 鲜花( 1394)  鸡蛋( 16)
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/ i4 d" o e" V; |6 aWhy did God make mothers?
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1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
% Y; X6 X7 \8 F7 e; k5 g2. Mostly to clean the house.
- P% }8 o9 B! o- B/ E3. To help us out of there when we were getting born. 9 d5 g$ d) Q* ]4 S- K! @
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How did God make mothers? 0 ?" h/ F" Y2 u8 Q8 P
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.& \: W/ ^1 J' p: C4 m
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
1 F# ~; X* j K1 n- B8 c1 Y3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts. 2 Y7 D8 v$ y( ?* ~
. Q5 E8 B2 i/ A# m* S7 P u; T) VWhat ingredients are mothers made of ? ; C' C7 Y0 v+ R4 t2 ]7 j6 ~
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
! H5 g1 G, E: u% {2 @: S: j' X2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think. : e* Z; ?, c" D) H
9 W+ @( G3 }4 a( t4 R1 f# y' D @Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?
4 I- p: S3 A# ~8 c1. We're related.
3 V( l- h+ |& M1 o- J. `" o2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me.
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What kind of little girl was your mom? + L* e, l: ]5 F
1. My Mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
$ ]+ @5 }; d8 h' L- w4 `2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
. r3 U3 J6 T! c3. They say she used to be nice. 6 _/ {# N: Q7 e5 Q+ }- a
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What did mom need to know about dad before she married him? 3 z& Q+ X n2 m8 @/ d
1. His last name.
( ?/ N$ C- f* }( _. y$ F2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?& _6 M t# Z5 d, k
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores? " Q( E8 l) v }+ X
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Why did your mom marry your dad?
. L# j+ e* Q: S+ a0 Y, @6 C6 i1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot. 2 f% [% |, K5 x" r) p, t
2. She got too old to do anything else with him. # T5 s' }, [& ] H* G
3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on.
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: }7 a, E- I3 w- K8 X% XWho's the boss at your house?
8 Y j7 Q/ x7 G/ U2 ]1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball. / Q( W* k. q. L Y! j" r/ A
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
C' v1 X# r- e* U* Z3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.
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What's the difference between moms & dads? ! ?( Q" D3 }$ s+ ~: u
1. Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work.
7 I2 x' k8 L5 d V* B1 B6 o! T2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
" s5 J/ M8 u# {* Z' a3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's. ! `* v5 u; ~9 b( v
4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine. ' z% O1 I- x, L: p# S) u
" u k1 u+ k7 {# mWhat does your mom do in her spare time?
" }8 o1 I, {) j L4 w- J& r1. Mothers don't do spare time.
) w7 P: O* i3 ]1 g2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long. 8 ?5 M+ k2 t" ^. l# q3 l) B& G
0 y8 n1 e: m& sWhat would it take to make your mom perfect?
; R$ W+ j! l" n$ Q% ]9 w# \" J. o1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.: O( P7 ?' K9 ^8 e
2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue. 1 d. ?, n( H4 N! b K' t6 h3 i% t
0 v, H$ m8 y" q8 sIf you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?
4 w. \$ `* d0 @" X7 `1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
0 S8 u; J* y& y5 M- `# F2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.. l9 f+ g. k/ H4 J; H1 e
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.
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