ' P! f+ f: m/ x
>>man with more pleasure during sex. After the results were published,
1 z8 W9 h' ~9 h5 f# z0 A>>the French declared that the British were wrong and decided to conduct- s% d1 }$ {+ H$ [
2 h4 Y2 `; o8 @" d# j
>>their own study of the same subject.  After three years of research
& R# e9 h$ ?# {+ c  {>>and a cost in excess of $250,000, they concluded that the head of a / x* j, S) M" g2 i# i
>>man's penis is larger than the shaft to provide the woman with more
# A4 Z' @7 X+ u>>sexual pleasure. When the results of the French study were released, 6 T+ r5 f4 [" Y, `
>>Newfoundland decided  to conduct its own study. So, after nearly three! _/ x: S0 q' Q- Z
1 P0 x6 x) a. L# X* Q* S; f) F
>>weeks of intensive research and a cost of around $75, the Newfie's
" [' U  g% a! T>>study was complete. They came to the conclusion that the reason the 9 b4 [- \) s8 N1 Z4 U
>>head of a man's penis is larger than the shaft is to prevent his hand ; g' o, L6 B$ C1 F
>>from flying off and hitting him in the forehead
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-13 15:32 | 显示全部楼层
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-13 16:33 | 显示全部楼层
Great
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-17 21:36 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
newfie是什么意思?小声的问一句。
鲜花(1539) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 07:33 | 显示全部楼层
加拿大人管纽芬兰省(newfoundland)的人叫newfie.
鲜花(1539) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 07:38 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
原帖由 秋染红叶 于 2008-10-31 10:58 发表   d8 ?6 d$ x/ v9 l, C) W8 v2 x
A lawyer and a Newfie are sitting next to each other on a
! g! W9 E8 M% C  S1 }/ Z" nlong flight. The lawyer is thinking that newfies are so dumb. k1 m. _. z' A6 b& |
that he could get over on them easy...So the lawyer asks if
. W: S! R/ Y% |# y% @5 o6 r6 Ythe newfie would l ...
$ S6 F7 e/ H+ r

) o7 l( B" g' c% ~0 P- a  g) C9 |4 v4 Y. L7 j- _
好像以前听过这个脑筋急转弯问题:$ v4 m2 v. s* t/ e/ K
“什么东西三只脚上山,四只脚下山“," i; h$ R1 w: x) N0 v. [4 H. v0 [
好像答案是”人“,三只脚上山,是人拄着一根拐杖上山,然后,下山的时候,手脚并用滚下来。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 08:56 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
原帖由 眉心眉飞 于 2008-11-20 07:33 发表
' L0 D5 h1 K4 T, C9 @加拿大人管纽芬兰省(newfoundland)的人叫newfie.
/ R2 A' Q$ I9 ]! }
真博学,偶像啊。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 08:56 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 眉心眉飞 于 2008-11-20 07:38 发表 9 E9 w1 |$ d: X

* \! K' k9 I  h  J: t0 q: y9 C$ E; H  s4 w6 K! Y6 C. r

: ~+ ^+ d. s4 B. K4 @2 ]; i好像以前听过这个脑筋急转弯问题:
% K5 D4 }6 _% z9 j2 m& V“什么东西三只脚上山,四只脚下山“,5 }9 @4 e: N& s; p7 b9 k
好像答案是”人“,三只脚上山,是人拄着一根拐杖上山,然后,下山的时候,手脚并用滚下来。
+ X. T! J! N3 z4 T* G
真聪明,偶像啊
鲜花(1539) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 12:33 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 Irish 于 2008-11-20 08:56 发表 : {) Y6 o$ |. @; t

# |/ h. `% Z* s1 D9 x4 \真聪明,偶像啊
& y5 i! g: y/ ~% F! x
; d% t, v: D: `7 \" p* x
全盘接受一下。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 13:38 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
原帖由 眉心眉飞 于 2008-11-20 12:33 发表 1 L0 O! X9 r( h& ~$ J4 D8 ?9 |
$ q7 |1 ^7 D4 H& {& ]
5 ^  N3 n, P0 H) t) E- A3 R, r+ p
全盘接受一下。

2 E. d0 J  x) a0 D真虚怀若谷,偶像啊
鲜花(1539) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 14:17 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
原帖由 Irish 于 2008-11-20 13:38 发表
! c" a' [3 w  Y! {! Z/ q
, f/ p1 O# H' E$ g4 x真虚怀若谷,偶像啊

8 X! N( {& Z) f
4 r+ N8 k$ `' k# f. I/ [; L2 t  [3 M  h6 O+ `& {
别把我往坏路上领啊。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 14:25 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 眉心眉飞 于 2008-11-20 14:17 发表 - Y& G1 d& c9 j+ A' n; f

& i5 W1 ^5 L, x0 r3 Q" S+ a% X: P8 q/ m
* `0 R$ R- D1 ~: ~
别把我往坏路上领啊。
2 \% ]# }  o2 b$ W6 o7 S* \8 ^
你已经在路上了
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 23:56 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 眉心眉飞 于 2008-11-20 07:33 发表
* Q1 h1 S9 X# o4 U: }9 C6 c0 E加拿大人管纽芬兰省(newfoundland)的人叫newfie.
0 x( ^7 w) t, I! W3 W( Z
多谢了,我查字典都没有查出来,后来在网上搜,搜出这个意思来,觉得不可信,原来真是这个意思。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 23:57 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
原帖由 Irish 于 2008-11-20 08:56 发表
# j1 X3 c+ F' P9 }9 f
$ R9 s5 t* v3 ]5 |8 N, A! ]+ r  Y真博学,偶像啊。

3 X( D& _: B- I9 L) z' X大学教授哦,能不剥削?
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-21 11:21 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 蓝色闪蝶 于 2008-11-20 23:57 发表 ! {6 J1 }1 q$ X* n! R+ N* i
. v0 Z& A; Z8 E1 e) O; P
大学教授哦,能不剥削?
  V: H" K' I3 ?
她是大学教瘦?
' n' O$ A5 D+ o7 ~5 h大学教胖还差不多
6 a! z1 l! E) o她是NIBBLER(刚学来的,我同事居然说我也是
鲜花(1539) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-21 12:41 | 显示全部楼层
紧张的四下张望,你谁呀?貌似身边被安插了特务了。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-21 13:21 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
原帖由 眉心眉飞 于 2008-11-21 12:41 发表 * [. ~7 W7 }1 R
紧张的四下张望,你谁呀?貌似身边被安插了特务了。

/ ~. g, _$ q/ i3 {说话真不动听 ,那叫卧底,无间道。
鲜花(1) 鸡蛋(0)
 楼主| 发表于 2008-11-21 21:21 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 眉心眉飞 于 2008-11-21 12:41 发表
6 i" {8 w  n) F: O" d& ?# K紧张的四下张望,你谁呀?貌似身边被安插了特务了。

% U) R6 H0 A; C7 C1 F9 t1 I) Y4 c2 g2 M, D, g
哈哈,你们在这开小会呢
您需要登录后才可以回帖 登录 | 注册

本版积分规则

联系我们|小黑屋|手机版|Archiver|埃德蒙顿中文网

GMT-7, 2026-5-26 18:24 , Processed in 0.168176 second(s), 27 queries , Gzip On, APC On.

Powered by Discuz! X3.4

Copyright © 2001-2021, Tencent Cloud.

快速回复 返回顶部 返回列表