 鲜花( 1)  鸡蛋( 0)
|
NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
8 y$ H; b, a6 P" X9 L' a9 H# }8 t. o. S0 I
+ ^/ p. [% N6 f9 k+ \' a7 Y( y, Q
# X- D5 z5 v- }' P7 T" a! p 1. Bring your own house.
9 Y2 _9 \, ]8 `2 R s' F) H! q$ t( n$ p7 I7 ?4 P$ A
2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and% ^/ {' {. }; `2 s4 c/ y
hospital.7 n2 w# j& e" A1 t( |0 A D
/ ], k# l" ~- ]" v
3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder* W, K( |9 Z: w) u- m q# @
capital of Canada .( ]; q8 t/ @6 N
; Q$ s1 I: a. |4 f$ s 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
5 ]5 X! W( b, f6 h2 ]
( w7 t. k1 u9 f 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug& m+ M5 }/ u# a/ j
capital of Canada .) C' D$ G% q# ?6 j/ i/ G: k5 E% S8 _
/ ^$ |& i/ J. E
6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
4 m! |- k0 p+ w5 H0 B5 n$8.00/hour.- T3 {9 B3 n( j3 C
" K# k5 i. m+ f6 g! ` 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
" g) V$ a$ {$ W$ K0 |& l# g; e5 F
8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
5 `2 Y! s* k3 i1 ^3 R! [6 |on a 15 year holiday ?
" X, z# j5 |+ c+ V0 V& z- L/ t+ F* M# y- L7 W/ Y
9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
0 B1 t; I# h1 S% A& R3 eprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage). w! m$ U5 I0 |4 j4 E
9 g; `) ^ L2 h! Y3 H) v$ Q
10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come% [" O& w5 b/ U+ {& `; w
here sick.
* l; W- T! f! \7 d
8 }8 h _( F% q4 Q6 C: e11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
# B3 K0 O, P: I1 V" dyears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.0 W7 m. K+ {5 K0 |4 @( ?5 h3 F" n
: [3 H5 \' p4 p) R0 b( z
' J9 _- t7 x, u9 [$ |$ F# q1 E. _ a# ^: J' \9 u4 W3 f
THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :5 P- p: M- M8 E
1 u2 R& Q1 o4 q# n8 H1 s+ E. D2 D8 d
1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
3 \- Z4 z# r: _4 Y, i \2 o+ i2 Y' t/ ?/ p
2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
/ M- ?6 }' z" C2 J6 Yis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
; y% p8 c4 P6 p
4 d* D. K" z- \0 F1 K) p3 l Z1 E4 G6 _3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
7 w' X/ s5 M$ z/ u6 iown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest; D) _' }. d+ E+ e4 O
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires( j- E' f6 a/ Z. o7 n7 n% U
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell+ R C% v! C- {! Q3 z( k4 M4 l3 V
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
$ V ~% A5 A' s9 x8 J8 Q0 Z& G6 p! P; _1 _1 K2 ~
4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,4 {9 p: q$ l! k
cussed out, and possibly shot.
8 `( _5 l7 E% T- d$ f2 _: `
j/ E# q4 N4 s5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
3 }0 B* ^: u/ h9 D, [9 W! rcan get you shot.+ A6 x8 B: Y- _% _* z
C1 d6 K9 g4 U8 E9 B6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
+ _3 }# m4 e# p+ ^2 dbarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
# l3 q5 ?' L; `6 E$ m- Y! Zday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
( l5 b& W ^* C2 Amore construction starts everyday.1 m Q( Q: Z* p q$ ~& B
8 ^( W" Z/ a# I u& u g# w 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,, e. b9 Q6 H- P' I$ D0 X
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,8 O; g( ]! e% A* y% e2 o
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
- V: e6 h9 W5 r! G9 X
3 K! ~2 |8 q7 l1 F3 M8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all i; P/ {4 d( B) ]2 Y9 \7 ]/ @6 \( z
the same road.
" X e2 Y/ r6 G9 u# K
1 ^! ^1 h2 h3 g4 W* N( V: |9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the& Z5 ?1 q; L7 v+ D# j
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally/ x$ C% A4 q' Y
activated."8 e R2 e' X: [8 B9 u3 K
0 L5 {9 h, y! n; X0 s; V3 o
10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km. B \( [5 m" [0 _1 ]
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
% ?9 ^* A" A y0 R8 yaccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.' p- N0 p4 X$ h7 g4 i! q
% e0 l/ f4 O9 q# @7 z0 d* T" E# }
11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
( J% ~1 e1 H) q0 G$ E; [lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and7 y/ c( y# \6 h6 ]8 D
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is9 i; i, N3 K, c
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
|
狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
提升卡
置顶卡
沉默卡
喧嚣卡
变色卡
显身卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
7 p8 o) |0 X4 M$ d3 U8 e& ^8 I4 Z
& `8 \" D+ `2 Q: {$ G9 {
