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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA6 D3 U2 g: E8 B, o* l' M1 u
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1. Bring your own house.
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
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( _$ ? I- K/ N% d" M5 S+ i 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
/ X+ J" h( n' j3 S+ f: o p" @capital of Canada .
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4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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7 e5 P3 w: |, ~$ G/ a" M4 A 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug3 v2 Y/ v: Q$ O8 x J/ N
capital of Canada .
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: E6 J% u! \9 k2 P/ Y* O/ q5 o 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
! a: H9 W: g ^; F3 Y3 b+ p$8.00/hour.) J7 w$ m! [- V n0 z
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.0 R" V5 z+ }4 l8 @% |
1 ^ N" ]( [8 |1 A# U/ B 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money% i& m$ s* E% t
on a 15 year holiday ?
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas1 o$ D0 g) B: l1 ]
prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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; N4 X7 |/ Q1 _# W7 z10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come) S; S# U) A9 q+ s( b* o
here sick.
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12( `2 y/ M. s, E( B/ _+ G
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".
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* H& G5 r8 \( |/ L; m2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
% q T. V7 M/ \is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.) Z- v; f( X$ E2 X" D' \
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
7 ?# V' p# M: [ b! W. w+ Nown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
8 E; z* \ S( C/ imuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
/ k. S! V& {/ `2 Z3 N# Pgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
1 f) f% o: B/ {+ Y2 W' ~; y! m( Kphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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' X8 s0 X" v+ {4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
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2 d9 V. v2 \5 q* R2 ]' J! P0 D5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that5 _' \8 Z/ m3 k; Y5 b6 I
can get you shot./ i" g" J( O( _8 s3 [
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour I) U6 Y' x; U2 L
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next; B3 S! J1 h, y) p- s
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and. _/ n, R% `8 a# X' o+ ?. x/ `: `
more construction starts everyday.) f! u9 ]1 m7 f' G$ v9 L0 n
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7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
& O5 e- ]. W1 h- F0 vdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
" X/ ]2 \7 l( x9 }$ Z; gsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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4 n+ d% \# s: }8 d8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
9 v( K' B' J2 z$ r6 h, o& wthe same road.; Z1 N6 ?6 R& {/ O8 `0 s9 C) x
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the5 _7 q0 Y& a- T/ h- V5 [& k3 A4 l
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km5 m8 x g. I# k" m n
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"1 s# z+ A7 Q8 M" @( G
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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/ `5 s9 Z5 g$ i' S. m11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
! y- Q4 D) S7 l3 Z2 r" K1 Elined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
! N- x- K( x, T: ~blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is6 w4 m* R; o0 G E& w# `
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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