 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN : / P! e+ W7 q: c
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Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
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9 D3 t! T8 s, ^' |$ K; V2 XWalk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. ) Q2 n; G; i1 J0 o3 C" N
; ~8 h9 S9 ]& \1 [: @If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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9 |1 H0 d( \4 VLook at your womanly physique in the mirror --
/ k: C) H8 _# f& z7 Xmake mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.. `0 c( W% S% G/ |
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Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. # Y- z ^9 X) `8 @
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Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. / x/ T, b0 f; v! b+ }
) P5 ?( E0 V2 s- Y6 @2 w2 t7 kWash your hair again to make sure it's clean.3 \: m+ J* \1 l* G2 c. |# `
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Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced..
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Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
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Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
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Rinse conditioner off hair.! R8 M: A, c8 N+ |
# R; H# k2 e/ h! }+ y7 K |Shave armpits and legs.
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3 Q' w, Y. E9 v$ [Turn off shower.
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Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.( o7 Z0 g$ K5 f
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Spray mold spots with Tilex.
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Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
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! x w. _& U+ RWrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. 0 {( r6 d' W) y
9 ]! R( X. I4 ?/ X6 w& wIf you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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6 p4 f. O" \5 U qHOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
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Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
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# }0 R) ]: ?% U& iWalk naked to the bathroom.
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- I% J, j6 x. ^% E. xIf you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound.
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( m8 `$ l/ P, ^* \Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
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) w9 }9 z8 K3 V6 z# ^; T. o8 lAdmire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. 6 `4 Q; y h( n1 |+ k. C
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Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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3 t9 W s/ R: E2 l( ^6 hBlow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
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Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. : w# x/ F; ~' ?& X- e$ C: m
2 m r% }3 L8 B5 K9 z/ QSpend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. ( b$ E3 A7 P; |/ X9 ]2 o
$ M2 B7 U9 `! b6 b$ mWash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. $ A# k( _8 X; X0 `% ` g
5 T+ J) ]* a- b: H7 vPee. ! G2 E: D+ ~& i) s# { }
g& h4 Z( I; Q2 \. _( {/ g$ @; }! WRinse off and get out of shower.
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Partially dry off." h0 d m1 j6 v6 Q, O R4 m4 `
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Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
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Admire wiener size in mirror again. u8 S$ ^ [7 g B6 @# A
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Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
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Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
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Throw wet towel on bed. * j" C% c" k: d
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If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. |
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