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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA
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( f% A9 L, c( p 1. Bring your own house.: h4 g+ V8 S$ b0 G& u5 Z1 o
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and1 {$ u3 X% J, n
hospital.
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( Q2 e8 `7 q6 ]4 J9 v, z 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder% W5 e$ w5 a( G& d b; j
capital of Canada .( T9 X6 j9 |+ `( A$ P) d" ]
6 }" T: F0 W' u: m) S 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .4 ?$ C7 X# p3 T" _' [" o4 l6 d2 C0 H
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5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is% I9 c; w- ~ K& y% m
$8.00/hour.3 k6 L1 V# l* K2 L% Z/ }
3 r% M6 d8 u% |% O 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.8 d9 j( ^0 X$ l6 G
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
4 T. F& P' k- L! Kon a 15 year holiday ?
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6 J4 g* t4 e; e4 u4 o) K2 x% g 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
; Q0 x) ~2 W6 ~) y4 `* _2 j/ oprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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9 q6 @6 o# f- \% g! Q: H+ A5 k10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come) N' U% x/ [! |' d
here sick.; r( ]1 @; }. @ z/ y5 }- G
1 n, I: i, q% t% d9 B8 p1 \& d+ x11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
# k! @' D( l$ [. Myears ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.3 w2 f- R/ I$ o7 Q8 j# S# V: b8 N
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".1 E6 ^$ |/ ]) @2 e0 u: m
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
) G0 n Z* g8 y/ Sis from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its+ l" p8 ?; |( H
own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest+ L! U6 z7 M) Y5 j
muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires' g) f6 R! e& c% M6 e
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell" M- f1 @2 x! {5 X: ]9 `# c8 X
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,# N6 u4 E! q9 o, z
cussed out, and possibly shot.
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' l" {: p! o; r# E. g0 E. p7 w5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that+ Y% Z+ V& F: n2 ~' P4 h+ V: G
can get you shot.0 J6 m3 t. S4 o
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6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
! L* B8 O0 K5 T1 Ibarrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next( R& R ^. x1 v0 Z
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and1 V% E& s8 h- C& N! s
more construction starts everyday.
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* U1 [+ q! V! a- f( v! L& L% H$ F% @ 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,) X ]7 T1 _* M% ]" ?) M! [6 m8 B' l
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
' \' P: t t" I. Q, J- ~, csquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.
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8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all# B3 b) K$ w9 {
the same road.
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) N+ V- X/ H7 P `. K1 c% |$ `9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the7 ^1 a" U0 ~! C8 p8 ~# |3 I2 U
shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km, w d/ D4 i" Y+ \
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"5 L0 T% W. p" m8 l, O8 f0 i) \7 x
accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.# W0 m0 M1 ~4 a6 i# l- Q
! D1 A! N( b; j0 s11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur9 A1 k; M8 ~. h' D5 N. ~
lined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
+ o. m g% M! S. {4 n; Hblankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is& P' c" V0 B' I/ Y
virtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
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