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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA( G. F6 n+ W" e6 K w- X9 g
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' O K5 c( Y& x 1. Bring your own house.
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and! r1 q( g7 C! q; d- A7 |. m) N+ T
hospital.
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) ~2 v4 q8 C8 e# F 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder0 M; T1 `& M/ M9 z: H9 p e
capital of Canada .
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1 W/ A5 m. f# R0 [ 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .3 D3 M @$ B3 F5 x8 l
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
1 s4 [6 z e, |: E* |9 scapital of Canada .
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/ ~3 `- r3 L8 n6 v }$ m5 H 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
9 c! w& q6 k3 i" X& X, z$8.00/hour.$ w; b# N3 O' F; j6 }4 i
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money6 A- Y3 B& [; v( } D
on a 15 year holiday ?# C2 R3 o( ?6 |+ g* {: B# h3 J8 s
1 t k4 p$ \% O2 e% q& Y 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
4 T7 L8 W8 ^' c$ j% Y C, @prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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% ]3 [9 Y1 Y6 u+ e+ q10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come% S7 N( ?/ r; }) g- h ^! Z/ k
here sick.1 _, x% C& H. r
$ d1 E* b9 f) I9 p5 q' ?- |9 m11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12: q& ]; W4 b0 _0 G, |
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.! {) T, Z: v- K8 c. u
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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9 T: _% v. S$ H1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".1 X( |5 e! m+ @+ }
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
9 {' }4 H) E4 l/ d/ L0 `( y8 s! ois from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
. t3 ^& ? x4 B4 T7 gown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
* b3 s% Y; o, _1 g! U% W5 Kmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires" H! S& e: [7 f& ]+ l
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell1 w6 n! \) ]* ~ Z, ]9 o# G5 ^
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
5 J, S4 ], O% Vcussed out, and possibly shot.
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, X1 R0 r! R" [& [7 B5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
2 @$ I E1 u: r# H* b: lcan get you shot.
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
. D }+ ]( ]4 }/ ^barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
, T1 \1 X Y( l1 J% ]! zday's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and3 g) ?' e$ e2 {7 Y/ o
more construction starts everyday.
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,5 B" s t( _) a1 H" _3 |7 U
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,& X1 b' H8 c+ \6 U" y9 T
squirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.2 W% T6 r Q0 T: j9 W
$ p# } @( u9 l! l% R. Z* ^; p8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all& B/ U- g g2 |8 w L5 y
the same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the' H$ [" E7 b- r4 T; V2 n1 ~! n( ^
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally ]; w% R" e- j9 }
activated."
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km; @' e; {0 s( C% H7 A0 Q
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
% U( ` k: m- N( t1 D8 r. iaccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.3 t9 C% j" W- Z5 ~+ W1 `8 p$ H
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11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
$ g% Z4 D w: Q, d5 H) N( {3 T& t& D/ @lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and! ^7 ~; }" w. D' L1 L
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is0 s0 ^" I8 \6 T: Y6 \0 w
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
