送给要来或者打算要来EDMONTON，ALBERTA的朋友

acsm6

NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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+ {  b* D5 N7 I 1. Bring your own house.
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
hospital.
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3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
1 |5 d( M4 t4 C) D$ Jcapital of Canada .
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .

, v3 J6 ~/ e9 y  V' G 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
: e& a2 J$ m- T3 j# j; Jcapital of Canada .
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
$8.00/hour.

9 }& `, w$ m$ U  L! k0 P5 |9 v 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.

8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
on a 15 year holiday ?

% s; T( L" `' v9 |; D, L- } 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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, P  f; R5 @+ G: W1 a5 B10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
: s; I  I( z) g1 ^, Lhere sick.
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. l0 ?, F# T' t- I11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
4 c( b! `: q4 n! Byears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.

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7 w' a; ^0 Z( w' e! M: |. j3 V THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :

1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2 e% L( g3 V3 V1 j, s1 ]2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
1 K7 V5 i% s$ d0 g( zis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.

3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
6 |6 f% y: K# X/ d# ?own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
) _) _/ s6 B1 _* |# o! Fphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
cussed out, and possibly shot.

3 N* v( E1 |( q% I5 n; I9 {, K5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
can get you shot.

, t' V. T6 g3 f5 B1 G6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
! t# @2 g% x! c3 |; y- `5 p4 ebarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
! h$ z% |$ c# E/ Hday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
more construction starts everyday.
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1 D8 p  u+ M! r3 M( C- u  p  7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
( Q9 d$ ?& h0 w+ U& [8 }squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.

8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
4 T9 s7 i5 b/ X, C) zthe same road.

9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
activated."
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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7 \9 W5 A- V% H$ d3 O11     . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
. n8 K9 k# a! _7 L9 Q) O  klined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw.

大头熊

有点夸张。不过还是佩服生活在这的人，大部分人都活下来了。

kaleli

又是一个挨砖的帖子。

人生几何

紫光

西红柿酸

HOAH

朋友坐在一起聊天的时候，最怕有人带来公厕的味道，弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
: a) ^$ }! x& P满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜，其实大多数都一生一无所成，能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了，什么都屈才。
有一个人，他骂了自己所在单位一辈子，由于长期持有一种心情，一种哀怨的表情，脸色都是土灰色的了，可就是没见他作出什么成就，已没有离开他的破单位，却大大煞了周围人生活的风景。

April

来自多伦多的朋友 忽悠 其他朋友 来爱民屯说 :
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此地钱多, 人傻, 速来
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[ 本帖最后由 April 于 2007-10-11 22:12 编辑 ]

pacibridge

原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
# m; e# U. z, D, f朋友坐在一起聊天的时候，最怕有人带来公厕的味道，弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
0 k: {/ Z* R: B9 I, L" I5 Z4 O满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜，其实大多数都一生一无所成，能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了，什么都屈才。
...

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) `0 l- W. l% i8 h4 U0 p 说事，谈话题，别攻击人。什么素质？整个一厕所。

上酸菜

是原创吗？楼主太有才了，佩服啊！！

宁宁宝宝

HOAH

原帖由 pacibridge 于 2007-10-11 22:20 发表


, ^9 f# O* e' }' J/ ]+ x) k 说事，谈话题，别攻击人。什么素质？整个一厕所。

这么刺痛你了吗？

我可指的是极少数人，如果你不是，就别往自己身上想。

大头熊

原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
. u  Q# G0 t, Y( T  b0 p! S朋友坐在一起聊天的时候，最怕有人带来公厕的味道，弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
  l( `- v+ O. M* ]满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜，其实大多数都一生一无所成，能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了，什么都屈才。
...

- V" F7 F; t2 A9 e9 X6 O- `你这样不太好吧！每个人都有抱怨的权力。对待不合理的现象大家都齐声颂扬，好象不是民主自由的加拿大的特点。

' x4 _  y+ M- F) {) b$ F再次申明我的观点，Edmonton是全世界最好的城市。

Yang123

埃德蒙顿, 是一个盛产冠军的城市! 能在埃德蒙顿扎根发展的人, 都是强者中的强者!

MyFairy

Please mark ZT when 分享 other people's 原创. Thanks.

lalah

就是一还“有点才”的调侃嘛。有些人干吗那么serious啊

兔宝宝

以前见过,这好像是西门莎菲大学的人写的(不敢肯定).不光EDMONTON,还有别的省,市.只是调侃.