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NEW RULES FOR ENTERING ALBERTA/ m2 y+ O, w8 o0 @5 Z: `5 b' c/ ]
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1. Bring your own house.% y/ C) F5 h8 |) A7 t
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2. If going to the Oil Sands, bring your own house, school and; Q7 R: ~' {1 L6 n* h
hospital.
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, p, a8 ~. Q, [- U 3. If going to Edmonton , wear your flak jacket. This is the murder/ [. C& K7 e: M. E0 L$ l; ^
capital of Canada .
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# p c# e& L$ p& u/ N 4. If driving to Edmonton, it is also the auto theft center of Canada .
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* A: Z% Q" j4 z0 z- L# N* q 5. If you are bringing drugs, head to West Edmonton Mall, the drug" H) x/ C; I& t" S& Q: |
capital of Canada .
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6. If you are looking for work, look no further. Minimum wage is7 i4 J+ ^4 Z9 c7 X( m' C7 x3 ]
$8.00/hour.8 _4 E7 Q8 k& k% @8 s
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7. If you work downtown, parking costs $10.00/hour.- {1 u1 A# V, G7 C/ F% @& |' Y
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8. If you are able to buy a house in Calgary , why not spend the money
+ h5 y8 N& o- [* V; w& non a 15 year holiday ?
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9. If you drive a Hummer, look out. We sit amongst the highest gas
4 A( b6 o( S: }6 yprices in Canada . (So much for The Alberta Advantage)
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6 w* C8 \0 t- Z' @10. In Edmonton we have 5 hospitals. 10 years ago we had 7. Don't come y8 P* J% U. o" G/ d3 \
here sick.
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11. In Calgary, the population has exploded. The last road was paved 12' w' R$ a8 C5 {+ n; S- G
years ago. Calgary is a no-parking zone.% |; `" Q7 } x8 k: @5 c3 O
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THE NEW RULES FOR DRIVING IN EDMONTON :
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1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: " E-MIN-TIN ".3 I B6 l5 a& r' t; x4 y9 H
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2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00am to noon. The evening rush hour0 @& z+ f, U; F' I+ o8 b
is from noon to 8:00pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
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3 . Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Edmonton now has its
* N! J# L3 e6 Jown version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest
' j0 l. t; O. b# N4 d* d$ ^( Cmuffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires( x1 @% w* O- O* k- ?$ y* e: |
go second. However, south-west Edmonton , SUV-driving, cell
) M4 H+ ^& A" l/ K' Z0 u6 Zphone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
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4 K+ Z2 {! g3 Y" ^4 . If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended,2 b7 V* a3 b9 G8 H% \$ K9 y6 h( U$ u
cussed out, and possibly shot.9 v6 |& W# c5 O7 [- Y
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5 . Never honk at anyone. Ever! Seriously! It's another offense that
, X+ S! |9 J! _8 |5 [6 ccan get you shot.
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" ` u+ `, G9 B3 j3 Z6 . Road construction is permanent and continuous in Edmonton . Detour; g G8 p% n" u- y$ E
barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next
6 ?/ F) b9 x; R5 A, @6 ^1 [day's driving a bit more exciting, but nothing ever gets finished, and6 h0 ~3 h9 A* e1 K
more construction starts everyday.
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, Y2 h$ b+ Z1 X# j* g 7 . Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, cats,
2 g* r, d% E, y4 Vdeer, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mattresses, shredded tires, garbage,
4 r: t$ o) S* f" u$ @) w( Lsquirrels, rabbits, crows, and coyotes feeding on any of these items. z; @# U& | S4 Q
% E* v+ o% ~7 l( ~- L# {) g8 . Calgary Trail, Gateway Boulevard, Highway 2 and the QE2 are all7 L6 [7 N4 Y, B' |- W+ [. V
the same road.
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9 . If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the
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) S0 A9 y1 k" l5 w& a" G% b10 . If you are in the left lane and only driving 110 in a 80-90 km9 @- }% r" z/ ~* B. D$ R8 ] E) z& D
zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
4 Q6 @; @3 c3 Raccordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.
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4 I. [ U2 `1 r# \4 I4 `# U11 . For winter driving, it is advisable to wear your parka, toque, fur
# V7 j8 U) M' x' h; p* P4 w3 jlined mittens and mukluks. Make sure you have a shovel, food, candle and8 o; J" C% q( `! }4 o, c2 k+ y
blankets in the vehicle, as snow removal from the city streets is
+ d T6 I- V2 g) \) C$ d/ h9 rvirtually non-existent until the spring thaw. |
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:09
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发表于 2007-10-11 19:51
