送给要来或者打算要来EDMONTON，ALBERTA的朋友

acsm6

NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA


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1. Bring your own house.
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and
hospital.
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" A7 Y9 [% k9 h) {. Y$ o/ f 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder
9 u3 N0 t! E$ a, H4 A# D) W- Z2 xcapital of Canada .

4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .

6 B, A+ i6 p" e- o$ u7 U7 K) @7 z2 y7 C 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug
% e0 D1 \, Q: m. s1 t$ Mcapital of Canada .

; q. r; M2 z* ~' z* ?7 S3 T 6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is
$8.00/hour.

6 v, b) n" p; B" {4 l3 A 7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.

; \/ Q9 k' F1 ^3 k6 ]) e 8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
$ S; ?) A2 A- @, }on a 15 year holiday ?

# F2 Q9 p+ A4 F( I2 n 9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
# P; m* Q/ i+ F0 `# `, b  m- ?prices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)

: r8 O$ B# {5 }; |( e10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come
; O- e- _# L3 _  i8 There sick.

11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.


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! V4 j5 J. {8 K4 e/ x* t# o THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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2 x6 M$ d8 c! K$ M! L& E1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".

2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.

3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
/ T: w6 {6 Z* C! z2 ~own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
3 I. l8 D7 R9 P  I0 M! O* }( g2 tmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires
, q2 Y' H  C2 r, R3 U6 Cgo second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.

3 v9 X6 ?4 b  z0 P4 G5 t( k4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,
cussed out, and possibly shot.

5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
can get you shot.

) k# y. Y% h! R! B6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and
more construction starts everyday.

  7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
deer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
% l( B% Z0 ^- ~7 w7 z( }5 O0 asquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items.

2 H/ O! k1 i# b& c& A2 p3 l) y8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all
; u% `" h2 |$ B* lthe same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
3 t  M  |$ B5 x" N) D7 X5 s8 nshoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally
( e/ M1 d. s) {0 t/ h6 dactivated."
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10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km
0 g% m" m9 G0 T2 y% I( ozone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
. x6 p7 h  G1 O& n1 Zaccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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# j6 m9 m4 Q4 N0 D$ e1 P11     . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
; Z: v6 x" l2 ?, l5 Olined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
* @5 M' r5 E. h) X  uvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw.

大头熊

有点夸张。不过还是佩服生活在这的人，大部分人都活下来了。

kaleli

又是一个挨砖的帖子。

人生几何

紫光

西红柿酸

HOAH

朋友坐在一起聊天的时候，最怕有人带来公厕的味道，弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
( ]- L* _# ]8 y9 R满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜，其实大多数都一生一无所成，能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了，什么都屈才。
有一个人，他骂了自己所在单位一辈子，由于长期持有一种心情，一种哀怨的表情，脸色都是土灰色的了，可就是没见他作出什么成就，已没有离开他的破单位，却大大煞了周围人生活的风景。

April

来自多伦多的朋友 忽悠 其他朋友 来爱民屯说 :
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此地钱多, 人傻, 速来
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[ 本帖最后由 April 于 2007-10-11 22:12 编辑 ]

pacibridge

原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
9 ], ^: Z/ g* _! @; Q, W0 ~& a3 `朋友坐在一起聊天的时候，最怕有人带来公厕的味道，弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
' ~" Z8 S% ?4 s6 R满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜，其实大多数都一生一无所成，能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了，什么都屈才。
...

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9 W& w& p/ U% ?% B' Z4 d3 i 说事，谈话题，别攻击人。什么素质？整个一厕所。

上酸菜

是原创吗？楼主太有才了，佩服啊！！

宁宁宝宝

HOAH

原帖由 pacibridge 于 2007-10-11 22:20 发表


9 W" P- x; z" N/ T% y 说事，谈话题，别攻击人。什么素质？整个一厕所。

这么刺痛你了吗？
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我可指的是极少数人，如果你不是，就别往自己身上想。

大头熊

原帖由 HOAH 于 2007-10-11 21:32 发表
0 W0 F% o- h8 S* y1 s) H朋友坐在一起聊天的时候，最怕有人带来公厕的味道，弄得大家好好的生活都觉得恶心。
! r7 W. O; B/ n2 F" l满腹牢骚的人看似独树一帜，其实大多数都一生一无所成，能混个平常日子都不错了。因为他们把自己看得太高了，什么都屈才。
...

; }9 ?- {- K% e2 j你这样不太好吧！每个人都有抱怨的权力。对待不合理的现象大家都齐声颂扬，好象不是民主自由的加拿大的特点。
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再次申明我的观点，Edmonton是全世界最好的城市。

Yang123

埃德蒙顿, 是一个盛产冠军的城市! 能在埃德蒙顿扎根发展的人, 都是强者中的强者!

MyFairy

Please mark ZT when 分享 other people's 原创. Thanks.

lalah

就是一还“有点才”的调侃嘛。有些人干吗那么serious啊

兔宝宝

以前见过,这好像是西门莎菲大学的人写的(不敢肯定).不光EDMONTON,还有别的省,市.只是调侃.