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Newfie Joke

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鲜花(1) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-10-31 10:58 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
A lawyer and a Newfie are sitting next to each other on a
" j" ~9 `/ O+ K4 U. \* Ulong flight. The lawyer is thinking that newfies are so dumb
4 b# D9 o# ^, W; x: [4 lthat he could get over on them easy...So the lawyer asks if) j; F( h" ^% O5 e5 v+ n
the newfie would like to play a fun game.
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The newfie is tired and just wants to take a nap, so. J% C3 O2 D7 c% r
he politely declines and tries to catch a few winks. The
2 A3 H7 p3 |+ h" c$ l$ \6 Q- C3 n& d lawyer persists, and says that the game is a lot of fun. I- s8 @) A, n# [7 N. ]/ J
ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer,
+ W7 I, J5 d; c( y% \you pay me only $5. # i% X$ l% u6 C
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You ask me one, and if I don't know the answer, I4 }& R/ z# {- }% b( K) l$ h( m
will pay you $500. 0 I/ w; H$ m* d, k5 Y8 c, W

& k) ?) S. u, {  e This catches the newfie's attention and to keep  G2 _3 w! C: y% l* j1 q8 p
the lawyer quiet, he agrees to play the game. 8 ~1 l* U$ x& h- _  \) C

" ^- S  g$ o) y1 R7 lThe lawyer asks the first question. 'What's
! i+ \- w: r/ y4 n  t7 vthe distance from The Earth to the Moon?'
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$ u, Y4 V9 V3 G$ U; XThe newfie doesn't say a word, reaches in his
3 f' U: W  J( @( j5 V4 ~. N. y6 C; |pocket pulls out a five-dollar bill, and hands it to the
( Y. w( x8 G0 w# F& B$ ~lawyer. ' j1 i# q2 S9 Q6 `

$ D, X1 q1 f7 VNow, it's the newfie's turn.
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, u8 j# L, f& i0 g' a5 n& D. lHe asks the lawyer, 'What goes up a hill with0 G, F- R- R0 j; y  x7 R
three legs, and comes down with four?' : {; V5 R* ^& G9 g+ |2 w: d

- C  ^/ L8 R% Q3 \The lawyer uses his laptop and searches all& s" x: H$ s- O- [5 x9 G6 M
references he could find on the Net. He sends e-mails to all
# x9 _( W. U7 D) M  }% hthe smart friends he knows, all to no avail. After one hour
9 M5 s) V* }! P: I: Bof searching he finally gives up. He wakes up the newfie and
5 r3 Q3 ^4 H* y, s, w3 _3 S5 m. Ahands him $500. The newfie pockets the $500 and goes right- r" `) `$ f. s& P& x+ p
back to sleep.
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The lawyer is going nuts not knowing the answer. He
2 ^$ a1 G, P% @- _$ cwakes the newfie up and asks,
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& v9 z( K5 T7 T, b6 i0 u8 l'Well, so what goes up a hill with three legs and" R, a+ m) H3 ~* ?4 [
comes down with four?'
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The newfie reaches in his pocket, hands the lawyer $5
. X9 k, P- h4 s8 m( A7 k7 pand goes back to sleep.* u, [1 W: S0 o

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鲜花(152) 鸡蛋(1)
发表于 2008-10-31 13:41 | 显示全部楼层
So funny!* v/ N+ ]+ K7 H' u% s7 ?6 M& g
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Lawyers are not that smart as we suppose, eh?
鲜花(1) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-10-31 20:17 | 显示全部楼层
so nice
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发表于 2008-11-2 08:50 | 显示全部楼层

Penis Study

老杨团队 追求完美
>>  Several years ago, Great Britain funded a study to determine why the
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>>head of a man's penis is larger than the shaft. The study took two
& I6 Q3 S" E& n( k: F3 @>>years and cost over $180,000. The results concluded that the reason . Z4 {& k- D8 p
>>the head of a man's penis is larger than the shaft is to provide the
: v3 l* p/ u; [8 A% h6 E8 @" o>>man with more pleasure during sex. After the results were published,
" Y3 w% f6 E7 B' Y) U% @. q+ y! U>>the French declared that the British were wrong and decided to conduct) j1 B' r$ c" s" V4 h7 p: o

% a* y. z# f$ l3 V+ P8 k  G, Q>>their own study of the same subject.  After three years of research ! R* _3 Y3 N, J% {/ E
>>and a cost in excess of $250,000, they concluded that the head of a / N7 V; [: r+ _) s  B
>>man's penis is larger than the shaft to provide the woman with more
3 R% U. d: |, E/ e8 I4 y>>sexual pleasure. When the results of the French study were released,
# A. N4 \  |  o+ O>>Newfoundland decided  to conduct its own study. So, after nearly three0 i% W( J: u; }; l: H4 l
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>>weeks of intensive research and a cost of around $75, the Newfie's 4 e6 R0 _  k1 v1 N! m# V8 m
>>study was complete. They came to the conclusion that the reason the
' m1 k& D: I, i& x2 c>>head of a man's penis is larger than the shaft is to prevent his hand
1 ]! s  x0 t8 z  t% m* ^>>from flying off and hitting him in the forehead
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发表于 2008-11-13 15:32 | 显示全部楼层
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-13 16:33 | 显示全部楼层
Great
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发表于 2008-11-17 21:36 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
newfie是什么意思?小声的问一句。
鲜花(1539) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 07:33 | 显示全部楼层
加拿大人管纽芬兰省(newfoundland)的人叫newfie.
鲜花(1539) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 07:38 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 秋染红叶 于 2008-10-31 10:58 发表
. i% e4 ~0 ^' m; g& f' zA lawyer and a Newfie are sitting next to each other on a
1 Z& b5 @9 N/ O+ |( `, `' b) dlong flight. The lawyer is thinking that newfies are so dumb: ]$ ?9 I( `" c# ?- b0 b2 I
that he could get over on them easy...So the lawyer asks if$ i, ~/ e: N5 d  _
the newfie would l ...
) K, @* A% H# c+ p0 g7 `

