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8 R9 Q2 C" ]) S1 s( aWhy did God make mothers?, o& i/ ?, T T& ?- `0 s0 E* `
( w8 ^+ N5 M% A1 c0 ^+ y5 T! f# i1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.2 Z5 Q; O' T# @) \- g/ e
2. Mostly to clean the house.
4 V4 D3 G* o" p3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.
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5 ^# D% J- v) w5 @How did God make mothers?
8 a- A# X; E x$ H. R* q) V( X2 N1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.1 ]+ |* T2 F/ e2 {* ?) a: \3 m
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring. , R/ q* h& N; f. V+ R7 O
3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.
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$ z& q5 @6 `, c2 SWhat ingredients are mothers made of ?
! R$ ~1 a, N. q* c* h, a9 E: ^" L) D1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean. $ L$ q3 Y! G5 s) J+ D/ S7 _
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think. ' |. e4 ~* `. U" [3 l8 ]3 Y; r
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Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?
1 L7 q! q5 r8 d/ Z/ }1. We're related.
& ~$ W+ {. l) t4 D4 f2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me. 7 ^6 c, U: J& O% d6 l
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What kind of little girl was your mom?
: c3 M4 ^& {# j6 r6 [1. My Mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff. * O" Z U0 [4 n) S
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
' O- ~8 V9 h; C3. They say she used to be nice.
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8 B- Q. n* d3 v; x8 rWhat did mom need to know about dad before she married him?
- Y/ O0 v/ }; r1 l1. His last name.
t( Z0 K8 z; K# U: p% v2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?0 Y6 \6 _7 f8 a/ ^1 U
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores? , @0 \2 C! w6 _' @. j9 r9 d. ~7 D
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Why did your mom marry your dad?
5 }& d& _! x8 Q" E8 g4 P1 I1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot. # }; U9 p! G$ T
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
/ v% c8 c5 c: k! u& Z8 s3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on.
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. o1 T/ J: f. Z" D8 V+ z$ X6 kWho's the boss at your house?
) ^7 a4 q% |+ ]; v. q) D8 K) C1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball.
. g" Q" b- X3 Q& L9 c2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
0 B' l) x: W" s' [; ^) H; b3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad. + R. p5 D- @! F" m
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What's the difference between moms & dads?
0 [$ e8 k3 i7 P7 `" h& G1. Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work.
* H; x8 x @1 o U& T c6 ~2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.' `/ }) I9 d; N. T" {/ z
3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's.
/ e3 ]) o( D& o2 i% h8 d4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine. 9 Y2 B! E/ E% [; M: }% }
: A6 X2 r" H) i# }9 ?# b' ?What does your mom do in her spare time? 3 {8 H1 ]8 L2 w$ Z
1. Mothers don't do spare time.6 |* u5 t- ?) n# x( e
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long. & y" b. x# n+ G' U
3 W- ? j2 w0 `What would it take to make your mom perfect?
* O; @1 D4 O8 c& `1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
( P( Q+ J; f7 v2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue. 4 w1 h, ^/ c! ~' }/ F [, a
3 `; _" n& e- N- ^. h# B: aIf you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be? 1 K4 D, l, K$ p# E+ v6 o0 z
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
5 \; `0 B2 t$ e2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.
: }3 y% r6 J5 I) @1 a8 Q8 R$ D3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head. ' y2 E A( G6 S( q" H6 r1 ^
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