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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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1. Bring your own house.- J, y8 C T. }! b0 x" s3 A# {2 ^
, |+ G% u- v' C 2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and. ~- X4 K0 y# _0 q/ |$ E: U* D
hospital.
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+ a2 ^. A; K" h: s5 V3 L 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder0 I' T& z; `0 X
capital of Canada .
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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8 X; l; z$ L7 g' K: G 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
4 l& F) \6 G- A9 kcapital of Canada .
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3 {* R2 `3 O, Y& v8 a2 V" w* w 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
0 X$ r5 q$ q" r( [/ y3 n$8.00/hour.7 ?, p9 r& w) O) K( S
# r* n/ Y: r Q2 Z, f 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.6 v* ^% e3 c- L. h
" `5 d( d& C ` 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money: _6 x; Q: z9 B# t
on a 15 year holiday ?# H4 }0 y5 y" k4 U: S* d. e; e
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas7 b! r. j, Y3 o Y
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come& I- \- u" \. E6 ]
here sick.% Z/ U9 I% e: X5 _
$ B+ n# R5 g3 R, p; p11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
$ ~; F% ?+ e4 ~; Ryears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.) G/ A4 \$ T6 e& i4 v) S4 }# O" z
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :( E0 n+ u7 M$ o" M
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour8 v! m2 d$ e0 S( j; J
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.2 G3 G: ?( r" S3 j( ?. z) |
, V6 O( J0 R4 K" P2 T3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its. J; M7 e1 B& z- ?, C/ ?
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest2 c9 W5 d; v1 x. B" b+ q5 t/ G
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
: v2 u% r9 V, ]/ ogo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
: p5 u5 q3 m5 Y& f ?phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.0 ?. M# L: @) T7 W7 v7 y" A
) u6 I$ x6 \8 d9 N+ G3 J: s4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,8 {( N% ~& ?7 t& m3 |2 W
cussed out, and possibly shot.7 i- k% H: N& T p4 B5 o
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that7 ]) }0 [6 n: X, m3 q- e% U
can get you shot.
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour$ n1 U3 s/ q9 x( B( x" [
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
# U) `1 ?% V4 g# p/ Cday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
( ]6 r0 K$ `6 Z/ y& v l4 Dmore construction starts everyday.
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; G' m; F5 I+ H" Y3 {: V% b 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
8 x' }$ R7 @! E/ ]+ A/ X( Wdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,; \, y, ?/ _6 z( j0 O& u; W' q; |
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
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activated."0 u+ p* o* o+ `7 F& f- k+ j8 g$ i Y
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km8 k/ d4 H) `/ R4 E& I/ L: O5 q9 `
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"" z( V" k+ c' ~; E' _3 Y# @' d0 `1 h
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot., y' h" T6 l p; b% B
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
/ [: r8 A7 o( |( ?5 `lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
0 F2 x, z: ~8 F8 W: S" T' ^9 Qblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is6 C/ ~* S2 h0 ^5 \) \: U
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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