 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : 4 k0 e, M1 V3 A( A3 ], C- ~+ g+ ]
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Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.6 U* T2 x1 V1 n( h9 w9 _$ F0 t3 _
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Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. # ^% Z* d8 k k; u3 e8 S5 r
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If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.* ]6 e1 ?# I/ ^7 o
" R7 D) T- j3 F* H+ ^! eLook at your womanly physique in the mirror --
* `1 C! f. P4 Y4 Q# m' j6 N# {make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.# n5 X+ e G% |7 m4 U( p5 \
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
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' O" b8 z5 h( w) x9 K6 Z8 o& zWash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
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Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
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/ d* J1 _% u5 c6 k. CCondition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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) \% Z5 x J- lWash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
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Rinse conditioner off hair.
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Shave armpits and legs.
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Turn off shower.
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4 C3 ]; v! t( H5 ~8 H/ pSqueegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
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( p" ]7 J! J5 `, r/ q1 tSpray mold spots with Tilex. 1 [% |# {8 ~/ H1 ?: k; V) X( i
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Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. ' v9 E; O: `9 x7 V2 m
: D" E0 Z, E2 l0 C# SWrap hair in super absorbent towel. 8 Q4 A: A5 e p6 l' j- Z
2 ~& Z: X6 y. Q. L. D) F8 ]: f3 mReturn to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
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" ]( i4 D$ ]# hIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. * a7 i( j& i: g) P
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- j8 T' @+ K% q, q' p; Z5 n3 HHOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
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5 S$ B: I4 b, q. u# T: D( `Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. $ g# V' I ^, W. L, D5 X8 j
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Walk naked to the bathroom.8 j: p' r, I/ @
1 y# r2 p; b: r8 [0 s& bIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. ( n6 h' v* a; V3 u8 L% r6 o
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Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
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Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. 5 |' O k, Q8 H0 K8 Z8 I* s
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. , _6 j7 M, ?7 `% C: Y3 H
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Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
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Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. 1 n+ a* s) t1 x% Q! ?' N. N( ~
1 w- j# k9 r, z0 X5 w0 j' \Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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* k7 K v* }; Q% c% }: HWash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. * K0 K+ Q3 q7 r2 c' `, b( c' V
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Rinse off and get out of shower.
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Partially dry off." h/ T0 ` }( e% C+ V
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Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. ; F+ e- S3 y1 j( D/ H- @
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Admire wiener size in mirror again.
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, K$ T( G0 d- ~; @' { J* _- WLeave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. 4 ]) Q/ i) U- O
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. 9 I7 D# ]' L! q* V! k
7 f. L& d0 j& j' s. PThrow wet towel on bed.
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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