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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA. C0 s" `3 s$ C! ~
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l; i7 O: u: G8 h 1. Bring your own house.& L: @- ` J$ R0 p& C2 I0 R' p8 H
) K2 \' _$ @, O- S' p$ E& g 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
% N6 ?2 ]: l5 acapital of Canada .
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6 M( o9 g& c/ j& K) |6 a 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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( ~9 e- e8 ]7 P% Z9 b 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug, Y% ?* B, }2 Q7 P- f" n+ _
capital of Canada .( T# R1 o) I: N6 G7 c6 E
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
V8 s. e5 ?+ D. g$ S" w$8.00/hour.3 o* v7 T; A7 o p
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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$ E' j% J3 k+ {- r% e* E* [+ c3 q 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money; Q* v* d& t4 C+ g" ~
on a 15 year holiday ?
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas6 @- x! Q+ w1 E- J; k
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)+ D) Q- q. M _- M4 E& l
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 121 q3 A- v$ x7 H0 h5 J$ W6 O* c
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".3 a$ @% k+ y& c% s. ?8 h
; V/ z5 b o0 ] p2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour2 n/ h2 x; A( a5 p# c( q
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.8 L4 x- J9 U2 M1 Z# A
0 ^: x" N5 M( H3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its3 s: F% v5 _# ?* W) H; ~) ]2 h' d
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest* S% E- ^2 Z# o0 t, n. q
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
6 l3 v! _/ f7 c" f; }/ Igo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell. ^2 m3 o# R: W1 R- \5 ]/ E n q
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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1 L: ]' a6 R# ]* c D1 `5 T' M% g4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
5 E; ~( q- A# F I2 qcussed out, and possibly shot.6 Y) {7 s% o/ j6 ^: Q
" M8 q; u6 R+ c4 E( r' b5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that# x& C7 c5 ^5 k* r6 F# n
can get you shot.
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/ `$ o, I6 b% [* \6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
2 |" Y8 f( \4 k9 Tbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next f m" K! c! Z4 M n- c& I
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and& K/ K# \) [, f1 k! i
more construction starts everyday.
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,- O1 t9 A0 v8 [; Y# [. x2 A
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
6 I, N+ ~4 P9 msquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.5 k5 K" e% K* L# y2 y# \8 @
?- O1 T7 c. k8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
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/ X; v4 a$ s; R6 M0 K+ H9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the, m A/ T7 D! H0 o! Z; ]
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally) Z G8 K$ Y* X5 b0 C o F- m
activated."4 k3 P; M( y8 X& o3 }
b4 Z* o; h! O7 t10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km& I2 ?0 c! p% N
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
$ `. I: U% f- G* d# V) Raccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur( M8 @) w. l* k* Z
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
" g0 t# o2 I3 D2 r4 I, A5 tblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is) x6 J. Y* g3 `: j) i% J
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