" u! u6 o- O5 p1 G& j
2 g% f2 Q( a8 q- m好像以前听过这个脑筋急转弯问题:
. e5 B6 w& e4 k+ s“什么东西三只脚上山,四只脚下山“,
6 m: C' j, M0 @好像答案是”人“,三只脚上山,是人拄着一根拐杖上山,然后,下山的时候,手脚并用滚下来。
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发表于 2008-11-20 08:56 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
原帖由 眉心眉飞 于 2008-11-20 07:33 发表
- q) s. R/ ?& D, {  R# y" P加拿大人管纽芬兰省(newfoundland)的人叫newfie.
1 z( Z% `* [8 I4 ^' V, s
真博学,偶像啊。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 08:56 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 眉心眉飞 于 2008-11-20 07:38 发表
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! a! a. [9 \  ~7 ^9 j1 R  w2 j
* e; H( M: Q5 g+ x- q& _, w0 w
好像以前听过这个脑筋急转弯问题:" b' F  ^- t; ?7 B5 S3 I
“什么东西三只脚上山,四只脚下山“,# k4 Z3 @0 Z, b3 M1 u6 u' D
好像答案是”人“,三只脚上山,是人拄着一根拐杖上山,然后,下山的时候,手脚并用滚下来。
2 p& |- K6 ~- g: Z( a
真聪明,偶像啊
鲜花(1539) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 12:33 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 Irish 于 2008-11-20 08:56 发表
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$ g+ s& _! @0 t$ m真聪明,偶像啊
+ ?5 u: @; W% h+ ?* E, u

7 W! ?! W7 n  O全盘接受一下。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 13:38 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
原帖由 眉心眉飞 于 2008-11-20 12:33 发表 5 Q4 K! p3 T& S  [% ?2 d: ?

5 `# [8 {1 ^/ ?; t7 D
* D0 Q2 f1 ?7 I& Y' ]全盘接受一下。

/ m9 v' D# d$ w" t$ B+ S真虚怀若谷,偶像啊
鲜花(1539) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 14:17 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
原帖由 Irish 于 2008-11-20 13:38 发表 ! H5 f/ U0 H# `1 K
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真虚怀若谷,偶像啊

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$ F& Z2 k& j- f- K
; S: t+ }) C; R5 D) W别把我往坏路上领啊。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 14:25 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 眉心眉飞 于 2008-11-20 14:17 发表
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+ x8 n' C0 I( j1 g; w5 @- t$ ]- s. h5 G: K: {. }8 y( _
别把我往坏路上领啊。

. `$ i  F2 h1 Q- M你已经在路上了
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发表于 2008-11-20 23:56 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 眉心眉飞 于 2008-11-20 07:33 发表 / X- i3 Y$ d. _7 i6 x) y( K
加拿大人管纽芬兰省(newfoundland)的人叫newfie.

! U* H1 }, `; Q多谢了,我查字典都没有查出来,后来在网上搜,搜出这个意思来,觉得不可信,原来真是这个意思。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-20 23:57 | 显示全部楼层
同言同羽 置业良晨
原帖由 Irish 于 2008-11-20 08:56 发表 " l5 r1 J. V  B8 _' e

4 `6 d1 ?3 I. d% o真博学,偶像啊。
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大学教授哦,能不剥削?
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-21 11:21 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 蓝色闪蝶 于 2008-11-20 23:57 发表 # T* p: n) L4 b# z; a8 d
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大学教授哦,能不剥削?

; D7 c# |9 |2 b2 ]' o1 d* e她是大学教瘦?
4 G7 Q8 p: h# Z4 v大学教胖还差不多 " w4 H/ }! A7 M, O
她是NIBBLER(刚学来的,我同事居然说我也是
鲜花(1539) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-21 12:41 | 显示全部楼层
紧张的四下张望,你谁呀?貌似身边被安插了特务了。
鲜花(0) 鸡蛋(0)
发表于 2008-11-21 13:21 | 显示全部楼层
老杨团队,追求完美;客户至上,服务到位!
原帖由 眉心眉飞 于 2008-11-21 12:41 发表 / V8 o2 l; c$ a* }8 C! `
紧张的四下张望,你谁呀?貌似身边被安插了特务了。
# [4 `  b7 c4 R, m6 C/ W$ y' j
说话真不动听 ,那叫卧底,无间道。
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 楼主| 发表于 2008-11-21 21:21 | 显示全部楼层
原帖由 眉心眉飞 于 2008-11-21 12:41 发表 # Q, \4 m5 t. g! W. }- U
紧张的四下张望,你谁呀?貌似身边被安插了特务了。

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* \  x0 s& V6 n1 |哈哈,你们在这开小会呢
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