 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : 2 }8 R& `7 h5 t5 `' {
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Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.5 ^2 z) x: g% O2 u6 c; X) h
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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; n: ]+ y$ S# \Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- $ P0 N. O% w6 ~+ m
make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc., Q8 ~! q2 ^: x
0 ?' z+ G0 g. ]' D/ A* P9 }; oGet in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. 4 x( u; y2 P1 s# e. @
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.1 W5 ]6 {/ `8 [" T
! H( p1 D8 |# H7 u* fCondition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.." {2 c" i: ~& {+ d# X* y, q
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
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/ T6 y. T9 ?1 k7 KRinse conditioner off hair.
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Shave armpits and legs.0 B: m4 Q$ l1 t3 L/ f# k3 c" C
& F$ F8 L! p v6 ?5 H7 k8 fTurn off shower.
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% A A! k3 j! ^0 N2 kSqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower.3 J; H/ `' q( W- Y- Z9 |" U
7 R6 K; x# t. A" Y5 O2 c3 ^Spray mold spots with Tilex. $ U A1 J# e& \0 T' h
/ V3 L% @& b/ D& ~- M+ @Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. : f3 b5 Z3 U# W G! G
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Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. 7 K. Z1 b: a% Q. _; C6 H
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. p0 N9 T) k' x
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
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Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. * {7 x( L, y; P0 _$ ^8 _3 k
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Walk naked to the bathroom.
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l1 `& F4 c- A1 f& @If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. R: K( b) _5 l! ?1 T2 g" E
- x6 |" S' G x: t5 R) q) nLook at your manly physique in the mirror. / \2 l; W- Q: x
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
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+ f8 L2 M7 D+ {) b# R" Q! P, |Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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8 p6 z5 Y' \% c% p- K- s4 `' hBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
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7 Z( |: q/ x- m+ I4 a$ GFart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
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7 Y7 q: d# S2 y1 bSpend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
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& B* p, Y7 I+ G6 KWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
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Pee.
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Rinse off and get out of shower. # w4 y5 }7 L! M8 d- n
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Partially dry off.
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Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. }1 Z- V! V b1 k. b7 w! d6 z8 g
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Admire wiener size in mirror again. F% ^& h* J# F4 m5 L! e- J
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
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+ t8 ]5 g/ V. B/ y7 ]: {7 XReturn to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. 6 F- l! T* _3 g. [
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Throw wet towel on bed. 9 W3 ?$ f/ O. l( x
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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