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Why did God make mothers?
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: i9 {" Y7 G" p, }# S2 h) q7 ?1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.8 ~! ~* X; r1 P9 y% d9 k
2. Mostly to clean the house. , M$ H, X; i( m; d
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.
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. }' k- k, @" F$ G* }How did God make mothers? 0 W# g+ w$ d/ G, j$ ~
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
5 G0 b: r% _7 q2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
/ b0 ?6 E* z( z3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts. 9 f& {/ B6 d8 J
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What ingredients are mothers made of ? 1 s/ K# A" `$ A/ o% Y% A
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
* Q& @5 C2 \" c: I* _& V2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.
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/ o/ G/ E' q& e3 i/ ?Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?
( U/ _) N" i, I1. We're related.
2 v3 t9 h9 u1 R2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me.
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% L8 x+ J+ `( ?# A0 N1 B3 sWhat kind of little girl was your mom? 5 B( r& ~: Q$ a" l4 ~( [
1. My Mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff. ! g5 H9 J" e g8 l' g- k3 W+ v1 m
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy. 8 T( V, j& V: @! x/ t' G
3. They say she used to be nice. 7 \8 l4 h I. i) ?
0 X1 L1 t( z8 T/ }5 A: \& EWhat did mom need to know about dad before she married him? - o2 a$ N' \) q" r1 O
1. His last name.
2 L6 ` L' v7 p g2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
! }) }! m% {: o9 K R9 z/ a3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores? 3 Y, i2 `+ k$ F# N/ b& S8 H0 P
; h: I/ l: P% z% d* }Why did your mom marry your dad?
2 w* t* k8 T! `* l1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot. 9 U6 u) ^; l4 `# Q# a! F6 N
2. She got too old to do anything else with him. 6 ^! T+ y0 D5 O* G
3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on. ( a; A% H" z+ L! h! U9 I7 t2 Q
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Who's the boss at your house?
0 x$ ~8 a/ L* j, l( T7 q1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball. % J5 @) S! X* ]5 F
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
; \! C1 [, x: S8 m! z3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.
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What's the difference between moms & dads?
1 V& m' G% p6 g- D" x1 x$ I4 o1. Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work.
( O" R9 `( q/ k1 |1 P2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
1 L% T% n5 y) M1 ]' \3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's.
( m R, { c. Z+ }0 `4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.
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What does your mom do in her spare time?
$ [4 N4 v+ ]9 e G& Q1. Mothers don't do spare time.
8 D, U$ X1 J4 x, `' F8 q& H+ i2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long. ) s3 U$ F8 w6 m% w- S
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What would it take to make your mom perfect?
: O K# f2 T0 q5 t* X- g g1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
, j) Z5 Y: ~* F5 t6 U0 X2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue. - v6 d5 ~6 j+ l' b: v, \& [ G' F1 q2 F* Q
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If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?
- _! ~ m4 O' n r* ]# B, u1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that. 6 {) H+ ] |! O9 f
2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me." P$ a+ L% j9 B8 Y& b3 P, I" C) M. {
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head. $ K! O! \+ l. X0 d' C
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