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$ i+ U. B% s ~& y+ KWhy did God make mothers?/ }$ [3 U+ L# [5 Z
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1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
: c" ]3 X9 n9 l: s2. Mostly to clean the house.
) c+ m P. @) ?7 x1 e; ^3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.
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How did God make mothers? 7 z& W! d' G' X5 U/ q: c% |5 O
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
0 J, a! ~& y2 r8 M9 b! C! a2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
* `; i0 d* p; |* n$ C3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts. - |5 W- [( Y4 W k
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What ingredients are mothers made of ? 4 G, @3 y; r, n
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean. 6 `1 U9 s& N) P+ z% p
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.
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Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?
3 A1 N H8 T* j3 u; ]1. We're related.$ ^: f0 l1 q/ Q! f; ^6 E
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me. 7 b. \ n; D, C% t" W
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What kind of little girl was your mom?
\ p9 F+ }" z+ A1. My Mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff. ( |! Z0 J6 U: y% j
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
O7 R0 W+ ]+ b2 t+ ^3. They say she used to be nice. 5 u B/ h, B9 V, r% y; I- l. N
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What did mom need to know about dad before she married him? 4 E$ f2 |* \5 n ~: i
1. His last name.
( Y: q- f2 _( \5 D% o2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
; F% t6 i0 V- G+ J3 ~1 S8 {3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores? # ^; P, k: L; ^/ J5 [" Z1 M G# z
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Why did your mom marry your dad?
: L5 {7 J* z5 g) \( ]1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot.
8 k: W2 m) R+ P5 p2. She got too old to do anything else with him. 9 h! I: D, i- x& w* O: o& _* ~
3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on.
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Who's the boss at your house? 9 Q+ w# I/ U5 E
1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball.
4 W( j) l; P( J3 `/ W% ~2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
9 M' v# @ n0 J3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad. ' C8 G, @' u- u" M6 S
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What's the difference between moms & dads?
1 s t; j* J0 ^) B- |) _1. Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work.
1 v' o! L4 e' I8 k/ F# h2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
# X2 X+ @% E- _% u; ~3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's. ( b! {+ l. Z. }( |4 T
4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine. " `/ h* L' O0 F6 G, @0 @& B
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What does your mom do in her spare time?
" x, h* F) @& A$ O: J1 D0 V1. Mothers don't do spare time.
4 I A4 o2 `; p k2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long. - H1 d H* u6 U. r3 d
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What would it take to make your mom perfect?
" {- `' {8 t0 G' V$ r( c1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
9 C( H! W5 D' X; {8 U/ z2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue. - h, g) Z. v0 W, `
: U1 }) I7 o( l- v: K1 N8 SIf you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?
. R0 p# `* f4 z1 b* s1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that. % Y& F% y$ u! ~" l- R
2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me." R3 C: e9 ]* F5 W/ x, k" M2 |) v
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.
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